The Andy Griffith Show Quotes

Welcome to Miss Peggy's Post - a - Quote Archive Page.

Name: TOUGH GUY HODIE (character=ANDY) Date: 04/11/06 03:52:36 CDT
HERE COMES BARNEY FIFE A TRUE PIONEER

Name: HODIE SNITCH (character=BRISCO) Date: 04/11/06 03:46:31 CDT
SHES A BUGGIN

Name: NC Andy Fan (character=Ernest T) Date: 04/07/06 15:34:55 CDT
to Ms. Crump: I wanna write my sin-tence!

Name: NC Andy Fan (character=Darlin Boys) Date: 04/07/06 14:56:40 CDT
To the boys: How bout it boys?
Boys: _______

Name: NC Andy Fan (character=Andy) Date: 04/07/06 14:55:21 CDT
To Captain: I'm sorry Captain, I already ten-foured ya!
To Barney: Feels kinda good to get one in first for a change.

Name: NC Andy Fan (character=Barney) Date: 04/07/06 14:53:26 CDT
Welcome to check point Chickie!

Name: NC Andy Fan (character=Briscoe Darlin) Date: 04/07/06 14:49:47 CDT
to Goober in tree: Watch out big ears, there's a crazy owl flyin around up there.....

Name: Bill R (character=Andy) Date: 04/03/06 15:24:48 CDT
Barney! You beat everythin'... you know that?

Name: Mark Williamson (character=Gomer) Date: 03/14/06 08:37:42 CST
" Citizen's arrest, citizen's arrest"

Name: Mark Williamson (character=Barney) Date: 03/14/06 08:33:10 CST
" I got a uvula, you've got a uvula, all God's children got a uvula"

Name: Mark Williamson (character=Briscoe Darlin) Date: 03/14/06 08:31:38 CST
" Eatin' speaks louder than words"

Name: Kerri (character=Barney) Date: 03/04/06 08:56:47 CST
BARNEY:If only somebody would just commit a crime, one good crime! If only somebody would just kill somebody!
ANDY: Barney!
BARNEY: Oh, I don’t mean anybody we know, but…well, if a couple of strangers was to come into town, and, well if one of ‘em was gonna kill the other one anyways, they might just as well do it here.

Name: Patrick Houston (character=Andy) Date: 02/25/06 19:03:11 CST
"Gomer, get that gun outta your mouth!"

Name: Andy Kenny (character=judges at the pickle contest) Date: 02/09/06 13:35:23 CST
"Kerosene?"

"Precisely."

Name: Andy Kenny (character=Barney) Date: 02/09/06 13:33:13 CST
"Of course you smell gas. What do you think this car runs on, coal?"

Name: Andy Kenny (character=Andy) Date: 02/09/06 13:32:13 CST
"Little old ladies ought never to clank."

Name: Andy Kenney (character=Wally) Date: 01/26/06 12:53:43 CST
"Watch your foot. I'm rockin' forward."

Name: Julie (character=Andy & Aunt Bee) Date: 01/25/06 18:01:07 CST
When Andy is telling Opie how he and his friends used to grab little pieces of ice off the ice truck:
Andy: ...nothing like the taste of sawdust from the bottom of the ice truck. Somethin's gone out of life since then, you know it, Aunt Bee?
Bee: Uh-huh. Typhoid.

Name: Julie (character=Floyd) Date: 01/25/06 17:57:29 CST
Maud, Al! If those hamburgers are ruined, I won't be responsible!

Name: Grant (character=Charlene Darling) Date: 01/23/06 02:37:53 CST
To Briscoe when he suggests they sing 'Never hit your momma with a great big stick'
"No. That one always makes me cry"

Name: Lewis McCombs (character=Charlene Darling) Date: 12/18/05 16:37:18 CST
to Dud Wash when he gives her the tiger eye ring all the way from Spokane,Wash."Oh Dud you're the sweetest boy what ever growed"

Name: Lewis McCombs (character=Earnest T.) Date: 12/18/05 16:31:59 CST
"If Ida seed youa comin Ida knowed what to do,Ida riz both arms and wove at you"

Name: Lewis McCombs (character=Earnest T.) Date: 12/18/05 15:57:50 CST
to the Army doctor trying to examine his throat with a tongue depressor"you're welcome in there,but you gotta leave your stick outside"

Name: Lewis McCombs (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 12/18/05 15:50:45 CST
to Andy about filling his hat with water from the memorial horse trough:"They ain't a horse in sight,but if I see one I'll be sure to give him the right of way"

Name: Lewis McCombs (character=Earnest T.) Date: 12/18/05 11:13:14 CST
to Barney on having proper manners:"you can afford to be mighty proud of yourself"

Name: Lewis McCombs (character=Earnest T.) Date: 12/18/05 11:07:19 CST
to Miss Crump:"you always wanna do sumpin else when I wanna do sumpin else".

Name: Lewis McCombs (character=Earnest T.) Date: 12/18/05 10:49:58 CST
wanted a uniform because all the girls made such a fuss over Jelsick Sturm saying"Jelsick walk with me,Jelsick dance with me,Jelsick kiss my mouth"

Name: paul (character=OTIS) Date: 12/13/05 15:33:52 CST
PIPE DOWN! I'M WAITING FOR THE WORLD TO TURN AROUND,TO CATCH MY BED!

Name: Andy Kenny (character=Malcolm Tucker and Andy) Date: 11/02/05 12:53:05 CST
Malcolm: "Why do they leave a boy like that in charge, anyway?"

Andy: "Oh, it's just a part-time job. He saving up for college - wants to be a doctor."

Name: Andy Kenny (character=Gomer) Date: 11/02/05 12:48:18 CST
Let me look! You never do let me look!

Name: Zach (character=Barney) Date: 10/07/05 19:17:37 CDT
You know what they call me? Fast-gun fife

Name: Marie (character=Thelma Lou to Andy) Date: 10/01/05 20:51:13 CDT
Thelma Lou: He's the man I love the one I want to be the father of my children. Be he can't sing.

Andy: Not a lick

T Lou: not a lick, Andy not a lick

Name: nobody (character=earnest t. bass) Date: 09/13/05 12:17:18 CDT
Ms. Crump asking Earnest what is 25 plus 25 and Earnest stops and thinks and then taps dances his feet... "Fifty!"

Name: Sandy (character=Barney) Date: 08/27/05 10:01:52 CDT
That's all it is...mulberry squeezins (choked up)

Name: Sandy (character=Andy) Date: 08/27/05 10:01:19 CDT
Oh it's nothin...just Aunt Bee and Opie with a wagon full of meat and a pack-a dogs chasing 'em...I'll see ya Merle.

Name: Sandy (character=Earnest-T) Date: 08/27/05 09:58:52 CDT
She called me a creachter!

Name: Sandy (character=Briscoe Darlin) Date: 08/27/05 09:57:47 CDT
Stop that boy..you want your face to grow thataway?

Name: Sandy (character=Briscoe Darlin) Date: 08/27/05 09:57:15 CDT
Well we thought about killin him but we really hated to go that far

Name: Sandy (character=Briscoe Darlin) Date: 08/27/05 09:56:16 CDT
Is he one-a ours? More power to ya

Name: Paul (character=Andy and Ernest T) Date: 08/24/05 20:32:28 CDT
Andy: Ernest T, you're not stupid, you're just ignorant.

Name: joe (character=barney) Date: 08/14/05 20:25:28 CDT
The tears on my pillow bespeak the pain that's within my heart!

Name: joe (character=andy) Date: 08/14/05 20:24:18 CDT
Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!

Name: joe (character=barney) Date: 08/14/05 20:22:52 CDT
Gas 'er up chickie baby!

Name: joe (character=briscoe) Date: 08/14/05 20:21:34 CDT
Charlene, will you put that boy down!

Name: Andy Kenny (character=Gomer) Date: 08/08/05 13:25:55 CDT
"She's an 8-cylinder, she'll take 8."

Name: Paul (character=Barney) Date: 07/25/05 06:23:49 CDT
All God's children got a UVULA.

Name: .crack.monkeh. (character=Barney and Andy) Date: 07/22/05 16:00:10 CDT
Barney: Andy I got great news! My throat ain't sore after all! And you know that lump you seen? That's the uvela! Doc says everybody's got one! Open your mouth, Andy. Yep, there's the good ol' uvela! I got a uvela, you got a uvela, all God's chillin' got a uvela!
Andy: Hallelujah.

Name: .crack.monkeh. (character=Otis, Judd, Goober, Barney) Date: 07/22/05 15:56:31 CDT
Otis: He threw a tomato at me. Why'd ya throw a tomato at me, Barn?
Judd: I wish he'd throw something at me. I haven't had my lunch yet.
Goober: Only two kinda of cops, the quick and the dead! Right, Barn?
Barney: HOLD IT! (moment of silence) I think I've heard just about enough about that tomato.

Name: .crack.monkeh. (character=Drunken Barney to Andy) Date: 07/22/05 15:52:43 CDT
Barney: She's in trouble Andy... WHY don't they call?!
(phone rings)
Barney: What a time for the phone to ring...

Name: George Saply (character=Leon) Date: 06/23/05 13:47:34 CDT

Name: George Saply (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 06/23/05 13:28:21 CDT
Move us TOO! Move us TOO! Move us TOO!

Name: George Saply (character=Barney (to Ed Sawyer the "stranger in town")) Date: 06/23/05 13:27:05 CDT
Sprecken the Doich?!

Name: Kyle (character=(Character=Gomer Pyle)) Date: 06/19/05 18:15:16 CDT
Shazam, Shazam, Shazam !!!!!!!!!!

Name: Amanda (character=Ernest T Bass) Date: 06/18/05 18:28:04 CDT
"You didn't say nothin bout heaven no bricks"

Name: Amanda (character=Gomer) Date: 06/18/05 18:25:50 CDT
"I woulda picked more, but the lady rapped on the winder.

Name: Paul (character=Aunt Bee and Andy) Date: 06/16/05 05:51:26 CDT
Aunt Bee: Opie, we need to go see about getting you some new jeans.
Andy: Again? I swear that boy goes through jeans like he was wearing sandpaper underwear.

Name: Cody (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 06/09/05 14:19:26 CDT
Is he one of ours?

Name: Cody (character=Andy and Aunt Bee) Date: 06/09/05 14:18:42 CDT
Andy: Aren't they a little young to start history?
Aunt Bee: I guess not. There's more of it these days.

Name: cody (character=brisco darlin) Date: 06/05/05 20:49:02 CDT
its like my heart talkin to your heart

Name: cody (character=ernest t bass) Date: 06/05/05 20:48:01 CDT
i'm gon break that winder

Name: Beverly (character=Andy to Opie) Date: 05/31/05 15:46:31 CDT
But aren't the trees nice and full.

Name: Curt (character=Barney) Date: 05/25/05 12:45:21 CDT
"Gomer, get down there with those spiders!"

Name: Paul (character=Opie and Aunt Bee) Date: 05/24/05 14:21:42 CDT
Aunt Bee: Opie, you need to go next door and see Floyd about a haircut.
Opie: But Aunt Bee, those little hairs get down my neck and they itch like crazy.
Aunt Bee: Well, after the haircut, go home and take a bath.
Opie: Wow, a haircut and a bath the same day. This is turning out worse than I thought.

Name: Paul (character=Andy to Barney) Date: 05/21/05 11:46:58 CDT
When speaking of the mysterious stranger who seems to know everybody and everything in town:
Andy: Oh, oh, you mean he's here to learn all our secrets? You mean like how we make 'possum pie, and turnip jam . . . lawwwww, you don't think he's here to find out how we make fried chicken and jonny cakes?

Name: Andy Kenny (character=Andy) Date: 05/19/05 11:06:09 CDT
"Barney, I don't believe that dog could find his own food dish."

Name: robert (character=) Date: 05/18/05 16:50:13 CDT
Did you say you were gonna dickie up the hooter?

Name: Paul (character=Aunt Bee, yes, BEE, not BEA) Date: 05/18/05 10:34:25 CDT
Opie: But Aunt Bee, he kicked me right in the pit of my back.
Aunt Bee: Tomorrow I'll rub it down with some witch hazel.
Opie: Witch hazel makes my eyes water.
Aunt Bee: Okay, you won't see so well, but you'll feel better.

Name: Andy Kenny (character=Andy and Ernest T. Bass) Date: 05/17/05 11:43:21 CDT
"Ernest T., let me ask you something - did your mother ever used to hit you?"

"Oh, yes. She was wonderful!"

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Andy (about Floyd)) Date: 05/05/05 14:55:40 CDT
When Floyd was a youngun, he used to practice on cats. We had the baldest cats in the county.

Name: Belinda (character=Barney Fife) Date: 04/18/05 14:42:59 CDT
It's time to nip it, nip it in the bud!

Name: Belinda (character=Andy) Date: 04/18/05 14:41:42 CDT
If somebody ask you to marry them, the polite thing to do is marry them back.

Name: Rob (character=Aunt Bea) Date: 03/17/05 11:44:34 CST
Aunt Bea -"Must have been one of those savages" Andy - "That'd be my guess"

Name: Kaila (character=Barney) Date: 03/06/05 16:25:09 CST
He's a nut!

Name: Mike (character=Andy and Gomer) Date: 03/04/05 23:04:49 CST
Gomer: I think I'll go to Foley's market. They're looking for an experienced butcher.

Andy: You know anything about cuttin meat?

Gomer: Think they'll ask me that?

Name: Alana (character=Andy) Date: 03/01/05 14:24:21 CST
There are worse things than being a stupid hic. Like a hungry one.

Name: gary webb (character=roger) Date: 02/06/05 12:34:57 CST
hang it on the wall.

Name: Dean Bass (character=The Fun Girls) Date: 02/05/05 16:21:26 CST
"Just shut up, Bernie...shut up"

Name: Dean Bass (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 02/05/05 16:02:21 CST
"It's me...it's me...it's Ernest T....."

Name: Dean Bass (character=Aunt Bea) Date: 02/05/05 15:59:25 CST
drunk at piano with Opie standing by her....."Toot,Toot,Tootsie...good bye....Toot, Toot, Tootsie...don't cry..."

Name: Dean Bass (character=The Fun Girls) Date: 02/05/05 15:57:46 CST
#1......"Hello, doll"
#2...."Hi Bernie"

Name: karen daigle (character=Floyd Lawson) Date: 02/01/05 14:42:02 CST
We had the baldest cats in town!

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Otis) Date: 01/26/05 13:44:30 CST
Oh no Andy. I'm stone cold sober.
But I spect I'll get over it.

Name: John (character=Briscoe) Date: 01/17/05 14:56:55 CST
Thought about killin' him, kinda hated to go that far.

Name: Savannah (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 01/11/05 18:22:49 CST
I want to read my sentence!

Name: Brianna (character=brianna to barney) Date: 12/31/04 20:55:27 CST
Hello, barney do you now that you look like 20 but you are 24000 ..........

Name: omar (character=barney) Date: 12/31/04 20:49:42 CST
Hello,barney you are a big on t.v, but you are to fat to fit on t.v.. Raely FAT

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Andy to Barney) Date: 12/10/04 12:30:22 CST
Here's one more bullet! Keep it in your pocket.
And the next time you take your shirts to the laundry.....unload!

Name: WE4BB (character=Earnest T Bass) Date: 10/15/04 16:35:17 EDT
Andy: "Earnest T. Bass!
ETB: "One and the same, Bass is the name."

Name: buck rogers (character=fife) Date: 08/18/04 15:47:54 PDT
im gonna get them duke boys

Name: cRaSh (character=Barney and Andy) Date: 07/28/04 10:08:58 EDT
Barney: Dogs, Andy nothing but Dogs.
Andy: BARNEY!!
Barney: Andy, if you flew a quail throw this room, every woman in here would point.

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Briscoe Darlin') Date: 06/24/04 09:22:16 EDT
If it's charity, we want no part of it. We aim to hold onto our place in the community.

Name: Mr. Schwump (character=Barney) Date: 06/21/04 15:46:55 EDT
(of the loaded goat)
"He's liable to charge this desk any minute."

Name: ss (character=Barn) Date: 06/21/04 15:27:34 EDT
"nifty blonde like that.. blonde right out of a bottle! genuine blonde right out of a bottle!!"

Name: anonymous (character=Gomer) Date: 06/21/04 15:17:18 EDT
to Barney: "Give me some kind of sentence to say."

Name: Miss Peggy (character=Barney) Date: 06/21/04 15:16:18 EDT
(to Gomer, regarding his slicked-back hair, before his big date)
"If you could just get some kind of a wave.."

Name: EP from NC (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 06/21/04 15:08:08 EDT
That owl must be from out of state.

Name: Thelma Lou (character=Gomer) Date: 06/21/04 15:06:27 EDT
Reckon 'at uz him hollern!?

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Barney) Date: 06/10/04 11:34:51 EDT
Another buffalo pointin' the wrong way!

Name: Lindsey Gray (character=Otis) Date: 06/05/04 23:18:25 EDT
(knock knock knock) Know what that means? Barney's in Jail!! Barney's in jail!!

Name: Kahlie Sue (character=Charlene to Brisco bout Anj) Date: 05/19/04 13:11:56 EDT
"Aint he perty paw?"

Name: robert W. Johnson (character=ernest T) Date: 05/08/04 16:04:14 EDT
I nknow how to get a possum out from under a rock, poke em out or smoke em out. take rock with pointedy point poke em out.

Name: Robert W. Johnson (character=ernest T.) Date: 05/08/04 16:02:15 EDT
Possum under a rock! smoke em out or poke em out I know how to get possum out from under a rock!

Name: John (character=Andy and Barney) Date: 05/06/04 14:30:45 EDT
Barney: she sweet talked me Andy?
Andy: sweet talked ya? What did she say?
Barney: she said Barney ...Honey....Sugar....Creeeeeeeeampuuuuff

Name: John (character=Otis (getting out of jail)) Date: 05/06/04 12:45:34 EDT
with accomodations like this I might not come back

Name: Clint (character=Opie) Date: 05/01/04 00:05:54 EDT
Hey Pa, ain't it a bute

Name: John (character=Barney's judo instructor) Date: 04/29/04 16:15:28 EDT
You stop this fight, barney get killed!

Name: John (character=Andy) Date: 04/29/04 15:49:20 EDT
(reading headline from Opie's school newspaper)

Andy Taylor says preacher's dry as dust?!?!

Name: John (character=Andy (reading to Opie)) Date: 04/29/04 15:18:11 EDT
What light through yonder winder breaks

Name: John (character=Andy & John Masters) Date: 04/27/04 13:28:23 EDT
Andy: It'll kill em.

John Masters: A hundred years from now who will know the difference.

Andy: Well Barney's not the kind to forget.

Name: John (character=Andy and Gomer) Date: 04/26/04 15:33:23 EDT
Gomer: (bucket on head) The Sarge says it'll help me to think. And he's right I've just been thinking and thinking and thinking.
Andy: what have you been thinking about?
Gomer: How easy it is to think under here.

Name: John (character=Barney) Date: 04/26/04 12:57:41 EDT
Well, there were these folks and ... well how else were they gonna get emancipated unless they had a proclamation. So they got themselves a proclamation and they called it the Emancipation Proclamation. I'm surprised at you not knowin' that Anj.

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Barney) Date: 04/21/04 13:38:27 EDT
One thing about Gypsies though, they're moody!

Name: Keith (character=Barney) Date: 04/15/04 20:53:59 EDT
"Mayberry...gateway to danger."

Name: Sherri (character=Aunt Bea) Date: 04/11/04 19:09:58 EDT
"Goober don't move!"

Name: James Hinkle (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 04/11/04 19:07:23 EDT
"Goober don't move!" - Aunt Bea

Name: Hannah (character=Barney (to Juanita) Date: 04/09/04 21:24:44 EDT
"From your head down to your feet, there is nothing quite as sweet; as Juanita, Juanita, lovely, dear Juanite."

Name: Pete (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 03/09/04 11:57:28 EST
"who you call'n ah creetchter"

Name: Lucious Pyle (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 03/04/04 15:10:02 EST
The boys are all keyed up.

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Floyd) Date: 02/25/04 10:29:12 EST
A two chair barbershop! I got the magazines to swing it!

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Andy (to Barney)) Date: 02/25/04 10:27:56 EST
Floyd's right! One of your lobes is longer than the other!

Name: Doogie (character=Ramona and Ernest T on the Porch...) Date: 02/23/04 08:52:36 EST
Ramona: "It rained last Tuesday."
Ernest T: "Yeh...I was right there in it."

Name: Kimberly (character=Andy & Barney) Date: 02/16/04 13:20:55 EST
Barn: Ain't chicken spelled 'i-n'?
Andy: No, he's got it right... 'i' before 'e' except after 'c', and 'e' before 'n' in chicken.
Barn: I always forget that rule.

Name: Mayberry (I'd swear it) (character=Briscoe and Charlene Darlin') Date: 02/06/04 13:34:38 EST
How 'bout Tearin' yer ole clothes up fer Rags..(no response)...ok, en how 'bout Slimy River Bottom......Aw pa, that'n makes me cry.

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Andy) Date: 01/28/04 16:30:15 EST
Hey Barn! Watch those clothes pins. They have awful strong springs!

Name: Missy (character=Briscoe Darlin) Date: 01/17/04 01:21:27 EST
That really twangs my buds-(he said about Aunt Bea's cooking)

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Andy ) Date: 01/16/04 09:55:34 EST
Well I'll be dogged, Tom Silvy!
I ain't seen you since.......your funeral!

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Brisco Darlin and Andy) Date: 01/15/04 14:27:42 EST
Brisco: There's witchery in your family!
Andy: Just a little on my mama's side!

Name: SallyfromJersey (character=Andy's southernisms) Date: 11/25/03 12:14:13 EST
(about Barney)
That boy is as nervous as a cat in room full of rocking chairs.

(about something frustrating)
It was like trying to sew buttons on custard pie.

Name: SallyfromJersey (character=Andy) Date: 11/25/03 12:07:03 EST
(to Aunt Bea)
Aaain't Bea, you are the button in the Cap of Kindness!

Name: Mike (character=Bobby Fleet) Date: 11/20/03 22:18:00 EST
If they had a beauty contest in this town nobody would win

Name: frank strohkirch (character=warren) Date: 10/29/03 20:11:57 EST
just posted one but didnt fill a blank. i started out as ole rafe but5 since their was so many i switched to warren. know what i mean?

Name: frank strohkirch (character=penny pinching barney-- lincoln, il.) Date: 10/29/03 20:07:01 EST
i started out as ole rafe however there seems to be a lot of them, know what i mean huh! huh! HUH. so i am taking up the chacter of warren. know what i mean. huh!

Name: Susan Savia (character=Thelma Lou) Date: 10/25/03 17:42:04 EDT
THELMA LOU: Barrrrney!!!
ANDY: I don't believe I've ever seen anything like that before.

Name: Ken (character=Rafe Hollister) Date: 10/23/03 10:40:28 EDT
Look down, look down, that lonesome road
Before you travel on.
Look up, look up, and seek your maker
'Fore Gabrial blows his horn.
Weary totin' such a load
Dredging down that lonesome road?
Look down, look down, that lonesome road
Before you travel on.

Name: George Murray (character=Barney) Date: 10/22/03 22:04:20 EDT
Andy to Barney: "...you're a fine son, Barn.."

Name: Ramona (character=Andy) Date: 10/09/03 10:52:36 EDT
(Talking to Barney, who has locked himself in a cell) "No more peanut butter sandwiches"

Name: Ramona (character=Goober) Date: 10/09/03 10:49:39 EDT
(Talking about his cousin Gomer's boat going 60 mph) "That's fast on water"

Name: Ramona (character=Floyd) Date: 10/09/03 10:47:37 EDT
"Al, if these burgers burn, it won't be my fault!

Name: Ramona (character=Gomer to Barney and Andy) Date: 10/09/03 10:45:39 EDT
Andy: How you doin' back there, Gomer?

Gomer: Sick as a dog, but havin' the time of my life!

Name: The Kimmer (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 09/19/03 13:24:24 EDT
We thought about killin'him but kinda hated to go that far.

Name: johnny5 (character=andy to opie about barney) Date: 08/30/03 23:33:28 EDT
winkin'll tell blinkin , blinkin'll tell nod, nod'll tell barney , and barney'll tell you

Name: johnny5 (character=otis) Date: 08/30/03 23:27:50 EDT
slow that down and let me in or i"ll go out and drink some gin!!!

Name: Rick S (character=GOMER) Date: 07/28/03 23:46:32 EDT
(when Gomer stayed all night with Andy)... and he was singing "no count mule kickin' on a tin can" and he threw the sheets, back and said "whooo!" and then he leaned out the window trying to whisper to Luther about his truck "it's your shocks"

Name: david farah from chas (character=ernest t bass) Date: 07/17/03 16:15:05 EDT
"If I'd knowd you were comin I'd knowd what to do.I'dv raised both arms and waved to you."

Name: William Uchtman (character=Barney (Repeating Graffiti About Himself From Off The Bank)) Date: 06/16/03 13:04:02 EDT
"There once was a deputy called Fife,
Who carried a gun and a knife.
The gun was all rusty,
And the knife was all dusty,
Cause he never caught a crook in his life."

(Barney blamed it on Opie, but as Andy pointed out, "he can't read and write yet.")

Name: TOM McMILLAN (character=SAM JONES) Date: 06/13/03 18:12:21 EDT
It has been quite an election.

Name: KD (character=Bobby Fleet) Date: 05/19/03 14:43:22 EDT
Ain't you got a jack? - Goober

Name: K. Darnell (character=Bobby Fleet) Date: 05/19/03 13:52:38 EDT
Them was the amenines! Now you just don't shout out the amenines! - Barney

Name: Trav (character=andy) Date: 05/05/03 19:49:34 EDT
"Oh that was good that was extraaa good"

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Floyd) Date: 04/30/03 14:09:12 EDT
Everybody talks about the weather, but noboby does anything about it. You know who said that? Calvin Coolidge.

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Barney and Goober) Date: 04/07/03 16:25:34 EDT
Barney: "You know what your sheriff has in the trunk of his squadcar in case of emergency...a shovel and a rake"!
Goober: "Ain't you got a jack"?

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Barney) Date: 04/07/03 16:20:58 EDT
"Now that's bullet maintenance".

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Floyd) Date: 04/07/03 16:05:57 EDT
"You know who said that...my latin teacher in barber college".

Name: Rise (character=Ernest T. Bass on learning to read) Date: 04/03/03 11:59:55 EST
No hunt for wear open and close no credit.

Name: Megan (character=Thelma Lou) Date: 03/28/03 21:25:29 EST
HELEN: Are You Sure It's Business?
ANDY: No, But That's The Only Excuse I Can Think Of.

Name: Kevin (character=Barney and Floyd) Date: 03/26/03 16:45:13 EST
FLOYD: I didn't know O'malley had money
BARNEY: Oh yea. You ever heard of O'malley's orthopedic loafers? ...yea, he knew where the money was.
FLOYD: Feet, huh?
BARNEY: Daddy you are soooo right.

Name: Debi (character=Ernest T Bass) Date: 03/26/03 16:40:42 EST
I can't hear your ameninnies!!!

Name: Kevin (character=Barney) Date: 03/26/03 16:39:06 EST
(Barney talking about an old girlfriend to Andy)...You know there's one thing she used to do that really burned me up. I'd show up at her house with a grape snow cone, and I'd offer her a bite. You know what she did, she'd bite off the bottom of the cone, suck out all the syrup and leave me nothing but the ice. ....You know what I'd do if I saw her now? I'd show up at her door with a grape snow cone, and when she answered the door, I'd bite off the bottom, suck out the syrup and hand her the ice! Now what do you think about that??!!

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Goober and Andy) Date: 03/05/03 14:33:01 EST
Goober: Helen, is there anything wrong with my eyes, you're a teacher.
Andy: Why don't you ask Floyd, he's a barber.
Andy: There's nothing wrong with your eyes, Goober.
Goober: How do you know?
Andy: Cause I'm the sheriff.

Name: Crystal (character=Enest T. Bass) Date: 03/03/03 20:59:47 EST
"How do you do Mrs. Wiley"

Name: Wilbert (character=Barney) Date: 03/03/03 20:59:05 EST
"WE DEFY THE MAFIA"

Name: TherapeticInarculator (character=Andy to Rafe ) Date: 02/14/03 12:21:22 EST
Don't that clutch ya?

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Barney) Date: 02/13/03 14:42:55 EST
Who you callin' a squirt?

Name: Jerry W. (character=Barney to Thelma Lou) Date: 01/23/03 20:57:26 EST
"Your the cats!!!"

Name: TherapeticInarculator (character=Barney to Thelma Lou) Date: 01/16/03 15:16:18 EST
This is what we call the deadly game. I'm in it for keeps.

Name: TherapeticInarculator (character=Barney to Bob Rogers) Date: 01/15/03 11:24:09 EST
"Just trying to teach you a lesson son. You can't get too technical, not when you're dealin' with people. Savvy?"
"One day all the pieces'll fall into place, then you'll see the big picture."

Name: Pete (character=Andy (most often to Barney)) Date: 01/13/03 10:31:50 EST
"You beat ever-thang, you know that!?"

Name: Jerry W. (character=Barney) Date: 12/25/02 08:52:16 EST
HO! HO! HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Name: Jerry W. (character=Andy (thinking out loud)) Date: 12/23/02 19:48:44 EST
Episode 12 Ellie For Council-"Otis was right,all they understand is a leg of lamb!"

Name: TherapeticInarculator (character=Emma Brand) Date: 12/18/02 10:00:11 EST
Alright! I come lookin' for justice, and it's blind! To think I voted for you for Sheriff. Never considered anybody else. BAD, BAD Sheriff!

Name: Ebo Walker (character=Andy) Date: 12/16/02 13:04:49 EST
I guess that's how it is in the manhunt game, sometimes you bag 'em, sometimes you don't.

Name: TherapeticInarculator (character=Andy/Barney) Date: 12/16/02 13:01:51 EST
Barney: He got the drop on me!
Andy: He had a gun?
Barney: Well, he has now!

Name: Jerry (character=Otis Campbell) Date: 12/15/02 23:00:45 EST
"I came to fill my vase!"

Name: Jerry (character=Helen to Barney) Date: 12/15/02 22:50:36 EST
"He'll kill you!"

Name: Collie (character=andy) Date: 12/15/02 10:37:19 EST
coo coo ho ho wish you a merry christmas and a party I love you

Name: david farah (character=party girl) Date: 12/15/02 10:32:15 EST
"hello doll"

Name: david f (character=ernest t bass) Date: 12/15/02 10:29:27 EST
"if I'd knowd you was coming i'd knowd what to do....I'd raised both arms and I'd waived to you"

Name: James Stalcup (character=Andy & Barney about Ernest T.) Date: 12/13/02 20:37:23 EST
Ernest T. Bass,"Stop that weddin'!!!Barney,He's shootin' again!!" Andy,"stop worryin',he ain't gonna shoot the woman he loves!!"

Name: James Stalcup (character=Andy,Barney,& miss Crump) Date: 12/11/02 20:44:25 EST
(about Ernest T.Bass)Barney:i'm tellin ya just 5 minutes out behind the jail!!" Miss Crump:"he'd kill you Barney."

Name: James Stalcup (character=Ernest T.Bass) Date: 12/11/02 20:32:13 EST
"jelsik,Walk with me,Jelsik Daince with me,Jelsik,kiss my mouth!

Name: Holly Russell (character=Ernest T) Date: 11/17/02 22:24:25 EST
It's me, it's me, it's Ernest T.

Name: jake (character=andy to barney) Date: 11/09/02 18:26:57 EST
Next time I go tiger hunting, I'm gonna take my tweezers.

Name: Sammy Jo (character=Charlene Darlin ) Date: 11/09/02 18:21:47 EST
Aw Paw, can't I even look at the purty man?

Name: jake (character=Andy) Date: 11/09/02 18:17:29 EST
I won't need it Barn, Fluffy and I've been friends for years.

Name: Ebo Walker (character=Barney ) Date: 11/04/02 14:32:06 EST
Look if you want Gomer in the choir, put him behind some girls. He won't obtrude.

Name: Ebo Walker (character=Barney to Andy and Opie) Date: 11/04/02 14:16:58 EST
There once was a deputy named Fife,
Who carried a gun and a knife,
But the gun was all dusty and the knife was all rusty,
'Cause he never caught a crook in his life.

Name: Ebo Walker (character=Barney to Andy) Date: 10/30/02 09:45:00 EST
"Oh, it'll be a red letter day in Mayberry if the entire Lady's Church Aide Committee gets crocked!"

Name: Andrew (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 10/25/02 09:41:29 EDT
"Well we thought about killin' him, kindda hated to go that far." Briscoe speaking (of Ernest T. Bass) to Andy and Barney

Name: Andrew (character=Briscoe to Andy) Date: 10/23/02 09:55:13 EDT
"There Bees witchery in your family!"

Name: Ebo Walker (character=Gomer) Date: 10/11/02 12:41:44 EDT
"What a dumb trick. That was the dumbest trick. Barney don't you ever call me dumb again. Swell party, but what a dumb trick."

Name: Ebo Walker (character=Briscoe to Andy) Date: 10/08/02 14:21:29 EDT
Just jump in where ya can and hang on! Uh one ana two,....

Name: TherapeticInarculator (character=Briscoe to Andy & Barney) Date: 10/07/02 14:32:45 EDT
We thought about killin' him, kinda hated to take it that far.

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Opie (and Thelma Lou) to Barney) Date: 09/27/02 09:04:11 EDT
Thelma Lou: Ask Barney why he wants to go up to the Duck Pond.
Opie: Why do you want to go up to the Duck Pond with Thelma Lou, Barney?

Name: stephanie (character=ernest t bass ) Date: 09/26/02 18:02:31 EDT
What does the T stand for in Ernest T Bass? Please let me know asap thanks sma
maillady35@chartertn.net

Name: Bobby (character=Andy to Barney) Date: 09/24/02 17:23:42 EDT
I thought Aunt Bea would never get her junk off last night, i just had to lick and lick and lick

Name: Kimberly-a genuine blond from a bottle (character=The mayor's daughter) Date: 09/10/02 11:37:23 EDT
Flow gently sweet afton.....

Name: Blue (character=Brisco Darling) Date: 08/15/02 10:35:01 EDT
Ya got time to breathe,ya got time to sing.

Name: Wendy (character=Barney (about Ernest T's chances at Mrs. Wiley's)) Date: 08/14/02 18:57:07 EDT
Barney: "Well, he's got slim pickens here. Dogs, nothing but dogs."
Andy: "Oh, Barney."
Barney: "Andy, if you flew a quail through this room, every woman in it would point."
Andy: "Barney, now stop it."

Name: Wendy (character=Ernest T on being rejected:) Date: 08/14/02 18:52:04 EDT
"I guess I'll give up the idea of femaleing. Batchelor life ain't too bad if'n you git some squirrels and chipmunks to move in with ya."

"I'll jest go back to the hills and hermitize myself."

Name: Hilda Mae (character=Barney (to Andy)) Date: 08/05/02 15:05:28 EDT
It's a good thing she's not campaigning for folks to have their eyes checked, one kiss on your jaw and we'd all be wearing glasses... if she ever kissed you on the lips we'd all have to have our appendix taken out.

Name: Hilda Mae (character=Andy (to Rafe Hollister)) Date: 08/05/02 15:03:35 EDT
Dig my grave
With a silver spade
Dig my grave
Wide and deep

Tell 'em I died
To save 'em all
Tell my wife
To marry again.

Don't that clutch ya?

Name: Hilda Mae (character=Andy) Date: 08/05/02 14:59:28 EDT
Well Barn, you done it again.

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Briscoe Darlin) Date: 08/01/02 16:00:50 EDT
"Take Rodney there. He's strong as an Ox, and almost as smart."

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Barney) Date: 08/01/02 15:58:31 EDT
"One thing about gypsy's though, they're moody".

Name: Kory M. (character=Andy) Date: 07/27/02 14:36:31 EDT
Hey Barn, watch those clothes pins, they've got awful strong springs.

Name: One L (character=Andy to Barney) Date: 07/21/02 14:25:35 EDT
"I might not have time....I might be too busy explaining why you want to go to the duck pond."

Name: One L (character=Andy to Barney) Date: 07/21/02 14:25:33 EDT
"I might not have time....I might be too busy explaining why you want to go to the duck pond."

Name: JC (character=Opie and Andy) Date: 07/19/02 16:29:58 EDT
I've never seen one paw
Seen one what?
Half a boy

Poor Horatio

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Briscoe Darlin) Date: 07/17/02 16:16:33 EDT
Perfectly good hoot owl. Just plain wasted.

Name: gabe (character=ANDY TO OPIE) Date: 07/04/02 04:59:56 EDT
if your head can be turned by a pretty face at your age heaven help you when you older

Name: Dixie Lee Edwards (character=Luke) Date: 06/26/02 19:13:14 EDT
"Didn't you hear the man?! He said he can't think straight when he's sober!

Name: Rock & Roll Rosie From Raliegh (character=Briscoe) Date: 06/26/02 19:09:42 EDT
"Got time to breath, got time for music."

Name: Larry Canter (character=Andy) Date: 06/20/02 20:51:01 EDT
Ernest T's not the kind to bust out a street lighe an' then stand around in thhe dark lookin' for his rock!

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Andy) Date: 06/11/02 16:16:38 EDT
That's a fine plan, Barn. You win your girl and you lose your eye!

Name: peek (character=asa) Date: 05/23/02 17:00:45 EDT
"i've heard about your bullet barney,thats beautiful!"

Name: joe (character=andy) Date: 05/23/02 15:45:10 EDT
"don't that just clutch ya?"

Name: Flora from the diner (character=Floyd after Goober assembled the car inside the courthouse) Date: 05/21/02 12:42:04 EDT
It was a beautiful thing to watch.
Also:
You know Andy, I might just buy this car...Goober thinks I might can get it at a good price.

Name: Flora from the diner (character=Aunt Bee and Opie (after Aunt Bee has had some Indian Elixer") Date: 05/21/02 12:38:53 EDT
too-too-Tootsie goodbye, too-too-Tootsie don't cry

Name: Flora from the diner (character=Howard Sprague (as a comic)) Date: 05/21/02 12:37:05 EDT
there's telephone, telegraph and tell Floyd

Name: William Uchtman (character=Barney) Date: 05/15/02 09:29:35 EDT
"It's just the light, like Andy said."

Name: Benboe (character=Barney) Date: 05/13/02 21:51:32 EDT
Hi.

Name: Charlie C. (character=Barney) Date: 05/13/02 17:23:39 EDT
"Andy and me,and Baby makes three."

Name: Andy (character=The Darlin's) Date: 05/13/02 12:03:57 EDT
Now Dooley was a good 'ol man he lived below the mill
Dooley had two daughters and a 40 gallon still.
One gal watched the boiler the other watched the spout.
And mama corked the bottles as 'ol dooley fetched them out.
Dooley, slippin' up the holler, Dooley; tryin' to make a dollar.
Dooley give me a swaller and I'll pay you back some day.
The revenuers laid for him a slippin' through the woods, but Dooley got behind them all and never lost his goods.
Now Dooley was a trader when into town he'd come (?) Sugar by the barrel and molasses by the drum (?).
I remember very well the day 'ol Dooley died. The women folks looked sorry and the men stood around and cried.
Now Dooley's on the mountain, he lies there all alone. They put his jug beside him and a barrel for a stone.

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Barney and Goober) Date: 05/09/02 14:46:09 EDT
Barney: Do you know what your sheriff has in the trunk of his squad car for emergencies? A shovel and a rake!
Goober: Don't you have a jack?

Name: Dereck from Pittsburgh (character=Sheriff AndyTaylor) Date: 05/02/02 10:27:48 EDT
Andy says the line "wait a minute!!" in just about EVERYepisode!! Watch and listen for yourself...

Wait-uh-minute Mayor !/ Wait-uh-minute Jubil! / Wait-uh-minute Ope! and ON AND ON!!!!

WAIT A MINUTE!!!!! my favorite Mayberry quote!

Name: TONY PETTIT (character=BARNEY) Date: 04/27/02 15:16:01 MD
WOMEN THEY'RE ALL NUTS

Name: Tom C (character=Gomer) Date: 04/26/02 23:17:50 MD
How'd you do that with your voice?

Name: Emily (character=Opie) Date: 04/26/02 16:16:07 MD
"The British is comein' the British is coming get ya guns we gonna have us a revalution!"

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Floyd) Date: 04/18/02 12:41:09 MD
"I'm goin' to Nashville"

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Barney (to Andy)) Date: 04/18/02 12:35:50 MD
"Another Buffalo facing the wrong way"

Name: TONY PETTIT (character=ANDY) Date: 04/14/02 15:12:15 MD
(to and about barney)HAD A JAIL AND COULDN'T LOCK IT HAD ONE BULLET FOR HIS PISTOL HAD TO KEEP IT IN HIS POCKET

Name: DARLENE P (character=BARNEY) Date: 04/14/02 15:07:23 MD
HE'S A NUT

Name: TONY PETTIT (character=ANDY) Date: 04/14/02 14:57:05 MD
HE'D KILL YA

Name: tony pettit (character=barney) Date: 04/14/02 14:52:47 MD
alright shake down , shake down time

Name: Jubil Foster (character=Floyd) Date: 04/11/02 11:55:46 MD
Better call him Al.

Name: adam hunt (character=gomer and barney ) Date: 03/28/02 21:17:26 MS
barney you be a squirrel and go chickachee and i'll do my hoot owl and go hoooo hoooooo gomer why don't i say hey gome and you say hey barney

Name: jonathan (character=jonathan) Date: 03/28/02 12:17:17 MS
i am at school

Name: brian (character=emma to barney) Date: 03/26/02 23:17:55 MS
naughty deputy

Name: Shane (character=Brisco Darlin) Date: 03/26/02 20:49:34 MS
Just jump in where you can sheriff and hang on

Name: Sally (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 03/26/02 13:34:11 MS
Hear that boys...no hollering at the table. It'll take some doing, but I'll learn 'em.

Name: Kate (character=Gomer) Date: 03/22/02 14:50:55 MS
Best of luck to you and yours

Name: Kim Brumit (character=Barney) Date: 03/21/02 10:30:32 MS
Thelma, Andy Lou's here!

Name: adam hunt (character=barney) Date: 03/20/02 19:29:19 MS
SHAKEDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Name: Nathan (character=Andy and Barney) Date: 03/15/02 16:36:02 MS
She's nice,She's reaaaaal Nice.

Name: adam (character=barney) Date: 03/15/02 16:33:11 MS
she's a dog

Name: Aaron Gamble (character=Charlene Darling-Wash) Date: 03/10/02 16:20:54 MS
"But, Pa, can't I even look at the pretty man?"

Name: Aaron Gamble (character=Barney) Date: 03/10/02 16:19:48 MS
"Adios, amigo!"

Name: Aaron Gamble (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 03/10/02 16:19:10 MS
"He one of ours?"

Name: Aaron Gamble (character=Andy) Date: 03/10/02 16:18:09 MS
"Well, some's got it and some ain't."

Name: Aaron Gamble (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 03/10/02 16:17:26 MS
"Well, Sheriff, looks like they's gonna get together."

Name: Nathan Richards (character=Andy ) Date: 03/09/02 00:17:58 MS
Barney your GASSED

Name: Nathan Richards (character=Andy) Date: 03/09/02 00:16:18 MS
This cider turned HARD

Name: Nathan Richards (character=Goober) Date: 03/09/02 00:13:11 MS
Barn, Barn, they're doin it, they're doin it!!

Name: Nathan Richards (character=Barney) Date: 03/09/02 00:11:22 MS
Notice how he don't call attention to his arm? Just floats it out there

Name: Nathan Richards (character=Barney) Date: 03/09/02 00:09:27 MS
I don't know, ya try, and ya try, and ya try, and what do ya get HEARTACHES

Name: Brad (character=Barney) Date: 03/08/02 07:36:08 MS
"Well for heavens sake look who's here! It's Thelma Lou and her attractive cousin!"

Name: adam hunt (character=andy) Date: 03/06/02 20:41:27 MS
hey ryan sanders shut up berney just shut up

Name: adam hunt (character=gomer) Date: 03/06/02 20:38:36 MS
she's an eight cyclinder she'll take eight

Name: adam hunt (character=barney to gomer) Date: 03/06/02 20:34:01 MS
"during our lifetime we travel many roads some
big roads some little roads rocky roads and
smooth roads dirt highways and improved highways"

Name: Liza (character=Andy) Date: 03/04/02 22:29:40 MS
This is it Miss Rosemary, don't blow it.

Name: Liza (character=Gomer) Date: 03/04/02 22:28:15 MS
There all hard centers, hope your teeth'll take 'em.

Name: Yoder (character=Andy and Helen to Barney ) Date: 03/02/02 18:21:03 MS
He'd kill you.

Name: Yoder (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 03/02/02 18:19:17 MS
How do you do Miss Wiley?

Name: Brad (character=Barney) Date: 02/21/02 14:43:06 MS
There's nothin' I hate more than a whino on a cryin' jag!

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 02/17/02 08:26:18 MS
"Of course I'm wearin' my uniform. I'm a policeman. What SHOULD I wear? A milk man
suit?"

Name: Emma (character=Barney) Date: 02/16/02 17:13:51 MS
"Of course I'm wearin' my uniform. I'm a policeman. What SHOULD I wear? A milk man
suit?"

Name: chris (character=goober) Date: 02/12/02 10:23:23 MS
you don't get a real pucka pucka pucka from no distributor cap.

Name: Nick (character=Opie to Andy (Opie & the spoiled kid)) Date: 02/11/02 18:12:18 MS
"I dont want to say. After all, he is one of my own kind."

Name: Nick (character=Colonel Harvey) Date: 02/11/02 18:07:26 MS
"My mission in life is health,is zest,is vigor,is the joy of living.Now what I offer you,my friends,is not medicine.It is far more than that.It is a tonic,an elixir to purge the body and lift the spirits.To put a light in the eye and a spring in the step,a lift in the voice and hope in the human heart."

Name: STEVE (character=BARNEY) Date: 02/11/02 09:53:52 MS
Andy all the women at Mrs. Wiley's party are dogs. Let a bird loose their at the party and they would all point.

Name: STEVE (character=BARNEY & ANDY) Date: 02/11/02 09:47:50 MS
All you talk about is kittens and there is a dangerous criminal loose. We'll Barney Fluffy does have kittens and you know how you would feel if your mother was stuck on the roof.

Name: Yoder (character=Barney) Date: 01/16/02 20:33:37 MS
"Your not talking to an idiot you know."

Name: Tom"Brisco"R (character=Barney) Date: 01/12/02 08:04:10 MS
One day all the pieces'll fall together, then you'll see the big picture.

Name: Tom"Brisco"R (character=Barney ) Date: 01/12/02 07:59:28 MS
Welcome to Checkpoint Chickie!

Name: Yoder (character=opie- not guilty ) Date: 01/11/02 21:16:14 MS
There once was a deputy named Fife. He had a gun and a knife. The knife was rusty the gun was dusty
because he never caught a crook in his life .

Name: JIM (character=BARNEY) Date: 01/11/02 20:07:29 MS
YOU GOTTA NIP IT IN THE BUDD.

Name: The Straight Up Hook Up (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 01/07/02 21:15:28 MS
I wanna do my sen-tence! Always wanna do summin' else when I wanna do summin' else!

Name: Joseph (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 01/07/02 21:04:02 MS
"How do you do Mrs. Wi-ley?"

Name: Joseph (character=Otis) Date: 01/07/02 21:01:13 MS
"A gnaf?!? Wait a minute, you're not a giraffe, you're a goat!!!"

Name: Roby (character=andy to barney) Date: 12/26/01 13:19:57 MS
You beat everything, you know that?!

Name: Kimberly (character=Andy (to Otis)) Date: 12/26/01 12:06:33 MS
'Bout one loaded goat at a time's all we can handle.

Name: CAROL (character=BARNEY) Date: 12/26/01 10:42:08 MS
YOU KNOW THOSE GIRAFFES.....THEY;RE SELFISH!

Name: Eric (character=Goober) Date: 12/05/01 15:29:14 MS
JudyJudyJudy

Name: Amy Hagley (character=Floyd) Date: 11/27/01 10:35:38 MS
"If Barney would just get married, these little things wouldn't bother him so much." (Episode 152)

Name: Dana (character=Barney ) Date: 11/18/01 17:49:32 MS
Every thinking pioneer has faced ridicule-take Alexander Graham Bell...people laughed at him right over the telephone!

Name: B. T. Phillips (character=AndyA) Date: 11/18/01 11:22:15 MS
Aunt Bee call the man

Name: KC (character=Floyd) Date: 11/03/01 21:21:58 MS
"I heard it...it sounded like a sneeze!!!"

Name: Kimberly (character=Andy) Date: 11/01/01 15:34:16 MS
You know Floyd always takes an hour or so for lunch. Says if he comes back too fast all the food goes right to his feet.

Name: Kimberly (character=Ernest T. Bass to Charlene Darling) Date: 11/01/01 15:29:36 MS
I'm kinda mean, but I make up for it by bein' real healthy.

Name: josh (character=Barney) Date: 10/04/01 13:17:06 MD
"It aint so good neither.Id rather be called skunk face then honey like that.It just aint gonna work Andy"

Name: josh slatten (character=Gomer) Date: 10/04/01 13:13:06 MD
"You want the handcuffs now Barney"

Name: Mark H (character=Barney) Date: 10/03/01 21:54:36 MD
"who eats all the apricots around here anyway?"

Name: Logan (character=Mr. Darlin) Date: 10/02/01 20:44:15 MD
Jump in where you can and hold on

Name: Logan (character=Gomer) Date: 10/02/01 20:37:10 MD
Wally just done the strangest thing,
andy-what?
He fiarred me,

Name: Logan (character=Ernest T) Date: 10/02/01 20:34:46 MD
Its me its me its Ernest T

Name: Sally (character=Andy) Date: 10/02/01 20:33:20 MD
Morn'in dear; Morn'in honey

Name: haratio (the half a boy) (character=Earnest T Bass) Date: 09/23/01 15:19:35 MD
ol man bryer jumped in the fire, fire to hot jumped in the pot, pot to black jumped in the crack, crack to high jumped in the sky, sky to blue jumped in canoe, canoe to shallow jumped in the tallow, tallow to soft jumped in the loft, loft to rotten jumped in the cotton, cotton so white she stayed there all night

Name: haratio (the half a boy) (character=Earnest T Bass) Date: 09/23/01 15:19:34 MD
ol man bryer jumped in the fire, fire to hot jumped in the pot, pot to black jumped in the crack, crack to high jumped in the sky, sky to blue jumped in canoe, canoe to shallow jumped in the tallow, tallow to soft jumped in the loft, loft to rotten jumped in the cotton, cotton so white she stayed there all night

Name: Rita (character=Gomer) Date: 09/15/01 01:18:45 MD
"Citezen's arrest! Citizen's arrest!"

Name: Rita (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 09/15/01 01:18:08 MD
"Taters!!"

Name: Rita (character=Barney) Date: 09/15/01 01:17:43 MD
"You leave it to 'Big Barn'."

Name: george (character=barney) Date: 09/03/01 02:46:03 MD
that's as funny as a crutch

Name: carlos king (character=howard) Date: 09/01/01 22:38:37 MD
no coffee tea or punch thank you

Name: Hootie Snitch (character=Mayor Stoner) Date: 08/18/01 19:32:03 MD
They ever gonna clean this crock.

Name: Nate Bracey (character=Earnest T) Date: 08/18/01 19:27:41 MD
I aint talkin, I aint talkin, the more your askin the more I'm balkin.

Name: Opiie Taylor Senior (character=Otis) Date: 08/18/01 19:25:15 MD
I came to fill up my vase.

Name: Dave (character=Barney) Date: 08/17/01 20:00:02 MD
During our lifetime we travel many roads. There are smooth roads, and rocky roads. Dirt highways, and improved roads.

Name: Dave (character=Barney) Date: 08/17/01 19:51:17 MD
Gomer, get down there with them spiders.

Name: Dave (character=Barney) Date: 08/17/01 19:48:45 MD
Andy's got hot knees.

Name: Dave (character=David Browne) Date: 08/17/01 19:46:53 MD
Tuskarora!

Name: Dave (character=Barney) Date: 08/17/01 19:46:11 MD
We defy the mafia!

Name: fun girl (character=Barney) Date: 08/08/01 22:29:28 MD
"A slender high-spirited person needs a sugar pick-me-up lat in the day."

Name: fun girl (character=Barney) Date: 08/08/01 22:28:28 MD
"The quality of mercy is not strained, it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven...... You're not talking to a jerk, you know."

Name: Kimberly (character=Andy to Aunt Bee) Date: 08/06/01 15:12:58 MD
I'm always gettin my britches caught on my own pitchfork.

Name: teresa (character=andy) Date: 08/03/01 11:47:58 MD
"Tonight we go into operation pickle switch"

Name: Kimberly (character=Andy & Barney) Date: 08/02/01 11:48:26 MD
Barney: I could pick him out of a Sunday School Picnic.

Andy: Could you pick him out on the porch?

Name: Kimberly (character=Opie to Andy) Date: 08/02/01 11:47:14 MD
Pa, I'm makin George some sandwiches -- I made peanut butter and liverwurst, and peanut butter and bubblegum, and I made some just peanut butter and peanut butter.

Name: Kimberly (character=Malcolm Tucker) Date: 08/02/01 11:14:22 MD
DO IT! DO IT! For the love of Mike, just do it.

Name: Kimberly (character=Briscoe Darling to Andy) Date: 08/02/01 11:12:30 MD
He one a' ours?

Name: Kimberly (character=Andy to Briscoe Darling) Date: 08/02/01 11:10:48 MD
Well, you know what they say, some's got it and some ain't.

Name: Sandy (character=Andy) Date: 07/27/01 20:07:15 MD
Poor old soul...she's startin to walk crooked.

Name: Jerf (character=andy to opie) Date: 07/17/01 20:50:40 MD
Oh Romeo Oh Romeo wherefor art thou romeo
I'm rite chere

Name: Jerf (character=Andy to Opie) Date: 07/17/01 20:49:42 MD
I can't blieve I was glad when you learned to talk.

Name: Tom (character=Opie) Date: 07/14/01 22:44:56 MD
Barney: "Where you goin'"
Opie: "I'm leavin'. You're a sight."

Name: Ed (character=Barney to Thelma Lou) Date: 07/10/01 23:30:33 MD
Barney: What do ya say to a little dinner?
Thelma Lou: Love it!!!
Barney: O.K., i'll have the hot plate plugged up in a minute!!!!

Name: Ed (character=Andy) Date: 07/10/01 23:24:17 MD
Ohhhh, ya still got your Mayberry High School pennant.

Name: Ed (character=Barney) Date: 07/10/01 23:18:46 MD
Now is the time to come to the aid of your neighbor.Repeat, now is the time to come to the aid of your neighbor!

Name: Ed (character=Barney to Andy) Date: 07/10/01 23:17:11 MD
Drive, just drive.

Name: Ed (character=Andy) Date: 07/10/01 23:14:49 MD
Winkin' will tell Blinkin', Blinkin' will tell Nod, Nod will tell Barney, and Barney will tell you.

Name: Barneyparneypoo (character=Emma) Date: 06/26/01 07:40:28 MD
I want my pills! Andy aren't you going make that girl give me my pills?!

Name: Barneyparneypoo (character=Barney) Date: 06/26/01 07:24:22 MD
Shoo Fly Shoo! He's Dead!

Name: CLIFF (character=FLOYD TO ANDY) Date: 06/20/01 22:37:00 MD
OH YEA IT'S HOT HOT AND CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT-YOU KNOW CALVIN COOLAGE SAID THAT!

Name: Dave (character=Raaf Hollister) Date: 06/17/01 20:45:20 MD
I know when I'm hot, I'm dang hot.

Name: Dave (character=Barney) Date: 06/17/01 20:44:09 MD
ALL RIGHT, SHAKEDOWN!

Name: Johnny Paul Jason (character=Mr. Carter) Date: 06/16/01 14:24:05 MD
'Cause he's a Wakefield

Name: Johnny Paul Jason (character=Andy) Date: 06/16/01 14:01:11 MD
When his time comes he aint gonna go like other people, he just gonna nasty away.

Name: Johnny Paul Jason (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 06/16/01 13:59:47 MD
If a duck stands still, you can catch him by the bill.

Name: Johnny Paul Jason (character=Andy & Barney) Date: 06/16/01 13:52:06 MD
Barney: Well, that's not our fault.
Andy: No, that's not our fault, it's your fault! You started the whole blame thing!

Name: Dave (character=Barney) Date: 06/11/01 22:39:26 MD
A metal craft set, a wood carving set, a leather craft set, and a Mr. Potato set.

Name: steve (character=barney) Date: 06/06/01 23:43:39 MD
i have a uvula, you have a uvula, all gods children have a uvula.

Name: Mary Grace Gossage (character=Barney (to Andy about Ben Weaver)) Date: 06/02/01 20:20:29 MD
You know what I'd'a said if he jumped on me like that? I'd'a said "Who died and left you the boss? Why don't you go set in the grocery store so we can all know you're the big cheese."

Name: CRAIG (character=MR DARLING) Date: 05/31/01 18:42:51 MD
Hear that boys no shouting at the table!

Name: Dave (character=Goober) Date: 05/28/01 21:43:13 MD
Hey you guys, come on you guys, beat it you guys.

Name: Dave (character=Barney) Date: 05/28/01 21:39:51 MD
A) A guy moves into town
2) He has no money
and C, he wants to marry Mrs. Mendelmright.

Name: Dave (character=Barney) Date: 05/27/01 21:34:11 MD
Andy, what are you doing in here?( Barney singing, and snapping his fingers.

Name: Dave (character=Officer&Earnest T.) Date: 05/27/01 21:23:11 MD
Officer: Say Ah.
Earnest T: Ah
Earnest T: What do you want me to say now?
Officer: Hush
Earnest T: Huuuush

Name: Dave (character=Barney) Date: 05/27/01 21:14:40 MD
I think I've heard just about enough about that tomato!

Name: Dave (character=Otis&Judd) Date: 05/27/01 21:13:10 MD
Otis: Why did you throw a tomato at me Barn?
Judd: I wish he'd throw something at me. I hadn't had my lunch yet.

Name: Dave (character=Barney&Andy) Date: 05/27/01 21:09:31 MD
Barney: Cocka Doodle Doo, Cocka Doodle Doo
Andy: Get up Barn I wanna see if there's an egg underneath you.

Name: Dave (character=Gomer& Barney) Date: 05/27/01 21:02:01 MD
Barney: Oh brother.
Gomer: No, it don't have to be. It can be a cousin.

Name: Dave (character=Otis) Date: 05/27/01 20:56:52 MD
Aunt Bee, Bloody Mary!

Name: Dave (character=Mr. Darling) Date: 05/27/01 20:55:31 MD
I'll raise pigs, I'll raise hogs, I'll raise whatever I want to raise.

Name: Andy Killian (character=Barney) Date: 05/25/01 22:07:31 MD
"What's the matter? Ain't you never seen a man take off a dress before?"

Name: Andy Killian (character=Andy and Briscoe) Date: 05/25/01 07:05:37 MD
Andy: "The boys are lively today Briscoe."
Briscoe: "They's all keyed up."

Name: Mary Grace Gossage (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 05/24/01 19:06:36 MD
Ain't got much personality, that boy.

Name: Mary Grace Gossage (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 05/24/01 19:05:03 MD
The boys ain't much on compliments.

Name: Mary Grace Gossage (character=Aunt Bee (to Oris)) Date: 05/24/01 19:03:43 MD
Get to work!

Name: bruce-no thanks Leon (character=Briscoe Darlin) Date: 05/24/01 12:58:50 MD
"Got time to breathe, got time for music."

Name: Andy Killian (character=Gomer) Date: 05/23/01 07:11:52 MD
"No account mule sittin' on a haystack, sittin' on a haystack, sittin' on a haystack, no account mule sittin' on a haystack, all day long. HO!"
"No account mule sittin' on a mountain...etc."

Name: Andy Killian (character=Gomer singing) Date: 05/23/01 07:07:08 MD
"No account mule sittin' on a haystack, sittin' on a haystack, sittin' on a haystack. No account mule sittin' on a haystack, all day long." "HO!"
"No account mule sittin' on a mountain...etc."

Name: Cindy (character=Daphne) Date: 05/22/01 20:44:37 MD
Opie: I ain't never seen one, Paw.

Andy: You ain't never seen what?

Opie: A half a boy.

Name: Andy Killian (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 05/21/01 08:49:52 MD
"I ain't talkin', I ain't talkin'. The more your askin', the more I'm balkin'."

Name: Dave (character=Barney) Date: 05/19/01 23:16:45 MD
No more doing what you want whenever you want. No more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Why can't we have peanut butter in jail?

Name: Dave (character=Mr. Darling) Date: 05/19/01 23:13:12 MD
BREAD!

Name: Dave (character=Andy) Date: 05/19/01 23:10:18 MD
Your all heart you know that Barn.

Name: Dave (character=Rev. Tucker) Date: 05/19/01 23:07:14 MD
WHATS YOUR HURRY!

Name: Dave (character=Barney) Date: 05/19/01 23:04:24 MD
It's gonna get tough, and then it's gonna get tougher!

Name: adam hunt (character=barney) Date: 05/19/01 13:14:38 MD
rifle fife they use to call me

Name: Andy Killian (character=Andy) Date: 05/18/01 10:12:48 MD
"Otis spiked the spring water!"

Name: Andy Killian (character=Barney to Andy/Otis to Andy) Date: 05/18/01 10:10:14 MD
Barney: "Andy, Otis was standing naked before me."
Otis: Look of shock on his face: "I was not!"

Name: Ryan (character=barney) Date: 05/17/01 16:20:26 MD
You know Andy.. I never thought our town would come to this........... Mayberry.. Gateway To Danger!
----------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------
Well Andy.. I better go take a look around town.. you never know what kind of beast my come running from the woulds

Name: Ryan (character=Gomer---------------Fun Girls) Date: 05/17/01 16:16:29 MD
Citizens Arrest.... Citizens Arrest.....Citizens Arrest
---------------------------------------------
Im Locked Up with the sherrif....Im locked up with the sherrif.

Name: Ryan (character=The Fun Girls!) Date: 05/17/01 16:12:36 MD
Ohhh. BERNEY!!
Barney: Its barney
______________________________
Hellloo Doll.

Name: Ryan (character=Thelma Lou and Barn (Episode: Barney Gets his man)) Date: 05/17/01 16:11:38 MD
Thelma Lou: Bu But Barney.. you could have been hurt.. you could have been killed

Barney: but then again, he could have been hurt... he could have been killed

Name: Pam in B'ham (character=Floyd ) Date: 05/17/01 13:39:30 MD
You fall down a well and you're wet!!!

Name: Pam in B'ham (character=Gomer) Date: 05/17/01 13:35:20 MD
I hope they're not too porous. I'd hate for the hair on my legs to pop through.

Name: Pam in B'ham (character=Barn to Andy) Date: 05/17/01 13:29:44 MD
You know something I found out? If you ride in the wind with your mouth open and you put your tongue up on the roof of your mouth, it's impossible to pronounce a word that starts with the letter "S".

Name: Pam in B'ham (character=Andy) Date: 05/17/01 13:27:16 MD
About one loaded goat a day is all we can handle!

Name: Pam in B'ham (character=Lydia Crosswaithe) Date: 05/17/01 13:11:31 MD
"I don't mind ordinary conversation, but I hate to chit-chat."
"I hate the guitar. I don't mind the clarinet or the saxophone, but I hate the guitar."
"Do you mind if we walk? I feel a little nauseous from all that candy we been eatin'."

Name: Pam in B'ham (character=Opie) Date: 05/17/01 12:58:30 MD
I ain't gonna say ain't no more!

Name: Lorri Darlin' (not to be confused with Charlene Darlin) (character=Barney to the 2 prisoners in the episode "The Big House") Date: 05/16/01 15:30:31 MD
Barney: "Now men, here at the Big House we've only got TWO rules. Rule #1: OBEY ALL RULES"...

Name: ADAM HUNT (character=BARNEY) Date: 05/15/01 20:47:48 MD
"NIP IT IN THE BUD"

Name: adam hunt (character=barney (to andy)) Date: 05/15/01 16:02:20 MD
Leonard blush Leonard blush is that all you ever think about

Name: adam hunt (character=barney) Date: 05/15/01 15:50:26 MD
they call this the deadly game and i'am in it for keeps

Name: Mrs. Willey (character=Gomer) Date: 05/08/01 20:38:07 MD
"I guess this makes you the Sherriff now, huh, Barn?"

Name: STEVE (character=ASA THE BANK GUARD) Date: 05/04/01 13:34:12 MD
I'VE HEARD ALOT ABOUT YOUR BULLET BARNEY.

Name: STEVE (character=ERNEST T. BASS) Date: 05/04/01 13:26:04 MD
I'LL TELL YOU BOUT A POSSUM UNDER A ROCK.
YOU JAB HIM WITH A STICK AND SMOKE HIM OUT.

Name: STEVE (character=GOMER) Date: 05/04/01 13:24:22 MD
JUDY,JUDY,JUDY,JUDY

Name: Bruce "no thanks Leon" (character=Gomer) Date: 04/30/01 13:46:34 MD
To: "man in a hurry" : " She's an 8 cylinder....She'll take 8".

Name: melissa walker (character=otis) Date: 04/27/01 21:28:48 MD
Barney's in jail, Barney's in jail.

Name: melissa walker (character=barney) Date: 04/27/01 21:28:07 MD
Jaunita, Juanite, my beautiful Juanit

Name: Melissa Walker (character=Andy9to Aunt Bee about the old freezer)) Date: 04/27/01 21:26:41 MD
Call the man!

Name: melissa walker (character=Barney (to Gomer in the Rimshaw house)) Date: 04/27/01 21:24:05 MD
Gomer? Gomer? Gome...

Name: melissa walker (character=otis) Date: 04/27/01 21:22:23 MD
I came to fill my vase.

Name: melissa walker (character=barney) Date: 04/27/01 21:21:36 MD
It's against the law to take the law in to your own hands.

Name: Tom Mac (character=Barney) Date: 04/12/01 12:32:40 MD
Now I'll drive, so I'll sit in the front seat.

Name: Gome (character=Andy (to Barney)) Date: 04/11/01 12:25:41 MD
Caution...user should wear gloves.

Name: Marie (character=Ernest T.Bass) Date: 04/07/01 09:31:56 MD
"She's chomp for now..She's gonna marry the
taxidermist what sewed up her head"

Name: Cara (character=Gomer) Date: 03/23/01 09:57:36 MS
"Hey mister! You're all tied up to a tree!"

Name: Andy (character=Floyd and Andy) Date: 03/22/01 18:24:00 MS
Floyd to the mirror:Wretch!Wretch!Deceitful wretch!
Andy:And stop hollering at yourself in that looking glass.

Name: Tom Gentis (character=Barney) Date: 03/21/01 14:28:41 MS
Is this good Government!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Name: Crystal (character=Charline & Brisco) Date: 03/20/01 21:33:07 MS
Charline eyes had been glued on Andy.
Brisco: "Charline, back in the truck."

Charline: "Aw, pa. Cain't I even look at the pur'dy man."

Name: Crystal (character=(Gomer to Andy)) Date: 03/20/01 21:15:07 MS
"Th' water an' th' airs free. We don't make no charge for it. Now you take gais an' o'l, that's a
whole diffr'nt proposition ent'ar. We make a charge for that. You know how long we'd be in
bussiness if we gave gais away free? Not v'ry long."

Name: "BAMA" KATT (character=Andy) Date: 03/19/01 12:33:26 MS
Refering to the Buzz Fluheart scientific theory of hexes:"And THAT is also the biggest crock of
nuthin' I've ever heard!

Name: Melinda (character=Goober (to Andy)) Date: 03/19/01 11:37:43 MS
"Ain't you got a jack?"

Name: Dee Taylor (character=Barney) Date: 03/17/01 22:09:32 MS
"Andy's got hot knees!"

Name: Clint (character=Mr. Darling/Charlene) Date: 03/15/01 20:53:53 MS
Deciding what song to play.
Mr. Darling: How bout - Don't hit your grandma with a great big stick.
Charlene: No Pa that'n makes me cry.

Name: Clint (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 03/15/01 20:47:08 MS
How do you do Mrs. Wi-ley.

Name: Dane Hawk (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 03/08/01 20:25:55 MS
Three cuts of pie is my high water mark.

Name: Melinda (character=Barney) Date: 03/07/01 08:19:31 MS
"We Defy The Mafia!"

Name: nicole (character=opie) Date: 03/04/01 12:11:34 MS
pa just usually lops off the tops

Name: TOM "BRISCO" R. (character=Andy to Opie) Date: 02/20/01 16:50:25 MS
Well, Winkin'll tell Blinkin', Blinkin'll tell Nod, Nod'll tell Barney, and Barney'll tell you.

Name: TOM"BRISCO"R. (character=Andy to Barney as Opie feeds birds) Date: 02/20/01 16:47:16 MS
" That's good to know. Next time I go tiger huntin', I'm gonna take my tweezers!"

Name: deb (character=opie) Date: 02/06/01 20:38:30 MS
picking up miss ellie for church dance he tells andy "pa, why don't you get yourself a date"

Name: Heather (character=Ernest T. Bass) Date: 01/31/01 05:31:02 MS
"Wanna hear me sing "Eatin Goober Peas"?

Name: Eric (character=Floyd) Date: 01/29/01 00:27:21 MS
Just goes to show ya one thing Andy If you want a beautiful suite you have to go to mount pilot

Name: Eric (character=Floyd) Date: 01/29/01 00:25:35 MS
You Better not break the chain Barney

Name: Ellie Wallker (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 01/26/01 17:54:58 MS
The show is off the road.

Name: Al Becker (character=Andy) Date: 01/15/01 13:34:24 MS
Andy trying to calm Aunt Bee after she sees the broken rose:

"Now remember Aunt Bee, we've still got our money and pep, and lots of good weather ahead!"

Name: trey speaks (character=barney) Date: 01/12/01 20:35:07 MS
yea reverend thats one thing you cant preach to much about, SIN.

Name: Tom"Brisco"R. (character=Mr. Darling to Andy) Date: 12/21/00 03:57:45 MS
"That haircut of your's may be city style, but your heart was shaped in a bowl."

Name: andy (character=andy to mayor) Date: 12/09/00 17:16:51 MS
everyone sure is lookin forward to your wifes singin' mayor!

Name: Tom"Brisco"R. (character=Barney to Andy) Date: 11/22/00 04:09:51 MS
Boy I hate it when you get obtuse.

Name: Tom"Brisco"R. (character=Barney) Date: 11/22/00 04:08:35 MS
Mayberry; Gateway to danger.

Name: Tom"Brisco"R. (character=Gomer) Date: 11/22/00 04:05:10 MS
Folks like Barney ought not to worry. It don't matter so much with fat people, but folks like Barney ought not to worry.

Name: Tom "Brisco" R. (character=Andy to Barney ) Date: 11/21/00 04:16:34 MS
"...you know, when that man's time comes to go, he ain't gonna go like most folks, he's just gonna nasty away."

Name: Rusty (character=Andy) Date: 11/16/00 15:52:29 MS
Your hair's drippin.

Name: Rusty (character=Andy) Date: 11/16/00 14:31:16 MS
Ya'll be careful crossin the street now and don't drink too much.

Name: Tom "Brisco" R. (character=Barney ) Date: 11/13/00 12:34:44 MS
"Walk on the left side after dark, you won't end up playin' a harp."

Name: Tom Brisco" R. (character=Barney ) Date: 11/13/00 12:32:04 MS
...but there's one name they never called me; "Tattletale".

Name: Tom "Brisco" R. (character=Andy to Goober about Lydia) Date: 11/13/00 12:30:22 MS
Goober, would you tell her to stop hanging her head out the window like a dog!

Name: Tom"Brisco"R. (character=Brisco Darling) Date: 11/13/00 12:28:19 MS
I can take some cleanin' up, and I can take some manners, and I can take a bossy mouth, but I ain't about to be beat to death with no spoon!

Name: Tom"Brisco" R. (character=Barney to Andy) Date: 11/08/00 04:20:09 MS
Barney: Andy, would you hand me an oar?
Andy: Why, we ain't going anywhere!
Barney: Well we'd better, WE'RE SINKIN'!

Name: Tom "Brico" R. (character=Barney ) Date: 11/07/00 04:21:02 MS
I got a uvula, you got a uvula, she's got a uvula, all God's children got a uvula. Andy: Hallelujah!

Name: Tom (character=Andy to Ed Sawyer) Date: 11/03/00 13:04:32 MS
Andy:...you believe man'll ever fly to the moon? Ed: I sure do; I'm going myself someday. Andy: Boy, you' already there!

Name: Leigh (character=Barney) Date: 10/31/00 20:23:45 MS
Pick a lock!

Name: Michael Stevens (character=Andy to Barney) Date: 10/15/00 22:59:46 MD
I won't need it Barn, Fluffy and me've been friends
for years.

Name: Michael Stevens (character=Andy to Gomer) Date: 10/15/00 22:54:36 MD
And take that gun outta your mouth!

Name: Michael Stevens (character=Jud) Date: 10/15/00 22:50:55 MD
I wish he'd throw something at me, I haven't had any
lunch yet.

Name: Tim (character=Gomer to Barney) Date: 09/23/00 13:05:29 MD
Citizen's Arrest! Citizen's Arrest

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Opie to Andy) Date: 09/13/00 14:50:56 MD
Opie:Did Doc Bennett deliver me pa?
Andy:He sure did, gave you your first slap!
Opie:What did I do wrong?
Andy:Nothin'! You know when a baby doesn't breathe they... (demonstrates with his hand)
Opie:Oh!

Name: casey hobbs (character=diolouge andy and barney) Date: 09/04/00 09:49:05 MD
andy- what did you get them?
barney- septic tank.
andy- youre a fine son barn.

Name: Emma (character=Andy) Date: 08/06/00 09:41:12 MD
"And take that GUN outa your pants!"

Name: Brian (character=Gomer to anybody and everybody) Date: 08/04/00 18:14:45 MD
Lots of luck to you and yours!

Name: David (character=Barney & Andy) Date: 07/28/00 10:17:04 MD
Barney: You mean we are just going to sit and wait for the FBI.
Andy: Thats right.
Barney: Maybe they'll let us bring them coffee.

Name: Mike (Spyda Byte)Z-man (character=Gomer) Date: 07/27/00 20:28:19 MD
Crazy guess I just wasn't thinkin

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Floyd to Andy) Date: 07/26/00 19:16:57 MD
Floyd: Hey Andy! Do you know that dingo dogs are indiginous to Australia?

Andy: What's a dingo dog?

Floyd: I don't know but their indiginous to Australia!

Name: ernest t (character=about all of them) Date: 07/26/00 12:15:48 MD
gomer "you could be mashin down to hard on yer acceleration and flooden er out"

aunt bea" i think gomers right barney i smell gas, you smell gas andy?

andy "i smell gas"

thelma lou" i smell gas"

gomer "i smell gas"

opie "i smell gas"

aunt bea"i smell gas too"

barney" all right all right ya all smell gas course ya smell gas what do ya think this car runs on coal!

Name: Rod (character=Andy) Date: 07/23/00 23:31:12 MD
Forgot the set-up

(to Opie) "Go find a barrel ring and tell Barney to put it away!"

Name: Rod (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 07/23/00 23:29:08 MD
Just wanted to reiterate!!!

"Got time to breath, got time for music!"

God bless Mayberry

Name: Rod (character=Barn and Anj) Date: 07/23/00 23:23:01 MD
Barn: "I was so upset I didn't even put away the
barrel ring!"
Anj: "What barrel ring?"
Barn: "Oh, the one that Opie gave me!"

Damn that's funny!!

Name: Jerry (character=Barney) Date: 07/23/00 07:54:27 MD
Mayberry; Gateway to danger!

Name: Martha (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 07/16/00 15:38:52 MD
Thought about killin him, kinda hated to go that far

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Andy to Barney) Date: 07/12/00 21:37:00 MD
Andy: BARNEY!!!! YOUR GASSED!!!!!!

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Barney (Talking about Malcolm when he's drunk)) Date: 07/12/00 21:35:05 MD
Just what we need, an english version of Otis!

Name: David (character=Barney & Andy) Date: 07/12/00 09:52:23 MD
Barney: How do you fight a fire.
Andy: With a hose?
Barney: No, you fight a fire with fire!

Name: goober (character=opie) Date: 07/09/00 21:14:16 MD
"see, i told you guys, he's really hangin himself"

Barney, " hey you kids beat it, havent you ever seen a guy hanging in a closet before!"

Name: Opie (character=Gomer) Date: 07/09/00 21:00:48 MD
"water and air is free, we dont make no charge for it, but gas we make a charge for."

Name: Melissa (character=Barney) Date: 07/08/00 09:04:56 MD
Tick a lock

Name: Greg (character=Barney (discussing the women at Mrs. Wiley's party)) Date: 07/07/00 21:28:25 MD
If you flew a duck through here they'd all point.

Name: Greg (character=Barney) Date: 07/07/00 21:26:40 MD
We'll take the rock down to the boys at the lab and test it to see if he brought it with him or if it was a local rock.

Name: Greg (character=Gomer) Date: 07/07/00 21:23:31 MD
If I was a spider that's where I'd go.

Name: Doug e. Fresh (character=Barney) Date: 07/06/00 22:52:22 MD
Giraffes are selfish!

Name: Carol Hunter (character=Ernest T Bass) Date: 07/02/00 07:05:40 MD
If I knew you were coming I know what I'd do I'da
risen both hands and I'da wove at you..Honk Honk..

Name: ROBERT BOGGS (character=BARNEY) Date: 06/29/00 11:43:10 MD
ANDY, YOU GIVE 'EM 35, THEY'LL GO 40, GIVE 'EM 40 , THEY'LL GO 45, GIVE 'EM 45, THEY'LL GO 50.

Name: Jim (character=Otis) Date: 06/27/00 21:11:17 MD
I woulda' been here sooner but I fell in with some evil companions....

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Otis (jump roping)) Date: 06/27/00 20:43:29 MD
Slow it down and let me in, or I'll go out and get some GIN!

Name: Al Becker (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 06/25/00 12:27:36 MD
"Charlene, let your ol' Paw have that heel."

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Charlene) Date: 06/24/00 08:39:33 MD
Ah Paw, can't I even look at the pretty man?

Name: David (character=Barney to Floyd) Date: 06/23/00 13:26:18 MD
Alright...3

Name: Dan (character=Otis) Date: 06/23/00 06:00:04 MD
I gotta hobby!!....drinkin'!!

Name: gary (character=barney ) Date: 06/22/00 09:02:12 MD
an unlisted phone number...thats what we need!!too many prank calls!!!!

Name: Barney (character=Goober) Date: 06/18/00 20:57:05 MD
Smooth, real smooth. You to Helen, real smooth

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Aunt Bee (singing Tootsie gassed)) Date: 06/17/00 14:56:05 MD
Toot, Toot, Tootsie goo-dbye, Toot, Toot, Tootsie don't cry

Name: gina (character=Andy to Barney) Date: 06/12/00 17:58:21 MD
Where'd David get the inner tube?

Name: gina (character=barney to goober) Date: 06/12/00 17:57:20 MD
I got a girl, Andy's got a girl, all God's chillin got a girl

Name: Jason (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 06/10/00 19:12:23 MD
"...but I ain't about to be beat to death with no spoon!"

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Barney) Date: 06/10/00 18:33:28 MD
You know what they say, the bigger they are the harder they fall.

Name: rick (character=barney) Date: 06/09/00 17:05:48 MD
Barney: Juanita? Oh hi Fred"

Name: rick (character=ernest t bass) Date: 06/09/00 16:58:55 MD
Ernest T : "I wonder who that could be"?
Opie Taylor: "goodnight ernest t bass"
Ernest t : good night opie taylor

Name: rick (character=Otis) Date: 06/09/00 16:55:19 MD
Otis:did you see him throw that tomato at me?
Barney why did you throw that tomato at me?
Judd: i wish he would throw something at me I havent had my lunch yet.
Goober: only two kinda of cops the quick and the dead right Barn?
Barney: I think Ive heard just about enough about that tomato

Name: rick sells (character=Barney) Date: 06/09/00 16:47:58 MD
Barney talking about Ernest T's girlfriend
Hogette
Barney: "Pretty name"
Ernest T: "Hogette yea its a french name".

Name: rick sells (character=GOOBER) Date: 06/09/00 16:44:56 MD
Goober to Andy: "Aint' you got a jack"?

Name: David (character=Barney (About Thelma Lou)) Date: 06/09/00 10:32:25 MD
Oh..She was feeling alright, she was humming!

Name: David (character=Gomer) Date: 06/07/00 10:15:39 MD
Here Andy, put this bucket over your head and take a think.

Name: Anita K. (character=Barney) Date: 06/06/00 17:45:43 MD
Well, if ya got something to say, say it.

Name: Anita K. (character=Floyde) Date: 06/06/00 17:45:03 MD
Don't blame me if the hamburgers are burnt.

Name: Anita K. (character=Barney to Gormer) Date: 06/06/00 17:44:22 MD
Ya just had to have an apple.

Name: David (character=Andy) Date: 06/06/00 11:07:28 MD
According to the computation machines at the bank, and they are goooooooooood machines.....

Name: David (character=Barney's voice teacher.) Date: 06/06/00 11:01:02 MD
I just gave you an "A" for breathing.

Name: Randy Scheuer (character=Floyd) Date: 06/05/00 22:00:07 MD
What did Calvin Coolege say?

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Barney) Date: 06/02/00 19:32:53 MD
Jubal! jubal, jubal, jubal,Juuuuubal!

Name: Janet (character=Barney) Date: 05/30/00 22:06:22 MD
"I'm not gonna stand in no stag line with Old Mr. Perkins and bunch of slumped over teenage boys!"

Name: Janet (character=Barney) Date: 05/30/00 22:04:27 MD
"I think I've heard just about enough about that tomato!"

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=George (Tex) Foley) Date: 05/29/00 12:41:36 MD
Tex: Nobody ever tells a cowboy to pick up his toys. And if I sleep with my horse I'll never have to take a bath!

Andy: I don't know about that, if the wind shifts somebody will get after the both of ya.

Name: Al Becker (character=Aunt Bee) Date: 05/29/00 11:57:00 MD
"Andy always hit the ball out of sight....no matter how hard I threw it."

Name: laura lee hobbs (character=Andy to Barney) Date: 05/28/00 15:57:46 MD
You and me and Gomer and Laura Lee Hobbs...we're gonna be here to meet it!

Name: CINDY (character=OTIS) Date: 05/23/00 18:47:40 MD
I'm dead sober, but I expect I'll get over it!

Name: CINDY (character=FLOYD) Date: 05/23/00 18:44:48 MD
Time heals everything. Know who said that? My Latin teacher at barber college!

Name: Lorri (character=Party Girl #1) Date: 05/22/00 12:10:04 MD
Hello Doll.

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Opie to Andy) Date: 05/19/00 16:15:19 MD
I want you to arrest her pa, we'll give her a fair trial and hanger!

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Opie Taylor) Date: 05/19/00 16:12:18 MD
Who stepped on ma?

Name: JW (character=Earnest T. Bass) Date: 05/19/00 09:17:39 MD
Who you callin' a creachter?!

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Goober) Date: 05/16/00 14:51:59 MD
Andy, tell him to quit callin' me big ears!!!

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Floyd to Andy) Date: 05/16/00 13:17:16 MD
Floyd:You know Andy, you were real stupid when you were young. You used to try to eat the shaving cream because you thought it was icecream. Boy were you ever dumb!

Name: KY Girl (character=Thelma Lou ) Date: 05/15/00 23:06:43 MD
"Barney's a dear, sweet, kind man! The kindest man I've ever known! He's the man I want to be the father of my children! But he just can't sing! Not a lick! Not a lick!"

Name: Ky Girl (character=Ernest T. ) Date: 05/15/00 23:02:59 MD
"It's me!It's Me! It's Ernest T.!"

Name: Chick (character=Me) Date: 05/15/00 08:57:58 MD
My boat don't float that way

Name: Debbie (character=Andy & Opie) Date: 05/11/00 09:30:56 MD

Opie: "Pa what are we having for supper?"
Andy: "You and Aunt Bee are having fried chicken, and I'm having crow.

Name: dixon (character=Barney) Date: 05/06/00 14:48:39 MD
We'll put out a number two amber alert...someone awake at all times.

Name: dixon (character=Barney) Date: 05/06/00 14:47:41 MD
Man spends money gettin' his suit spotted and pressed, spends two hours polishing his hat, and for what? Heartaches!

Name: Vickie (character=Barney) Date: 04/24/00 20:58:21 MD
That was my Daddy's rock.

Name: David (character=Barney) Date: 04/24/00 12:00:00 MD
Boy, those gypsies sure are moody.

Name: John (character=Otis) Date: 04/23/00 21:04:41 MD
Barneys in jail! Barneys in jail!

Name: Rita (character=Barney Fife) Date: 04/23/00 09:13:05 MD
Let's get THAT vehicle out of here.

Name: Jamie Tallent (character=The Darling Boys) Date: 04/21/00 20:55:56 MD
"Ebo Walker was a mighty fine fiddle player"

Name: Banjer Picker (character=Briscoe Darling) Date: 04/21/00 20:52:45 MD
"Got time to breathe, got time for music"

Name: David Johnson (character=Andy) Date: 04/21/00 11:09:42 MD
"Oh shutup Bernie...Will you just shutup!!?"

Name: Dr. Pendike (character=Daphne-Fun Girl) Date: 04/18/00 13:45:50 MD
I'm locked up with the sheriff!

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Andy to Barney) Date: 04/16/00 21:45:28 MD
Barney:Your talking about kitty cats while there's a killer on the loose?
Andy: Well, Fluffy does have kittens and you know how you'd feel if you saw your mother stuck on the roof.

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Andy to Charlene Darling (As Charlene chases Andy around the desk.)) Date: 04/16/00 21:41:01 MD
Andy:Charlene I'm old enough to be your father!
Charlene:You sure are beautifully preserved!

Name: Jason (character=Andy and Opie) Date: 04/16/00 20:32:41 MD
ANDY: See it's not really half a boy its a ratio.
OPIE: Poor Horatio.

Name: Jason (character=Andy) Date: 04/16/00 20:30:31 MD
Little old ladies ought never to clank.

Name: Jason (character=Aunt Bee, and Barney) Date: 04/16/00 20:26:32 MD
AUNT BEE: Aren't you even going to try one of my pickles?
BARNEY: No thanks, Aunt Bee. I'll smoke it later.

Name: Jason (character=Barney) Date: 04/16/00 20:24:17 MD
Cool down, Chicky. Let Andy make the scene.

Name: Jason Cromer (character=Andy and Gomer) Date: 04/16/00 20:22:56 MD
ANDY: Now don't tell anybody about this Gomer.
GOMER: Not even you?

Name: Helen Crump Taylor (character=Andy to Opie) Date: 04/14/00 21:14:08 MD
Andy: I love you more than anything or anybody.

Name: Dr. Pindike (character=Ernest T. & Anj) Date: 04/13/00 14:14:30 MD
Anj: Could you tell me what's on the western border of the United States?
Ernest T.: Old Man Kelsey's Woods!
Anj: No, it's a big body of water.
Ernest T.: Old Man Kelsey's River!
Anj: No, no, no, it's an ocean.
Ernest T.: Old Man Kelsey's Ocean!

Name: Barney Fife Sr. (character=Gome, Anj, and Barn) Date: 04/11/00 14:09:25 MD
Gome: A decoy! Shazam!
Anj: That's right, just a decoy.
Gome: A decoy! Shazam!
Anj: Just that. Like I was saying...
Barn: How do you like that, a decoy.
Anj: Shazam.

Name: Allan (character=Floyd) Date: 04/08/00 10:48:29 CDT
Hello, Barney. You're on a horse? I wouldn't mention it but..I just wasn't expecting it.