When plaster casts are made of the cows foot prints, I heard that was called a "MOOlage".....

imagineer wrote on Jan 6^th, 2011 at 5:09pm:

When plaster casts are made of the cows foot prints, I heard that was called a "MOOlage".....

Holy cow.....I was thinkin' the same thing!

uncle nat wrote on Jan 6^th, 2011 at 5:19pm:

Holy cow.....I was thinkin' the same thing!

double "oh brother"!

Cows may come, and cows may go, but the bull around here goes on forever. mmmmhhhhh

Well, here you guys go again.  Milkin' it.

Barney kept his bullet in his pocket....so he wouldn't shoot himself in the calf!

Barney's motorcycle was a Cowasaki....that's why it was so hard to steer!
I wonder if the horn and taillights worked?
 
 

uncle nat wrote on Jan 6^th, 2011 at 5:19pm:

imagineer wrote on Yesterday at 5:09pm: When plaster casts are made of the cows foot prints, I heard that was called a "MOOlage"..... Holy cow.....I was thinkin' the same thing!

It's called a Time Joke.  You laugh when you get time.  It appears you took your time. 50 years or so.  ::)

This may be a bunch of MOOlarkey....

It's udder nonsense!

I think I am going to go HIDE from these here jokes...

Tom Mix wrote on Jan 10^th, 2011 at 2:41pm:

I think I am going to go HIDE from these here jokes...

I guess you're mooving on to greener pastures!

How are you moovin' on? Surely not by hoofin' it

In Hawaii, they put grass skirts on the cows, and teach them the MOOla...................

Ever see a COWHIDE ? Look behind the "BARN"..

When Barney was looking for Luke Jensen and the cow, he set up a STEAK OUT...............

imagineer wrote on Jan 10^th, 2011 at 5:34pm:

When Barney was looking for Luke Jensen and the cow, he set up a STEAK OUT...............

Yessir....and when the cow case was closed it was considered a job WELL DONE.  It's RARE when that happens.  mmmmhh

imagineer wrote on Jan 10^th, 2011 at 5:34pm:

When Barney was looking for Luke Jensen and the cow, he set up a STEAK OUT...............

He asked Andy to help him but he busy workin' on another case! Somebody broke in the Porter's house, broke his rib and punched him in the eye!

rip wrote on Jan 10^th, 2011 at 6:15pm:

Yessir....and when the cow case was closed it was considered a job WELL DONE.It's RARE when that happens.mmmmhh

They must have come to a happy medium....well someone had to say it!

uncle nat wrote on Jan 10^th, 2011 at 6:51pm:

They must have come to a happy medium....well someone had to say it!

Well done, Nat.  You have a rare sense of humor.  No one can beef about that!

Bobby Fleet wrote on Jan 10^th, 2011 at 7:51pm:

Well done, Nat.You have a rare sense of humor.

I heard that!

  This thread is funny and so long. We could keep this up until the cows come home.

Anyone on the board can join in. Don't worry, you're not hornin' in

I knew a COWboy, his name was BEAU VINE....

If a short one won't do, you can always,
    Get a long little dogie...

We need to STEER this thread in the right direction.

I heard Barney and Thelma Lou went to the GRAND
to see a MOOvie............

Barney sat down on a coin, must of been a
   HIND QUARTER...

Rumor has it that Barney was in New York and went to a Strip club!

imagineer wrote on Jan 11^th, 2011 at 3:46pm:

Barney sat down on a coin, must of been a HIND QUARTER...

Whew.....it's a good thing it wasn't facin' the other way!

uncle nat wrote on Jan 12^th, 2011 at 6:20am:

Whew.....it's a good thing it wasn't facin' the other way!

Actually he was facing the udder way.   mmmhhhh

rip wrote on Jan 12^th, 2011 at 7:53am:

Actually he was facing the udder way. mmmhhhh

;D Good one. I laughed so hard I almost fell on my DAIRY -ere

Andy Paul Lawson wrote on Jan 12^th, 2011 at 9:33am:

;D Good one. I laughed so hard I almost fell on my DAIRY -ere

Wellsir....I have worked in a dairy and I can say for a fact that the ere there ain't very
good.  mmmmhhhh....double mmmmmhhhhhhhhhh    I will say that most of the fellers that worked at the dairy had a lot of pull.

rip wrote on Jan 12^th, 2011 at 11:47am:

I have worked in a dairy

No bull? I bet there were lots of yokes about milking a cow. But it was all just good nature Ribing

Rumor also has it that when Barney started to prime the courthouse walls before he painted them he pulled a muscle in his rib cage!

It has been so cold here in the day room for so long that I feel like a  big frozen clump hung in the manure spreader of life.   mmmmmhhhhh

Don't cows breathe "DAIRY AIR" ?

I believe that a cow that just gave birth is
"DE CALF ANATED"...........

I hope that this thread puts everyone in a good
  MOO d.............

Are Cow Pies like MOOn Pies ?.......

Someone needs to get a hose and wash Imagineer down.  I think all this cow talk is gettin to him.  I think they call it bovine compelsion.

imagineer wrote on Jan 12^th, 2011 at 5:48pm:

I believe that a cow that just gave birth is "DE CALF ANATED"...........

If the cow gave birth in a cow pusture would her milk be pastureized?

rip wrote on Jan 12^th, 2011 at 6:15pm:

Someone needs to get a hose and wash Imagineer down.

Don't mind him, he's just feeding us a bunch of moolarkey! :)

rip wrote on Jan 12^th, 2011 at 6:15pm:

Someone needs to get a hose and wash Imagineer down

Do it yourself.....don't be such a coward! ;D

uncle nat wrote on Jan 12^th, 2011 at 11:53pm:

Do it yourself.....don't be such a coward! ;D

Karl do this....Karl do that....go on Karl...we won't steer you wrong.  mmmmhhhh

I can’t decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow here for the hospital. One of the boys said we would look silly riding a cow. I told him I reckon we would look a sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!

rip wrote on Jan 13^th, 2011 at 9:00am:

I can’t decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow here for the hospital. One of the boys said we would look silly riding a cow. I told him I reckon we would look a sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!

Your mind seems to work in mysterious ways.....have you had it checked out lately! ;D
Put a bikes wheels on a cow and you'd have  cowspokes!! :D

uncle nat wrote on Jan 13^th, 2011 at 9:48am:

Your mind seems to work in mysterious ways.....have you had it checked out lately! ;D Put a bikes wheels on a cow and you'd have  cowspokes!! :D

I know this may be hard to believe but you are not the first person to tell me that. mmmhhh

imagineer wrote on Jan 12^th, 2011 at 5:48pm:

I believe that a cow that just gave birth is "DE CALF ANATED"...........

Her name is Sanka.

COW - A - SAKI

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.urlesque.com/media/2008/09/9.11cowasaki.jpg

Pierre:  Is that you on the COW-A-Saki?  If so, buddy, I hate to say it, but you're a few bricks shy of a load--your elevator don't go all the way to the top--you're several ants short of a picnic, etc. etc.

Anybody else got any of those sayins for that feller riding that corntraption?

He's a half bubble off center.
He dings when the rest of us dongs.

I’m glad cows don’t fly.  :o

Pierre wrote on Jan 13^th, 2011 at 1:26pm:

COW - A - SAKI http://www.blogcdn.com/www.urlesque.com/media/2008/09/9.11cowasaki.jpg

You know....there is something odd about that photo.  That cow is wearing socks.

This cow is ready for Luke Jensen's shoes.

Better keep this cow out of the sun, otherwise we might see LONDON BROIL.!

Barney looked so hard for the cow that he got a case of "RIB-EYE".

Aunt Bee was the only owner of the car she bought from Goober. I guess you can say that it was
   "HER-FORD"..........

Pierre wrote on Jan 13^th, 2011 at 1:26pm:

COW - A - SAKI

Does it run on milk? :-/

rip wrote on Jan 13^th, 2011 at 6:03pm:

That cow is wearing socks.

Of course...it's a cowasocki!  :)

uncle nat wrote on Jan 13^th, 2011 at 10:24pm:

Does it run on milk? :-/

Of course it runs on milk!  What did you think it ran on, COAL?

rip wrote on Jan 14^th, 2011 at 8:06am:

Of course it runs on milk!What did you think it ran on, COAL?

Good,n Karl  ;D...I smell milk!

Me and the boys in the day room was reading the latest edition of Learn-A-Month (best 15 cents you will ever spend) and saw an article about how you can make wool out of milk!
We tried it but so far all it has done is make our cow act sheepish.  mmmmhhhh

rip wrote on Jan 14^th, 2011 at 10:17am:

(best 15 cents you will ever spend)

Quarter!

How much is that WOOL-WORTH ?

Puddingtame wrote on Jan 14^th, 2011 at 10:21am:

Quarter!

Well...yeah, but the hospital picks up a dime of the cost for us.  They say it is therapetic for us to study educational stuff. 

rip wrote on Jan 14^th, 2011 at 2:14pm:

Well...yeah, but the hospital picks up a dime of the cost for us.

They use that for yer pills!

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.urlesque.com/media/2008/09/9.11cowasaki.jpg

Naw, naw, naw that is not my bike, nor is it me.  But is IS a bona fide motor bike.  Can't you see the leather upholstery? 

Pierre wrote on Jan 14^th, 2011 at 4:25pm:

the leather upholstery?

Genuine cowhide!

How many CP?  Cow Power!  You know it's not horse power.

Looks like the horse that Otis bought that gives milk!

Came across a farmer a couple of days ago. He had a cow called Hugh, I guess that was:
      HUGH HEFFER..... the cow didn't have a robe.

imagineer wrote on Jan 23^rd, 2011 at 12:42pm:

Came across a farmer a couple of days ago. He had a cow called Hugh, I guess that was:       HUGH HEFFER..... the cow didn't have a robe.

I heard the farmer asked his son why he sat around in the house all day....he told him why don't you go outside and play boy!

Hey Pierre, I just noticed that in your picture, the mootorcycle is wearing shoes! They'll never catch Abel and Baker if Charlie is on their backs!

Otis got his Elixer from a MOOnshiner...

This Thread Needs" More Cow Bell" !!
Maybe someone "Cud" find some. "Herd" the best ones
come From "Jersey" but Personally, I think it's just a load
of "Bull" !

I gotta feevah.....and the only prescription is more COWBELL!!!

Beware of the "COWnt" He may only give one wish.

imagineer wrote on Feb 3^rd, 2011 at 10:21pm:

He may only give one wish.

I wish this would end! :D Maybe Floyd will lay down the law son!

uncle nat wrote on Feb 3^rd, 2011 at 10:24pm:

imagineer wrote on Feb 3rd, 2011 at 10:21pm: He may only give one wish. I wish this would end! :D Maybe Floyd will lay down the law son!

"Law ? . . .THE LAW is a human institution" !

Don't know how I got a STEAK in this, but I'm I'm willing
to SHOULDER the burden, and CUT this thing off right here
before it gets BUTCHERed any more.

Pink Floyd wrote on Feb 4^th, 2011 at 9:32am:

I wish this would end! :D Maybe Floyd will lay down the law son! "Law ? . . .THE LAW is a human institution" ! Don't know how I got a STEAK in this, but I'm I'm willing to SHOULDER the burden, and CUT this thing off right here before it gets BUTCHERed any more.

Let me state once again for the record that cows may come and cows may go, but the bull around this place goes on forever.   :o

That's a very MOOving statement...

This topic occupies way too much of ya'lls time.

Keevy Hazelton wrote on Feb 4^th, 2011 at 5:55pm:

This topic occupies way too much of ya'lls time.

I know. . . . I've tried to look over the other threads on
this board without coming back to this one, but when
you skim over the topics titles on the page, this one
just doesn't seem to get Past'ure eyes without checking
back to see what's been posted.

(that one was too corny for even me, but I'm running low
on material here)

;D ;D ;D

Pink Floyd wrote on Feb 5^th, 2011 at 9:00am:

I know. . . . I've tried to look over the other threads on this board without coming back to this one, but when you skim over the topics titles on the page, this one just doesn't seem to get Past'ure eyes without checking back to see what's been posted. (that one was too corny for even me, but I'm running low on material here) ;D ;D ;D

Yes, I think it has pretty well been milked for all it is worth.  mmmmoommhhhh

rip wrote on Feb 5^th, 2011 at 9:15am:

Yes, I think it has pretty well been milked for all it is worth

It's been uttered before!

Did ya ever hear 'bout the cattle farmer who named his race horse Hoof Hearted?

uncle nat wrote on Feb 5^th, 2011 at 9:41am:

Did ya ever hear 'bout the cattle farmer who named his race horse Hoof Hearted?

I heard he was a Wenner at some track down in Mexico. Herd that through the grapevine,
but I think the guy was Ribbing me. !

Some folks like this thread, some don't.
    It's about "HALF and HALF"...........

It's your "CHOICE" to join in.........

Somedays everyone likes the threads, others only about 2%.

Andy Paul Lawson wrote on Feb 5^th, 2011 at 10:33am:

Somedays everyone likes the threads, others only about 2%.

Every notice how most of them wears a blue cap?

imagineer wrote on Feb 5^th, 2011 at 10:28am:

Some folks like this thread, some don't.     It's about "HALF and HALF"...........

Maybe they would like it more if it was condensed.

Pink Floyd wrote on Feb 5^th, 2011 at 10:02am:

I think the guy was Ribbing me. !

Spare me with the ribbing jokes!

I'll be back! I have to go comb my hair ,I have a cow- lick in front!

Andy Paul Lawson wrote on Feb 5^th, 2011 at 10:33am:

Somedays everyone likes the threads, others only about 2%.

And some are just cowards! :D

If I hit a cow would I be a cowpoke? :-/

uncle nat wrote on Feb 5^th, 2011 at 11:05am:

If I hit a cow would I be a cowpoke? :-/

It depends on how hard you hit...you might actually be a cow puncher.  Just be careful
that you don't cause them go get rawhide.   Time to head'um up and move'um out I guess.  Where is Rowdy Yates when we need him.

rip wrote on Feb 5^th, 2011 at 11:22am:

you might actually be a cow puncher

I don't have cow hands! :)

Hate to Horn in again, but thought I'd check back to see
if y'all had Milked this subject dry yet. . . . I would've been
back again yesterday, but I fell and bruised my Calf. Still
Hobbled by it some this morning.

Pink Floyd wrote on Feb 6^th, 2011 at 11:32am:

Hate to Horn in again, but thought I'd check back to see if y'all had Milked this subject dry yet. . . . I would've been back again yesterday, but I fell and bruised my Calf. Still Hobbled by it some this morning.

Maybe if you take it slow you can wean yourself off of it.

You can run but not hidefrom this thread.

Cow-a-bunga man.  Don't have a cow--but this thread is Grade A. 

Thelscuz wrote on Feb 9^th, 2011 at 9:56am:

Cow-a-bunga man.  Don't have a cow--but this thread is Grade A.

Very preceptive Thelscuz.  Apparently not much gets past your eyes.  mmmmhhh

rip wrote on Feb 9^th, 2011 at 12:58pm:

Apparently not much gets past your eyes.mmmmhhh

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

Keevy Hazelton wrote on Feb 9^th, 2011 at 1:36pm:

:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

well...the boys in the day room thought it was funny.   :-/

rip wrote on Feb 9^th, 2011 at 4:33pm:

well...the boys in the day room thought it was funny.

They can be easily amoosed!

this subject has been steer-ed in the wrong direction . :P

sam becker wrote on Feb 10^th, 2011 at 11:49am:

this subject has been steer-ed in the wrong direction . :P

 

Ah come on  Sam!  It would be-hoove you to join in and do the best you cud to help us.  It's been a long winter here in the feed lot.

Two cows are standing out in the pasture side by side one day, and one cow turns to the other and says "Aren't you worried about this Mad Cow disease that's going around?"   The other cow says "Of course not, I'm a helicopter!"

Briscoe Darling wrote on Feb 10^th, 2011 at 3:24pm:

Two cows are standing out in the pasture side by side one day, and one cow turns to the other and says "Aren't you worried about this Mad Cow disease that's going around?"   The other cow says "Of course not, I'm a helicopter!"

;D

Briscoe Darling wrote on Feb 10^th, 2011 at 3:24pm:

Two cows are standing out in the pasture side by side one day, and one cow turns to the other and says "Aren't you worried about this Mad Cow disease that's going around?"   The other cow says "Of course not, I'm a helicopter!"

Dairy goes again, Churning out Jokes like he's the Cream of the Crop.
Also saw him taking his next door neighbor's Cheeze, and
pretty soon, she won't have nothing left but 'er milk.

I HEARD a story about Aunt Bee's pickles.
The reason for the unusual taste was that she used real COWCUMBERS in her recipe............

Speaking of Aunt Bee's pickles, "the boys" were just COWards for not eating all them pickles in the first place.  It just MOOves me to think how hard Aunt Bee worked to make them.

It would beHOOFe her to say she ain't gonna make no more.  BUTTER sense of duty just makes her keep on tryin.  You can't buy pickles like Aunt Bee's reTAIL.  CUD ya'll imagine how slow they'd sell? 

I feel better now.  For a few days there I was suffering from bovine withdrawal.  mmmmhhhh

rip wrote on Feb 24^th, 2011 at 5:28pm:

I feel better now.  For a few days there I was suffering from bovine withdrawal.  mmmmhhhh

That's better than mad cow disease! :)

Is a cows wallet made out of COWhide ?

imagineer wrote on Apr 6^th, 2011 at 8:54pm:

Is a cows wallet made out of COWhide ?

Never seen a cow with a wallet... they must hide them!

I heard that Aunt Bee's Chinese Restaurant served "MOO Goo Gai Pan"..............

Mayberry Union High.... it could also
be.............MU High.......it's almost a cow noise...

HAAA!  Great one, Imagineer.

Bet you CUDn't come up with another one that good.  Just give it a LICK and a promise and see what you can do.  We'll wait TAIL we hear from you. 

This is a very MOOving topic. I'm UTTERly enthralled.

Thanks, to the new MOOderator.......