December 11, 2001 - Msg 3732: Good evenin' to the Porch! Dirty me, dirty me, I'm disgusted with myself! I looked back over the posts and found that I had missed out on wishin' Floyd and Salty Dog a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I'm sorry as can be about that, folks. I hope you had a good one, even without my birthday wishes comin' through until now. :-)

HOWEVER: I am RIGHT ON THE BALL when I say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NICE, REAL NICE, MARYGRACE. I ain't seen her nor her beloveded Mr. Foley 'round these parts in awhile, but in case they pop in, I just wanted 'em to know I was thinkin' about them.

Hey to Mrs. Wiley and Jubaljubaljubal, welcome to the Porch! Come back soon, y'hear? Hazel, that choir idea is a Jim-Dandy one, but I was just thinkin', we might have enough women folk comin' here that we could have our own women's softball team. I wouldn't mind bein' one of the umpires, and I'll bet Mr. Hendricks can call the bases again if I take home plate. I promise to call 'em like I see 'em, and if I think you're out, then I'm just gonna CALL YOU OUT! What do you say, ladies? Any softball players out there? Welcome to David and howard (didn't you used to go by cooter?) and ever'body else. Nice to see ever'body.

Well, I'll see ya.
*Rafe Hollister
"Goober, you've got the cleanest hands of any mechanic I ever saw."
"I ourgt to, I just wiped 'em on your seat covers! *snicker* snicker*"

December 11, 2001 - Msg 3733: Happy Birthday to NRNMaryGrace! I hope it's been a fun day!

December 11, 2001 - Msg 3734: Happy Birthday to NRNMaryGrace! I hope it's been a fun day!

December 11, 2001 - Msg 3735: oh dear..I'm sorry..

December 11, 2001 - Msg 3736: Hey MERLE DEAN, remember me, Miss Ellie. I come in occasionally and post.
Happy Birthday SALTY DOG, NICE Real NICE Mary Grace and to Floyd.
The services in honor or those who died Sept llth was so touching. God bless their families and the people who are still searching at ground zero.
Keep a prayer going up for my Granny and my uncle Dennis. Both recently in bad health.
and my uncles wife, she's been under the weather for 3 years and the doctors can't find a thing wrong with her.
Welcome back to The Rock.
Hey Howard, give my love to your mother.
Hello to everyone.
I want to thank God for the rain HE gave us. We needed it.
Miss Ellie

December 11, 2001 - Msg 3737: Well evening porch!Hope all is well with everyone!
We had another fine day with temps in the upper 40's now that's warm for Dec. in Wis.They are forcasting rain,which is not sitting to well with
all them skiers up here! I Just have 1 more Christmas present to buy and I'm all done!Has anyone seen the movie Pleasentville?I know Don Knotts had a small role in the film.What did anyone on the porch think!I'm sure it is not a
family movie?Is it worth owning because Don is in it? Well my prayers go out to those who need
them.I noticed Tom has'nt been posting much lately!I would like to get his email address so I
can write to him like I did a few years back!
I have been doing not to good of a job at checkers
lately over by Floyd's !(old Goober been getting
lucky as of late!)Everyone should relax after a
busy day by playing checkers at Floyd's!Maybe someone can beat good old Goober for me ha,ha!!
Take care and God bless each and everyone of you fine folks here at the porch!!!Brian

December 11, 2001 - Msg 3738: O.K. Rafe, I'll sign up for the softball team. Can I be third base? That's what I used to play... er... 10 years ago. (or was it 30). Anyhow, I'm sure I've still got what it takes. And if you call me out I promise I won't call you names.
- Hazel

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3739: I wanna play too, Rafe! I'm the short stop (my size). And I promise not to bring meatballs to the team meetings. Are they still gonna be held at Andy's house? HAPPY BIRTHDAY to NRNMG! Prayers for your ailin' ones Miss Ellie. And HEY to Brian, where ya been? You can get TOM's email adress at the Cutlass. Mavis, can you provide the link? Just keep watchin here. It'll come up. Yal have a wonderful Wednesday and stay safe!

~ Mrs. Wiley

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3740: Hey porchsters: Can I play too? I'm good at pitching, and really need to get into shape cause I have to coach the High School Girls team this year. Can ya show me some tricky moves to use on the other team? Hey Asa- I still have those bats we can use...oh yea, wrong kinda bats!~New Neighbor

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3741: Brian - you need to check out the Cutlass for Tom's email address. Sorry I haven't been on in awhile. Been so busy at home! I have been car shopping and I am having a hard time finding exactly what I want.
I want to be on the softball team too - but can I just be the bat boy or the water boy. My arthritis would surely slow the team down. Or I could just be AD2K strapper in after ya'll pull every muscle in your body! I bet Asa could design one in team colors. Although the cow design didn't look at all like it should have!

Ya'll take care -


December 12, 2001 - Msg 3742: MERLE DEAN says "Hey" to Miss Ellie and all you other good folks.
Rafe- good to see you too...I remember you from the old days.
I watched Barney working with the fake FBI man last night---slipped him a micky and tried to make off with all that money.
"One of yer kin's always a blow"(Floyd)

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3743: Front Porch participants -- I'm writing aqbout book about hte American porch, and would like to get details on the porch as a set in the series. I'd also like to know of sources for production stills that might include any of the Taylors on their porch. Thanks, and happy holidays. -- Michael Dolan

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3744: What we gonna name the team?

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3745: How about The Mayberry Moonshiners ?

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3746: The Cutlass

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3747: Good afternoon porch, Is everyone having a good day? Asa, you'd be proud of me. I listened to Manheim Steamroller on the way home from work today. I heard about 3 of their Christmas songs. They aint half bad. The softball team sounds great. Count me in! Our colors can be blue and gold. Later--Salty Dog

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3748: Hey Miss Ellie thanks for the welcome back. It sure feels good to be back on the porch again. If we can get up a softball team I'd pay a quarter to watch them play. And say hey maybe they could meet at Andy's house while Andy is reading "The Legand Of Sleepy Hollow" to Opie. But of course they would have to meet at the witching time of night.
The Rock

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3749: Hey, friends! Just passin' by on my way to work. It's nice to have The Rock back, and welcome to newcomers. Always room for one more chair on the porch.
I don't think I'll try to play softball - every time I get close to a game involving a ball, I get hit in the face. A basketball broke my nose once, a baseball knocked me out momentarily, and several volleyballs have given me nosebleeds. So, I'll pass. I'll stay behind the fence and sell cotton candy!
Asa, are you sure that cider was hard? I thought you were supplementing yours with something, but now that you mention it, that cider did have a bit of a bite to it, and I've still got the headache I woke up with the next day!
I, too, am concerned about Tom. Hope he's not ailin'. Such a sweet little heart that boy has.
Have a good evening, folks.--Romeena

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3750: Evening Porch. How is everyone tonight? Sorry you still aching in the noggin Romeena. That hard cider can git ya can't it?
I would love to coach this all female softball team if ya'll let me. I can be tough, but fair. Whadda ya say?
We are missing Tom and Helen. Where are you two?
Is everyone ready for Christmas? Better get that way if you ain't
Way to go Salty Dog. Mannheim Steamroller ain't bad atalll. I'm trying to get Hazel to listen to em.


December 12, 2001 - Msg 3751: Asa - it is a softball team not a golfclub team! Knowing you - we would lose because we would either use the wrong kind of bat or hit the wrong size of ball! Maybe you can run the scoreboard or do play by play!


On second thought - maybe you could teach a self defense course for women using your golf clubs - you have a way of injuring those around you!

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3752: Evening Porch! Been fighting with the dadgum phone company here again & wasn't able to get online for a day or two. I sure missed you guys! A softball team? Count me in, I played left field in high school I guess I can still throw that far.
Off to catch up on email!

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3753: Almost forgot, Mom is about the same, the meds they have her on are bothering her some, making her grumpy & nervous, but the Doc told her that was normal. Her speech is worse & the drawing of her face is a little worse, but she is doing about the same. Keep praying for her I'd appreciate it!

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3754: You got it Mavis. We missed ya.


December 12, 2001 - Msg 3755: Good evening porch. I think Asa should be our coach. He's right about being tough, ya'll ort to work with him sometime!! Glad to see ya back Mav, we missed ya! Ya want me and Asa to hang the phone company up in one of our AD2K's? Hazel, you need to give Steamroller a chance, You'd love it just love it! I am normally a bluegrass fan and I got into it! Them and the Darlings should play some together.Hope ya'll have a good evening. I have the day off tomorrow. So, I guess I'll have to go to the AD2K factory. Asa, no drinking cider tonight! We got to work tomorrow and I aint waiting on you till 4 in the afternoon like last time. Nite Porch--Salty Dog

December 12, 2001 - Msg 3756: Salty Dog you sure got your hands full there trying to make Asa work, he just likes to drink cider & pretend to put up Christmas lights! Brian I saw up there somewheres you wanted Tom's email address, it is on my site The Cutlass look on the Post Office page.
Nite porch

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3757: Mornin Porch. I see the softball team is coming together nicely. We've got me on third, Mrs. Wiley as shortstop, Mavis left field, NewNeighbor will pitch. Asa's the coach and Rafe will be the umpire. Did I miss anybody? Come on girls, we still need a catcher, first & second base and right & center field. With Asa coaching, we're sure to have a lot of fun.
- Hazel

"Hit one for the ol' Goober"

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3758: Oh, Merle Dean, I think you and I have the same favorite quotes. I love that Floyd line you quoted. "I suppose one of your kin died. That's always a terrible blow... no? Well, whatever it was is strictly a man's personal business. Stock market, was it? No? Did you win it on one of those games shows?" Have a nice day everybody.
10-4 over and out
- Hazel

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3759: Mornin porch. Raining here in Tennessee. I was a catcher in high school, and although I am not of the female gender maybe I could put on a wig keep the chest protector on all the time and talk in a high pitched voice that way Rafe and the team from Mt Pilot may not notice. Hey Asa how about you having Barney call a meeting over at Andy's house and we'll discuss it.

The Rock

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3760: You got it Rock, or should I say Rockette? Thats what you will have to go by. OK we still need some players. Salty Dog, I got you penciled in at 2nd base. Romeena at cheerleader. We'll have to get her some pom poms. Homemaker, you want 1st base?
Meeting tonight at Andy,s house at the bewitching time of night.


December 13, 2001 - Msg 3761: MERLE DEAN says "Hey" and me and the same...two peas in a pod.
Can I be the team bench warmer..."I've got the magazines to swing it !"(Floyd)

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3762: Okay - but you need to know that I'll try my best to do first base - but from now on my name will be "who!" (You know - Who is on first?)

Where can we hold spring training? We will need to practice especially when we play Mount Pilot or the big team from Raleigh! I heard they had a killer pitcher named Maude!

Okay - who doesn't have the Christmas shopping finished besides me? Ya'll hold your hands up so we can see them? I don't want to be the only late one!

talk to you later


December 13, 2001 - Msg 3763: Law, I have to get back here more often. That Floyd can sweep can't he? I missed Floyd, Salty Dog, and NRN Mary Grace's birthdays. Sorry, folks and Happy belated. Hope you all had a wonderful day. I also missed some new folks. Welcome to all. You'll like it here.

A softball team, shazaam. You'd have to put me in way, way, way right field. I haven't played in 20 years at least. "I hate to think what I just revealed about myself."

*Mavis I'm glad to here your momma is doing better. I'll continue to keep a good thought for her. I love recipes too. I'll give ya a holler and we'll compare.

Prayers for everyone who needs them. I hope everyone is having a lovely day.
"Maude, Al. If those hamburgers are ruined, I won't be responsible!"

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3764: hear/here. Sheesh. You'd think I could do better than that!

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3765: Hi everybody, Homemaker, my hand is up really high in the air. I am going to finish mine on Saturday. Asa, 2nd is fine with me. But whats our name gonna be? The rockettes? or the Rafettes? Oh well ya'll have a good day. I snuck into Asa's office for a minute to post this. Maybe he won't miss me in the factory. OOPS....."All right, all right, I'm coming." I'M COMING!! Man, you can't get away with nothing when Asa is around here. I'll be back later if I get off work that is. Later-- Salty Dog

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3766: How about the AD2Kers!!?

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3767: I can't believe I didn't think of that! Asa, you see what all this work has done to me? I think it's a good idea. What does everybody else think? Since Asa is our coach it seems only right. See ya'll later!--Salty Dog

P.S.He didn't catch me this time!!

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3768: Thanks for the belated birthday wishes, Tilley.

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3769: Evening Porch! I ain't done with my shopping yet either, but I'm gonna try to finish it this week.
Tilley can't wait to hear about all yer recipes. Maybe Romeena can cheer & make cookies & stuff to keep the team going. Ya reckon?

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3770: I reckon. Suppose she'll bring some of her special cider that I've heard so much about?
- Hazel

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3771: I hope not, I can just imagine the team by the time Asa got to coaching after havin some of that cider! LOL

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3772: He'd probably have all of us ride into the field on the back of a cow!

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3773: He'd probably have all of us ride into the field on the back of a cow!

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3774: I don't normally chew my cabbage twice like that. Sorry forgot my name too!--Salty Dog

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3775: Poor Salty Dog that mean old Asa is working here so hard, she is forgetting her name and rrrrrepeating herself! Salty D you just come on over here to my house & hide from him a while!

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3776: working here so hard! Would ya look at that? I meant working HER. I can't spell tonight either, wonder if that is Asa's fault too? teehee (just funnin ya Asa)

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3777: Thats ok Mavis, GIVE ME 20. I am the coach now.
Poor ol' Salty Dog is a real trooper I tell ya. She's busier than a cows tail in fly season, poor dear. Don't frte hon, after the first of the year you can have some vacation time.
I was thinking about asking Floyd to sponser us, so we should slip his name in there somehow. Like Floyd's Fun Girls, or Floyd's Female Fanatics, or Lawson's Lucious Ladies. What do ya think?
I got you in at right field Tilley. Now we need center field. How's about Fun Girl? Can she play center?


December 13, 2001 - Msg 3778: 20?? Did you say 20? After working all day cleaning up dirty doggies & you want me to give you 20? I think you need to take another drink of cider! teehee

December 13, 2001 - Msg 3779: nite Porch!~

December 14, 2001 - Msg 3780: Mornin' Porchers! I thought a good name for the team would be The Hoggette's (that's French ya know), but I like the idee of Floyd's name being in there. Floyd's Furies or Floyd's Decievers. I dunno. Lawson's Hoggettes is mighty powerful too.

~ Mrs. Wiley

December 14, 2001 - Msg 3781: Mornin Mrs. Wiley, How are you? I know Mavis would like the Hoggette's. Thats what they call them radical redskins fans. Or hows about the Salty Doggette's? or Asa's Aces? Ya'll decide. My hands are gonna be full gettin 20 outta Mavis. I gotta have discipline here or else.......


December 14, 2001 - Msg 3782: Mornin, How do you do Mrs Wiley? Got the youngun off to school and the wife off to work so I thought I'd rock a while. I have to get our cat "Volunteer" from the vet today. Poor old thing got into some rat poison somewhere and almost died. ("Boy that rat poison has got to smart") We don't know where she found it because we don't use poison just traps. If it were not for kids and kats I'd have a lot more money.
The Rock
"Boy cats are selfish, running around, eating rat poison and just looking out for number one"

December 14, 2001 - Msg 3783: Good morning porch, Asa, good luck with Mavis I don't know what you're gonna do with her. How about "Asas All American"? We'll figure out something. Maybe whilst Mavis is doing her pushups something will come to her. I'm off to work now have a good day. Asa, keep things moving along at the factory Christmas is just around the corner and no "cider" breaks today either.--Salty Dog

December 14, 2001 - Msg 3784: morning folks. I got a Christmas card from Tom last week.
I hope he is okay too. He didn't really say much.
The sun is peeping out after a week of cloudy weatehr and drizzle, but we needed it.
Can I be a cheerleader ?
Welcome to newcomers.
Michael Dolan, I don't know much about the Taylor Front Porch. Aunt Bee had wicker furniture and lot of flowers.
The front porch was as wide as the front of the house, steps on the opposite side from the door. Screen door for a while.
Hope that helps.
Miss Ellie
"Say something like Santy Claus, Barney." "ho,ho,ho"

December 14, 2001 - Msg 3785: *Mavis, Asa didn't say drop and give me 20, so we don't know what kind of 20 he wants. Maybe he meant 20 sips of cider? How 'bout Floyd's Clippers? You know he runs the best clip joint in town. Get it? Course I like Mrs. Wiley's idea of Hogettes too. Purty name, Hoggette.

Rock, I'm sure sorry to hear about poor little Volunteer, but you had me laughing hard this morning with that quote. I hope she's doing OK now.

"I won't need a gun, Barn. Me and Fluffy's been friends for years."

December 14, 2001 - Msg 3786: MERLE DEAN says "Hey"
my quote for the day..."They's all keyed up"(Briscoe)
P.S. I say we have Bobby Fleet play the end of the season dance.
"I'm not standing in no stag line with Old man Perkins and a bunch of slumped over teenage boys"(Barney)

December 14, 2001 - Msg 3787: "Hey" to everybody! I haven't been here in a month of Sundays! Thanks to you all so very much for the lovely thoughts and birthday wishes. God Bless you each and every one. Mr Foley and I are doing fine, just busy with the holidays and such. Take care you all. NRNMG

December 14, 2001 - Msg 3788: Awww, Rock! Your poor kitty! Give a cat some rat poison and they get all selfish. Asa, if you require dicipline, are we gonna have to shine the backs of our cleets? That way when we're runnin twoards home, the 3rd baseman will remember us nicely. "hey" to Merle Dean, Tilley, Mavis, NRNMG and Miss Ellie!

~ Mrs. Wiley
"Just because Hermann Hoffleich was on the wrong team back in '18 dosen't mean he didn't have some good ideas."
"I have to inspire 'em with my power and strength."

December 14, 2001 - Msg 3789: Font check = YO!

December 14, 2001 - Msg 3790: MERLE DEAN is off to home and hearth !
Hope everyone has a Mayberry kind of weekend !
Love to all and to all a goodnight.
"Lots a luck to you and yours"(Gomer)
"Lucious, I mean Gomer's Daddy."(Andy)
"HIS DADDY!"(Sgt. Vince Carter U.S.M.C)
Love that exchange.
"He's a NUT!"(Barney)

December 14, 2001 - Msg 3791: Evenin', friends! Mr. Rock, I'm sorry your poor little kitty had such a bad time. Wonder if she caught a rat someone else had poisoned? I hate poisons, even to get rid of critters of the vermin persuasion. Traps are quick and much more humane.
Hey, how did I get appointed to be a cheerleader? You know I have to stay behind the fence! If I don't, I'll get hit with that baseball for sure, and I don't need another knot on my head. Miss Ellie, you have my permission to be a cheerleader. I'll make cookies, and bring cider (it's just a little bit hard), and I still want to sell cotton candy. It's not a ball game without cotton candy. Or is that for a circus? Hmmmm.
Asa, my lights out front are a sight to behold. We did a good job, even if we were a bit cider-y.
Have a great weekend, friends.--Romeena

December 14, 2001 - Msg 3792: Howdy Romeena and Merle. I too am heading homeward to be Santa and deliver some presents to the big city. Yes, it's true...I have finished my shopping. Now don't get all worked up, I started 3 weeks ago. Don't go punnishin' yourselves inside or nothin'. My tree is sort of snowman shaped, Charley Brown variety - but I'm happy with it. Smells purdy!

See y'all late Sabbath,
~ Mrs. Wiley

December 14, 2001 - Msg 3793: Hey to my porch sitting friends! I haven't posted for quite a while. But I am here to say that I will play center field for the Mayberry Mashers, or whatever we end up calling the team. Just as long as no one hollers at me for ducking if the ball comes to close. My darling boys have been so busy this week. They have played three Christmas gigs this week. That's a heavy schedule for little fellers of 5 and 7 years old. I got my darlin' Charlene a tamborine for Christmas so at the ripe old age of three she can get into the act. (Old enough to be potty trained, old enough for music.) I have about two presents to buy and my shopping will be all done. I am going with restaurant gift certificates this year for most of my holiday giving.
Fun Girl

December 14, 2001 - Msg 3794: You know all my kin folks just love Morelli's

December 15, 2001 - Msg 3795: Tilley, Mrs. Wiley and Romeena thanks for your concern about my cat, Volunteer. The vet thinks she either ate some poison or like Romeena said ,caught a rat that had been poisoned. Any way she is home now and seems to be out of the woods. We have about three more gifts to buy then we will be finished with the shopping. Glad to see Fun Girl again and happy that she will play Center Field. My son played center on his high school baseball team.You know his baseball coach said, you know the one who coached him in baseball," A team without a center is like a star with it's glimmer". Well I think I'll finish off the pot of coffee, read the paper, then go play a round of golf.
The Rock

December 15, 2001 - Msg 3796: Good morning porch. I guess you have to get up pretty early in the morning to be first on this porch. I am off to finish my Christmas shopping today. (hopefully). Asa let me have the weekend off so I better take advantage of it. Have a good day. I'll be back later if I aint gone crazy. Or craziER than I am already. See ya'll later--Salty Dog

December 15, 2001 - Msg 3797: Morning porch. I'm just pickled tink that most of you are almost done with your Christmas shopping. I aint even bought one gift. I thought I'd go out tomorrow and get er done. Yep, that's the plan. Clean the house today, shop tomorrow. Yep, that's what I'm gonna do...
- Hazel

December 15, 2001 - Msg 3798: Don't ferget the coaches gift Hazel. Salty Dog got me one and "wala" she got the weekend off. Wonder what causes that?
Rock, your trying to make me go crazy talking about going golfing today. We got 10 inches of snow last night, and now its butt freezing cold this morning, around 12 at 5am. Brrrr
Good to see you F.G. You be our center, Miss Ellie is our cheerleader, and Romeena will be our head of concessions, instead of concussions.
I think we got us a team. Spring training starts right after the new year at Mrs. Wiley's. Ya'll come now.
And Mavis did such a good job on her pushups, she will be our trainer.
And Mrs. Wiley's comment on shining the backs of your cleats made me laugh so good, she will be in charge of uniforms.


December 15, 2001 - Msg 3799: Just got my housework all done. I think my family wants me to feel needed, cause they sure leave the house a mess. Bless their hearts. Kinda quiet around here today. Boy, I'm looking forward to spring training at Mrs. Wileys, cause I'm sick of the cold. "It will be my pleasure, dear lady, to be incarcerated in your domicile." And I vote for Fun Girls name: the Mayberry Mashers.
- Hazel

December 15, 2001 - Msg 3800: Well I made it back and I am FINALLY done with my Christmas shopping. It only took 8 hours. Thats harder than working. Thanks Asa for the weekend off. It was around 60 here today. First time I ever remember Christmas shopping in a t-shirt. You can send us some of that snow anyday. Last year we had a white Christmas Eve anyway. But it has been too warm this year. Mrs. WIley, are you sure you want all of us nuts showing up at your house this Spring? You got more nerves than I do. Especially if our cheerleader and head coach have been hittin the cider again!! Well I got a lot of wrapping to do so I will see yall later on!--Salty Dog

December 15, 2001 - Msg 3801: I think I'll start on Ultra Slim Fast on New Years Day, then do 100 sit-ups every night and head then head for Mrs. Wileys for spring training.Yep, that's what I'm gonna do start on Ultra Slim Fast, do 100 sit-ups every night and head for Mrs. Wileys come spring training.

Fun Girl

December 15, 2001 - Msg 3802: Asa, wish we had snow. I went out and played, don't tell Warren, a gambling game. The scores were 80, 82(mine) 90, and 95. After the skins wre counterd I had lost $11.00. and the 90 had won $11.00. Me and the 95 had lost. Maybe If I take lessons from the 90 I can be shooting in the 90's myself. The only reason that golf is called golf is that all the other four letter words were taken.
The Rock

December 15, 2001 - Msg 3803: About a week ago I wrote: "This is a wonderful website. I cannot believe that there is something so wholsome on the internet. Here is a little true yet nostalgic story.

When I was a young boy, growing up in the San Fernando Valley, there was this older man that lived on our street. His house was two doors up from ours.

During the summer, he would sit in his garage with the door up and sit passing the hours drinking beer. As I would watch TV and enjoy the Andy Griffith Show, my mother would point out that the gentleman that lives two doors up the street street was xxxxx xxxxx.

Can you guess who that gentleman was? I'll check back and tell you who answered right.

Thank you and "Best of luck to you and yours!""

ANSWER: Otis Campbell! he was very nice to all of us kids in the neighborhood. Thanks Otis. We sure do miss you.


December 15, 2001 - Msg 3804: thanks for the answer Terry we been wondering who it was. I went to our work Christmas party tonight, it was at the boss' house. We all had a great time, ate like a bunch of pigs & came home. All in all it was a fun night.
Night Porch!

December 15, 2001 - Msg 3805: Oh Mavis, after I made you our trainer, you come on and tell us this. I hope it was well conditioned pigs you all ate like.
Thats a swell story there Terry. Thanks for sharing it with us.
See ya'll in the morning. Hazel's cooking breakfast.


December 15, 2001 - Msg 3806: HAPPY THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW
( - - - )

December 15, 2001 - Msg 3807: Howdy, folks! Asa, you are a bird in this world! Putting me in charge of concessions, rather than concussions! What a hilarious word-play. Good one, Asa.
Terry, we hope you're not just passin' through. The corner room at the Mayberry Hotel is available - why don't you stay a while? Then if you like what you see around here, you could move into a room at Mrs. Mendelbright's. Just don't use any bulbs brighter than 40W. She gets awful upset over that.
I've got all the shopping done for one little grandson, because I cornered his daddy one morning and in an hour the shopping was all done. Now there's three more little boys, but they're easy to shop for. With little boys, just find something that roars, rolls, or requires batteries and you've got it made. Add to that PJ's and underwear, and that's a grandma's Christmas.
My own kids were easy. A place setting of their stainless for the girls, and a Home Depot gift card for the boys. Throw in a dated ornament for each family, and it's all done.
Have a lovely Sabbath, friends. Slow down, TAKE it easy! Play some carols, drive around and look at the lights, take some canned goods by a food pantry or a homeless shelter. You'll feel good, I promise.--Romeena

December 15, 2001 - Msg 3808: Good evening porch or should I say morning? I didn't realize how late is was when I got through wrapping my presents. Thanks for the kind words Romeena thats something we shoould ALL do. Here I have been killing myself tonight trying to get everything done. Crazy,I guess I just wasn't thinking. Oh well(yawn) I'll see yall at preachin tomorrow or today or whatever. Nite--Salty Dog

COME ON EVERYONE, UP AND AT EM. RISE AND SHINE. LETS GET MOVING GO GO GO GO GO Man you guys are hard to git up. Its lonely out here on the porch all by myself. WAKE UP!!!


December 16, 2001 - Msg 3810: Asa, could you please hold it down a little? I've got a head that feels like it's been in the drawer all night. And what's this about me cooking breakfast? When I read that I put some eggs on to boil; they been in about 45 minutes now. Think that's too long? I've got the sausage cooking now, could everyone bring their own orange juice?
- Hazel

December 16, 2001 - Msg 3811: Oh, and by the way, Asa, is that how you're gonna yell at us at spring training? Boy, oh boy what a mess I made of my life...

December 16, 2001 - Msg 3812: Afternoon porch! Asa, what do you put in your coffee of a morning? Pipe down a little! Your disturbing the peace, keeping these folks awake. Well I am outta here. Just stopped by after preachin to check in. Now I am off to the store I'm having a Christmas party tonight after the Church play. Yer all invited too! Sorry Asa and Romeena there won't be any cider just Pepsi and coffee but it sounds like Asa has had enough for one morning anyway. Later--Salty Dog

December 16, 2001 - Msg 3813: Romeena, aren't ya kind. What a wonderful thought. One of the best Chrismas' I've ever had involved helping the needy. The place I worked contacted the county and found out folks that were down on their luck. They had a Santy Clause and the children sat on his lap and told him and us what they wanted. The co. gave us $50 to buy the kids presents and then fixed up a "goody" basket for the family, turkey, fixings, and just everything for a nice Christmas dinner. "My" kid was older, about 14. She wanted a video game. Her mom kept telling her that it was too expensive for Santa, but she insisted that was all in the world that she wanted. My Mr. and I wrapped up our video game that we hardly played with anymore, :-), and a bunch of games. Then Christmas Eve we took the presents and box of food to these folks. Real satisfying experience.

Sorry to be long winded today. Hope everyone is having a good Sabbath.


December 16, 2001 - Msg 3814: It is just like Asa to let a little power go right to his head - first with ordering Salty Dog around at the factory and now this coaching thing. Tsk Tsk Tsk

Well Mavis - I got my pan of fudge made (batch #1) and a batch of honey glazed snck mix made (batch #1). Si, i will be fixing some goodie bags tonight for some of the school folks tomorrow. Nothing like waiting until the last minute. I found a jar of soup mix that I make up for a few folks - depending on how much time I have left.

Well - off to slave some more. . .wanted to have the kids in the Christmas program tonight at church but they aren't 100% yet and it is raining like cats and dogs here so it looks like I'll just keep them in and hopefully let them get a little rest before tomorrow.


December 16, 2001 - Msg 3815: Hey homemaker bring em on over to our church tonight. It aint raining but it is getting colder. Then yall can come to my house for snacks afterward. I'm having sausage balls, ham pinwheels,chips and salsa, spinach dip, fruit slices and dip, cheese balls and crackers, and cream cheese brownies. So bring your fudge and come ahead!--Off to the Christmas play!--Salty Dog

December 16, 2001 - Msg 3816: What a spread Salty! Thanks for havin us! (snack, eat, sample, sip, snack...) Homemaker, bring along a pan of that fudge if ya please? Glad I missed that wake up from Asa today, but looks like we're in for a few weeks of that when ya'll come down for spring training. It'll be adventure sleepin' but there's room for the whole team! And after the heavy practices, we can cool off in the cement pond or walk across the street to the bay. Bring your fish-poles! In cahrge of the uniforms, eh? (where's my thimble?) OK, what numbers do you each want? I'm #8 - it's my lucky number. Guess Asa is #1.

~ Mrs. Wiley
"Alright 3, your at attention!"

December 16, 2001 - Msg 3817: font check?

December 16, 2001 - Msg 3818: Mrs. Wiley, do I get a number, if I'm just hanging out behind the fence, pushin' cookies and sodas? I want a number, I'll even take "13". Just don't give me "666".--Romeena

December 16, 2001 - Msg 3819: Could I be #5, Mrs. Wiley?
- Hazel

December 16, 2001 - Msg 3820: I want number 3 in honor of my favorite NASCAR driver! This will be a rough Christmas for the Earnhardtfamily, especially the little girl. Makes me sad. Anyway off to bed, being a dog groomer at Christmas time is no fun I tell ya, no fun AT ALL!!

December 17, 2001 - Msg 3821: Mavis, all of us who own little friends of the canine persuasion appreciate all you do. We want our babies to look their best for the holidays, and you make folks happy when you make their pets look pretty. You should be proud. Tired, but proud!--Romeena

December 17, 2001 - Msg 3822: WHERE IS TOM?!? I tell ya, I'm worried about that boy!--Romeena

December 17, 2001 - Msg 3823: OK if we're gettin our numbers tonight I want number 2 if nobody aint took it. Party was great food was too good. Mav, I agree with Romeena, we want our little ones to be all dolled up for the holidays. I bought both my dog and cat presents yesterday. Well, I am off here for the night. The play went good too. They had a little runaway cow but it just added to it! Nite--Salty Dog

December 17, 2001 - Msg 3824: Mornin porch (real quiet-like).

Hazel - 5 check.
Romeena, 13? shure you wouldn't want to be 00?
Mavis - 3 check.
SaltyDog - 2 check.
Coach Asa - 1 check.

Let's start thinking colors...

~ Mrs. Wiley (in charge of uniforms)
"I shore can't play without a uniform!"
"You shore can't play with one."

December 17, 2001 - Msg 3825: Morning. Colors, Mrs. Wiley? How about the ball caps green, trimmed with pink baby roses, and beige jerseys with buttons. The other teams will remember us real well with that get-up. And guess what. I been practicing my batting in the back yard, and I've got the part down where I use the bat to knock the dirt off my tennis shoes, just like Opie. I'm pretty near ready for spring training.
- Hazel

December 17, 2001 - Msg 3826: Boy oh boy it sure is good to see everyone so excited about the upcoming season. Thats fine, just fine. I gotta think we will go far with ya'll's attitude.
I hope everyone has a good day today, and play's nice. Just think, next week at this time it will be Christmas eve. Are you up for that?


December 17, 2001 - Msg 3827: Mrs. Wiley, dibbies on the ironing board? Now that's adventure sleepin'. Asa I'll take #14 if it hasn't been taken. And can ya kinda hold it down in the mornings? "We're no spring chickens anymore." haha

I made my first batch of peanut butter balls last night, but I still have to dip them in chocolate. Anybody want to be a guinea pig for me? They taste pretty good to me, but then I like Lillian's meatballs.

Asa I don't know if I'm up for Christmas Eve yet or not. I'm excited because my mom and dad will be here, but I ain't near ready. And one of my Christmas presents came in wrong, wrong, wrong! Everyone have a great day today.


December 17, 2001 - Msg 3828: Good afternoon porch. Thought that I would stop by for a short visit before going to my mother's. She turns 87 today. Give her a birthday gift then its off for a nice lunch. Hope Inspector Case don't show up and ruin her birthday like he did Otis'. Asa if I made the team as catcher and since I'm not of the female gender and since I will be in disguise with a wig and talking in a high pitch voice so we can fool Rafe the umpire I think I should have the number 1/2.
The Rock

"And I'm out a birthday cake" (Otis)

December 17, 2001 - Msg 3829: Happy Birthday to George "Goober" Lindsay.

December 17, 2001 - Msg 3830: GOOB!!! Happy Birthday to you Mr. Lindsay!

~ Mrs. Wiley

December 17, 2001 - Msg 3831: Good afternoon porch. It is a rainy Monday here on my porch. I had the day off(don't tell Asa) So it was a good day for wrapping presents and watching tags. Weren't the colors of Mayberry Union High blue and gold? I think I remember the song " the blue and the gold will try try try" It may be a different color but I think it was blue. Hey Rock can you do your voice like Barney when he was Mr. Pendyke? How did he do that? See yall later on--Salty Dog

"And when the victorys won you'll be our favorite one We'll hit the line for points every time...."

December 17, 2001 - Msg 3832: Hey Salty Dog, Thanks for the laugh. I enjoyed it. You can have all the time off you need, cause you work so hard when you are here. Plus we gotta start winding production down and git you ready for softball. You know, running, and lifting weights, and throwing a ball around. It's gonna be tough, and then it's gonna get tougher!!!
Happy Birthday to Goober, (hey)
I'll try some of them peanut butter balls Tilley. Sounds good.
You and Rock will have to check with Mrs. Wiley, she is the uniform expert.
I would like you guys to start some training tonight, the one foot hop as seen by Barn and Otis. Ready? HI-YUP...HIYUP...HI-YUP...


December 17, 2001 - Msg 3833: Evening Porchers! I sure am ready for Christmas Eve - gettin the grocery list ready. Say, aren't the Mayberry colors Orange and Blue? "The Orange and blue will try, try, try, try"

Hazel - 5 check.
Romeena, 13?
Mavis - 3 check.
SaltyDog - 2 check.
Coach Asa - 1 check.
Tilley 14 check.
Rockette - 1/2 check.

Silk and crushed velvet?
~ Mrs. Wiley

December 17, 2001 - Msg 3834: Mrs. Wiley are you trying to steal my ideas?? I'll have to speak to Coach Asa about that. Read #3831. And by the way,Romeena, how about Sugarplum being our mascot, we haven't mentioned a mascot yet. Yall have a good night. Gotta work tomorrow only a few days left before Christmas. Get your red hot AD2KS now. Christmas Eve delivery guaranteed. Call now, operators are standing by. I had to get one last plug in before Christmas! Asa made me do it. Nite-- Salty Dog

December 17, 2001 - Msg 3835: I started sewing on my orange and blue cheerleader's costume. I've already got the pom-poms.
Hope all are well in Mayberry.
Miss Ellie

December 17, 2001 - Msg 3836: Hey to the Porch! Just wanted to pop in and say Hey. Merle Dean, Merle Dean, Merle Dean... you're a sight for sore eyes! We surely missed ya, bud!!! So glad 'bout you and the missus. You still workin' down at the bank? That place is a pushover, y'know.
Thank everyone for your kind words about the loss of T.J. We shall meet, but we shall miss him.
Tillie, them peanut butter balls sound good. My grandmother used to make something similar. I like 'em. (No you don't!)
Gotta scoot. The ironin' board's waitin'. Love to all!


December 18, 2001 - Msg 3837: Mornin Porch! Naw, Salty i wasn't stealin your idea, just confirming that it's a good-un! Mayberry High colors are perfect! Say, has anyone started replacing the words to "Oh Christmastree" with "Miss Mayberry"? Caught myself singing "oh hail oh hail, oh hail oh hail" last night. Floyd "Awesome" Lawson - what a guy.

~ Mrs. Wiley

December 18, 2001 - Msg 3838: Ahhhhhhwwwwww....more "Anewsome" that "Awesome" but thanks!

December 18, 2001 - Msg 3839: MERLE DEAN says "Hey"
~De(squigly'S')~ "Never could remember what keys ta push fer that" HAPPY to see you. I didn't know you were posting here. I musta missed ya. Shame on me. Yes, I'm now a V.P. of the bank. I look like Mr. Meldrum running around here. :-)
Hope life is treating you in a Mayberry kinda way.
It's good to see the spirit is still here.
"Barney, could you repeat what you just said to me?" (Mr. Meldrum)
"I said that after a thorough review this bank is lacking all the safety measures required to prevent a bank robbery"(Barney)
*PAUSE* as Mr. Meldrum looks at the teller...
"GLENN FORD!"(Mr. Meldrum)