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Miss Crump's Blackboard - The Andy Griffith Show Forum
http://www.tagsrwc.com/cgi-bin/crumpbb/YaBB.pl Library Archives >> Art Class >> The counties bill to Regis http://www.tagsrwc.com/cgi-bin/crumpbb/YaBB.pl?num=1208017575 Message started by Mr Wheeler on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 11:26am

Title: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Mr Wheeler on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 11:26am

Dear Regis, It is our regret that we have to inform you of a bill that is currently being sent to you in the amount of 264.74, this amount is the exact cost that it will take to clean our water supply after you have taken your bath, whether it is a weekly, monthly, or even yearly ritual that you go through has no bearing on the amount, of course the more baths you take the more bills you will get.
Below please find a diagram drawn by Mr Sprague the City Clerk as evidence of the pollution you are spewing after each and every bath.
In the future we hope you might hose yourself off before using the natural streams lakes or county water supply. Please send you payment to the town clerk of the county of Mayberry.

Thank you and have a good day
Town Council of Mayberry

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Regis on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 11:35am

FRAUD! I charge FRAUD! This is Wheeler's doing, NOT the town of Mayberry! How do I know? Just look whose picture is beside the "bill" ! It's as plain as the softness of Wheeler's hands!

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Mr Wheeler on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 11:42am

wrote on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 11:35am:

FRAUD! I charge FRAUD! This is Wheeler's doing, NOT the town of Mayberry! How do I know? Just look whose picture is beside the "bill" ! It's as plain as the softness of Wheeler's hands!

Now Now Regis, I just a messenger hired to relate all important information between the council and yourself. I will try to ask them if they will take payments of 25% per month with standard 1.5% interest, If thats suitable with you of course, if not then Pay it in full within 30 days of this date.

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Briscoe Darling on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 12:20pm

Mr Wheeler wrote on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 11:26am:

Wheeler, I don't see how you can bill the county for YOUR kitchen sink leaking into Myers Lake, killing the fish!!! >:( Your picture there is EVIDENCE that WILL be used in Mayor's Court to try and convict you of purposely killing the fish in Myers Lake, including Ol' Sam!!!

You're not even a member of the Town Council of Mayberry, therefore you are WAY out of place to falsely accuse and TRY to bill a citizen of Mayberry for YOUR crime!!! >:(

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Seth Taylor on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 1:13pm

Don't make me get physical with ya, but I will if'n you don't leave Regis alone, you old softed thing you! :D

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Mr Wheeler on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 2:48pm

Briscoe Darling wrote on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 12:20pm:

That reminds me, I need to tell the town council of that foul order comming out of your cabin, :-?.....there are laws for that sort of pollution.....Here is a picture of the cloud over your cabin....be back with your bill Mr Briscoe in a bit....

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Mr Wheeler on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 2:51pm

Seth Taylor wrote on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 1:13pm:

Don't make me get physical with ya, but I will if'n you don't leave Regis alone, you old softed thing you! :D

Watch it Seth, I might just tip you over when I walk by ya. ;D

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Selfishgiraffe on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 2:53pm

I would train some pigeons to take care of him. That'll put the fear of God into him! ;D

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Regis on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 2:59pm

Keep it up Wheeler and they is gonna have to hire people to come to your funeral! >:(

As far as owing the county....well...they can just go ahead and arrest me cause I ain't paying a dime. Lets see....they lock me up in a warm place where I get three square meals a day. If I get sick they have to send me to the doctor and they pay for it. If I have to stay long enough they give me clothes to wear. They might even teach me a trade. Sure beats what I got now! No....I don't think I'm gonna pay that bill. Just tell the sheriff to come on any time and I'll go peaceful like. ;)

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Mr Wheeler on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 3:02pm

wrote on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 2:59pm:

Geez forget it..... ;D

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Regis on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 3:06pm

Mr Wheeler wrote on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 3:02pm:

Geez forget it..... ;D

No Sir! A deal is a deal. Tell the sheriff I'll be waitin' at the wide spot at the bottom of Turner's grade.

About that funeral thing. Don't worry. I'll come for free. I might even say a few things about you if you like. :'(

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Mr Wheeler on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 3:14pm

wrote on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 3:06pm:

Dont make me call my Cavalry on ya, you little hermit you. >:(

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Seth Taylor on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 3:14pm

wrote on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 3:06pm:

I might even say a few things about you if you like. :'(

I don't think he would want to lie, Regis! :)

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Mr Wheeler on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 3:18pm

Mr Wheeler wrote on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 2:51pm:

Watch it Seth, I might just tip you over when I walk by ya. ;D

I will just repeat this for ya rock head....

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Briscoe Darling on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 3:32pm

Mr Wheeler wrote on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 2:48pm:

That "picture" looks more like a Topo map or a rare Monet painting!

The cloud over our cabin is from Jebbin a burnin' the Hoot Owl Pie!!! >:( Thaty was our last Hoot Owl too!!! >:( Charlene and Dud are on vacation and I guess we'll have to go without supper tonight. :( NO, I don't want one of yer stinkin' onions either!!! ;D

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Regis on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 3:34pm

Mr Wheeler wrote on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 3:14pm:

Dont make me call my Cavalry on ya, you little hermit you. >:(

Uhhh....this is the civilian side....that is the military side. You want to combine the two? If so, there is the matter of a rope. :o

Title: Re: The counties bill to Regis
Post by Mr Wheeler on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 3:41pm

wrote on Apr 12^th, 2008 at 3:34pm:

Uhhh....this is the civilian side....that is the military side. You want to combine the two? If so, there is the matter of a rope. :o

no, its ok, let keep em seperate...settle down men......