March 21, 2011 - Msg 83039: Oops, that should be "BARE feet", not "BEAR feet"! haha

Boo

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83040: Oh man, I swept with that? Now you all are going to have to go back to archives to read my story.

Boo

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83041: And I did exactly that - went back and read it, I mean. Wow, Boo, you should be a writer! You did a great job on that. Well, since I seem to be the only one around right now, I guess I'll pick up the ball and run with it. Or hobble, maybe, but I'll try.

Caroline stands, broom in hand, and stares at Andy for just a beat or two, then says, "Well, hello! I met your Aunt Bee, and she was kind enough to volunteer your services, to get these curtains hung. I hope you don't mind, because I can really use the help. I'm not very fond of standing on ladders, and these front windows are pretty high."

"I'm happy to be able to help, uh - Caroline, isn't it?"

"Yes. Caroline - Caroline Marsh."

"So, how do you like Mayberry so far? Everybody treatin' you nice?"

"Oh yes! Such a lovely little town, and everyone has been so friendly. Your aunt made me feel right at home. She reminds me of my mom. I lost her four years ago, and still miss her so much. I think Aunt Bee will really help me get over that. Did she tell you she invited me and my son to dinner tonight? I hope you don't mind."

"Mind? No, of course not. We'll be right glad to have you. I'm glad Opie is gonna have a friend right next door. He has lots of friends, but there's nothing like a good buddy right next door, kinda close-like. They'll find plenty to get into, I'll bet."

"Oh, I think I can guarantee that! Johnny has been so lonely these past two years since his daddy died. They were very close, and did a lot of things together - camping, fishing, stuff like that. My husband was a preacher, and the church's congregation was mostly older people, so there weren't a lot of kids. There were a couple of little girls on our street, but not many boys Johnny's age. He's going to have a great time with Opie so close by. Does Opie like to fish?"

"Oh yeah! He and I go fishing all the time. There's a great fishing spot down at Myers' Lake, and a couple of other places, too. Opie goes on his own pretty often now that he's a little older, and I know he'd love for Johnny to go too. Aunt Bee packs a mean lunch - wouldn't surprise me if they'd just make a day of it now and then. Now, where's them curtains you want hung?"

NEXT....

Blessings, friends! --Romeena

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83042: Good, Ro!! You captured Andy real well. It was fun to read! I can't wait to hear what happens next. :-)

Boo

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83043: By the way, I named her "Caroline" in honor of our own Millie.

Boo

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83044: Good Monday morning porch family, hope everyone is AOK today, Haven't been by for a few days but thought I should check in for a check point chickie today.

Beth was on Spring Break last week so I took her and her close friend to Pigeon Forge for a few days. We left on Thursday and came back yesterday. 2 of my good friends drove down on Friday for a day of shopping and just girl time. We had a great time and the girls seemed to enjoy them selves as well.

Its back to work now though :(.

Loved your stories Boo and Romeena. Both of you are great story tellers.

I need a remedy for a nasty fever blister on my bottom lip. I have not had one in a very long time but came home with one yesterday and it is going to be a doozy. not sure what triggered it but I hate having them, they are painful and very ugly. It always comes up in the same exact place. Anybody got any suggestions. I have carmex and bought some abbreva ($15 for a tiny tube). Guess I will just have to wait it out but thought I'd see if anybody out there had any other suggestions.

Better get back to work. lots of catching up to do. Lunch will be at The Diner.

Prayers and blessings to all.

Big Maude

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83045: Good morning, porch! Boo, great name choice - Caroline. Would you believe I still have Millie's email address in my address book? I just can't bring myself to delete it. Silly, I guess, but that's how it is.

Asa, how wonderful! Another little bundle of sweetness for your family. I know you're excited, and looking forward to it. Keep us updated now, you hear? I'm sorry you're feeling poorly - hope everything clears up soon and you're back to your fun-lovin' self.

Did I mention that I had switched my phone service over to Vonage? I got tired of paying $80 to Verizon every month, and Vonage has a basic service that's just $10, so I switched over. They sent me the device and I installed it myself. Phone works for both incoming and outgoing, and I thought all was fine. Then the next day (yesterday) I realized none of the other phones in the house are working! Only the desk phone, which is connected directly to the computer, is working. Uh-oh - not good. Fortunately, I had just had my security system switched over to use a cellular number, so it's not dependent on the house line. If I hadn't done that, it wouldn't be working either. Well, anyway, I went to the Vonage website and learned that there's some additional work that has to be done. I can either do it myself or have their installer come out. It involves going into the phone box on the back of the house and isolating some wires, disconnecting the lines that come from the pole, so that any surges from those lines don't enter my wiring system. Hmmm. That little gray box is high on the wall, and behind some shrubbery. I'm not fond of ladders. So, I opted to have a Vonage installer come and do it, and I'd just pay for it. Well, lucky me! It's usually $99 (ouch!), but they're running a special right now, for $20. How 'bout that? God does look out for me, even in the little things.

It's cloudy and gray here today. If it doesn't rain, it's going to miss a very good chance. Oh, one of my favorite irises has opened. It's called "Rock Star" and it's just gorgeous. The falls (the lower petals) are creamy in the middle with russet-colored freckles and a russet band around the edges. The standards (upright, upper petals) are the russet color. Russet is the closest word I can find to describe the color. It's reddish, but has overtones of purple in it as well. See it here: http://tinyurl.com/4bxs5o4 Just beautiful! Also, it's a rebloomer, so I'll see it again in the fall. It was a new planting, this is the first time it's bloomed. The parent plant is in another part of the yard- this one was a pup from that one. The parent hasn't bloomed yet, but it will. Iris - such pretty things, and the range of colors is expanding all the time.

Well, guess I'd better try to get a few chores done around here. You do get lazy when you have no one to answer to, I guess. Blessings, friends! --Romeena

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83046: Thanks, Maude. I can't give you any advice on the fever blister. They just have to run their course. The doc can sometimes prescribe meds to speed up the process but I think if they aren't started within the first day that you feel one coming on, it may not help much. Good luck. See ya at the diner for lunch...I'm not havin' the special, though (it's corned beef and cabbage..yuck).

Ro, I am trying to get the laundry caught up today and feel like crawling back into bed after getting up so early this morning. Spring break was nice but its hard to get back into the routine. I have already made my to-do list today and it is way too long.

Boo

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83047: MAUDE - VICKS! (:

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83048:
Good day all! Just a quick hello.
MDC

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83049: Thanks Boo, Ro, and John. We are very excited to see the family grow. But boy I sure do wish life would slow down a tad. Sometimes I feel like I'm on a roller coaster with no brakes. They say life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer to the end you get, the faster it goes. I hope I ain't near the end yet, but dang sure is speeding along!

Boo, You gave me the best belly laugh I've had in months. As I read your story and your describing Caroline, abd then got to the part of her "bear feet", I don't know why but I lost it. In fact I was going to continue the story with something along the lines like this. Andy, noticing the beauty of this new neighbor, was disturbed about one feature though. Looking her deeply in the eyes, he told her "Carloine, if you and me are going to have any kind of relationship, you need to go see the manacurist Floyd has on his staff and see if she can do something with your feet! I cain't hardly stand to look at em!" hee hee hee. But your story was to sweet, and Ro's addition to it was also to sweet for me to come along and mess it up like that. So I will try to get on later and see if I can add something worthwhile to it and od it justice.

Asa

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83050: oops. Do it justice! sheesh

Asa

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83051: Oh, Asa, you could have added some humor to the story..I would have loved it! Glad I gave you a belly laugh (it's good for what ails ya). Please do come back and add some to the story, though. :-)

Boo

I know what you mean about the toilet paper roll! Scares me.

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83052:
OK, I'll give it a shot...

"Well Caroline, I think that just about does it for the curtains. It was nice of the previous owners to leave the rods in place, that really halped."
You know, you kinda remind me of a lady who lived here in Mayberry awhile back. Her name was Peggy McMillian. She was our county nurse while she was here, but then her papa took sick sudden-like and passed away shortly afterwards up in Raleigh, and we all lost touch with her. Barney, that's my deputy, well he told me that he heard that she ran off with some guy named Don, but, er, THAT'S another story."

"I have done some nursing in the past, and I did hear that the county nurse position here may be opening up again soon."

NEXT...

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83053:
MDC

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83054: Andy considers her question some, before answering.
"Caroline, we go through County Nurses here like a boy wearing sandpaper underwear goes through britches. We have had two Nurse Mary's, Peg McMillan, Irene whats her name that dated Howard. To be honest with you a County Nurse here in Mayberry has the life span of a nat. How about you consider some other line of work?"
Caroline, both amazed and touched by Andy's concern for her longevity asks "well what do you think I should do Andy?"
Andy, looking deep into her amazingly clear and warm blue eyes was about to respond to her when the doorbell rings.
Caroline, frustrated by the interruption, goes to the door and opens it. There she is met with the glassy eyed stare from Helen Crump!

Asa

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83055:
Hello porch family.

And the story continues...lol Hey you guys should have been writers for TAGS. It's like we're getting new episodes:)

Love and prayers!
-REV.

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83056: Bwa-Ha-Ha!! I knew you guys wouldn't let me down...I laughed so hard I cried. Asa, you are much funnier then the original TAGS writers! OMGosh, how funny about the county nurses! I've really gotta have more. Please keep writing, guys.

REV, that is kind of what we were going for...new TAGS episodes and boy, this one is pretty funny.

Boo

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83057: I guess i will go ahead and add a bit more to the story since we don't have any formal "rules" here...

Continued from above: (In the last addition to the story Caroline has just asked Andy, "Well, what do you think I should do, Andy?", and then glassy-eye Helen shows up...

Andy says under his breath, "I think you should run and keep on runnin'"...

"May I help you?", Caroline asks Helen sweetly.

Boo




March 21, 2011 - Msg 83058: Ok, Ro (or someone), maybe you can come up with a good scene in which Helen comes undone, and Andy finally stands up to her.

Boo

March 21, 2011 - Msg 83059: Well, I guess I can get things started in that direction..

Helen looks past Caroline and sees Andy standing behind her. She glares at Andy with steely eyes and with clenched teeth spits out the words, "Andy, did you forget that you were going to drive me to Mt. Pilot for my dentist's appointment?!"

Stepping forward and gesturing toward Caroline, Andy says, "Uh,...Helen, this is our new neighbor Caroline Marsh. She and her little boy have moved here from Silar City."

"That's nice," snapped Helen, never bothering to so much as look in Caroline's direction.

"Uh-oh," whispered Caroline. "Well, would you like to come in?"

"No I would NOT, thank you. Andy are you coming?!"

Andy could feel his face burning from the awkwardness of the moment and his first thought was to excuse himself and give in to Helen's demands but he stopped just outside the front door...Helen's behavior stood in stark contrast to the serene, unruffled demeanor of Caroline Marsh and suddenly he knew what he needed to do. That was the day he could finally see things as they really were and there was no going back.

He simply said, "No".

Helen spun on her high heels, glaring at Andy, "What did you say?".

"I said 'no'...N-O. Clear enough for you?"

"How dare you speak to me that way. You promise to take me to Mt. Pilot and I find you here with this woman! Andy you come with me right now or it's over!"

"Helen, I am sorry that I forgot about your appointment in Mt. Pilot, but you had not spoken to me in four days. Forgetting was my only crime. I can't tolerate your jealous, controlling nature any longer" (by this time, Caroline has excused herself and has gone into the house).

"My jealous and controlling nature?! Andy, you're the one.."

Andy interrupts her, "Helen, I have all but begged you to go with me to talk to someone about our relationship but you refuse. I can't live like this."

"Well, you don't HAVE to!" screeches Helen as she storms off down the street, heels clacking on the concrete sidewalk.. "And DON'T bother to call to apologize!" she shouts over her shoulder.

Andy watches as he form dissappears around the nearest corner. He feels a sense of relief and hurt but he knows he has done the right thing in standing up to Helen. He turns to knock at Caroline's door just as she is opening it.

"Andy, I'm sorry. I hope I didn't cause any trouble for you."

"How could you? Just by being beautiful?" He smiles at Caroline and Caroline smiles shyly.

"Come on in and have some coffee with me? I just put on a pot and we can talk."

Andy follows her into the bright little kitchen with it's ruffled curtains and they sit at a table by a window overlooking the backyard. Opie and Johnny are playing "Cops and Robbers" in the yard and Opie appears to be handcuffed to a tree.

NEXT

Boo

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83060:
Night porch family. Gonna be in the mid 80s here tomorrow. Loving it:)

Breakfast at the diner in the morning. I'll get there early and save a table.
Prayers......
-REV.

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83061:
Quietly Andy says under his breath, "I never did like those late afternoon dental appointments anyways."
"Pardon me,Andy, did you say something?" asks Caroline.
"Oh no, just thankin' to myself's all.
Ah, we better get to my house, so as we aren't late for that supper."
Andy yells out the window "Opie, time to wash up for supper, and give barney those handcuffs back! Young' uns, young 'uns, young 'uns!" Both Andy and Caroline smile.
"OK pa," Opie blurts back. "Come on Johnny."

Once all have entered the Taylor house, the aroma of Bee's fried chicken dominates the conversation. Everyone takes their seats and
Andy offers the fried chicken to Caroline.
"Andy," says Aunt Bee, "I saw Helen stomp by the house a bit ago, and I thought she was saying 'Andrew Taylor!'"
"Oh, it was nothin' Aunt Bee, but I'll tell you one thing,
I sure don't believe runnin' with her any more. I believe I got some me some real thinkin' to do. But enough of that fer now, let's dig into this fine supper! Mmmmm, don't this look go-o-o-od?"

MDC


March 22, 2011 - Msg 83062:
Asa- you had me ROTFL as well! Funny stuff.
Boo- you are on a roll too!
Rev- Did you add the finishes to the album?
Well, night all, God bless.
MDC


March 22, 2011 - Msg 83063: Uh-oh...Andy's not "runnin' with" Helen anymore. How I have waited for this day! ;-) hehe I liked the thing about Barney's handcuffs, MDC...I can just picture him back at the courthouse, fretting and looking high and low for his handcuffs. Oh, hey, maybe I will put in a few lines about that very thing:

(Meanwhile back at the courthouse):
Barney is runnining around in his usual neurotic fashion, looking for his handcuffs:
"Otis, you seen my handcuffs around here anywhere? I had 'em attached to my belt and now they're gone...just don't make sense. I've look everywhere. A good lawman should always have all of his required law enforcement equipment on him. (Frustrated) I just wanna be up to code!"

Otis is still in his cot but raises his head, "No Barney, I haven't seen your handcuffs.... Maybe it was....THE COUNT!" (Otis' head falls back on his pillow).

"Ha, ha..very funny, Otis, why don't you get yourself an act and do comedy at every jail in the county?"

NEXT

Boo

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83064: MDC, forgot to tell you that when I was writing the first "installment" of the story, I thought about saying that Caroline's deceased husband's name was "Don" ("wouldn't you know his name would be Don"), but I forgot. I'm glad you thought of it.

Boo

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83065: Thanks MDC. Your additions are great also.
The saga continues....
After dinner, Andy, Aunt Bee and Caroline retire to the front porch to enjoy the cool evening air. Now with a full stomach, and having some time to cool down a bit, Andy is bothered about the earlier confrontation he had with Helen. He and Helen had been running together now for some time. And although they had had their fair share of arguments, they had also enjoyed plenty of warm and affectionate times together. Andy smiled to himself as he remembered the time he had been at Helens, watching some television, when they heard Barney and Goober hollerin at each other. Andy remembers jumping up and running to the window to find the two huddled down. He later learned of Barney's plan to bring Goober over and let him see how real courtin is done. But his smile slowly dissolved as he also remembered how angry Helen had gotten at him, like it was somehow his fault. In fact he remembered the next day installing "blackout curtains" at Helens house all the time she was harping at him about the previous evenings event. He contrasted that with this afternoon, hanging curtains at Carolines house, while she was softly singing and still putting things away from the move.
Just as Andy is about to grab his guitar and do a little strumming, up pops Barney, wearing his old Salt and Pepper. Barney looks a bit perplexed as he comes into the scene.
ANDY: "Well hay Barney, what brings you out here tonight? Have you met my new neighbor? Caroline, this is my Deputy, and good friend Barney Fife. Barney, this is Caroline Marsh. She just bought the Beasley place next door."
Barney offers an awkard hello to Caroline, and then turning slightly to Andy whispers "Ang, can I see you a minute in private?"

Asa

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83066: Ooooo...this is gettin' good, Asa...can't wait to hear what Barney has to say to Andy.

Boo

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83067: I hate this waiting...it's kinda like commercials!

Boo

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83068:
Asa, you got a plot twist in mind or are you leaving it open for us extemporaneous types?
It rained here all day yesterday. 58 for a high.
I think it's headed for Texas!
And now we return to "Andy Ditches helen"...
Prayers,
MDC


March 22, 2011 - Msg 83069: "Ang?" Is that sort of like "reveng?" lol

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83070: I hope we get some rain, MDC, but I am way down here in the southern part and it might not make it this far. We need rain, but I hate to deal with mosquitos. My two brothers are coming from California for a visit this week and we are having a family bar-b-que here so I would love for the weather to be nice for that.

Lots to do...better go.

Why don't you add to the story, MDC?

Boo

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83071: I LOVE this story- mind if I jump in?

" Ang, can I see you a minute in private?" So Andy walks out onto the front porch, closing the screen door softly behind him.
" Barn, Why are you in your salt & pepper? Going someplace? Got yourself a date with Juanita, I reckon!"
Barney stands there, hat in hand, hemming & hawing before finally clearing his throat in that nervous way he has, and then says...
"Well, you see Ang, it's like this. I was down at the Courthouse when Helen comes stormin' in, just stormed right in there like a wild tornado. She was carrying on something awful! Something about you, a dentist appointment and some woman.What's going on, Ang? What woman? You can level with me,buddy. I'm your trusted Deputy."
Andy looked at Barney and said, "Hold on a minute, Barn. First of all, there ain't nothin' going on with no woman-'cept for Helen, that is. She got all fiery mad 'cause I forgot all about promising to drive her over to Mt. Pilot for a dentist appointment. She came at me earlier today,just a carrying on! I'll tell ya what- I'm plumb near sick of Helen's mess! Now, get back to what you come here to tell me, so's I can get back to my company."
" Company? You got company? Who is it? It's that woman, ain't it?! See, I KNEW there was a woman! See, Helen come over to the Courthouse,and boy, was she mad!" Barney's voice trailed off as he craned his neck and tried to peer past Andy through the screen door.

Next!

*******************
possum under a rock

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83072:
Thank goodness Caroline and Aunt Bee had gone inside to sample Bee's apple pie. Opie and Johnny had come in from the backyard where they had been playing with Blackie, and both of them were also having a slice.
Meanwhile back on the porch:
"Now look Barn," Andy blurts back, "you might as well know that helen and i are just about done."
I been thinking about it all thru supper, and i gotta tell ya that i'm just about sick to death of her rages. Sure, we've had some good times, like when we went exploring those old caves..."

"But Andy, you got trapped in there!"

"Yeah well... well, what about you? Look at you!You must be heading out to Morelli's."

"Yeah, I am, and with Juanita, but don't you go tellin Thelma Lou."

_"I won't, I won't, now go have a good time."
______
MDC

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83073: Good morning, porch! Boo, you surely had a good idea with this story-line thing. Fun! I have a couple of ideas in mind, but I have the feeling that others do too, things are sorta "set up" for it, so I'm going to hush and let others do the talking for a change, at least on that subject.

That rain you mentioned, MDC, - it looks like we might get it. It's cloudy and windy out there, though it's warm and pleasant. Sure feels like rain. I wish it would really give us a good soaking. I'm trying to water as little as possible through March. Our city water board uses the average water consumption of the first three months of the year to set the sewer charges for the rest of the year. Use a lot of water in the first three months, and you pay high sewer charges all year. Once I learned about that, and managed the water use carefully, my sewer charges dropped to about a third of what I'd been paying, and it was a significant saving - nearly $30 a month. The water, of course, is charged based on consumption at any time. Of course I still have to keep things watered adequately, and it really helps if we have some rain. However, I did learn that some of the time I was watering more than I needed to, and I'm trying to be more responsible about that.

Well, my son got my new TV hooked up, and omigosh! It's like you could just step into the picture. There is such depth, and the picture is so crisp and clear it's just hard to believe. I think I'm really going to enjoy this thing. We don't have the surround sound hooked up yet - he needs a different cable, I think - and get this. He actually said I needed "bigger wires." Seriously! The cable we had been using was a cheapie, a flimsy little thing, and he showed me what it should have been. So, I guess we'll get bigger wires. Anyway, the picture is phenomenal, and when the surround sound is working, it's going to be like a theater. Since I never go out to a movie - maaaaaybe once a year - I guess this is my entertainment indulgence.

I wish you could see the birds in the birdbaths right now. It's hard to count them, but I'll bet there are at least fifteen in one little birdbath alone. There are four birdbaths back there, and they're all full. It looks like the beaches at Coney Island. They're so funny! They all get in at once, jostle each other around, put their faces in the water and splash, then squat their tails into the water and splash, then they all fly off at once and go sit on a power line and shake and fluff until they're dry. Funny little things!

Well, gotta run. Have to go by the bank, then to Best Buy for those "bigger wires", as David and his family are coming over Friday night for dinner and he'll finish the TV up then. Blessings, all! --Romeena

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83074: Wow! The plot thickens! --Romeena

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83075: Thanks, Ro. Asa and I both had the same idea I just got here first with it. :-)

Good, Possum..you really pegged Barney and his way of acting and MDC, you are really good at Andy!

You sure you don't want to chime in again, Romeena? Seems we have so few visitors on the porch lately we might be waiting awhile. Very funny about the "bigger wires"! haha..glad you are enjoying the new TV.

Boo

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83076: Hey Boo. I was just trying to sound like Barney when I was saying that I was just gonna suggest the same thing, you know how he did in the episode when Andy comes up with the idea for honoring someone with the key to the city. This story telling thing was your idea, and I think it's great/
And Ro, I have no direction I'm going with any of it. It's just kind of fun to throw a few lines in there and then see who does what next with it. So please, jump in and move the story along. I'm finding this to be great fun and at the same time finding all 0of you to be quite the writers.

Asa


March 22, 2011 - Msg 83077:
Hello porch family.....86 here today but the pollen is falling. I'll get the blower out and clean off the porch and rockers. Don't want our ladies getting their clothes all yellow.

MDC...Getting close to the finishing touches on the cd. Got the picture done yesterday. It's getting there!

Check back a little later.
Love and prayers!
-REV.

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83078: Scene is the next day and, as usual, Andy is sitting at the desk and copying some information out of a thick book. The courthouse door opens and Barney come through it smoothly with a wry and smug look on his face. Andy peers up and grins back at Barn.
ANDY: "Well Tiger? I know that grin isnt from dinner at the diner last night"
BARNEY (in his soft but wry/confident voice): "Well Ange, I'll tell ya... (Barney cruises over to this chair and slides up next to Andy at the side of the desk)I wooed her, I gave the whole Fife charm and had her melting in her chair like butter on a hot roll!"
ANDY:(straightens up in chair) "Oh, c'mooooooonn"
BARNEY: "I'm telling you, Ange, she was putty in my hands, she was just captivated by my words and (sniffs) well....I had a secret weapon"
ANDY: (rolls his eyes and looks at Barney with a "uh-huh" kind of look) "What was your secret weapon?"
BARNEY: "Well...tell you the truth...I had a little pocket book of poems at home and I stayed up til' prit near eleven o'clock on Friday reading it, picking out lines and then just (Barney rolls back in chair, tips his officer hat over his eyebrows) hit her with a few random, carefully placed lines through the dinner"
ANDY: "THAT'S your secret weapon?"
BARNEY: "Oh yeah, listen Ange, (Barney sternly) you have to set the mood right out of the gate. You have to establish yourself to be swave and gentlemanly and hook the fish right from the get go!"
ANDY: "Oh, you mean like that time I come in and you were doing rooster calls at her? Tell me, Barn...what page as the rooster calls on?" (Andy breaks into laughter)
BARNEY: (angry) "Alright...alright. You know I try to talk to ya and..."
ANDY: "Ah Barn...I was just pickin' at ya'!"
BARNEY: "Go ahead. Make jokes again. (Barney stands up and grips his gun belt)

About this time, Opie comes in and heads for the desk.
OPIE: "Hi Pa, Hi Barney"
ANDY: Well hey, Ope. I thought you and Johnnie were at the lake fishin?"
OPIE: "Well...I needed to talk to you, Pa. Somethin's wrong with Johnnie and his mother."
ANDY: "Sit down here and tell me what's wrong!"
OPIE: "Well....I was sitting on their front porch waitin' for Johnnie and I accidently heard something.
ANDY: "You werent listenin' in were ya' Ope?!"
OPIE: "Well...no, Pa...I just heard it because they had their windows open and you could hear everything. I just happened to be sitting there and heard it."
ANDY: "Ok...what happened?"
OPIE: "Johnnie's mom was talking on the phone and she was crying. She told someone that she missed her husband a lot, but she feels that she is falling for this wonderful sheriff here in Mayberry and she feels mixed up."
Andy sits back in his chair. Barney gets a very concerned look on his face,
OPIE: "She sounded real upset, Pa. And...well...I just thought you should know."
ANDY: "Listen Opie, I appreciate you tell in' me this. I really do. But next time you are within ear shot of a private talk, you see if you cant find somewhere else to go and do."
OPIE: "I'm sorry, Pa. I hope I didnt make ya' mad"
ANDY: "No, son...now why dont you go out and go fishin' like you were gonna do."
OPIE: "Ok, Pa. Bye Barney!"
Barney waves at Opie and turns right at Andy with a stern and concerned look on his face.
ANDY: "Mmmm Mm! Barney....I am in a peck of trouble. Things have went way yonder far!"
BARNEY: "Well, I'll tell you this for your own good! You need to get things all clear with Helen! And you need to make yourSELF clear with Caroline. You need to nip this now and nip it in the bud!"
ANDY: "Barney.....I agree with ya'! I got some thinking to do. Watch things for just a bit will ya'?" (Andy gets up starts towards the doors)
BARNEY: "Sure, Ange. (Andy walks out the doors and Barney is still talking to Andy as Andy disappears) You better nip this in the bud!!"

Andy is walking down the sidewalk towards Floyd's when........



NEXT


March 22, 2011 - Msg 83079:
RO- wait til you watch a TAGS DVD on the new TV. Like my wife says "It's TOO clear!" ha "You shouldnt be able to see those blacked out month names on the calendars!" teehee
Of course, they never envisioned stop-action, zoom-in features either! ha
It looks like we are writing the only "To be continued" hour long TAGS episode ever! LOL

OK, I'll add some more...

At long last, the kids had been put to bed and Aunt bee decided to retire as well, and Caroline
joined Andy once again on the front porch, and spoke,
"I saw you earlier begin to strum that guitar.
I like the guitar, don't care for chit-chat, but I LOVE the guitar."

"Well, I can play 'Church in the Wildwood," how 'bout some of that?"

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83080:
OOPS! somebody beat me to it! Just edit out 83079.
MDC

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83081: Sorry folks, I got so caught up in the story, I forgot to put my name. LOL!

The last entry ^^^^ was by me, John Masters

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83082: Sorry MDC. It's me, JM. I had that posted before you but I used a word the censor didnt agree with (A rooster's call) and I had to revise.

Sorry 'bout that!

JM

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83083:
Or, just kinda slip 83079 in there after 83072.

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83084:
Andy opens the door of Floyd's and closes it behind him.
"Hi An-dee" says Floyd as he climbs out of the barber chair and Andy climbs into it.
"I heard about your new neighbor.
She sounds like a wonderful gal, just a wonderful gal, Caroline is it?"

"Floyd! How did YOU hear about her?"

"Loralee Hobbs told me!"

"Loralee Hobbs?! ...Barney!"

Andy jumps from the chair and storms out...

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83085:
THE EPISODE so far, hope it doesn't burnt up Allan's server!

Title: Andy Ditches Helen

It was a warm, spring day in our beloved Mayberry and everyone seemed to have a bit of spring fever. Andy was alone in the courthouse; feet casually propped on his desk as he observed the world through the courthouse window. He watched Miss Emma Watson crossing mainstreet and heading for Walker's drugstore for her "pills", no doubt. He had to smile as he watched her hobble across (jaywalking, as usual), but the truth was Andy didn't feel much like smiling. He had alot on his mind these days, particularly his failing relationship with Helen Crump. He was troubled by the length of their courtship but just couldn't bring himself to ask Helen to marry him. The truth was, he just wasn't sure about how he felt anymore. There wasn't anyone else but it seemed that he was having a much harder time dealing with Helen's jealous nature. She was becoming more controlling and demanding and he felt the noose tightening around his neck more and more these days. Just last week they he had taken her for Chinese food in Mt. Pilot and Helen had been very rude to the attractive waitress that served them. Andy barely noticed her and would never even think of paying her any mind, but Helen was furious, accusing him of flirting with the waitress. She didn't attempt to hide her behavior in any way and Andy was very embarrased by it. It didn't matter what he said, she just wouldn't see how irrational her behavior was and it was a very silent trip home from Mt. Pilot. He had not seen Helen since and it had been four days. In times past, Andy would have called her and apologized to smooth things over, even though he had nothing to apologize for, but he just didn't have it in him to fight this battle again. He was in a tough situation.

As he contemplated his decisions, he saw Aunt Bee approaching the courthouse. She had obviously been to the market and was carrying a brown bag in each arm as she entered the courthouse.

"Hello Andy, I wanted to drop by and tell you that I invited the new neighbors to supper tonight so I had to go by the market for some things. I think you will like our new neighbors, Andy. The woman's name is Caroline Marsh and she is a widow with a young boy named Johnny who happens to be Opie's age and they are hitting it off just fine! Opie is there now, helping Johnny unpack his toys."

"You say she's a widow, Aunt Bee?"

"Yes, she was married to a preacher in Silar City. He died two years ago..it's very sad because she is still a young woman...she's about your age, I imagine. Anyway, I have to get going to have supper ready on time, Andy. Will you be coming home soon?"

"Sure, Aunt Bee. Barney is at the diner having a Lemon Phosphate with Thelma Lou, but as soon as he gets back here, I'll head home. What'r we havin' for supper?"

"Oh, nothing fancy, just my fried chicken, mashed potaotes, sweet peas and rolls..oh, and I made an apple pie this morning."

"Mmm, that sounds like some KIND of good eatin'. I can't wait."

Aunt Bee turns to leave and then remembers something,

"Oh, Andy, one more thing. I told Caroline next door that you would help her when you got home. She's been trying to hang her curtains in the front room and she needs help."

"Sure, Aunt Bee, I'll go over and help as soon as Barney gets back. Bye now."

Soon Barney returns from the diner and offers to take over while Andy goes home early. He leaves the squad car with Barney and walks home. It is such a lovely day for it anyways. Before going in the house, he decides to go introduce himself to the new neighbors and see what he could do to help. There are several unpacked boxes scattered on the front porch and Andy has to step over one to press the doorbell. Seconds later, the door opens to reveal a woman who is the picture of loveliness. She is standing in bear feet, with a broom in one hand. She is tall and statuesque in her yellow cotton dress and apron tied around her delicate waist. Her blonde curls are unruly from the work she has been doing and Andy thinks she is about the prettiest thing he has ever seen, as he has the sensation that his stomach has just fallen into his shoes. Poor Andy just stands there, and tries to get the words out of his mouth. He finally manages to say,
"Hi, I'm Andy Taylor", but it takes a few seconds.

Caroline stands, broom in hand, and stares at Andy for just a beat or two, then says,
"Well, hello! I met your Aunt Bee, and she was kind enough to volunteer your services, to get these curtains hung. I hope you don't mind, because I can really use the help. I'm not very fond of standing on ladders, and these front windows are pretty high."

"I'm happy to be able to help, uh - Caroline, isn't it?"

"Yes. Caroline - Caroline Marsh."

"So, how do you like Mayberry so far? Everybody treatin' you nice?"

"Oh yes! Such a lovely little town, and everyone has been so friendly. Your aunt made me feel right at home. She reminds me of my mom. I lost her four years ago, and still miss her so much. I think Aunt Bee will really help me get over that. Did she tell you she invited me and my son to dinner tonight? I hope you don't mind."

"Mind? No, of course not. We'll be right glad to have you. I'm glad Opie is gonna have a friend right next door. He has lots of friends, but there's nothing like a good buddy right next door, kinda close-like. They'll find plenty to get into, I'll bet."

"Oh, I think I can guarantee that! Johnny has been so lonely these past two years since his daddy died. They were very close, and did a lot of things together - camping, fishing, stuff like that. My husband was a preacher, and the church's congregation was mostly older people, so there weren't a lot of kids. There were a couple of little girls on our street, but not many boys Johnny's age. He's going to have a great time with Opie so close by. Does Opie like to fish?"

"Oh yeah! He and I go fishing all the time. There's a great fishing spot down at Myers' Lake, and a couple of other places, too. Opie goes on his own pretty often now that he's a little older, and I know he'd love for Johnny to go too. Aunt Bee packs a mean lunch - wouldn't surprise me if they'd just make a day of it now and then. Now, where's them curtains you want hung?"
(Time passes)
"Well Caroline, I think that just about does it for the curtains. It was nice of the previous owners to leave the rods in place, that really halped."
You know, you kinda remind me of a lady who lived here in Mayberry awhile back. Her name was Peggy McMillian. She was our county nurse while she was here, but then her papa took sick sudden-like and passed away shortly afterwards up in Raleigh, and we all lost touch with her. Barney, that's my deputy, well he told me that he heard that she ran off with some guy named Don, but, er, THAT'S another story."

"I have done some nursing in the past, and I did hear that the county nurse position here may be opening up again soon."

Andy considers her question some, before answering.
"Caroline, we go through County Nurses here like a boy wearing sandpaper underwear goes through britches. We have had two Nurse Mary's, Peg McMillan, Irene whats her name that dated Howard. To be honest with you a County Nurse here in Mayberry has the life span of a nat. How about you consider some other line of work?"

Caroline, both amazed and touched by Andy's concern for her longevity asks
"well what do you think I should do Andy?"

Andy, looking deep into her amazingly clear and warm blue eyes was about to respond to her when the doorbell rings.
Caroline, frustrated by the interruption, goes to the door and opens it. There she is met with the glassy eyed stare from Helen Crump!

Andy says under his breath, "I think you should run and keep on runnin'"...

"May I help you?", Caroline asks Helen sweetly.

Helen looks past Caroline and sees Andy standing behind her. She glares at Andy with steely eyes and with clenched teeth spits out the words,
"Andy, did you forget that you were going to drive me to Mt. Pilot for my dentist's appointment?!"

Stepping forward and gesturing toward Caroline, Andy says,
"Uh,...Helen, this is our new neighbor Caroline Marsh. She and her little boy have moved here from Silar City."

"That's nice," snapped Helen, never bothering to so much as look in Caroline's direction.

"Uh-oh," whispered Caroline. "Well, would you like to come in?"

"No I would NOT, thank you. Andy are you coming?!"

Andy could feel his face burning from the awkwardness of the moment and his first thought was to excuse himself and give in to Helen's demands but he stopped just outside the front door...Helen's behavior stood in stark contrast to the serene, unruffled demeanor of Caroline Marsh and suddenly he knew what he needed to do. That was the day he could finally see things as they really were and there was no going back.

He simply said,
"No".

Helen spun on her high heels, glaring at Andy, "What did you say?".

"I said 'no'...N-O. Clear enough for you?"

"How dare you speak to me that way. You promise to take me to Mt. Pilot and I find you here with this woman! Andy you come with me right now or it's over!"

"Helen, I am sorry that I forgot about your appointment in Mt. Pilot, but you had not spoken to me in four days. Forgetting was my only crime. I can't tolerate your jealous, controlling nature any longer" (by this time, Caroline has excused herself and has gone into the house).

"My jealous and controlling nature?! Andy, you're the one.."

Andy interrupts her, "Helen, I have all but begged you to go with me to talk to someone about our relationship but you refuse. I can't live like this."

"Well, you don't HAVE to!" screeches Helen as she storms off down the street, heels clacking on the concrete sidewalk.. "And DON'T bother to call to apologize!" she shouts over her shoulder.

Andy watches as he form dissappears around the nearest corner. He feels a sense of relief and hurt but he knows he has done the right thing in standing up to Helen. He turns to knock at Caroline's door just as she is opening it.

"Andy, I'm sorry. I hope I didn't cause any trouble for you."

"How could you? Just by being beautiful?" He smiles at Caroline and Caroline smiles shyly.

"Come on in and have some coffee with me? I just put on a pot and we can talk."

Andy follows her into the bright little kitchen with it's ruffled curtains and they sit at a table by a window overlooking the backyard. Opie and Johnny are playing "Cops and Robbers" in the yard and Opie appears to be handcuffed to a tree.

Quietly Andy says under his breath, "I never did like those late afternoon dental appointments anyways."

"Pardon me,Andy, did you say something?" asks Caroline.

"Oh no, just thankin' to myself's all.
Ah, we better get to my house, so as we aren't late for that supper."
Andy yells out the window "Opie, time to wash up for supper, and give barney those handcuffs back! Young' uns, young 'uns, young 'uns!" Both Andy and Caroline smile.

"OK pa," Opie blurts back. "Come on Johnny."

Once all have entered the Taylor house, the aroma of Bee's fried chicken dominates the conversation. Everyone takes their seats and
Andy offers the fried chicken to Caroline.

"Andy," says Aunt Bee, "I saw Helen stomp by the house a bit ago, and I thought she was saying 'Andrew Taylor!'"

"Oh, it was nothin' Aunt Bee, but I'll tell you one thing,
I sure don't believe Iíll be runnin' with her any more. I believe I got some me some real thinkin' to do. But enough of that fer now, let's dig into this fine supper! Mmmmm, don't this look go-o-o-od?" Caroline sighs.

Meanwhile back at the courthouse):
Barney is running around in his usual neurotic fashion, looking for his handcuffs:
"Otis, you seen my handcuffs around here anywhere? I had 'em attached to my belt and now they're gone...just don't make sense. I've look everywhere. A good lawman should always have all of his required law enforcement equipment on him. (Frustrated) I just wanna be up to code!"

Otis is still in his cot but raises his head, "No Barney, I haven't seen your handcuffs.... Maybe it was....THE COUNT!" (Otis' head falls back on his pillow).

"Ha, ha..very funny, Otis, why don't you get yourself an act and do comedy at every jail in the county?"

After dinner, Andy, Aunt Bee and Caroline retire to the front porch to enjoy the cool evening air. Now with a full stomach, and having some time to cool down a bit, Andy is bothered about the earlier confrontation he had with Helen. He and Helen had been running together now for some time. And although they had had their fair share of arguments, they had also enjoyed plenty of warm and affectionate times together. Andy smiled to himself as he remembered the time he had been at Helenís, watching some television, when they heard Barney and Goober hollerin at each other. Andy remembers jumping up and running to the window to find the two huddled down. He later learned of Barney's plan to bring Goober over and let him see how real courtin is done. But his smile slowly dissolved as he also remembered how angry Helen had gotten at him, like it was somehow his fault. In fact he remembered the next day installing "blackout curtains" at Helenís house all the time she was harping at him about the previous evenings event. He contrasted that with this afternoon, hanging curtains at Carolines house, while she was softly singing and still putting things away from the move.

Just as Andy is about to grab his guitar and do a little strumming, up pops Barney, wearing his old Salt and Pepper. Barney looks a bit perplexed as he comes into the scene.

ANDY: "Well hay Barney, what brings you out here tonight? Have you met my new neighbor? Caroline, this is my Deputy, and good friend Barney Fife. Barney, this is Caroline Marsh. She just bought the Beasley place next door."
Barney offers an awkard hello to Caroline, and then turning slightly to Andy whispers "Ang, can I see you a minute in private?"

Barn, Why are you in your salt & pepper? Going someplace? Got yourself a date with Juanita, I reckon!"
Barney stands there, hat in hand, hemming & hawing before finally clearing his throat in that nervous way he has, and then says...

"Well, you see Ang, it's like this. I was down at the Courthouse when Helen comes stormin' in, just stormed right in there like a wild tornado. She was carrying on something awful! Something about you, a dentist appointment and some woman.What's going on, Ang? What woman? You can level with me,buddy. I'm your trusted Deputy."

Andy looked at Barney and said, "Hold on a minute, Barn. First of all, there ain't nothin' going on with no woman-'cept for Helen, that is. She got all fiery mad 'cause I forgot all about promising to drive her over to Mt. Pilot for a dentist appointment. She came at me earlier today, just a carrying on! I'll tell ya what- I'm plumb near sick of Helen's mess! Now, get back to what you come here to tell me, so's I can get back to my company."

" Company? You got company? Who is it? It's that woman, ain't it?! See, I KNEW there was a woman! See, Helen come over to the Courthouse, and boy, was she mad!" Barney's voice trailed off as he craned his neck and tried to peer past Andy through the screen door.

Thank goodness Caroline and Aunt Bee had gone inside to sample Bee's apple pie. Opie and Johnny had come in from the backyard where they had been playing with Blackie, and both of them were also having a slice.
Meanwhile back on the porch:
"Now look Barn," Andy blurts back, "you might as well know that Helen and i are just about done."
I been thinking about it all thru supper, and i gotta tell ya that i'm just about sick to death of her rages. Sure, we've had some good times, like when we went exploring those old caves..."

"But Andy, you got trapped in there!"

"Yeah well... well, what about you? Look at you! You must be heading out to Morelli's."

"Yeah, I am, and with Juanita, but don't you go tellin Thelma Lou."

_"I won't, I won't, now go have a good time."

At long last, the kids have been put to bed and Aunt Bee decided to retire as well, and Caroline
joined Andy once again on the front porch, and spoke,
"I saw you earlier about to strum that guitar.
I like the guitar, don't care for chit-chat, but I LOVE the guitar."

"Well, I can play 'Church in the Wildwood," how 'bout some of that?" (the evening passes)

Scene is the next day and, as usual, Andy is sitting at the desk and copying some information out of a thick book. The courthouse door opens and Barney come through it smoothly with a wry and smug look on his face. Andy peers up and grins back at Barn.
ANDY: "Well Tiger? I know that grin isnt from dinner at the diner last night"
BARNEY (in his soft but wry/confident voice): "Well Ange, I'll tell ya... (Barney cruises over to this chair and slides up next to Andy at the side of the desk)I wooed her, I gave the whole Fife charm and had her melting in her chair like butter on a hot roll!"
ANDY:(straightens up in chair) "Oh, c'mooooooonn"
BARNEY: "I'm telling you, Ange, she was putty in my hands, she was just captivated by my words and (sniffs) well....I had a secret weapon"
ANDY: (rolls his eyes and looks at Barney with a "uh-huh" kind of look) "What was your secret weapon?"
BARNEY: "Well...tell you the truth...I had a little pocket book of poems at home and I stayed up til' prit near eleven o'clock on Friday reading it, picking out lines and then just (Barney rolls back in chair, tips his officer hat over his eyebrows) hit her with a few random, carefully placed lines through the dinner"
ANDY: "THAT'S your secret weapon?"
BARNEY: "Oh yeah, listen Ange, (Barney sternly) you have to set the mood right out of the gate. You have to establish yourself to be swave and gentlemanly and hook the fish right from the get go!"
ANDY: "Oh, you mean like that time I come in and you were doing rooster calls at her? Tell me, Barn...what page as the rooster calls on?" (Andy breaks into laughter)
BARNEY: (angry) "Alright...alright. You know I try to talk to ya and..."
ANDY: "Ah Barn...I was just pickin' at ya'!"
BARNEY: "Go ahead. Make jokes again. (Barney stands up and grips his gun belt)

About this time, Opie comes in and heads for the desk.
OPIE: "Hi Pa, Hi Barney"
ANDY: Well hey, Ope. I thought you and Johnnie were at the lake fishin?"
OPIE: "Well...I needed to talk to you, Pa. Somethin's wrong with Johnnie and his mother."
ANDY: "Sit down here and tell me what's wrong!"
OPIE: "Well....I was sitting on their front porch waitin' for Johnnie and I accidently heard something.
ANDY: "You werent listenin' in were ya' Ope?!"
OPIE: "Well...no, Pa...I just heard it because they had their windows open and you could hear everything. I just happened to be sitting there and heard it."
ANDY: "Ok...what happened?"
OPIE: "Johnnie's mom was talking on the phone and she was crying. She told someone that she missed her husband a lot, but she feels that she is falling for this wonderful sheriff here in Mayberry and she feels mixed up."
Andy sits back in his chair. Barney gets a very concerned look on his face,
OPIE: "She sounded real upset, Pa. And...well...I just thought you should know."
ANDY: "Listen Opie, I appreciate you tell in' me this. I really do. But next time you are within ear shot of a private talk, you see if you cant find somewhere else to go and do."
OPIE: "I'm sorry, Pa. I hope I didnt make ya' mad"
ANDY: "No, son...now why dont you go out and go fishin' like you were gonna do."
OPIE: "Ok, Pa. Bye Barney!"
Barney waves at Opie and turns right at Andy with a stern and concerned look on his face.
ANDY: "Mmmm Mm! Barney....I am in a peck of trouble. Things have went way yonder far!"
BARNEY: "Well, I'll tell you this for your own good! You need to get things all clear with Helen! And you need to make yourSELF clear with Caroline. You need to nip this now and nip it in the bud!"
ANDY: "Barney.....I agree with ya'! I got some thinking to do. Watch things for just a bit will ya'?" (Andy gets up starts towards the doors)
BARNEY: "Sure, Ange. (Andy walks out the doors and Barney is still talking to Andy as Andy disappears) You better nip this in the bud!!"

Andy is walking down the sidewalk towards Floyd's when.....Andy opens the door of Floyd's and closes it behind him.

"Hi An-dee" says Floyd as he climbs out of the barber chair and Andy climbs into it.
"I heard about your new neighbor.
She sounds like a wonderful gal, just a wonderful gal, Caroline is it?"

"Floyd! How did YOU hear about her?"

"Loralee Hobbs told me!"

"Loralee Hobbs?! ...Barney!"

Andy jumps from the chair and storms out...