February 01, 2002 - Msg 4790: Mornin' porchsters: It's so foggy, I can't see who's out here... hhhmmmm have to wait 'til the fog clears to find my chair! Be back later...~New Neighbor

February 01, 2002 - Msg 4791: Hey, who's been cleaning around here? Morning Porch. Hi N.N. Big game today girls, hope we are ready. Helen, don't wear yer wig to this one ok? It always gits in yer eyeballs and makes ya go crazy.
You gonna play Mavis? Hows yer finger and back doing?
Well off to work fer me. Lots to do and little time to do it.


February 01, 2002 - Msg 4792: Mornin', folks! Beautiful day on this end of the porch. Clear, sunshine, and cold - 37 degrees. That's cold for Texas.
Mr. Rock, it's true. Kitty bites can be just awful, especially if it's a cat that goes outside. Strictly indoor cats aren't quite as infectious. Guess when they go outside and eat strange things, they pick up more germs. I think folks should keep their kitties inside all the time, for the sake of the local small critters, as well as the cats themselves, but that's just my opinion. My daughter-in-law has a huge, sweet and loving old neutered Tom, and he's a joy. Just lays around like a doorstop unless there's an available lap. Now, that's my kind of cat. He won't even play with Sugarplum, much to her disgust.
Well, I'm off - got to get some tile for my entryway. Still remodeling/redecorating, but just about to finish up. Have a lovely day, everyone.--Romeena

"I won't need a gun, Barn. Fluffy and me's been friends for years!"

February 01, 2002 - Msg 4793: Welcome back SD! *Ted, I don't believe I've met you before so welcome to the porch (or are you an oldie from the other porch or are you the prisoner with numbers. . .I am so cornfused!)

Well coach, I hate to tell you but i wrenched my knee again. . .I would have told you sooner but I was afraid you thought I got hurt raiding a little debbie truck or something. Actually I hurt it hauling wood and then the next day it was rammed by one of our billygoats (no he isn't loaded but he soon will be because he is to be sold!) Maybe I can just sit on first base and trip the players as they go around.

Helen - you did mighty fine on Matlock this morning. You lookedgood giving ol Matlock a talking to.

Well - I'll stop jabbering. . .

Greetings to the porchsters!


February 01, 2002 - Msg 4794: Hope your hip and finger are feeling better soon Mavis. . .cortisone shots in your foot are no picnic either! homemaker

February 01, 2002 - Msg 4795: Where is everyone this afternoon??? I bet everyone is resting up for the big game . . .good idea!
Remember to wear your Cutlass Cats Suspenders . . .I hope everyone got their pair at Weavers. They are bonafide!


February 01, 2002 - Msg 4796: Good afternoon Porch, getting back home from work. Just in time for the big game tonight. It's gonna be big, real big. OK girls, lets show em we know how to play softball now. Mavis, you take it easy tonight, we can handle it. Sit back with yer Mt. Dew and a few little Debbies. Or better yet, try to keep Hazel and Rock out of the crock. Wheres Asa, we need his weekly pep talk before the game. And I have been trying to get caught back up to date but have I missed TOM? We need our team Chaplain too. It is a beautiful 70 degrees on my porch, I hope to get a little fishing in before the game tonight. See yall there!! --Salty Dog

February 01, 2002 - Msg 4797: Afternoon folks. Since I'm new to town, I don't want to give wrong impressions, like I'm a prisoner or something (or even a "Girl Camper of America"), so let me take a stab at picking a name. How about Hilda May? I don't remember too many episodes with her, but I do know she sent sweet Christmas cards and called Barney Barney Poo. Is that name taken?

I also need to find out when the next try-outs are for the Cutlass Cats. I ain't much on swingin a bat, but I got lots of team spirit.


February 01, 2002 - Msg 4798: Happy Friday to the porch! Did you all know there's a Mayberry marathon scheduled for this Sunday from noon till 6:00 pm on WGN? Just passing along the news.

February 01, 2002 - Msg 4799: Howdy Porch. Emma I did not know about that marathon. Thank you so much for the heads up though. Great news to hear.
#4715, I don't know of anyone else calling themselves Hilda May so I reckon that works, course I ain't the man around here, Floyd is. So Floyd, if you read this will you respond please?
Ya'll ready fer the big game? Sorry about yer knee homemaker. What are we gonna do? Thank goodness Salty's back, but she's rusty ya know. I think its all them pepsi's she's been drinkin.
Oh by the way Hilda May, know tryouts neede. Just show up and be ready to play.


February 01, 2002 - Msg 4800: I was wondering, how could Ernest T. Bass
send those eloquent notes attached to rocks when he
couldn't write!!
Hi to Mayberry. Is it cold where you are.

February 01, 2002 - Msg 4801: So far as I know..we don't have a Hilda Mae(or May) around here so it's sure find with me.

Emma - The marathon on WGN is ONLY for folks that live in Chicago. It's not on the national version of WGN.


February 01, 2002 - Msg 4802: Why, that's scandalous! There oughta be a LAW against it! I didn't even know they could DO something like that...choose just to show it to some viewers and not others. Well, I guess it's good news for folks living in Chicago and bad news for the rest of us. I'm sorry for falsifyin'...you and Otis might like to falsify but I don't like to falsify. Thanks for setting me straight, Floyd. I guess I'll just get out my tapes on Sunday...I can't face a Super Bowl Sunday without a Mayberry marathon.

February 01, 2002 - Msg 4803: Doggone it. I was looking forward to that to. The superbowl don't interest me to much this year, and an Andy marathon would be just right. Oh well.


February 01, 2002 - Msg 4804: hey to the Porch....Emma, I am looking forward to the game, since I LOVE anything St. Louis...
I'm hoping it'll pretty much be over by the 2nd half,
so I can watch my tapes, too...
I'm just split right down the middle 'twixt those two loves...

Jelsik T. Bulkhead

February 01, 2002 - Msg 4805: Hey guys, hows everybody doing? Welcome to ya Hilda May, hope you enjoy yourself out here. We need some team spirit too. Just watch it, that coach of ours can be a little tough sometimes but all in all he's fun(when he's awake)hee hee. Well it's just not fair that people in Chicago are the only ones to get to see TAGS, looks like the NC folks would have more privelege than that. I think we should have a TAGS channel. Don't they always have a tags marathon somewhere on Superbowl Sunday for us non-football people? I always remember one, after I got my dish, anyways. Well I didn't mean to ramble on so, got to get up early in the morning and go to work. If it aint too cold I'm going fishing too since I'm SO rusty at softball maybe I can work on my casting hee hee. Nite porch I'll be real quiet in the morning--Salty Dog

February 01, 2002 - Msg 4806: Hey everybody! Welcome Hilda May! I like the name. Salty Dog good luck fishin' in the morning those fishes will probably be divin' deep on these cold mornins', or do they stay on top? I don't remember. Asa, you just think that's a wig, actually it's Sugarplum. I just stick her under my hat after she brings me a snack then I run her on over to Fun Girl. Hopefully we'll get to see some of a marathon Sunday. Between church and eatin' and a piano recital I probably couldn't see much anyway. I hope you folks can find one. Emma, you're just so full of info. Thanks for keeping us up to date on things. We miss you Tom! Mavis, we'll make up our minds about getting our dachshund a baby brother doxie tomorrow. I'll let you know. Thanks for the encouragement. I sure hope your hand is better. Nite all--Helen

February 01, 2002 - Msg 4807: I was in Chicago last weekend and remember hearing that the TAGS marathon would be on..and I was all keyed up thinking I'd have that to look forward to THIS weekend..RATS! Thank goodness for tapes.

February 01, 2002 - Msg 4808: Howdy, folks! It feels good to set and rest a spell after that game. What a barnburner! Helen, I'm glad to know where Sugarplum's been disappearing to. I've been afraid someone was trying to kidnap our mascot. Now I know she's been under your hat! Well, at least it keeps her out of mischief, 'cause she'll do anything to try to help us win a game.
Mavis, how's that hand? Salty, it's good to have you back. Hilda May, welcome aboard. This is a great group of folks, and if you love TAGS, why you'll just fit right in! Asa, do we have a spot open on the team? If not, I can always use some help with the concessions.
Gonna grab a few winks and get up early and make a big old breakfast for everyone. Scrambled eggs and homemade salsa, lots of bacon, wheat toast with real butter, and some fresh OJ. Coffee, of course! I'll make a lot, so everyone come on by.--Romeena

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4809: Wish that I had time to set out here with you today, but have a lot to do. Today is the day that my daughter is getting married, so maybe tomorrow I can come back and set a while with you. In the mean time keep my chair warm. bj

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4810: Salty, time to get up to go get the line wet. Come on by and I'll give you a thermos of coffee, hot chocolate or Pepsi to take. Bundle up, it'll be cold! bj congratulations to your daughter,be sure to come back and sit with us a while and tell us about the wedding. Romeena, I've should have told you about Sugarplum under the hat. Just didn't want her to get run over out there. You know how crazy it gets with Hazel and Rock running to the ole crock.I'll be over for breakfast as soon as SD comes by. I want to try some of that Texas salsa. I'll brang the Alabama grits!--Helen

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4811: Morning, porch. Breakfast sounds good, Romeena. Those are all my favorites. I'll be right over. I won't be able to stay long, though. Today is Groundhogs day, and I want to celebrate. Anybody seen the Morrison sisters?
- Hazel

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4812: Hazel- The Morrison Sisters are over here at my house. We'll be over as soon as we're done. They came over early to get a head start on the day. Just cant let a good holiday like GroundHogs day pass us by. We done started the celebrating! (Hiccup) Hey Coach, after that bad game last night,we hafta find something to celebrate! (I didn't mean to peg that umpire with my fast ball and knock him out!) He was a bit riled when he came to.-- Body can hold a grudge I tell ya. Gives new meaning to the name- SoreHead! See ya at breakfast Romeena. bj are the darlin's singing at the wedding? ~New Neighbor

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4813: Mornin' porch,
I'm behind on all the gossip cause I ain't been online fer a few days. That trivia question about Ben weaver's car...his side view mirror was missing. And I'm not the king of trivia, I jest like to ask questions I think you can't answer.

TV Land will show tags from 7-10 on Sunday I beleive. Beats nothing!

Well, anyway, hello to all and I'll see y'all in church. I'm going to sing tommorrow so don't miss it! I'm practicing "Leaning On The Everlasting Arms" but so far all I can do is move my lips, but I'm learning the words.

Newton Monroe

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4814: Morning porch. Well we suffered our first loss last night, didn't we? Too bad cause we should have won. But with Mavis and Homemaker injured, Salty being all rusty, N.N. snoozing and Hazel and Rockette boozing, the odds were jest to high. Oh and A Pathy has set in to. Don't you think? One of the worst things a team can have is A Pathy. Even Plumpster was to pooped out to help. And Helen with her wig, I tell ya, I don't know what to do with her. So we learn from our mistakes and move on.
Newton, I sure hope ya'll sing better than ya paint, thats all I know. Don't you let A Pathy set in now.
Hey to b.j. Ya'll come back now.
Romeena, that breakfast sounds great. I'm on my way over to. We can take down the rest of them lights ifin you want.
Where is Mavis and Mrs. Wiley?
Well gotta go eat, so see ya gang.


February 02, 2002 - Msg 4815: Good 02/02/02 morning Porch! Asa, I've been soaking my knee after that game. Caught a bouncing base hit with it (ouch). After that, I was plum worthless. Maybe Hilda May can fill in fer me. Hilda, you go on and pick a number for yourself, I'll run you up a uniform. Go on... just pick one... go on Hilda... now's the time... don't blow it! (wasn't Milda May the one Barney walked to Church, because it was on the way?)

Emma, that was a good call, I got all keyed up and ready to run out and buy some tapes. You know what I'm gonna do? Check WGN anyway. This no TVLand is really startin to rile me. Might have to get me a side job to swing it. I'd be such a happier person!

Hey to Romeena, Mavis, Plumster, Hazel, homemaker, Salty (glad yer back online girl!), Newton, TOM, NN, Helen, bj, jennie, Jelsic and Floyd!

~ Mrs. Wiley
"soak it. soak it alot."

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4816: Mornin' to the porch. I tried to make a good call, Mrs. Wiley, about WGN. At least we do have TV Land's Box Set on Sunday night like Newton Monroe said. I just happened to see something on tv this morning about two ladies who shred tires and make clothing out of the shredded rubber...just like Mrs. Mendlebright making those seat covers and floor mats and other attractive items. They showed some of the clothing on tv...and I don't think Mrs. Mendlebright would've made anything quite like THAT. Those dresses were PRET-TY skimpy...looked like they'd been made from tires that had done a LOT of driving.

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4817: Morning Porch! Sorry I wasn't able to help ya'll out at the game, but I just can't stand that glove on my hand right now. The hand is much better, still a little sore, but better. My back, now that is a whole nother story all together, if Rock & Hazel would quit hogging that crock, maybe, just maybe, I could get thru it!
Off to a Home Interior Party! See ya'll afterwhile.

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4818: Emma it is so good to see you posting again! How is that grandbaby??

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4819: Hey to the porch -
Emma, what channel was that on? I'm kinda interested in sort of thing. You know, some of the photography on those shows is REAL good and they are so well written and all .....

Milton P. Oliver

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4820: Oh, I see, Milton P. You just want to watch that show for the articles. Yeah, some of that can be real educational.
- Hazel

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4821: ..and they use a really good lens on those cameras Milton....
you can even read some of the writing on those tires...
look at this one...a pretty "Goodyear", don't you think?


February 02, 2002 - Msg 4822: Good afternoon porch, had to work a while today so I missed that wonderful breakfast but it sounded good! Especially the homemade salsa I've always wanted to make some myself. OK now guys don't go beating yourselves up inside over our first lost. The best thing to do is to talk. It's therapetic you know. Just get it all out right now. But we'll do better next time. When is practice this week Asa? If I'm not all rusted up I'll be there.Well ya'll have a good evening. I'm goin fishin and then going to play bingo tonight. What a evening!! Later--Salty Dog

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4823: Jelsik, did you have to turn that page sideways to see it good? ~ Mrs. Wiley (snickersnicker)

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4824: I thought they looked a little TIRED though. (hahahaha)
Hi Salty. How was work you poor dear?
Hi Mrs. Wiley. How are youu?



February 02, 2002 - Msg 4825: Good Evening. . .well the ribs are in the oven and I'll soon be outting on the fries and making the salad. I took 5 to see what was "rockin" on the porch. Asa, I tried to trip as many players as I could. Welcome Hilda Mae! Glad to have you rockin with us. We are a clever bunch!
Glad to hear you are some better Mavis. . .and glad to see Jelsik show his words again. . .SD - you just watch out for them Bingo parlors - you'll need to sing a few choruses of Leaning on the Everlasting Arms tomorrow.

P.s.Mavis - buy something for me!


February 02, 2002 - Msg 4826: Mavis, I've enjoyed being here again and seeing everybody. You've been out gettin' yourself a little inarculated, haven't you? (like when the doctor gives you a shot) Well, I hope you get to feeling better soon. I love it when that iron door clangs shut on Barney and Andy says to him "You got yourself a little incarcerated, didn't you?" I believe that's how he said it. My little grandson is fine and still the cutest little fella I've ever met. MPO, I can't remember what channel that show was on...just because I saw it on one of those 15 cent channels...

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4827: hey Emma, heres another good "one-word" quote:


February 02, 2002 - Msg 4828: I like that 02-02-02...neat.
Romeena, I agree about keeping pets inside. WE do because we live on a bad busy road and also there are a lot of wild animals in the woods behind us and even with rabies shots, with 24 hours if they encounter a rabid animal they have to have a booster rabies shots, if they don't get killed by the other animal.
We have a screened in back porch our cats can go out on so they do get to enjoy the outdoors and then we keep a close eye on them, especially at night, but they sleep in the house at night, just go out when the weather is nice to enjoy the outdoors/indoors so to speak.
Emma, good to see you.
Hello to everyone !
Miss Ellie

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4829: Hello to you all! I'm a newcomer to the porch. Sounds like a good place to "sit a spell". Glad to meet y'all, and Goober says "hey"!

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4830: Good evening, folks! Just got back from my little grandson's first birthday party, and it was a hoot. Complete with balloons and a special little cake for him to tear up, which he did in fine style. Too cute. Also learned that his mama is gonna have another one. Somebody asked if it was planned, and her reply was classic. "Do you think I'd PLAN for my ninth month to be in AUGUST??" (Remember, we're in Texas!) Anyway, we're all keyed up.
Mavis, I'm glad your hand is better. Now, if we can just get that back fixed...
We heard from the grandson who's in Cuba guarding those "detainees" and making sure they're comfortable, well-fed and treated with respect. Says he's fine, no complaints, which is a reflection of his good nature. Keep praying for him, folks, please.
Well, off I go for a little sleep, then up for church in the morning. Have a lovely Sabbath, friends.--Romeena

February 02, 2002 - Msg 4831: Hey to you, PJ. You must've slipped in while I was chattering on. Welcome to the porch.--Romeena

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4832: Good Sabbath Porch, welcome PJ! Congrats Romeena, another grandbaby ontheway! Ain't life good to us? Sounds likes they'll be spaced apart like my kids - it's hard to have 2 in diapers at the same time.

I'm doin fine there Asa, although it was kinda hard to kneel at Church with this bum knee. (actually did something to it settin on the floor wrappin Christmas presents). Must be somethin in the water here at the porch what with fingers and backs and knees all goin out at the same time. Once I get me my pills I'll be jest fine. How's things at the Olypmiks? I'll bet it's cold work. Do the G-Men inspect your gun regularly? Make sure it's clean and oiled and something to be proud of!

~ Mrs. Wiley

Sausage, eggs, grits, coffee simmerin'....

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4833: add cresent rolls to that breakfast menu. See ya after Preachin'!

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4834: Morning porchters. Sorry to hear about yer knee Mrs Wiley. Durn things anyhow. Them G men made me go git screws for my gun. Can you imagine that? I tell ya I was ready to give these interlopers the big freeze, but I didn't want to make no big molouge over it so I cooperated.
Hi Romeena, Prayers fer yer grandson and congrats on the news. You sound like a wonderful grandma. I was gonna say a great grandma but I didn't want you thinking I was calling you old or nothin like that.
Good to hear from Miss Ellie. Yoi need to jump in here more often girl.
Welcome to PJ. This is a great place to hang around.
Thanks for the breakfast invite Mrs. Wiley, I'm on my way over now. Good Sabbath to all.


February 03, 2002 - Msg 4835: A new baby on the way. . .just another way to see that God's love keeps going on and on and on. . .
Welcome PJ! Hey Miss Ellie and Emma - good to see you chatting with us all. . .

It has been a fine Sabbath here with the sun shining! We'll be off to Walmart soon.

have a great Mayberry day!


February 03, 2002 - Msg 4836: Mornin' Porchsters: This is the day that the Lord hath made! (and it's a beauty.) Can't wait to sit down to one of your warm cresents Mrs. Wiley. mmmmm my favorite! Hey coach- somebody told me that Hazel put carrot squeezin's in the crock. Did you try it? Does that make it a carrot crock? HEE HEE You take care out there at the Olympiks. Get some coaching tips from the winners! Hello to all the new comers, and welcome! We're real friendly here! Come back anytime...~New Neighbor

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4837: Hey gang, just wanted to pass this along.
The Olympic games are going to have venues at places all over the northern part of Utah. All of the main downhill events will be at Snowbasin which is in my backyard just about. Those events include Downhill, Combined Downhill (mens and womens) Downhill/Slalom and Super G (mens and womens). The downhill events are scheduled for the 10th and 11th, the combined for the 13th and 14th, and the Super G on the 16th and 17th. So ya'll be watching for me and I'll wear my Mayberry shirt.


February 03, 2002 - Msg 4838: Hey to the porch! Good Sabbath to each and everyone! I just thought of something, in a way this is like an anniversary for me and the Front Porch. It was Super Bowl Sunday back in 1997 that I first got on the internet and started searching for anything Mayberry related and stumbled across the Front Porch and said my first sen-tence on here. I need to get myself a stainless steel watch and have "5" put on the back of it I guess. Five years...wow.

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4839: Asa, we know how you feel about fuss and falderol. Lord knows the job itself is reward enough. Which Mayberry shirt do you have? What color is it? Do you think they'll interview you - I hope they spell yer name right. Hey to Miss Ellie, good to see everyone! Welcome to PJ, be sure to come back.
- Hazel

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4840: We was posting at the same time, Emma. Didn't see ya. Congratulations! 5 years on the porch. That's great. Let's have a party for her, gang. Emma, you walk over to the Grand and watch them change the marquee, and we'll set it up.
- Hazel

Barney: I come before you a humble man, full of humbleness and humility.

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4841: Well, that's so nice Helen...thank you. Miss Ellie, it's good to see you here, too...Miss Ellie was one of my very first internet friends on here. I've stored up a lifetime of memories on here in 5 short years.

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4842: That's so nice, HAZEL!...I meant HAZEL!...I'm sorry Hazel. I guess I've got so many memories stored in here that I can't remember anybody's NAME these days. Maybe I better clean out this crock!

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4843: Afternoon, friends! No, it isn't a great-grandbaby, though it could be, I'm old enough. My oldest grandchild - the boy in Guantanamo - is 21. This is another grandchild, offspring of my youngest son. Hope it's a girl, 'cause I've only got one granddaughter and she's nearly 20, but we'll take what we get and be grateful. Sugarplum will be thrilled, as she considers herself one of the kids and this will just be a new playmate.
Would you believe it? A local station is doing a SuperBowl Sunday marathon, alright, but it's not TAGS! It's M*A*S*H. Now, I like M*A*S*H. Great writing, well-developed characters (no pun intended, Hotlips). It's a great show, but TAGS it ain't! Oh, well. TV Land is doing three hours of TAGS, guess I can be grateful for that, and I am. 'Course, if all else fails, I have my tapes. My granddaughter, who moved in with me in August to go to school here, has quickly become a TAGS fan, and we enjoy it together.
Emma, I'll come over and help you clean out that crock. Then we can store some cider in it until the next game, okay? --Romeena

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4844: Welcome pj! You'll enjoy it here on the porch. Romeena, congratulations on the baby on the way! How exciting!
Asa,can I have your autograph? Just trying to beat the crowd. Be sure when the camara hits you to tell us all hi! We'll tell you hi back. We'll be lookin' out for ya.
Salty Dog, any luck at the ole fishin' hole?
Sorry about your ailments Mrs. Wiley.Hope you're better soon. You too Mavis.
Happy anniversary Emma! A party sounds like a fine idea! See ya'll in the mornin'--Helen

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4845: Hey to Goober! Been lookin' for Andy talk places-can't seem to find. Obliged for any help- Mayberry
is my hometown!!!


"know that the LORD is GOD. It is he who made us, and we are his." (Ps. 100:3)

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4846: RE: msg 4845-- signed wc

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4847: Nite Porch!

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4848: Hi All. will it going to by cold tonight and i do not like it .
hello to all the new friends.
Spring brings lovely thoughts...
Spring is here... what lovely thoughts
these simple words convey
to a heart that's winter-weary
awaiting spring's first day.
though snowflakes still may linger
we know it won't be long
until someone sees a robin
or hears his wake-up song.
we watch the crocus push through
the winter's yet-bleak sod
and marvel at this miracle
that could only come from God.
swollen buds on trees will soon
burst forth with blossoms gay;
the sky is turning brighter blue
with each passing day.
the little brook is singing,
so happy to be free;
daffodils lift up bright faces
to smile at you and me.
snow may linger on the wings,
as april opens wide the door
to usher in the spring.

prayer for all who can used thim.

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4849: Hey to the porch -
I had been on the porch for a few months when Emma started visiting here and the ol' place ain't been the same since~
I think it was in mid-February, maybe early March '97 when Otis and Briscoe opened Sarah's and we started visiting over there too. It was there that most of us had our first real-time, live, chatroom experience and really got to know each other and became more than just made-up names on a computer screen. We became friends.

Milton P. Oliver
"Goodyear", hahaha. Jelsik, you're a scream!

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4850: GOOOOD mornin' porch! And an early one for me, it's 12:09 a.m. here. These ole midnight shifts are tuff! But, somebody's got to check the doorknobs here in mayberry. We usually stay on a number 2 amber alert (one of us awake at all times). I noticed just last night that there was no light on in the Mayberry ice house! Andy said it keeps the night watchman awake, but we need less a-pathy.

Good day to all porchsters.

Newton Monroe

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4851: Extry good poem Tom, as usual. I am just getting over a doozie of a cold and thoughts of spring warm my heart.
Hey to all on the porch!
Fun Girl

February 03, 2002 - Msg 4852: "HEY" Porchers, I haven't been thru Mayberry for about 4 years now. New porch paint? HUH? HUH? HUH?
I can't sit down, I gotta keep movin'. Might stop by Wallies and get my plugs changed before I head out of town. She's an eight cylinder, she'll taaake .... eight of em'.
Seriously, I'm enjoying retirement and new grand- kids since I was here last. Well, I may be back thru in the fall. Till then, "LOTS OF LUCK TO YOU AND YOURS". ....cj hoffman

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4853: cj hoffman, you're retired and you can't sit down and visit? Slow down! Take it easy. What's your hurry?

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4854: Mornin porch. What a great weekend. Warm enough to play golf on Saturday and cold enough to sit by the fire and watch the Super Bowl on Sunday. cj hoffman, "got time to breathe got time to porch". Asa, sorry about the loss, me and Hazel must have filled our vase one too many times. The "stay with one ball" theory did't work. We be sorry.

The Rock

"These Olympics are secured by Fife Protection Agency"

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4855: Great Poem Chaplain Tom. . .we needed that inspiration the other nite when we lost. It just seems that them injuries are plaguing us. . .do you think maybe we should go for the little debbies with the strawberry filling? After all - we might need a little fruit to help us. . .do they make prune filled? :)

Good to see everyone up and at 'em this morning. . .as Sgt. Carter would say "moveitmoveitmoveit!"

have a great day!


February 04, 2002 - Msg 4856: mornin'DEARS! Newton, I drove past your town last week when I was on my way to Chigaco! I saw your sign and everything! Have a great day, everyone.

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4857: Good morning to the Porch! It's nice to see ever'body. Did anybody elste here besides me enjoy that SUPER BOWL game they played on TV yesterday? OOOOOH-WEEE, that was a sight to behold. All about the thrill of defeat, and the agony of the ecstacy, or somethin' like that. Anyway, it was GOOD. And I thought Fox did a extry-good job on the pregame stuff too, with all the American tributes and such. Did you all catch "Lincoln Portrait", performed by the Boston Pops and all of our ex-Presidents? Sent shivers down this moonshiner's back, is what it done.

Anyway, I just wanted to say "Hey", and I hope you all have a GREAT week ahead! May God bless us, every one.

I'll see ya.
*Rafe Hollister
"We the people... of the United... FLAG... BREEZE... WAVE... STARS!"

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4858: MERLE DEAN says "Hey"
gotta run...
"Hey Thelmer Lou...hey Miss Crump!"(Gomer)

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4859: Hey Merle Dean, Hey Rafe, Hey Porch! ~ Mrs. Wiley

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4860: Hey to the porch! I didn't watch much of the Super Bowl game last night. I thought the boys looked good in their football costumes though.

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4861: Uniforms, Emma, UNIFORMS! (HA! I kill me!)

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4862: Oh, Emma you are a caution!

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4863: Hey to the Porch. Nice to see ya posting Emma. You must be feeling better, or at least got yer pills.
Hey Mrs. Wiley, how is yer knee doing? Better I hope.
Hey Merle Dean, saw ya on the tube last night.
Well gotta run now. Where is Salty Dog and N.N. and Tilley hiding?


February 04, 2002 - Msg 4864: Hey to the Porch...Rafe, I didn't experience the thrill of defeat at-TALL...
I've been talking up my Rams all week...
What are you all having for supper tonight??
Me, I'm having crow...


February 04, 2002 - Msg 4865: Hey to the porch, sorry I aint been here in a while. Had to work most of the weekend and this morning too. It is so cold and windy here today it is unreal. Calling for the white stuff on Wednesday. And this time last week it was in the 70's. Oh well you know how things go in cycles, last week it was head colds. Tom your poem hit the spot this morning. My mind has been wandering to spring and summer all weekend. Mostly just to the ol fishing hole. Didn't catch a lot but had fun. Well I gotta go fix some supper, thinking about meat loaf and taters tonight. Good comfort food on a cold blustery night. See yall in a bit--Salty Dog

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4866: Asa...was my episode on ?
And not a soul called me to let me know.
That'en cracks me up everytime. It's funny how I think of each of you when your name comes up in an episode. Asa...thought of you the other night when he said. "I've heard about your bullet, Barn"
"Don't do that MERLE!"(Andy)
"I'll talk to ya tomorrow."(Gomer)
"Whats that ya say Gomer?"(Merle)
"I said I'll talk to you tomorrow."(Gomer)
"I'm sorry I woke ya Andy!"(Gomer)

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4867: Jelsik, how could you put that great big foot - ALL of it - in your mouth?

Asa, Iz goin to the Dr. tomorrow, I'll let ya know what color pills I get. I hope they're "fun pills" (like Fun Girls). You be sure and let us know what day you'll be at the Olympiks with your Mayberry shirt on - I'll be lookin fer ya! You'll have to wear it over your coat, I'll bet. Salty, that comfort food sounds mighty good!

~ Mrs. Wiley
"Chicken and dumplings? And sweet 'tater pie? ...I'll DO IT!"

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4868: Afternoon Porch! My we been a busy place today ain't we? *Rafe I watched every minute of the game! I loved it, even if my Redskins didn't show. My favorite commercial was the one where the Clydesdale Horses bowed to the Statue of Liberty! Touched me right'chere(pointing to heart)
Tom wonderful poem! Emma yer a site fer sore eyes! Didn't realize how much I missed yer posting! Merle was right about Sarah's such a great place to go. I'm all set..You all set?! Asa you got yer bullet polished & ready to go?

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4869: Doggone it! Dirty me, dirty me, I'm disgusted with myself! I never even tuned on to the Super Bowl channel - wasn't even sure who was playin' and surely didn't care who won. However, I plumb forgot about all the wonderful special things there would be. Clydesdales bowing to the Statue of Liberty?? Laaawww, I wish I had seen that. Those horses give me a thrill, they're so beautiful, but bowin' to the statue? Oh, I'm a wretch, a wretch, a miserable wretch, for deliberately missin' all that wonderment. I could just cry. (snif!)
Asa, you make sure your bullet maintenance is up to snuff now. You can't be seen around there with moldy bullets, you know. And get that screw in the handle checked! Make us proud.
I missed the SuperBowl show, but sure did see six good TAGS eps. When that center column starts rising out of the steering wheel in Barney's face, well...I just about lose it. The look on his face is just priceless. The only other actor who might have been able to come close would have been Desi Arnaz, but he still wouldn't have been as funny. And "A Date for Gomer" - that last scene where he's dancing with Mary Grace - I just crack up. Sorry I missed the SuperBowl, but I had a fun time anyway.
Friends, you all have a lovely Mayberry evening, now. Let's just all rest up, and practice tomorrow, OK Coach Asa?--Romeena

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4870: That's one of my favorite lines.."Uniform, Aunt Bee, uniform!" Romeena, don't you just love the way Gomer says something about "too much grease in your steering colyum." Gomer is a classic, too. "Sick as a dawg, but havin' the time of my life!"

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4871: Oh, Emma, you are so right. That emphasis on the "y" sound was just perfect. Isn't it amazing how many details we see and hear as we watch an ep for the zillionth time? Honestly, once in a while I'll notice something I've never seen before! Then there are the favorites, like the way Ben Weaver's eyebrows go up when Barney enters dressed as Santa in the Christmas ep. Ben is hanging on the bars, peeking through the window. The plain fact is, that show's entire staff - cast, writers, directors, everybody - were just perfect. I wonder if they even knew what they had at the time?--Romeena

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4872: Evenin' folks! Hope everyone has their long-handles on for the porch tonight -- supposed to get down to 36 degrees here in North Texas. I'll put on a fresh pot of coffee to keep us warm.

Mrs. Wiley, I believe it was Miss Rosemary that Barney used to walk to church because it was on his way. Hilda May (or Mae, which should it be?) is the one who used her "ways" to talk Barney into signing the petition for Ellie to run for town council. "She's got ways, Andy." Hilda May called him "Creme Puff", and he just caved. Poor fella.

Yall keep warm tonight.

~Hilda May

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4873: Another little something to ponder on the porch... Was Floyd or was Floyd not married? In one episode, I remember him saying that a barber learned a lot about love even if he wasn't married. But in the episode where Andy delivers Sam & Lilly Becker's baby, Floyd (and the rest of the posse) were held up because Floyd's "Mrs." wouldn't let him use her walking stick. Hmmmm... "Makes ya think, don't it?"

~Hilda May

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4874: Well I missed the commercials too. I watched TAGS last night. I also enjoy hearing something or noticing something for the first time. I have to laugh everytime Barney drinks the hard cider in the courthouse and is trying to explain his theory to Andy. When Andy realizes Barney is gassed just the look Barney has when he says Bless her heart just gets me everytime. See yall later--Salty Dog

I don't trust him Andy and you wanna know why?
A-- A guy moves into town
2-- He has no money
C-- He wants to marry Mrs. Bendlemright

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4875: Hello all! Other than "The Cutlass Cats" I'm not a big sports fans. However I did hear where the game last night was won by a homerun with 7 seconds to go in the ninth inning. I did listen to some of the pre-game musical entertainment and I will have to say from what I heard most of them "could not sing a lick, not a lick"! I would much rather listen to Glen Cripes sing.
Romeena, I LOL when I read "laaawwww".

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4876:
Above was from me, Helen.

February 04, 2002 - Msg 4877: Romeena quit hollerin at yerself in that lookin' glass! I'm sure they will show that commercial again! It was a good one tho!
I better get myself in the bed, gotta go to work again tomorrow, dadburn it! Are we not having practice since Asa is so busy keepin the olympiks safe & sound?

February 05, 2002 - Msg 4878: Sounds reasonable to me, Mavis. I think we owe it to the olympiks to let them have Asa as much as they need him. Besides, I'm enjoying the time to rest, aren't you?
Hey, friends! I spoke to my grandson on the phone tonight. He had a chance to call. Says he's fine, hopes to be home in a couple of months. Says no one should be worryin' about those poor detainees. They eat fine, and the weather is comfortable, nobody's cold. (I could have told the Red Cross that much. They're in Cuba, for cryin' out loud!) Says the International Red Cross and some congressmen have been down there, poking around and making changes. At first the guards were under orders to yell at the detainees a lot, keep the mental bluff going. They had to stop that, because the Red Cross said it was "disrespectful". I've never heard such flat-out garbage in my life. Oh, well, so much for that. Keep prayin', folks. Maybe some unexpected sanity will surface in this insane situation somewhere, sometime.
Have a great Mayberr day!--Romeena

February 05, 2002 - Msg 4879: Uh, make that MayberrY day!--Romeena

February 05, 2002 - Msg 4880: Good Morning Porch! Thank your Grandson for us Ro, he's doing a scary job down there. Glad to hear them ferigners are being treated humanely. Thanks for setting me straight Hilda May, NOW I know who you are! ;-)

Hey to Emma, Salty Mavis (hows the finger?), and Helen! I spect we'll need a substitute coach while Asa's doin his turn at semi-military service (on accounta he's between the ages of 18 to 35). Any takers?

~ Mrs. Wiley's Mayberry Trivia Twister:

Finish this formula-
There are 3 things you can always count on Barney for:
1) All prisoners will be told to "Suck in their Guts!"
2) Stills will recieve a great big axe and a POW POW POW.

February 05, 2002 - Msg 4881: Good mornin.Cold here in the Volunteer State. Romeena, hope your grandson stays safe and sound and comes home soon. I do not understand the reasoning behind the theory that if someone tears down your house, you have to be nice to them. Oh well, I not very smart but I can lift heavy things. Hilda May you will also notice that in "Those Gossipin Men" Floyd had a son that played the Saxaphone.
Emma I also liked it when Gomer finished the list of all that was wrong with the car with,"and it could use a good wash too."
Mrs Wiley, I don't know if this is what you are looking for but anytime Barney played with his gun it would go off.

The Rock

"Where's you gun Barney." (Opie)
"Oh it's a new policy, we're not allow to wear our guns in the court house." (Barney)

February 05, 2002 - Msg 4882: Good try Rock, it's a game where everybody can win! ~ Mrs. Wiley

February 05, 2002 - Msg 4883: Mornin' Fellow Porchsters: We need to continue to pray for Asa and the family while all the out of town guests are there. It can be very disruptive to have company all the time. And you know Asa- always the cordial host. Hey Mrs. Wiley, glad to see ya out and about this fine mornin'. ~New Neighbor

February 05, 2002 - Msg 4884: Hi NN, out stretchin the 'ol knee. I just got back from the Dr. and whadda ya think he told me. Go on, guess. "We ain't no spring chickens any more." ~ Mrs. Wiley

February 05, 2002 - Msg 4885: Well, bless my soul! I didn't know there even *was* a porch anymore! Boy, it's good to be home. It was February, 1997, when I first met a lot of these folks here, when I found the porch, and then learned from there about Sarah's grand opening. Emma and Jennie and MPO and Ellie and me and a whole BUNCHA folks go waaay back with this stuff, and I for one am a whole lot better person for having met all the folks I've met through TAGS. (I'm done talkin' now.)
--Elinora Poultice

February 05, 2002 - Msg 4886: hey to the Porch....Emma, you're right as rain, Gomer IS one funny character...and the look on his face when Barney first takes off on Dr. Pendyke...


"Inside that man's body is a little child, calling out for help...
HELP ME HELP ME, he's saying..."

February 05, 2002 - Msg 4887: Welcome back Elinora Poultice.

The Rock

February 05, 2002 - Msg 4888: Jelsik, you're a HOOT! "hep me, hep me" hahaha! Ain't Barney the cats? ~ Mrs. Wiley

February 05, 2002 - Msg 4889: Welcome home Elinora!! You too Emma!!

February 05, 2002 - Msg 4890: Howdy, Elinora! Long time, no see! We thought you'd run off to Raleigh or somewhere, maybe with Leonard Blush. Glad to have you back.
Sorry 'bout that knee, Mrs. Wiley. Doesn't it just make you want to scream when some crotchety old doc infers that it's our age that's botherin' us? Still, I caught myself doing it. My little daddy was telling me how he has this or that ache or pain that he's never had before, and I heard myself say, "Well, Daddy, you've never been 84 years old before, either!" Now isn't that pit-ee-ful??! Shame on me!
Rock, I'm with you. I understand about turnin' the other cheek if someone is unkind to me. To forgive personal injury is my prerogative, perhaps my imperative. However, I don't think as a nation we have the right to turn the cheek of the whole country and allow these misguided zealots to slaughter more thousands of innocent people. I've stood on this same soapbox before, and I still stand there. If I want to forgive someone who has done me harm, that's my business. If, however, that individual leaves me and heads toward my neighbor to do her harm, and I have the power to stop him with a bullet, but don't do it, then I am as guilty as the attacker. Therefore, if our government does not do whatever it takes to stop these unprovoked attacks on our homeland and our people, then those who make those decisions are guilty of the blood of every victim. There, I've said it, and I ain't takin' it back!--Romeena