January 07, 2002 - Msg 4238: Good evening, It's cold here on my porch. Girls, I think we need to have a private meeting. First Asa has his wild party. Now he wants us to swear?? He's gonna be a bad influence on us. We cant expose the little plum to that kind of stuff can we? What are we gonna do with him? Got the day of tomorrow so I'll see yall in the morning. Nite--Saly Dog

January 07, 2002 - Msg 4239: Well talk about outting the cart before the horse. Here I was bellering at Asa and I cant even spell my own name! Thats supposed to be SalTy Dog. I'm going to bed now. A 10 hour work day after that party is just too hard on me! Nite hee hee--Salty Dog

January 07, 2002 - Msg 4240: Hi All will it ben cold here for the pass week and it going to wram up for the week.
The holiday was for the dogs and no fun.
Will it look like it time for everyone to hold hands and say a prayer for all are friend who can used thim now.
We are here for thim who can used are help in the time of problem.
God is always there
in our present world o sorrow
of heartache and despair
never feel alone forsaken
for god is always there.
when life's path is rough and rocky
seeme more than we can bear
there's a blessed friend to guide you
for god is always there
we can overcome life's trials
and our many troubles bear
for we have a faithful helper
our god is always there.

January 07, 2002 - Msg 4241: Hi All just sitting here reading all the post be for going bed .
Prayer to all in this time .

January 07, 2002 - Msg 4242: good evening all!
newton Monroe

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4243: Morning porch. Thanks for all the good thoughts for my family. Everyone's doing pretty good. Mr. Hazel has only been gone since Saturday and already one headlight burned out on my car and the screen door is stuck on its tracks and I can't let the dog in. Or out. Whichever. And he won't be back for another week. Could someone remind me to put the trash out tonight? Thanks.
- Hazel

Goober: Hello? Oh, howdy. Oh, I'd like to but I can't. I'm gona be helping the sheriff. It's an easy job, why don't you do it yourself? Just take the head off, clean out the intake ports and valve springs. Drain the crank case & fill it full of 40 weight. Aint nothin to it. Ok. Goodbye Alice!
Andy: Alice?
Goober: Yeah, sweet little old woman, I think she's a Quaker.

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4244: Morning Porch, Hazel, Tom. How is everyone today?
I see Salty Dog thinks I'm unfit to coach you ladies. I think we need to get a few things straight. I was upset at practice last night. First off only half the team showed up, and all they wanted to do was continue the party from saturday. And Salty was the worst one for wanting that. Salty, no more cider allowed at practice. I'll get water or gatorade or something. Fun Girl, sorry, but no more Little Debbies allowed. I thought it was a little silly when that fly ball smashed your cookie and you started to cry. Although you did play with more fervor after that, when you was mad. And girls when I say HUSTLE, that don't mean you start whistling at any guys in the area. Brother... Next practice is Wednesday at Mrs. Wiley's. I want you all to run 5 miles tonight. HUSTLE HUSTLE HUSTLE...


January 08, 2002 - Msg 4245: Hey Asa, that's a good idea of water at practice. I understand that they have a crock at the court house that is full of spring water. They don't wash it too often but it don't seem to bother Otis, Barney or Mayor Stoner. I'll run over and get it before practice on Wednesday.

The Rock

"Otis have you seen the Mayor" (Andy) Otis nods toward the back room

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4246: Morning porch,Good to see everyone out this morning. Tom it is good to see you back on the porch. Your poems are always so uplifting. Thank you for sharing it with us today. OK Asa, you expect us to work all day, come home cook supper for our families and run 5 miles afterwards? You may have some ill players come Wednesday. Practice at Mrs. Wileys, good, she always throws a good party. Hey rock I'd be more than happy to help you get the crock and we'll have it all cleaned up before Asa gets to practice. Then we'll be able to hit them balls.Hee Hee. Yall have a great day. See yall later if I am able to walk to the puter after my 5 mile run. Later--Salty Dog

You can tell him to put that in his smipe and poke it!

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4247: Boy, that Asa is a beast. A beast is what he is. Girls, how do you fight fire? (With a hose?) I've never seen such a clear case of intimidation. I say we hire an attorney to write him a letter, telling him to immediately cease and desist or we will see him in a court of law.
- Hazel

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4248: You can do it Salty, I know you can. Your young and healthy. You just ain't used to this kinda pushing, but thats what coaches have to do, push you to the max. And just to show you you I ain't a monster, I'll do those 5 miles with Salty. I'll be the one behind her in the golf cart, with the bull horn encouraging her along. hee hee hee


January 08, 2002 - Msg 4249: RIP Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4250: MERLE DEAN says "Hey"
I guess I need to run my boys to Wendy's tonight in honor of Dave.
Hope everyone is doing well ! It's a bit chilly here in the south this morning.
My Mom's from England....no, not Heckmendwike... and she said there was frost all over the "bonnet" and "boot" of her car this morning.
"Arntchya Kind....arntchya Kind !"(Malcolm Merriweather)

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4251: Morning Porch! Hey Merle, I know what a "bonnet" is (roof), but what's a "boot"? (the tires?). My sister has a room mate who's an Englishter, who's being taught the finer points of TAGS, which she really likes! And she's also developing a fondness for "Leave it to Beaver". What does my Sis get out of it? Very nearly a butler - enjoying proper dinners, eating Stilton Tarts and mincemeat pies... probably a heap of manners, too! I wonder what she thinks of 'ol Malcom? Wonder if he's kin?

Asa, I've said it befor and I'll say it again: you're tough (but fair). But ease up on us gals or you may find a pin in your chair or a snake in your inkwell (beasto-maristo).

Hey to TOM, we're always better off when you stop by!
~ Mrs. Wiley

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4252: "Hey" ~Mrs. Wiley
The bonnet is the hood at the front where the engine is and the boot is the trunk. Hope that clears it up...sorry fer the confusion.
I have to translate for her at the grocery sometimes...they can't understand her sometimes.
I get that Briscoe Darlin' look--"He one of ours?"
"More power to ya"
Mom was able to give me an appreciation of the finer things in life...Monty Python, Benny Hill,Lucas wiring systems (for the car nuts like me).
Anyway...I'll tell her you said "Hey"
"Lovely Country" (Malcolm)

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4253: Hey Merle, both my parents come from England. Sounds like we could do a lot of story swapping. Remember yorkshire pudding? Bread fried in bacon grease? Or a cup o tea? You would love the writings of James Harriot, country vet.


January 08, 2002 - Msg 4254: Asa
What memories...I haven't had Yorkshire pudding in years...by the way my Mom is from Yorkshire...where are your folks from ? She was born in Sheffield but lived in Whitwell.
She can't get started without a cup of tea.
"Put the kettle on" is a common phrase.
She lives for James Harriot's books. He did have a calendar that came out every year I use to get Mom for X-mas but then he passed away and they stopped doing it...oh well.
"I'll do it !"(Goober)

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4255: Asa, you are too kind. I dont't know what I'd do without you. Follow behind me in a golf cart? How nice of you. But if I have to run 5 miles tonight I get an extry hour massage with that purty doctor. :) What ya gonna do next make me jump rope too? Girls, we're gonna have to do something. I think we might need those debbie cakes too. For extra energy. You reckon the doctor would be an asisstant coach? See yall later--Salty Dog

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4256: Merle, any Mom that apreceates Monty Python is A-OK in my book! You give her my best!
~ Mrs. Wiley (1/2 Englishter: my Mom's family's from Wales)

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4257: Salty Dog, I feel you are trying to give me the bums rush, just cause I'm trying to toughen you up. That cuts me, cuts me deeeep. Don't you see that that don't kill you, will make you stronger?
But if I'm being to tough on you gals I'll step aside. I know when I ain't wanted. Here you go...
One stop watch... One whistle, it's got a new pea in it... one ball cap... (sniff... honk...) I'll see you guy's later... (sniff.. sniff.. sniff)

Former coach Asa

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4258: Hello Asa and the gand. . .sorry I missed practice but with me having a sick son does that get me any pity. Well, my oldest is on yet another
r drug to try and reduce the swelling in his tonsils. My sister (The Nurse) wants me to make an appt. with an ENT to see if we need to get rid of them pesky little tonsils. We'll see!
It sounds like you all got into one rip roaring fight. . .now, now. . .what would Miss Crump have said if she had see you on the playground like that. . .I can see it now, either a whack or sentences. Take your pick! Asa - give us break, some of us are just a little (tug)(pull) out of shape. (is my girdle showing under this uniform?) (Snap. . .I guess not anymore) Ummm can we use slingshots on this here team? Just a thought.
If Little Debbies are out are Girl Scout Cookies in? Who cares about my figure. . just let em try and find first base with me sitting on it!

By the way, my daddy's family (from way back is from Wales and mixed with Cherokee when they got to the new country and my momma's family is GERMAN! Talk about your tempers!

Have a good evening!


January 08, 2002 - Msg 4259: Oops that should be Asa and the gang. . not gand unless it is the grand team!

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4260: Ok Asa, now don't go beating yourself up inside or nothing I didn't mean for you to take it personally. We just aint used to all this rough training. I ran an extra mile this evening to prove it. But you can't expect us to be good all the time. Valentines day candy is already out and before you know it, Easter candy will be here. Plus the little debbies that are out all year long. It's hard not to buy that stuff when you're in training. But I'll try to refrain myself. Later--Salty Dog

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4261: Now you're not no account Asa, you're not no account!

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4262: Please don't quit being our coach, Asa. We need you, man. I'm sorry I threatened to take you to court. And you're so right to be hard on us; if you give us 40 we'll take 45. Give us 45 we'll take 50. We knew it was gona be tough when we started. No more carefree hours, no more doing whatever we want. No more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
- Hazel

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4263: Awww, I'm just funnin with ya all. You don't think you can get rid of me that easy do you? I hope not. But be warned, It's gonne be tough, AND THEN IT'S GONNA GET TOUGHER. I reckon I ain't used to coaching women so I reckon I'll turn it down a notch. Salty Dog? could you please give me three push-ups, Please? When you get a minute of course. And I reckon we can allow Little Debbies back on the field, if you promise to drop them if a ball comes your way. That would be just swell.
So, how do you girls like me now? Is this better?
Sorry to hear about that young-un Homemaker. All three of my youngsters are minus tonsils though. I hope everything is ok with eveyone at your place.
Thanks for the support Hazel. You are a real trooper. So is Salty Dog and Mrs Wiley, man that girl can dance. Oh and Mavis, she has a real keen voice does she. Now we need to get new neighbor in here. She has been awol.


January 08, 2002 - Msg 4264: Grrrrrrr Mmmmmmmmm Owwwwwwwwww One! Grrruntttt....Two! Errrrrrrr Mmmmmmmmm Three!
Whew, OK (pant pant huff huff) All right there was three push ups. Now wheres my Pepsi? That gatorade aint cuttin it I gotta have my caffeine. Is that OK dear coach Asa? It's just Pepsi no cider or nothing. I din't know where Rock went with the crock for our water. Yall don't think..... Oh well. I'm off to bed now I'm plum tuckered out. Nite--Salty Dog

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4265: Evening Porch, just checking in to let ya'll know I'm still alive, got some problems going on here at home big time, but alive. If ya don't see me for a few days please don't worry, gotta get some stuff straighten out here at home & get my life back where I'm a happy person again, not been that for a while now & I'm gonna fix it one way or another. Tom I needed that there prayer tonight, helped me when I saw it, Thank you so much.

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4266: On the porch sat Tom Swift, waving to all the passerbys in Mayberry. He was sipping a lemonade on a warm summer night, wearing overalls and listening to the radio. Over the radio comes soft strains of guitar twanging, a mountainy version of Shostakovich. Tom sits back, shuts his eyes, and dreams.

January 08, 2002 - Msg 4267: Prayers go out to you Mavis. Please remember you have a lot of friends here.
Not bad Salty, i'll fetch you a pepsi. My drink of choice also.


January 09, 2002 - Msg 4268: Now dad gum it! Someone needs to do a little mellowing out around here. I thought this was not one of those camps where they take away all your goodies. Now Asa says we cant have hard cider or Little Debbie's. I dont want to go around making a big moulage out of every little thing, but I do believe this is a clear cut case of malfeasence.
You can come between me and alot of things Asa, but do not try to part me and my food, or my Mayberry. Got it! Now let's just "NIP IT! NIP IT IN THE BUD" We would hate to loose you Asa as you are just the CATS and the glue that holds this team together. I promise that next time someone hits a ball my way I will find a place for my Little Debbie so I can catch the ball. Just don't make me throw it down on the ground. That's like taking Otis' bottle and making him pour it out on the ground. It ain't right, it just ain't right I tell you.
Good luck again on the throat thing, homemaker.
Mavis darlin' you are in my prayers. Remember all those who love you here on the porch and even better remember Heavenly Father loves you and know what will really make you happy.
He's an on time God.
He may not be there when you WANT him,
But He'll be there right on time.

Fun Girl

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4269: Little Birdie to *Mavis: Drop the jerk and find somebody who will appreciate you for the warm, wonderful person you are. Little Birdie, over and out.

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4270: Good morning porch, off to work this morning. Asa I'll have to do my work out this afternoon. What time are we supposed to be at Mrs.WIleys? Can I bring anything? Everybody have a great day I'll see yall at practice tonight. Hope it's as fun as Asas party. Mavis, you take care girl. Just put it in Gods hands and He will work it out. He will never leave us stranded. He will always be there. See yall later--Salty Dog

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4271: ithinkiveheardjustaboutenough about them snack cakes! Mavis, I'm prayin for ya - get it straight. Asa, what a miraculous change in you! See, all you had to do was tone it back a notch for us womenfolk. Gollee, you was turned up all the way to 11!

I wonder how Gomer would feel about Marines today?
Gomer: "They's lookin fer that Osammer feller."

~ Mrs. Wiley

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4272: Good morning team. I was gonna get everyone up at 5 am for a 5 mile training run, but I thought the better of it. So instead if you get a chance today sometime, will you do three (3) jumping jacks, in a row if you could. And maybe a couple of toe touches, if it ain't to much. But DON'T DO IT if it is pushing ya beyond yer limits.
How's that Mrs. Wiley, now I'm a 2 I think.
Where is our Hazel this morning? Why ain't she hollered at us. It's like the sun ain't shined yet when she don't speak.
And where is New Neighbor hiding? I hope my early coaching transgressions didn't scare her off.
We meet at Mrs. Wiley's at 5:00 for practice. See you there. Bring a smile.


January 09, 2002 - Msg 4273: MERLE DEAN says "Hey"
Asa, ya never told me where yer folks were from ?
~Mrs. Wiley...I will never forget living in N.C. in the early 70's and the local PBS station started showing Monty Python....we just laughed and laughed."Ohhhhhhhhh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay..."
Mavis--do what's in your heart...you know what's right and what ain't. Take a moment to see what "YOU" want in life...then go get it.
That's what got me and the miss's back together.
I see something I go get it!
"Bless her heart"(Andy)

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4274: I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay. . .now that's some memories there Merle Dean.
Miss Mavis. . .I hope you are a happy person again soon. . .our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Asa - you are a bird in this world.


January 09, 2002 - Msg 4275: Mavis, Chin up! Things will get better, they always do. Snuggling up to those little Doxies will help make things to seem better! Your in my thoughts and prayer. :) :) :) :) Smiles just for you!
Asa, boy your tough! 5 miles? You're not getting us in shape, you're killing us! Tom thanks for the prayer. We couldn't do without those. I needed it too. I love James Harriott's books, my brother is a vet, so my son loves that connection to the books. Fun Girl, I love that song, On Time God, thanks for reminding me of God's timing is not always our own. Homemaker, I hope your young'un is better. Prayers to him too. Have a good day off SD!--Helen

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4276: Afternoon porch. Merle, my folks are from Shields and New Castle England. It is so neat to see all the porchters who love All Creatures Great and Small, and all of his other books. My wife says I am like Tristan. I don't know if thats good or bad.
Salty Dog, Homemaker, Helen have you done your 3 jumping jacks yet? Not pushing ya, just curious.
I spent the morning up at Park City doing some work, Oh them Olympics are gonna be fun. Ya'll come and spectate with me in person.


January 09, 2002 - Msg 4277: Yes Asa I did my 3 jumping jacks. And I'll be at Mrs. Wileys place at 5 on the button. Anything else? Just let me know. Your loyal player--Salty Dog

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4278: Asa, you really have cut us back. From 5 miles to 3 jumping jacks. I'm beginning to like this a little better. Wait a second.....Now, I've done my jumping jacks. I'll be there a five.Two questions. Do I have to work as hard since I'm a reserve? Do we where our uniforms tonite? Can we bring our Little Debbies? O.K. I know that was three questions, I didn't think it would hurt to ask.--Helen

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4279: Asa I not only did my three jumping jacks but I did three for Mavis since she isn' her perky self. Wouldn't want her out of shape for practice! Should i bring my son's medicine for us all, it speeds him up and it also makes him eat so that way the more little debbies we eat is okay because we will be on hyper speed. It is just a thought - remember to bring the pepsi - no gatorade for me!


January 09, 2002 - Msg 4280: Asa, I did my jumping jacks and toe touches. But I can't run laps - I hyperventilate. But I can run the distance of a base like greased lightnin' (really Barney, just like greased lightning?)I'm waitin for the team to show up...practicing on the pitch-back "BOING....thwap. BOING.....thwap"

~ Mrs. Wiley #8

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4281: Such loyalty, when just yesterday it looked so bleak and dark for my coaching future. Thanky so much for your backing me up girls. And ain't you the nice one Homemaker, exercising for Mavis when she's down some. I don't have you down as sub Helen, you are a full timer, rover. And uniforms are optional for tonight.
Mrs. Wiley, if you get to hyperventilating I'll give you mouth to mouth. I'm trained in such things. TRUST ME... hee hee hee.
See you all in a bit.


January 09, 2002 - Msg 4282: Salty Dog. Sorry i was late bring the crock. You see I took a few drinks out of it on my way to practice and then "Happy new Year". I've been over at Andy's taking cold showers and drinking coffee. I understand that the Governor is comming down to practice and shake Asa's hand. As soon as Otis comes back to the jail I'll fill up the crock again and bring it to practice.

The Rock

"Cold showers?" ( Barney)
"Cold showers". (Andy)

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4283: The govenors... coming here? To shake my hand? Bless his heart. Well Rock if I cant have the crock, I'll just make do with my pepsi. But now if I don't get my pepsi I'm no good to anyone. Asa, I want you to know I got all the confidence in the world in you. Later--Salty Dog

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4284: Salty Dog, your a treashure for sure. I tell you what Rock, lets fill up that crock with pepsi on Salty's behalf. How does pepsi sound for the team drink girls? Works for me.
Hazel said she was gonna be late cause she has piano lessons. I reckon I'm gonna have to go talk to her Ma about changing her schedule.
Mavis, We miss you and are praying for a good outcome to your situation. The porch just ain't the same without you.


January 09, 2002 - Msg 4285: Asa, if God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. I did 6 jumping jacks though. But not in a row.
- Hazel

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4286: Hey I second that motion to make pepsi the official team drink. All in favor? Maybe our team slogan could be "got Pepsi?" Yall have a good evening. I gotta be at 5 again in the morning:(
But I'll try to work in a few jumping jacks somewhere. Later--Salty Dog

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4287: You people are just the best! You know that! I know I can count on all my proch family to be there for me, things here have calmed down some, but it ain't where it should be. I did my jumping jacks but since homemaker done 3 for me does that mean I get to skip them tomorrow? Little Birdie thank you & I am working on doing just that! Breaks my heart, but gotta do what ya gotta do. Ya'll can have Pepsi, but I'll bring my Mountain Dew if ya don't mind.

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4288: Make that my pORch family not proch, what is a proch anyway???

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4289: Hello Fellow Porchsters: I do apologize for not posting for quite a while, but I have been working double shifts at work, housework, family, kids, etc. Need I say more? I have missed everyone and spend a hour catching up on the postings. Thanks for the concerns and prayers. We're OK just busy. Still love ya'll. ~New Neighbor

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4290: Mavis, isn't a proch a pin that ladies wear? Like the one Aunt Bea Lost? ~ Mrs. Wiley. diet pepsi OK?

January 09, 2002 - Msg 4291: Hey, Mountain Dew is cool too. If I really need a caffeine rush thats what I grab. New Neighbor, it's about time you get back on the porch. Have you been trying to get out of our training? Hmmmm? Asa isn't really all that bad, he just tries to make us think so. He's really a big ol softie. Well I'm off to bed. See yall in the morning. I'll fix some coffee before I leave and I'll try to be real quiet. Nite Porch--Salty Dog

"Whats the matter with Asa...He's Okay!"

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4292: Morning porch. Good to have you back, New Neighbor. Don't be such a stranger. And hang in there, Mavis. We're behind you no matter what. I don't care if you all drink pepsi and diet pepsi but I can't drink that stuff; it's bad for my liver.
- Hazel

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4293: Hazel, Hazel,Hazel. You finally got done with piano practice? We missed you out here yesterday. What can I get you to drink if you don't want pepsi? No cider.
Welcome back N.N. Thought we was gonna send Blue out after ya.
I heard them sing that about Barn last night Salty. Thanks. I'm glad your not mad at me.
Well I'm off to Olympic villge this morning to do a job. Security is mighty tight around here. I would hate to be a bad guy trying to get away with something.
See ya later today


January 10, 2002 - Msg 4294: Wow Asa - at the Olympic village! Make sure that your bullet is ready. You better practice unbuttoning your shirt pocket really fast and then you need to practice your drawing technique. Maybe Goober and Otis can help you secure the "parameter."
Mavis since I did your jumping jacks maybe you could do my situps! Fair is fair. . .

homemaker #33

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4295: Mornin'. I could hardly get out of bed this morning. All of this workin' out has really got to me. I have already done half of a sit-up today. I got out of bed. I'll do the other half tonight when I go to bed. Where's Romeena? I hope she didn't start runnin' and didn't know when to stop. Good to hear from you NN. Been missin' ya. Asa, now don't you be fallin' asleep guardin' those Olympic Games ya' hear. Keep a good eye out.
More smiles for you Mavis. :):):):) --Helen #88

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4296: Happy Birthday to Maggie Peterson-Mancuso..our darling person.
Greetings Porch,

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4297: MERLE DEAN says "Hey"
New Neighbor---good to see ya
Mavis---great to hear from you too
My little lovely came back from her biz trip last night....YIPEE
Hope you have a wonderful day one and all !
"AHHHHHHH, Nutsy here..."(Barney)

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4298: Good day to all my porch friends, It is actually warm here for a change. Is everybody getting geared up for the weekend? Hey, Asa, can we party at your house again? Your sure can throw a bash man! I did my jumping jacks today. But I like Helens version of the sit ups better. I can do arm curl ups too. With my can of pepsi. Does that count as lifting weights too Asa? hee hee. Yall have a great day and act like somebody now!--Salty Dog

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4299: I think you can do better than a can Salty. Fun Girl and Homemaker are culing them 44 ounce pepsi's. Build up to it slowly though. You don't want to hurt nuthin.
Good to see ta Merle Dean. Are you having a warm by the fire?
Where has Ollie been lately. And jennieboone, we would like to hear from you more. And Miss Ellie, where are you hiding. What about Mrs. Von Roeder, she ain't posted in ages. We miss you guys. Join us please.


January 10, 2002 - Msg 4300: Funny you should mention the Olympics. Interesting article here in our local paper, the Idaho Statesman. "Boise company to supply toilets for Winter Games". I guess we have a company here who is supplying all the porta-potties for the big event. Now that's BIG.
- Hazel

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4301: OH Big aint the word for it.

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4302: How do you do, Mrs. Wiley...

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4303: Evening PORch (note the spelling)I did my jumping jacks again & I did a sit up for homemaker I did lift a 25 pound cat today & fought him to give him shots, does that count for weight lifting?? Well off to bed, gotta work again tomorrow. Wonder what causes that?
*Mavis #3

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4304: Very well, thank you 4302, now...go and dance with Ramona! ~ Mrs. Wiley

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4305: I put my bucket on & took a thank under that & I figured out BILLS is what causes that!!
go ahead, take a thank under thar

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4306: check!

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4307: Hey Mavis, can I borry your bucket. I need it too. Had to get up at 5 the past two mornings. I need to know what caused that too! Where'd our master coach get off to? I hope he aint left us again. I cant play without a coach. Nite Porch--Salty Dog #2

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4308: I'm righcheer. How is the porch tonite? Poor old Salty Dog must be tuckered right out, poor dear.
Glad to hear from ya Mavis. Hope all is well. Glad yer keeping in the spirit of things.
So Hazel, your sending us yer port-a-potties huh? Hope you guys up there in Idyho don't have some kind of disaster and are in need of them while we got em all tied up. That could be devastating.
Well gotta hit the hay, Big day tomorrow. Practice is at 5 at Mrs. Wiley's. See ya there.


January 10, 2002 - Msg 4309: not to mention smelly!

January 10, 2002 - Msg 4310: Is that a.m. or p.m.?--SD

January 11, 2002 - Msg 4311: Good morning Mayberry....

January 11, 2002 - Msg 4312: Mornring Floyd. Nive to see you.
Thats p.m. S.D. I feared if it was a.m. Hazel would be the only one show up. She's one of them early bird worm catching type of people.
We made it to friday, now if we can just make it THROUGH friday we will have it made. So heres wishing a great day for everyone on the porch.


January 11, 2002 - Msg 4313: MERLE DEAN says "Hey"
Sick as a dog but having the time of my life...here at work today. Gotta a headache that is just stickin' with me this morning.
I'm gonna do an incant later and see if'n I can make it go away.
Hope everyone enjoys their weekends.
I know I will be doing some yardwork...yipee
and then go out and read the funnies on Sunday mornin' in my rocker...."Mind your foot I'm rockin' forward"
"HIS DADDY!" (Sgt. Carter)

January 11, 2002 - Msg 4314: "Now, let me do a hard one: 25 and 25 (tapitytapitytapitytapity) 50!"

Mornin Floyd, Asa. I have me a houseguest this weekend and lucky me, I got the ironing board! My back is so stiff and I didn't sleep a wink, not a wink. And, she didn't bring her goose-down pillow - so I gave her mine. Fair warning Team, I may be a bit CRABBY at practice.

~ Mrs. Wiley
you know me if I don't get my 8 hours...irritable.

January 11, 2002 - Msg 4315: I thought that the potty jokes were all flushed out of here when I had potty patrol. Asa, are you important enough to get to do potty patrol? I am sure I could give you a few tips at successful patroling!
Okay, I did my laps this morning - I walked around the house once and I considered my sit up to be getting out of bed! :}

Well everyone have a great weekend!


January 11, 2002 - Msg 4316: I told you that Mrs. Wiley could dance, didn't I?
Tapping out her additions is a real treat for us on the porch.
Homemaker, I hope you saved a little for practice tonight. We need you 100%.
Thats a tough one on the headache Merle. Try soaking it in warm water. Well... maybe not.


January 11, 2002 - Msg 4317: I haven't been here in a while. Looks like I missed a wild party and 2 practices. What kind of penalty is there for missing practices, Asa? I'm glad you're the milder Asa now. I'm not sure I could do 5 miles in a golf cart. :-) Hope everyone is doing fine.

January 11, 2002 - Msg 4318: Mrs. Wiley is really getting in shape with all that adventure sleeping and such. Yeah, I have been doing arm curls with a 2 liter Coca Cola in one hand and a Little Debbie in the other. Plus all the running I do around the lunch room at school I am in prime shape. (By the way, is there any way we can do alterations on our uniforms, as in making them bigger. Mine seems to have shrunk. hee hee) Been busy and haven't been to the porch as much as I would like. Miss ya'll.
Fun Girl

January 11, 2002 - Msg 4319: Howdy, friends! Tom, your poem a couple of days ago was lovely - thank you so much. Mavis, prayers for you, hon. Take it to the Lord, listen, then follow His lead.
No, Helen, I didn't forget and keep on runnin'. But you know how the runnin' trail passes by Old Man Kelsey's woods? Those cool, inviting, restful woods? Well.....let's just say I didn't lose too much sweat on that run.
I think I'm gonna beg off the running and training. Don't have to be in too good shape to sell refreshments, and my old bod just won't take it. Besides, somebody has to watch out for our mascot, and it should be me, her mom.
Well, I finally did it! When KSTR-TV, my TAGS channel, went to all Spanish programming, and AT&T Cable didn't care enough to pick up TV Land to replace it, I just dropped 'em and got a dish. Now I can get TV Land and TAGS several times a day. Love it, just love it! Got four (yep, 4) receivers so anyone watching TV in this house can watch what they want, not controlled by any other TV. Cost a couple of coins, but spread it over the next several years of good TV, and it'll be well worth it. Monthly rate is less than cable, by the way.
Well, here I go. Gotta get home and cuddle with the Plum. Been gone most of the day. Have a good evening, friends.--Romeena

January 11, 2002 - Msg 4320: Hey Romeena, Tilley, and Fun Girl. Good to see ya.
You can't go wrong with that dish Roomena. I got mine several years ago and I think it beats cable all to heck.
Maybe yer uniform is shrinking in the wash Fun Girl. Seems like a lot of the team is having that problem. Hmmmmmm, started right after I calmed down. Wonder what cause that?
Welcome back Tilley. I thought I had scared you off with my intense coaching ways. Glad yer back and no penalties, this time. Hee hee hee.
Well gotta go watch Andy now. Bye.


January 11, 2002 - Msg 4321: Hello porch friends. How is everyones Friday going? Asa I have a confession to make. For some strange reason, a box of my favorite Valentine candy (the little sour conversation hearts) wound up in my shopping basket tonight. I don't understand how that happened but it did. Well not being one to waste any food. I had to keep it. I promise to do better. I'll do exrta jumping jacks tomorrow. Ro, I agree with ya. I've had my dish for 5 years now because we live so far up in the sticks, the cable service won't get us. But it is cheaper. You give our mascot some extra cuddle time tonight. Yall have a good evening. I'll see ya after Andy goes off. I wish they had an Andy channel. All andy all the time wouldn't that be nice? Later--Salty Dog

"Must be the fall out...It's affecting our milk!"

January 11, 2002 - Msg 4322: nite porch!

January 11, 2002 - Msg 4323: Hey, knew to the board. I'm 27 years old, brought up on Andy (as was my 23 y.o. brother) and bringing my son up on him as well. I consider it the greatest show in the history of television, and that is no exaggeration. To me, The Andy Griffith Show was the precursor for character driven shows as far reaching as Seinfeld. In fact, I think many fans would be surprised at the college aged fan base that appreciate its comedy as much as any show they have followed. My wife and former roomate had never watched the show and now watch it every chance they get. Anyway, I'm preaching to the chior here. If anyone knows if there is a complete set of episodes on DVD, I sure would like to have it. Please email me at SeminoleJM@yahoo.com.

January 11, 2002 - Msg 4324: Try Amazon.com They have several DVDs of TAGS!

January 11, 2002 - Msg 4325: Hi, folks. Yep, I'm enjoying that dish. My son called this evening, and asked me if I got the "PVR" receiver. Dumb ol' me, didn't know what it was, but when he told me I called DishNetwork and ordered one! It's an upgrade of the receivers I bought, and is $$, so just will have it on my own set in my bedroom. It records like a VCR when you set it, but then it remembers what you recorded, and if it spots another similar thing (like another TAGS episode) coming up, it'll just turn its little self on and record it, and then leave you a note so's you'll know it did it! Now, that's really just a little scary, don't you think? Anyhow, I ordered it. Didn't cost any more than a new VCR, and my old one is rickety anyway. Laawww, what's next?
The Plum will get her cuddle time, never fear. She's hard to ignore. She plunks her little self in my lap, gazes up at me through her drooping topknot (that's when I call her Tallulah) and I just melt. She's a sweetie, that puppy. Sure looks cute in her little mascot suit. Almost as cute as when she wears her lifejacket and visor hat to ride my son's Seadoo with me. Been trying to find her some little sunglasses, but no luck yet. They'd have to be awfully little.
Welcome, SeminoleJM! Choose yourself a TAGS handle and stick around. Lots of really nice folks in this CyberMayberry of ours. Run a couple of name choices by us, and we'll tell you if someone is already using them. Hey, the Indian guy in one of the eps - was he a Seminole? And was his name Joe? It's late, and I can't find my bucket, so can't think too well. Anyway, you could be Seminole Joe??
G'nite, friends. Gonna go watch another favorite show now that I have TV Land -- Barney Miller! Doesn't compare to TAGS, but was a good show. Original and creative.--Romeena

January 12, 2002 - Msg 4326: Morning Porch! Romeena, congrats on the dish - you lucky thing!! You must be in tv heaven. Don't be skeert of the new technology, remember phones before dialing? (although it did put Sarah out of a job...) FG, them uniforms are silk and crushed velvet - mussn't wash them regular, have to soak em...soak em alot in cold water and dry flat. Lordy, do you need a new one? Salty, I'm glad you didn't throw away those message hearts. You're right as rain, the government dosn't want us to waste food. Here's a tip: if you leave the little hearts out in the hot sun long enough, they get real hard and you can glue them on paper and make cards or other decorative objects. "GM says, stale candy hearts put my daughter thru beauticians school."

~ Mrs. Wiley
"I think Mrs. Wiley's a NUT!"

January 12, 2002 - Msg 4327: Asa, I promise I won't miss any more practices. You put a fear in me with that "no penalties this time".

Romeena, thanks for the info on the DISH PVR. Mr. Tilley and I got the DISH Network a little over a year ago and we hate this receiver. Didn't work nothing like our old DirectTV. Come to find out, the folks that installed it brought an old receiver that lacks a bunch of features we like. BUNCHES, BUNCHES I'll tell the mister about that new fandangled receiver. That sounds like it's right up his alley. "You just go up an alley and holler fish."

Mrs. Wiley, I loved your quote! Gave me a good laugh. Have you tried growing mushrooms? hehe

Mavis, I'm sorry to hear you're having some troubles, but I think you've gotten some great advice, so I won't add my two cents. Good luck to ya girl. A big howdy! to everyone elst I didn't name by name.

Welcome to Seminole. Pull up a chair and stay.

January 12, 2002 - Msg 4328: Afternoon porch! Just stopping by on my way to Wally World to say hey to ya'll. HEY! I'll see ya'll later.Seminole Welcome, grab a rocker & commense to rockin! Romeena try going to www.neserum.com for them sunglasses for the Plum. If I think of anymore places I'll let ya know. Off to shop!

January 12, 2002 - Msg 4329: Good afternoon porch! Hows the weekend going? I gotta work a little while! I must have made Asa mad when I bought candy. He aint even been back to the porch! Oh well I won't cook, I won't have a 100 watt bulb please take me back! Yall have a good evening. Later--Salty Dog

January 12, 2002 - Msg 4330: Hey to everyone on the porch. I recognize some of you but there are a lot I don't. I haven't posted in a while and y'all might not even remember me but I would like to start chatting with you again. I am still taking care of my Dad in my home, he has alzheimers. I have a new 3 week old grandson, my first, that I am so proud of. I hope to introduce him to TAGS when he gets old enough. Hope everyone has a great weekend! pinkcloud

January 12, 2002 - Msg 4331: I ain't mad at you S.D. How could I be. Just give the candy to me and I will hold it till the season is over, promise. Where on earth is Hazel been hiding? Don't make me come looking for you. And you either N.N. Ya'll better start posting or your gonna hurt my feelers. I hate hurt feelers.
How are you doing Mavis? I have this problem with hair growing on the outside edges of my ears Mavis. So last night when I was trying to shave them with my razor I barely nicked my ear, just a scratch, and I tell ya I bled fer the next hour. Not a little mind ya but a whole bunch. I could'nt get it to stop. So I decided to have you trim my ears if you would. You do them puppies all the time and I don't bite like them. I may tremble a little but I don't bite. Think it over, would ya?
My little Doxie, Sammy has to go get some teeth yanked out on wednesday. Poor little critter. I told him he should floss, but you think he'll listen to me? Does SugarPlum floss Romeena?
Hi Tilley, Don't let me scare ya none. My bark is worse than my bite, and my looks is worse than my bark. So you are safe.
Well gotta run now, ya'll be safe. Later


January 12, 2002 - Msg 4332: We musta posted at the same time pinkcloud. Welcome to the porch and jump in anytime. Do you play softball? We gotta team you know.


January 12, 2002 - Msg 4333: Hi porch. Sorry I aint been on. I just haven't had much to say. My daughter is moving out this weekend and I'm feelin pretty low. I just worry about her. You know how sensitive I am. Although it has occurred to me that since she's moving out anyway, I might just as well use her closet for some of my clothes. And I might just put my exercise bike in her room. Probably should get a TV to hook up in there too. Hmmmmm. But I'm still gona be depressed, mind you.
- Hazel

Barney: "If you don't sell it to me (ice cream soda), I'll just get it somewhere else."

January 12, 2002 - Msg 4334: Hazel... Glad to see ya again. We been missing yer being here. That is a toughie when them young-uns think they gotta grow up and leave the nest egg. But she will be fine, I'm sure. Don't be depressed, ok? If'n you want I'll let you trim my ear hairs instead of Mavis. She'll understand, and I know it will perk you right up. Then after that we can mosy on over to Salty's store and git us a pop and call her names. She always likes that, and so do you. Then we'll go to Romeena's and play with SugarPlum for a bit. let her lick yer face for a spell. Then over to Mrs. Wiley's. I hear she's putting on one of them dignified type party's tonight. Then on to N.N. place to pet her bufallo. You know that always cheers ya up. Sound like a deal?


January 12, 2002 - Msg 4335: Could we walk over to the Grand and watch them change the marquee too?
- Hazel

January 12, 2002 - Msg 4336: Come on over Porchsters. Ya'll always welcome. ~New Neighbor

January 12, 2002 - Msg 4337: Hey to everyone! Sick as a dog here but havin' the time of my life. Actually I am getting better. Still hacking, though. Came down with it on New Year's Eve and didn't even get to celebrate. Oh well, I've seen well over 40 of 'em now, so nothing new.
pinkcloud, great to see you again after all this time!
*Mavis, my best wishes and prayers to you and yours. Hey to everyone!

January 12, 2002 - Msg 4338: Hey Yall, Hows it going? Welcome to pinkcloud. Don't be a stranger now. Asa, I promise I'll do better, but when candy mysteriously just winds up in my basket what can I do? It was a little box though. I am up to a 6 pack of pepsi on my curls so I'm doing better. Mavis, did you buy out Wally world? I've got to go tomorrow so I hope you left me something! Hope you feel better Des. Have a good evening everyone! Later--Salty Dog

January 12, 2002 - Msg 4339: Dež and Pinkcloud! Great to see you both!!! Dež, I can't believe that you've seen over 40 New Years. Why, you post like you're in your 30's and not afraid to admit it! How are those twin tornadoes of yours? And Pinkcloud, of course I remember you. I've thought about you many times, and wondered how you are. It's so nice to have you back home on this porch. Finally, Miss Mavis, if a hairy eared coach shows up on your porch, I'd send him to see Floyd! Hey to JennieBoone. How's the new shop? Romeena, we'd love to see a picture of your Sugarplum. Saw on the news about what your grandson is doing for us in Cuba. He's in my prayers. Well, I don't think I've ever been this windy, so I'll let someone else have this rocker.
"Andy, what's wrong with your eeeeeyyyyyyyeeeee?"