The Taylors' Front Porch

Pull up a chair! Have a sit-down an' shoot the breeze with us. Later on, maybe we'll go down to the drugstore to get a sody. . . maybe see what's showin' at the pitcher house. . . . What you gonna do tonight, Barn?

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25379: Hey, ~De§~! What you doin' up so late? I thought just us vampires was awake at this time'a night...

It's good to see you, tho.

*Rafe Hollister
"That boy weighs about a hundred pounds, and I’d swear fifty of it’s proud." (Andy)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25380: Mornin to the porch.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25381: Mornin'!

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25382: Mornin' to the porch! Now please bear with me one more time! I hate that
anyone is left of the porch roll call, so here goes one last time:
AC says Hey Mister Cookie Bar
Asa Mr. Mike
A. PAW. Lawson Momma
Back Bay Mr. McBeevie
Ben Whitledge Mr. Schwump
Bobby Fleet Mrs. Brendlemight
Bobby the Beast Mrs. Lesch
Boojum Snark Nate Bracey
Briscoe (plain old) Oh Bernie
Briscoe Darling Jr. Old Man Schlummer
Burt Old Man Rimshaw
Calvin Coolidge Opie Taylor Sr.
ch Otis (plain old)
Charlene Otis Protege
CJ Hoffman Plain Claude Beamon
Clarabelle Poor Horatio
Cooter Rafe Hollister
Cousin Virgil Rev. Billy Bob
Daphne Rev. Tucker
David T. Roger Hanover
Des (I ain't learned that s thing yet)
Destry Romeena
Dooley Rusty
Ebo Sarah
Ed Sawyer Shawnee
Eleanora Poultice Sheriff Frank
Elinora Skippy
Emma Brand Thel
Emma Watson The Masked Singer
Emmett Tic
Englishter Trey
Erma Bishop Uncle Ollie
Ernest T. Virginia Lee
Flora Will Stockdale, P.L.O.
Floyd Yahoo
George Foley(Tex)
Gilley Walker
Glen Cripes
Grovely Barch
Hodie Snitch
Jack Egbert
Jennie Boone
Jim says Hey
J. Lydia
John Lithgow
John Masters
Johnny Paul
Luke Comstock
Man in a Hurry
Mary Alice
Mary Grace
Mary Hart
Mayberry Band Member
Mayor Pike
Merle Dean
Milton P. Oliver
Miss Crump
Miss Ellen Brown
Miss Ellie
Miss Peg
Miss Sue
Thanks to all for pointin' out the ones I missed. I think I counted
a total of 121 names. Hooo Weeee! Hey Briscoe, after all this
typin', I could sure use a little "Dan Tucker" to relax with.
Maybe you and the boys could pick a little and Opie Taylor can
sing the words! I'm a ready when you are!
Barney: "Let's go Ange, the girls are waitin'"
Andy: "OK, Tiger"
Randy says Hey (darn it all, I left my own name off the list agin'!)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25383: We could rent a floor polisher, it would only cost .50

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25384: G'mornin' all. Hey MAN IN A HURRY, Thank ya'. I a had a company an' a then I a took th' truck in fer it's a 1.5 Million mile tune up. (thanks Goober) Made a fresh batch of a juice. Hehehehe. Prit'ner blew up th' cabin when I dropped th' jug on th' floor! All th' force a went a strait up an' a blew th' roof off th' cabin. I have my jugs ta' a keep me a warm at a nite. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25385: Hey Randy says Hey, I'll be a glad ta' my friend. "Dan Tucker." Here we go. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25386: Does anyone else get a server error on the Thought for the Day or is it just me? Uncle Ollie "There's my card, there's my card. DERN YOU OTIS."

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25387: NOW TBS is showing TAGS's LAST b&w season in BACKWARDS order? Anyone know why? When are they gonna' go back to showin' 'em the right way? I'm mad as Ernest T. and I'm ready to fight! Speaking of E.T. (the man, not the show) taped the Harvey Bullock-scripted "Malcolm at The Crossroads" color ep this morning and it was darn good--the BEST color ep that I can remember, what with E.T., Malcolm, Goob, and numerous doses of Floyd all throughout the episode! Plus it actually had some ENERGY--something that is lacking throughout the last three years! They should have kept E.T. in the show 2 or 3 times a year--anyone know why they didn't?
Plain (I got lots O' questions today) Claude

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25388: Hi to the porch! "Hey" to the Kerosene Kid!" I see your bio in the Wbmutbb digest! Randy says Hey, how ya doing today? I see how hard you've been working on this list, wow, it's really something, isn't it? I do know of a Mr. Dave that reads and sometimes does post. "Hey" to Mr. Dave! I saw Clara Johnson on The Dick Van Dyke Show last night. Her with a little dog. I love seeing the Mayberry people where I don't expect them. Have a great one today, from ---Hazel

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25389: Oops! Looks like half of my list got left off! Here's the rest:
Mister Cookie Bar
Mr. McBeevie
Mr. Schwump
Mrs. Brendlemight
Mrs. Lesch
Nate Bracey
Oh Bernie
Old Man Schlummer
Old Man Rimshaw
Opie Taylor Sr.
Otis (plain old)
Otis' Protege
Plain Claude Beamon
Poor Horatio
Rafe Hollister
Rev. Billy Bob
Rev. Tucker
Roger Hanover
Sheriff Frank
The Masked Singer
Uncle Ollie
Virginia Lee
Will Stockdale, P.L.O.
"Gomer get down there with those spiders and start hammerin'!!!" -B.Fife
Randy says Hey

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25390: Hey to the Porch!!!!!! Gee I missed a lot and don't quite have time to catch up jes yet. Been without power for three days and phone for a week! Can't believe it. I missed you guys. "I liked you first." hehe I saw something funny the other day. I was watchin previews for HAPPY DAYS......... Has Ron Howard standin beside a jukebox and in big letters writ right out on that box......Guess what? NIP-IT. Yep has nip-it on the jukebox. I thought that was a scream! Hope everyone is doin fine. I'll be back to catch up iffin we don't lose the power and phone agin...... Another big storm supposed to hit any time now.
.............Miss Peg

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25391: Miss Peg, I hope you don't lose power again. I have been paying attention to the national weather reports and wondered about the porch sitters who haven't checked in. Oh, and Mrs. Lesch, it was great to see your bio today as well. I do hope that there is a local chapter that I can get with, I am expecting notice about who may have chapters in my area. This has been a great club to be part of, hasn't it? ---Hazel

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25392: Good afternoon porch. Bless your heart Miss Peg. Glad you are back with us after the storm and you are OK. I know what ya mean Hazel about seeing TAGS folks unexpectedly. I too, find it a joy. Welcome to CJ Hoffman. Glad to have ya with us. Please come by often. I made my reservations for Mayberry Days. Looking forward to that already. It sure is cold here today. I went for a walk and might near froze. Catch ya'll later. Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25393: Hey, y'all!
Boy, it's sure purty out today, between storms... Miss Peg, ya been bumpin' around th' house inna dark?! Oh, my, hon-- you still bein' easy on yer back, I hope... gee, I hope ya got a lotta soup inna house...
Thet's a whopper of a List ya got goin' there, Randy says Hey, I sure do 'ppreciate yer efferts-- I'm inspired ta make some kinda clickable index-like Table fer th' Porch Chapter Site... mebbe in conjunction with Hazel's Porchsters' Map idea...
"Welcome Home" ta Mary Alice, "this is a friendly town!"
Y'all be good, now! ~~~love, Leon

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25394: Bless yer heart, Miss Peg. All y'all take care! That stormin' goin' on on the East coast is a fright. Y'all stay safe now, y'hear?
Got me a little sinus activity; I reckon it'll pass.......

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25395: Des means 'runny nose' in Finnish. hehehehe.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25396: Hey to the Porch! Hey, Miss Hazel and MaryGrace, I agree about spottin' TAGS alumni in other roles. It's fun! Hazel, speakin' of the Dick Van Dyke Show, did you see the episode the other night that had Rob inheriting an old roll-top desk from his Great-Uncle Hezekiah? That'n featured no less than FOUR TAGS alumni: Herb Vigran (Bill Medwin, the Bookie Barber), Dan Tobin ("Gentleman" Dan Caldwell), Forrest Lewis (Cy Hudgins/Billy Jack), and Amzie Strickland (Miss Rosemary/Verlaine Campbell/Lila Sims/Myra Tucker). What a cast!

Miss Peg, I'm glad you're back with us. You was missed. Are you goin' to be okay without no power? How do you watch TAGS without no power? How can you visit the Porch without no power? What in the world will you DO without no POWER?!

~De§~, you're ailin' AGIN? Girl, what you got to do to get past this stuff? Can I let Martha brang over some of her famous chickin-doodle soup (with her surgical mask firmly in place, of course)? Lemme know...

*Rafe Hollister
BARN: “I don’t wanna take my shoes and socks of in front’a... ever’body.”
ANDY: “Go ahead, Barn. Both the girls have brothers.”

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25397: Hey to porch... No time to talk now but at 5:11 tonight I became a first time granddad. Candy cigars to everybody. Headin' back to hosp. now. (Oh yes, its a boy, "DEVIN") I'll catch up with ya'll later "nite-nite (CJ Hoffman)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25398: Congratulations, Grandad! How wonderful!

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25399: But on the bloody morning after-her-herrrr, one tin soldier rides away... No, it weren't BILLY JACK that Forrest Lewis played on TAGS! It was WILLIE JACK! HAHAHAHAHA!

I'll be okay in a minute...

*Rafe Hollister
"Is that you, Willie Jack? I've told you 'bout gettin' them brakes fixed..." (Andy)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25400: CJ, that's WONDERFUL news! Congratulations! Give our best to the fambly.

*Rafe Hollister
"Let’s let her keep it." (Barney)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25401: Uncle Ollie, I got that "Server Error" with the Thought for the Day, too! I'm gonna CALL THE MAN!

*Rafe Hollister
"I’m a peaceful man by nature. But I can get riled to action if there’s no other way." (Andy)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25402: Wasn't Mrs. Wiley once Beaver Cleaver's principal, Mrs. Rayburn?

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25403: Don't know. I never watched the Beav much. I always thought that Jerry Mathers was a poor excuse for Ronnie Howard. There's really no comparison. Just my opinion, you understand.

*Rafe Hollister
"Stainless steel, WOW!" (Barney)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25404: Hey Porchsters,
More info on the Mayberry CMN Benefit Show in Kingsport, TN
Date: June 27, 1998
Cost: General Admission: $35 - VIP seats (show, seats within the first 10 rows, admission to reception with the stars) $50.
All for The Children's Miracle Network.
Stars will be: The Dillards, Maggie Peterson, Howard Morris, Jean Carson, James Best, Elinor Donahue, Bernard Fox.
Call 423-578-6647 for more info.
Check out the venue's website:
It's BIG!!!

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25405: Hey to the porch
C.J. I know you are so thrilled! You make sure you bring Deveon around
for his first car! 25402 Yes, she was the Beavers principal and she
was the rich kids mom back on Dobie Gillis I always look for AG cast
in shows and movies. They always seemed to stick together and look
out for one another. and I found out today my name is spelled Lesh
I have the Mayberry cookbook and it was spelled Lesch in there.
Mrs. Lesh
Don't look back, Mrs. Lesh!
Butter and egg man. Ha, More like chicken coop cassanova!

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25406: I'm so thrilled! I can't believe I'm gettin a scoop!

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25407: I can't take any credit for it - My mind just works that way.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25408: Let me just run a 42J on him.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25409: Hay Rafe and everyone else on the porch tonight. Speakin' of the Beav, did
you happen to see him in the new comercials for Jenny Craig??? Boy, he sure
do look good these days.
"You're not talkin' to a jerk you know?" (Barney)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25410: Hey, Charlene! Yeah, I seen that Jenny Craig commercial. He does look good, which is I guess why they let him do the ad for 'em. I mean, if'n he was still fat like he usedta be, what would'a been the point? It's SIZE DISCRIMINATION, that's what it is! Fat people, UNITE! Let's form a revolt! Let's all be REVOLTING!

*Rafe Hollister
"I wouldn’t want to worry him. Folks like Barney ought not worry. It don’t matter so much with fat people, but Barney ought not worry." (Gomer)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25411: Boy, it sure doesn't pay to miss a day on the porch. Couldn't make it yesterday,
and today it got swept and no archive. Not that I don't appreciate the sweepin'.
Hope I didn't miss to much.
"Pipe down this ain't a ballpark!" (Barney)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25412: Anybody gonna catch A Face in the Crowd tomorrey mornin'?


February 4, 1998 - Msg 25413: I thought he was so cute as a little kid. So natural. I always thought
Ward Cleaver as a suburban Andy.
Mrs. Lesh
Don't look back Mrs. Lesh!

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25414:

Juanita :)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25415: I'm out at Ol Man Kelseys Ocean what time/channel?
Mizz Lesh

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25416:

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25417: itneverworks.itjustneverworks. J

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25418: Well I LIKE Jerry Mathers. My face don't let on.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25419: Kids? Oh we probably won"t have any kids. We already know enough
kids to play with

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25420: Yeah, Mrs. Lesh, he was cute, but he weren't no Ronnie Howard...

Charlene, the archive is out there, all right. It's just farther up the list. Here's a quick link to it for ya...

*Rafe Hollister
"Shoot, my mommer and daddy just shook hands on their deal." (Gomer)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25421: Juanita, yer heart's in the right place, even if'n yor brain's out to lunch...

*Rafe Hollister
"I'm kidding! I'm KIDDING! I didn't MEAN it, Juanita, HONEST!!!" (Rafe Hollister)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25422: Jerry Mathers was on tv before tags was, you know. Just pernting that out, now. Don't take on.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25423: You remember my sister Tillie don't you? You know what the other
kids used to call her? The Beaver!!

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25424: Good point, Msg 25422. Jerry Mathers started the cute kid trend, and Ronnie Howard perfected it. GOO-OO-OOD point!

*Rafe Hollister
"Now there’s a man out here with a gun. Get him! Come on, Blue. Gunnnn...Mannnn...GET ‘IM!" (Andy)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25425: You are the html master here on the porch *Rafe! I had to go to 'source' and look at your posts to refresh my memory on those darn thingys. ha ha that is what happens when you forget to close one! (I used to mess with font size...I just dont go there anymore!!!) WHAT A MESS! Good to see ya. Juanita

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25426: Duhh-hhh-hh! That was BARNEY's quote (above)!!!


February 4, 1998 - Msg 25427: Yes, I agree with THAT, now Rafe. Ive said
it before and I'll say it again: shirley Temple and
Ronny Howard were the cutest girl and boy actors
Just my humble opinion.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25428: are you getting blown away over there Juanita?

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25429: And your opinion is shared by me...


February 4, 1998 - Msg 25430: OK, I just cain't keep this to myself. I rang up a box of BBQ wings for Jerry Mathers. This was about three years ago here in CA by the beach. He was driving an older model of a little red sportscar. He looked good then, not what you would call "portly!" I know that he knew that I knew who he was! Just a Cailifornia thing not to say anything I guess. ---Hazel

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25431: The weather here on the NC coast is wet wet wet. Last night was just plain awful. Like hurricane season! This afternoon we had another major downpour. We are hanging in there though. Thanks for asking. (cant wait to be on Hazels map) Juanita

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25432: I wonder what causes that?

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25433: It's the boy all right. (El Niño)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25434: Although I gave "Randy says Hey" a hard time because he left me off his list twice, I think he deserves a hardy "Muy Bien Amigo" for the laborious effort required to compile such a list.
Attaboy Randy.
Mary Alice

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25435: She one'a ourn?
"More power to ya." (Briscoe)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25436: Uncle Ollie (and ever'body else), Sheriff Frank has fixed the Thought for the Day. Callin' THE MAN works ever'time! Thanks, Sheriff Frank!

*Rafe Hollister
"When it comes to potting petunias, I’m a giant." (Andy)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25437: Thank you Rafe for the shortcut to the archives. Just got caught up and now I'm back.
Be sure to include me when the FAT people UNITE!!!!!! Boy, I sure do like to eat.
"Well I ate four bowls. If that ain't a tribute to white beans I don't know what is." (Andy)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25438: Yeah, Charlene, I think you and me and a few others here will make a real REVOLTING group!

Here's a little (non-TAGS) trivia for ya: Who said, "What a REVOLTIN' development THIS is!"

*Rafe Hollister
"I haven’t felt any settling." (Barney)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25439: Thanks for the welcome Leon.
Someone posted that they believed Shirley Temple to be the cutest girl actor.
As for my vote, although Elizabeth Taylor was very beautiful when she was young, I still think Margaret O'Brien was the cutest. My brother had a crush on her.
Any takers?
Mary Alice

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25440: hey there. first time on the porch. is it a prerequisite to have a name of one of the TAGS players before I can join in? Seems like most of the postings were by someone with a name I recognize.
by the way, Any one else enjoy Bernard Fox' character on "Titanic". Even my wife, who is not as big a TAGS fan as I am, yelled out "Malcohm!" in the theater,

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25441: Rafe Hollister, wasn't that quote a popular saying of William Bendix in "The Life Of Riley"?
Mary Alice

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25442: Mary Alice, YOU ARE RIGHT! That was one'a Jackie Gleasons many tag lines from that show and his others. What a comedic treasure he was! I'm not familiar with Margaret O'Brien, but if YOU like her, she's okay in my book.

Hey to the newcomer! Welcome to the Porch! Yes, it's customary to adopt a handle that's related to the show, so take your pick. Do you need any help pickin' out a name?

*Rafe Hollister
"One thing about those Gypsy violinists: They’re moody." (Barney)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25443: Rafe, I'm not quite sure how to take REVOLTIN'. Your not sayin' fat people is REVOLTIN' are ya???
Really, I'm just kiddin'. But you know how some people are. Just might get a moulage started.
"You never know when another beast of prey might come down out of the forest." (Barn)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25444: Has everyone done gone beddie bye???

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25445: Rafe Hollister, I'm a little confused by your answer. I know that William Bendix first starred as Chester A. Riley in "The Life Of Riley" back in radio. Then when the show moved to television, Bendix wasn't available, so they hired Jackie Gleason to play Riley. But the show was cancelled after one year. Then it was resurrected a few years later when Bendix was available to play Riley. But I only remember Bendix saying that line. Are you sure Jackie Gleason used that same line?
I used to watch that show when one of the religious cable stations used to run it about ten years ago.
Mary Alice

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25446: Charlene, I'm still here, but not for long. Got to get up before 5am tomorrow. Good night.
Wow, I can't believe how much I've posted tonight. Guess I had too much free time tonight.
Mary Alice

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25447: I'm just funnin' too, Charlene. I hope no moulage starts, neither, 'cause you know how much I hate moulages! I just like the words REVOLT and REVOLTIN'. They're fun to say. Try it! REVOLT REVOLT REVOLT REVOLTING REVOLTING REVOLTING MEEE THEY MEEE THEY MEEE THEY!


February 4, 1998 - Msg 25448: Mary Alice, I'm just the opposite of you. I've only seen Jackie Gleason in the role of Chester Riley! Isn't that strange? I know that Jackie Gleason said that line, because I can picture his head movements and eyes buggin' out as he's sayin' it. I can't place William Bendix. Sorry for the corn-fusion.

*Rafe Hollister
"And another thing, you don’t let the clutch out all the way!" (Goober)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25449: Rafe, I sent you an e-mail, did you get it yet. I'm waiting up to here about that first question I ask ya!
I hope everyone is having a good evening. Raining here in ol'VA I'm a little tired of rain, how about some sunshine.
Take care all!

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25450: Rafe, you musta dipped inta the three week old stuff tonite. You's craking me up! ROFL...... I won't say much 'cause I have a long quote that got me durin the marathon!
Ange: "Now Goober, I'm gonna get outta here 'cause if I don't I'm liable to start hollerin and when I get done hollerin, I'm liable to take one of these guns out of this rack and shoot you. You understand that?"
Goober: YO!
hahahahahahaha I love that'n...........Miss Peg

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25451: Hogette! We musta posted 'bout the same time. HI! Hope you're recovery is comin along fine...........Miss Peg

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25452: Hoggette, I got your mail, and I done sent you one back. Is Talbot there yet? I licked that stamp awful good, so make shore it don't stick to his fangers!

Miss Peg, I appreciate the compliment. And your Andy/Goober exchange is HILARIOUS! I wonder how many times Andy "threatened" to hurt someone like that? I can think of a few instances. Hmmm...

*Rafe Hollister
"When this is over I’m gonna kill you." (Andy)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25453: Hey Porch! 'lot goin on tonight. Been droppen in for a couple of weeks
now. Really enjoy it. Msg 25450: That's one of my favorite. Jeff

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25454: Jeff, good ta see ya! And WELCOME!

*Rafe Hollister
"That’ll lay on your chest!" (Andy)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25455: "...and in a sorta hopin' you'll understand kinda way yes, I'm sick of YOU too."
even when Andy got mad he did it with dignity.
welcome to the newcomer. Pick a name. (almost) any name.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25456: Once more, an absence of just a couple of days leaves me having missed some newcomers. Greetings to "all of y'all."
Gomer and Mrs. Gomer have come into the 20th century; we now have internet access at home! Take a wild guess as to the first spot to get bookmarked!
On the child actors/actresses thing, when I was a kid I thought Jodie Foster (who's roughly my age) was awfully cute. Remember the Kung Fu episode where her conscience gets the best of her at the last minute?
I'm outta here for now. Best of luck to you and yours.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25457:
I hate my ISP.
I want the world to know.
Thank you.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25458: Gomer!
What's your hurry?
"she'll take 8!"

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25459: Lets not forget about Drew Barrymore. Cuter then than now.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25460: Maybe he'll fall down and break his mouth.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25461: RE: JODIE FOSTER - How about the Partridge Family episode that she
kissed Danny.
Jeff (Pruit)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25462: Miss Peg, I'm doing much better, how about you? Did you get all that nasty rain like we did or did you get the beautiful white stuff? I hope you are getting around much better, is everything back to normal? I bet you have had some power outages while you've been at home. Have ya? We will have to e-mail each other a lot while we are both at home recuperating.
Rafe, Bud I got your e-mail and I have done e-mailed our friend, I'm sure I'm not as eliquintly (I can't spell either) as you, but I tried. Its good to see some new faces on the Porch, there is always room for new friends on the Porch. Well we got school in the morning so I better hit the hay, cause my kiddo needs to get up on time in the morning. Talk to ya later Rafe! Love to All, Hoggette

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25463: Who fall down?? Am I missing something???

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25464: Hey to the Porch...Hoggette and Rafe...I just sent the both of ya an inspirational email...its my story, hope it wasnt too pushy...anyway, welcome to the newcomer without a name...hey, thats a without a name...hmmm....maybe not...welcome home, pick just any old name and join us in our corner of the are at home here on the porch, and dont you forget it!..
Hey to everybody...gotta run, big shipment of yeller socks (the pourus ones) are a comin in...Briscoe, can ye scratch us off one??
Hope I wasnt too pushy!


Floyd--"Everybody complains about the weather but
nobody does anything about it.
You know who said that? ...... Calvin Coolidge"

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25465: sometimes I Like to see a bat.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25466: Ohhhhh, so Jodie Foster once had to kiss Danny Bonaduce. Well that certainly explains a lot.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25467: Thanks, Burt I got your mail, it did my heart good! I wrote you back, I know its late so if you read it tomorrow thats o.k. Rafe, let me know about them there spring break plans O.K. Well, I'm really going to bed now. Goodnight! Hoggette

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25468: Rafe, about those Dick Van Dyke people (please bear with me, I am terrible with names) there is an episode where they want a former radio performer to be on the Allan Brady Show. He recites poems and has been out of show biz for years. He can't perform unless he is GASSED and has been on the wagon for years. OK, that person sounds SO MUCH like Leonard Blush! Could it have been him? Or was Leonard the voice of Earnest T.? ---Hazel

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25469:

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25470: No, but Howard Morris was the voice of Leonard Blush!
"Leonard Blush, Leonard Blush! Is that all you ever think about?"

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25471: It was Earnest Ernest. Ernest wasn't as earnest as Gomer, but he was still earnest.

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25472: I know who you're talkin' about, Hazel, but your second thought was right. Howard Morris (Ernest T. Bass) did the voice of Leonard Blush. That actor you spoke of was really good, though. I've seen him somewheres elste (I cain't think WHERE just now), but I cain't remember his name. He was funny!

Burt and Hoggette, Talbot come by with your mail, and I shorely was glad to get it! You all beat ever'thang, you know that?

*Rafe Hollister
"...And without a intimate dinner, how're we ever gonna get to Cole Porter? You see, Andy, it just unravels the whole evening..." (Barney)

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25473: (Hazel is smacked in the forehead by the palm of her hand) oops!

February 4, 1998 - Msg 25474: It was gonna bug me till I found out, Hazel, so I went to the IMDb to look him up. The feller what played Edwin Carp in The Dick Van Dyke Show episode we was talkin' about is named Richard Haydn. I remember seein' him in The Sound of Music, in the part of Max Detweiler (the opportunist who arranged for the Von Trap Family to sing at the festival). I would'a lost sleep for SHORE if'n I hadn't looked around and come up with the answer!

*Rafe Hollister
"I was just picturin’ you and your mother settin’ around the house with your hats pulled down over your ears." (Andy)

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25475: Oh what a beeeeeautiful mornin~!

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25476: Oh, what a beautiful da-a-a-a-ay!

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25477: I've got a beeeeeautiful feeeeelin'~!

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25478: Gonna watch Andy todaaaaaay.... hehe

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25479: Real nice sing-along so early in the mornin', friends. REAL nice!

Well, it's time onced agin to say good-bye for the week to my favorite people I never met! You all have a fine week-end, and I'll be seein' you agin soon, Lord willin'.

*Rafe Hollister
"Well, I’m gonna take the bongo drum, things are liable to be kinda dull..." (Barney)

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25480: Hey to the porch! Mary Alice I can't tell ya how sorry a fella can be
for leavin' ya off the list of porchsters! Thank ya for the kind
"BALMY AND LIGHT....BALMY and light....balmy and light" - B. Fife
Randy says Hey

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25481: Cool quote, Randy! LOL!

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25482: Hey, y'all!
Makin' ol' Judd some cinnamon rolls fer breakfast, listenin' ta Old Time Radio, an' readin' th' Porch... jes' can't be beat, I'm here ta tell you!
Miss Mary Alice~~I got two words fer ya-- Natalie Wood. Oh, an' I hear Wm. Bendix doin' th' "Revoltin' " line alla time on this, here OTR station...
Hey ta Jeff.. you been here before? Well, Welcome Home! You, too, #25440-- I 'member a feller signin' Man With No Name fer a while some time back... or do I?
An' a BIG Welcome Home ta our newest Porchster... certainly our youngest, Davin. Congratulations an' **prayers** ta th' parents an' fam'ly!
~~~love, Leon

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25483: an,
thanks fer th' cool sweep, Sheriff Frank! **hug** ~~Leon

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25484: Good morning. My sinuses are better but I have pulled a muscle in my back, which makes it impossible to do much of anything. Earlier I couldn't walk and could hardly breathe. After a LOT of ibuprofen, I got over here to my chair, and here I am. I might sleep here. Either pray for me or just shoot me. I don't have much of a preference right now.
My in-laws are on the coast of Delaware and we can't get through to them on the phone - "all circuits are busy".... anyone heard anything? I talked to my mother-in-law last night and she said that as long as the water doesn't break over the (barrier) islands they're fine, but they had white caps in their yard (they're on the water). She said that high tide was at around 4:30am, though, and we haven't talked to her since. I'm sure they're okay, but still........
Woe be us.

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25485: G'mornin', everybody! Rafe and Mary Alice, about that "revolting development" line, I thought The Great Gildersleeve said that. Either him or Calvin Coolidge. However, if ~~Leon says it was Riley, then it was Riley, 'cause I know he keeps up with those things on his special link-up to the past. (I always wanted one of those.)
De§, girlfriend, I need your email address. You can send it to me thru my little house in the 'hood if you'd prefer not to post it. I've got something just too hilarious that my daughter sent to me, and I thought of you and your kids immediately when I read it. You'll be ROFLOL for sure! Would love to post it, but it's too long.
Folks, kindness still lives. One of our local stations runs TAGS at 9:30 a.m. and at 2:30 a.m., and occasionally on Saturdays at 4:30 a.m. I'm only missing #79, "One Punch Opie", to have all of the first 160 eps, so I called KDAF to see when they might be running it. The lady was so extry nice! She said they run them in order, except she has an empty time slot on March 6 at 4:30 a.m., and will run that episode then, just as a favor to me! Now, ain't she kind? Ain't she kind!
Have a lovely day (rainy here) and be sweet to each other. Act like somebody now, hear?--Romeena

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25486: De§, you snuck up on me. I didn't see you there in that chair. Sure hope it don't rain here on the porch, with you stuck in that chair, you're gonna get wet. Guess we can throw a tarp over you if'n it gets too bad. Girl, when are you gonna get all well? If you didn't have back luck, you'd have no luck aTALL!
Rafe, I forgot to answer your question. I ordered the Mayberry Trivia Game from somebody that posted it in the Digest (not Reader's Digest, our Digest). Been so long now I can't remember the name, but it's probably still there in the back copies. I'll bet that nice Mr. Newsome would know about it.--Romeena

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25487: Sorry, make that "bad luck". Kinda appropriate, though, don'tcha think?--Romeena

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25488: Mornin' honey. Mornin' dear. It snowed just a bit here this mornin'. Pretty... Good to see ya Hoggette. Hope you are feeling well and recovering from your ordeal just fine. Congratulations CJ Hoffman-"Grandad! Grandad! Grandad!" (Goober in Return to Mayberry)(Spoken to Andy on the birth of his first grandson). De§, hope ya feel better soon and yer in-laws are OK and everthang. Hey to everybody else. Hope ya'll have a Mayberry kind of day. Nice, real nice MaryGrace.

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25489: hey, they're playin' a 1945 Sherlock Holmes, now.. just started... ~~LL

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25490: G'mornin' all. Hey ~Des~, Get better soon hon! Welcome ta' all th' newcomers. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25491: Gee, Miss Romeena, if'n it's somethin' ta share, ya kin post it over to th' "Porch Steps" BB at th' Chapter Site... could stand th' traffic... ~~LL

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25492: ~~Leon, darlin', I'd love to post it, but it's reeeaaaal long, nothin' TAGS in it, and it would be so much easier to just forward it as an email. Also, I don't know who wrote it, and I guess it's okay to email stuff like that, but is it legal to post it, without givin' credit to the author? I don't know no more than a junebug about stuff like that.--Romeena

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25493: Thank you, guys. It's eased up a teeny bit. Enough to where I can at least get up and toddle around the house (v-e-r-y carefully). Seriously, Romeena, I'm disgustingly healthy compared to all my friends. Really! My sinuses act up when it rains, and I did get tonsillitis that time and the food poisoning thing, and then that flu thing and... uh...... well....
Well, what it is, I think, is the kids are in their first year of school and they're brangin' home microscopic critters that the family just ain't got no immunities to. Reckon? The back thang's from moving a heavy object last night. Okay, so just might be onto something......... So what of it? A lotta people get sick at lunch!
Thank you, Junior. You're a good friend.
I've been watching The Weather Channel all morning and haven't seen anything about any homes floating away or injuries, so I 'spect they're okay. Maybe they're just out diskin' the fields or somethin'.

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25494: Gee Des you don't sound to good, better take care of or you may go down the tube.

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25495: Please don't tell me I've yet again missed the California ep. I fear that I have. I was under the weather (!) yesterday and missed it.
"Kirk Douglas! WOO! Dean Martin!!! WOO - WOO!!!!!!"

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25496: Shame on Father Mulcahy! Bad chaplain - bad, bad chaplain!

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25497: Hey! We got a sweep and the porch is loading good. Now, let's all post a bunch of images and junk and slow it back down! Whaddya say?

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25498: literature, if you post something that isnt yours to a journal or composition, thats plajurizing...but on here, just put "author anonymous and you will be fine...if ya don't know who wrote it, ya can't give em credit now can ya?
Hope I wasnt to pushy..


February 5, 1998 - Msg 25499: Des, don't feel so bad about not feeling well. I have been medicated for years because of what I thought was allergies. I found out I can't tolerate "chemical odors" and smoke. I sneeze, have a runny nose, headaches etc. I travel in a car over the weekend with a perfume wearer and was sick the whole time. I use medication but it's best to avoid the problem. I have a problem with the woman who shares my office space, she has an unindentify odor!! She is a large woman, who eats all day and the odor increases as the day goes on. I know she can't get into a bathtub, she told me. I daydream about sending her in a car wash! I'm miserable! She also curses all day, proclaiming the "f" word is her favorite! Plus using God's name in vain. Our boss is spineless, don't suggest him!....anyone have a suggestion on what I can do, or say to her.
Thanks porch friends!-Thel

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25500: Hey to everybody! Haven't been on in a while. For some reason, they want me to WORK at my job. Can you believe the nerve? Welcome to all the newcomers. Saw my favorite Warren (yes, the dreaded Warren) episode the other night. The one on ESP. I love that one (even though I'm about the only one who does). Hope you feel better Des. I've been having my own spells the last couple of weeks myself. Having an MRI tomorrow for that darn noise in my ear/head (pulsatile tinnitus). I'd appreciate your prayers and good thoughts (that there's nothing in my head - although, I CAN ALREADY ATTEST TO THAT!).
"Those are your true scitzophreniacs." (Barn)
"You are so-o-o-o right." (Barn)
"Never mind that, am I gonna pull through?" (Barn)

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25501: Hi Thel, about your workplace situation, talking privately to the woman is not easy. I sure do feel for you on this one, you probably spend as much if not more time with her than the people you care about. What I wanted to tell you is that your company may have an employee handbook or something similar. Hygeine should be part of the dress code and there should also be a code of conduct that would address her language. You may also want to check for a human resources person that you could speak to. It's a tough one, do you suffer in silence, do you risk an uncomfortable discussion, or do you pull out the big guns? Good luck, from Hazel

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25502: Hi Mary Grace, I am feeling a whole lot better. It has been a slow recovery and I go back to the Dr. tomorrow and I guess he tell me if I go back to work or not. How have you been doing? Did you get lots of snow up your way? I wished we would have had snow we just had lots and lots of rain. I am a little tired of the rain, but I know we are suppose to be thankful for all things, I guess we could be having a drought. I would rather have the rain I guess if those were the choices. So you have made your reservation for Mayberry Days? We haven't yet, but its in the works, can't wait! It was the most relaxing weekend we have had in a long time. The people there are soooo nice. E-mail me Mary Grace so we can chat more about that weekend.
I hope everyone is having a good day, one more day and then the weekend YAHOOOOOOOO!!! Take care all, Hoggette

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25503: Hey ~Des~, Yer welcome hon. I'll play a: "One Particular Harbour" fer ya' hon. Play it a purty now a boys fer a little ~Des~. Here we go. Briscoe(music is th' best medicine)Darling Jr. P.S. Hey ta' Miss Peg

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25504: Good ta' see ya' Hoggette an' glad yer a feelin' a better. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25505: Thel that's a tuff'n. Some people have "natural" problems that they jes can't do anything about. I guess a gas mask is out of the question? Jes kiddin, sorry. Them allergies can give ya fits tho and ain't no fun aTALL. Good luck to ya. What y'all think? I really hate to shoot Des. I really like her, so what's say we jes say a prayer?
"Just listen to Big Maude. She'll know what to do"
"There's nobody in here!!!!!!" ...............Miss Peg

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25506: Hazel & Miss Peg, Thanks for your concern. I work in the Employee Relations Department! The boss was newly appointed last May, he lost his position because of poor management! This position to head the department was open and they gave it to him. The director is a woman and she likes to appoint men to upper positions. This co-worker was to be placed somewhere else but bullied her way here. She's about 20 years old than our boss and has worked with him for 15 years. She controls him. Degrades him verbally and he is always a gentleman to her. I believe her way of speaking is a form of control. I feel humiliated working here. The porch is a nice place to visit. I usually can only read, afterall, I am at work! I decided to sit in silence. She may quit of there is no audience. I've never felt this sorry for anyone, what mays a someone so mean. Thanks all for the thoughts.-Thel

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25507: 1, a guy comes to town. B, he has no job. And 3, he moves in with
Mrs. Brendlemight! - B.Fife (definitely gassed)
Randy says Hey

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25508: Thel, there's safety in numbers. I suggest you get with some co-workers and go to the boss (spineless or not, that's what he's there for). If he thinks he's risking losing a handful of good employees, he might suddenly acquire a spine! This is a sticky situation: A) she smells, you know she's too big for a bathtub because she told you (I can't even envision someone too large for a shower, however; someone who can get up and into a car and to work everyday!), 2) also, her language is way outta line for the workplace. Have you tried asking her to please tone it down or are you afraid she'll sit on ya? You have some legitimate complaints and I hope you pursue them. If it comes down to it, there are petitions, the labor board....... nasty stuff, especially if she's the type to let go with a buncha "fat-discrimination" charges. sheesh...... what people have to put up with. Let us know what happened, girl! Thanks, also for your concern. The back's slowly unkinkin', tho! :-))
ch, have you contacted the tinnitis support group? 1-800-634-8978. They not only serve to support one another, but will be as knowledgeable about late-breaking developments as anyone. You poor thang... I've jes' had my ears ring after concerts and such, and wondered many times how folks stand it full-time.
Thank you for all your well-wishes; you guys are truly the cat's!!!

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25509: Hey, 466, you had me LOL on that one. Sorry to hear that De§ is feelin' poorly. Hope the pain will ease. Best of luck to you and yours.

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25510: Thanks, gomer. :-)

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25511: Des, this woman is in poor health because of her size. She does not move from her desk, she can't walk to the cafeteria because her back hurts. She gets a special close parking space. Missing a whole week at a time. We all have to use a time clock except her, she writes her time in. I've been quiet all day and it's bugging her but she's quiet also. I think I will become a hermit in the office. I went home so "beaten up" yesterday. I'm considering earplugs, she so so nasty that by not giving her an audience seems to work! And she doesn't have any thing negative to say about me because I don't say anything. She's good at trashing out people. Went to "The Mayberry Cafe", sat. the place was packed. Disappointed in the videos, same episodes on three of them, just different graphics on the cover. I love, the hollywood episodes of "I Love Lucy" esp. the one with William Holden. I brought the series. It's a shame TAGS aren't in big packs like the ones for Lucy, Mary Tyler Moore etc...-Thel

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25512: Good afternoon tothe porch- It's sprinkeling here, but tonight we're
supposed to get 6 - 7 inches of rain. Glad I live in the mountains so
it runs downhill, it those folks in the valley I'm worried about.
Thel, do you have any kind of a union, if not I agree with saftey in
numbers. They just notified this area of hurricane force winds tonight
so I may loose power.
Don't look back Mrs. Lesh

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25513: It might not work, I don't have a willow chip in my pocket.

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25514: Briscoe Darling Jr. Thanks, its people like you and my other Porch buds who make recovering a lot easier. Hey are you going to Mayberry Days Briscoe? I'm curious to know who will be making the trek this year. Well it is still raining here in Rke. Va. we've had 10 inches of rain in the past 2 and half weeks. I'm getting tired of this stuff, anybody else needs some rain, I'll be glad to send it your way. Hope everyone had a good day at work. It sounds like some of yall are having some trouble at work, I'm glad I don't have to work with somebody like the one yall describe. Talk to ya later. Love to All, Hoggette

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25515: gee, thel...
y'ever see th' Simpsons episode where Homer gets fat so he kin telecommute? Mebbe she needs to be accommodated right into a keyboard in front of her recliner, a few steps away from her own stinky bathroom at home... Kinda wierd that this problem exists at all, much less to this degree, in the very Department that's supposed to oversee such things. How does this affect the overall function of the Company, with the Relations Department not relating well an' all... got a line to the Board? This seems like th' kind of problem that could be costing the Company in Effectiveness, an' somebody oughta be interested in that bottom line aspect.
~~~love, Leon

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25516: C J here. I wanted to thank all for the welcome to the porch. I was going to go back and take some names of some kind people but, I just found out what you-all mean by sweepin' the porch. You really mean SWEEP THE PORCH. (MEEETHEYMEEETHEYMEEETHEYHIANG) Rafe now thats funny, I bout fell out of my chair. I thought I knew a few good TAGS lines, you guys make me feel like an amateur. I really enjoy listening , you all are great. ----"Andy, onvicts-Ca are ere-Ha" (Barn) CJ Hoffman

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25517: fifteen years?!

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25518: Hey, CJ~~
Hit th' Archives button down there... the list goes by th' first date on that particular page. ~~LL

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25519: Gotcha, Thel. I'm not surprised to learn that her health problems are related to her weight, and truth be known, I bet her attitude is, too. What I meant was that nowadays people don't just lodge discrimination complaints based on the health aspects of obesity, but merely the appearance component itself! Y'gotta watch that.....
Dern shame she gets away with so much. Sounds like you got her number now, though. Someone whose ego needs feeding usually doesn't give a lotta thought to the means by which they get their attention. Keep tunin' her out. Maybe it'll turn out to be the ideal way to deal with her without confrontation.
Hope y'all are well. The back's slowly getting better. Just hadda hailstorm you wouldn't believe! So much white stuff on the ground I got video of it!!

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25520: Thanks, this is all still new to me (cj)

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25521: Evenin', all, and welcome to cj. Don't you worry, hon, about bein' new here. Everybody here was new once, so we know how you feel. You're welcome as can be, these are the nicest folks you'll find anywhere. 'Course, this is Mayberry, so you'd naturally expect that.
Rafe, guess what?? Count Istvan Telecki lives!! Remember this mornin' when I was wondering what happened to the game I ordered? Well, this afternoon I found it sittin' on my front porch! Now some might say the postman brought it, but I wonder.......
The return address given is: Fun 'n Games, 4028 Papermill Road, Suite 14, Knoxville, TN 37909. Phone 1-888-646-6236.
The game is very nice, first class. There are 1,000 trivia questions, which I solemnly promise (for real) that I won't look at ahead of time. My family already says they won't play with me because they're afraid I'll beat 'em. All except one son, who is a big fan also. Really looks like fun.--Romeena

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25522: Hey to the porch!!!
I'm still Sarah-less. Wish I Knew what the problem was! Liked the porch roster!
Howdy to the newcomers.
(Mister Cookie Bar)

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25523: You people are living in another world!

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25524: De§-Your advice is so good. Have you ever thought of an advice column in the paper? Can we help? I'll bet you were some sort of counselor at one time of your life. Another thought-wouldn't it be fun to see what some of you look like. Have you ever described yourselves to each other? Or would that take some of the mystery and fun out of this. MAN IN A HURRY

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25525: Thel, you've got yourself a real problem, and there are no easy answers. I can tell you this, I work with a woman who would have to be as large as your co-worker, because if she was any larger she couldn't fit in our chairs, and they are plenty roomy. She always smells nice, she IS nice, lovely cooperative attitude, and expects no special treatment. In fact, she'll go out of her way to help someone else. (I think she's from Mayberry.) Point is, it's not your co-worker's obesity that's causing the problem. Maybe it's the other way around - she's negative and unhappy, so she eats to feel better. Maybe she's just a hateful person, they get fat too, you know.
As a nurse at a hospital that's very big on customer relations (always right, etc.) that's a sore point with me. Why do we have to always overlook someone's bad behavior just because they have a "problem"? Some people are just nasty, and were that way long before their illness, obesity, whatever. Sometimes I think the biggest favor we can do them is a reality check, but just try it and see how fast you'll be out at the pickle factory lookin' for a job. (If the problem is a customer, that is.)
I guess your best bet is to keep bein' your sweet little ol' self, tune her out, sit a room deodorizer on your desk, and wait for her to go away. As for her language, you can and should tell her that you find her language offensive and request that she cease and desist. Say it with a smile, make a joke if you can (virgin ears, etc.) If she doesn't, you have a legitimate complaint, and if your boss is too spineless to act on it, go over his head. We recently had a similar case, and the offender was politely asked by management to behave appropriately, and things have improved. You have just as many rights as she has, but "nice" people usually just grin and bear it, and it doesn't have to be that way.
As for her hygiene, a hand-held unit on her shower would work wonders. Sorry if that's too much information for someone, but it's true. I've cleaned up some patients who were .. well, let's don't go there. Keep your chin up, kiddo, it will all work out.--Romeena
"You know what, Barn? When that feller's time comes, he ain't gonna go like everybody else. He's just gonna "nasty" away!" (Andy)

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25526: Just stopped off, and noticed none

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25527: Wow, that one got long! Sorry, folks, but I just feel so sorry for Thel. What a miserable situation to be in every day.--Romeena

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25528: If you wear a ruby ring and ride a white horse, the horse,ll go mad.
Where'd you hear that?

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25529: If you wear a ruby ring and ride a white horse, the horse,ll go mad.
Where'd you hear that?

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25530: Romeena, don't you apologize -- you're right on as usual. Hope everybody is having a great Mayberry evening!

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25531: Romeena is one wise Mayberrian.

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25532: hI TO THE PORCH The weather must be affecting the computer, it's
taking 5 - 10 min to come on to the porch and I'm not able to send
anything out Lets see if we get this, CJ how is that new boy?
Don't forget you got to get out there and get a bride for him, right
Briscoe? Any time theres a new issuance to the family tree.
And don't forget I'm holding a sweet 58 custom sedan been in a garage
on blocks since 1959
Mizz Lesh

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25533: hey there randy says hey,
in reguards to the roll call - there was a
"J"im says hey
and then there was the favorite
"j"im says hey (note the lower case of the unix head)
jim says hey

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25534: Hey to the Porch...just stopped by to see what was happening with all my don't just listen in, now, you gotta join in too...don't be shy around us, we's family!...Des, been lookin fer ya in mIRC, caint find ya or Hazel anywheres...ya'll change the meetin place on me? Ya'll need to tell a body when ya do that...Hey to everybody!
Hope I wasnt too pushy!


"...skinny widow...$4000...3-year-old bakery truck WITH the original paint..." --Uncle Ollie

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25535:
Friends may come,
And Friends may go,
And Friends may peter out...
But, We'll be friends,
Through Thick or Thin,
Peter out, or Peter in!
Leonard Blush

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25536: i saw the bed jacket episode a while back and thought it was
kinda good for a change. aunt bee works so hard that it was
good that she got something that was a bit special.
jim says hey

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25537: Romeena, you crack me up - LOL! "..... some might say the postman brought it, but I wonder....." hehehe!
You're right on about that woman Thel hasta work with. I contend that the woman's in the grasp of the ol' Catch 22 (Ol' Sig had this one pegged years ago), in that she might've just come into this world obnoxious, has experienced repeated rejection, and eats more, gets madder, eats more...... Y'oughtta lemme take her out back and give her a coupla karate chops! (She'd kill me.)
Seriously, it's bad when you're having to put up with such nonsense, and even worse when the one person who could help, won't. Hang in there, Thel.
P.S. Hey to jim says hey, gomer, Burt, Mizz Lesh, cj, MAN IN A HURRY, MCB and whomever else is around at this hour.

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25538: Mistah Blush! Merciful heavens...................

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25539: Thel - One more thing your need to do...DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! Not only
what she says/does but the date and time. If/when you go to your
supervisor document what he said he would do. Can you request a move
to a desk out of nose and ear shot? Just a thought.

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25540: "They're doin' it! They're doin' it! Way to go, Andy!!"

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25541: Jeff's right, Thel. Document EVERYTHING.

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25542: Thel, NIP IT! NIP IT IN THE BUD!

February 5, 1998 - Msg 25543: I'll bet if old Barn were around, he'd tell Thel that documentin' is nearly as critical as diversifyin'.
Howdy backatcha, De§.
G'night, all!

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25544: Sounds like this lady'd require some serious nippin'! But, really, if she was an employee anywhere else in th' company, your department would be decidin' whether to fix or fire th' offending employee. Whatever is the root of her size and/or psyche is beside the point, which is on-the-job behavior and performance. The rest of that's between her an' th' company shrink or her own heart, to be such a person. Is this like a Mimi, on th' Drew Carey Show, except without the fun?
If yer stuck coexisting with Miss Thing, what's her soft spot? Get her hooked on your homemade pickles, or somethin' that'll have a mellowing (and possibly detoxifyin') effect on her... I once had a boss get off my back for a Hostess cupcake every day... didn't make him smell no better, though.
Gotta go! Gunsmoke's on! Hazel, you up? KNX 1070 AM.
There's Mayor C-H-E-S-T-E-R, now... HeeYah! Gitup!!
~~~Cowboy Leon

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25545:
Chester Wesley Proudfoot
Betcha didn't know that, huh?

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25546: G'mornin' all. Hey Mrs. Lesh, I'm a always a lookin' fer a bride. (Ms. Bee) Hey Hoggette, I won't be going to Mayberry Days, I'll just have to listen to all the fine porchers(like you)stories of the weekend. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25547: Thanks all for your advice. I will try not to bog you down with this situation. Once it warms up here the window will be up all of the time. I have done many kind things for her which I know she would never do for me. I have decided that the silent treatment is doing wonders. I think I'm try to find a statue of the three monkey....see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Maybe I can add a fourth monkey holding his nose! The truth be know this is a very evil place to work. State job, terrible abuse of taxpayers money. The head person is deceptive. I've earned a lot of vacation time, sick leave and I have good insurance. Plus my daughter can get 50% off of tuition to attend a state university when her time comes. I will continue to be who I am, honest, hard working and at least I will still respect myself. Daily doses of TAGS, reading good books and learning from life, enjoying the ups and surviving the downs, will keep me positive. Thanks for keeping this place warm and intertaining and I appreciate you all.-Thel

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25548: "Maybe you'll talk if I shine this light in your eyes"

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25549: I think #25542 has the right idea. I've looked over several books on psychology and human behavior and all of them are in favor of "Bud Nippin' ". (Barney you beat everything, you know that!!!") andy --- cj hoffman

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25550: Oh I forgot - A friend was telling me about a b&w episode where Barney was dressed in a clown suite and entertaining some children. I don't remember that one. Does he know what he's talking about? Can someone help me? (grand babies fine going home today) cj

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25551: Briscoe Darling Jr., sorry to here that you won't be attending Mayberry Days. I will be glad to tell of the adventures that happen there. We had great fun last year. You'll have to try and make it sometime, it is worth it, and the friends you meet are what makes it the most special. It's nice to talk to people on the Porch, but when you get to meet them it is soooo exciting, to finally put a face with a name is a great treat. I bet you live to far away, RIGHT? I live pretty close and I feel for all the Porchsters that live to far to make it, but you will diffently be in our thoughts.
Well it is still raining here (5 days now) its getting a little old. Sorry to complain, the bible says to do all things without grumbling or complaining, I should do that a whole lot more often than I do. Forgive me, we are suppose to keep happy thoughts RIGHT! I hope yall all have a great day. Take Care! Love to All, Hoggette

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25552: Hey to the Porch....Hoggette I am glad your getting around and ch need to let us know what the medico says ASAP...Sorry the weather front is just giving you rain...we got 20" of snow in the last 24 hrs....It's pretty and I've had a 4 hour, and 3 hour days at work since Wed. Braved the "White Death" today and came to work...I have to work too hard at I needed to come into work to rest. Got a trivial triviality that's preying on me...what was the fellers name in "Guest of Honor"...same fellow who played "C.J. Hoffman" (welcome to you CJ, by the way) but I don't think he had the same name....Next to Floyd's outstanding "NIPITINTHEBUD!!!" and "All is well in Mayberry" I sure like that speech Barn gives that fellow about trust and all. Hope you are doing better De§...and Thel, I can sympathise with you...I've had to deal with similar folks before...not responding to them is a good way to handle regards to her odor...that's harder to ignore...maybe if you got one of those little fans and let it blow not towards her but sort of cross wind to her...I haven't been to the Mayberry Cafe in over a year...sadly, I guess the still got the same videos. Ooops sorry for the length.JP

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25553:
Thomas A. Moody

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25554: Hey ~Des~, How er ya' ta'day? Hey Hoggette, Bring back lots of a stories to share with all of us. Hey ta' JP an' cj. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25555: Briscoe Jr? play something lively for us, pleeze?

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25556: Well we're getting the snow, Hoggette. Been snowin all mornin and we lost power agin for 'bout an hour, hour and a half. That Deja Vue was NOT fun! Thank goodness the power came back quickly this time. I'll quit my grippin and complainin too. Briscoe how 'bout scrubbin off Dirty Me, Dirty Me, I'm disgusted with myself..........Miss Peg

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25557: Thanks msg #25553 you're a life saver man (or woman). Miss Peg...that'n makes me cry! What about "tearin' up you clothes for rags".JP

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25558: Wasn't Mr. Moody also Otis' lawyer, Mr. Bentley? I don't think he was C.J.
Mister Dave

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25559: Hey Msg 25555, I'd a be glad ta'. Here 'tis: "Gimmie All Your Lovin'" by ZZ Top. Fer Miss Peg, "Dirty Me, Dirty Me, I'm Disgusted With Myself." Fer JP, "Tearin Up Your Clothes For Rags." All good'uns! Play'em purty now a boys. Triple shot! Here we go. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25560: Hey, y'all!!
Kin ya believe they broke into TAGS to tell us it's raining... it'll be News in a few hours if the creeks flood or the hills slide, but this just rain, fer cryin' loud out...
Say, CJ, remind me (us) about th' Wanted poster of your namesake... I jes' ain't recollectin' that tidbit...
Y'all stay warm an' dry, friends... ~~~love, Leon

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25561: I believe you're right, Mr. Dave.
Hey to ever'one. Been doin' some surfin' today. Back's nagging, but getting there. Thanks for all the concern. I foolishly scrubbed the front bathroom this afternoon, but so far, so good. Wonder if this ever happened to Aunt Bee....
Thanks for the great music today, Junior. I didn't get that last mail until a few minutes ago, so............ dirty me, dirty me............. (at least it ain't smelly me!) Poor Miss Thel.......
Still workin' on it, ~~Leon. What's happenin' on your end?

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25562: Excuse me, I know I don't visit the porch often enough or post on a regular
basis, but I feel kinda left out of the long list of Mayberrians posted at #25382.
Granted, you only need my services when absolutely necessary, a bad picture tube or
or when your horizontal is on the fritz. And I have been know to lay out
a pretty good looking corpse or two. But, Old ORVILLE MONROE doesn't want to be
forgetten in our little corner of Mayberry here. Please respectfully add my name
to your long list of contributors. -- Orville Monroe

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25563: Orville Monroe, your presence is gratefully acknowledged!
Hey a Briscoe: Bravo, bravo! Encore, encore! With the workweek drawing to a close, how about Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Ask Me No Questions"? Thankee kindly, friend.

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25564: Hey, Orville! I ain't seen ya in awhile, but you've sure been here a long time. How ya been? Still hangin' at Say-ruh's? I can't get there but once in a blue moon these days...... :(

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25565: Hey B.D.jr.--how 'bout something from the light classics...
SAY, how about that good ol' Tony Bennet number
"I Left My Hort in San Fransico"??
been done to death, I know, but I ain't
never heard it jugged...

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25566: Sorry Leon, the part about the wanted poster wasn't connected to an episode, it was just my teeth rattlin'. Sorry again, hope you didn' spend alot of time lookin'. -- cj hoffman

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25567: Tony Bennett
Hey, y'all~~ gonna be readin' in th' Archives, lookin' fer a Post of the Day Feature over to th' Porch Chapter Site... any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Fans of "Frames" will be pleased to find a new Navigation page, an' there's other new stuff, too, an' even more in th' works!
~~~love, Leon

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25568: or how about "Please By-Pass This Hort" for
me and des and all the other PorchParrots??

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25569: sorry, that's ".net", not ".com"...
Then, C.J. is your handle TAGS-related? Not required, of course-- Mayberry's way yonder bigger than Sarah's Phone Book shows, what with all th' hill folks, an' phone-less farmers an' all... ~~LL

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25570: Tony Bennett sings much better'n I type, thank goodness... Please forgive my idiocy. ~~LL

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25571: Hey to the porch!
I believe Barney dressed up as a clown in Return to Mayberry to teach
traffic safety to children at school.Thats the only time I remember him
as a clown. He was Santa,a cleaning lady,a lady placing a bet,Dr. Pendyke,
and a gambler,but not a clown in the regular show. If I missed a disquise,
let me know!
(still Sarah-less}

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25572: Barney was dressed as a dummy in Weavers Dept. store....

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25573: Wanted to put that one,couldnt describe it! Thanks!

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25574: Okay, I finally got around to making the archives sort automatically. You shouldn't have any trouble finding the most recent archive now, as it should be at the top of the list. Also, I found some older archives from 1995 -- you might wanna check 'em out!
-Sherrif Frank

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25575: ~Des, tell us again which mIRC server you use.

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25576: Good evening to the porch. Wanted to take a break from cooking my spaghetti and come by and say hey. Gone from the proch a couple of days and we get some new folks here. Welcome to the newcommers! Be sure to call in your reservations for the motel rooms for Mayberry Days, now. And remember, Nashville is just weeks away too. Anyone got any oregano I can borry?

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25577: LOL, Jelsik!! And I'll second that "Please Bypass This Hort"! That's a good'n, even though it does make me cry........
Tony Bennett RULES!! Gee, it's nice that others here appreciate him, too. I HEREBY NOMINATE TONY BENNETT FOR 'KING OF THE UNIVERSE'. Hey, when you're Sinatra's "favorite singer", what else is there???
There'll be smoothe sailin' cuz I'm trimmin' my sails....
in my top hat, my white tie and my tails.....
I'm steppin' out with my baby,
can't go wrong cuz I'm in right,
ask me when will the day be,
the big day may beeee toooooo-nightttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!"

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25578: That'd be the Starlink server in Rockhill, SC. Comin' to chat with us? Or that other one?? (~sqwawkkkkkk~!!)
Hope this heps ya.

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25579:
MCB, Sarah's has been fixed for awhile. It should work for you. Make sure you empty your cache in your browser, then try again.
Here are some pics of Barney in disguise:
Barney as a coat-hanger.
Barney out of uniform, but not in his "Salt and Pepper".
Barney as a Dummy, at Weavers.
Barney as cleaning lady Mrs. MacGruder's cousin.
Barney riding a horse from East to West during a full moon
Barney as Doctor Pendyke.
Barney as Ernest T.'s Bride.
That's all I have time for, I hope this helped! You can thank **Barn, those are scans from his Mayberry Trading Cards.
I hope everyone is doing wonderfully! May God embrace all of you, but not squeeze too hard!
heading for the hills.

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25580: Thank you, Otis©. You're a prince. A prince!
well, you're just a prince....

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25581: Nobody on irc?

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25582: Thank you, Otis©. You're a prince. A prince!
well, you're just a prince....

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25583: eewwww.. I don't like cabbage that much....
Anyway, I'm at mIRC. I'll leave it open until 7:30CST, or 8:30EST.

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25584: Yup, Otis is a prince all right. He's ept.

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25585: Anybody over at mIRC? Been there and nobody there
Otis is a prince!!

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25586: Otis Campbell,
you be careful in your adventures-- drive defensive, rest often, an' don't ferget ta brush yer teeth, say yer prayers, an' check yer oil often. **hug**
~~~love, li'l bro Leon

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25587: Good evening porch- It's still raining here (Ma'm do we always have to
talk about the wheather?) My bulbs are starting to break ground. Last
year I put in 100 bulbs out front. Hope everyone out there is warm and
dry and and fighting cabin fever. What'd we do before computers?
Mizz Lesh
I like to think when I put on an undershirt, Mr Goss, down at the
laundry was the last person to touch it.

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25588: You will be mine, you will be my beloveded. I may be a little mean
but I make up for it by being real healthy!

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25589: The Robert E. Lee natural bridge? I don"t think I've ever heard of it.
It's a oak tree that fell over the shallow part of the creek.

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25590: We're here to protect one of the all time greats, and how you can think
Think mind you of backing down is beyond me and mine.

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25591: You're at attention, 3!!!!!!!!!

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25592: Nice chattin' with ya tonight, Hazel and Juanita! Also the guys at the earlier chat. Sorry I BRB'd and took too long. CYA mañana.

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25593: Thanks Otis!
I got in unframed. I'll empty my cache like you said. Thanks for responding!
You're a peach!

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25594: Welcome to all the newcomers on the porch. I haven't been able to get here for 3 days. I'll go back and read the archives later. It took me a while to catch up on reading from Feb. 3 through 6. I've been missing all of you but when the computer says no connection believe me, there is no connection!! Thel, I will pray for you so that you can keep quiet around your co-worker. You are a very strong person for doing just that. I admire you for it. I hope everyone on the porch that has been sick or ailing is feeling much better today. Miss Crump "Sit down, Mr. Bass!"

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25595: sdsdfsafasdasdfasdf

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25596: sprechen ze duetch?!

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25597: Hi Everyone! Wonderful day in spite of the rain, cruised the art galleries today, what fun! MCB, Tried to get to Sara's tonight, the first screen popped up so fast and I thought "yipee!" cause I thought it had been improved. Well then it told me it was sorry that it couldn't connect. Leon, I saw your post too late last night! I am usually up after most of you because of the time zones and all, but hadn't seen any new posts. I was also frustrated that the weather once again bumped Andy, especially since it was a Charleen episode! MAN IN A HURRY, there are some pictures at Flora's Photos on the KCOCC Chapter page. It would be great to have another photo album on the porch chapter site too! Hoggette, I can't tell you how many ways I've tried to work in a trip to Mayberry Days. I want to meet everyone so badly! Take lots of pictures please for us to see. Miss Crump, I wondered why you weren't seen here lately, glad you are safe and sound. Sherriff Frank, thank you for this porch and maintaining it like you do, I sure do enjoy hearing about everyone and where they live and work, etc. Take care all, be seeing you,---Hazel

February 6, 1998 - Msg 25598: Hey, Hazel~~
Y'know, we've got three geocities sites (9 MB!) ta work with, besides linkin' to Porchsters' own systems an' pages, so we kin have anything an' everything we want--
I'm just not able to upload stuff with this WebLameTv, an' my skills is limited, so this is truly a communal effort. I'm tryin' ta match up folks with ideas with other folks with skills, ta get some of these neat ideas afloat.
F'rinstance, one Porchster might search th' Archives fer all the Poems, or the links like someone suggested-- they might have to e-mail someone else the list of Msg #'s to upload 'em. From there, I can put stuff in it's place, or another pagebuilder might do chores in there...
What helps me most is havin' brother Burt uploadin' stuff, but I'm kinda maxxin' him out (man's got a life, wouldn't ya know..), an' could stand to be able to call on a couple folks for the "wouldja load this into our file manager, please" chore. An' I wanna free Burt up fer doin' some badly needed graphics.
Porchsters is a special bunch... lotta variety, an' yet sharin' this common bond... an' it's much more than TAGS. An' lookit how we're growin'?!
Give th' place a good goin' over-- it's your place, an' put in yer two-cents-worth or get a homepage there or build somethin' or nominate a "post of the day" or write to "Flo" or put rediculously long non-TAGS posts (like this one) at the Porch Steps BB.
th' Taylors' Front Porch On-Line TAGSRWC Chapter
My work is obvious. None of that stuff would be there without Burt. ~Des~ is workin' on stuff, an' you know Otis an' **Barn have a lot into this...
I even got Sheriff Frank's okee-dokee, 'cause he's a Porchster, too, an' he'll have his hand it same as ever'one.
I'm sorry fer this big ol' post... prob'ly won't be my last promotin' our site, but won't need to ever say so much at once. Stuff like this belongs over there, anyways. 'Scuse me, I'm done. Thank ye.
~~~love, Leon

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25599: "his hand in it"

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25600: "I'm makin you a present of saturdey!"

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25601: We're lookin for ideas for something to do on a winter day, without going to movies, the mall, etc. Any suggestions?

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25602: Any museums around? Drive around the countryside and take pictures. Go to the library and look up your areas history. Visit some homebound folks. Build a kite, or birdhouse. Take some unneeded warm clothes to a shelter.

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25603: If you need an idea for something to do on a winter day, the answer is obvious. Watch TAGS.
And tell'em Goober said hey.
Mr. Schwump

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25604: Leon,
If'n you read this later, I'd love to help to add my geocities homepage to a list to help promote TAGS. I joined your chapter and want to do my part to help, just drop me some e-mail and I'll do what I can.
Mr. Schwump

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25605: G'mornin' all. Hey Gomer, I'd be a glad ta' my friend. "Ask Me No Questions." Fer my pal Jelsik TB's "I Left My Heart In San Francisco" an' "Please Bypass This Heart." Great tunes guys. Triple shot! I hope I a do'em justice. Here we go. Briscoe(music lover)Darling Jr.

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25606: Hey, y'all!
How 'bout packin' up a few board games an' stoppin' by th' kids' ward at th' local hospital...
Say, Randy says hey, wouldja drop me a line at
Thank ye, Mr. Schwump, fer doin' th' Chapter Membership Form thing... glad ta have ya on board! 'Specially 'cause ya have a full-on TAGS site of yer own, it helps show how all-inclusice a bunch we is. Lookin' forward to sharin' an' workin' with ya!
Say, Briscoe Jr, how 'bout "Sixteen Tons"... or "John Henry"...
~~~love, Leon **whew!**

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25607: Confusious say - "Never scrub sink and bathtub when have kink in back. Not wise."
Happy Saturday afternoon to all my friends on the porch. Can't wait for more color eps on WGN Monday. The '65/'66 season wasn't bad. The show, as good as it was, just wasn't the same without Barn.

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25608: Say, uh...
'member last summer when I had thet feller stayin' with me what I was helpin' out an' he ripped me off an' disappeared? Feller appeared on mah doorstep yesterday, lookin' clean an' fresh, askin' after his guitar-- I told him it went with th' rest of his stuff when his in-law come an' got his stuff. Sent him away without challengin' him fer doin' me wrong, didn't punch him out like I've nightmared about, or nothin'... just closed th' door an' turned th' page on thet chapter. Hard ta do... still sufferin' th' effects of th' harm he done, an' I really wanted ta hurt 'im. I think God got me in a quick full-nelson there an' kept me outta trouble. Thank ya, God.
Jes' wanted ta share thet with ya... ~~LL

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25609: Like to told ya the other night, Leon, you did the right thing. This guy knows what he is, and now you know what you're made of. Punchin' him out would make you feel better, but only for a few moments. In the long run you'd have been ashamed of yerself. Besides, to add insult to injury, this chap might've pressed charges and/or sued ya! Now wouldn't that be a turn of events!?!?!

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25610: Oh, I'da had ta go all the way with this guy, 'cause he's not one you'd want to come back mad once he's recovered... "thought about killin' him... kinda hate ta go thet far..." ~~LL

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25611: Hey to porch. Thanks MCB and Otis. My friend must have been refering to the Return To Mayberry. I don't remember it but I only seen that one a couple times and I don't have it on tape. About Leons situation, nothin' like that ever happened to me. But if it did I'd probably just remember what Andy said one time, "If I'da shot y I mighta' hit em', and I figured you'd rather have em' alive. Then in the second place, he might of shot back, and I'd rather have me alive". I shouldn't ever try to give advise. Heaven knows I got my own problems, but if I ever have a real big one, I know exactly what I'd do. I'd ask Helen what to do. After all, she's a teacher. At leat that's what Floyd would say to do and he should know,cause he's a barber. Anyway, thanks again for the Barney info. . ----cj hoffman (Ill be off the porch about a week. Hey to all.)

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25612: Oh, right on, CJ...

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25613: Thanks Hazel for your information on our pictures. Just got back from Williams Arena in Minneapolis as I watched the Golden Gophers stop the Michigan Wolverines. I'm still worn out from last years run to the final four. De§,I have a question for you. Elton John is coming to Minneapolis. About how much are the tickets? MAN IN A HURRY

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25614: I'm posting this in hopes someone - ANYONE- can help me.
I know it is not related to the Show, but I can't find
anything about it anywhere else!
I was telling some friends that Phil Jackson got canned
and because of that Michael Jordan is not coming back
but no one believes me.
Can someone here hurry up and confirm this? I
appreciate your help.

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25615: Go to
click on the 'Sports' on the right, and they have a story that might help you.

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25616: Go to
This one's a better confirmation.

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25617:
Juanita Here: I have an announcement to make:
I have a little angel. Yup, a little pup-a-roni. He looks like a cross between a beagle and a jack russle...He is about 12 weeks old (???) and my mom found him wandering in the road in a non-residential area. He was covered in paint and glue and his little collar was so tight I couldnt believe it. I will watch the papers for a lost pup. Perhaps put an ad in myself...For now, he is well fed and bathed and walked and played with and kissed on every minute. I was gonna name him Andy or Barney.
But, I decided on Buddy. He just looks like a Buddy. I just thought you all would like to know that the kitty cat controversy is over and done.
I got me a little buddy. (ps I even tried on Briscoe for a name...hehehe)
Juanita and Buddy.

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25618: Congratulations Juanita and Buddy. As for the above question, Phil Jackson is not coming back due to the his own decision. He could come back if he wanted to. And if he doesn't want come back then Jordan says he wont come back also. I don't think Jackson ever thought he got the backing he should have from the Bulls upper echelon. I have a feeling Jordan will be back but with another team some time in the future. Remember you heard it here first. He still has way too much talent to waste it on retirement. MAN IN A HURRY-direct from the Mayberry sports line.

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25619:
Congratulations to Buddy for finding Juanita !!

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25620: Ohhh Juanita, Juanita, Juaneet....
There is none so sweet, as Buddy's new Mom,
Juanita, Juanita, Juaneet.
You done give me the warm fuzzies, is what you did.JP

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25621: Good evenin' to all of you on the porch. Please tell me what is happening over at Sarah's. I got on the chat line and there was another person on but they weren't talking and I was. Wonder what causes that? I asked if they could read me but I got no answer. Do you think that there is something dreadfully wrong at Sarah's or are none of us connecting to each other when we get there? Is the Count visiting there again? Let me know if any of you can get on and talk to others that are there. Well, I'll try again. 10-4 Miss Crump

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25622: Oh, Congratulations to Juanita for finding Buddy. I'm glad you got him and are taking good care of him. Miss Crump

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25623: Miss Crump, sometimes folks leave Sarah's without logging off, so their name stays there for 10 minutes. It could just be that. I just left there and it was empty, so was the #Tags place. 9:00 on Saturday night and both places closed up tight. "Doesn't anyone swing in this town?"
Hey to the porch -
Milton P. Oliver

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25624: Sure, we have swings - we just don't use 'em after 9:00, that's all!
hahaha~ Hope everyone's fine and well tonight. Just checkin' in.

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25625: I heard that Brian Wilson (of the Beach Boys) died. Has anyone else heard this?

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25626: Also Falco. (alles klar, herr kommissar??) heart failure.

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25627: It was Carl Wilson, and Falco ("Amadeus") died in a car crash. Hope this helps.

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25628: Thank you for setting me straight, Milton P. Oliver. I was worried about my computer not working correctly. Which is one of the possibilities these days. Speaking of swinging..... I just received one piece of the Mayberry Village and it was beautiful. It was the Taylor Home and it had a swing. Going to Sarah's again just to check it out.
Lots of luck to you and yours,
Miss Crump

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25629: Hey, Shawnee talked to someone tonight that is selling their whole Mayberry Village I believe it is 5 buildings and Andy, Barney, Aunt Bee and Opie figures and the squad car for $250. Is that a good price? We aren't sure if we want to get it, and if we don't if its a good buy and someone else wants it we will be glad to give you the number of the lady who is selling it.
Hey Orville Monroe, its good to see you and we will never forget you especially Mayberry Band Member. We still got that video for you and a few other things. We have had a lot of things gong on lately and most of them haven't been good(you'll have to check the archives around Jan. 7) We will eventually mail them to you, please don't get to aggravated at us.
Johnny Paul, I wished we had some snow. We did finally get rid of the rain today!!!! PRAISE THE LORD
Ya, coming to Mayberry Days? How about you Miss Peg, you coming this year?
Went to see Blues Brother's 2000 today, it was pretty good, lots of famous singers in that one. Aretha Franklin, Eric Clapton, Wilson Pickett, B.B. King, Travis Tritt, Steve Winwood, James Brown, Sam Moore, Bo Diddley, and many more, if you like the Blues Brother's and that kind of music it was pretty good. Well I better get out of here, I got church early in the morning and I better be awake, Shawnee is singing in the morning!!! Love to All, Hoggette

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25630: Well I'LL SWONNY!

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25631: Carl Wilson, at his home in Hawthorne CA (purt near ta Frank's place), of lung cancer. He was also fightin' brain cancer. **prayers**
Another loss, though not so precious-- our 400-year-old Encino Oak got knocked down by El Niño tonight... The Valley, here, is hardly Mayberry-- this is where suburbia and malls were born, and now it's a cement-lined snake-pit-- but we do have some history, an' this tree was here before any of it.
All things must pass, I guess. Not likin' it don't make it stop. ~~LL

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25632: :(((, Leon. That's sad about the oak. Imagine something being around that long! So sad.

February 7, 1998 - Msg 25633: Sorry to hear 'bout the oak. Jeff
"boy giraffes sure are selfish"

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25634: Good (early) mornin', everybody! I'm sure no one's here at this hour, so I'll just leave a note. Just got back from spending the day with my parents, helping them clean out their attic. Thank heavens for a 6'5" son who was there all day also. Couldn't have done it without him. Also mounted a brand-new squirrel house in a tree in the backyard, so's my dad's trees will be nice and full. (Squirrels had been livin' in the attic - hence the cleanout, and the new squirrel house.) They'd chewed through some wiring, so a light wouldn't turn on, that's how we discovered they were living there. The Big Mama of the outfit is a special pet, takes pecans from my dad's fingers, comes right up to him when he's outside, lookin' for a handout. Dad's 80, this is a great source of joy to him, so a squirrel house was a must after evicting them from the attic.
Juanita, I'm glad you found Buddy and he found you. Don't think I'd search too hard for his previous owner. Anybody that'd let a puppy run around with a too-tight collar, and either apply glue and paint to him, or allow him to get into it, just doesn't deserve to have him, in my opinion. Animals are people, too, to quote one of my kids many years ago.
~~Leon, bless you, you dear little feller. It must have been so hard to control your emotions when that miserable wretch appeared at your door, but you did it, thereby proving yourself waaaay YONDER the better man. (Smarter, too.) My dad has had rent property for years, and I'll tell you, sometimes you just stand back and marvel at the nerve of some people! That's why we need and enjoy Mayberry so much. We don't have that kind of people here.
Well, guess I'll run on home and get some rest. You all be sweet now, and keep on actin' like somebody.--Romeena

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25635: Hey to Romeena!

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25636: So long, everybody, your Lydia is hitting the road. Will be in Florida for two weeks of much needed sun and warmth (I hope), things that have been in short supply here in North Carolina this winter. Hope everybody has a great fortnight (as Malcolm Merriwether would say). And to my beloved Goober, an especially happy Valentine's Day. I'll miss being around for that. Take care all, see you the week of the 23rd.
the world traveler (as long as I don't have to go out of doors. I hate the out of doors.)

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25637: Hi I am new here and dont know much about chat rooms. I just got this computer and got internet acsess ( oops my spelling) so what is all this stuff about any hoo?

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25638: Good Sabbath to everyone. (I'm actually working today.) Had my MRI on Friday. Never had one before and it was definitely interesting. Didn't know if I was claustropobic or not - but soon found out. The technician said just close your eyes before you go in and take a nap. So that's what I did, I closed my eyes. Felt funny the first couple of minutes until the noise started. THAT took my mind off being claustropobic. When it was finally over and the lights came on I decided to open my eyes to see how bad it would have been. It was about two inches from my face. Glad I had my eyes closed the whole time. When I got out, I asked them about this business of taking a nap. (it would have been like sleeping at a construction site.) - And if I didn't have noise in my ear before, I would have now. Anyway, it was a very interesting experience. I find out on Wed. about the results. ch (Thel, can you use a radio or at your office? It might take your mind of your co-worker and make your day a little bit brighter. We had this guy who had bad body odor. Somebody left a can of deoderant on HIS desk. Don't know if I'd recommend that or not - but it worked for him. Also, you might try praying that she will have a change of heart and praying that God helps you cope with it.)

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25639: Hi I am the new one. do I need a name or somthing? If I do you
can call me Miss Crump. I am a wanabe teacher. If you guys would
let me I would sure like to be part of chat room. That is what this
is Right?
Miss Crump

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25640: February 11, 1997 - Msg 5114 was my first post. I want to thank all of you whom have become my dear friends. I have grown a lot. I believe I've learned something every day, and that's my life's goal!
My scooter is in the shop. She blinked, and then before I knew it, an 18 Wheeler had a blowout, and the result was 3 pounds of tire rubber coming my way. I had to lay down the bike, and well, I am still here to make this post, just a few cuts-and stuff, no broken bones. Thanks God! There's alot to say about helmets. Sorry for the long non-TAGS post, but I needed to say howdy, and when I get my scooter out of the shop, I'm heading back to Texas.
See ya'll, have a Super Day!

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25641: Hi to the new one! You are as welcome as can be. We have a regular Miss Crump, may we call you "Helen" instead? I think this is what you would call a "chat board," but we also have some Mayberry chatrooms where the conversations scoll by as they are being typed. They are a lot of fun. Look at "Who's been messing up the bulletin board" and locate "Mayberry chat," The first one on the list is where most people go, I think, least that's the one I use. Holler if you have any more questions, everyone here is very helpful, see you later.---Hazel

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25642: G'mornin, Porch! How is ever'one on this bee-u-tee-ful Sunday mornin'? All's well here. My back's once again granted me a reprieve. We'll see how long this one lasts.
Just doin' laundry, and watchin' TAGS tapes. It's my turn on the VCR, dernit! The kids have played their tapes all mornin' and truthfully, I'm kinda wore out from listenin' to their little buddies and wonderin' which Hansen brother is gonna make the best son-in-law, etc.....
Otis©, you be careful out there!! I don't know what we'd do without you.
Have a wonderful trip, Lydia (check yer mail).
(mmm bop, bop bop do bop, d'ya bop, bop do bop......) hehehe~

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25643: G'afternoon all. Hey to the new porcher. Glad ta' have ya'! Ya'll have a great day. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25644: Also welcome to the newcomer! I'm with Hazel: How's about "Helen"??

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25645: Thank you everyone I will be most happy to be called Helen
My husband just told me to get off the darn computer, got to go
shopping. I'll come back later to vist.
thanks again

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25646: Otis©, You gave Mayberry a SCARE there. Take care!!! No one else, anywhere, can fill your chair.

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25647: 646 is right, and don't you know it. Don't crack your head and commence to blow it!

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25648: Otis, thank goodness you're OK. Whew! Bet that scared the bijeebees out of ya. Lydia, you have a nice warm trip. Juanita, I'm sooo glad Buddy found you. I have six cats, four of which came to me half starved. I jes couldn't hep myself and took em in and they've given enuff love to last me a lifetime. I'm sure Buddy will do the same for you. ~~Leon, hon, you got a BIG HORT. ***HUGS*** WELCOME HELEN. You'll love it here. The husband yelling to get of the puter is deja vue for me. LOL..............Miss Peg

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25649: it's th' Omen of th' Shredded Tire, Otis... that's when ya see big pieces of Black Rubber, flying south to north in your lane... Glad you was wearin' your (brain)bucket at th' time, bud. Hope yer mechanic has th' right incant fer yer bike...
~~~love, bro Leon

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25650: I just watched "The Jefferson's". If anyone here has Colored friends, call them up, and give them a BIG Hug!~~~~

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25651: Hi everyone this is Helen. Got back from shopping got dinner going
kicked the husband out the door to go visetin and now I can get back
to mayberry.
You all sound very nice. I was reading some of the past posts and you all seem to have a nice place here.
Thank you helen for the information I will try the chat room and mayberry I will see you there.
were are you'all from. I live in vermont.

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25652: Hey sure Aunt Bee wasn't in the bushes with a wire 'bout neck high? know how she feels about 'cycles. Glad you are ok! Pretty day here in the Commonwealth...49 degrees and sunny...Our 20 inches of snow is about down to 10 of mud and slush. Should be all gone by Wednesday. Gotta go...I'm staining the new window. One of those "garden windows"...kind of like a little green house. JP

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25653: I meant Hazel not helen oopsie!

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25654: Good afternoon, everybody! Welcome Helen. We're glad to have you. Just pull up a chair, set and rock a spell and listen in, jump in where you wish. Pretty soon you'll know all the neighbors well. You'll find that we enjoy TAGS quotes a lot, related to the conversation is nice but not mandatory, and you're gonna find that these are the nicest people you could find anywhere!
Otis©, dern yer hide, you stop scarin' us like that! Friend, when ARE you gonna start takin' better care of yerself?? If you don't just take the rag off'n the bush, I don't know who does. Between you and ~~Leon and his shockin' experiences, you're gonna give everybody hair as gray as mine!--Romeena
"Bless her heart, if this tip pans out, I believe I'll get her a bottle of witch hazel, all to herself!" (Andy)

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25655: Hey to the Gang! I'm not sure but I think that this is the first time that I've been here. Anyone here going to Nashville on March 6? I'll be there with my good friend Randy Shields. My name is Mike Creech, but you can call me Dud Wash if that ones not taken.

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25656: I used to know a Mike Creech I think at Fort Bragg North Carolina. Welcome Helen. you will enjoy the porch. And if you are in the mood for a song Briscoe Darling Jr. will polish one off for you whenever you wish. Just tell him what you like. Got to run. MAN IN A HURRY

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25657:
Warning, Spam to Follow:
Like Goober's Greetings, we have new pics with **Barn's Electronic Trading Cards. Show someone that you care, Send a postcard today. It's free! This isn't linked to KCOCC yet, but you know me, I can't keep a secret aTALL!
...Otis©, I Ga'll darn gone and dunnit...Anyone have a Harley for sale?

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25658: Otis, what an outSTANDIN' idea!!!

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25659: That's our Otis, out standing in his field.

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25660:
Otis© is a outstandin Prince!, that's what he is!

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25661: Otis, don't tell me it was a'll make me cry! Jeff

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25662: Hey to the porch!
Reading Otis' nostalgic post made me go back to the archives and find my first post. It was #4414.I used my nickname for the first time on #4421.Ah! memories.I hope this finds everyone well. Otis,hope your bike mends real soon.

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25663: A belated Happy Anniversary to MCB!

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25664: Well, Otis©, I guess that's why you're the prince! Sure is an outstandin' idee.
Can you believe I actually went to the Spam site? - sheesh! Learned some thangs. There's more to my education than 2x2, y'know.
Hope y'all are havin' a nice, WARM and peaceful Sunday night. All's fine here at Checkpoint Chickie......

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25665: good evening porch hope everyone had a good weekend So glad to hear
Buddy has a home, and some one to give him a Mr. Cookie bar.
Still raining here, and things aren't looking real good for your area
is it Hazel? Just a few more weeks and we can all start singing good
ol' 14A
Mrs. Lesh
Have I got a sweet deal for you

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25666: Well, I told her she could call me if there was any trouble.
Oh, she could call you? Well, uh, how come you got her number?
So I could call and see if she's having any trouble, sort of a
trouble check.
Well, when did you trouble check last?
Uh, yesterday.
You didn't trouble check today? Well, we better do that. Sarah, get me
42R and put this right thru, this is a trouble check.

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25667: Charlene, you owe something to that boy thats been in the service!
I sent'em a fruitcake.

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25668:
Isn't LIFE Wonderful!
Nuff said!

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25669:
Barney: An officer...
Andy: Of...
Barney: An officer of...
Andy: An officer of...the.
Barney: An officer of the...
Andy: ...of the...
Barney: An officer of the what? That don't sound right.
Andy: It ain't right. An officer of the
Barney: Right. An officer of the law...
Andy: Shall.
Barney: Shall...
Andy: Enforce the law....and order without regard to
Andy: to personal welfare and safety.
Barney: ...personal...welfare...and saftey.
Andy: You want to go over it again or do you think you got it?
Barney: I got it.

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25670:
BARNEY: Who died and left you boss!? Why don't you go
sit in the grocery store so we'll know you're the
big cheese!

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25671:
ANDY: Now look....Horatio is not the only needy boy...Son,
didn't you ever give anybody anything just for the
pleasure of it? Somethin' you didn't want anything
in return for?
OPIE: Sure, just yesterday I gave my friend Jimmy
ANDY: Now that's fine. What'd you give him.
OPIE: A sock in the head.
ANDY: I meant charity.
OPIE: I didn't charge him nothing.
ANDY: I meant something for the joy of giving......
OPIE: I ENJOYED IT. I don't like Jimmy anymore. He makes
fun of Charlotte.
ANDY: Who's Charlotte?
OPIE: My girlfriend.
ANDY: Well, I just don't see how anybody who has as much
as you could care so little about others.
ANDY: Not when you give a little, piddling amount like
three cents. That's being selfish. You should have
given at least a half a dollar or a dollar.
OPIE: A DOLLAR? Gosh, Paw. I only have two dollars and
twenty cents in my whole piggy bank and I'm saving
it to buy Charlotte something.
ANDY: Now well! That's dandy. THAT IS JUST DANDY. Whole
dollars you'll squander on your girlfriend Charlotte
but when it comes to the Under Privileged Children's
Fund you've got only three cents.
OPIE: I wasn't gonna squander it, Paw. I wasn't gonna
squander it.
ANDY: Yeah.
OPIE: What's squander?

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25672: Hey to the Porch! Dud Wash, looking forward to meeting you in Nashville, we'll be there! BIG doin's over at Sarah's tonight! Had several of the "Veterans" (Emma, Flora, Jennie, Emmett, Ellie, Otis, **Barn, mcb, NMG, Bobby the Beast, and Hazel) a new REGULAR, soon to be veteran, Nita (I STILL say it's 12!) and newcomers Fran, Helen (from Vermont and here on the porch), and her sister Nell. It was a blast! Looks like the porch has been busy lately, too. Keep spreading that Mayberry spirit around folks!
Milton P. Oliver
"I'm going to Nashville"

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25673: Just the other night they cooked up about the worst mess of grub I ever did see...hoot owl pie! Perfectly good hoot owl, just plumb wasted.

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25674: Hey to MPO! Long time, bud. Sounds like a large time at Say-ruh's. I was at that other Sunday night chat (sqwawk!), but probably couldn't have gotten in anyways...... :(
You ain't gettin' warshed away, 'ere ya, Hazel? You and Leon be careful out there! Who all's goin' to Nashville? Wish I could make it.

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25675: Yo quiero Taco Bell......... por favor??

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25676: DES...ICQ ME!
hope I wasnt too pushy!


February 8, 1998 - Msg 25677: Hey to the porch...Hope everybody had a GREAT Sabbath...I did, and am lookin forward to seein what tommorrow may bring...just thought I would check in and say hey!..
Hope I wasnt too pushy...


"Come to the Church in the Wildwood, oh come to the Church in the Vale...Nothing is so dear to my Childhood, as the Little Brown Church in the Vale!"

February 8, 1998 - Msg 25678: They was a Dud Wash come thu here sometime back, but he didn't stay long-- musta went off ta defend our country or somethin'. Well, so long as he don't come back an' find ya wif his Darlin person, I suppose ya kin have th' same name, huh? Any th' ol'timers heared from ol' Dud since... long time ago? o, "Welcome Home", Dud-- we don't swing much after 9 pm..
"Hey", an' "Welcome Home" ta you, too, Miss Crump! **hug** (oh, that'll wash off..)
~~~love, Leon
Oh! Hey, O.C.! You beat all, you know that?! Oh, my, ain't them new Tradin' Card Greetin' Cards GREAT?!

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25679: Welcome to all of you newcomers.
To Otis© 25640, your story brought back memories of somethin' similar that happened to me.
Many years ago, I was target shooting with my revolver at an indoor range. After firing one particular bullet, I noticed a large piece of the bullet jacket come flying back from the target towards me. It hit me in my lower forehead, right above my safety glasses. Luckilly, it didin't even break my skin.
The funny thing is that when it happened, it was like slow motion. I actually could see the piece of metal flying towards me, but I didn't have time to react.
I bet you saw that 3lbs of rubber come at you in slow motion. Weird effect.
To Sheriff Frank 25574, thanks for the sort routine. It's a big help.
To MCB 25571, no one has mentioned when Barney disguised as an old lady to place a bet with Floyd's bookie barber.
Poor Horatio

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25680: good morn' to ya'all I had to best time lasdt night cant think of a better one in a long time. you sure are nice folk!
I will be back! you can count on that one!
thanks again gots to go to work.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25681: I am
Thought for the day
What's done's done

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25682: stopped by Sarah's for a minute last night,
talked with Nell and Ellie...
missed the big crowd though, Ellie said
she wasn't sure where they went...
said she thought she heard one of them say something
about that club in Yancy...
(...they are good dancers.....)

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25683: Hey to jim says hey: So sorry I missed ya on the list, I must have
gotten you confused with Jim says Hey. Anyway, my sincere apologies.
My heart is very heavy after hearing Carl Wilson(Beach Boys) died
recently. They have always been and will always be my favorite
musical group. Talk about forgotten youth! Girls and cars, cars and
girls. That's my teenage years in a nutshell! I would have surfed,too,
except we don't have any ocean waves where I grew up. My prayers and
thoughts go out to Brian Wilson, the only one of the three Wilson
boys left here on earth. I best get off this subject material quick
before I choke up some.
"Thelma, Andy Lou's here!" - B. Fife
Randy says Hey

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25684: Hey Helen. Sure was nice talkin to ya last night at Sarah's. You're welcome to come back anytime, cause we like havin new faces there. I hope everybody has a real nice monday.Emmett

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25685: "Two and two makes four."

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25686: G'mornin' all. Welcome ta' Helen an' Dud Wash. MAN IN A HURRY is a right, I a play a request soes a don't be a shy. I'll play a "Doug's Tune" this a mornin'. Hey Otis, Glad yer okay thar bud. Hey ta' Rafe an' **Barn. Here we go. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25687: Briscoe Jr?? How 'bout some Beach Boys for Randy says Hey?

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25688: Hey Randy says Hey, I'd be a glad ta' my friend. Here 'tis, "Barbara Ann." Here we go. Briscoe(surfs up)Darling Jr.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25689:
you got me rockin and a rollin, rockin and a reelin, Barbara Ann....

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25690: Ooo, that's my 2nd favorite. Now it really makes me cry........ Junior, could ya jug "Do It Again", my very bestest most favoritist Beach Boys song?
Missed tapin' two perfectly good color eps of TAGS this mornin'! Got caught up emailin' and watchin' "I Love Lucy" on a local channel and plumb lost track of the time. jeez........
"Hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now,hey now, hey now..............."

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25691: Last night wer a hoot at Sarah's. Met lota nice folk. Thanks, MPO for helpin keep track a everyone.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25692: Good Monday to ye!!
Boy, Poor Horatio's sure right about thet slo-mo effect-- my little mishap on a bike is quite embedded in slo-mo-memory... Flying has it's ups an' downs, ya know.
Oh, an'... our Encino Oak was over 1,000 years old-- it was "discovered" by th' Valley's first Euro-settlers 400 yrs ago... but it's firewood now. "What's done's done", I s'pose...
See y'all! ~~~love, Leon
"Oh.. uh, Thelma Lou?"
(turning, anxiously) "Yes, Barney?"
"Next time I'll tell ya about th' assembling an' oiling of a .38 caliber revolver."

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25693: Briscoe, thank ya for juggin' a few verses of "Barbara Ann". Carl Wilson
must be smilin' down from that big 32 Deuce Coupe in the sky. Hey Des, "Do
It Again" is also one of my favorite BB songs. Don't it make your feet move!
Sorry, I'm off the TAGS subject again.
"OK, you two go back to whatever it was you were doin'.
What were you doin'?" - B.Fife
Randy says Hey

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25694: Yep, Randy, it shore do. If you cain't daince to that one, you're dead.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25695: ×

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25696: Hey ~Des~, I'd a be a happy ta' hon. Here 'tis: "Do It Again." Hey Randy says Hey, Yer a welcome. A lot of Musical gifted people have gone to that big stage in the sky lately. Play it a 'purty now fer a little ~Des~ now a boys. Here we go. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25697: Beach Boys Index at (there's a ".zip" file there, too) ~~LL ("I get Around")

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25698: Awww.... Thanks, Junior, that was purty.......

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25699: Leave it ta' Leon ta' save th' day! Thanks little Buddy. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25700: Hey ~Des~, Yer a welcome a hon, anytime. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25701: hey to dud wash,
Iwant to say soory for not introducing my self to you. i am new too and from a new to a new. welcome.
from Helen and Sister nell.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25702: Oh, yeah-- Welcome Home
ta new Nell. Helen's sister, huh? Gotta be purty!

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25703: Hey Helen, what time ya gonna be out t'nite?

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25704: But can she cook?

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25705: Would Nell be Ernest T. Bass' "Aunt-figure"? "I've got an enquiring mind."

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25706: Sure can cook! My specialty is fiddleheads and cornedbeef. YUM! YUM!
Now if you prefer, I got a batch of tripe on the stove right now.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25707: I will check out tonight at 4:30 If I dont see anyone I will be back at 6:30?

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25708: Stop That Nell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25709: he's a little mean, but he makes up for it by being real healthy.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25710: #2 AMBER ALERT!

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25711: somethins going on, I can just smell it.
Oh, that's just the diner. They have corned beef and cabbage on

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25712: Hey to Helen and Nell! Nice to meet ya.
Got yer mail, Leon. Thanks. That Sheriff of our'n is a prince of a guy, he is.
"Homely at the cradle, purty at the table......."

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25713: GOMER; Shazam! We better call the police!
Barney: We are the police!

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25714: If you get killed I don't even want to hear about.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25715: FIDDLEHEADS!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Nell, pass me the fiddleheads, please. Pass 'em now, don't heave 'em!
Milton P. Oliver
"I think I'll let the snails go by"

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25716: i think i'll let the fiddleheads go by. whats a fiddlehead?

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25717: I feel like dancin tonight. Think I will go over to Yancy. Wish I had someone to go with though. Maybe I'll meet someone nice, real nice. Briscoe, buddy, get me in the mood for some slow dancin with "Surfer Girl". MAN IN A HURRY Maybe it will get me to slow down.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25718: MAN IN A HURRY, I'll take a look at yer engine if ya want me to. I'm sure it's a sight to behold.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25719: I'll take you up on it mystery person . I'm 6 ft. 2", I weigh 180, I have a good suntan. I'm ready to dance. But I'm a little rusty on the dancefloor. I need someone who's patient with me. When MAN IN A HURRY says dance, you dance. With my luck Big Maude will be there. She is starting to get to me though. MAN IN A HURRY

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25720: Is anyone gonna try to goto Kinsport, TN to the Meadowview conference center in June?
I hope to be there, in the VIP section.
Mr. Schwump

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25721: Hello porchsters. Leon, Mr. Harmon (that movie producer fellow) says if you look through your hands, you can still see that old tree.
Annabelle and Tom S-I-L-B-Y

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25722: Well fellow porchsters, I think I'll turn in. I had a real wild weekend. I was up at the Y and I bet my head never hit the pillow before 10:00. Leon, I'm workin' on my web page to do a continuing tribute for the Darlings. I hope to have it semi-functional by next week, and fully operational by the end of the month. Also with this big shin-dig goin' on in Kingsport, TN, I hope to have some pictures from there to post in the future. Well, lots o' luck to you and yours and tell Goober hey.
Mr. Schwump

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25723: You really need to go to that old Cascade Club in Toledo
Mrs. Lesh
Don't look back Mrs. Lesh

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25724: goober, you were on a date, not taking medicine!

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25725: "Why don't you ask me what kind of a time I had last night?
OK what kind of a time did you have?

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25726: "Hey" an' "Welcome Home"
ta Tom an' Anabelle Silby-- last time I saw you was... oh, my goodness, Tom! I thought you was...
~~~love, Leon

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25727: Barneys got a girl, I gotta girl, all Gods children got a girl.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25728: Hey MPO. Sorry, but Tuesday is fiddlehead nite. havta wait. Oh, and the snails only serve, you don't eat em.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25729: Hey to the porch!! Welcome to Helen, Nell, and Dud Wash. Whew!! When you miss one night on the porch, you miss a LOT!
Miss Crump

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25730: the snails may serve, but can
they RETURN a serve? that's what
I'd like to know.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25731:
Hi Gang!
It was great to visit last nite, however I had to cut it short due to my Kids, but just wanted to say hey.
I have a technical question: I've gone through three Western Digital Hard Drives on 2 of our PC's- in 3 years, now my 4th hard drive is on the fritz. The WD's are supposed to have a MTBF (mean time between failure) of 30,000 hours. This means you could keep you computer powered on for something like 30 years without failure, you do the math. Do you think I need to invest in Western Digital Stock, or should I buy a Seagate drive instead? I hate to go the Seagate route, due to a worse MTBF rating.
Just wanted your feedback. Also, thanks to all the neighborhood whom helped us tweek the lake near Barney. Check this out: HERE. It's just fun, nothin fancy. Hmmm, how much more bandwidth can I take up.... Hmmm.
I get the bike out in a week or so, thanks for all of your good wishes.
Finally a TAGS QUOTE: "Real Smooth the way you floated that arm out Andy!...You too Helen!"...Goober

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25732: Of course they can RETURN a serve, how else could they volley?

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25733: Go Seagate, Otis©. Definitely Seagate! (heck, I don't know..... has a nice ring to it, tho)
Do me a favor, y'all - go here and lemme know what that rabbit's up to, please. Gracias.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25734: Otis, what kind of bike is it? I ride dirt bikes myself 'cause the wife
won't let me have a Harley. Jeff
"That's a good plan your girl and loose your eye"

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25735: I thought it was only slugs what could volley! Learn somethin' new ever' day.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25736: The rabbit is jumping up and down. Jeff

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25737: Hey to the Porch! I just now got done with all the posts I ain't been here before now to look at (un-mess that a little, and you got yerself a good sen-tence!), but it's good to be back! Hey to Otis© and ~De§~ and Jeff and Miss Crump, and a extry-special "Hey!" to our newcomers, Helen and Nell, and to Annabelle and Tom Silby! Hope I didn't miss no newcomers...

Otis©, that pitcher of the squad car next to Myers Lake is a pitcher no artist could draw! That's OUTSTANDIN'!

Been real busy tonight, hope it settles down after awhile. I'll be around, tho...

*Rafe Hollister
"You wanna get that, Barn? You’re closer." (Andy)

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25738: You shouldn't have that many problems w/your hard drive. It could be another problem
that causes your HD to go (specifically power). Make sure the power going into the
unit is clean (on a surge supressor or better yet a UPS). There could also be a
problem with the units power supply. If its a SCCI drive there could be a controller
problem. We have about 100 PC's at work with WD drives and have yet to loose one
(knock on wood).

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25739: By the way, Otis©... 30,000 hours equals a little less than 3½ years, not 30.

*Rafe Hollister
"You oughta go on the radio and be an all-night disk jockey. At least then I could turn you off!" (Barney)

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25740: Holy Moley!
Thet rabbit knew what card I was thinkin' of-- twice! How'd they do that?! ~~LL

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25741: Well, I did see that, Jeff, but I was wonderin' what the point of the thing is. It must do something kinda neat, cuz a friend mailed it to me and he usually doesn't send lame stuff. If anyone finds out what I'm missin' please lemme know. Thanks for checkin' that, Jeff.
Hey to Rafe!
I'm headed to the hayloft. I'm plumb beat to the socks! G'night, all.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25742: I didn't get it either. See ya all tomorrow. Jeff

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25743: I'm missin' somethin'... What rabbit you folks talkin' about? What'd I miss?

*Rafe Hollister
"Who's she? Who's Malloy?" (Fred Goss)

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25744: Okey dokey, Leon. Can we borry your web tv box?

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25745: Rafe, go to 733 and click.

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25746: Thanks! Goin' there now...


February 9, 1998 - Msg 25747: Des, that danged little rabbit kept eating my card. Wonder what causes that? Briscoe, how 'bout playin the Wallflowers, Angel On My Bike for Otis..........Miss Peg

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25748: Miss Peg, was you able to get it to work? I ain't been able to get there... Keeps timin' out on me. Wonder what causes that?

*Rafe Hollister
"Why would a girl that looked as pretty, and flashy, and big-city as she did, why would a girl like that... want to get involved with a squirt?" (Andy)

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25749: Hi Folks! Hope everyone is safe and sound. We had a dry day here today, the storm should start up again later tonight. How late are you working tonight Rafe? It's still early for me. Like the link De§, those rabbit tricks should keep us night owls busy for a spell. My kids and I were laughing ourselves silly at posts 669 and 671. I love it when someone takes the time to post those, thanks, that was really fun. Well Sara's has been connecting quite a bit faster lately, but you still need to hold on tight! Nice to see more people finding it. We have plans to try and meet Tuesday at 10:30 am PST if anyone wants to come by. So hope to see you later then, ---Hazel

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25750: Hey to Hazel! I'm a night owl, too, so I'll be here till 6:30am in the mornin', CST. You gonna be up all night?

I still cain't get to ~De§~'s rabbit. I wonder if'n it's somethin' akin to a CHAT screen that my FIREWALL won't let me get to... Hmmm. Can it be there's yet another trick my stupid corn-puter won't do?!

*Rafe Hollister
“Final score, Sheriff Andy Taylor 23, Miss Moore 25, A PERFECT SCORE!” (Scrorekeeper)

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25751: That's intense!
I had ol' Judd do th' Rabbit thing, an' it read his mind, too! I 'member goin' ta this place before an' not bein' able ta do what they'd offered then, so I'll bet they have different stuff alla time an' it's hit-er-miss if it'll work fer ever'one.
Want I should link to it on th' "Games" page at th' Chapter Site?

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25752: Rafe, I didn't have trouble one. Go figure. I usually have the hardest time. Me and Steve Case is about to go head to head......Miss Peg
"Andy, if you flew a quail through this room every woman in it would point." (Barn).....Speaking of Barn, those cards are great!

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25753: "Have I got the rythm?" (Ernest T)

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25754: Hey, Hazel, those quotes, along with some more, can be found in Sheriff Frank's Thought For the Day, right here where the Porch is hosted! All you gotta do to get a new quote is mash yer RELOAD button, and VIOLA! Hope you like 'em. I believe Allan Newsome, now of WBMUTBB, transcribed most, if not all, of the quotes found there.

*Rafe Hollister
"I’ll take it in cash." (Frank Myers)

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25755: Hey to Miss Peg! I cain't figger it out. I mean, ~~~Leon and his buddy Judd is able to get to it, and I know that WebTV ain't got CHAT capabilities...

It's gonna prey on my mind till I figger this thang out. Are you all holdin' yer tongues in a special place before ya mash on the link ~De§~ give ya?

*Rafe Hollister
"Tonight we go into “Operation Pickle-Switch”." (Andy)

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25756: Again with th' "Holy Moley"!! Thanks fer mentionin' it, Hazel; thanks fer pointin' out th' "reload" phenomenon, Rafe; thanks havin' it there, Sheriff Frank; an' thanks fer what musta been a lotta work, Allen Newsome!
Now, THAT, I could set a spell with an laugh till I cry... wonder how deep th' well is, huh? ~~LL

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25757: A few months back, I went to the Mrs. Mendlebright's Boardinghouse chat, no one was home, and I checked the room listing, found something that looked nice, and went there. A huge amount of the people chatting were using WebTV. So how come you webbers here on the porch can't stop by Mrs. Mendlebright's? You folks are missed at the nightly get-togethers. oh, and I just returned from "Thought of the day," Love it! Thanks! ---Hazel

February 9, 1998 - Msg 25758: Well, now that I think about that thing, Hazel, I might be wrong about WebTV not bein' Chat-capable (yeah, he can spell CAPABLE, he can't spell FIFE!). It occurs to me that our missing-in-action buddy cooter usedta visit Sarah's ever' now and then. Wonder whatever happened to cooter? ~~~Leon, can you back me up?

*Rafe Hollister
"That’s not enough food to get skinny on!" (Jeff Pruitt)

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25759: Nope, cooter couldn't do Sarah's, either... It ain't "chat" thet we Webbsters is 'lergig ta so much as thet Java stuff... they promised us Java an' been lyin' an' stallin fer over a year. Where's Mrs. Mendelbright's? It might work like Talk City, which Webbsters can do, but it makes me seasick... th' words scrollin' up automatic an' all... makes me woozy... ~~LL
Oh, cooter said he was goin' on a Internet diet an' cut wa-a-a-ay back.

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25760: Mrs. Mendelbright's was easy ta find thru Yahoo, an' it does work fer me... When does folks gather there, an' I'll see if'n I kin do it then. Might just have ta set by th' winder...
Ol' Judd commented, when th' clouds suddenly darkened th' sky-- he's settin' by th' winder, readin' all day-- thet Mrs. Mendelbright must be enforcing th' "40-watt bulb rule"... I about fell out, man... ~~LL

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25761: I feel the same way, ~~~LL. Both times I was able to get to Sarah's (usin' at-home access with the company lap-top), I got cross-eyed tryin' to keep up with the conversation. People would all talk at once, and it was just plain corn-fusin' to me, is what it was. I don't know how some folks do it, goin' there all the time.

*Rafe Hollister
"Barn, I've taken her to the Weenie Burger. I'd like to take her someplace nice." (Andy)

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25762: Oh, gosh, is Sarah's like that-- automatically scrolling, I mean? Talk City recently "dumbed down" to accommodate some deal with WebTv, that's why we can do that. I used ta go to NetCentral, where ya post an' reload, but it wasn't like Mayberry a-tall... ~~LL
(no quote-- this'n's a visual.. th' time Ange pinned th' blankets under th' cot legs then startled Barney awake..)

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25763: Otis, all I saw was a gray box. It was a goood lookin gray box, though.

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25764: One Christmas, I got a box with two batteries. It said, 'Toy not included'. - George (Goober) Lindsey, speaking in the Alabama Statehouse on growing up poor

I thought that'n was good!

*Rafe Hollister
"We don’t appreciate bein’ called squirts." (Andy)

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25765: This just in:

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for sixteen hardened criminals.

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25766: I got a question for my buds to ponder before I leave for home...

We's all familiar with Barn's quote of Andy whilst he was testifyin' at Andy's trial in Andy on Trial: "When you're a lawman and you're dealin' with people, you do a whole lot better if you go not so much by the book - but by the heart."

My question is, is Andy ever shown sayin' that in an episode? Or is Barney's quote of Andy all we have to work with? Anybody know which episode Andy said it in (if he said it, that is)?

*Rafe Hollister
"Ever'body sure is in a jaw-kissin' mood today." (Andy)

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25767: I have a thought of the day from my dog (It's a Begal)
"Rember to roll over and look at life from a new Perspective"

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25768: Hey to Helen! I'm takin' off now, but it's nice to see somebody else is up at this time'a day! You have a good'n, now, y'hear?

*Rafe Hollister
"Where is he, anyhow, settin' fire to City Hall?" (Andy)

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25769: Hey Rafe...I know you're gone but, Ange taught Barney that lesson more by example than through words...He did give Barney those respect-the man/the badge talks in the shows with Fred Plummer and the truck farmers (Alan Melville was sure a burr in Barn's wool). Then he pretty much said things along those lines when Barney was up for sherrif of Greendale... And then the show where Barn brings up the official malfeseance. And there's another...brain's on hold today...can't think about the important stuff like TAGS...gotta do work. "Nines! Nines! Why's everbody wanna do nines?!"JP

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25770: Golly! I need to hit the hay early more often! Looky at all these cool posts waitin' for me this mornin'! Jokes and ever'thang.
Helen, them beagles is cute dawgs. If I get me another dawggie I'm getting either a beagle or a poodle (if it's an indoors dawg, cuzza poodles not sheddin' and all; they're 'sposed to be only one of two dawgs what don't shed cuzza they got wool - anyone know the other one? Puli maybe?) Anyways.......
"...toy not included....." hahaha~ I lol!! Good'n, George. Thanks for postin' it, Rafe.
I don't recall ever seein' Andy sayin' that " the heart..." quote live and in person. We'll just hafta take Barney's word for it, I guess.
I'm familiar with Say-ruh's, but I don't know nothin' 'bout that Mrs. Mendelbright's. Is that like Say-ruh's? I gotta hold off on that Java chat till I get me a better comp. The lag's a killer. That mIRC thang Otis© conjured up got me spoiled...... there ain't much that do work with this thang, and when I find somethin' that will, I get excited. 'Course I ain't even been there in awhile. Leon and Rafe, if fast chat ain't your cup of tea, forget mIRC! (hey - I rhymed.....) It'll pull yer eyeballs outta yer head. Plus there's always some smart-aleck doin' all them pop-ups, with the colors, and passin' 'round candy. Oh, it's a sight.
It's raining and cloudy here today. It's not cold, but shore is nasty out. Hope y'all are havin' a nice Mayberry kinda day!
Junior, how's about "Child of the Moon", by the Stones? Ain't heard that one since I had its A-side on a turntable ("Jumpin' Jack Flash"), and that's been eons. Play it purty, now....
Sorry for the long one, y'all.

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25771: G'mornin' all. Hey MAN IN A HURRY, Here 'tis, "Surfer Girl." Fer my Bud ~Des~, "Child of the Moon." Double shot! Welcome ta' Nell. Here we go. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25772: Oh by th' way......It's my Birthday. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25773: FONT SIZE=4>HAPPY BIRTHDAYJUNIOR!!!!!!!

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25774: Strange........mighty strange........ Oh well, you get the idee, Junior!

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25775: "Hello Sarah, Has there been any calls for me about my Birthday?" (Otis) Too good to pass up. Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25776: Hey ~Des~ "Oooooh....Somebody remembered my Birthday." (Otis) Thanks hon, coming from you I wouldn't expect anything else. Hahahaha! Briscoe Darling Jr.

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25777: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRISCOE!!!!! Maybe Des will kindly scrub one off for you? Hey Des how 'bout the Beatles? I like their version of Happy B-day............Miss Peg

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25778: Happy Birthday Junior! Are Charlene and the boys gonna grace you with a party. Got a hootowl to spare for you if they've learned not to waste it.JP

February 10, 1998 - Msg 25779: Hey Miss Peg, Thank ya' hon. ~Des~ playin' me a song! :-) This I gotta here! Briscoe Darling Jr.