The Taylors' Front Porch

Pull up a chair! Have a sit-down an' shoot the breeze with us. Later on, maybe we'll go down to the drugstore to get a sody. . . maybe see what's showin' at the pitcher house. . . . What you gonna do tonight, Barn?

July 8, 1997 - Msg 13761:

Question: What do all of the following people have in common?

  • Cher, singer, song writer, actress
  • Bill Clinton, President of the United States
  • Ellen DeGeneres, sitcom acress, avowed lesbian
  • Larry Flint, owner and publisher of Hustler magazine
  • Newt Gingrich, Speaker of the House of Representatives
  • Billy Graham, world-renowned evangelist and theologian
  • Andy Griffith, television and movie actor, singer, comedian
  • Rafe Hollister, pseudonym for me, but I really mean ME
  • Dr. Jack Kevorkian, aids terminally-ill patients in committing suicide
  • Charles Manson, convicted mass-murderer
  • Timothy McVeigh, convicted bomber of Oklahoma Federal Building
  • Mother Theresa, helper of the helpless, took vow of poverty
  • Madeline Murray O'Hare, leader of the American atheist movement
  • Dan Rather, network television news anchor
  • Ted Turner, television and media mogul
  • Answer: I'm not going to tell you right away. Think it over, talk it over, whatever, and tell me what you think. I'll give the answer later this evening. HINT: The above is not an all-inclusive list!

    --Rafe Hollister
    "Mayberry Minutemen, always ready with the answers?" ~Andy

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13762: Mornin', dears. A beautiful day today. Hope everyone has a great day and enjoys the sunshine. Great day for traveling, Emma. The sun will shine in your back door today, Mary Grace. If'n it don't, I won't lose my job cause I don't work for the weather bureau, either. But here's hoping it's beautiful in your neck of the woods today. Never seen Sarah's Party Line so full as it was last night. Everybody talking at once! A good place to pick up TAGS trivia, especially if Floyd's on. I still got my good eye on you, Grovely. You're a might tall, aren't ya? Well, on my way to Bible study shortly, I'll have the ladies say a prayer for y'all, cause you're all precious friends. Have a marvelous day. Love, Momma

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13763: I think they are all left handed.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13764: The New River train is about West Virginia, my home state. I think it
    was somehow connected to the C&O (good ole chessie). I collect C&O
    and Chessie stuff, in case somebody has some. While I'm at it, I also
    collect ESSO stuff. To bad they didnt have a ESSO in Mayberry. It would
    have fit in well. HAPPY MOTORING!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13765: Hmm......I gotta go put a bucket on, Rafe!
    Momma, that was great fun at Sarah's was'nt it? (until the big boot)
    Have a Mayberry Day everyone!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13766: Good mornin' all. The sun is shining and it is beautiful here today, Momma. I think MSG13763 has the right answer. I have to run some errands. Will be back in later. Have a Mayberry kind of day, everyone. Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13767:
    "He ought not be allowed to answer the phone....HE'S A MINOR!"
    ha ha ha...That ep had a whole mess of good lines/quotes in it!
    "Pa, just what can you do with a grown woman?"
    "Here I am you lucky girl. You play your cards right and mebbe I'll let you walk with me."
    "....and then you go over to her MOTHERS...and it's a fun day all around..."
    Can yall think of anymore?
    Hey to all my budinski's!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13768: I took a look at the book, "TV Sets" by Mark Bennett. ( As a kid he drew the floorplans of homes of tv shows.) He drew a map of Mayberry . He states that the home that Helen lives in also was the home of Miss Peggy's. Take note of the kitchen door that leads to the porch. It changes location from the BW shows to the color shows.
    JP- I thought Goober night at the Mayberry Cafe was on Thursdays??
    I've only been there once & would love to return. -Pickles

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13769: "Neet? Barn, cockadoodle do..."

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13770: re.:13754: Didn't Aunt Bea sing "China Town" in the Show with the Medicine Man Tonic? (Ange, She's gassed!)

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13771: I think #13763's right. They're all left-handers?? I know the president is, anyway. Seems like we saw Ellen writing something on her show and commented on it. Then again, I may be dreaming.
    ESSO!!! I actually remember ESSO stations ('fill it up with ethel - yuk yuk). Down in these parts we had Enco. See how old I am to remember that? I also remember when MasterCard was MasterCharge.
    Hey Pickles, I do believe that I recall Lydia's and Thelma Lou's house as being one in the same, too. Same furniture, just rearranged. Someone scope those out from your tapes and tell me if you don't think so, too.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13772: One IN the same?? Make that one AND the same.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13773: Hey Pickles you may be right...somehow Tuesday seemed to stick in my mind, though...But, them days that end in "Y" always seem to run together on me. Them Mendlebright sisters must have been on at Sarah's when I tried...But, I'll keep at it. Finally got around to joining WBMUTBB, something I should have done ages ago...thanks for the extry push Floyd. it's too pretty to work and since I was in Sunday, it's COMP-TIME City for this cat....I'll speak from home later.JP

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13774: How did Hal Smith do that with his eyeballs I wonder.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13775: Thyroid disease was how Marty Feldman did it.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13776: I wonder what causes that

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13777: I think Toot-toot-tootsie was the song Aunt Bea sang when she got gassed on the Medicine Man's elixir. ch (Good morning to all!)

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13778: Afternoon Mayberry!! Reading all that I've missed on the porch didn't take as long as usual. Welcome to the newcomers. Hey to ch, de?, JP, Juanita, Rafe, Jets, Jennie, MaryGrace, Momma, **Barn, Emma and Merle Dean. Glad to see such a "Friendly Town." Mi?? Ellen Brown. "It's no mystery to me." (Barney).

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13779: Toot Toot Tootsie good bye, Toot Toot Tootsie don't cry......

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13780: When DID Aunt Bea sing China Town? That'n is preying on my mind. ch

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13781: Hey ch...It's up there above...When she was a swinger with John Canfield.JP

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13782: I made an earlier posting that we Minnesotan's are proud that the Mayberry theatre showed the epic "The Monster that Ate Minnesota" - it really was titled "The Beast that Ate Minnesota". Anyway - we are still very proud. A movie that will make you laugh, make you cry. "He assaulted me.....assaulted me real bad" dh

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13783: Cool sweep, Frank. Like Barney said, "It was a gas."

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13784: Sweep? I thought I felt something.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13785: Thanks, JP. Don't know what I was thinking. Next time I'll put the bucket on my HEAD! ch ("Don't know what I did to deserve all this attention, but whatever it is, I ain't ever gonna do it again." (Ange))

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13786: Woooowooo...d'ja see the way ol' Frank swept the porch...didja? Just kinda floated that ol' broom out there and WOOOOOSH! He's smooth that Frank...and to think he's a big important feller, too. You know what they say..."the bigger they are...the nicer they are".JP

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13787: If being left-handed is the answer to the above question, then former President Bush, Micheal Landon, and I could also be included in the list.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13788: "Uh Oh, keep it down! Here comes Viola Slat...she's the biggest gossip in town."

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13789: What shows were on today both WGN and TBS?. Thanks!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13790: Monty Burns from the Sipmsons is also left handed, as is Flanders and Moe.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13791: Good afternoon everybody. My mom is left-handed and so is one of my nephews. My mom is REAL proud of it and tells everybody. My nephew is an excellent baseball player. Some folks consider it a handicap, but I don't know, I'm not left-handed. Anybody know what the special at the diner is tonite? Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13792: Hey all! Been a while since I last checked in...busy, busy, busy! Say Pickles...I have that book "TV Sets" and I question some of his positioning of the houses and such on the Mayberry map. Interesting, though. And did you notice the Petrie layout from the DVD Show? Apparently there was such an interest in the layout of that set that an architect actually designed a house just like it and sold the blueprints. Imagine, one day you may set foot in a house designed just like the Petries! Yup, left-handed, Rafe. That has to be the answer. By the way, I, too, remember known near and far, by the way, as EXXON. Apparently, in Japanese the word "esso" means "stalled car." Not good when it comes to pitchin' petrol. Have a good July evenin' all! Sign me, Nate Bracey.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13793: Nope, left-handed ain't the answer to what all of the above folks have in common. Try again! Okay, here's another hint: All of YOU belong on that list, too (when I said the list wasn't all-inclusive, I wasn't just whistlin' Dixie)!
    --Rafe Hollister
    "Boy, you wouldn't notice a muddy elephant in the snow, would you?" ~Barn

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13794: Hey, De?! I 'member Enco stations, too. I thought it was kinda rude for 'em to change the name to Exxon back when they did (I kinda took it PERSONAL for some reason). Wasn't there also a service station chain called Sinclair (their logo had a big, green dinosaur on it) who was bought out, or else just changed their name, to Arco? Remember that'n?
    --Rafe Hollister
    "Now think back, think back to the Spring of 1938, Miss Webster's biology class. You flunked! Don't you remember, you was disecting that grasshopper and you froze!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13795: Hey, ch! Aunt Bee did too sang Chinatown in the Aunt Bee's Medicine Man episode! Remember? She was leadin' th' church ladies at th' meetin', and it started off with Aunt Bee bouncin' on th' piano bench 'for ever'body chimed in? 'Member?
    --Rafe Hollister
    "Oh, it'll be a red-letter day in Mayberry if the whole Ladies' Aid Church Committee gets CROCKED!" ~Barn

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13796: Nate Bracy, Nate Bracy , Nate Bracy.Where you been so long.We really missed you in the AMEM corner down at the church!Rev. Tucker

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13797: Left handed ! Naw that can,t be it!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13798: Paul McCartney's left handed, too. But since that ain't it, I'd hafta guess they're all TAGS watchers? Naw, that cain't be it cuz Oprah would be on there. Aw heck. I give UP!
    All Southerners? Naw, Charlie Manson and Mother Theresa ain't Southerners. Heck fire, all the porchsters ain't Southerners. You better come clean, Rafe Hollister! Barney's gonna lock you up!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13799: Yes, Rafe, you are exactly right about Aunt Bee singing "China Town" along with all of the church ladies in the "Medicine Man" episode. Saw it just the other day. Emma called this afternoon from her new cellular phone as she buzzed down the highway toward Dollywood. Watch out for Barney, Emma! If he don't catch ya for speeding, he might get you for talking while jaywalking! She said to tell everyone hello and she sure will miss being at Sarah's tonight. I'm watching you with my good eye, Grovely Barch (and my bad one, too!) You're a might tall, aren't you? Huh? Huh? Huh? Love, Momma

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13800: Ummmm..... we're all alive? All dyslexic? SPILL IT RAFE HOLLISTER!!!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13801: Spill Rafe.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13802: I don't think Mrs. O'Hare is alive....

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13803: You're gettin' on my last nerve, Rafe Hollister. You better spill it and quick and it BETTER be good after all this head bangin'! Tell it Tell it!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13804: Oh she's alive alright. She's just runnin from the tax man. She and her son.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13805: I GIVE!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13806: I know, we all have computers! No?

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13807: I give, too.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13808: Mother Theresa has a puter?

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13809: Awww you KNOW she do.....................

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13810: If not she knows a lotta people who do.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13811: Where is that bumbling baritone anyway?

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13812: Esso was named because of Standard Oil (S.O.) thus Esso. They had to ise Exxon
    because of license complications. Esso is still in Canada and elsewhere.
    I remember the Sinclair dinosuar, see it quite a bit at petro shows. Any
    body remember SOC, it;s mascot was a boy with a flattop wearing boxing
    gloves. I also remember American, later called standard. What does this
    have to do with TAGS, I still say they needed a good ole ESSO station.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13813: Where are you, Rafe? Spill it!!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13814: Question: What do Boston's have in common?
    --Rafe Hollister
    "Rafe's Minutemen, never ready with the answers?"

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13815: Rafe, stop being obtuse and tell us all ready!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13816: I got a guess? All their names are typed in BOLD.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13817: Evenin' all. Just got home from my Florida trip. Had a wonderful time, little Sugarplum rode the seadoo, visor hat in place, wearing her lifejacket. She's a sight!! Guess it's good to be home, but sure do mmiss that beautiful place, sunset over the lake, etc.
    Rafe, your question has us all a-buzz. Here's my guess as to what we all have in common: God loves us all and send His Son to die for us, yes, even for Charles Manson, if he will repent and believe. Is that it?
    Des, Emma, Flora, all you gals -- we ought to get together and have us a big old hen party sometime. I'll make us some sweet tea with lemon and mint, and some big old cookies, and we'll have ourselves a time. Just say when!! -- Romeena

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13818: Yeah, but he said it included us. I just don't get it.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13819: Romeena, you could fax me some of that tea if you'd a mind to. A hen party sounds purty good, only I'm not exactly the hen type. I'm more an emu. I hear they're selfish, too. I'll do it!
    Rafe, you better spill. The natives are getting restless.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13820: De?, I tried faxin' you some of that tea, but my fax just sort of fizzed, sparked and died. Wonder what causes that? -- Romeena

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13821:
    Ok, Rafe....
    they are not all boys, not all gals
    they are not all married to a power hungry female
    they are not all christians or athiests
    they are not all actresses or actors or victims of spousal abuse
    ...hmmmm...they aren't all left handed...they aren't all TAGS fans (?)
    ...killers....or saints.....singers or sherriffs.....they are homosapiens!
    ?....they are (we are) english speaking....Americans?...nope...
    they all have noses? THEY ALL HAVE NOSES!!!!! right?
    This is a tough one!
    Hey to all my bud-a-ramas,

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13822: Juanita, you're a mess. A nice mess. (Y'gotta be careful when you're callin' people messes, y'know.) Your guesses were as good as mine. I wish he'd tell us! C'mon, Rafe, for the love of Mike just spill it!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13823:

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13824: Yeah!!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13825:

    Question: What do all of the following people have in common?

  • Cher, singer, song writer, actress
  • Bill Clinton, President of the United States
  • Ellen DeGeneres, sitcom acress, avowed lesbian
  • Larry Flint, owner and publisher of Hustler magazine
  • Newt Gingrich, Speaker of the House of Representatives
  • Billy Graham, world-renowned evangelist and theologian
  • Andy Griffith, television and movie actor, singer, comedian
  • Rafe Hollister, pseudonym for me, but I really mean ME
  • Dr. Jack Kevorkian, aids terminally-ill patients in committing suicide
  • Charles Manson, convicted mass-murderer
  • Timothy McVeigh, convicted bomber of Oklahoma Federal Building
  • Mother Theresa, helper of the helpless, took vow of poverty
  • Madeline Murray O'Hare, leader of the American atheist movement
  • Dan Rather, network television news anchor
  • Ted Turner, television and media mogul
  • Answer: I'm not going to tell you right away. Think it over, talk it over, whatever, and tell me what you think. I'll give the answer later this evening. HINT: The above is not an all-inclusive list!

    --Rafe Hollister
    "Mayberry Minutemen, always ready with the answers?" ~Andy

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13826: Gosh, Romeena, sorry 'bout your fax. I guess I shoulda just had you fax the cookies.
    ~Dex~ no, ~Dez~, wait that ain't it
    ~De?~ Yeah! (I gotta itchy trigger fanger)

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13827: OOOoooooo, he did it to us again!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13828: Well Rafe, I was gonna guess they's all published.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13829: Will you help us??

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13830: He said it applied to all of us, too, though. I ain't been published. Well not since the high school paper.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13831: Well ain't the porch kinda-sorta-almost published?

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13832: I've got the answer!!!! They all wonder how Barney can disguise his voice like Dr. Pendyke.
    Andrew Paul Lawson

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13833: Aw pooh. It better be something juicier than that!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13834: Okay Rafe, come clean now! Or I'm gonna have to just write you out a ticket, fella!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13835: Andrew Paul Lawson! Whatta great name!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13836: Think we may have to invoke the Count on this'un.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13837: Sorry, but I give. I'll check in tomorrow for the answer. 'Night ever'body. 10-4.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13838: Who'd ever thunk we'd have to BEG Rafe to talk!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13839: settle down now

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13840: Evenin' everbody. Night Barn. They all have uvulas! Nice, real nice MaryGrace. "I got a uvula, you got a uvula, all God's chillin' got a uvula!" (Barney)

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13841: Please Rafe! I wanna be able to sleep tonight.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13842: Seriously, Rafe. Are they all of Indian heritage? Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13843:

    Answer:, They have all smoked pot, and not inhaled!

    --Rafe Hollister
    "Mayberry Minutemen, always ready with the answers?" ~Andy

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13844: They all got uvulas! dang that made me laugh!Neeter

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13845: I'm gonna have to go see Dr. Pendyke, cause all this worrying is giving me the hives. It can't be they're all from the South, Mother Theresa just throws a hammer into every conclusive answer I start to draw.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13846: That's not it....right?

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13847: I've inhaled. Your quiz stunk, Rafe. Please tell me that ain't it and you ain't Rafe.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13848: I betcha Cher's inhaled, too. Is #13843 really the answer to the quiz, Rafe?
    Shady Grove, my little love
    Shady Grove, I say
    Shady Grove, my little love
    I'm bound to go awayyy..............

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13849: Somebody better make another pitcher of tea, this is gonna take a while, I fear. Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13850: That couldn't have been Rafe. It's just someone pullin' our laigs. (I hope) How you doin' tonight, Mary Grace?

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13851: Rafe, do they all have blue eyes? Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13852:

    Rafe, tell me it aint so!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13853: First things first: Whoever is a-signin' my name since MSG 13795 AIN'T ME, and I wish you'd just stop it. Now that THAT's outta th' way, here goes:

    Hey, ever?body! I had to step away fer awhile, but I?m back now!

    Okay, okay. I?ll tell ya what the folks up in the list and all of you have in common. I know you?re a-thinkin?, ?What could I POSSIBLY have in common with both Charles Manson and Mother Theresa, let alone all the other folks on the list and on this Porch?? Well friends, it don?t stop there. In fact, every person on the face of the Earth has this one thing in common. What is it? It?s the LOVE OF GOD, that?s what it is.

    Now some?a you are sayin?, ?Aw, c?mon, Rafe! You ain?t gonna sit there and tell me that God loves Charlie Manson and Timothy McVeigh! Now, Mother Theresa and Billy Graham I can understand, but not those other, BAD folks!? And I?m tellin? you that?s EXACTLY what I?m a-tellin? you. Not only THAT, but God loves EVERYBODY th? SAME, with unyielding, undying, unconditional love. Which means, there ain?t nuthin? a body can do to make the Lord love you any less or any more than He already does. His is a PERFECT love.

    Having said that, another question comes to mind: If God loves EVERYBODY th? SAME, does that mean that EVERYBODY is gonna git to Heaven at the end of their physical life here? Unfortunately, th? answer to that?n is NO. Ya see, God is not only the source of PERFECT love, He IS PERFECTION ITSELF. What that means is, God can?t have nuthin? nor nobody that is IMPERFECT up there in Heaven with Him. Is anybody here PERFECT? I shore ain?t. And I don?t think we?ll see many hand go up to claim that distinction here, nor anywheres else in the world.

    So what?s a body to do? If God won?t let us imperfect folks up in Heaven, how in th? world are we gonna git there? How in th? world can ANYBODY git there? Well folks, th? answer don?t come from this world. God provided th? answer himself. I know it don?t make no sense, bein? as how we?re all imperfect and all, but that?s God?s LOVE a-shinin? thru again! God provided His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, as a sacrifice for US. And friends, all it takes to assure your place in Heaven is to ACCEPT that free Gift from God, and turn your life over to Him. It?s so easy a child could do it (my two eldest daughters, ages 10 and 7, already have!).

    I?ll finish this off now, but I?d like anybody that?s of a mind to t? be able to git more information about this wonderful, most precious gift. Click HERE to read more about it. And, if?n any of you folks would like to talk to me ?bout it personal-like, you can contact me via email by clicking Rafe Hollister. I hope to be hearin? from some of ya. And don?t worry none, I ain?t gonna bring this up again. I just got the desire to share this good news with you kind folks, so I presented it here for your contemplation.

    --Rafe Hollister
    "If there's one thing I don't wanna do it's hurt a lotta women." ~Barn

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13854: I'm just fine as can be De?. I still gotta get my list made for ya from that contest a couple weeks ago. I thought of that today. I been so busy and all and you got flooded and then we had the 4th of July and the picnic and everthang. Anyways, I hope to get at that here in the next few days. How about yourself? How you a doin'? Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13855:

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13856: ditto.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13857: We knew that Rafe. All of us. But thanks anyway.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13858: Jeeeeeepers Rafe.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13859: good bye porch! it's been nice. i will go to local prayer meetings from now on...Otis

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13860: Well at least now we know. I'm tard. Think I'm gonna finish this load of laundry and hit the hay! Y'all have a great evenin' and I'll holler at ya manana. G'night Rafe and Mary Grace and Andrew Paul Lawson and Juanita and **Barn and everyone else on tonight.
    ~De?~ :)

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13861: Des, just wanted to let you know that Jimmy Buffet is on Letterman 2nite!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13862: Night everybody. Think I'm gonna call it a night, too. It's 11:45 PM here and this ain't Raleigh you know. Past time for my head to hit that piller. Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13863:

    To RAFE: Mr. HTML Programming Wanabe Himself

    Thanks for the dirty trick.

    Preach someplace else dork:(

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13864: Got called away again... Sorry I missed sayin' g'night to De? an' MaryGrace.
    --Rafe Hollister
    "All right, break it up, Floyd!" ~Barn

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13865: Whoa, #13861!! I think I'll be awake a leeetle longer........... THANK YOU EVER-SO-MUCH!!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13866:
    Spread a little sunshine ev'ryday,
    Spread a little sunshine ev'ry way,
    Help someone along life's wa-a-ay,
    Spread a little sunshine ev'ryday...
    I think I'll stick around here for awhile, ever'body's so nice an' all...

    --Rafe Hollister
    "All this goin' on and I'm supposed to go back and shake doorknobs on a bunch of penny-ante stores." ~Barn

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13867: I'm still around, for a few anyway. Gotta catch Buffett. Probably a rerun of the Christmas show, tho-

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13868: Hey, De?, say "Hey" to Jimmy for me, will ya?

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13869: Romeena, you was right all along. I knowed somebody on th' Porch would git it...
    --Rafe Hollister
    "Guilt's written all over him." ~Barn

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13870: Rafe, nobody would mind your crap if you didn't continually take up bandwidth on the porch. Just say Amen!
    You are initiating a Moulage. You have NO IDEA what you have started. I am a Man of God, and dispise what you have done.
    You cannot force religion down folks throats, especially when most of the folks on this porch are good, God loving folks.
    wake up man.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13871: Some will agree with Rafe, some with Otis, most somewhere in between. Perhaps we can nip it in the bud before it starts?? I 'spect, bein' that this is a trivia-oriented place, that Rafe's answer was a tad anti-climactic, but then again, he had good intentions. All in favor of just movin' on down the line on this one?? Just a thought..........
    Yours peacefully, ~De?~

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13872: Otis, I'm not forcing anything down anybody's throat. I'm simply outlining the way folks can know for certain where they will wind up after this little ol' life is done. Every man woman and child has a right to make up his or her own mind about whether or not they will accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. I'm not talking about religion here. I'm talking about Jesus. I'm sorry you don't appreciate my efforts to help spread the word.
    --Rafe Hollister
    "You know he don't say much in town, he shore talks a lot around the house, don't he?" ~Barn

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13873: De?, thank you for reiterating what I said in my original message. I'm not gonna harp on the subject. I just planted a seed.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13874: Rafe, I aint sorry for what I said, but you have NO IDEA what I've been thru as of late. Also, I want to say I admire your way with words, it's just I disagree with how you use them. Everyone here probably gets a knock on the door weekly from someone handing out the word. I have gotten the Word myself, and accept Jesus as my Saviour. I believe this is not the format for such discussion, maybe you should start a Reverend Tucker page on your own. I mean no disrespect, but I am shocked that you would bring that to this forum.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13875: It was brought to this forum because I love the people who are here (even though I don't even know them in an intimate way), and I would much rather step on somebody's toes than go through life just assuming that folks have already heard the word and find out later (after I get to Heaven) that I missed the chance to "Help someone along life's way". Peace, Brother.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13876: Rafe did you get my e-mail? Hoggette

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13877: Rafe, If you have a HOTLINE to God, let me know!...

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13878: I got it, Hoggette. Thanks very much.
    --Rafe Hollister
    "Mayberry: Gateway to Danger" ~Barn

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13879: Maybe he has a "BatPhone"!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13880: Otis, everyone who's accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior has a HOTLINE to God! No intermediary is required; just pray to God in Jesus' name, and the Lord will hear you, and your prayers will be answered...
    --Rafe Hollister

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13881: Otis it seems like the only one that is starting a moulage is YOU!!!!!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13882: Rafe, you have overdone it for me. I came here to read TAGS material. Are you an ex-smoker? I know those types, always trying to get everyone else to quit too. GEEZ!
    Otis is History

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13883: Your prayers will be answered only if the Lord sees fit! His will above our own. I think most of us have the spirit here on the porch. Try one of them nasty chat rooms if you really wanna reach people!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13884: You are getting my panties in a bunch. Everyone sign your posts. The only one I didn't sign was July 8, 1997 - Msg 13861:

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13885: Whoever said that the Lord would answer your prayers the way you see fit? I didn't. I said that the Lord would answer your prayers. He will. It may not be the answer you're seeking, but He will answer.
    --Rafe Hollister

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13886: Yea Rafe. Ok Rafe. You're right Rafe. Whatever you say Rafe. You're never wrong Rafe. Since were all screwed up anwyay why should I sign.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13887: I'm wrong plenty of times, Bud. It just so happens that in this particular case, I'm sorry, but you're the one that's wrong.
    --Rafe Hollister

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13888: Why? because I believe the Lord's will is more important that my own? shows how much you know

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13889: "Im right and you're wrong". Any wonder why people tune out?

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13890: No, you're wrong because you accused me of placing my will above the Lord's, and I didn't. I agree, the Lord's will is paramount. You'll get no argument from me there. Go back and re-read the messages of you have to.
    --Rafe Hollister

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13891: Ok I read them. Not "accusation" one.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13892: Hey Rafester! I like your message, I just don't get the picture next to your message. What gives? Are you saying that we can't eat meat, and that we cant eat meat?

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13893:
    From (I assume) your prior message:

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13883: Your prayers will be answered only if the Lord sees fit! His will above our own.

    All I'm saying is, the Lord does see fit to answer the prayers of one of His children. I never said His answer would be what we expect; it is totally in His hands what answer He will give. But He will answer.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13894: Looks like Otis the Man of God is messing with the graphics. Nice, real nice, Otis. I 'preciate all th' help you're bein', and I'm sure the Lord does, too.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13895: Right! Thank you for comfirming wht I said.
    Now, I'm going to do the Christian thing and turn the other cheek like our Lord did and let YOU have the last word and I suspect there will be a lot of them.
    Good night Rafe and God bless you and all the others here.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13896: Leave Otis alone. Otis is n't me and I'm not Otis. He wouldn't stoop so low. You dont know Otis and you don't have any right to sarcastically call him "MAN OF GOD". You need to practice what you preach.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13897: whoever penned July 8, 1997 - Msg 13891: and previous ones, can you please sign your name, because it wasn't me........otis

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13898: please sign it?

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13899: i agree with July 8, 1997 - Msg 13891:, i just want the wisdom of another to be known...

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13900: no. Religous zealots scare me.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13901: Hoggette, did you get my email?

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13902: Matthew 7:3- "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
    John 8:7 "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone."
    I guess none of us can say anything! Hoggette

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13903: Amen and Amen, Hoggette.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13904: It looks like Hoggette has become of one of Brother Rafe's followers.
    Look out Mayberry, sounds like another WACO, or Wacko!
    Otis, outa here, goin to watch TAGS, GEEZ

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13905: Amen, Hoggette. You're right and I appreciate that.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13906: Yes, Rafe I got your e-mail. No Otis I'm not one of Rafes followers, I'm a follower of Jesus Christ, just like you! RIGHT!!!! (msg 13870) Those are verses straight out of the bible, not something I made up. Isn't it great how God has stuff for us that applies to everyday life? Hoggette

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13907: Hoggette, you're an amazin' woman, you know that?

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13908: She sure is. I think we ALL ought to heed her good will.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13909: The quality of mercy is not strained..................
    You're not talking to a jerk you know!

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13910: WHAT? Who are you 13909? Hoggette

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13911: Hoggette, that 13909 quote is one'a Barney's from TAGS. I don't remember the episode, but it's a good'n too!
    P.S. I keep gettin' bouncin' email on your end.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13912: Well, maybe the last'n got thru... Check yer email.

    July 8, 1997 - Msg 13913: Dogs Dogs Dogs.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13914: Howdy! Is anybody out there tonite?

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13915: Thanks Rafe, I'm not as good at the quotes as most of the Porchsters, I usually just like to read and try to learn. I leave the quoting up to Shawnee and Mayberry Band Member they are better at it than I. Yes I'm getting your e-mail. Well I guess I better get off of here in a few its 3:30 a.m. gett'n tired. Goodmorning All! Hoggette

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13916: Goodnite Hogette.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13917: Night-night, Hoggette.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13918: It's almost 4 Is anyone our there?

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13919: Msg 13914, I'm here if you want to talk...

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13920: Whew! I checked in this morning after not doing so for a very long time. Any wonder I don't bother any more?!?
    For those of you who care/remember me, I move back to the US in one week!! I am really happy.
    Hey to those few folks from way back when...if any of you are still around...

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13921: Hey to Englishter...
    --Rafe Hollister

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13922: There was no room at the Inn in Bethlehem for Jesus, either.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13923: I think most people here, to one degree or another,
    agree with you, Rafe...
    it's just that there are 3 things most of us feel
    should not be dicussed here on the Porch...
    (1)Religion (2)Politics (3)that 'causin'
    because "all three will go on and on if you
    give 'em their head" (Ange to Opie in The Spoiled Kid)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13924: Thanks for your input, Jelsik. I won't be mentioning Jesus again whilst on th' Porch, if'n I can help it...

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13925: P.S. Hey to Englishter.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13926: "Facts is facts." (Barn) ch (sincerely missing MERLE DEAN'S moulages.)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13927: Could we perhaps change the subject and start a TAGS topic? "We're sinkin."

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13928: I go to Nashville for one day and come back and read the porch and what do I get, heart aches, nothing but heart aches.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13929: Good morning to everbody on the porch. It is a beautiful Mayberry day and if we try real hard I know we can get right past this unfortunate moulage. Hey to Englishter, glad to hear you will soon be back with us. Hang in there, things had been really fun lately, lots of contests and TAGS dialogue and what have you. And it will be fun again! Good to see everybody today. Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13930: What happened to the posts that actually had some connection to THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW???

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13931: Hey ! I would like to join in wth y'all on the front porch. Hope y'all will make room for me.
    Say Hi to Barney.
    Thelma Lou

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13932: Msg 13930 AMEN. Rule #1 number one. An officer of the law shall enforce law and order with out regard of his personal safty and well being. Rule #1 number two. Obey all rules.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13933: May I please submit a topic for discussion? What minor character would you have liked to see more of? I would have enjoyed seeing more of Burt Miller after he got his job at Weaver's. He was so sweet and what a salesman! :-)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13934: Hey to :-) I don't know if you would call her a minor character or not but I liked Peggy cause she cranked my tractor.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13935: My dog Oliver Gossage and I would appreciate seeing more of Ernest T. Bass, although with his charisma, he might not qualify as a minor character even though he was in only four episodes.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13936: You want me to put you in jail Ernest T. (Andy) Wouldn't make me no never mind, I likes a little high liven every now and then. (Ernest T)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13937: I think Lydia was a hoot. She could have been the town's albatross. ch ("What about me and Lydia?" (Goob). "Yeah, what ABOUT you and Lydia?" (Barn)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13938: Mrs. Mendlebright was my favorite minor character.
    Our cable got knocked out by a thunderstorm last night, later can someone let me know what TBS shows I'm missing today? I'm trying to get "The sermon for Today" on tape!

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13939: RAFE HOLLISTER- IF


    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13941: Welcome Thelma Lou, so glad to have you with us. I would have liked seeing more of my namesake, MaryGrace. She and Gomer would have made a cute pair. And I agree, that Lydia would have been a great permanent girlfriend for Goober. There were many I would like to have seem more of. Of course, if only the show could have gone on forever, we would all have been happier. Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13942: What character do you not like to see?

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13943: Hey Englishter...hurry back safe...We'll leave the light on for you. There's this Big healthy girl in N.Y.C. who has been waiting night and day, rain or shine to welcome you back. Morning to the rest of you folks...After last nights moulage I almost hate to mention this but, I'm about to bust! I live in a small town in the Commonwealth, we're kinda the Gateway to Apalachia on one hi-way, the Bluegrass on the other. Well, last night the Mrs. (Dr.) Paul, PhD (sorry, I'm so proud!)and me was tending to the garden...Our mayor(and barber) is about to be impeached and the Cincinnati, Louisville and Lexington news folks are all over town. Anyway it was just like when they fixed up Frank Meyers house! News van pulls up and sees my lovely Missus and her flowers and put her ON THE 11:00 news. Had her name on the screen and let her talk and everything...They made me and the dogs stay in back. She even said (just like ETB, "Can I slick down first (not on camera though) and don't shoot below the knees...we've just about got the world convinced we do wear shoes"....Oh it was a sight! They shot all kinds of artistic pictures through the fountain and the sprinklers, AND if you look real, real close there's one part where you see way down toward the woods and it's either me or Bigfoot in the picture. Of course after they left I did my own viewfinder-thing with my hands just so the dogs would'nt feel slighted. Oh and Mary Grace you took my answer to Rafe's query "All God's "chillin" got a uvula" had you only added "and HE loves 'em for it!" The whole thing could have been nipped. Let's make this an OUTSTANDING Day. JohnnyPaul

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13944: G'mornin! It's gonna be a hot one today I can tell. Just a little after 10:00 (CST) and already uncomfortable outside.
    I had an idea last night. Wouldn't Howard McNear and Marion Lorne (Aunt Clara on Bewitched) have made the perfect couple on some show? A little late to be contemplatin' that now, but I just thought that'd be neat. Can anyone else pitcher it?

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13945: Mr Scwump's my favorite....can't get much more minor than him...but, boy there were lots of scenes that just wouldn't be quite right without him. JP

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13946: I'm taking my daughter to a dinner matinee of "Cheaper by the Dozen" in a half hour. I usually try to rent the show, so she can follow along easier. According to the net, Betty Lynn was in the movie and played one of the daughters. I was excited to learn this, but blockbuster doesn't carry the movie :-(

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13947: "Can't say enought about sin"......right Rafe??

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13948: Does anyone know if "The Little Brown Church by the Vail" an actual hymn?

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13949: Re 13948- Yes, it is. Next question...Famous sherrifs for $200 please?

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13950: I have never seen it in a song book in church so if you can rate it a hymn I don't know and some people sing it dale and some as vale but they are both the same thing but it is a great song.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13951: Ya'll are coming up with some good minor characters! Keep it up! "I'm braced." ;-)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13952: Msg 13948 what is your question?

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13953: Burt Mustin sure contributed a lot!

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13954: Yes it's a real hymm...hear it (and sing along at It was written by Dr. Pitt, a minister in Nashua Iowa, you can even see it on Hiwy. 346 (been there, done that..didn't do the Dew). Go to Yahoo, type Nashua you'll get lots of information.JP (I'm not from Iowa, but my beloveded is and there's the only place that's as good as home.)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13955: Sorry that should have been Msg 13949 what is the question?

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13956: MERLE DEAN says "HEY"
    as a former King of the moulage(FAG,FAQ for those with long memeories) I sure hate that I missed a good one last night.Thanks for asking about me CH!
    Welcome back to the colonies Englishster! glad to have ya coming back this way! can ya bring me some Yorkshire pudding or some Walls
    ice cream with ya...I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a...(Well you know the rest)
    here's my thought of the day to ponder-God,who unconditionally loves everyone,simply refuses to recognize the other 2/3 + of the world that don't beleive in Christianty or Jesus as the one and only savior? My we westerners are an ethnocentic lot aren't we! Just something to think about.
    "Shut up Bernie...Just SHUT UP!"

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13957: I keep forgettin' bout George Kennedy's appearance on TAGS. Always liked him.
    "Now men, I hope this has taught you a lesson........... here at the rock............"

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13958: Well-put MERLEDEAN.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13959: Re msg 13952: Sheriff Roy Coffee and his deputy, Clem, kept law and order in this town.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13960: Good afternoon Porchsters. I have a picture on my kitchen wall with two kittens on it and it says "Why can`t people just get along?" I need to apply that more to my own life. Otis, Rafe, I want you two to shake hands and make up We would not want to lose either one of you here. Englishter, hope you come back, you know this goes on occassionally. Otis, you said you had been through a lot lately. I know how you feel. We want to be there for you.Bless you and we love you. Rafe, your heart is in the right place.
    I would like to see more of Frances (Frankie) Flint. I would love to have seen if she caught one of those neighbor farmers, and married and had a family. See less of, I would say Warren, but we weren`t supposed to like him. He was one of those irritating characters. I will check back in a few days, I have said my peace now, and I do say peace and love to all of you. The Lord hears all our prayers, He may not answer them when or how we want Him too, but He answers them, I for one may not always hear Him when I don`t get the answer I want.
    Love yawl. Miss Ellie

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13961: WOW! What a cool way to defuse a moulage......TAGS Jeopardy! That way we can test the limits of copyright law by ripping off 2 telivision shows...Who's up for it? "JeanPaul Trebech" sorta French in a Canadian sort of way.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13962: Oui oui, count moi in!

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13963: JeanPaul, talked to Eaupee lately?

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13964: Look's like 13959 got us started with an answer...bon mots tu voo et voos (or something like that)JP

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13965: Yes, Johnny Paul, had I only known what was a brewin', I would have added somethin', anythin' to nip it. However, I refuse to take any blame for that mess last night, I was not involved in any way and in fact, I signed off when I saw what was happening. Nice, real nice MaryGrace. "I said it and I ain't takin' it back!"

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13966: re 13958...Thank you ! not trying to start anything but if education and learning and reading as much as I do has taught me one is that rarely is one side completely and utterly right....diversity in thought and opinion is what keeps us would be a pretty boring place if we all ran around like a bunch of lemmings! except when it comes to TAGS!
    simply the greatest show ever conceived by the mind of man(there's that I before E rule rearing it's ugly head again)...those aborgines out in Australia just don't know what thar missing!
    p.s. WHO ARE YA 13958?
    don't be ascared to sign
    P.S.S. love that French signature J.P. that was mighty clever!
    "He one of Ours!"
    course after I type all this I realize 13958 might have simply been referring to my TAGS quote!!!!

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13967: Spanglish is easier to faux than Frenglish, ain't it.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13968: Hey to Miss Ellie. You are a sweetheart. Thanks for the kind words, you are so right. Nice, real nice MaryGrace. "Hey Andy. Hey Barn. I dropped my gun." (Gomer)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13969: P.S.S. MERLE DEAN needs help...I saw the first episode where Rose leaves Andy and Opie and Aunt Bee comes into the picture...could someone tell me if I'm right...did the guy that Rose married later play Charlie Foley that operated the grocery store and punched Floyd in the nose for giving him the shave he didn't ask for??????????????THANK YOU,THANK YOU!
    "I want chya to stop this...stop this right now Barney!"(Andy)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13970: Frenglish be hard!

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13971: Another thought that just came to me. I have a friend, we discuss religion often. We both believe differently, but we still love each other. Whether this is the forum for this or not, let us let Frank decide that. We are supposed to spread the gospel. Rafe did as his heart led him. Otis, probably just wants to get away from everything,kick back, relax and just read TAGS related posts. Otis, I like getting away to Mayberry to. Think I will go now and just put my feel ankle deep in Myers Lake. Whatever, let us have a group hug. Miss Ellie

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13972: Miss Ellie, you are a treasurah!

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13973: The gospel's been spread. You done good. Now let's move on please. Let us NIP IT!

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13974: ((((((((((HUG FOR ELLIE)))))))))))))))) and anyone else that need one!

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13975: I always liked that Miss Peggy, overbite and all. She should have stayed in Mayberry longer.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13976: A definite YES to Miss Peggy. Guess logistics or chemistry or something made Aneta Corsaut the "one" but a little more Peggy woulda been nice. She always added a spark to the show. I'm sorry, but I did kinda like Karen, Thelma Lou's skeet-shootin' cousin. I can't pitcher her there for the long haul, though.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13977: Pickles, Thelma Lou's not one of the daughters in Cheaper by the Dozen. She plays a friend of one of the daughters at the end. But she's still goo-o-o-d! One of my favorite family movies. ch (Yep MERLE DEAN, that was Mr. Foley what played Rose's husband.) I was reading a book the other day (can't remember what now), but the word MOULAGE was in there. I just had to laugh. Its funny how certain phrases and words remind me of TAGS and the porch. Whenever I see that episode about Gomer staying with Andy, I always think of MERLE DEAN now and look for that part he's in.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13978: JP, loved your story about you and Mrs. Paul. I can just see them telling you and your dog to stand in the background. ("Why don't you and your dog just stand a little to the left ... yes, no just a little further over ... that's it ... no, a tad more. You've got it!") By this time you're probably standing in the neighbor's yard. ch ("Scat! that's not for kids.") (Aunt Bea to Opie looking through the movie man's fingers.)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13979: Ese moi ans ze De? ze ohn-li wans oup feor TAGS Jeopardy? Ce-est la vi. I weeel an-swear ze fee-erst ques-tee-oan. What ees Ver-jian-ia Cit-teee, Non? (this Frenglish is hard...gotta read it out loud!...then the office mate looks at me curious". Famous criminals for $50.....This near-sighted cattle theif was run up a tree by a bull.JP

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13980: Famous Sheriffs for 200-
    Who is Matt Dillon?

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13981:
    Hey to Englishter! You still moving to Texas? Boy I just got one thang to say to commemorate your arrival:
    "The British is comin', The British is comin'! Get yer guns we gonna have ourselves a Revolution!"
    This reminds me of a right funny story...I'll make it brief:
    Several years ago, I got a job at Quincy's Steak House...I felt like it was a bit corny ... but, I needed the money...I was real nervous about starting my new job, when my roomate said "You know.....when people come in the door of the restaurant you gotta greet them..." I said.."Well, yea...SO!" She said "When they come in you gotta say "WELCOME HOME"!"

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13982: Ooh la la, ZhonPaul. You zpeak ze Fwanch zo lovely. Eet mages my blut boil like ze fire waz leet under eet! hee hee

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13983:
    Sorry, that was me....#13981... Well after getting to work, I asked a fellow employee if she had to say "WELCOME HOME" she didn't know what I was talking about! My roommate still laughs about that story!
    The point of the story is to say just that to our good friend Englisher

    Juanita (would you like fries with that) Beasley

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13984: Ebo Matt Dillon was a marshall, not a sheriff.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13985: What's the supper special, Juanita? Do you wish your character would have been shown? Who would you like to see play her?

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13986: and don't say Marilyn Monroe

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13987: Dolly would have made a great Juanita.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13988: Has anybody noticed that in the side car Barney says motorcycle the first time and motorsicle after that.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13989: As legend tells it a confederate colonel plunged to his ever lastin' callin' there when he was spurned by a yankee women.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13990: Pick,pick,pick.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13991: That's 'cause he got hip daddio....Now cool it while Barn makes the scene in those cool threads...."Gas it up chickie baby".

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13992: Stop that Ebo!...You keep pickin' that and it'll never wanna get blood poisoning? Just let me run over to Walker's for some of that Sulfa powder....hey wait a're a Walker too? You and Miss Ellie related?JP

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13993: hello, porchsters.
    been a while since I've checked in.
    welcome home to the englishter. there'll be a band playing for you (the horn player's had a little blueberry pie).
    things have changed on the porch, but boy have they stayed the same.
    "shawnee ... they're devils."

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13994: Hey Juanita, I know on Tuesdays the special at the diner is corned beef & cabbage, but what are ya havin' today?? Nice, real nice MaryGrace. "I just don't like my main course concealed in a heavy sauce like that." (Barney)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13995: i would like to have seen more of emma brand watson.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13996: Afternoon, all. Yes, Miss Ellie, you are a darlin', a real peacemaker, and that's one reason you are my best good friend. JP, I loved your story about you and your dog. Boy, what if the neighbor's cat had run through your yard about that time? That woulda put them city slickers in their place, wouldn't it? Grovely Barch, forgive me for repeating myself in my last two posts. It's my age, you understand. (Plus the computer froze on the second post, I didn't think it got through!) There is an email from Goobette floating around somewhere in the twilight zone for you. I love y'all. "Barn, don't say any more, you'll have me standing up to my ankles in a pool of tears!" (Andy) Love, Momma

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13997: Famous sheriffs for $400:
    "What famous TV sheriff bore an uncanny resemblance
    to "El-Kabong" (hint: think large nose...a VERY large nose)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13998: PUBLIC Apology time! I am sorry for starting the Moulage. It just struck a cord, I should have just said nothing, but he wouldn't stop. I am sorry, and won't ever do it again.
    Let's shake hands Rafe!
    "Floyd used to practice on cats.We had the baldest cats in the county!"

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 13999: Hoooooooold on there Jelsick-looey! Who was Quick Draw McGraw? Famous tv sheriffs for $600.00. What sheriff usually needed help from Standby-deputies Lucas and Mark McCain?JP

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14000: Hey kelli...long time no post...How's lil' Hogg. Getting toothy yet. Think de? and my Frenglish could fool him?JP

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14001: Otis, you are a prince of a fella!

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14002: Me and Ebo are distant close cousins. My Mama and his Mama are Mama`s. Momma, I love you too, and you better e-mail me real soon! Mary Grace you are too sweet. MERLE DEAN, thank you for the hug. I needed that. Correction on my last post. I misspelled feet. Anyway, it shore felt good soaking my feet and Myers Lake, but fer some reason the fish kept popping up dead!
    Yawl folks are just precious, each and everyone of you. Have a good Mayberry evening. I am trying to get hubby to take me to the Diner. Miss Ellie

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14003: I loved El-Kabong as a kid. I would have liked to see more of Burt, Leon, Miss Peggy, John Masters, Johnny Paul, old Ben Weaver ("You're the limit, Ben, you know that?") Hey to Merle Dean and kelli. The more things change the more they stay the same...know who said that? Calvin Coolidge said that. Sign me, Nate Bracey.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14004: You sure that was Calvin Coolidge? I thought it was Mark Twain. Hey, Nate.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14005: Good afternoon porch. Boy, I thunk we was about to have us a triple trouble here--a 721-8, a 302, and gee whiz, even a 421. I gotta tell ya' I was really goin' there. I hope everyone is well this afternoon. Nate Bracey, Calvin Coolidge didn't say ever'thang now.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14006: I emailed the "Head Honcho" for a SWEEP. We need one, if you guys only knew why I flipped! Rafe, I'm still extending that handshake when you get to the porch!
    Anyways, don't be afraid to post, I am done, stick a fork in me!
    "Ever'body back on th' truck!"

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14007: I feel just like Ange, on that one eps, where Ope was being stingy
    with the charity, and in private -he was saving money for his girlfriend,
    to buy her a coat - because her folks couldn't afford one.
    I remember Opie asking Pa, what's for dinner? And, I remember Ange
    sayin something to the effect of "I don't know what you are having,
    but I'll be having Crow".
    That episode gave me a warm fuzzy all over! Now, that's Humility!!!

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14008: You're a big man, Otis. And so nice.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14009: Good evenin' to everybody on the porch. Ain't it a lovely summer evenin'? Just so purty you can't stay in the house, got ta get out to the ole rockin' chair on the front porch. Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14010: "And get that gun outta your mouth!"

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14011: Otis, you're more than squared up...
    let's move one.
    (good job JP, I'm still workin' on yours... somebody hep me)
    (Hey des!!)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14012: I guess Rafe is on the late shift over to Weaver's. That splains' why he was up until 4am spreading the word. Maybe he'll show up later.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14013: here's a "U-finish" for you, des--
    "I don't even know where we are,
    They tell me we're circling a star..."

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14014: As long a moulage's are being started, does anybody like "the bed jacket?"

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14015: And remember, it is definetly no fun, when the iron door clangs shut!!!

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14016: MERLE DEAN, thanks for the flashback about the FAG-FAQ. Nice, real Nice.<:-)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14017: Otis, I accept your hand in the spirit of love and mutual respect. I too am sorry for the moulage that I participated in, and hope you and the rest of the Porchsters may come to forgive me one day. Please believe that I never intended to offend anyone.
    --Rafe Hollister

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14018: Rafe- thanks

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14019: i forgot to sign 14018:

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14020:
    Hey everbody! I been thankin and thankin about who shudda/wudda played Juanita....
    anybody got any suggestions?....I've got a mental block...
    Glad...soooo see everbody gettin along. :)
    A great big {{{{{{hug}}}}}} to all my bud-a-ramas!

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14021: Shirley MacLaine? Just joking Juanita. I'll try to come up with something better.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14022: I'll take their word, I don't know
    But I'm dizzy so it may be so.......
    (Jesse Winchester)
    P.S. Good'n, Jelsik.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14023: Howdie Hodie! You goin to Sara's? ~Juanita

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14024: Howdie goin to Sara's? J (crank up the icq chicky)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14025: Just left Sarah's, Juanita. I'm gonna crash early tonight.
    H. Snitch

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14026: Juanita- how about a young Debbie Reynolds playin you? She was a good country girl in those Tammy movies.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14027: Nothin' to forgive you for, Rafe. You were just followin' your heart. We all have our own agendas, all just as valid as the others.
    Tried to get in at Sarah's tonight. No dice. :(

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14028: Juanita, I remember this waitress at the bowling alley when I was a little kid named Juanita and she looked an awful lot like that nurse "Mary", the one who needed to give Rafe that shot.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14029: MERLE DEAN is *choke* so glad *sniff* that everyone is getting *SNORT* along again....((((((GROUP HUG))))))))..I'm gettin'
    a little misty eyed here so I'll just say goodnight and pleasant dreams to
    everyone...LOVE TO ALL
    Boy I wish everyone could come over to my porch some saturday evening and bring a covered dish and we could all jaw in person
    course by the end of the evening Rafe and Otis would be punchin' each other in the nose just like Charlie and Floyd and Uncle Otis would be off staring at the stars and Juanita and De? would be trading recipes for "Shine" and ch and me would be boring everyone with our endless talk about the Auburn Tigers and Jets would be speakin' in tongues and of course Hodie would have fallen asleep and Real Nice Mary Grace would be covering him up with a blanket and so on and so on!
    but Howdy it would be some FUN!
    just don't bring any of that Chicken-a-la-king!
    "and all in all it's a fun day!"

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14030: Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll go eat WORMS!

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14031: You got us down PAT, Merle Dean.
    (Try the 'recipe' yet???)

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14032: Oh, Merle Dean, that sounds like such fun! Can Rev. and the youngun's and I come, too? I believe Sarah has given us the BIG FREEZE on both chats, or is it my 'puter? Thought Goobette was gonna throw it out the door before she finally gave up and let me try it. No luck, either. See some others have tried, too. Rats, Ellie and I need a late nighter, we haven't gotten to chat in a while, since Goobette and GB have been hoggin' the line. I messed up again, GB, I meant that I thought my first post didn't go on, not the second. Old age is creepin' up on me fast. Can you hear it? "Rule No. 1 -- Obey all rules!" (Barn) Love, Momma

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14033: Hey to Merle Dean. You sure got all us pegged for sure. I enjoyed that and it sure sounds like fun, but please tell Lillian to bring somethin' besides those awful meatballs! How is everybody doin' this evenin'? Nice, real nice MaRyGrace.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14034: Way to go if we could just arrange a summitt with the arabs and isreal with rafe and oc as the moderators.......
    somthin to think about, when you think about it.....

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14035: Goober, I'll do it! Hey to Momma and Mary Grace. It ain't just you, Momma. I got nulled (and voided). Gettin' nulled ain't no fun. Just ask Jelsik. Where are ya, Rafe?

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14036: RAAAAFE!!!!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUU????????????????????????????????

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14037: As far as the character of Juanita goes. I think either of them would have been to young at the time of course, but Dorothy Lyman or Katey Sagal would have been good in that role. I can't think of many actresses of that time that would have fit the part. Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14038: Rafe hollister, you come to talk to us or else!! Or was that that imposter again?

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14039: Evenin', all. Rafe and Otis, thank you both for showin' us all how as Christians we can end up lovin' one another, no matter what has gone before. 'Nuff said on that.
    While I was in Florida, I checked in at a flea market where there is a lady who sells hard-to-find videos, and asked her about TAGS videos. She knew immediately what I was talkin' about, and told me she had just traded a bunch of them off (drat!) to another dealer out of state because they weren't selling. (Can you imagine?) Anyhow, she's going to try to get them back or find some more for me. Wish me luck.
    Re: the idea of getting Nick at Nite to run TAGS for us, good luck on getting them to run them uncut. Not a chance, I'm afraid. They're as into commercials as anybody else, and it is true, a lot of fans don't have cable. I still think our best bet is Columbia House or somebody like that, to get them to release the tapes for sale. Prob'ly too much legal red tape in that, though. Oh, well, we can wish, I guess.
    Well, I hear my bed a-callin' me, guess I'll turn in. G'night, porch friends. -- Romeena

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14040: Hey De??modena (s)....I got nulled too....that's kinda like gitten 10-4'd right n'the middle of an idear.......

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14041: Best of luck, Romeena. I hope you get them tapes.
    Hey, Juanita, I got a couple of actresses to portray you: 1st choice - Sheree North 2nd choice - Barbara Sharma. Whaddya think?

    July 9, 1997 - Msg 14042: Dang Goober, "De??modena"??? You hadda coupla snorts, boy? Either that or you got some of that extra sensitive perception. You're eerily close to my real name there! hahahahaha! Thanks for the yuks. G'night all!

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14043: I had intended Msg 13853 to serve as a gift, a very small gift to my Porch friends that would, if anyone were so inclined, lead to an even greater gift: The Greatest Gift of All. Now, my small gift will also serve as my good-bye gift to you.

    May God bless and keep you all. I love you.

    --Rafe Hollister

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14044: sure,mike,sure

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14045: Hey, all! (Des, you were a young girl named Juanita? tee hee...sorry, I couldn't pass that one up--it was a gimme!) Us Metholutherbaptisterians try to sit on the back pew and just fade into the woodwork, but I had to say one thing: You guys show me once again why I love this place--you always end up kissin' and makin' up, and this "Big Round Ball" keeps spinning, and all's right with the world (yeah, I knew that song, too!). To quote Sterling Holloway while narraging 'Peter and the Wolf': "How will they ever win if they keep fighting among THEMSELVES?" I think he (Burt) was the best minor character because he was so sweet, quiet, and gentle. I miss him almost as much as I'll miss Jimmy Stewart. And Louis Armstrong. --Elinora

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14046: hey Elinora

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14047: MERLE DEAN is off to the beach for 4 days ...see ya Tuesday ...Hope everyone has a great weekend! Be careful and be nice to everyone...a kind word doesn't cost you a thing!
    "Juanita...Oh,hi Frank!"(Barney)

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14048: hey to Jelsik.

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14049: Rafe, Please don't go. Otis apologized, aint it Christian to forgive?

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14050: I think Flo (from Alice - Polly Holliday) would be a great Juanita. What do you think? ch ("Uh, plain clothesman I presume?") (Malloy)

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14051: MERLE DEAN, you are making me so-o-o jealous talking about going to the beach - again! Not fair. I'm crying and I can't stop. (And I might just hold my breath too.) ch

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14052: Since TAGS often reused actors in different roles, how about Millie playing Juanita a few times before she became Millie?

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14053: Mornin' to the porch. Hope everbody is fine today. Merle Dean, I'm jealous too, I love the beach and haven't been since last year. "You lucky dawg"! I agree with ch that Polly Holliday would have made a good Juanita. I thought about her last night but could only picture her and not remember her name.(It's this old age thing, that Momma talks about. Does funny things to yer memory.) Course the greatest thing about Juanita was her mystique-you always had to IMAGINE how she looked, and you never really knew. Maybe it was better all around just the way it was. Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14054:
    Good Mornin this mornin! (We love you Rafe)
    I can picture Flo as Juanita....Barn liked to walk on the wild side!
    gotta run~Juanita

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14055: Mornin', dears. Evidently our Netscape escaped, and we can't get into the chats at all! I'm having withdrawals (DT's), so's you all may see more of me on here till Rev. Tucker fixes the dumb thing. Going to meet Emma face to face for the first time today. It will be fun - but wish all of you could be there, too, especially my best good friend, Ellie. You're something else yourself, gal. Everyone have a wonderful day. Love, Momma

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14056: MERLE DEAN will walk down to the beach from the house,look out to the great Atlantic ocean(you know it's a boundary),and in a loud clear voice I will say "HEY" from all my land-locked friends from the Porch!
    that's the best I can do since I don't have enought room in my truck for all of ya!
    Rafe please don't got to learn to roll with the punches(or bite their ear)...goodness knows I have been attacked in the missed some great ones before ya got here...'course whose still here(me) and who ain't (them)!
    "Smile and the world smiles with you!"
    SINCERELY,MERLE DEAN (Sensitivity Trainer)
    CH-You know that's good lung excercise!
    "Opie,what are you doing?"(Andy)
    "I'm crying and I can't stop>"(Opie)
    "Well don't get your clothes dirty!"(Andy)

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14057: This is all STRANGE, very STRANGE.....The Masked Avenger

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14058: Purt near surreal, ain't it, Masked Avenger? You're right Elinora, Sterling Holloway was adorable. How ya been doin'? Hey to Jelsik and to Merle Dean I say: "I uh.. something.. in your general direction!" The nerve. Headed to the beach again so soon. I'll show ya! I'm gonna go to Seguin! Just for that. ('Course if you don't know Seguin it wouldn't mean anything.) And a final "YO" to Polly Holliday. Gooooood choice!

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14059: And another thing: Dadburnit, Rafe Hollister, don't take on so! I'm gonna tell you just like they told me when I said goodbye to the porch last year (and take it in the spirit it's given) "Quit your poutin' and get back here and play nice!!! I'm sorry, that was blunt of me, but you think we'd put up with each other if we didn't care?

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14060: "Help,I'm being repressed(by De?)!"(serf)
    "SHUT UP!(King Arthur)
    "Oy,did you see that,that's what I'm on about!"(serf)
    p.s. didn't think I'd know what you were talking about did ya?

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14061: Morning everyone. Here's hopin ya'll have a great day. Mi?? Ellen Brown. "I stay in the house too much."~~Aunt Bee.

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14062: Don't make me get the catapult, MD!

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14063: Hey to JP, Nate Bracey, Nate Bracey, Nate Bracey and all the rest.
    JP, thanks for inquiring about li'l Hog. He is 10 months old today, in fact. He's been a little slow in getting toothy. Has just 2 1/2 so far.
    You been putting any hairs in stagnation water lately?

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14064: Hey Momma, say Hi to Emma

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14065: I thought I had a subscription to "The Bullet", I have not received one for the year 97, does anyone know if one has come out yet?
    Also according to "The Bullet", Aneta Corsaut filmed a TV show which was titled, "Crunch and Des".....Des is this where you got your "name"?
    It's July, is there a TAGS celebration in Ohio this month?

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14066: Hey kelli...Happy 10 months to lil Hog...I'm sure Hallmark has a card, even for that one. Don't worry about his teeth coming in slow....I lost my last baby tooth when I was a junior in college...and that was after my hair started falling out! We've had so much rain, there's no shortage of stagnation water around here....and a whole herd of horses must have run through my yard 'cause I saw 4 snakes whilest I was mowing last night! Good news for you laurie...I don't know if it was Mrs Paul on tv or what but Earnest Stink (that's the cat food eatin' skunk) came by the last 2 nights...He hoses down the front yard then once the cats all hide...eats to his hearts content. You're welcome to him....folks won't stand downwind of me.JohnnyPaul

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14067: Hey Jelsik...think real hard...he usually let "The Rifleman" handle all the gun play...JP

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14068: Miss Clara has done got tired of my mooching ways so I had to try (GULP!) working for a living....So I got hired by Ben Weaver over at his emporium....Things were going pretty good...I found I could pretty much just hang out in the furniture department and sit... not a bad way to earn a living. Anyway this woman comes in and she would not respond to my ignoring her...just kept pestering me with questions and stuff....finally she went and got Ol' man Weaver and said "Sir, I demand that you have this employee of yours help me out!!!" Well that was all I needed to hear so.....I snatched her up and flung her into the street! Hawwwww Hawwww Maybe next time I'll just sit out at the junction with a sign saying "Will loaf for food".Roger Hanover

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14069: Crunch and Des, huh? Wow, I'm more creative than I though cuz I've never heard of it. How innerestin'!

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14070: When was "Crunch and Des" aired?? (sounds like a breakfast cereal). I am (was) a real fan of Anetas' and would love to see it. Hay to Roger Hanover, long time no see. Well, Rafe Hollister, I have somethin' to say to ya. My dear mother has always had a sayin' that goes like this: "if you stick your neck out, you might get your head chopped off." Translation: if you say something, you have to be able to handle the reactions of other people, regardless of how they react. Even if you get your feelins' hurt or offended or whatever, you must remember that. Please take this in the spirit intended and God Bless Ya. Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14071: Odd Fact Known By Few:
    In North Carolina, hogs outnumber people.
    Thank you very much.

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14072: Hey to Jelsik! Thanks for the 'hey'...

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14073: Roger Hanover/Rafe Hollister - I STILL say there's a connection! (Rafe disappears, Roger appears. Poof!) Whoever they are, I like em both. ch ("... and you and me and Gomer and Laurel Lee Hobbs, we're gonna be there to meet it.")

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14074: Hey to Jelsik and Mi?? Elinora. "I'll put on my square wheels so things don't get rollin to fast."(Briscoe). Howie.

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14075: Hey to the porch - I'm new in town - so be kind. Going to the beach? Here in northern Minnesota we had a low of 24 degrees last week. So much for the beach - got to find my long underware.

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14076: Where I live we don't need long underware, shoot, sometimes we don't even wear underware - sometimes. The Masked Advenger

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14077: Hey Miss Romeena, did the flea market lady say which state the person was from that she traded those TAGS tapes too??? It wouldn't by any chance have been Georgia, would it?? We have many flea markets within a decent driving distance and I could go check out some of them. Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

    July 10, 1997 - Msg 14078: Hey Mary Grace, your momma didn't mince words, did she? Sounds like a very wise and level-headed lady. You're right, too! "Nothin' ventured, nothin' gained." (Calvin Coolidge said that) Either we're all pretty comfortable with each other here or we're all comin' down with Otisitis. (Love ya, RB)