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Welcome to Miss Peggy's Post - a - Quote Archive Page.

Name: Emma (character=Andy and Floyd) Date: 02/14/98 22:29:00 CST
Andy: "Who's Al?"
Floyd: "OH, AL....he dances with Sally."

Name: Emma (character=Floyd and Barney) Date: 02/14/98 22:16:14 CST
Floyd: "Better watch it, Al."
Barn: "Will you stop callin' me AL?!"

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 02/14/98 22:05:34 CST
"Suddenly, I'm no longer Barney Fife the Man...I'm Barney Fife the Bulkhead."

Name: Opie (character=Dan Caldwell) Date: 02/14/98 22:05:01 CST
"I'll always think of this place as my little house, away from the big house."
- Dan Caldwell

Name: Opie (character=Barney & Andy) Date: 02/14/98 22:03:48 CST
Barney: Some men just don't know how to begin to drink.
Andy: Oh, he knows how to begin alright. Its the quitting part he ain't caught on to.

Name: Opie (character=Barney & Andy) Date: 02/14/98 22:01:48 CST
Barney: I've already lost two bullets in the laundry....
Andy: And one other thing - when you send that shirt to the laundry, unload.

Name: Opie (character=Floyd) Date: 02/14/98 22:00:23 CST
"Here will we settle. And I, John Mayberry, shall proclaim this, our land, and name it after me, John..........Mayberry."

Name: Opie (character=Andy & Henrietta Swanson) Date: 02/14/98 21:58:19 CST
Henrietta Swanson: Isn't she charming?
Andy: I can't hardly stand it!!

Name: Opie (character=Andy & Henrietta Swanson) Date: 02/14/98 21:56:59 CST
Henrietta Swanson: She was voted young lady most likely to become charming.
Andy: Well, say now. Becoming charming - that is something to look forward to, ain't it.

Name: Opie (character=Barney) Date: 02/14/98 21:55:10 CST
"Hello Sarah? This is official! Get me the hotel right away! .... Barney Fife."

"Hello Jason? Ring me Mr. Maxwell's room right away!.... Barney Fife."

Name: Opie (character=Andy & Ellie) Date: 02/14/98 21:52:56 CST
Ellie is fixing an ice cream sundae for Andy...
"Don't I get any whipped cream?!"
"Take it easy. I just want to eat it, not climb it."

Name: Opie (character=Andy & Barney) Date: 02/14/98 21:50:10 CST
Barney: Well, like they say, the stock market is where they separate the men from the boys. I'll see ya, boy. Let me know if you come across one of them rare nickels with the buffalo facing the wrong way.
Andy: I should have sold him that nickel. Then he'd have something that's worth a nickel.

Name: Opie (character=Barney) Date: 02/14/98 21:47:48 CST
"Andy, this is it. There's one cap... one badge... one revolver... one bullet."

Name: Opie (character=Floyd & Mayor Pike) Date: 02/14/98 21:46:21 CST
Floyd: I've got a tonic that's guaranteed to grow hair over your eyes.
Mayor Pike: I don't want hair over my eyes, I want it over my head.

Name: Opie (character=Barney & Aunt Bee) Date: 02/14/98 21:42:35 CST
Barney: Bee Taylor. Age...
Aunt Bee: You say another word Barney Fife and you'll regret it!!

Name: Opie (character=Barney) Date: 02/14/98 21:40:50 CST
"Could be the old fake card dodge"

Name: Frank Ryan (character=Andy usually to Barney) Date: 02/11/98 19:01:16 CST
"You beat everything", you know that?

Name: Frank Ryan (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 02/11/98 18:59:03 CST
Old Aunt Moriah, jumped in the fire
Fire too hot jumped in the pot
Pot too black, jumped in the crack
Crack too wide, jumped in the sky
Sky too blue, jumped in the canoe
Canoe too shallow, jumped in the tallow
Tallow too soft, jumped in the loft
Loft too rotten, jumped in the cotton
Cotton so white, she stayed there all night!

Now you want to hear me sing "Eatin Goober Peas"?

Name: PD (character=Jonny Paul) Date: 02/10/98 21:32:17 CST
Ya know what we ought to do??... Go down town and get a bottle of pop...

Name: Matt Cockman (character=Andy Taylor) Date: 02/09/98 11:54:53 CST
Don'tat just clutch ye?

Name: Matt Cockman (character=Barney Fife) Date: 02/09/98 11:52:58 CST
Now Andy, I ain't got time for them trivial trivialities...

Name: Matt Cockman (character=Andy Taylor) Date: 02/09/98 11:51:50 CST
You flaunted the law, and you just cain't do that...

Name: gomer (character=Barney) Date: 02/05/98 23:49:13 CST
"Oh, brother!"

Name: gomer (character=andy) Date: 02/05/98 20:27:00 CST
"Well, about that ... "

Name: Jan Quillen (character=Miss Rosemary) Date: 02/04/98 21:14:35 CST
"You know what you find in caves? Bats!!!"

Name: Jan (character=Miss Rosemary) Date: 02/04/98 21:13:46 CST
"You know what you find in caves? Bats!!!"

Name: Trudy & Dave (character=Goober) Date: 02/04/98 20:40:40 CST
"He's got Extra Sensitive Perseptive!"

Name: J.T. Hickman (character=Floyd Lawson) Date: 02/01/98 20:30:10 CST
"Andy, ain't you got a jack?"

Name: J.T. Hickman (character=Gomer Pyle) Date: 02/01/98 20:25:16 CST
I'm sick as a dog, but havin' the time of my life!

Name: Mrs. Mrs. Lesch (character=Barney to photographer) Date: 02/01/98 12:41:33 CST
Has that camera of yours got a fast lens?
Sor of, why?
Well, it's just that my fast draw has never been
sucessfully photographed.

Name: Emma (character=Barn and Ange) Date: 01/31/98 07:03:48 CST
Barn: "All wild creatures shy away from anything with man smell. You want to bait your trap for a tiger or somethin' like that, main rule is...never touch the food with your hands."
Ange: "That's good to know...next time I go tiger huntin', I'm gonna take my tweezers."

Name: Earnest T. (character=Otis) Date: 01/30/98 10:49:15 CST
Otis: Beep Beep...Outta my way Sunday driver !!!!!1

Name: Otis (character=Briscoe) Date: 01/27/98 12:43:49 CST
Well I plumb forgot you had a youngin Sheriff.
Why, he's taller than a stork standing on a still!

Name: Emma (character=Aunt Bee ) Date: 01/22/98 16:14:31 CST
"She didn't!! Well, how can she deny it? Everybody knows she's been henna rinsing for years! A natural redhead?! My foot! She's been rinsing so long her TEMPLES are henna colored!"

Name: Emma (Thanks to MPO) (character=Andy & Aunt Bee (Who's On The Phone With Clara)) Date: 01/22/98 16:11:04 CST
Bee: "By the way Clara, what are you going to be wearing? What do you think about earrings? Do you think they're too much?"
Ange: "Come on Aunt Bee."
Bee: "Yes I know it's Sunday, but this preacher is from New York!"
Ange: "Aunt Bee, come on."
Bee: "Well, I haven't been there either but I always imagined them with earrings. Well, I don't want to wear them if you don't want to wear them."
Ange: "Me and Opie ain't wearin' any."
Bee: "Well..what do you think? I know Reverend Tucker wants us to make a good impression."
Ange: "Play it safe and just wear one."

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 01/18/98 13:25:36 CST
"Notice how he don't call attention to his arm...just floats it out there. Unless I miss my guess, you got yourself a kiss comin' up about now."

Name: Emma (character=Andy to Floyd) Date: 01/18/98 10:10:05 CST
"And quit hollerin' at yourself in that lookin' glass!!"

Name: Emma (character=Andy) Date: 01/18/98 10:08:20 CST
"I'll give you one more bullet, but you've got to promise me you'll keep it in your shirt pocket. And one other thing..when you send that shirt to the laundry....Unload!"

Name: Trudy & Dave (character=Goober Pyle) Date: 01/13/98 20:55:24 CST
They're doing it!

Name: Al Becker (character=Jim Lindsey) Date: 01/05/98 21:33:53 CST
"Roy Orbison singin' for the lonely
hey, that's me...and I want you only."

Name: Al Becker (character=Briscoe Darling.......for Denver) Date: 12/30/97 20:00:50 CST
Low and lonely, sad and blue
Thinking only, of little you
Always trying, to keep from crying
I'm low and lonely over you

Name: Al Becker (character=Frank Meyers) Date: 12/30/97 19:48:25 CST
"I'll take it in cash."

Name: Otis (character=Rafe) Date: 12/22/97 17:20:25 CST
From the Rafe Hollister Archives:

Look Down,
Look Down,
That Lonesome Road,
Before You travel on.

Look Up,
Look Up,
And Seek your Maker,
Forgave With all his heart.

Weary Toten,
Such a load,
Tredgen down that Lonesome Road.

Look Down,
Look Down,
That Lonesome Road,
Before You travel on.


Name: Al Becker (character=Ben Sewell) Date: 12/14/97 18:31:35 CST
"I thought you was the law."

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Andy & Barney) Date: 12/09/97 13:02:56 CST
Andy-"Do you think he he was nicer about the umbrella or nicer about the stand?"
Barney-"I think he was nicer about the stand."
Andy-"Yeah because its bigger."

Name: Al Becker (character=Gomer) Date: 11/24/97 17:50:40 CST
"What a dumb dog. Sweetly disposed, but duuumb."

Name: Al Becker (character=Barn) Date: 11/21/97 18:57:15 CST
"That just frosts me."

Name: Buzzy (character=Floyd) Date: 11/21/97 04:44:45 CST
"Clep,,,Clep,,,That's such a nice sound"

Name: Fast Gun (character=Barney (in a dream-like voice)) Date: 11/16/97 21:31:33 CST
"O-tis, Otis Camp-bell! ... Where did you get the liquor? Where did you ge-et the liquor?

Name: Emma (character=Barney and Otis) Date: 11/16/97 13:12:28 CST
Barney: "Now this is the well known ink blot test. Now I'm gonna show you this design and I want you to tell me what it looks like...I just want you to tell me the FIRST thing that comes into your mind..just say ANYTHING you think of, okay? Ready?"
Otis: "That's a bat."

Name: Emma (character=Barney and Andy) Date: 11/16/97 12:34:30 CST
Barney: "I think that could use just a touch more plaster. I always like to make my moulages a bit on the solid side."
Andy: "I like to use a little egg white in mine...makes em moister and fluffier."

Name: Emma (character=Barney on Phone) Date: 11/16/97 12:32:12 CST
"Thelma Lou?...Barn..listen we can't make it over to Mary's tonight. Andy and I want to spend some time alone."

Name: Emma (character=Andy re: Gomer's Dating Outfit) Date: 11/16/97 08:49:58 CST
"WOW! Purple tie with acerns on it!"

Name: Emma (character=Andy to Opie) Date: 11/16/97 08:47:09 CST
"Well, Winken'll tell Blinken, Blinken'll tell Nod, Nod'll tell Barney.....and Barney'll tell you."

Name: Emma (character=Barney and Andy) Date: 11/15/97 19:04:28 CST
Barney: "Luke Taft?"
Andy: "Yeah...black and white two tone shoes...perforated tops...wing-tips....white shoelaces."

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 11/15/97 19:01:13 CST
"The governor is comin' here to shake my hand?.....Blesss his hort."

Name: Emma (character=Floyd and Barney) Date: 11/15/97 18:09:09 CST
Floyd: "How come you're puttin' on your uniform?"
Barney: "In case we decide to hitchhike...In civies I'm a little hard lookin'."

Name: Emma (character=Gomer and Barney ) Date: 11/15/97 16:48:25 CST
Gomer: "It's easy for you Barney. You're so swayve and worldly. You've been out with waitresses and even a registered nurse!"
Barney: "I'll be right in there with ya, daddy, in case the evening starts to lag."

Name: Emma (character=Andy and Barney) Date: 11/15/97 16:41:50 CST
Barney: "Big fella, you're goin' sidecar express to the diner!"
Andy: "Aww, I don't know. I don't have a jacket or a helmet or goggles or anything."
Barney: "You'll be in the sidecar..who's gonna know?"

Name: Charlene (character=Charlene Darling) Date: 11/15/97 00:56:58 CST

Name: Nathan Tibbs (cf) (character=Barney & Andy) Date: 11/11/97 19:54:14 CST
(Barney)-"you know we couldn't give Otis a sobriety check last night!" (Andy)-"why not?" (Barney)-"he was too drunk!

Name: Nathan Tibbs (character=Barney) Date: 11/11/97 19:48:52 CST
Hey! Now my buffalo's facin' the same way....DARN YOU ANDY!

Name: Al Becker (character=Andy on the phone) Date: 11/09/97 16:22:10 CST
"If you don't want magazine subscriptions or your septic tank pumped out, there's a sign you can git that says no soliciters. (pause) Well sure that applys to septic tank pumpers. Now take down those disease signs Nelvin."

Name: Frank Meyers (character=Barney) Date: 11/06/97 21:07:40 CST
Fly away buzzard, fly away crow, way down south where the winds don't blow, rub your nose & give two winks & save us from this awful jinx

Name: Buzzy (character=Barney) Date: 11/05/97 10:35:32 CST
" How do you know the sheriff don't set under a dryer

Name: Buzzy (character=Andy and Opie) Date: 11/05/97 10:32:16 CST
Andy: "He has to breath to live"

Opie: "He get's by some how"

Goober says hey AL

Name: Al Becker (character=Malcom Tucker ) Date: 11/03/97 15:36:03 CST
"Do it! Just do it!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Opie) Date: 11/03/97 15:32:53 CST
"Johnny Paul Jason says that if you put a horse hair in stagnation water, it'll turn into a snake."

Name: Otis (character=unknown Tagger) Date: 11/01/97 08:13:29 CST
written on the side of the bank building

There once was a Deputy named Fife,
Who carried a gun and a knife...
His gun was all dusty,
His knife was all rusty,
Cause he never caught a crook in his life!

Name: Al Becker (this is my favorite quote) (character=Andy) Date: 10/29/97 17:48:19 CST
"Daylights precious when your a youngin'."

Name: Otis (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 10/27/97 12:26:34 CST
"Oh Andy, I know a lot about baseball. What do you think I am, an Ninny?"

Name: Al Becker (character=Ang) Date: 10/25/97 22:27:15 CDT
"Barney, lets try and keep this on an adult level."

Name: Opie (character=Barney Jumping Rope) Date: 10/23/97 11:54:33 CDT
My mother, your mother, lives across the way.
Every night, they have a fight and this is what they say:
Icka backa, soda cracker, icak backa boo, icka backa soda cracker, out goes you!"

Name: J.Lydia (character=Lydia Crosswaithe) Date: 10/17/97 13:31:25 CDT
I don't gamble.

Name: Al Becker (character=Opie) Date: 10/14/97 22:50:29 CDT
"And say, maybe you'd like to come along."

Name: Al Becker (character=Barney) Date: 10/12/97 01:30:36 CDT
"No Sarah, I didn't say anything about pay day."

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 10/10/97 15:25:08 CDT

Name: Emma (character=Barney to the dog in the front seat of the squad car) Date: 10/10/97 15:18:31 CDT
Alright...move over. I'm drivin'.

Name: Al Becker (character=Barn) Date: 10/06/97 19:34:25 CDT
"Pipe down Einstein."

Name: Al Becker (character=Barney) Date: 10/03/97 20:45:48 CDT
"Now don't give him my Mr. Cookie bar, I'll want that later."

Name: Charlene (character=Barney's old voice teacher (quoted by Barney)) Date: 10/01/97 23:30:29 CDT
"A choir without its tenor is like a star without
its glimmer."

Name: Charlene (character=Barney) Date: 10/01/97 23:26:48 CDT
"Bless her heart!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Opie) Date: 10/01/97 17:07:15 CDT
"They say eatin' burnt food will give ya a good singin' voice."

Name: Kail T. Bass (character=Barney) Date: 09/25/97 17:05:26 CDT
Welcome to check-point chickee.

Name: Kail T. Bass (character=Andy) Date: 09/25/97 16:30:45 CDT
(To Barney)
When this is over I'm going to kill you.

Name: Al Becker (character=Barney) Date: 09/24/97 19:01:32 CDT
"It wasn't under S or A or R. It was behind the file, on the floor."

Name: Charlene Godbee (character=(Barney=Opie)) Date: 09/24/97 06:04:33 CDT
Giraffes, now, giraffes are selfish, just goin' around, lookin out for #1, gettin' hit by lightning. Boy, those giraffes are selfish."

Name: Charlene Godbee (character=Andy & Barney to Otis Cambell)) Date: 09/24/97 05:55:19 CDT
One loaded goat around here is all we need (Andy). (Barney) Yah, and the whole thing goes "blooie!"

Name: Charlene Godbee (character=Andy & Barney to Otis Cambell)) Date: 09/24/97 05:46:19 CDT
One loaded goat around here is all we need (Andy). (Barney) Yah, and the whole thing goes "blooie!"

Name: Charlene Godbee (really) (character=Skippy) Date: 09/24/97 05:08:43 CDT
"What's up with you Charlie, you called me up and asked me to me ya here!"
"If you want a good suit, you got to go to Mt. Pilot."
"Forget them! Am I gonna pull through?"

Name: Dean Darling (character=Otis Campbell) Date: 09/23/97 20:34:56 CDT
"There's been a crook in this jail!"

Name: Charlene (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 09/23/97 20:27:41 CDT
"A rose...a rose I give to thee..."

Name: Charlene (character=My "darling" paw, Briscoe) Date: 09/23/97 20:23:01 CDT
"It was your heart talking to my heart, now my
heart's answerin'. Miss Bee, I'm declarin' for ya!"

Name: Kail T. Bass (character=Barney) Date: 09/23/97 18:55:26 CDT
Mayberry, gateway to danger.

Name: Taxidermist what sewed up her head (character=Helen Crump) Date: 09/21/97 21:17:24 CDT
"He'd kill ya."

Name: Al Becker (character=Barney) Date: 09/21/97 21:14:08 CDT
"I still say.. five minutes behind the barn."

Name: ssmeuth (character=barney-about lady shoplifter) Date: 09/20/97 23:54:09 CDT
"Wow, she must be solid. I only weigh a hundred thirty-two myself."

Name: Charlene (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 09/20/97 20:58:24 CDT
"Chinatown, My Chinatown....Where the lights are

Name: Charlene (character=Andy) Date: 09/20/97 20:55:11 CDT
"I believe we got her if she don't jump!"

Name: Charlene (character=Goober) Date: 09/20/97 20:53:24 CDT
"Speed, speed, speed...that's all you ever think

Name: ssmeuth (character=Andy to Tom Silbey) Date: 09/20/97 01:44:16 CDT
"I believe she just sat down."

Name: ssmeuth (character=Andy to Aunt Bee) Date: 09/20/97 01:42:56 CDT
"You're a bird in this world."

Name: Al Becker (character=Andy) Date: 09/17/97 19:56:20 CDT
"Give her some sugar. Give her some good."

Name: Doug (character=Floyd) Date: 09/13/97 21:41:14 CDT
"He pushed me hard! Assaulted me!" (When
describing to Andy what happened during a fake
holdup of the barber shop)

Name: Charlene (character=Andy (to Barney)) Date: 09/09/97 20:46:03 CDT
"You'd better get yourself a room!"

Name: Charlene (character=Andy (to Helen)) Date: 09/09/97 20:44:18 CDT
"Well, I didn't HATE it!"

Name: They call me Destry! (character=Barn to Andy) Date: 09/09/97 20:10:26 CDT
Now think back, think back to the Spring of 1938, Miss Webster's biology class. You flunked! Don't you remember, you was disecting that grasshopper and you froze!

Name: They call me Destry! (character=Barney to Foley) Date: 09/09/97 20:06:46 CDT
I'm just waitin' for you to go too far...

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 09/07/97 14:54:26 CDT
"A lot of people lie at lunch! What of it?"

Name: Al Becker (character=Barn) Date: 09/05/97 20:38:38 CDT
"Well of all the unmitigated gall!"

Name: Mi§§ Ellen Brown (character=Andy) Date: 09/02/97 11:53:29 CDT
"He tried so hard to put his best foot forward, he tripped over it, and fell down."

Name: Charlene (character=Opie) Date: 09/01/97 22:27:18 CDT
"...on account of I ain't got me no spending money..."

Name: Dean Darling (character=Barney) Date: 09/01/97 22:24:22 CDT

Name: Al Becker (character=Floyd (defending his diagnoses of Goobers whip lash injury.)) Date: 08/30/97 22:46:09 CDT
"A barber does a lot of work around the back of the neck.")

Name: Chubby (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 08/29/97 17:58:26 CDT
"No coffee, tea, or punch, for me, thank you, Mrs. Wiley."

Name: Chubby (character=Andy) Date: 08/29/97 17:56:46 CDT
"Yeah, but don't the trees seem nice and full?"

Name: Chubby (character=Opie) Date: 08/29/97 17:56:08 CDT
"Don't the cage seem empty?"

Name: Chubby (character=Andy) Date: 08/29/97 17:55:38 CDT
"You beat anything, Barney, you know that? You beat anything!"

Name: Chubby (character=Charlene Darling) Date: 08/29/97 17:54:51 CDT
"Oh, Pa, don't play that one! It always makes me cry!"

Name: Charlene (character=Charlene Darling Wash) Date: 08/27/97 21:14:11 CDT
"Done and DONE!"

Name: Charlene (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 08/27/97 21:11:23 CDT
"I got a rude! Bet you ain't never got no rude!"

Name: Charlene (character=Andy) Date: 08/25/97 21:06:18 CDT
"And to think I was glad when you learned to talk!"

Name: Briscoe Darling Jr. (character=Earnest T. Bass) Date: 08/25/97 14:10:11 CDT
"Stop that weddin'!

Name: Charlene (character=Andy (to Opie)) Date: 08/24/97 02:05:10 CDT
"...Act like somebody!"

Name: Charlene (character=Daphne) Date: 08/24/97 00:58:01 CDT
Hello, Doll!

Name: Al Becker (character=Inscription on the David Mendlebright Memorial Horse Trough) Date: 08/23/97 20:43:00 CDT
Let No Horse Go Thirsty Here.

Name: Buzzy (character=Andy) Date: 08/22/97 04:02:14 CDT
" We don't preeshate bein called squirts"

Name: Charlene (character=Goober) Date: 08/21/97 23:42:03 CDT
"How you aim to drive...fast??"

Name: Al Becker (character=Daphne) Date: 08/21/97 21:15:34 CDT
"You just can't be nice to PEOPLE!"

Name: Fred Martindale (character=Malcolm Tucker, Man in a Hurry) Date: 08/21/97 21:10:25 CDT
"You people are living in another world!"

Name: Briscoe Darling Jr, (character=Barney) Date: 08/20/97 17:52:56 CDT
Well, whatta think people do with yours? Soak it in bread and eat it!

Name: Big Barn (character=Floyd) Date: 08/17/97 16:38:58 CDT
Everybody complains about the weather but
nobody does anything about it.
You know who said? ...... Calvin Coolidge

Name: Emma (character=Barney ) Date: 08/17/97 06:45:29 CDT
It's nice when your mom's proud of ya. Course I've known a lot of men who's moms WEREN'T proud of em. That's because they were ROTTEN!

Name: Buzzy (character=Gomer) Date: 08/16/97 22:59:55 CDT
"E is for empty and F is for full

Name: Al Becker (character=Mrs. Wiley) Date: 08/16/97 21:41:00 CDT
"Mr. Schwump tried to pinch him."

Name: Emma (character=Rafe Hollister) Date: 08/16/97 11:20:33 CDT
I believe I'd druther spend another 10 days in jail than to wear these government clothes.

Name: Jack (character=Gomer) Date: 08/16/97 08:28:38 CDT
After finding out that the gold truck was a decoy


Name: Anne Singletary (character=Opie after seeing lipstick on Barney's face) Date: 08/14/97 19:19:15 CDT
PA, PA! Barney's face is bleeding!

Name: John Babes (character=Gomer) Date: 08/09/97 15:31:27 CDT

Name: Emma (character=Barney--Sniffin' Out Danger) Date: 08/08/97 18:51:16 CDT
Barney: "Somethin's goin on..I can just smell it."
Gomer: "Oh, that's just the wind blowin from the diner. They got cornbeef and cabbage on Tuesdays."

Name: Rick (character=Floyd) Date: 08/07/97 23:54:30 CDT
"You know what you are Andy? A Prince.

Name: Jeff Lunceford (character=Otis Campbell ) Date: 08/06/97 19:36:58 CDT
"Out of the way Sunday driver."

Name: Otis (character=Barney) Date: 08/06/97 13:13:20 CDT
Talking to Mrs. Mendlebrite, "Six dollars a week, and what do I get? Heartaches, nothin but Heartaches!"

Name: MERLE DEAN (character=Barney) Date: 08/05/97 18:44:48 CDT
"I think I've heard just about enough about that tomato!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Judd) Date: 08/05/97 18:14:23 CDT
"I wish he'd throw something at me, I haven't had my lunch."

Name: Al Becker (character=Otis) Date: 08/02/97 11:32:30 CDT
"I'm out a birthday party."

Name: Al Becker (character=Clara Edwards) Date: 07/30/97 12:31:24 CDT

Name: Rick (character=Floyd) Date: 07/30/97 05:29:38 CDT
"Better do what they say Al"

Name: Al Becker (character=Barney) Date: 07/24/97 20:58:03 CDT
"Darn her mushrooms!"

Name: CosmoGirl (character=Gomer Pyle) Date: 07/23/97 17:16:02 CDT
Well Gaaaaaaaaa-lee!!!

Name: JW (character=OTIS) Date: 07/17/97 22:44:57 CDT
"Uncle Nat....you're not Uncle Nat.... You're a goat!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Andy/Goob) Date: 07/17/97 22:42:22 CDT
Andy(after finding briefcase full of money): Now Goober, you didn't see this.
Goober: I'm looking right at it.

Name: JW (character=BARNEY) Date: 07/17/97 21:24:13 CDT

Name: Waverly (character=Andy) Date: 07/17/97 10:49:18 CDT
Aunt Bea! Those potatoes are a picture no artist could paint!

Name: Waverly (character=Andy) Date: 07/17/97 10:47:53 CDT
Aunt Bea! Those potatoes are a picture no artist could paint!

Name: Donna (character=Charlene Darling) Date: 07/17/97 10:46:36 CDT
Aw, Pa!! Can't I even look at the purty man?

Name: Roni J. (character=Barney) Date: 07/17/97 10:24:19 CDT
"You just wanna rile me so you can see that vein stick out in my neck! You like that don't you!"

Name: Roin J. (character=Barney) Date: 07/17/97 10:22:26 CDT
"Ours is not to reason why,ours is to......give out citations!"

Name: Andy (character=Barney) Date: 07/17/97 06:47:19 CDT
"Move over, I'm driving."

Name: Andy (character=Gomer) Date: 07/17/97 06:40:30 CDT
He ain't stupid. He's ugly, but he ain't stupid.

Name: malcolm tucker (character=briscoe darling) Date: 07/16/97 21:18:17 CDT
"stop that boy, you want your face to freeze that away!"

Name: Roni J. (character=Andy) Date: 07/16/97 20:48:30 CDT
"There's something about Mayberry and Mayberry folks that never leaves you.No matter where life takes you,you always carry in your heart memories of old times and old friends."

Name: 8 Qts of Pickles (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 07/16/97 20:43:16 CDT
"Andy doesn't allow thieves in Mayberry!"

Name: Bryan J. (character=Hollywood bus driver/Aunt Bee) Date: 07/16/97 20:40:38 CDT
Bus driver;"That's one of those Go-Go places where the people twist and swim and jerk."
Aunt Bee;"Oh,those poor folks!"

Name: Roni J. (character=Barney) Date: 07/16/97 20:36:10 CDT
"I been called plenty--everything from'Chopper'to 'Mad Dog.'One name they never called me--"Tattletale!'

Name: Roni J. (character=Floyd) Date: 07/16/97 10:57:10 CDT
"Win with Taylor!' Ooooo...That's good!...Kinda catchy!"

Name: Roni J. (character=Floyd) Date: 07/16/97 10:49:34 CDT
"I always enjoy cutting Barney's hair.His ears kind of wing out,and give you room to work."

Name: Uncle Ollie (character=Otis) Date: 07/15/97 17:40:05 CDT
At's a new one, first time I ever fell of a bed on to a wall.

Name: Momma (character=Andy) Date: 07/14/97 22:13:15 CDT
You're talkin' about a silly little runt with a rock in his hand - not John Dillinger!

Name: Jeannie Goins (character=Momma) Date: 07/14/97 22:11:20 CDT
(character - Andy) You're talkin' about a silly little runt with a rock in his hand - not John Dillinger!

Name: Buzzy (character=Barney) Date: 07/14/97 16:05:07 CDT
"Sure MIke Sure"

Name: Jud (character=Opie) Date: 07/13/97 20:28:53 CDT
No it ain't, that's advneture sleep'n.

Name: RONI J. (character=Andy/Howard's Mom/Helen's Uncle) Date: 07/11/97 16:05:25 CDT

Name: Roni J. (character=Briscoe and Charlene) Date: 07/11/97 15:57:12 CDT
Briscoe.."Let's try "Slimy River Bottom'and this time make it purty!"
Charlene...Oh Paw,that one makes me cry!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Andy) Date: 07/11/97 15:28:16 CDT
"Daylights' precious when your a youngin'."

Name: Roni J. (character=Barney) Date: 07/11/97 15:09:03 CDT
"That's a mark of us Fife's--everything we eat goes to muscle!"

Name: Roni J. (character=Dud and Charlene) Date: 07/11/97 15:06:19 CDT
Dud..."Hey,how bout playin'"Never Hit Gandma With a Great Big Stick'?"
Charlene..."Oh Dud,that one always makes me cry!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Ang/Barn) Date: 07/11/97 11:30:56 CDT
Andy: "Your a fine Son Barn."
Barney: "I try."

Name: Roni J. (character=Ernest T.(on his wedding plans)) Date: 07/11/97 11:15:59 CDT
"I need twelve dollars for the honeymoon----tents cost somethin'fierce!"

(Aces on your Leon quote Al!)

Name: Roni J. (character=Andy) Date: 07/11/97 11:10:58 CDT
"sorry....I already ten-foured ya!"

Name: Buzzy (character=Gomer) Date: 07/10/97 16:38:54 CDT
" I guess that makes you sheriff now"

(Love your Leon Quote Al.)

Name: Buzzy (character=Opie) Date: 07/10/97 16:06:12 CDT
" Paw, Just what can you do with a grown Woman?"

Name: Rev.Tucker (character=Goober) Date: 07/10/97 15:42:43 CDT
I take off on Carey Grant. Do you want to here it?

Name: §i§§y (character=Andy ) Date: 07/09/97 12:41:30 CDT
"What's he got, eyes in the bottom of his feet?"

Name: Roni J. (character=Aunt Bee and Clara) Date: 07/08/97 18:10:59 CDT
Aunt Bee..." I don't know as I'll even enter the
pickle contest.Why,you've won it the last 11 years!"

Name: Roni J. (character=Barney) Date: 07/08/97 17:59:24 CDT
"the quality of mercy is not strained"

Name: Freddy Fleet (character=Mr. Goss(dry cleaners)) Date: 07/07/97 19:41:28 CDT
Malloy, hey guys, who's Malloy?

Name: Al Becker (character=Leon) Date: 07/07/97 13:21:58 CDT

Name: Al Becker (character=Howard) Date: 07/07/97 13:06:31 CDT
"And still they come."

Name: Emma (character=Andy ) Date: 07/07/97 11:14:56 CDT
"...Because grown women wear high heels and it's hard to climb apple trees in high heels."

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 07/07/97 11:05:09 CDT
"That boy oughtn' to be allowed to answer the phone! He's a MINOR!!"

Name: Emma (character=Barn and Ange) Date: 07/07/97 10:50:20 CDT
"I knew it was love...icy chills just run all over me." (Barn)
"Sounds to me more like your snow cone was leakin'." (Ange)

Name: Roni J. (character=Barney) Date: 07/06/97 20:06:24 CDT
"Doc says there ain't nothin' wrong with my throat! What you saw is my uvula! Everyones got a uvula!You got a uvula,I got a uvula,all God's children got a uvula!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Howard) Date: 07/06/97 01:12:01 CDT
"Anybody want a swiss cheese sandwich."

Name: Al Becker (character=Howard) Date: 07/05/97 17:22:26 CDT
"Go man, go!"

Name: Roni J. (character=Barney (braggin')) Date: 07/05/97 14:44:41 CDT
"I do have a nickname I'm stuck with and can't seem to lose-'Fast Gun Fife!"

Name: Mr.Schwump (character=Opie) Date: 07/05/97 14:41:30 CDT
"You wouldn't want my bones to go soft, wouldya Pa?"

Name: R.J. (character=Andy introducing Floyd) Date: 07/05/97 14:38:01 CDT
"Floyd used to practice on cats.We had the baldest cats in the county!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Gomer) Date: 07/04/97 22:10:44 CDT
"I like the back seat."

Name: 8 QTS of Pickles (character=Floyd) Date: 07/04/97 21:40:28 CDT
"Time heals everything.'Know who said that? My Latin teacher at barber college!"

Name: Harry Bailey (character=Andy) Date: 07/04/97 21:36:26 CDT
...."Barney the Beast,Fife the Fierce and Crazy Gun Barney".

Name: Clara Edwards (character=Andy) Date: 07/04/97 21:34:01 CDT
"In a way,that drinking does a good service for the town.Otis laps it up so fast,other folks can't get to it!"

Name: Roni (character=Barney) Date: 07/04/97 21:31:14 CDT
Postcard from Barney,on vacation in Raleigh;

"Having fun,but money sure doesn't last long.Been here three days and already have gone through $10!"

Name: Franco (character=Goober) Date: 07/04/97 21:27:52 CDT
"He hasn't got any spots on him, so I named him Spot!"

Name: Oniray (character=Howard) Date: 07/04/97 21:26:35 CDT
"If your as lucky as Mother and I,you may get to see the mating dance of the scarlet egret!"

Name: R.J. (character=Goober) Date: 07/04/97 21:24:19 CDT
"The pounded steak dinners are nice.They pound them right here on the premises!"

Name: Frank Myers (character=Andy to Opie) Date: 07/04/97 11:03:51 CDT
"Don't eat snot!!!!"

Name: Liam (character=Barney) Date: 07/04/97 10:59:18 CDT
"Heartache! Nothing but heartache!"

Name: Sergio (character=Howard) Date: 07/04/97 10:10:07 CDT
"Aunt Bee's family came over on the Mayflower.Immigration laws weren't as strict back then!"

Name: Roni (character=Floyd) Date: 07/04/97 06:24:05 CDT
"You always wanted to eat the shaving cream! You thought it was ice cream.You were pretty stupid, you know that!"

Name: Mr. Shwump (character=Andy) Date: 07/04/97 06:21:38 CDT
"There's not too much pride in fifty indians and fifty settlers sitting around getting gased!"

Name: R.J. (character=Judges (at the State Fair)) Date: 07/04/97 06:18:55 CDT
1st judge......"What do you think?"
2nd judge......."Kerosine?"

Name: Sergio (character=Ernest T. and Barney) Date: 07/04/97 06:16:25 CDT
E.T...."I been courtin'Hog Winslow's daughter,Hogette"
Barney....."Hoggette? Pretty name!"
E.T......"It's French."

Name: Al Becker (character=Uncle Ollie) Date: 07/04/97 00:42:54 CDT
"No strain."

Name: Al Becker (character=Gomer) Date: 07/04/97 00:40:49 CDT
"Why, thats an insult in the face of the public!"

Name: Liam (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 07/03/97 16:42:12 CDT
"That haircut of yours may be city style, but your heart was shaped in a bowl!"

Name: Roni J. (character=Otis) Date: 07/03/97 16:35:37 CDT
"I'm dead sober,but I expect I'll get over it!"

Name: Eduard (character=Barney) Date: 07/03/97 16:33:34 CDT
"You know Andy,it's that new desert that's come out since it's become a state!" (Barney explaining the origin of "Baked Alaska")

Name: Leonard Blush (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 07/03/97 11:05:06 CDT
..."Look! It's Matt Dillon! Where's Chester?"

Name: Connor D. (character=Barney) Date: 07/03/97 10:20:37 CDT
"Giraffes are selfish!Just running around looking after number one, getting hit by lightning!"

Name: Gino (character=Barney) Date: 07/03/97 10:14:11 CDT
"Andy,you know we couldn't give Otis a sobriety test last night--he was too drunk!"

Name: Sergio (character=Opie) Date: 07/03/97 10:12:00 CDT
....."who stepped on Ma?"

Name: Rangoon (character=Barney) Date: 07/03/97 10:08:25 CDT
"You got to understand this is a small town.The sheriff is more than just a sheriff-he's a friend. And people in this town,they ain't got a better friend than Andy Taylor!"

Name: R.J. (character=Floyd) Date: 07/03/97 10:04:49 CDT
..."A two-chair shop! And I've got the magazines to swing it!"

Name: Debbie (character=Opie Taylor) Date: 07/03/97 09:42:21 CDT
I like sleepin' on the ironin'board-that's "adventure sleeping"!!!!!

Name: Roni J. (character=Ernest T.) Date: 07/02/97 21:14:42 CDT
......"you know,Hog Winslows daughter,Hogette"

Name: Roni J. (character=Ernest T.) Date: 07/02/97 21:11:55 CDT
Ernest T...." you know,Hog Winslow's daughter,Hogette"

Name: MERLE DEAN (character=Lydia Crosswaithe) Date: 07/02/97 16:50:12 CDT
"My Father hates his job!"

Name: Opie Taylor (character=Barney) Date: 06/30/97 22:49:47 CDT
"There's no greater fear than fear itself."

Name: Opie Taylor (character=Barney) Date: 06/30/97 22:48:09 CDT
"Will you stop callin' me Al!"

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Gomer) Date: 06/30/97 22:43:05 CDT
"Hidy life saver man!"

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Barney) Date: 06/30/97 22:41:22 CDT
"Goober you were on a date you weren't takin' medicine

Name: Al Becker (character=Malcom Tucker) Date: 06/30/97 21:45:42 CDT
"I'm not keyed up!"

Name: Buzzy (character=Andy) Date: 06/30/97 01:33:49 CDT
" Barney,,Lookin for these? "

Name: Oliver Gossage (character=Earnest T. Bass) Date: 06/29/97 23:34:57 CDT
"Let go my mother figure brother figure!!!"

Name: Buzzy (character=Man in Truck (name unknown)) Date: 06/29/97 23:31:48 CDT
"HAY BARNEY, You want to come over and play jacks with me later?"

(Goober says hay Al)

Name: Buzzy (character=Andy) Date: 06/29/97 23:28:02 CDT

"Ole Buzzy Lenard's car."

Name: Al Becker (character=Danny Williams) Date: 06/29/97 19:29:24 CDT
"Here's another five, buy a comb and rake some of that hay seed out of your hair."
(From the pilot episode.)

Name: Al Becker (character=Gomer) Date: 06/29/97 19:23:05 CDT
"Makes you think."

Name: Al Becker (character=Barney (the bulkhead) Fife) Date: 06/29/97 19:19:22 CDT
"There's Andy and there's me, and (patting his gun) baby makes three."

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Barney ) Date: 06/27/97 11:07:13 CDT
"Where you gettin' it?"
"Where are you gettin' it ? WHERE ARE YOU GETTIN' IT!"

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Barney) Date: 06/27/97 11:02:46 CDT
"Andy's got hot knees."

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Floyd & Barney) Date: 06/26/97 20:57:25 CDT
Floyd "you know what happened to me since i sent that letter along?"
Barney:"no and i don't wanna know."
Floyd:"a traveling man from Raliegh,oh he was a big man,a fertilizer salesman gave me a dollar tip first thing this morning."
Barney:"he did"
Floyd:"first thing this morning."

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Floyd) Date: 06/26/97 20:51:53 CDT
"it looked like you smelled something,what were you doing sniffing out crime?"

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Floyd) Date: 06/26/97 20:50:19 CDT
"if you want aa good suit you gotta go to Mt.Pilot."

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Floyd) Date: 06/26/97 20:49:23 CDT
"I thought Calvin Coolidge said that"

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Gomer(Opie Talor Sr.)) Date: 06/26/97 20:47:46 CDT

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Gomer(Opie Talor Sr.)) Date: 06/26/97 20:47:38 CDT

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Barney) Date: 06/26/97 20:44:41 CDT
"just had to have an apple!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Barney) Date: 06/25/97 19:38:38 CDT
"You wanna know something? Jack Egbert was no prize."

Name: Briscoe (character=Opie) Date: 06/24/97 06:14:14 CDT
"Ya know Pa... A peanut butter sandwich sure taste better with milk!"

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Barney) Date: 06/23/97 22:28:12 CDT
"5 foot 8!what do they want a basketball team?

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Opie & Ernest T.) Date: 06/23/97 22:24:36 CDT
Opie:"good night Ernest T. Bass
Ernest T.:"good night Opie Taylor"

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Andy) Date: 06/23/97 22:15:57 CDT
"are you gonna enter or do you plan on bringin' the sandwiches?"

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Opie) Date: 06/23/97 22:14:42 CDT

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Briscoe) Date: 06/23/97 22:14:10 CDT

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Briscoe) Date: 06/23/97 22:12:59 CDT

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Briscoe) Date: 06/23/97 22:12:17 CDT
"He arguing with me?"

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Barney) Date: 06/23/97 22:11:15 CDT

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Andy&Opie&Gomer) Date: 06/23/97 17:19:03 CDT
Barney:"What's up?"
Andy:"she didn't say"
Gomer:"What's up?"
Barney:"She didn't say"

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 06/23/97 17:16:09 CDT
"946 jars of Miracle Salve payable in 7 days to Opie Taylor Sr.,who on earth is Opie Taylor Sr.?"

Name: Rock & Roll Rosie from Raliegh (character=Andy) Date: 06/23/97 15:02:30 CDT
"..and take that gun outa your mouth."

Name: Nelvin (character=Barn) Date: 06/23/97 14:58:22 CDT
"Sheriff, Sheriff, it's time, it's time."

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Barney & Andy) Date: 06/23/97 13:54:34 CDT
Barney:"How do you deal with a fox?"
Andy:"set the dogs on 'em"
Barney:"No!you out fox a fox!"
Andy:"I ain't never tried that way before."

Name: Opie Taylor Sr. (character=Opie) Date: 06/23/97 13:48:50 CDT
"you an attorney at law Barney?"

Name: Phil (character=Rev.Tucker) Date: 06/22/97 15:53:51 CDT

Name: Al Becker (character=Luke) Date: 06/22/97 14:32:41 CDT
"I resent that mister, I come from a good family my Mother was a nurse!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Floyd) Date: 06/22/97 14:29:32 CDT
"Now can I go to Nashville!"
(hey Buzzy)

Name: poppa (character=Rev.Tucker) Date: 06/21/97 09:21:31 CDT
I want to be the Best deupty I can be.I want to prove thta you picked
me because I was the best man for the job cousin Andy!

Name: Emma (character=Otis) Date: 06/20/97 13:45:47 CDT
Barney's in jail!!...Barney's in jail!!

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 06/20/97 13:36:34 CDT
Who do you think you're kiddin', sister?

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 06/20/97 13:23:24 CDT
Well...it ain't a whim anymore if you put on clean underwear.

Name: Jubil (character=Barney) Date: 06/20/97 12:10:27 CDT
Me They,Me They,Me They,Me They,Me They,Hi Ange

Name: Jubil (character=Andy) Date: 06/20/97 12:04:06 CDT
"Yeah, thats what this country needs more eraser clappers."

Name: Oliver Gossage (character=Andy and Barney) Date: 06/19/97 22:23:39 CDT
Barney..."you could'nt have gotten a piece of tissue paper between um they were that close, they were kissing
Andy: who was kissing?
Barney: Thelma Lou and Gomer!
Barney: K I S S I N!!!!


Name: Buzzy (character=Andy, Gomer) Date: 06/19/97 22:06:46 CDT
Andy:Well Gomer Barney's been bitten by the green eyed monster.
Gomer: He has, well they got some stuff down at the drug store'll keep um off of you, one fell on me just yesterday.

Name: Oliver Gossage (character=Otis) Date: 06/19/97 21:41:53 CDT
"Out of the way you Sunday driver"

Name: Earnest T. Bass (character=Barney) Date: 06/18/97 14:10:08 CDT
"A, a guy moves into town, 2 He has no job, C He wants to marry Mrs. Bendlemright

Name: Earnest T. Bass (character=Barney) Date: 06/18/97 14:09:12 CDT
"A, a guy moves into town, 2 He has no job, C He wants to marry Mrs. Bendlemright

Name: Earnest T. Bass (character=Barney) Date: 06/18/97 14:08:39 CDT
"A, a guy moves into town, 2 He has no job, C He wants to marry Mrs. Bendlemright

Name: Buzzy (character=Mr. Darlin) Date: 06/18/97 13:44:10 CDT
" I ant about to be beat to death with no spoon..."

Name: Buzzy (character=Opie) Date: 06/17/97 23:58:06 CDT
"Yep, it's the liver, she looked right at it and cried"

Name: Al Becker (character=Goober) Date: 06/16/97 20:12:20 CDT
"Say it again."

Name: §i§§y (character=Andy) Date: 06/16/97 11:08:45 CDT
"I believe I'll just let the snails go by....."

Name: Katie (character=Andy) Date: 06/15/97 13:24:36 CDT
"Roast beef and it ain't even the weekend!"

Name: Asa (character=Barney) Date: 06/12/97 21:35:16 CDT
"I never saw that lamp,i do not know what spirit was evoked by that lamp,so therefore i cannot discuss the subject intelligently!"

Name: §i§§y (character=Otis) Date: 06/12/97 10:48:15 CDT
"I've been coming here for so long, I never figured there was chance for advancement."

Name: Al Becker (character=Barney) Date: 06/11/97 19:48:26 CDT
"Floyd so help me!"

Name: §i§§y (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 06/10/97 13:44:04 CDT
"I'll tell you one thing--they aren't getting anymore of MY muffins!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Otis) Date: 06/09/97 20:14:39 CDT
"What a mess I've made of my life."

Name: Dr.Merle Osborne(licensed PPD) (character=Gomer) Date: 06/09/97 13:40:00 CDT
"I thought i'd run over to my cousin Goober's and watch him wash his car."

Name: Dr.Merle Osborne(licensed PPD) (character=Barney & Gomer) Date: 06/09/97 13:37:28 CDT
Barney:"We don't have time to talk about your stupid cousin Goober!"
Gomer:"He ain't stupid"
Gomer:"I said my cousin Goober ain't stupid,he's ugly but he ain't

Name: §i§§y (character=Andy to Opie) Date: 06/09/97 09:11:39 CDT
"If I ever catch a certain little boy handcuffing another little boy to a flag pole, he'll not only be a-plantin' spinach, he'll be eatin' it-standin'up."

Name: Al Becker (character=Gomer) Date: 06/05/97 19:15:21 CDT
"Oh, Electric."

Name: Al Becker (character=Uncle Olly) Date: 06/05/97 19:12:41 CDT
"Radio and gas, radio and gas!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Barney) Date: 06/05/97 19:10:34 CDT
"Alright alright you smell gas! Whadaya think this car runs on, coal?"

Name: Howie (character=Barney) Date: 06/05/97 08:52:37 CDT
"Are you gonna question a whim?"

Name: Sheriff Taylor (character=Miss Rosemary) Date: 06/04/97 17:54:41 CDT
Miss Rosemary, this is it. Don't blow it!!

Name: Jubil (character=Andy) Date: 06/04/97 15:28:22 CDT
"What's the matter Barn,ate too many green apples?"

Name: Jubil (character=Barney & Andy) Date: 06/04/97 15:27:14 CDT
Barney:"Are you sore?"
Andy:"I ain't sore."
Barney:"How come your jaw muscles are working."

Name: Jubil (character=Floyd) Date: 06/04/97 15:24:02 CDT
"You're funny for a sheriff."

Name: Jubil (character=Barney) Date: 06/04/97 15:23:16 CDT
"she's a dog!"

Name: Jubil (character=Barney) Date: 06/04/97 15:21:15 CDT
"Door handle's already in my side."

Name: Horatio (character=Rafe Hollister) Date: 06/04/97 13:04:18 CDT
I know how hot I am. Dang hot!!

Name: Rafe Hollister (character=Briscoe Darling (to Barney)) Date: 06/04/97 02:18:45 CDT
"More power to ya."

Name: Rafe Hollister (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 06/04/97 02:16:37 CDT
"Ever'body back on th' truck!"

Name: Rafe Hollister (character=Andy & Floyd) Date: 06/04/97 02:14:57 CDT
"Floyd, if I hear anybody else singin' your song, I'll hit 'em right in the mouth!"
"You're a good friend, Andy."

Name: Al Becker (character=Goober) Date: 06/03/97 19:10:02 CDT
"Cha- weet, cha-weet, cha-weet."

Name: Al Becker (character=Andy) Date: 06/03/97 19:03:09 CDT
"Well you see I can't, cause I don't have the ladder."

Name: Jubil (character=Barney) Date: 06/03/97 18:09:49 CDT
"Thelma Lou,which is more important me or gluing covers on hymn books with Edgar Coleman?"
"And what about you and Edgar Coleman,yeah yeah i know your just gluing covers on hymn books!"and another thing you just tell me right now whether its going to be Edgar Coleman or Barney Fife because thats just about the situation that she exists!"

Name: Mr.Foley (character=Rafe Hollister and Mrs.Hollister) Date: 06/03/97 16:06:59 CDT
"you look good enough to be buried."
"i feel like i'm fixing to be."

Name: Horatio (character=Barney) Date: 06/03/97 15:27:59 CDT
I can't face life knowing there are 6 quarts of these pickles in it.

Name: Horatio (character=Buddy Ebsen) Date: 06/03/97 15:23:02 CDT

Name: Tina (character=Ron Bailey) Date: 06/03/97 12:21:24 CDT
"This town really swings, don't it deputy?"

Name: Mr.Foley (character=Barney) Date: 06/02/97 22:33:39 CDT
"Don't Wear my hat,Ange."

Name: §i§§y (character=Barney) Date: 06/02/97 10:58:38 CDT
"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

Name: Al Becker (character=Sgt. Carter) Date: 05/31/97 20:49:24 CDT
"His DADDY!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Andy/Barn) Date: 05/31/97 19:56:49 CDT
Andy: "Barney, just because you read an article in a 10 cent magazine..." Barney (interrupting): "Quarter!"

Name: Goober (character=Andy) Date: 05/30/97 15:28:13 CDT
Well now, you'a lookin at it wrong!! That's like sayin you milk a cow to git strong fangers!!!

Name: Judd (character=Barney) Date: 05/29/97 18:40:29 CDT

Name: §i§§y (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 05/29/97 15:40:57 CDT
"Past the hand holding stage and ready to set the date."

Name: Al Becker, Al Becker (character=Andy) Date: 05/28/97 18:54:06 CDT
"Yeah, I always did like a good crab joke."

Name: Jubil (character=Rafe) Date: 05/28/97 18:23:45 CDT
"when i was born i have my mama,when i die i'll have the undertaker!"

Name: Jubil (character=Rafe) Date: 05/28/97 18:21:23 CDT
"i don't wanna be a dead hero, i wanna be a LIVE me!"

Name: Jubil (character=Barney and Andy) Date: 05/28/97 18:11:22 CDT
Andy(about Miracle Salve)"you wouldn't happen to know something about this would you,Barn?"
Barney(a.k.a. Dr. Pendike)"maybe i would,and then maybe again i wouldn't,right Gome?"

Name: Jubil (character=Barney ) Date: 05/28/97 18:07:49 CDT
"is this your emergency?,a postcard and a copy of Mechanics Monthly!

Name: Jubil (character=Barney & Gome) Date: 05/28/97 18:06:19 CDT
"i oughta write you up with a 912,
"What's a 912?"
"insulting an officer's intelligence!"

Name: Jubil (character=Otis) Date: 05/28/97 18:04:21 CDT
"i was sober i don't trust my own judgement when i'm sober."

Name: Gentleman Dan (character=Andy & Barney) Date: 05/28/97 17:55:01 CDT
Barney:"Yes or no,A who's store is being robbed?
Andy:"uh, No"
Barney:"answer in one word!B:who was crawling around in Weaver's last night?
Andy:"you were,but that is two words."
Barney:"i hate it when you get obtuse!"

Name: Ben Weaver (character=Otis) Date: 05/28/97 17:48:35 CDT
"I can't take 4 dogs home my wife barely lets me in the house."

Name: Ben Weaver (character=Andy & Otis) Date: 05/28/97 17:46:35 CDT
Andy:"Otis wanna go with us and get a bottle of pop?"
Otis:"No its bad for my liver."

Name: Ben Weaver (character=Lydia) Date: 05/28/97 17:42:54 CDT
"Lydia it means native of Lydia in ancient Greece,but that's not where i'm from,i'm from Greensboro."

Name: Ben Weaver (character=Lydia) Date: 05/28/97 17:40:25 CDT
"i hate the outdoors when i go out into the sun i get the herpes."

Name: Susan Massey (character=Andy&Opie) Date: 05/28/97 09:29:20 CDT
Andy: "Opie, that's an old wife's tale."
Opie: "But Johnny Paul ain't married!"

Name: Susan Massey (character=Andy&Opie) Date: 05/28/97 09:28:36 CDT
Andy: "Opie, that's an old wife's tale."
Opie: "But Johnny Paul ain't married!"

Name: Susan Massey (character=Ernest T) Date: 05/28/97 09:26:58 CDT
Hoggett...It's a French name!

Name: Tina (character=Andy) Date: 05/27/97 12:33:50 CDT
"Why would a girl like that get involved with a squirt?"

Name: Diamond Jim (character=Barney & Andy) Date: 05/26/97 21:32:02 CDT
Barney:"you know how i like snow cones."

Name: Diamond Jim (character=Andy & Barney) Date: 05/26/97 21:29:51 CDT
Andy:"what's this?now who would take a magazine like this?....."Barney!"
Barney:"a fella was working his way through college and i thought i'd give him a break
Andy:"he ought to be doing quite well."
Barney:"there's alot of interesting articles written by some real famous authors."
Andy:"yeah like who?"
Barney;"well i can't think of any right off hand."

Name: Diamond Jim (character=Andy & Barney) Date: 05/26/97 21:18:54 CDT
Andy:"do you wanna go over it one more time or
do you think you got it?"
Barney:"i got it."

Name: Mr.Foley (character=Andy) Date: 05/26/97 21:06:44 CDT
"January,quite a month.huh?"

Name: Jubil (character=Andy) Date: 05/26/97 16:31:48 CDT
"how can a fox open a refridgerator door?"

Name: Jubil (character=Barney & Andy) Date: 05/26/97 16:30:14 CDT
Barney:"how do you fight fire?"
Andy:"with a hose"

Name: Judd (character=Andy) Date: 05/26/97 16:27:58 CDT
"if i was Vicky Harmes today,and a 35 year old man came to my house
with a snow cone in his hand i wouldn't even answer the door."

Name: Judd (character=Floyd) Date: 05/26/97 16:20:01 CDT
"i've never been pushed so hard."
"he assaulted me."

Name: Judd (character=Floyd) Date: 05/26/97 16:13:47 CDT
"playing football with his wife!"

Name: **Barn (character=Ernest T. Bass (serenade to Charlene)) Date: 05/25/97 16:42:23 CDT
Old Aunt Maria, jump in the fire,
Fire too hot, jump in the pot,
Pot too black, jump in the crack,
Crack too high, jump in the sky,
Sky too blue, jump in the canoe,
Canoe too shallow, jump in the tallow,
Tallow too soft, jump in the loft,
Loft too rotten, jump in the cotton,
Cotton so white, stay there all night!

Name: Al Becker (character=Lydia ) Date: 05/25/97 15:44:23 CDT
"My Father hates his job."

Name: **Barn (character=Opie) Date: 05/25/97 15:22:42 CDT
"If honesty is the best policy, then how come I'm out a cap pistol?"

Name: Leon (character=Ange) Date: 05/24/97 14:39:36 CDT
"...and even now she's a-givin' me pleasure-- re-eeal heartwarmin' pleasure." (explainin' to Ope about Eagle-Eye Annie)

Name: Katie (character=Opie) Date: 05/23/97 11:12:25 CDT
"Ain't it a BEAUT!"

Name: Wally (character=Floyd and Barney) Date: 05/23/97 06:48:31 CDT
Floyd- "That's the facial." Barney- "I'd hate to see what he looked like when he went in."

Name: Al Becker (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 05/22/97 20:59:25 CDT
"Natural law, tooth and claw."

Name: MaryGrace (character=Barney) Date: 05/22/97 13:38:38 CDT
"Pipe down Otis"!

Name: MaryGrace (character=Helen) Date: 05/22/97 13:36:12 CDT
"He'd kill you".

Name: Tina (character=Barney) Date: 05/22/97 09:21:47 CDT

Name: Mi§§ Ellen Brown (character=Barney to Otis) Date: 05/20/97 11:43:53 CDT
"You hold me up and I'll hold you."

Name: Al Becker (character=Andy) Date: 05/19/97 21:43:10 CDT
"Now take down those disease signs Nelvin."

Name: Al Becker (character=Barney) Date: 05/19/97 21:40:36 CDT
"Thats right, crawlin' in the window at midnight."

Name: Al Becker (character=Andy) Date: 05/19/97 21:39:00 CDT
"I don't even care SOME!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Big Maude Tyler) Date: 05/18/97 14:37:52 CDT
"Hold the heater on 'em."

Name: Tex (character=Tex) Date: 05/18/97 12:14:27 CDT
"I won't Tell Ya!"

Name: Brent Leatherman (character=Tex) Date: 05/18/97 12:12:58 CDT
"I won't tell ya!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Gomer) Date: 05/16/97 19:54:54 CDT
"She's an 8 cylinder, she'll take 8."

Name: Katie (character=Barney) Date: 05/16/97 17:52:04 CDT
"Next time I want a haircut I'll just stick my head in a pencil sharpener."

Name: Al Becker (character=Gomer) Date: 05/15/97 21:03:27 CDT
"When she's in that position she's gonna run on ya."

Name: Larry Ham (character=Norbert) Date: 05/15/97 19:12:39 CDT
Barney- No, Floyd, I don't want a sucker.

Name: MERLE DEAN (character=Goober aka Edward G. Robinson) Date: 05/15/97 13:27:02 CDT
"All right you guys,okay you guys,let's go you guys!"

Name: Tina (character=Andy) Date: 05/13/97 12:55:44 CDT
"Ladies, you sure have been naughty!"

Name: chris litvak (character=Miss Poultice) Date: 05/13/97 11:35:22 CDT
(to Barney during his singing lesson) "I just gave you an "A" in breathing

Name: Al Becker (character=Barney/Otis) Date: 05/12/97 20:39:41 CDT
Barney- "You may not realize it Otis, but you were standing naked before me." Otis- "I was not Andy."

Name: Al Becker (character=Otis) Date: 05/12/97 20:34:37 CDT
"Once in a while I like to see a bat."

Name: nancy (character=Barney) Date: 05/12/97 15:22:34 CDT
Well, Ange, since it's Saturday night...and they are good dancers...!

Name: nancy (character=Andy) Date: 05/12/97 15:20:28 CDT
(Talking about Barney while Barn was trying to set Ange up with a new girl)
"Whatever I did to deserve all this attention from him, I ain't never gonna'
do it again."

Name: nancy (character=fun girl) Date: 05/12/97 15:16:23 CDT
"Just a MINUTE! Let's listen to Berney."

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 05/12/97 06:49:02 CDT
"It is scientifically and biologically wrong to bring a wild animal indoors"....(aside to Andy)-"and besides, it means there's gonna be a death in the family."

Name: Emma (character=Barney (to Andy)) Date: 05/12/97 06:41:08 CDT
"Will you help us?"

Name: Al Becker (character=Wally) Date: 05/11/97 12:47:25 CDT
"Watch your foot I'm gonna rock forward."

Name: Mi§§ Ellen Brown (character=Andy) Date: 05/11/97 12:10:05 CDT
"Oh, did that bad tastin word slip out again?"

Name: MaryBeth (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 05/10/97 17:15:00 CDT
"Otis, I hope you get out of jail in time to vote!!"

Name: Al (character=Gomer) Date: 05/09/97 21:27:47 CDT

Name: Opie (character=Andy (minor modification)) Date: 05/09/97 19:44:03 CDT
"That boy's on a postin' spree"

Name: Opie (character=Barney & Andy) Date: 05/09/97 19:42:56 CDT
"You wanna be taken over by women?"
"I wouldn't mind"

Name: Opie (character=Barney) Date: 05/09/97 19:41:37 CDT
"We'll stay on a #2 amber alert; one of us awake at all times."

Name: Opie (character=Andy) Date: 05/09/97 19:40:31 CDT
"You can go now, but remember: Its definitely no fun when that iron door clangs shut on ya."

Name: Opie (character=Andy (on Paris Nights)) Date: 05/09/97 19:38:48 CDT
"Caution: Users should wear gloves"

Name: Opie (character=Andy) Date: 05/09/97 19:37:55 CDT
"That's a fine plan, Barn. You win your girl and you lose your eye"

Name: Opie (character=Barney & Andy) Date: 05/09/97 19:36:34 CDT
"He's irresponsible. He's careless. He's unreliable."
"I'll make him a deputy"

Name: Opie (character=Barney (being sensitive)) Date: 05/09/97 19:34:40 CDT
"Don't you start Aunt Bee. If you start, I'm a goner."

Name: Opie (character=Barney) Date: 05/09/97 19:33:06 CDT
"I've got some throat spray out in the car. If I'm going to be doing solos, I better give myself a couple squirts"

Name: Opie (character=Andy) Date: 05/09/97 19:31:35 CDT
"There's worse things than being a plain hick, like being a hungry one"

Name: Opie (character=Andy) Date: 05/09/97 19:30:22 CDT
"Don't that clutch ya?"

Name: Howie (character=Miss Ellie) Date: 05/09/97 15:28:19 CDT
"Put that in your soda and sip it!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Floyd) Date: 05/08/97 19:40:55 CDT
"$65 A MONTH! You robber"

Name: Dr.D (character=Otis) Date: 05/08/97 15:02:33 CDT
Hit her in the mouth with a leg of lamb!

Name: Howie (character=Opie to Miss Ellie) Date: 05/07/97 14:21:37 CDT
"My pa says that ice cream cone you gave me was a down payment on a husband!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Goober) Date: 05/06/97 22:23:47 CDT
"Mister, don't make me use my bare hands on you."

Name: Al Becker (character=Andy) Date: 05/06/97 22:16:59 CDT
"well Al Becker happened to be standing there, and you all know Al Becker."

Name: Al Becker (character=Howie) Date: 05/06/97 22:11:22 CDT
You ask him, he's hangin' himself in your house

Name: Tina (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 05/06/97 05:34:17 CDT
"Meaner than a bear backed into a bee hive."

Name: Emma (character=Barney -Not Just a Jerk With a Badge) Date: 05/04/97 09:19:04 CDT

Name: Flora (character=Mr. Tucker to Barney) Date: 05/04/97 09:13:45 CDT

Name: Flora (character=Barney) Date: 05/04/97 09:11:47 CDT
Yep, I think I'll just go home, take a nap, go over to Thelma Lou's later
and watch a little tv, yep go home, take a nap, over to Thelma Lou's
watch a little tv, yeah I think I'll go home, take a nap, go over to
Thelma Lou's and watch a little tv

Name: Ron Glover (character=Rev. Breen) Date: 05/03/97 21:50:20 CDT
(cahracter:Lydia:from Greensboro)"I hate the guitar. I don't mind the clarinet, but I hate the guitar."

Name: Opie (character=Barney) Date: 05/03/97 13:17:46 CDT
In Honor of Mayberry Safety Week.... "Walk on the left after dark or you'll be playing a harp"

Name: Kay (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 05/03/97 09:48:00 CDT
"Hey it's me,it's me, Ernest T."

Name: Kay (character=Barney) Date: 05/03/97 09:42:14 CDT
"I'm a deadly weapon."

Name: gomer (character=barney) Date: 05/02/97 09:42:35 CDT
Of all the nerve!! Imagine them turnin' down a nice guy like you .... I'm sendin' in my resignation!!!

Name: gomer (character=barney) Date: 05/02/97 09:39:54 CDT
Oh, sure, you know, Andy ... It's that new recipe they come out with since it become a state.

Name: §i§§y (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 05/02/97 08:27:37 CDT
"Call him a rabblerouser!"

Name: gomer (character=barney) Date: 04/30/97 15:01:04 CDT
Jaywalking is RAMPANT!

Name: MERLE DEAN (character=Gomer) Date: 04/30/97 13:08:47 CDT
"Regis....REGIS....I can't find regis!"

Name: Nancy (character=Barney) Date: 04/30/97 12:54:56 CDT
(When trying to rescue Andy and Helen from the cave) "Now is the time for
all good men to come to the aid of his neighbor!"

Name: Nancy (character=Lydia) Date: 04/29/97 19:23:05 CDT
I don't mind ordinary conversation, but I hate to chit chat.

Name: Nancy (character=Lydia) Date: 04/29/97 19:22:13 CDT
I don't mind ordinary conversation, but I hate to chit chat.

Name: nancy (character=Andy) Date: 04/29/97 19:18:53 CDT
You know what his name was? Don. Wouldn't you know his name would be "Don"?

Name: Matthew Crawford (character=Barney Fife) Date: 04/29/97 19:12:09 CDT
Juible. Juible, Juible, Juible.

Name: howie (character=Andy) Date: 04/29/97 12:50:44 CDT
"You don't have to get your nose outta joint!!"

Name: Tina (character=Thelma Lou) Date: 04/28/97 22:09:42 CDT
"I don't think that you can be that dictitorial, Barney!"

Name: Al Becker (character=Andy) Date: 04/26/97 22:31:08 CDT
"Well sure that applies to septic tank pumpers"

Name: Al Becker (character=Uncle Ollie) Date: 04/26/97 22:28:21 CDT
"He'll tell you when he's good and ready"

Name: Opie (character=Barney) Date: 04/26/97 18:33:52 CDT
Thanks alot, Blue !

Name: Tina (character=Barney) Date: 04/25/97 13:59:05 CDT
"Let me guide you to the land of rythm and pleasure." I wonder how they got that past the censors!

Name: gomer (character=otis) Date: 04/25/97 13:04:13 CDT
Say, that breakfast smells pretty good!

Name: gomer (character=opie) Date: 04/25/97 13:02:17 CDT
It's Barney, Paw!

Name: gomer (character=gomer) Date: 04/25/97 12:54:28 CDT
Hey, Barney, you got Andy!

Name: gomer (character=andy) Date: 04/25/97 09:30:18 CDT
And they're goooooood machines!

Name: Wally (character=Frank Myers) Date: 04/24/97 06:50:56 CDT
About his one hundred year old bond: "I'll take it in cash."

Name: §i§§y (character=fun girl Daphne) Date: 04/24/97 05:39:05 CDT
"I'm locked up with the sherriff, I'm locked up with the sherriff!"

Name: gomer (character=barney) Date: 04/23/97 13:56:50 CDT
How I VOTE, brother, is my business .... How'd you vote, Ange?

Name: gomer (character=Barney) Date: 04/23/97 06:52:29 CDT

Name: Gina (character=Floyd) Date: 04/22/97 20:55:59 CDT
"He pushed me, he pushed me real hard, assalted me....."

Name: MERLE DEAN (character=Gomer) Date: 04/21/97 09:51:00 CDT
"He deemed a real honor to get under such a fine machine!,we did take one liberty tho...I took Goober's picture with your hood up!"

Name: Katie (character=Uncle Ollie) Date: 04/19/97 13:50:06 CDT
"Quite a deal. A skinny widow with $4000 and a bakery truck with the original paint on."

Name: Opie (character=Barney) Date: 04/17/97 19:54:36 CDT
Approach the cave slowly. SLOWLY!!!

Name: ellie (character=Dud Wash (about Earnest T.)) Date: 04/16/97 14:16:41 CDT
He'll be back...He's a pestulance, and a pestulance will find you!..

Name: gomer (character=barney) Date: 04/16/97 06:31:54 CDT
It's just a mixed up as it ever waaaaaas!

Name: gomer (character=barney) Date: 04/16/97 06:28:11 CDT
"You're starting to get to me."

Name: Rafe Hollister (character=Andy) Date: 04/16/97 02:21:27 CDT
"You look good enough to be in the JCPenney winder!"

Name: Rafe Hollister (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 04/16/97 02:20:41 CDT
"I passed it. I didn't HEAVE it!"

Name: Rafe Hollister (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 04/16/97 02:19:11 CDT
"They twang my buds".

Name: Rafe Hollister (character=Andy (to Barney)) Date: 04/16/97 02:17:37 CDT
"Next time I go huntin' for tigers I'll be sure and take my tweezers".

Name: howie (character=Barney) Date: 04/15/97 05:39:23 CDT
"Put them in the oven and they vocanize!"

Name: Katie (character=Opie) Date: 04/14/97 08:52:15 CDT
"They don't give you no medal for trying!"

Name: Mr. McBeevee (character=Andy) Date: 04/13/97 23:48:00 CDT
That's alright, Barn. Fluffy and I have been friends for years.

Name: Skippy (character=Skippy) Date: 04/12/97 18:02:05 CDT
"Oh Bernie, you're a scream!!"

Name: Mrs.Brendlemight (character=Charlene) Date: 04/11/97 11:18:26 CDT
"You're sweeter than sourwood honey."

Name: Wally (character=Barney) Date: 04/11/97 06:45:36 CDT
I just swallowed my gum.

Name: Wally (character=Barney) Date: 04/11/97 06:44:44 CDT
Mayberry....Gateway to danger.

Name: Wally (character=Barney) Date: 04/11/97 06:43:29 CDT
This is what we call the "Deadly Game"....I'm in it for keeps.

Name: Howie (character=Andy to Barney) Date: 04/09/97 05:42:41 CDT
"Aunt Bee has a good left hook and fancy footwork, but you can still take her."

Name: Tilly (character=Barney) Date: 04/06/97 10:38:21 CDT
"There goes a happy NUT!"

Name: Emma(OOPS) (character=Barney) Date: 04/06/97 09:15:53 CDT
Should say below: "WEEELLLL, IF IT AIN'T DADDY LONG LEGS!!!"

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 04/06/97 09:11:25 CDT

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 04/05/97 17:35:30 CST
"Don't wear my hat, Ange."

Name: Katie (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 04/04/97 07:38:57 CST
"Oh, fibbertigibbet!"

Name: Opie (character=Barney to Andy) Date: 04/03/97 21:24:05 CST
" I've just come from her arms. "

Name: Opie (character=Barney) Date: 04/03/97 21:23:08 CST
"Forget about him. Am I gonna pull through?!!!!"

Name: MCB (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 04/03/97 18:25:59 CST
"He WAS safe!

Name: Uncle Ollie (character=Barney) Date: 04/03/97 06:25:10 CST
Anxiety magnifies fearsome objects

Name: Mrs.Brendlemight (character=Barney) Date: 04/01/97 07:03:46 CST
"Next thing you know you'll be having a welcome wagon down to the freight yard!"

Name: Opie (character=Gomer) Date: 03/28/97 17:23:58 CST
"What a dumb trick. Barney, don't you ever call me dumb."
"Swell party, but what a dumb trick."

Name: JohnnyPaul (character=Briscoe (and Ange)) Date: 03/28/97 11:26:02 CST
Eatin' speaks louder than words.

Name: MissPeggy (character=Barney) Date: 03/27/97 15:06:20 CST
"A regular reign of terror!"

Name: gomer (character=thelma lou) Date: 03/26/97 15:52:16 CST
Not a lick!

Name: gomer (character=barney) Date: 03/26/97 15:43:26 CST
What's the matter? Can't you people stand a guy who's got a mind of his own?

Name: Mrs.Brendlemight (character=Opie) Date: 03/26/97 11:23:27 CST
"Why go to the duck pond at night?--can't see the ducks!"

Name: MERLE DEAN (character=Barney) Date: 03/26/97 07:55:07 CST

Name: Miss Peggy (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 03/25/97 10:26:38 CST
"Remember you've just eaten. Don't run on a full stomach!"

Name: MERLE DEAN (character=Gomer) Date: 03/25/97 09:27:52 CST
"Cause if I was a spider that's where I'd go!"

Name: Briscoe (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 03/23/97 07:23:02 CST
"You think God made two sexes, Men and Blabber Mouths!"

Name: gomer (character=Barney) Date: 03/21/97 14:49:45 CST
... you, you -- Ope, you'd better go inside, there's gonna be some strong language here -- you know what you are, don't you?

Name: Otis (character=Barn) Date: 03/21/97 10:21:44 CST
"Hi Sweetie Pie...oh, Hello Frank is Juanita there?"

Name: Mrs. Brendlemight (character=Barney) Date: 03/19/97 15:25:06 CST
"We have to shape up here, Chief!"

Name: Milton P. Oliver (character=Andy) Date: 03/18/97 05:28:52 CST
"...and get that gun outta your mouth!"

Name: MissPeggy (character=Opie) Date: 03/17/97 10:48:45 CST
"I think I'll split over there and get some of those cool-looking potato chips!"

Name: Martha (character=Floyd) Date: 03/16/97 10:42:41 CST
"Maude, Al those hambugers are ruined . I won't be responsible."

Name: Emma (character=Barney (Beasto Maristo Quote)) Date: 03/15/97 09:29:21 CST
"She's still ugly, single, and pittin' prunes!"

Name: Mrs. Brendlemight (character=Hildamae) Date: 03/15/97 08:31:11 CST
"I oohed about the size of his muscles." "I sat bent over some so's he'd feel taller."

Name: Elinora (character=Andy and Barney) Date: 03/11/97 14:19:06 CST
Barney: What kind of a job can you give Otis?
He's irresponsible! He's careless! He's unreliable!
Andy: I'll make him a deputy.
Barney: A DEPUTY?!?

Name: Mary Grace (character=Andy & Otis) Date: 03/10/97 18:53:04 CST
"You swung at her with a leg of lamb..." "Yeah, but I missed her!!" But you hit her Mother!!!

Name: Mary Grace (character=Barney) Date: 03/10/97 18:42:47 CST
Say Otis, I just saw your Mother-in-law coming out of the dentist

Name: Mary Grace (character=Barney) Date: 03/10/97 18:41:07 CST
Say Otis, I just saw your Mother-in-law coming out of the dentist

Name: Mary Grace (character=Barney) Date: 03/10/97 18:37:17 CST
Say Otis, I just saw your Mother-in-law coming out of the dentist

Name: Mary Grace (character=Andy & Otis) Date: 03/10/97 18:34:21 CST
"You swung at her with a leg of lamb.... Yeah, but I missed her!But you hit her Mother!!

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 03/10/97 17:02:05 CST
"You mean you're not gonna give up your job when you get married?!"

Name: Emma (character=Andy (RE: Moulage Recipe)) Date: 03/10/97 17:00:25 CST
"I like to add egg white to mine...makes em nice and fluffy."

Name: Mrs.Brendlemight (character=Gomer) Date: 03/10/97 12:21:37 CST
"Sick as a dog and having the time of my life!"

Name: Elinora (character=Aunt Bee and Briscoe Darling) Date: 03/10/97 09:44:58 CST
Aunt Bee: Napkins will go on the laps.
Briscoe: I spill on my shirt. I don't spill on my pants.
Aunt Bee: Well, nice people don't spill at all.

Name: Briscoe (character=Barney) Date: 03/10/97 06:16:55 CST
"Now we here at the "Rock" have two simple rules..."

Name: Emma (character=Gomer (Incognito)) Date: 03/09/97 18:49:37 CST

Name: Opie (character=Opie) Date: 03/09/97 18:41:58 CST
"Poor Horatio."

Name: Milton P. Oliver (character=Otis) Date: 03/09/97 18:12:40 CST
"It will be a pleasure,dear lady, to be incarcerated in your domicile."

Name: Briscoe (character=Briscoe) Date: 03/08/97 20:42:11 CST
"Got a five string, you'll just have to drop the thumb."

Name: Miss Peggy (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 03/07/97 18:17:19 CST
"You know, your education was worth every penny of it!"

Name: Wally (character=Barney) Date: 03/07/97 16:48:03 CST
You're the cat's.

Name: Otis (character=Merle Dean) Date: 03/07/97 14:33:16 CST

Name: MERLE DEAN (character=Ernest T. Bass ESQ.) Date: 03/07/97 08:14:44 CST

Name: Wally (character=Barney and his Mom) Date: 03/06/97 19:47:55 CST
As Barn frisks an old lady at her car..."Sorry about this, but us lawmen can't be too careful." Mom:"But Barney...I'm your Mother."

Name: MERLE DEAN (character=COLONEL) Date: 03/06/97 09:12:50 CST

Name: Regis (character=Earnest T.) Date: 03/05/97 18:40:09 CST
She's gonna marry the taxidermist what sewed up her head.

Name: Milton P. Oliver (character=Fred Goss) Date: 03/05/97 17:19:30 CST
"Got the spots off Otis, but it might save us all a lot of time if you just got yourself a whiskey colored suit."

Name: MERLE DEAN (character=ANDY) Date: 03/05/97 12:30:09 CST

Name: Hodie (character=Rev. Harrison Breen) Date: 03/05/97 10:14:08 CST
Relax......slow down......take it easy......WHAT'S YOUR HURRY?!?!?!?!

Name: Milton P. Oliver (character=Barney) Date: 03/04/97 15:49:16 CST
"....No more carefree hours, no more doing whatever you want, whenever you want. No more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

Name: Nate Bracey (character=Andy) Date: 03/04/97 13:33:52 CST
"...and then you go over to her moootthers. And, it's a fun day. It's a fun day all way 'round."

Name: Otis Campbell (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 03/04/97 12:25:58 CST
"I aint talkin, I aint talkin...The more you ask, the more I'm balkin".

Name: MERLE DEAN (character=ANDY) Date: 03/04/97 11:57:55 CST

Name: Goober (character=Brisco Darlin) Date: 03/04/97 10:57:44 CST
"d'ya bring your stringin Insterment sherrif?" (Andy) "Why. i didn't thank we'd have time fer music" "got time to breathe, got time fer music" "how many strangs you used to?" (Andy) "well, theys six on my guitar" "Well, here one with 5, just kinda let that thumb hang free and enjooyy the music"

Name: Emma (character=Gomer) Date: 03/04/97 05:09:14 CST
"Shazam!!....A decoy!!"

Name: Edward (character=Barney) Date: 03/03/97 22:35:13 CST
Darn her mushrooms

Name: JohnnyPaul (character=Barney) Date: 03/03/97 17:04:56 CST
Thanks Aunt Bee....I'll smoke...I'll eat it later.

Name: JohnnyPaul (character=Barney) Date: 03/03/97 17:03:32 CST
Shooo fly.....He's dead!

Name: Emma (character=Andy and Barney) Date: 03/03/97 15:59:09 CST
"What's wrong with t.v. dinners, Barn..they're good..I like 'em."
"No you don't."

Name: Otis Campbell (character=Briscoe Darlin) Date: 03/03/97 12:17:17 CST
Miss Bee, three cuts of pie is my high water mark."

Name: Otis Campbell (character=Briscoe Darlin) Date: 03/03/97 12:16:15 CST
"Sheriff, that haircut of yorn may be city style, but your heart was shaped in a bowl"

Name: Elinora (character=Andy) Date: 03/03/97 10:00:04 CST
If you eat too much polar bear liver, it'll kill you.

Name: bap (character=Barney) Date: 03/03/97 07:26:15 CST

Name: Wally (character=Gentleman Dan Caldwell) Date: 03/02/97 21:53:11 CST
On my word as a gentleman.

Name: Emma (character=Andy) Date: 03/02/97 16:50:34 CST
"Somewhere between here and Denver there's seven million dollars headed for Mayberry...and you and me and Gomer and Laura Lee Hobbs..we're gonna be here to receive it."

Name: Goober (character=Andy and Barn) Date: 03/02/97 15:58:07 CST
"Hey Barn, say somethin like Santy Clause," "ho, ho, ho, merry christmas"

Name: Goober (character=Barney) Date: 03/02/97 15:56:49 CST
"nothin but dogs Andy, why, if you flew a quail through here every woman in here'd point".

Name: MiltonP.Oliver (character=Andy) Date: 03/02/97 12:27:10 CST
"I before e except after c and e before n in chicken."

Name: Emmett (character=Barney) Date: 03/02/97 10:46:23 CST
"I swallowed my gum!"

Name: Skippy (character=Floyd) Date: 03/01/97 23:57:33 CST
"And I've got the magazines to swing it!"

Name: Wally (character=Barney) Date: 03/01/97 23:46:48 CST
Dogs will look after each other...but boy those giraffes sure are selfish.

Name: MCB (character=Andy Taylor) Date: 03/01/97 18:44:19 CST
"I would throw the book at 'em. But Jennie would just throw the book back at Fred."

Name: Mrs.Brendlemight (character=Andy) Date: 03/01/97 17:09:32 CST
"If you eat any more you'll swell up so tight your freckles will fall off!!!"

Name: Opie (character=Barney) Date: 03/01/97 15:29:59 CST
"Boy, the fella that said that must be SOME kind of a nut."

Name: Otis Campbell (character=Andy) Date: 03/01/97 14:51:28 CST
"Call the man Aunt Bee, just call the man!"

Name: MCB (character=Clara Edwards{Johnson}) Date: 03/01/97 13:36:31 CST
"Will you look at that? MILDEW! You can't expect me to do anything with MILDEW?

Name: MCB (character=Barney) Date: 03/01/97 13:29:59 CST
"The bag,sweetheart! Open the bag!"

Name: Emma (character=Floyd) Date: 03/01/97 11:26:53 CST
"You shouldn't call a rich man by his first name, Barney."

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 03/01/97 11:26:05 CST

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 03/01/97 11:20:58 CST
"You can tell the Governor to put THAT in his smipe and poke it!"

Name: Emma (character=Goober) Date: 03/01/97 11:17:56 CST
"Real smoooth the way you floated that arm out there, Andy.....you too, Helen!"

Name: Wally (character=Big Maude) Date: 03/01/97 11:09:08 CST
Sorry bout the misquote. I meant to say There's nobody Home!

Name: WALLY (character=BIG MAUDE) Date: 03/01/97 11:01:15 CST

Name: Miss Peggy (character=Barney) Date: 03/01/97 08:40:52 CST
"If he'd a said one more word I'd be forced to be physical!"

Name: Otis (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 03/01/97 07:42:06 CST
"Your words say no, but your eyes say yes"

Name: Otis Campbell (character=Colonel Harvey) Date: 03/01/97 07:41:17 CST
There are none so blind as those who cannot see"

Name: mr.cookie bar (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 02/28/97 17:22:59 CST
"Sheriff said I could'nt throw anymore rocks. Didn't say nothin 'bout no bricks."

Name: Milton P. Oliver (character=Rafe Hollister) Date: 02/28/97 17:09:12 CST
Since everbody else is settin' I reckon I'll set too.

Name: Mrs.Brendlemight (character=Mr. Wheeler) Date: 02/28/97 11:28:09 CST
"Clouds and women are a lot alike. They are both there, but we don't appreciate them."

Name: Sarah (character=Barney) Date: 02/27/97 22:05:18 CST
Swings. We got lots of swings. We just don't use them at night.

Name: EMMA (character=BARNEY) Date: 02/27/97 21:52:49 CST

Name: Miss Peggy (character=Barney) Date: 02/27/97 18:38:39 CST
Did you know that knitters and crocheters seldom have stomach disorders?

Name: Otis Campbell (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 02/27/97 17:29:37 CST
"She's always good for eleven hatfulls"

Name: Otis Campbell (character=Barney) Date: 02/27/97 16:26:14 CST
"Where there is smoke, there is fire water!"