October 26, 2001 - Msg 2840: Good mornin' porch, How is everyone? Mrs. Wiley I sure hope you have a good time at your party. Sounds like you could use a night out. Maybe mr. Schwump will ask you to dance. Seriously, I hope things work out. Hi Asa, the only plans for me today is to work. But I have the weekend off and I plan to enjoy the beautiful fall weather here if it aint too cold. Where's Homemaker? I didn't get her that riled up did I? See ya'll later--Salty Dog

October 26, 2001 - Msg 2841: Whoa, Who swept the porch?

October 26, 2001 - Msg 2842: I am a-riled something fearce Salty Dog - you never get the red-headed hit woman riled:-)

The boys have been busy playing this morning - boy did it get cold last night. Good thing my husband's wife knows how to build a good fire in the wood stove!
Well - I think we will be off to Walmart for a new aquarium pump. Tonight is "Homemaker's School" where I get to learn new recipes and have a chance at door prizes. I am excited about going to that! I think it is apropo for me to go to Homemaker's school - what do you think!


October 26, 2001 - Msg 2843: Afternoon everyone. Looks like somone committed a neatness here on the porch. I did'nt know you was a red head homemaker. I'll be a little more careful in the future. You know what they say abouy red heads.


October 26, 2001 - Msg 2844: No Asa what do they say about red-heads?

October 26, 2001 - Msg 2845: Better put my email on here again since the Count came & swept the porch, did anybody find a fingerprint set???

October 26, 2001 - Msg 2846: Well, I'm back. Just in case anyone noticed I was gone. I pinched a nerve or something in my neck and haven't been able to turn my head. (No doubt brought on by guarding the bank). Then both my kids are having troubles. Plus they are making us learn a bunch of new stuff at my job; and basically I'm the type of person that doesn't like change. Why must we get all new systems when the old works perfectly fine? Alas, I'm growing old... I wonder what causes that?
- Hazel
Emma Brand:
"Did I have a pain? Started right here in the side and shot down my leg, rared up the other side and around my back, and then went clean on up my neck."

October 26, 2001 - Msg 2847: Poor Hazel! Oh dear I feel for you. Do you have any muscle relaxers? Stand under a hot shower and try to relax. About the new systems... just remember that you are way smarter and infinately more valuable than a piece of software or a box of circuts. Turn it off for the weekend and don't sweat it.

Weather is starting to cool...sure feels nice. Y'all have a nice weekend and I'll stop by the porch on my way home.

~ Mrs. Wiley
"Nate, Nate! They're playing a cha-cha-cha!"
"You'll have to excuse me (we took lessons)."

October 26, 2001 - Msg 2848: Howdy, friends! Mavis, I admire your determination. That directory is a super idea, and I hope everyone will get their info to you. For a name, how about "The Union High Yearbook"?
Goodness, all these memories! Does anyone recall little Teddy Snowcrop? How about the little Alka-Seltzer commercial that featured a little ticked-off stomach, with little tubes dangling here and there, as he scolded his human for eating the wrong thing?
Now if you really want to match memories, you need to know that I wore a felt poodle-skirt, complete with a little chain leash on the poodle, and I wore more petticoats than Scarlett O'Hara. Footwear included bobbysox and penny loafers most of the time, and for one period of time we wore black ballerina slippers, no socks. The slippers lasted about a week, but fortunately weren't expensive. We also wore four-inch-wide elastic belts that cinched our waists in until we looked like a bunch of red ants. Very uncomfortable, but we didn't care.
Well, that's my memories for tonight. -- Romeena

"Brylcream, a little dab'll do ya!
Brylcream, you'll look so debonair.
Brylcream, the gals'll all pursue ya -
They'll love to get their fingers in your hair!"

Maybe that was what Goober had used when Andy whispered to him, "Your hair's drippin'."

October 26, 2001 - Msg 2849: Glad to hear from you Hazel. I was askin for you this morning. Sorry to hear about your problems. Hope you get feelin better real quick like. If that bank job is to much let me know. It usually will give you a pain somewheres but not in the neck if you get my meaning. Hope the yunguns get things working ok to.
Thanks for the memories Romeena. I remember the little seltzer kid. Does anyone remember the old Maypo commercials?


October 26, 2001 - Msg 2850: What is Maypo ASA - no I don't remember them, sorry to disappoint you Salty Dog!

The homemakers school was wonderful - I can't wait to get all the things I need to make the manicotti recipe. It looked deeelicious!

If you ask my husband Asa, my red head has a whole lot of gray. It just makes me more distinguished! And it is a natural red too - no bottle red for me. My youngest didn't have a chance (great grandfather and great grandmother on his daddy's side, daddy with a little red and momma with a lot of red!) One of of my children had to be a red head. People still ask me where he got the red hair and I say, it was the milkman's fault!

Have a good evening and I'll talk to you later!

I like the Union High thing! by the way!


October 26, 2001 - Msg 2851: O.K. Asa I'll bite, What is Maypo?? Thats a new one on me. But then again, so was the tidy bowl man, but i'm not going there tonight because I don't want to get"Big Red" riled up again!! I know how those red heads can be. Anyway, please shed some light on this Maypo thing and I'll see if I remember it or not. Hope everyone is having a good night.-- Salty Dog

October 26, 2001 - Msg 2852: Homemaker, you posted before I could!!!-Salty Dog

October 26, 2001 - Msg 2853: Well Porch I have spent most of the night looking for a decent FREE website to put this page on & I finally just settled on Geocities. I help design another site on there so I at least know the workings of it, I just HATE them pop-up ads.
I'm off to bed & will start on the site first thing in the morning.
Nite Porch!

October 26, 2001 - Msg 2854: Maypo was and still is delicious hot cereal with a maple flavor. Markie Maypo was the cute little cartoon guy with a red hat that told everyone how good Maypo is.

October 26, 2001 - Msg 2855: Since we're talking about old memories, does anyone remember a show that use to be on, probably in the mid-60's, that was called "Danger is my business"? I tried to tell my husband about it and he thought I was a nut. So I tried to get a co-worker to back me up, and she thought I was a nut too. It was a weekly show about a guy that did dangerous stunts each week. And no, I'm not thinking of the old Evil Knivel stunts.
- Hazel

ut oh, better get maypo. was that it?

October 26, 2001 - Msg 2856: Hey everybody! Has everybody had a good Friday?
Sorry you have a pain in the neck, Hazel. Do you remember when Goober was laid up at Andy's with a fake back pain. Then he ended up giving Andy one.
HA HA. Maybe heat would help you. Today my cub scout son was in a prade down Main Street in town. How Americana is that? It looked good to see all of the flags waving and the band playing. I appreciated it more this year after these last couple of months. America is still great and always will be!! I like the Union High Yearbook idea, too. Homemaker the receipe sounds delish!
Maybe we could have a recipe swap sometime. I can fix a mean PB&J. :) Asa glad to be hearing from you again. Like I said before, I'm new, but have been reading your post for a while. I think red-heads are great people, after all I'm one too!
Well, reddish-blond, more red though. Everybody have a good night and enjoy your weekend. Especially you Hazel and Asa. Asa I know this week will be even better than last!--Helen Rev.22:21
Goober: "I can't even lift my arms this high, see?"

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2857: has anyone seen my plotted bride charlene?I hope she aint with Ernest T.

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2858: Good Morning porch. Has everyone had there Maypo this morning? I never ate the stuff, just remember the commercials. It was a hot type of breakfast oatmeal or cereal I reckon. It looked good on tv but then it was supposed to.
Sounds like we got us a couple of red heads on the porch. Taint nothing wrong with red heads, I like em. They are notorius for there hot tempers but I think that is bunk, aint it?


October 27, 2001 - Msg 2859: Whoops, forgot to answer you Hazel, I don't remember that show. Do you or anyone else remember a show called the Whirlybirds?


October 27, 2001 - Msg 2860: Hazel, I don't remember that show. On the other hand I was born in the middle 60's so then I wouldn't remember it. Now I remember the Incredible Hulk, CHIPS and of course the Brady Bunch. Maypo? Is that like Cream of Wheat or something like that? Asa, that is bunk about red-heads. I don't get riled to easily, unless I don't get my way! ;).--Helen

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2861: Well, since no one remembers that show, do you think it's barely possible that I am a nut? Today I'm sitting in my recliner with a heating pad on my neck. My husband set me up a tv tray beside my chair before he went off to work. He put all the essentials on it: the phone, the newspaper, the tv remote (he put an Andy tape in the VCR for me), my Andy Griffith Show book, a bottle of advil, some muscle relaxers, and a big cup of moxie java coffee. He's a keeper! The only reason I'm up now is some neighbor kid pounded on the front door so I was forced to get up. durn kids. Thanks for the kind words Mrs. Wiley and Asa; and welcome to Helen! I'm a blonde myself. Perhaps that's why I'm rattling on and on...
- Hazel

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2862: G'Morning, porch! Hazel, you poor thing. Soak it, Hazel, soak it a lot! Just try to keep your nose above water whilst you're soakin'!
As for this question about redheads gettin' riled easily - seems to me that Opie is a pretty cool-headed little young'un, and hair doesn't get any redder than his!
Speaking of hair, gotta go get mine cut. Wish Floyd would cut women's hair, maybe he wouldn't be quite so expensive. Mavis, I wish you lived in my part of Mayberry. My Sugarplum's little puppy feet need a good grooming. Guess I'll do them myself, but I'm sure you'd do it a sight better!--Romeena

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2863: I don't think your'e a nut Em.. I mean Hazel. A scamp maybe, but not a nut. Remember it was me who insisted I had once seen Sarah in an episode, and was told I was nuts. By the way, I still think she appeared on one episode. But thats another story for another time. Hope your neck gets feeling better soon like. No fun being layed up. I'm about to go stir crazy.
I'd think twice about letting Floyd get to close to you with sizzors Romeena. Rememeber, he cuts till he see's scalp. If you like longer hair that will not do.


October 27, 2001 - Msg 2864: Afternoon Porch! I am so sorry to hear all my friends are ailin' Let's make it National Ailin' Day & see if the sisters can fix it with their elixer. Romeena I'd be glad to do little Sugarplums feet, if I live closer to you. We got up to snow flurries this morning, yep I said snow in October! Off to work on the website,
oh yeah, don't forget to set yer clocks back tonight, we get an extra hour of sleep! Well as long as neighborhood young 'uns don't come knocking on the door!

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2865: About that name thing, Asa. (no one else will probably know what we're talkin about - doesn't matter, Asa and I are both nuts) What happened was this: I found that place first, chose my name because that had always been one of my favorite characters and I was so pleased that it wasn't already taken. Then a few weeks later I discovered this place. I quickly discovered that someone already had that name (she doesn't post very often), so after a brief identity crisis, I became Hazel. As Andy would say, oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.
- Hazel
Double knott spy

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2866: Well Porchsters - it seems it has been a might busy. We went to a good ole farm auction this morning and came out with a metal detector (couldn't you see old Barn using one or maybe Goober - scary!) and then we hauled 2 truck loads of wood home so we could keep warm this winter. It's a coming quick. Now it is off to cleaning the house for the number one son's birthday party tomorrow. Busy, Busy, Busy

Hazel and Asa - we already knew you was nuts! Like that was a secret!

Take care -


Who said that Blondes have more fun - redheads definitely do!

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2867: I figured it was something like that Hazel. But know that we have broached the subject (impressive wordage huh) who is Hazel? I don't remember her. I Don't mean to be obtuse.
Hey Homemaker, they say using wood to heat your house warms you thrice. Once when you cut it, once when you burn it, and I don't remember the third one so maybe it's only twice.


October 27, 2001 - Msg 2868: Maybe the third one is when you see some feller on the corner selling wood for dirt cheap and you went to all that trouble to cut it yourself, so you do a slow burn. ha ha (I'm very funny) Asa, you don't know who Hazel is? A lot of people probably think I named myself after the lady that plays piano for the town choir; but I prefer to think that my namesake is from the episode "Andy forecloses", where he evicts Frank Myers from his house. Franks chicken's name was "Hazel". Remember she sat on the couch beside Andy? I grew up on a farm and had several pet chickens. That is until my dad got aholt of em. Then we had Sunday dinner. I'm still in therapy for that...
- Hazel

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2869: Ooops, the epsiode I meant was "Mayberry goes Bankrupt".
- Hazel

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2870: Hazel, I once had a chicken named Fred. . .I should have been named Fred instead of homemaker! :)
There are some around here who sell would as a business but I have never seen it cheap. Most charge a fair price and an even fairer price to the poor city people (those in Cincinnati). Everytime I see wood at the quick-mart and they want about 5 dollars for four pieces I think I am in the wrong business!

Well - everyone have a great rest of the Saturday and a blessed Sunday. back to cleaning the house - some more!


October 27, 2001 - Msg 2871: Man you can tell I am tired I can't even spell "wood" -


October 27, 2001 - Msg 2872: How much would cood a wouldchuck cut if a wouldchulk cood chulk would. (hee hee hee)
Now I know who Hazel is. I always wondered on that. So that means you're a little chicadee? While we are on the subject, who was Mavis? I guess I'm really showing my ignorance here, but inquiring minds need to know.


October 27, 2001 - Msg 2873: Oh, for petes sake, Asa, do I have to explain everything to you? Mavis dated Andy briefly when he and Helen were having a fight. She works over to the drugstore.
- Hazel

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2874: Homemaker,the airport called and wanted to know if you and your metal detector could work security. Know seriously, did you hear about the lady they caught trying to get through security with knitting needles? She was trying to knit a "Afghan"!! Don't split your stitches Asa. :) We
went to a little league baseball game tonight. We froze from our nose to our toes. BRR. It's getting cold in Dixie! I'm getting my husband ready to go up to your part of the woods, Salty Dog. He has to go to Clemson for a couple of days. Hazel, I hope you didn't dream of those chickens and try to wring your own neck! Hope your better soon. By the way Asa,Helen was Andy's
girlfriend and Opies school teacher. ;)
Nite all and enjoy the "extry" hour tonight.
--Helen Psalms 122:1

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2875: Know? I meant No.I guess my brain is frozen.

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2876: Hey Helen, tell "Mr.Crump" to swing by my porch while he's over my way!! If it's too cold we'll just go in and sit by the far. Oh homemaker, whats a potty patrol officer doin' with a metal detector?? Are you expectin to find something in one of your potties? If you do, let me know. Asa you sound like you're getting back to normal now.
Hey to everyone else have a good night and set your clocks back. How did that party go, Mrs. Wiley? --Salty Dog

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2877: Who is Mavis? Who is Mavis?? Why Asa that doc didn't do such a good job on you, I'M Mavis!! Did you forget that so soon??
Nite Porch! Don't know if I'm talking to Asa yet, since he don't even know who I am!
October 27, 2001 - Msg 2878: Well I'll be dawged. I sure don't remember that episode with Mavis. But if you say so then I'll buy it. Learn somthin new every day here on the porch. As for you Helen, don't get obtuse with me young lady. I hate it when you get obtuse.
Now do I dare ask the origins of Salty Dog? Might as well bare it all here tonight.


October 27, 2001 - Msg 2879: whew Mavis, we kinda got tangled up there didn't we?

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2880: Dadgum font check! Sorry porch! I'll quit now for while now!

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2881: Good thing we did get tangled up there I guess, thought the porch was gonna fall Asa & you know, there's spiders under there!
If I was a spider that's where I'd go

October 27, 2001 - Msg 2882: Yes indeed. Spiders and cobwebs stuck in your hair and stuff like that. Fits right in with the season though don't it?
Sorry if all my posts and questions today drove any of you nuts. It's just that I can't get out and do much right now, and I am really tired of the ceiling in my bedroom. It feels good to be up some and chat with you all. I am off to la la land now so I will hush and give someone else a chance to talk. You all have a good night, and get some rest Hazel, they still need you at the bank on monday morning.


October 28, 2001 - Msg 2883: Morning, porch. Asa, the episode Mavis was in was a color one. I think it was the one where Helen writes that childrens book, and becomes semi-famous, and Andy gets jealous and they have a fight. So Mavis at the drugstore, who has always thought Andy was a doll, starts flirting with him and next thing you know they have a date. Eventually, Andy & Helen work things out and get back together; and Mavis quits her job at the drug store and moves out of town and starts grooming dogs for a living.
- Hazel

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2884: Good Sunday Morning everybody, Getting ready for Church this morning. Still cold. Salty Dog, thanks for the invite. I'll tell 'Mr. Crump'. I think homemaker might find a 'loaded' Tidy Bowl Man in those potties, don't you think SD. How is your neck Hazel, hope the heat helped. You could 'milk' it for all its worth with your husband. Sounds like he's taking very good care of you. I'll tell my 'young-un' not to be a knockin' for a while longer. Asa, I was just trying to help you out with Helen. After all the pink elephants and everything, thought I would help get you back to reality. :) Really, I'm glad to be hearing from you more these days. --Helen

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2885: Good Sabbath everone. I know you was jesting there Helen. So was I. You don't really have it in you to be obtuse.
Thanks for the episode info Hazel. I'm glad it was a colored episode cause I ain't nearlly as familiar with them as I am with the black and whites. I spent half the night tryiny to think what episode that was. Hope the neck is doing better today, and the young-uns to.
Hope everyone has a great Sabbath day today. Maybe we can have a last summer picnic for the year after preachin. It's gonna be around 70 in my part of town this afternoon. Anyone up for a picnic?


October 28, 2001 - Msg 2886: Ya'll talk quietly now, Asa is trying to sleep.--Helen

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2887: Oh Asa, you woke up. We must have posted at the same time. You make me laugh, I knew you were kiddin' around. Let's all go on the picnic. I'll bring the chicken with the crust on it and some sweet tea. Sounds like perfect picnic weather.--Helen

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2888: Good morning porch, sounds like things are really hopping around here. I've decided that we need to take up a collection for Asa to buy him some tags videos or a book or something. Asa, Salty Dog is a song that Charlene sung to Andy in one episode. If you go into the Briscoes Blues section of tis website you can hear it played!! I will take you up on that picnic, It is frosty here this morning.
Have a good day, I'm off to preaching.--Salty Dog

"Let me be your Salty Dog or I won't be your gal at all. Honey let me be your Salty Dog"

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2889: Good Sabbath Porch! Glad to see everyobe up & at 'em this morning, hope ya'll 'membered to set your clocks back or you'll be at preachin' an hour ahead of time. Now I have only gotten 3 Porchsters to send me thier info & I'm just about ready to start adding them to the site, so I need the rest of you to send me your info if you want to be included. I have alot of addresses from before, but I don't want to use them without permission. I also need all the birthdays.
Thanks ya'll send your info

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2890: make that everyONE not everyOBE sheesh, that extry hour will do it everytime!

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2891: What extra hour - all that means is that I have to wait to see my 8:00 shows at 8:00 and not at 7:00. Dag blum fast time slow time stuff. Where we live in Indiana - we don't change the time and I could pull in those satellite shows an hour earlier!

Glad your up to par Asa (get it :)) and that you are on your way back.

Have a good one - company's coming for cake and ice cream!


October 28, 2001 - Msg 2892: Thanks Homemaker, I preciate them thoughts.
Thanks for the help Salty Dog, now that you tell me I can remember it now.
Helen's bringing the chickIn who else is coming?
And please support our Mavis and send her your info. She is putting in a lot of effort on this and really needs our support. She don't need to be discoureged any more than she already is, she's a Redskins fan you know. (jk mavis)


October 28, 2001 - Msg 2893: I'm sorry, I'll be unable to attend the picnic. My neck is bad again. Have fun! Remember what happened last time, Asa. The cave incident? Wear a hat this time, and stay low to the ground. Helen, keep an eye out for him, ok? Oh, I sent Mavis my information. Anybody heard from Miss Ellie? Now I'm worried about her. Maybe we should name our group "the missing link" since we always seem to be looking for someone.
- Hazel

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2894: Wasn't the name of Andy's and Barney's yearbook called the cutlass? Could you use that Mavis? I think it was, because when Andy was helping Barney go through his stuff, they found it. Maybe we could have like a "reunion" somewhere and meet everybody.Hazel, I hope that your neck gets better. Have you tried mulberry squeezins? thats good for what ails ya. Asa, you keep on doing better You'll remember everything eventually. I've got a devils food cake. Can I bring that to the picnic? Maybe we could play some horse shoes too!! I love to do that. Have a good day. Is Mrs. Wiley back yet? I missed her--Salty Dog
P.S. We really need to help Mav out on her site!! She's really worked hard on it.-S.D.

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2895: By the way, wheres Fun Girl??

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2896: Mavis, I know you've done this before, but could you list the info that you need besides b'days and addresses. I could not find this in the archives. Thanks. Preaching today was about the five loaves and two fishes. Just bring a little to Jesus and he'll fill you. Salty Dog I have that song stuck in my head now. I call that the SOD (song of the day.) Hubby is on his way to SC, he'll be missed. Off to the picnic. Ya'll come.--Helen

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2897: Honey, just let me be your salty dog!

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2898: Good Sabbath evening Porch! I made it back from the big city safely - thanks for worryin' over me SaltyD. Boy, was it cold up there. The party was so much fun! Kinda hated to leave at midnight - the band was starting it's 2nd set, everyone was dancing with evryone all at the same time, and let me tell you, old hippie folks sure can come up with some inventive costumes! Even had to shake off a suitor (blushes), I just ain't ready to go from the frying pan to the fire! But everyone behaved and a nice time was had by all.

I'll have to miss the picnic, but sounds lovely Asa. Helen, watch out for bats!
~ Mrs. Wiley

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2899: The birth day party's over for everyone except mom - now that I spent all this time cleaning for everyone to come now I have to clean up the mess they made. My oldest got lots of clothes of which I am thankful and a new bike horn for his new bike and horse afghan. I am sure that a little old lady didn't make this.

Oh well - hope every one is feeling better this evening!


October 28, 2001 - Msg 2900: Hey to the porch! Just got back from a youth leadership conference for church. Spent the evenings with the darling boys and charlene.
Got to hear a little pickin' and fiddlin'. My favorite this weekend was "Tis a gift to be Simple." Mighty fine, mighty fine. Got time to breathe, got time for music. Oh by the way, I am a red head too. Mine comes from a bottle and only my hairdresser knows what kind of goodies are mixed up in there. Used to be a brunette, but wanted something to perk me up for my 20 year high school reunion. (in October)
Fun Girl

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2901: Oh by the way, does anyone remember the episode of Tags where Barney is jumping rope and saying, "My Mother, your Mother lived across the way, and every night they had a fight and this is what they'd say." And just what did they say. Was this an actual episode, or am I a nut too????
Fun Girl

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2902: Oh by the way, does anyone remember the episode of Tags where Barney is jumping rope and saying, "My Mother, your Mother lived across the way, and every night they had a fight and this is what they'd say." And just what did they say. Was this an actual episode, or am I a nut too????
Fun Girl

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2903: Howdy, friends. Let me try this again - the bad-word editor didn't like my first attempt. Salty Dog, I like your suggestion of using "The Cutla$s" for the name of Mavis's directory. That's the trail I was on when I suggested "The Union High Yearbook", but "The Cutla$s" is the correct name, and is easier to say. (How did you get past the editor in #2894 above?? Anyway, I like it!--Romeena

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2904: Hey to the porch-
Fun Girl, Barney uses that verse twice in TAGS. He does it in "A Medal for Opie" and again in the epilogue of "The Haunted House".

Milton P. Oliver
"Icka-backa soda cracker, icka backa boo"

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2905: Fun Girl, I think this is the episode where Opie is training for the 50 yard dash and Barney has him working out. I think the last lines say 'out goes you'. A few men drive by mocking him as Barney is doing this. They want to know if they can play too!No you're not nuts, but have you been taking Asa's pills? You're repeating yourself! Sounds like you had a good conference. My 20th is coming up in a couple of years maybe I'll change my red to brunette! Keep us updated on the reunion. Homemaker glad he had a good party. They grow so fast. I try to enjoy every minute with my young un. Isn't it funny how you break your neck to clean up for them to come and mess up?! Makin' memories though so it's worth it. Hazel have you tried some of Dr. Pendike's(sp)Miracle Salve? The picnic was great we even saw a red-crested Lake Loon. The cake was great Salty Dog. Even brought a piece home for after while.
Trivia question: Why does Ernest T. Bass talk through his nose? --Helen

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2906: Wow, So many good ideas coming off this porch today, Sunday must be a good thinkin' day! Milton P. Oliver!! is that really you back in Mayberry?! Where you been hidin? Good to see you! Asa I am so glad you are back to your old self! & I beleive Miss Ellie is busy gettin her porch finished, she was remodeling it, & she also has a few sick relatives. Her little 90 year old aunt is not feeling well & her Mama counts on her alot, so she is one busy lady. Thanks for all the support guys & I'll holler when I get this done.

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2907: And, btw-I hope don't nobody expects me to do as great a job as our own Floyd does, he knows his stuff!

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2908: Dadgum it! I forgot. I need emails, b'days, screennames for the messenger thingys(aol, msn, yahoo) & ICQ #'s just send whichever ones you are on.
(font check off)

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2909: Omigosh Mavis. 2 in a row. It's time to break them up. Do I smell a dynasty? Really, that was good to see. I'm glad for ya.
Boy we had a great picnic. Helen knows how to incinerate a bird I'll tell ya. We even collected some bat eggs for prosperity.
Sorry your still ailin Hazel. We will bring you some of Salty Dogs cake over. It were goood.
Nice to see Homemaker, Romeena, Mrs. Wiley, Fun Girl, M.P.O., posting. Sounds like we all had a good day, well except for poor Hazel. You take care now and don't go breakin your neck.


October 28, 2001 - Msg 2910: Hey yall, How is your Sunday? I just recieved an e-mail and thought I would tell yall about it. There is a new scam going on with the Budweiser frogs. Don't download any screen savers from it ot it will crash your computer. I recieved two of them tonight. Have a good week and hope the sickly ones are better. Fun girl, can you say rubber baby buggy bumpers three times fast?-- Salty Dog

P.S.- Hey to you too homemaker.

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2911: Helen, Ernest T talks thru his nose so he can talk whilst he eats.
- Haze.

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2912: tee hee. Must be those muscle relaxers. Thats "Hazel".

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2913: Asa them pink elephants musta done something to yer eyes, that was 3 in a row up there. hehe
Night porch!
Helen, you see anythang wrong with my eyes? You a teacher! Goober

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2914: I thought that would be a hard one Haze(l). Your good or do you have a book or something? I'll come up with a hard one. Thanks for the heads up Salty Dog. Can't imagine Budweiser making things crash.I'll pass along the message. We've got enough problems with all of the pill popping going on around here. :) (Get well everybody). Bat eggs and bacon tomorrow for breakfast. We
might can find a left over chicken leg or devils food cake if nobody likes bat eggs. Everybody have a good work week. Salty Dog, in your line of business, I hope your not busy. Tomorrow is "School day, school day, good ole happy rule day". My daddy used to get me out of bed that way. Now I'm going through school again. God has a sense of humor doesn't he. Nite all. Stay warm tonight. --Helen Psalms 146:1,2

October 28, 2001 - Msg 2915: Wow Hazel or Haze...or...you know what I mean.
You did a wonderful job on that trivia question.
You know what we oughta do for Hazel? Let
all the women give her a few pies and Josephine Pike can sing her a song. Dosen't Josephine sing all her song in the key of W? Speaking of pill popping my TUMS are on my desk now. They won't make you see crazy, they just *BURP* make you sound crazy.


October 28, 2001 - Msg 2916: Jesus loves you.

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2917: Good morning porch. It is COLD here in my porch. The porch was frosted over this morning. We may have to get someone to screen it in for us, or move to Asa's porch. His porch sounds warmer than mine is.Am I the only person around here not a redhead? Mines very dark brown. O.K. heres my trivia question. There are two people who are mentioned frequently on TAGS but were never seen.
Who were they? Hope you all have a good day. I have ten hours ahead of me at work. But it wont be too bad. The leaf lookers have all went home now, so it won't be to busy hopefully. I have it made anyway, my manager has a tv/vcr on the counter so, I've been taking my TAGS videos to work!! Now, I've got the other workers watching TAGS all the time too. Ya'll have a good one and don't be a takin too many pills.--Salty Dog

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2918: Aw, gee thanks, AngeFan. It tweren't nothin. You know how I feel about fuss and falderol. Lord knows the job itself is reward enough. Well, today I go to the doc so they can figure out what is the matter with my neck. I hope I don't have a fracture of the petula abundalla. Everyone have a good day!
- Haze

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2919: We were posting at the same time, Salty Dog! Good Morning. Juanita and Sarah is the answer. I can't help myself, I'm just a student of humanity. (Except that Asa claimed he once saw Sarah.)
- Hazel

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2920: Salty Dog nope yer not the only one NOT a red-head, my hair is black. (well it's supposed to be, it has lots of white hairs running thru it, wonder what causes that?) Better get to work so I can get home & finish our site, I want to get it published today if I can. Wish me luck! With all the red-heads you'd think I could find a little redheaded boy's head to rub! If ya'll find one, rub his head for me will ya?

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2921: And QUIT rubbin Opie's head!!

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2922: Mornin DEAR. How is all? Good luck Mavis. And good luck at the docs Hazel. It sounds like Salty Dog has the job I want.
Fresh bat eggs over at Helen's mmmm. I like em.


October 29, 2001 - Msg 2923: Hazel, you done good. We need to get together and play the TAGS trivia game no one else will play with me. ya'll have a good one-- Salty Dog

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2924: Good morning porch! What a fine morning it is. Everything is running regular for the Potty Patrol Report. I know you have missed hearing that but I want to make sure you all get the news that is fit to print.
Thank you Mavis for all of your hard work - you're a treashuh!
Asa - I am so glad that you are feeling better. I didn't want to haras$ you too bad when you were feeling poorly but hey, but hey, no more sympathy from this corner.
Good to hear from you Fun Girl - we have kind of lost track of each other. How's little Opie doing in school? Just wondering?
Now Salty Dog, you have the life getting to watch TAGS at work! WOW - you really rate.
Hazel, Mrs. Wiley, Helen, Tom and Miss Ellie - I know I am a missing a few. . .Have a great Monday. Last Day to teach night class. Hip Hip Hooray!


October 29, 2001 - Msg 2925: Howdy Homemaker. The gloves are coming off, huh?
Well bring it on, cause I'm feeling kinda good today, so hit me with your best shot, I can take it. Better let me know first, just in case though.
Hey Salty Dog, I was watching an episode of Matlock this morning and there was Ben, singing Salty Dog. Made me think of ya.


October 29, 2001 - Msg 2926: Morning HONEY! O.K. here's a real hard one Hazel, or anybody that can beat you to it. What is Aunt Bee's winning answer when she appears on the "Win or Lose" game show? Free left over bat eggs (for prosperity) to the winner. I could use your TUMS AngeFan after this mornings breakfast. Hey, guess what? My son has red hair just like mine. Be glad to rub it anytime for ya. He looks a LOT like Opie.You have a great Monday too, homemaker What do you teach? Happy it's the last night. Hazel, hope the Doc helps. I thought I would need some of yours or Asa's pills. Got up this morning and could not walk on my foot. A good soakin' helped. It's the 1st anniversary of when I broke my other foot. Maybe it was all in my mind. Maybe Emmas sugar pills would work.--Helen

Emma: "I want my pills!"

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2927: I believe that was, "cinnamon with custard filling."
"I was glad to do it."

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2928: Good morning, friends! Bat eggs for breakfast?? I'd think they'd lay on your chest. Now, moth eggs might be a bit lighter, but they're awfully hard to crack, and it takes a lot of them to make an omelette. I think this morning I'll just stick with cereal, thanks.
I declare, all you poorly-feelin' folks! Here I am, older'n dirt, and I feel fine! Guess I'd better count my blessings.
I "called the man" last week, and my guest bathroom is gettin' a makeover. Did you know you can bust up a cast-iron bathtub with a sledgehammer? Well, you can. It'll just shatter. Wonder what causes that? Anyhow, it's sure gonna look nice when he finishes in there. After 27 years, it's about time. I've-had-just-about-enough-of-that-harvest-gold-bathtub!
Have a great week, friends.--Romeena

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2929: If anybody needs two rubs, I have a little red dog too!---Helen

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2930: Hey Romeena, we posted at the same time. My Mom is redoing her harvest gold bathroom too. I know it'll be beautiful when you finish. I just can't get you all on the trivia. Free bat eggs for you, just come claim 'em. AngeFan may throw in some TUMS.--Helen

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2931: Hey,
What was Goober's down payment when he purchased the fillin' station'? Let's see who get's this one. Where is Raphe? He may get some. Come on Helen!!! You honestly think I would give a way my TUMS. I have you know it's only 36 tablets a bottle and the bottle's half empty. Well I guess I would give a few. I suppose I would give someone the whole bottle if and only they need them. Here are a few @@@@@@@@@.


October 29, 2001 - Msg 2932: Mornin -oops, make that afternoon,everyone,
After a looooonnnnnggggg weekend, I had dirty laundry up to you know where to get clean. Thankfully it's a beautiful day to hang it out on the porch and enjoy these last few warm days. We had a bust weekend with the ham & oyster supper Saturday all day, and then a harvest party here last night. Loved it, just loved it. Lost of fine folks dropping by the porch for a chat. Real neighborly of them. Missed all of you though. So sorry to hear all the ailin' loved ones, will keep ya in our prayers. Asa ya sure are upping yourself. Sounds like you're feeling better. Just be careful , don't want ya over doin' it too soon. Well, how about the Redskins? We don't talk about them and they win. (Thats the last I say anything this week about them) Got to get the next load out..~~~~~~~~~New Neighbor

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2933: Thanks New Neighbor about not saying the you know whats anymore, might work! yeah, but it might not.

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2934: Mavis:
It's worth a try ain't it? I just can't think of trying out a new team.~New Neighbor

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2935: Shoot, New Neighbor I been a Re@$}!%$ fan for 25 years or more, winning or losing they are still my team!

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2936: Once upon a time, I was a Cowboys fan, big time! Then the J-birds (Jones & Johnson) came in and treated our dear Tom Landry so shabbily, and suddenly I realized I was really a Tom Landry fan, and when he was gone, so was I. Then when Mr. Jones hired a New York PR firm to try to help him improve his image with Texans, I knew I was never going back. I haven't, either! So there.--Romeena

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2937: Hey Mavis, Do you have a web site up yet with all the Porchster's info on it? I was just wondering.

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2938: Just about ready Floyd at least the basics are. I needed to talk to you about some links & stuff tho, I will email you about that.

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2939: Hey, Helen. I'm guessing your mom's house was built in the late 60's or early 70's? Mine was built in 1973, with all gold appliances and fixtures, and (of course)"earth-tones" carpet, which meant a rust color. Lots of semi-dark paneling, too. The tub is the last of the gold to go, the carpet is a light beige now, the brown-and-rust wallpapers were replaced with white-on-ivory, and the paneling remains as it was. Looks lovely now against the lighter accents. It's almost as pretty as the bedroom Barney and Aunt Bee created for Andy when they thought he was getting married. No canopy over the beds, though! I'll bet your mom is as glad to see the gold stuff go as I've been. Tell her I said congratulations for finally getting it done!--Romeena

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2940: So Romeena, who do you root for now?
What did the Doc. say Hazel, we're no spring chickIns anymore? hee hee
Can hardly wait to see your work Mavis. I bet it will look great. Your ejukashion was worth every penney.

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2941: Watch it Mavis it almost looks like you're talking ugly about the team! ;) I did a double take.
Romeena, Mom's house was built in "76. In the middle of the harvest "gold" rush! I know your house is beautiful. Sure sounds like it. You'll be glad you 'called the man'. Which episodes did you watch today, Salty Dog. I would LOVE to get all of the episodes on tape. Does anyone know where I might find them? All 249 or as many as I can get. Asa I can tell you feel better. I told you this week would be better. How do you change the fonts on the porch? I would 'preciate all the info.--Helen

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2942: Angefan, Goobers downpayment was $2,000.00
- Hazel

October 29, 2001 - Msg 2943: Oh, yeah, Asa, almost forgot. The Doc said the petula abundalla aint in the neck, it's in the leg. He thinks I have a pinched nerve. Sure hurts a lot, I was sure I'd have some fancy sounding ailment. He did say no more guarding the bank for you, he thinks it was caused by my gun making me walk uneven. But I told him flat out, NO, I made a promise and I intend to keep that promise. I will finish out the week for you.
- Hazel

"You see, this is a deadly game; I'm in it for keeps."