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The counties bill to Regis (Read 2750 times)
Apr 12th, 2008 at 11:26am

Mr Wheeler   Offline
no where

 
Dear Regis, It is our regret that we have to inform you of a bill that is currently being sent to you in the amount of 264.74, this amount is the exact cost that it will take to clean our water supply after you have taken your bath, whether it is a weekly, monthly, or even yearly ritual that you go through has no bearing on the amount, of course the more baths you take the more bills you will get.
Below please find a diagram drawn by Mr Sprague the City Clerk as evidence of the pollution you are spewing after each and every bath.
In the future we hope you might hose yourself off before using the natural streams lakes or county water supply. Please send you payment to the town clerk of the county of Mayberry.

Thank you and have a good day
Town Council of Mayberry

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Reply #1 - Apr 12th, 2008 at 11:35am
Regis  

 
FRAUD!  I charge FRAUD!  This is Wheeler's doing, NOT the town of Mayberry!  How do I know?  Just look whose picture is beside the "bill" !  It's as plain as the softness of Wheeler's hands!
     
 
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Reply #2 - Apr 12th, 2008 at 11:42am

Mr Wheeler   Offline
no where

 
Quote:
FRAUD!  I charge FRAUD!  This is Wheeler's doing, NOT the town of Mayberry!  How do I know?  Just look whose picture is beside the "bill" !  It's as plain as the softness of Wheeler's hands!
     

Now Now Regis, I just a messenger hired to relate all important information between the council and yourself. I will try to ask them if they will take payments of 25% per month with standard 1.5% interest, If thats suitable with you of course, if not then Pay it in full within 30 days of this date.
 
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Reply #3 - Apr 12th, 2008 at 12:20pm

Briscoe Darling   Offline
"You arguin' with me?"
Ruffton, NC

 
Mr Wheeler wrote on Apr 12th, 2008 at 11:26am:
Dear Regis, It is our regret that we have to inform you of a bill that is currently being sent to you in the amount of 264.74, this amount is the exact cost that it will take to clean our water supply after you have taken your bath, whether it is a weekly, monthly, or even yearly ritual that you go through has no bearing on the amount, of course the more baths you take the more bills you will get.
Below please find a diagram drawn by Mr Sprague the City Clerk as evidence of the pollution you are spewing after each and every bath.
In the future we hope you might hose yourself off before using the natural streams lakes or county water supply. Please send you payment to the town clerk of the county of Mayberry.

Thank you and have a good day
Town Council of Mayberry

[img]



Wheeler, I don't see how you can bill the county for YOUR kitchen sink leaking into Myers Lake, killing the fish!!!   Angry   Your picture there is EVIDENCE that WILL be used in Mayor's Court to try and convict you of purposely killing the fish in Myers Lake, including Ol' Sam!!!

You're not even a member of the Town Council of Mayberry, therefore you are WAY out of place to falsely accuse and TRY to bill a citizen of Mayberry for YOUR crime!!!   Angry
 

"Thought about killin' him, kinda hated to go that far"
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Reply #4 - Apr 12th, 2008 at 1:13pm

Seth Taylor   Offline
SETH TAYLOR, founder of
Mayberry
HOKES BLUFF. ALABAMA

 
Don't make me get physical with ya, but I will if'n you don't leave Regis alone, you old softed thing you!  Cheesy
 

Mayberry was almost called Taylortown!
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Reply #5 - Apr 12th, 2008 at 2:48pm

Mr Wheeler   Offline
no where

 
Briscoe Darling wrote on Apr 12th, 2008 at 12:20pm:
Wheeler, I don't see how you can bill the county for YOUR kitchen sink leaking into Myers Lake, killing the fish!!!   Angry   Your picture there is EVIDENCE that WILL be used in Mayor's Court to try and convict you of purposely killing the fish in Myers Lake, including Ol' Sam!!!

You're not even a member of the Town Council of Mayberry, therefore you are WAY out of place to falsely accuse and TRY to bill a citizen of Mayberry for YOUR crime!!!   Angry

That reminds me, I need to tell the town council of that foul order comming out of your cabin,  Huh.....there are laws for that sort of pollution.....Here is a picture of the cloud over your cabin....be back with your bill Mr Briscoe in a bit....

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Reply #6 - Apr 12th, 2008 at 2:51pm

Mr Wheeler   Offline
no where

 
Seth Taylor wrote on Apr 12th, 2008 at 1:13pm:
Don't make me get physical with ya, but I will if'n you don't leave Regis alone, you old softed thing you!  Cheesy

Watch it Seth, I might just tip you over when I walk by ya.  Grin
 
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Reply #7 - Apr 12th, 2008 at 2:53pm

Selfishgiraffe   Offline
Giraffes sure are selfish!
Quincy

 
I would train some pigeons to take care of him.  That'll put the fear of God into him!
Grin
 

We defy the Mafia!
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Reply #8 - Apr 12th, 2008 at 2:59pm
Regis  

 
Keep it up Wheeler and they is gonna have to hire people to come to your funeral!  Angry


As far as owing the county....well...they can just go ahead and arrest me cause I ain't paying a dime.  Lets see....they lock me up in a warm place where I get three square meals a day.  If I get sick they have to send me to the doctor and they pay for it.  If I have to stay long enough they give me clothes to wear.  They might even teach me a trade.  Sure beats what I got now!  No....I don't think I'm gonna pay that bill.  Just tell the sheriff to come on any time and I'll go peaceful like.  Wink
 
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Reply #9 - Apr 12th, 2008 at 3:02pm

Mr Wheeler   Offline
no where

 
Quote:
Keep it up Wheeler and they is gonna have to hire people to come to your funeral!  Angry


As far as owing the county....well...they can just go ahead and arrest me cause I ain't paying a dime.  Lets see....they lock me up in a warm place where I get three square meals a day.  If I get sick they have to send me to the doctor and they pay for it.  If I have to stay long enough they give me clothes to wear.  They might even teach me a trade.  Sure beats what I got now!  No....I don't think I'm gonna pay that bill.  Just tell the sheriff to come on any time and I'll go peaceful like.  Wink

Geez forget it..... Grin
 
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Reply #10 - Apr 12th, 2008 at 3:06pm
Regis  

 
Mr Wheeler wrote on Apr 12th, 2008 at 3:02pm:
Geez forget it..... Grin


No Sir!  A deal is a deal. Tell the sheriff I'll be waitin' at the wide spot at the bottom of Turner's grade.

About that funeral thing.  Don't worry.  I'll come for free.  I might even say a few things about you if you like.  Cry

 
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Reply #11 - Apr 12th, 2008 at 3:14pm

Mr Wheeler   Offline
no where

 
Quote:

No Sir!  A deal is a deal. Tell the sheriff I'll be waitin' at the wide spot at the bottom of Turner's grade.

About that funeral thing.  Don't worry.  I'll come for free.  I might even say a few things about you if you like.  Cry


Dont make me call my Cavalry on ya, you little hermit you.  Angry
 
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Reply #12 - Apr 12th, 2008 at 3:14pm

Seth Taylor   Offline
SETH TAYLOR, founder of
Mayberry
HOKES BLUFF. ALABAMA

 
Quote:

 I might even say a few things about you if you like.  Cry



I don't think he would want to lie, Regis! Smiley
 

Mayberry was almost called Taylortown!
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Reply #13 - Apr 12th, 2008 at 3:18pm

Mr Wheeler   Offline
no where

 
Mr Wheeler wrote on Apr 12th, 2008 at 2:51pm:
Watch it Seth, I might just tip you over when I walk by ya.  Grin


I will just repeat this for ya rock head....
 
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Reply #14 - Apr 12th, 2008 at 3:32pm

Briscoe Darling   Offline
"You arguin' with me?"
Ruffton, NC

 
Mr Wheeler wrote on Apr 12th, 2008 at 2:48pm:
That reminds me, I need to tell the town council of that foul order comming out of your cabin,  Huh.....there are laws for that sort of pollution.....Here is a picture of the cloud over your cabin....be back with your bill Mr Briscoe in a bit....

[img]




That "picture" looks more like a Topo map or a rare Monet painting! 

The cloud over our cabin is from Jebbin a burnin' the Hoot Owl Pie!!!   Angry   Thaty was our last Hoot Owl too!!!   Angry   Charlene and Dud are on vacation and I guess we'll have to go without supper tonight.  Sad   NO, I don't want one of yer stinkin' onions either!!!   Grin
 

"Thought about killin' him, kinda hated to go that far"
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