The Taylors' Front Porch

Pull up a chair! Have a sit-down an' shoot the breeze with us. Later on, maybe we'll go down to the drugstore to get a sody. . . maybe see what's showin' at the pitcher house. . . . What you gonna do tonight, Barn?

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2459: Has anybody seen that tramp Idell Bushy? She's been lookin' at Dud agin'. I gotta do a incant.
Charlene Darlin

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2460: oooh, Miss Charlene,
you shore are a pleasin' sight, as always!
Miss Andelina, I told ya th' answers wasn't so carefully researched.. but, ya done good, sis! I was hopin' fer th' "1,B,3" quote (I don't 'member th' whole thing right off)
since th' other new kids ain't a-spoke up yet, let's jes' give 'em th' other answers--
What are the rules?
How much was Aunt Bee's tax bill?
What was the squad car's licence number?
How much did th' clanking lady weigh?
Bonus; any phone number (in a quote)?
watchin' "Shakiest Gun in the West". absolute genius! ~~LL (24th anniversary as the waxxman)

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2461: Rule number 1 obey all rules, rule number 2 no writing on the walls as it is very hard to remove the writing form the walls.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2462: Sarah give me 142R and put this right through, this is a trouble check.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2463: $1138.72 JL327, 163 pounds.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2464: Anybody seen Miss Ellie lately? Where is that lady druggist, anyway? We miss her! And besides, I'm needing my pills.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2465: Lydia, I aint seen her either. You better ask Miss Emma for a few pills to tide you over for now.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2466: Hey to Otis © and Lydia.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2467: Missed talking on the porch lately. Been plumb busy. I think I found an error in one of the episodes. Where Andy invites Miss Ellie to the church social - but claims she's after him. At first he invites her to a "picnic" then turns around and says its a "church dance." Anybody else notice that but me? ch

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2468: ch, those two didn't know where they were goin!

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2469: Happy Cinco de Mayo!

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2470: Good addernoon, porchsters. Shore is nice and warm and sunny here today. Butcha know what? It'll prob'ley rain again. Always does. I wonder what causes that? Sure gonna be quiet without ol' Emmett around, whilst his pooter is in the shop. ch, I didn't think Andy was making direct reference to a church daince, but more of an allegory that he was afraid she was gettin ready to fix to gonna kinda sorta sneak that daince in on him, and WHAM, hooked like a starving catfish. Just my thoughts.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2471: pretty soon you'll be changing the card on your mailbox to read "Mr. and Mrs. Andy Taylor"

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2472: Does anyone know how many time Andy said Yeah Boy!©

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2473: That cuts me...deep.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2474: 1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite.
3. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses, which no one in Greece
has memorized.
4. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
5. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
6. The shark is the only fish that can blink both eyes.
7. There are more chickens in the world than people.
8. Two thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
9. The longest one syllable word in the English language is screeched.
10. On the Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament
Building is the American flag.
11. All the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" read 4:20
12. No word in the English language rhymes with orange, purple, silver,
and month.
13. Dreamt is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".
14. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on
the back of a 5 dollar bill.
15. Almonds are a member of the peach family.
16. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies rest room during a dance.
17. Maine is the only state whose name has one syllable.
18. There are only four words in our language that end in "dous".
Tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
19. Los Angelels' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de
Los Angeles.
20. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
21. An ostrich's eye is larger than it's brain.
22. Tigers have striped skin as well as striped fur.
23. In most ads, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is
24. Al Capone's business card said he was in the used furniture
25. When the University of Nebraska's Cornhuskers play at home, the
stadium becomes Nebraska's third largest city.
26. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert
the cop and Ernie the taxi driver from "It's a Wonderful Life".
27. A dragon fly has a life span of 24 hours.
28. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.
29. A dime has 118 ridges around the rim.
30. On an American one dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper
left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider in the
upper right-hand corner.
31. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. Don't try this at
32. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
33. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
34. The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the
creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N and O-Z,
hence "Oz".
35. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by radar tube
and a chocolate bar in his pocket melted.
36. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
37. John Lennon's first girl friend was named Thelma Pickles.
38. The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes.
39. There are 336 dimples on a golf ball.
40. Stewardesses is the longest word that is typed with only the left

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2475: Trivia time! Who is Steve Bollander? Hint, not necessarily TAGS Related...Otis©

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2476: Hoooo, Hoooooooo?

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2477: Chick-a-chee, chick-a-chee

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2478: Va va va voooooom

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2479: gorDItas,gorDItas,tacos make us free
happy stinko de mayo

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2480: Juanita you must be reading that same magazine that Barney read that article in: Odd Facts Known By Few (a horse's eye is the same size at birth as when he is fully grown.) Now if I can just figure a way to drop these facts into a casual conversation I've got it made. But I don't believe the goldfish one. If that's the case why do they come over to the glass when they see you getting the food?

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2481: Learn-a-Month magazine

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2482: re: 453 -- Naw, Barney, that wasn't what I had in mind. That wasn't what I had in mind a-TAAAAAALLLLL.
Best of luck to you and yours.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2483: Andy, I FORBID you to see that girl again!

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2484: Have you girls on the Front Porch ever thought about getting up a girls softball team?

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2485: The title for the event was "Church picnic and dance". I expect folks knew what you were talking about if you abbreviated it to "Church dance" or "Church picnic". It obviously wasn't a Nazarene Church. ;)

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2486: to 2484, I think they could be sponsered by the Lady's Historical Society!

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2487: Steve Bollander, Steve Bollander... nope.. can't place him.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2488: Has anyone ever noticed that Julia Childs looks a lot like Hal Smith, aka Otis Campbell?

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2489: HA HA HA ! Otis, you're very observant!

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2490: Otis how do you know they ain't the same person, have you or any one else here ever see both of them at the same time?

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2491: You know they are doing things with ESP now day like two people on differant hill tops miles apart thinking the same thing at the same time.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2492: to msg 2490: Nope, I never have, actually, I've never seen Michael and LaToya Jackson in the same room either.
I gotta go cut the yard, and to steal a quote from a friend:
"Mayberry says Thanks, and Happy Mowing!"

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2493: To steal another quote from some one I think very high of, Otis your a prince, a real prince.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2494: Did you ever see that lamp?? Then don't talk.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2495: Evenin' to the porch! We've got blue skies here this evening. Perfect weather for a softball game. The guys I work with got themselves up a softball team and tonight's their first game. Flora and I get to sit in the stands and cheer, I reckon. I'll ditto Msg 2493, Otis IS a real prince. Lydia, I'll be glad to share my pills with you till Miss Ellie gets back. I sure do miss her lately. --Emma

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2496: Hullo
Just wanted to say hi and add my two cents.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2497: Hey I know this one. Steve Bollander was Ron Howard's character in American Graffiti (I think). "Where were you in '62?" Bobby the Beast.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2498: TRIVIA QUESTION
How many members of the Darling family are mentioned? This doesn't include Dud Wash, who married into the family.
Mr. Schwump
The Darling's Tribute Page

"Giraffe's are so selfish."

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2499: Bobby the Beast one this one!
Good job Bobby!

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2500: one=Won,
sorry I always skipped typing class Bobby!

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2501: HEy kids....Juanita here...Can anyone tell me another ep where we can find MERLE DEAN? I saw him, I saw him! And he had lines!! Juanita

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2502: Mr. Schwump, all of them were mentioned? That was easy, uh to clear that one up, 4 boyz, the gerl, and the Pa, Make that 6.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2503: mebbe.. in th' Mayor's office, sayin', "Hear, hear!", durin' th' meetin' where they decided to add a beauty pageant to th' Founders' Day festivities... mebbe?
hey, glad ta see them quizzie trivialities answered-- I figgerred them was all pretty basic stuff, huh?
got a ride to Miz Bishop's an' picked up all kindsa tapes-- we'll be in black & white heaven for weeks!
~~~love, Leon
OH! "Hey" ta Jeannine!

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2504: No not that guy...but speaking of the 'hear hear' guy...which ep did we see him in before? Juanita

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2505: Well, the ballgame's over. Our team lost but they sure had a loud cheering section. Boy, that Flora...what a mouth! haha JUST KIDDING FLORA!! And way to go Bobby on that trivia question!! That one was a real stumper. You must have an incredible memory. --Emma

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2506: If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him, and married Jerry
Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2507: Hello Porchsters! Gosh, it feels mighty nice to be missed. I was
off line for a while and I have been here a few times and read but
not posted. Emma, Lydia, here are you two some pills...@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@. Let me know if you need some more.
I make home deliveries when Uncle Fred watches the drugstore for me.
Now Andy just got paranoid about me chasing after him. He won`t
ready to get married, but what he didn`t realize is neither was I.
"Right now I`m on the trail of a babboon."
Miss Lydia I am sorry to hear you might have to go through more
surgery. My prayers will be with you.
I miss everyone going to Sarah`s everynight. I got into going
there instead of coming here, but I guess I`ll have to visit here
more often since no one chats much.
Also, I don`t stay on the computer as much as I did, as my neck
and shoulder were hurting me a lot, but when my computer was ailing
for 2 weeks (couldn`t even turn it on), my neck and shoulder got
much better, so I have to restrict my time on here to keep it from
flaring up.
God bless you all. I might not visit much, but I love you folks.
Miss Ellie

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2508: Hey to the Porch,
As Miss Emma stated earlier, we had a grand time at the ballgame
tonight. We cheered but our boys lost, oh well what can you expect
from a team that's called the "Pole Cats".
your healthy girl,

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2509:
Wonderful to see you, Miss Ellie !!!!

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2510: Miss Ellie!! Welcome back and thanks for those pills! You're a sight for sore eyes. I was over at Sarah's earlier tonight but I was there by myself. It was so empty in there I could hear my own echo like Gomer under that bucket. Hey to Flora! Yep, we lost to the Pole Cats! Wouldn't you know their name would be Pole Cats?! --Emma

May 5, 1998 - Msg 2511:
  • Hey to Miss Ellie, great to see ya back!
  • Hey to Flora, give em a life-saver!
  • Hey to Emma, sorry I stole your quote!
  • Hey to everyone elst, I'm lookin for a TAGS quote with references to lightening. Can ya'll think of one?
  • Peace to Rafe, get back here Mister!
  • Oh, Sherrif Frank, we could use a sweep! Anyone called the Man?

    May 5, 1998 - Msg 2512: That's what those selfish giraffes do you know. Runnin' around gettin' struck by lightning. Now dogs..well they're close to the ground and they take care of their own. But giraffes...boy, giraffes are selfish! That's not a verbatim quote but it's about lightning. Otis--SNOOP! QUOTESNATCHER!! Naww..I didn't think you stole anything from me. I agree, it's time to call the man! "Hey Sarah, get me Thelma Lou...HEY SARAH GUESS WHAT!!" --Emma

    May 5, 1998 - Msg 2513: What?

    May 5, 1998 - Msg 2514: you keep up like thet, Sherrif Frank, an' they'll start callin' you "Miss Luncheon Tray"

    May 5, 1998 - Msg 2515: Hello...Frank? Wow! Now THAT'S Porch maintenance! --Emma

    May 5, 1998 - Msg 2516: Hey, Emma, I peeked in over at Sarah's and all I heard was a squeeky little voice singin' "Santa Lucia". Bobby the Beast.

    May 5, 1998 - Msg 2517: .
    There once was a fellow named Frank,
    Who sometimes we forget to thank.
    He was never caught sleepin'
    When the porch needed sweepin',
    Now we've a hundred more spaces that's blank.
    Thank you very much.

    May 5, 1998 - Msg 2518: .
    There once was a fellow named Frank,
    Who sometimes we forget to thank.
    He was never caught sleepin'
    When the porch needed sweepin',
    Now we've a hundred more spaces that's blank.
    Thank you very much.

    May 5, 1998 - Msg 2519: Hey how did I do that twice? I swear I only typed it once. Virus?

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2520: Andelina, sounds like your computer has double postpneumonia.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2521: Fine Citizens of Mayberry:

    Well, took a few days of vacation. Kind of wore myself out battlin' with the IRS, fixin' that Bosnia problem, and just keeping this fine city in tip tip condition. Spent the days laying another 8 tons of stonewall at home. Been re-creating a little New England in Minnesota. Gardens sure look good - but we could use rain.

    Mayor Pike

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2522: Otis--Now I'm not sure about this, but remember when Barney decided to use that dog as a police dog? Was the dog's name "Lightnin'"? Maybe I made this up in my subconscious, I don't know. I suppose a quote would be "Come here Lightnin, here boy." but again I may be wrong.It has happenend before.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2523: Welcome back Miss Ellie! It's true that you were sorely missed and not just for your pills, either.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2524: Andelina I thank his name was Blue.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2525: Rats. You're right, Msg 2524 And one day soon I'm going to figure out how to do letters in color. Thanks.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2526: Andelina where I use parenthesis you use greater and lesser than symbol or on my computer it is the Shift and , key and then the Shift and . key (font size=2 color=blue) Blue(/font) and it will come out like THIS, but never forget the(/font).

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2527: (font size= 2 color = blue) Blue (/font) HUH????

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2528: What you fail to realize is that you are dealing with a computer boob.Are you saying that if I want something to print RED I type:
    Red Okay I'm game. Here goes.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2529: Whoever you are, you are my hero!!!! Hot dog!!! I am now living in a technicolor world. Bless your heart. I thank you form the bottom of my Crayola box. Thankee, thankee, thankee, mysterious stranger.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2530: "A penny struck by lightenin is worth six cents." ~ Johnny Paul Jason
    Anybody got any ideas about the two (very good) questions I axed earlier?
     1. Name the second ep where Merle Dean was seen (I saw him I saw him, and he had lines and everthang)
     2. Which other ep did we see the feller that said "Here, Here" ??
    (*I have a third question, but I am waiting until these get answered)

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2531: That's what us big he men are here for Andelina is to take care of you all of the fairer sex and be your protector.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2532: Merle Dean was the one who had fourty dollars worth of damage to his truck by Malcom Merriweather and the Here here guy was also Wally in the Man in a Hurry.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2533:
    1. Nope
    2. Yep
    Try'er again.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2534: Juanita I can't see in my minds eye what Merle Dean looked like. Was he the one that Barney arrested with old Jud for disturbing the peace while playing checkers?

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2535:
    Wrong, Wrong, Wrong (hehehehe) He is the feller that was jumping up and down on his bumber (It's yer shocks) in the ep where Gomer was a houseguest. Looks like Dean Martin w/ a hat. ha ha (where is De§ today?) Here's a great big "Hey, Howareya" going out to Miss Ellie (meow) and Emma (@@) Juanita

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2536: Andelina I ain't never been any bodys hero before and you are more than welcome, can I be the wind beneath your wings also? Mysterious Stranger

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2537: Well you are mine and you already are the wind beneath my wings. And I promise not to abuse or misuse this new power you have given me.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2538: I found the neatest site! It gives a list of those pesky LOL and ROTFLMAO (I do hate being the last to know!) So go to this page and enjoy!
    (Hey to Andelina!)

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2539: Juanita you wasn't the last to know because I was and thanks for the site.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2540: I think the guy with $40.00 worth of damage was Fletch,

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2541: Rafe, I'll swap you a jar of Miss Johnson's pickles if you'll e-mail me the answers to Juanita's trivia questions! forward slash..forward slash..winking..---Hazel

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2542: I think the guy with $40.00 worth of damage was Fletch,

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2543: Yes but not the same Fletch that was run off the road by Bill Bixby and that is why I can't picture him, they changed people around.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2544: Juanita....sweet, lovely Juanit'-----Nat Pike was the one who thunk a penny hit by lightnin' was worth six cents. 'Least I believe it was.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2545: welcome to th' color episodes, Andelina! ya kin get italics by usin' an "(i)", an' bold by usin' a "(b)". ta share a cool webpage, go like this: (a href="")Porch Chapter HTML Workshop(/a) has a few things, but there are lots of great tutorials out there.
    just always be sure an' "turn off" with a "/" anything ya "turn on," or that command will stay "on" till someone turns it off.
    ~~~not yer Mysterious Stranger-- some other guy.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2546: TUSCARORA!
    "Will you quit arrestin' him?"
    "Hey" ta Mister Dave! (oh, he'll be by, by an' by) ~~LL

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2547: That YELLER didn't show up to good there ~~LL.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2548: I had to check back to see if'n I had signed recently. Posted some, but didn't sign. Reckon Leon knows I'm always lurking around.
    Mister Dave

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2549: has ta be some explanation fer all them missing pies an' such... b'sides, kids an' dawgs know 'bout thangs thet adults don't see right off.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2550: Mister Dave, not that there's anything wrong with that...

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2551: Okay Leon, I'm gonna try this.....stand by to turn it off if it don't work, okay?

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2552: I'm EPT?

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2553: it still blue?

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2554: Happy Nurse's Day to anybody out there who's a nurse! It takes a special person to be a good nurse and I appreciate you all. My Mom was a good nurse...we didn't pay her for it but I never heard her complain. --Emma

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2555: So happy to see Miss Ellie checking in. Hope everyone is having a Mayberry kind of day. Best of luck to you and yours.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2556: Has anybody seen those little tiny Mr. Potato Heads that you can buy now? I found them at Cracker Barrel and they make a nice little desk or pc ornament. They're about 3 inches tall and cost about $1.99. They've got candy inside but you wouldn't want to buy it for the candy. The candy's not worth a nickel but the Mr. Potato Head is great! Mine's standing here lookin' right at me. --Emma
    "I'll take the Mr. Potato Set."

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2557: Oooooh, I'm feeling better already. I think I'll eat something. Hand me that fried chicken, will you Barney?
    Hey Miss Emma! Hey to the porch
    Milton P. Oliver

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2558: Welcome back, Emmett!


    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2559: Hey to MPO!

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2560: "I'll be right in there with ya, daddy, in case the evening starts to lag."

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2561: Hey to Milton P. Oliver! And hey to **Barn! And welcome back EMMETT! Does anybody know what it is that makes perfectly good clothes shrink when all they're doing is hanging in a closet or laying folded up in a drawer?! I wonder what causes that? To steal a quote from a friend...hardy har har. --Emma

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2562: .
    To Emma--Generally I've found that too many chocolate chip cookies may clothes shrink when they're not doing anything. Also those Mr. Potatoheads (and Mrs. Potatohead) are available on the internet. I saw them last night. If I can remember where I'll post the address.
    To "some other guy", Thanks for the extra info. Looks we are all ept, now.
    To Barn--Are you tryin' to make our newfound skills look trivial? Criminy I thought we were cookin' with gas and now you show us THAT. That's okay, you can't break my spirit. I can make blue and I'm proud.
    You got skills, boy.
    Hope everyone had a lovely day. Have a great evening.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2563: Okay, I found it. The Wind up Toy Co
    I think you click on "cool stuff" first, then they show a list of types of toys (not all wind-up by the way) . For Msg 823, there is a Lost in Space robot keychain in there too.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2564: Hey, y'all! Back from the islands...... whewww........ wunnerful to be back.
    No one should have to endure what I've had to endure the past 5 days - sunny beaches, moonlight glistening off the palm trees at night, steak, lobster, stone crab and shrimp and funky-colored drinks with leetle umbrellas in 'em.... dining under the stars with warm tradewinds flickering the candles, midnight dips in the hot tub, walking the island early in the morning, photographing the gingerbread houses with bouganvilleas climbing white picket fences, swimming the North Caribbean shores and........ SHOPPING!! Oh, it was rough.
    I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it was returning to the screaming kids, a hunnert emails from people I've never heard of and a mailbox full of utility bills. Jeez, if I ever make noise about takin' off to some other tropical locale I hope y'all kick me in the pants.
    Seriously, great to be back, and I had a great time readin' all the posts.
    Now back to your regularly scheduled programming................

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2565: Des, bless your heart. How could you stand that for 5 whole days?! Good to see you back girl! Andelina, you're alot of fun here, too! You say chocolate chip cookies make clothes shrink?...maybe I should just stick with the peanut butter ones then. haha I'm proud of you for making blue words too. I'm still afraid to try. --Emma

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2566: Otis,
    You've got some of them, but you are still missing some. Can anyone help?

    Again the question is, "How many Darling family members are there, (not including Dud Wash)?
    Mr. Schwump

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2567: Hey to Emma.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2568: MERLE DEAN says "Hey"
    I haven't been here in awhile...personal matters....sometimes your works just got come before family.
    I love the MERLE DEAN question...thanks J. and thanks for the ICQ ! I needed that.
    Hope everyone is well.
    gotta run but I'll be back.
    "Don't do that MERLE!'
    J. I have to ask...have you never seen that episode with my names sake before ? did it make ya SMILE ? everytime I hear one of your'alls names I smile

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2569: Missing Darlings: Jed and Carl Darling, whose argument over the reality of Santa Claus Andy had to break up.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2570: Hey to the porch. I feel inept... I am still trying to figure out those directions for color. Andelina, since mysterious stranger told you, how 'bout you telling me in words that I can understand. Oh, maybe I'll just go back and read those directions again and try it for myself. No laughing if something strange happens. Teachers need to be taught too.
    Emma, I am afraid to try too, and that's the truth. Funny, I tell the kids not to be scared to try, and now my words are coming back to haunt me.
    Miss Ellie, glad to see you back. I have been to Sarah's several times and no one has been there. Oh, well, I shall try again.
    Oh and BTW, another holiday to celebrate: Teacher Appreciation Week. Yep, it's the whole week!!!
    Have a Mayberry Day (what's left of it)
    Miss Crump

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2571: OK, good guess. I was also looking for Little Andelina. (Could be an argument here, because she is a Darling, but her last name would be Wash).
    Also, Briscoe's wife is mentioned, not by name though. So, if you count all of 'em up, there's 10.
    Mr. Schwump

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2572:
    "You look just like yer maw." (Briscoe)

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2573: Hey Juanita, I just saw your "Hey" to me on Msg 2538. "Hey" backatcha. Good site, too. Gonna print it out and keep it handy.
    Miss Crump: I'll try: Let's say you want to type "I LOVE YOU" with the "LOVE" in red and the "I" and "YOU" in black. There are symbols on the keyboard < > which are command keys, I guess. To give you instructions and actually use them, wouldn't work because it would give the computer commands. So when mysterious stranger gave me directions, he used the parentheses keys in place of the < keys. So when you type the commands, type a < or the other one instead of the ( or ). So here we go. Type the following:
    I (font size=2 color=red)LOVE(/font)YOU which will read as
    Now my greatest hope is that this works and I don't look like a boob.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2574: It worked just fine, Andelina. You done a REAL good job. Now, you don't hafta use the "size=" parm with font if'n you don't want to, so if you type "I <font color=red>love</font> you", it'll come out with the "love" the same size as the other words, like this: I love you.

    I think you oughta try a BOLD command now, whatayathink?

    *Rafe Hollister
    ANDY: “Then if you’re feelin’ real bold, you give her hand a little kissee.”
    JEFF: “That’s BOLD?”

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2575: Do a search for Andy Griffith at at this site: (a href="")

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2576: At least the FIRST part worked!

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2577: Hey to the Porch! It's good to see everyone back in the saddle! Merle, I know about THAT ep (yer a nut, you know that?) I mean a whole nuther ep where I saw (and heard) Merle Dean..only his name wasnt mentioned and 'he werent from around here'....keep guessing!
    Desssssss....welcome home!!!! We thought you done run off with Briscoe Jr. ha ha
    Juanita ps...hey Emmett!

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2578: I know, J, but I ain't a-gonna say! ;-)

    *Rafe Hollister
    "Mayberry says ‘Thanks and happy motoring!’" (Barney)

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2579: HEY to the PORCH . My 1960 Who's WHO in TV says TAGS was named BEST SITUATION COMEDY inthe 60-61 season . Not bad for their 1st year GILLY WALKER

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2580: Miss Emma, I know for a fact that El Niño makes clothes shrink in the drawer! ---Hazel

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2581: Spill it, Hazel! ;-)

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2582: You're right, Gilly! Not bad atall.
    Thanks, Emma and 'Neeter. Glad to be back. I thought about all y'all more than once while I was down there. 'Specially when I walked by "Floyd's Barber Shop" on Petronia St.!! Had to take a picture of that.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2583: 4 eye-talics in 7 sen-tences. Crazy - don't know what I was thinkin'.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2584: Boojum here. Haven't been here in a while 'cause my puter crashed a while back..but I'm alive now. The fella who said "hear, hear" was in a few other episodes as other characters too...namely he was Cal in "The Manhunt"...Barney stopped him at his roadblock, and he was also in "Andy the Marriage Counselor" as the fella who was palying cards at the Boones who "got the pitcher of water" thrown at him. There are more. Anyway gotta run. I must try that color thing sometime...looks neat.
    Boojum Snark

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2585: Emma--don't be afraid. 'cause I'm gonna try the bold command that "some other guy" (and I know who he is) gave me. I'm not so sure on this, but here goes.
    The stranger wasn't a livin' bein. He was somehthing from the supernatural world.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2586: Fooey.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2587:

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2588: Okay so I failed at turning it off but I think it's off now.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2589: Y'done it, Andelina! Looks mighty purty, too.
    G'night, all.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2590: That was GOOD, Andelina! You're gettin' more'n'more EPT right before our very eyes!

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2591: Thank you, thank you very much.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2592: Elvis?

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2593: Evenin' everybody! (Or is it mornin'?) This is my single night off, so am up pretty late. Emma, thanks for the Nurses' Day salute. Am I the only nurse on the porch? Anybody else? De§, I'm sure glad you survived that terrible five days. Sounds just awful! Good to have you back.
    All of you ept people are makin' me feel bad, so in retaliation, I'm gonna practice a few things here. Hang on....ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE. I love this porch, How about you?. Now, to post and see what I got....--Romeena

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2594: Hooray! I may not be fully ept yet, but am getting epter! Thanks to Rafe for guidance previously given, and to Otis for the same, months ago. Just been too chicken to try it. Question -- will this work in e-mails? My AOL connection has little icons that let you customize e-mail, but Netscape/Internet America does not. Maybe I'll just send an e-mail to myself and find out.
    Am also curious about what colors are available? Let's see -- yellow, orange, purple, brown, pink, black (heehee), (just funnin'). Okay, here goes...--Romeena

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2595: Oh, I left one out. White . Should show up on our gray background. At least mine's gray, is everybody's? OK, I've bored everyone enough, will sign off now.--Romeena

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2596: (font color=purple)purple?(/font)

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2597: purple?

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2598: that's better!

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2599: Romeena, the porch is white for me, a couple months back it was grey.

    Rafe! I told you a little fib. Those aren't Miss Johnson's pickles, they're Aunt Bee's kerosene cucumbers! I saw Barney passing them out to folks out on the highway. There was this car in front of us that had this fella that was going home to Portland Oregon, and do you know what? He looked exactly like Merle Dean!! ---Hazel

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2600: Romeena--
    1. You are the eptest. And I mean it.
    B. My porch was white until Newton Monroe painted it, then it was a real mess. Now it is kind of a soft green.(AT&T/Microsft Internet Explorer)
    Des -- Next time can I be your chauffeur?
    Good night Mrs. Bendelmight, wherever you are.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2601: Put an "R" in there.

    May 6, 1998 - Msg 2602: I'm a-chompin' on those Kerosene Cucumbers as we speak, Hazel! LOL!! Gee, a feller that looked exactly like MERLE DEAN, huh? Wonder what that could mean? ;-) I sure miss the chat! ;-)

    Romeena, you're plum welcome for the previous help, and it's good to see you puttin' yer learnin' to good use! You're a outSTANDIN' human famale bein' you know that?

    *Rafe Hollister
    "Tonight we go into ‘Operation Pickle-Switch’." (Andy)

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2603: Okay, boys & girls & rabbits & squirrels: Are you ready for The Seinfeld Aptitude Test? It’s a toughie! The test is made up of 25 multiple-guess trivia questions dealing with Seinfeld, and ONLY DIE-HARD FANS NEED APPLY! I scored 14 outta 25 (LOUSY, in other words), and I’m a FAN! Give it a try, if you dare!

    Good luck! ("Yada, yada, yada...")

    We now return you to originally scheduled programming, already in progress...

    *Rafe Hollister
    OPIE: “Paw, is ‘heads’ chicken or pot roast?”
    ANDY: “Pot roast.”
    OPIE: “Then we’re havin’ chicken!”

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2604: Romeena, regardin' whether or not you can do the crazy colors and fonts in your email messages, it all depends on whether your email service supports "HTML TAGS" (that's what they're called - TAGS!). Your email "send" screen should have an option for "include HTML tags" or somesuch. If you don't select that option, your HTML instructions will be printed out RIGHT THERE IN THE NOTE, and it won't look right aTALL. Also, most email services that support HTML tags will have a "preview" function that will allow you to LOOK AT THE RESULTS of your HTML before you send the note out with possible errors. COOL!

    *Rafe Hollister
    "Let me tell you, gravy is NO JOKE." (Fred Goss)

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2605: Welcome back lucky dawg..
    Emma, are you comin' with me or not?......
    to get them dogs...
    are you comin' with me??

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2606:
    Frank don't mind the colors, for they never do stink
    the only thing he hates, is when we decide to blink----
    (oh yea and makin the fonts big. that's always an pestilence. enjoy!)

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2607: For the porch we'd never want destruction,
    Thank you kindly for the instruction.

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2608: .
    We're poets
    We know it
    Hope we don't blow it.
    Stolen from Bob Dylan c. 1964

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2609: A. The way I always said it was
    I'm a poet
    Don't know it
    Got sense
    Don't show it.
    Mysterious Stranger

    Hey Rafe I done Bold!
    And italics
    Also I went to the Seinfeld test. I got 20 of 25 but to tell you the truth I was guessin' at some of them. Good test. They also have a little message board like this one, but only on message 66 or so. Maybe it'll gather momentum and get as good as The Porch. Gotta check if my email includes html tags. If not, I'm changin' it. Too much fun. Boy, comin' here is as good as goin' to a trade school. Learnin', learnin', learnin'.

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2611: Or-
    I'm a poet
    My feet show it
    They're such Longellows.
    Mornin' hero.

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2612: Fooey. I missed the "f" key.

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2613: Good Morning Andelina. Your Hero

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2614: Hello all. I'm back! Hey **Barn, Thanks fer th' cool card! Hey Leon, Thanks fer a doin' a GREAT job in my place. How is a everyone? Welcome ta' all th' newcomers. Time ta' a play a: "Doug's Tune." Here we go.
    Briscoe(glad ta' be back)Darling Jr.

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2615: Does anyone have ideas for games to play with family for my Dad's 80th surprise birthday/family reunion party?
    There will be 20 of us. All ages. Any help will be greatly appreciated. I'd like to get to some www links if you know of any!
    *Rafe: email me the answer to my Trivia! (does he rrrrreeeeally know?)ha ha

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2616: This place is more of a bore today than it was last week.

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2617: Well why do you keep comin' back?

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2618: Because, this porch used to be like Mayberry. A fun place to visit!

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2619: Mornin' Juanita--There's always the one where, at the beginning of the party, you stick a little paper on each person's back with the name of a famous person, living or dead, fictional or real, on it. Throughout the party he or she can ask questions about that person --- until he can figure it out. There is no real end to the game, because each person discovers his person at a different time, but it makes the finding fun. I think there is a name for this game, but I don't know it.. You could stick with a theme too--all TAGS names, all literary characters, all sports figures, etc. The ones I remember most were Mother Nature, Oscar Mayer, and Cliff Claven.
    Also, it is sometimes interesting to ask some questions from "The Book of Questions", but some of them are a bit heavy. It can be interesting though.
    And there's always Twister and pinatas.

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2620: I agree and I loved the way it used to be but it has changed, the last time we posted a bunch of quotes some bozo jumped on us so I just go with the flow now.

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2621: I agree 3. This place has become a color episode!
    Colonel Harvey

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2622: You tell em Colonel Harvey!
    Deputy Barney Fife

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2623: Birthday party ideas. Come on!!!!
    3, Colonel Harvey, Deputy Barney Fife
    Ya know Andy I just might buy this car!

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2624: I think Msg 2616 is Ben Weaver. He kept complainin' too, but you couldn't get rid of him. Mebbe he just wants to be welcomed into the bosom of our horts. Welcome 2616. Pull up a chair. You ain't comin' here by accident. "He drew a circle and shut me out, heretic rebel a thing to flout. But love and I had the wit to win. We drew a circle and took him in."

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2625: This is not the Hallmark help line!

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2626: Mornin' to the porch! Miss Crump, I didn't mean to leave out Happy Teachers Week. Happy Teachers Week to all you teachers! Jelsik, I knew your heart was in the right place. Let's go get them dogs. I bet that little trembly one could go for another Mr. Cookie Bar right about now. I love it when Barney's putting all them dogs in the squad car and he SAYS to that one dog "Move over...I'm drivin'." I love Barney. --Emma
    "We got swings in this town! We just don't use 'em at night!" (Barn)

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2627: Yes I do keep coming back. I long for the way this porch was at the beginning and I keep holding out hope that it can be that way again.

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2628: 2620...Thanks for the support.
    "We defy the Mafia!

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2629: To msg 2627:Then maybe you could make a comment in keeping with that "way it was" and see if you can lead it back there. All of these people on here seem pretty reasonable, and just because they have other interests as well doesn't mean they're anti-old ways. Have a little flexibility man. Things don't have to be so b & w. We all come back to TAGS. But in a friendly atmosphere like this, it is perfectly natural to talk about all sorts of things. It's what people do. Bend a little, boy. We all love Mayberry, or we wouldn't be here. But we aren't so one-dimensional that that is all we talk about. There's way yonder more than that.

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2630: Msg 2620. It ain't such a good idee to let Bozos tell you what to do. Maybe the Bozo was an interloper. Try us again. This page is full of quotes. We really do love 'em.

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2631: Come fish, come. Come fish, come. Sam's at the gate with a frosted cake.

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2632: Try a game called Reminiscing, Juanita. It's lots of fun and you gotta be sort of old to play it good. Look how the nay-sayers love it here! Just can't stay away. Please keep on with your remarks, Interlopers. It just serves to prove to us what a fun place this really is! We don't expect everyone to be nice all the time. We don't mind a little discord. We can handle it!

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2633: Hey msg 2631--if you can't find a red headed man, a boy will do. JINX

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2634:
    Barney: "I think that could use just a touch more plaster. I always like to make my moulages a bit on the solid side."
    Andy: "I like to use a little egg white in mine...makes em moister and fluffier."

    May 7, 1998 - Msg 2635: Boojum, are you going to Mayberry at Meadowview in Kingsport? We need a headcount here on the porch on who's going to that. Jelsik? You gonna be there?