February 12, 2002 - Msg 5001: Shoot! I did leave out Rock. Hey Rock!

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5002: It's so pretty here today I think I'm gonna see if DR. Thomas from #201 can get away for a little Golf. That is if he's not hangin around that M*A*S*H set again!

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5003: Afternoon Porch! Ya'll think I disappeared on ya? Been busy as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs lately, but I am still here. I see theres been some cleaning & sweeping going on again since I was here last. Good job Floyd

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5004: What a clean sweep. . .it's been awhile for me. . .sorry - I have been extra busy with everything. I have a full house (this weather is driving me nuts - warm/cold/warm/cold/warm. . .which has left my house a mud pit and then my classroom is overloaded with children. . .ahhhhhhh) Hey to everyone - you must be doing great guarding the olympiks Asa - haven't heard of any major fights!
Hello Fun Girl, NN, SD, Miss Ellie, Hazel, Miss Wiley, Rock, Merle Dean, and Miss Mavis (and whoever else I might have missed:)

Have a wonderful porch sitting day!


February 12, 2002 - Msg 5005: Good news, Doc Thomas sez he can play Golf!

Mr. Schwamp

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5006: You learn to sweep good when you cut hair for a living, Mavis.


February 12, 2002 - Msg 5007: I wanna Play golf too.....*sniff* *sniff*
"With a whole days work and I'm just too pooped to star."(Gomer)

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5008: That is true Floyd that sure is true. I use this new thang they call a vacuum cleaner, but ya gotta watch Gomer around it, he likes to run it at night.
when she's in that position, she'll run on ya

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5009: Mavis, where the heck ya been girl? We been a missin ya around here. Now don't go taking off like that again, you hear?
Glad you checked in with us also Homemaker and Fun Girl. You been hiding on us.
Just got back from the womens downhill and... well I won't say nothing in case yer gonna watch it tonight.
Hey Fun Girl, if yer goin to Vegas, you just about gotta go through Utah to get there, so you take a little detour and come see us.


February 12, 2002 - Msg 5010: Me and the hubby are going to Vegas just for fun. We will be leaving on Tuesday. Asa I will be flying over. Maybe if I talk real purty to the pilot he will let me hang a banner on the back of the plane saying, "Hey to Asa and best of luck to you and yours." He wouldn't do it for just anyone, but seeing as how you are our coach and all I just may be able to swing it.
Hey to one and all!
Fun Girl

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5011: Well at least tell him to honk when he comes over. There is a no fly zone for 45 miles around Salt Lake though so I expect ya'll will fly around instead of over. Have fun girl. hee hee hee. Ain't I a card.
Talk at ya later friends. Another day up at snowbasin for the slalom events.


February 12, 2002 - Msg 5012: GOOD NIGHT PORCH.PLEASENT DREAMS....

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5013: GOOD NIGHT PORCH.PLEASENT DREAMS....

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5014: GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE,SLEEP WELL...

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5015: GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE,SLEEP WELL...

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5016: GOOD NIGHT...

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5017: GOOD NIGHT...

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5018: WELL I THINK I'LL GO TO BED NOW.NIGHT ALL...

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5019: Looks like everyones gone to bed?
I thought there would be a few night owls!

February 12, 2002 - Msg 5020: Good evenin' to the Porch! I been busy the last few days, and I see you all have, too! Tilley, it's good to see you postin' again. I'm sorry you been feelin' down lately. I hope ever'thing is lookin' up for you now. Romeena, how's your daughter-in-law's sister? Is she still paralyzed? DANG that's scary. Asa, I sure hope you're keepin' an eye out for skiers and snowboarders fallin' outta the sky. Them folks are NUTS. Tilley, I just read your "Paw, isn't "Picabo" something you do with babies?" and I LOL! That was EXTRY-good! Hey ~Dež~, did your friend's family ever find their dog? That's terrible, just terrible... a dog-napper on the loose.

It's nice to see my precious baby doll, Charlene D. Hollister postin' here too! Hi, sweetie! Elinora, you been floatin' your sailboats in the basement again? I wish I had a basement that was underwater. Does your furnace have that nice big crack in it so you can see the flame real good too? You're lucky. Mrs. Wiley, did you REALLY fix up a batch of trout 'n' eggs for breakfast the other mornin', or were you just pullin' our leg? Do folks really eat fresh fish for breakfast? I don't believe I've ever done that before. That's ADVENTURE EATIN'! MERLE DEAN, the answer to your *TRIVIA* is: Lillian's meatballs! (Salty Dog got it 'fore me, though.) Speakin' of SD, no, I wasn't offended last week, I just been busy and couldn't come by again 'til now. I don't mind if you don't say "hey" to me EVERYTIME I show my face in Mayberry. Just occasionally would do, and you're doin' just fine now. Thanks. And Tilley, I specifically said "NOT The Beaver" when I referred to you last week. I'm gonna make DANG SURE that folks get that though their heads, that way, ever'time somebody sees you post, they'll think to themseves, "Tilley NOT 'The Beaver'", okay? :-)

It's good to see ever'body else too, includin' The Rock (MONSTER TRUCKS RULE!), Hazel (keepin' Asa on his toes with your invisible posts), New Nieghbor (It's good to see you back here too, bud), *Mavis (always busy these days), homemaker, Floyd, and Fun Girl (Put $10.00 on number 17 on the roulette wheel for ol' *Rafe, will ya? I'll pay you back.) Oh and BRIAN (Msgs 5012-5019 - I recognized your handwritin'), there are a few night owls here, but they need to be able to get a word in edgeways. So keep your greasy trigger-fanger off the "post" button, and you might get a better response, okay?

You all take care now, and have a great day tomorrow. I'll see ya.
*Rafe Hollister
"Are you a desperate female hunter, Miss Ellie? 'Cause if you are, I know where you can find a 'possum!"
"No thanks, honey. Right now, I'm on the trail of a BABBOON!"

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5021: Good morning porch, am I the first one up this morning? Oh well I guess everyones sleepping in after last night. Good to see ya back Rafe, don't stay gone so long next time. Seems like a lot of our regulars haven't been posting like they should. Have a good day. I left the coffee on for everyone before I left. Be good and act like ya got some smarts. Off to work--Salty Dog

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5022: Mmmorning Porch, thanks for the cup 'o joe SaltyD! Yep Rafe, I do adventure eatin' fairly often. The trout was leftover and actually it went pretty good with the eggs and cornbread - rite fillin'! Naw, I know I throw some fancy parties, but I don't eat no trouteggs on little pieces of toast (hee hee). Anyhow, it reminded me of the epp where Op and Andy become blood brothers. :-)

~ Mrs. Wiley

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5023: Morning all. Hope everyone has a good day.


February 13, 2002 - Msg 5024: Mornin Asa DEAR! You keep warm out there, ya hear? ~ Mrs. Wiley

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5025: Hey to the porch! Just got back from the big city doctor. Don't know why I go there to get doctored. All they ever tell me to do is loose weight, but I guess it's better than old Doc Andrews telling me,"We're no spring chickens anymore." Anyway I lost 9 pounds is two weeks. I am so proud that I could just bust. That don't mean that I don't have a long way to go, but shucks progress is progress. Asa, if you get terrible cold out there you could always take a canteen of water out of the court house crock. (especially after Otis has been there) I reckon that would rightly enough keep you warm. By the way I love that quote 'bout the chicken wings.
Have a good un you all.
Fun Girl

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5026: Congrats on your weight loss Fun Girl. . .I think I found it (eating all them Little Debbies and letting Mavis do my sit ups - seems that the weight just snuck up on me!) Asa - you need to watch them judges a little more closely - seems they are sneaking deals behind your back. Next thing you know they'll be setting up a shop in the lot next door and trying to outsell Weaver's.

Good to see everyone rocking!


February 13, 2002 - Msg 5027: Afternoon porch. Just got back from my mamma's house. Had to do her income taxes. Then had to go into the big city. My Lazy Boy got a little weak in the back. The man said it would take about a week to fix. Asa , if you want to take Fun Girls advice Hazel and I would be more than honored to share our crock with you, but you would have to help clean it out. Rafe we had a great time at the MONSTER TRUCKS. Mrs Wiley and Homemaker ya'll have a great day. I going down stairs to watch the Olynpics.

The Rock

"And if you'll let me win that medal I'll never take it off. Well maybe when I take a bath." (Opie)

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5028: OOPS!!! Sorry Salty Dog, missed you up there. You have a great day too.

The Rock

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5029: Golf game got cancelled. Little tummy bug, maybe to many green apples.New Doc fixed me up though,better this mornin.

Mr. Schwump/"Beseeinyasomemore"

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5030: Caint wait til' spreeng sheerif, ya'know, with that sweet grass a poppin' up and trout seezin opnun up. I jess hope Goober's fool cuzin dozen go a spookin' the feesh on opunun day with that dang speed boat a hiz like he did last year. Ida liked to tar n feather him fer that.

Brisco Darling

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5031: If you go to Tv like this .com you can download
or watch right there 9 (25 minutes)uncut episodes
of The Andy Griffith Show!Brian

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5032: Msg 5031: should read Televison like this.com

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5033: Hello to everyone here at the porch! Just thought I would pop in and say hey. Things at work are crazy as usual, but I'm managing. I hope everyone has a great rest of the day! Talk at yall later.

Charlene D. Hollister

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5034: Afternoon Porch, A grand day indeed. How are you all? Hey Charlene, good to see ya again on the porch. You ain't kidding about them judges in figger skating homemaker. There is a real stink around here and it ain't our fowl air.
How's yer golf game Rock. I'm gittin my clubs all tuned up so you better look out. You better look out to Hazel. You remember what happened last year. You You still still seeing seeing double double??
Howdy to Briscoe and everyone else. Good to see ya'll stoppin in and visiting.



February 13, 2002 - Msg 5035: RIP, Waylon Jennings.

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5036: WHAT DO YOU MEAN RIP WAYLON JENNINGS?!?!?!? Please don't tell me he passed away!

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5037: Evening Porch! I sure hope Waylon didn't pass. How many of ya'll watched the Westminster Dog Show this week? I look forward to that all year but I must say I was disappointed in the winner this year, I wanted the little Affenpinscher, Cosmo to win. Well, my 2nd favorite show is on, Touched By an Angel, I'm gone!
(in answer to Asa's rocks.....I'm gettin' to that!!

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5038: I did not post msg:5035,But yes old Waylon did pass
on!Shame too another Dukes movie was in the works!

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5039: Hello Porchsters: Didn't think I was gone that long, another sweep!! Asa, you're doing a fine job out there with the Olympics...I knew those new screws in that pistol grip would scare them! Can't mess with the law... Got another youn' un under the weather, this time with pneumonia. Sure was a long night last night. A little better today. Gotta go and do that mother thing. ~New Neighbor

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5040: wonder what causes that?

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5041: Good evening porch. A sad night on my porch, RIP, Waylon Jennings. Hows it going? Hope all the sickly ones feel better. NN hope your crew gets better. Hey Rock, if ya ever get that crock cleaned, let me know. Yall have a good night, got the day off tomorrow and cant wait to enjoy it. Supposed to be in the 60's too. I'll think about ya Asa out there in the cold. Nite Porch--Salty Dog

February 13, 2002 - Msg 5042: Hey to the porch. O.K. I've been thinking. I was reading my Andy Griffith Show Book, for the umptenth time, and I noticed something I never noticed before. It says Aunt Bee has 3 sisters and one brother. Well, the one brother was the one Andy referred to in "Aunt Bee's Medicine Man" where he said "she don't even allow fruit cake in the house; on account of a brother she had". But Aunt Bee is suppose to be the sister of Andys father, so that is another brother. Unless the brother that drank was Andy's pa, and that don't seem likely...
- Hazel

Barney: I ain't got time to stand around here and discuss trivial trivialities.

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5043: Good mornin' to the Porch. (I whispered that, 'cause it's still early.) Nice to see ever'body. Thanks for the coffee, Salty Dog. That's one thing I just CAN'T do without, workin' this BLAME NIGHT SHIFT I work: coffee. Lots of it. I appreciate it! I ain't been watchin' the 'Lympics... Are the judges not judgin' fair? DANG their hides anyway! New Neighbor, I'm sorry as can be about your young 'un having pneumonia. I hope they're feelin' better soon, and you both can get the sleep you need. Hazel, you make a real good point about Aunt Bee and the number of brothers she had. We know she had ONE brother at least, based on the episode you cited. So IF Andy's daddy ISN'T Aunt Bee's brother (not the one that had a drinkin' problem, anyway), and IF Aunt Bee only had ONE brother... (I'm glad nobody's interruptin' me in the middle of my IF'in')... then that would mean that Aunt Bee was at one time married to Andy's uncle (his daddy's brother) and is now a widow. Thus, she has the Taylor name by marriage. But that can't be, can it? I don't know. I'm askin' the question. :-)

Change of subject... I just LOVE this exchange between Andy and Opie:

ANDY: Well, if it ain't Charlie Money Bags, the big philanthropist. Howdy do!
OPIE: What you talkin' 'bout, Paw?
ANDY: I'm talkin' about the Underprivileged Children's Drive.
OPIE: Oh, they collected for that at school, Paw.
ANDY: Oh, I know they did. OH, I know they did. And when they called your name you gave the large, generous amount of THREE CENTS. My that was big of ya' Diamond Jim!
OPIE: Did I give 'em too much, Paw?
OPIE: I could ask 'em to give back two cents.
ANDY: Now, looky here... we better talk about this thing... Now, now, now, looky here Opie. You can't give a little piddling amount like three cents to a worthy cause like the Underprivileged Children's Drive. Why, I was readin' here just the other day where there was somewhere like 400 needy boys in this county alone. Or, one and a half boys per square mile.
OPIE: There is?
ANDY: There sure is.
OPIE: I never seen one, Paw.
ANDY: Never seen one, what?
OPIE: A half a boy.
ANDY: Well, it's not really a half a boy. It's a ratio.
OPIE: Horatio, who?
ANDY: Not Horatio, a ratio. Mathematics. Arithmetic. Now, look, Opie, just forget that part of it. Forget the part about the half a boy.
OPIE: It's pretty hard to forget a thing like that, Paw.
ANDY: Well, TRY.
OPIE: (looking sad) Poor Horatio.
ANDY: Now look... Horatio is not the only needy boy... Son, didn't you ever give anybody anything just for the pleasure of it? Somethin' you didn't want anything in return for?
OPIE: Sure, just yesterday I gave my friend Jimmy something.
ANDY: Now that's fine. What'd you give him?
OPIE: A sock in the head.
OPIE: I didn't charge him nothing.
ANDY: I meant something for the joy of giving.
OPIE: I ENJOYED IT. I don't like Jimmy anymore. He makes fun of Charlotte.
ANDY: Who's Charlotte?
OPIE: My girlfriend.
ANDY: Oh. Well, I just don't see how anybody who has as much as you could care so little about others.
ANDY: Not when you give a little, piddling amount like three cents. That's being selfish. You should have given at least a half a dollar or a dollar.
OPIE: A DOLLAR? Gosh, Paw. I only have two dollars and twenty cents in my whole piggy bank and I'm saving it to buy Charlotte something.
ANDY: Now well! That's dandy. THAT IS JUST DANDY. Whole dollars you'll squander on your girlfriend Charlotte but when it comes to the Under Privileged Children's Fund you've got only three cents.
OPIE: I wasn't gonna squander it, Paw. I wasn't gonna squander it.
ANDY: Yeah.
OPIE: What's squander?

You all have a great day. I'll see ya.
*Rafe Hollister
ANDY: Seems like just yesterday they were waving good-bye to us from the back of that prison van. Remember?
BARN: Yeah. You know, we ought to take a ride up there some Sunday and surprise them.
ANDY: Let's do it!

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5044: Mornin porch. Asa I aint had a chance to play this week. The wife has been off from work for a week and me playing golf was not on her list of things for me to do. Salty Dog I'm still working on the crock. I been sterilizing it at nignts with alochol but still can't get the funny smell out of it. New Neighbor hope your youngum gets to feeling better. (Soak him NN ,soak him a lot)
Rafe and Hazel the only thing I can figger out is that Aunt Bee had two brothers. Andy's pa and the other brother that nobody claims and his name is never brought up at the family reunion. Well off to have a Valentine breakfast with the love of my life, Mrs. Rock.

Happy Valentine Day to all the porchters.

The Rock

You lived with a opposum and a racoon!!! (Andy)
"Yep they's the ones that taught me to wash my food before I ate it." (Ernest T. Bass)

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5045: Morning all and a happy valentines to everyone out there on the porch.
Hope everyone gets over ailing at N.N. house. Poor dear, hang in there.
Now Hazel dear, you got us all a wonderin now about relations. You even got old Rafe thinkin on this one, and thats saying somethin. Mt brains just to pooped to try and think about it.
Mavis, my wife loves that show to. In fact she got to meet that actress who plays on that show (don't know her name). It is filmed here in Utah you know.
Poor ol Salty has the day off work. That means she will have to drive somewhere to get her pepsi today. hahahaha
And Rock, no golf? Boy o boy you better sit down with that wife of yers and explain things to her.
Well back up to Snowbasin again to watch them ladies Slalom down the slope. Ya'll have a good day.



February 14, 2002 - Msg 5046: Good morning, friends, and a Happy Valentine's Day to one and all! Looks like I'm the first one up, and that's 'cause I haven't been to bed! Rafe, I know what you mean about night shifts. I work 12-hr nights, and then when I'm off, I'm all upside-down and still sleep during the day and stay up at night. Retirement is sure looking good!
New Neighbor, what a nightmare, all those folks sick at the same time. You must be worn to a frazzle. Hope you don't come down with it, or have you already?
Dež, did your Oklahoma friends get their little dog back? I hope so. Anyone that would steal someone's pet should be tarred and feathered and carried out of town on a rail! If it was my little Sugarplum that was missing, I'd be a basket case.
Brian, thanks for that link. I'm surely going to explore that!
My daughter-in-law's sister is still paralyzed from the waist down, and they still don't know why. She did move one foot a little yesterday, though. They're probably going to move her to a teaching hospital in Dallas today, where there'll be a bigger pool of docs to study her case. Really scary. No one else in the family affected, thank the good Lord.
I go in for surgery tomorrow morning - nothing serious, should be home by Sunday, or Monday at the latest. I wonder if Aunt Bee would loan me her bed jacket? I hate to ask her, though, she's so partial to that jacket! --Romeena

"Don't do that, Ollie!"

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5047: Well, anyway, I THOUGHT I was the first one to post. Sure 'nuff, Rock and Asa jumped in while I was gathering my thoughts. Morning, boys! --Romeena

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5048: Morning Rafe and Rock and ever'body. Rafe, that exchange between Andy & Opie is one of my favs too. Great dialogue. Over at Ms Crumps, you posted a list of shows that the anti-TAGS people ought to watch, to try to bring em around. Well, include that one. Who could not like that one? Rock, what a romantic you are! Having valentines breakfast with Mrs. Rock. Made me get a tear in my eye. Oh, wait, that's from the smell of that crock. Now listen: quit sterilizing it. Yer not suppose to do that. I like the way it tastes, and it's suppose to smell funny like that. Happy Valentines Day!
- Hazel

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5049: Sheesh, Asa and Romeena sneaked in on me whilst I was rambling on and on. Good to see you, Romeena. Good luck with that surgery! Have fun today Asa. Talk to the Judges, would ya. And I forgot to say, NN, hope your youngun gets better.
- Hazel

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5050: Hazel don't worry about the crock. I been getting my alochol from the Morrison Sisters. You know, to celebrate National Crock Cleaning month. Mornin Romeena.

The Rock

"Mornin Dear." (Jennie Boone)
"Mornin Honey." (Fred Boone)

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5051: Happy Valeintines Day to the Front Porch!!Brian

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5052: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! (and an ESPECIALLY BIG V-Day greetin' to my wunnerful hubby, Rafe! I love you, sweetie!) Talk at ya later.

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5053: Happy Valentines Day to everyone!! Asa, you should know me better than that...I have plenty of Pepsi here at my house. Rafe, that is one of my favorite lines from the show. I laugh everytime I see it. Ro, good luck with your surgery, I'll be thinking about you. Hazel, you got my brain working on that one don't know it either though. Rock, what can I say, good luck with that crock buddy. Hey Brain, loved that site yesterday! NN, take care now, get them youngins better. Have a great Valentines Day everybody! I love you guys, --Salty Dog

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5054: Happy Valentine's Day everybody! Nice to be back on the porch. We went to the International Home Builders show in Atlanta this week-end and it took me a while to catch up on the porch.Laaaawww we saw some fancy things for the home. Asa, I'm always lookin' for the Mayberry shirt on T.V. I just knew you would light the torch Fri., you were my 2nd guess.Pres. Bush was my 1st. You sure do live in pretty country. I vote our Mayberry front porch reunion should be there!We've enjoyed the Olympics this year, except for the crooked judges. Romeena, you take care now. Prayers to you and you daughter-in-laws sister. I've been concerned about that situation. I'm glad the rest of the family is well.Prayers for NN and the others too. Rafe, I've enjoyed your post. TAGS has tought me a lot about being a parent.Hey to the new ones and everybody. HAPPY VALENETINE'S DAY!--Helen

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5055: Follow these instructions for my card to ya'll:1. Click this link to go to our homepage, or copy and paste it into your browser's address line:
2. Click on the "e-cards and cards" link.
3. Click on the "browse free e-cards" link in the e-cards section of the page.
4. Click on the link on the upper left hand side of the page that says "pick up a greeting".
5. Enter your email address and this retrieval number: EG326320768069. This e-card will be available for 60 days.

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5056: Happy Valentines Day to the porch!

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5057: Howdy Porch. Thanks Emma, right back at ya.
Itried the link to the card #5055 but I couldn't access it. But thanks anyhow.
Romeena, sweetie, I'm real sorry to hear yer ailing. You take care of yerself dear, and we will be prayiny up a storm here for ya on the porch, won't we gang? God bless you dear, and I know all will be well for you.
Thanks fer the comments Helen. It is purty in these parts, but to durn cold for my old bones sometimes. The only thing that would make it purtier is having you all over for a reunion. Ya'll come over anytime.
About these judges, all I can say is we got a situation on our hands here. The French judge has admitted to being pressured to not judge properly. More to come I'm sure. This is a huge story and it is gonna get bigger.


February 14, 2002 - Msg 5058: Happy Valentime's(as my 3 year old say's).Been out on the Golf Course all day with Doc Thomas.Sure hope our 9:00 pm central TVLD backto back does'nt preempted again!

Mr. Schwump

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5059: Reckon what the mirror DID say to the dresser. I been pondering it for ages.

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5060: ..something about it's drawers, I'll bet! Happy Valentines Day Porch Friends! I loves ya all, ~ Mrs. Wiley

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5061: Happy Valentine's Day to all our Porch Friends. A box of Chocolate Little Debbies' and Pepsi for everyone!! (a little crock for those who don't like Pepsi- right Rock?) Come on over for the festivities, be sure 'n bring your sweetheart! ~New Neighbor

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5062: Happy Valentine's Day to everyone.

February 14, 2002 - Msg 5063: Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. Romeena good luck on the surgery. I'll be thinking of you. NN I hope your baby is well soon. And to anyone elst that needs it, prayers. I tried to post this morning. Had a big long "HEY" to everyone, and danged if I didn't get booted off the Internet. Wonder what causes that? Well, I can't be clever twice in a row, so I didn't try to post again. Hope all y'all folks are doing well.

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5064: Morning porch. Tilley, I've had that happen too. Trying to post something outrageously funny and clever, and then get booted off. It's the pits is what it is. Good to see all the posters lately. Where's Newton been? That transister radio I got from him broke and I'd like to talk to him.
- Hazel

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5065: Mornin porch. Asa I think Mr Schwump is trying to rub it in a little about the golf. He knows that it is too cold at your place and my wife has me in the middle of "spring cleaning?" at my place and we can't go. How do you do Mrs. Wiley. I believe you are right. I think it goes sometning like; don't look now but your drawers are showing. New Neighbor, if we mixed a little pepsi in that crock we might get a taste that everybody would like. I'm going to have to talk to Hazel about that.Helen don't be gone so long doggone.Hey to Tilly and Hazel. Salty Dog, you sleeping in today?

The Rock

"Get'um Blue, Get'um. Man *** gun *** get'un." (Barney)

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5066: Good morning porch, Hey Rock, no I aint sleeping in. But I wish I could. You wanna come spring clean my house too? Pepsi in the crock sounds good to me! I'd even help clean it. Morning Hazel, everyone have a great day. The weekends coming! Asa, don't get too cold out there. See ya'll later. Off to work--Salty Dog

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5067: P.S.- Mavis, where have you been are we gonna have to come find you again??? You better some back soon before we get some hairy ears around here!--SD

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5068: I think thats why she's in hiding Salty. My ears are getting shaggy, and she knows it. Heck,I don't know why she's opposed to doin em. I ain't tried to bite her or nothing.
I do think you are right on about Mr. Schwump, Rock. He be making me ache real bad for a round of golf. But it won't be long till I'm out there swinging and singing.
Hope you all have a great day.
Yer a nut Hazel, thats what you are.:)


February 15, 2002 - Msg 5069: Safe Keeping.
do not look forward to the changes
and chances of this life in fear; rather
look to them with full hope that, as they
arise,God, whose you are, will deliver you
out of them.He is your keeper.He has kept
you hitherto.

do you but hold fast to his dear hand,
and he will lead you safely through all things;
and, when you cannot stand, he will bear you
in his arms. Do not look forward to what may
happen tomorrow.

our father will either shield you from suffering,
or he will give you strength to bear it.

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5070: Well. . .it certainly looks like everyone had a good day yesterday! Made all my sweeties a wonderful supper and my sweetie gave me some goat Nutri-Drench for my babies. It gets my right here. . . .(sniff, sniff).

Nice thoughts Chaplain Tom . . .best wishes on your surgery Romeena. . .watch that hospital food - it doesn't compare to Aunt Bea's.

Good to see everyone out - have a great weekend!


February 15, 2002 - Msg 5071: Sorry gang just tryin to make "chit chat" with the Golf thing!"You keep practicing and you'll be shootin in the 90's like him,maybe even hit a hundred"

Mr. Schwump

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5072: Hey to the porch! I hope everyone's Friday has been a good one. I've got a long weekend coming up since Monday's a holiday (I guess the Morrison sisters better get the flower makin' machine fired up) I've got a little bit of humor for a Friday evening.
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Emmett, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!" "Oh, it's not just one car," said Emmett, "it's hundreds of them!"
Ha! Sorry about that Emmett, I just HAD to tell it on you.

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5073: I also meant to say that yesterday would've been a good day for "love" quotes, being Valentine's Day. I guess EVERY day is a good day for "love" quotes though. Okay, I'll hush now.

"I knew it was love...icy chills just run all over me." (Barn)
"Sounds to me more like your snow cone was leakin'." (Ange)

Barney..."You couldn't have gotten a piece of tissue paper between 'um, they were that close, they were kissin'!"
Andy..."Who was kissing?"
Barney..."Thelma Lou and Gomer!"
Barney.."K I S S I N!"

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5074: Here's a couple more, Emma. "I love her real bad, pa." (Josh Wakefield)
"It's her own fault. Who ever told her to fall in love with me?" (Barney)
- Hazel

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5075: "Of course I'm wearin' my uniform. I'm a policeman. What SHOULD I wear? A milk man suit?" (Barney)

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5076: Hey guys, how's everyones Friday going? I just love all these quotes flying around here. Mavis, we miss ya girl, you better get back soon or we're gonna put out an APB.I'll help ya with them hairy ears if thats the reason you aint been here. I'll even put Mt.Dew in the crock instead of Pepsi if you'll just come back. Have a good weekend, gotta work tomorrow but it is a short day. See ya later--Salty Dog

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5077: Evening Porch, haven't read all the latest posts yet but wanted to let ya'll know I am ok, just working like a dog (get it..groomer? working like a dog??) HA I kill me!!
Ya'll have a good one!
sick as a dog, but having the time of my life!

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5078: OK ladies and lady-ettes: Since our beloved Coach Asa is busy keeping the Olympics free from crime (well almost), and has not had time for our softball team, we have decided to don our longjohns and head to Utah to compete in the winter sport of ice softball. Asa- We'll stay with you OK? ~ New Neighbor

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5079: Ya'll are a caution! I just finished reading all the posts up there & I see I missed alot of fun stuff! Mr Schwump you are the same Mr Schwump I remember ain't ya? Or are you gonna say, I can't tell ya As for them hairy ears, I have worked so much this week & seen so many hairy ears (& toes & feet & everything else) I don't think I could stand to look at another one, they are worse than kerosene cukes right now! Ya'll have a good one now, I'm going to bed!

February 15, 2002 - Msg 5080: Hey porch, the ice softball sounds like fun unless we fall down!! Mavis good to see ya back! Nite porch--Salty Dog

February 16, 2002 - Msg 5081: Morning Porch, just a quick pop in to say hey before I head up into the hills again. The mens and womens super g are today and tomorrow and then hopefully things will settle down a little for me. So the team wants to come here and play in the snow ? Sounds good. We can try it.
Glad yer ok Mavis. Thought you had done run away and eloped with a towel salesman or something like that.
Well you all be good. I sure will be glad when this is all over. Thank you for your prayers and well wishes.


February 16, 2002 - Msg 5082: Greetings......Just checking in w/ everybody. Had some computer problems that kept me off line for a little while. Hope folks are doing well and I'll try to get over here more often.

Mr. Cookie Bar

February 16, 2002 - Msg 5083: Glad you're back, Mavis. "Working like a dog" you say. Oh you're real funny, you are. Why don't you put a red light on your nose and go in the circus? Nice to have you here, Mr. Cookie Bar. Come back! There's always room on the porch. Leave me out of that ice softball, I don't think that's in my contract, that playing on ice and snow. Later.
- Hazel

February 16, 2002 - Msg 5084: That Gomer. After he went to do his duty (being between the ages of 18 and 35), in the Marine Corps, he seems to have forgotten everybody from Mayberry. Why, today he was calling Miss Rosemary and Martha Clark both by the wrong names. And why were those two ladies in California anyway? Gomer has also run into Miss Larch, Clara Edwards, Charlene Darling, and so many others that he just doesn't seem to recognize as being from his hometown. Gomer seems happy to call them by other names. Maybe having that bucket on his head did something to his brain.

February 16, 2002 - Msg 5085: That was me, MissPeggy. My mouse hit that post button before I was done siloquizing. S'ppose he was trying to tell me to hush?

February 16, 2002 - Msg 5086: I don't know MAVIS,I've only been on here a couple of weeks.Y'all have a goodon.

Mr. Schwump

February 16, 2002 - Msg 5087: Mr. Schwump it is always good to have another golfer here on the porch. Mr. Cookie Bar welcome back long time no see. Mornin Asa ,Hazel, Miss Peggy and to all the other late risers. Not much happening here in Vol land. Think I'll have one more cup of coffee then try to get the golf club built for my sister-in-law. Check back later.

The Rock

"Sit down Gomer." (Andy)
"Crazy, guess I just wasn't thinking." (Gomer)

February 16, 2002 - Msg 5088: Mornin' everybody! Rock sounds like you have such a good heart, always helpin' everybody out. How's your Mom? Romeena, hope your doin' o.k. I've been thinkin' about you. Miss Peggy, do you think it could be a stranger in town disguised as Gomer? I think it needs checkin' out. The Asa and the moldy gun ep was on last night. I thought of our on Asa guardin' the Olympics. I had to LOL! Glad you got the screws for that gun Asa. Still lookin' for you. I think the ice softball sounds good NN, as long as we have fair umps (judges). Hey Mavis, SD, MCB,Mr. Schwump (you have a goodun' too)Fun Girl, and everybody else.--Helen

February 16, 2002 - Msg 5089: Morning Porch! Mr Schwump I was thinking of another poster we had on the other porch I reckon that went by that name, but it don't make no nevermind, we're glad to have ya! Any Andy fan is fine company in my book! Asa you be careful out there & hurry back, Hazel you got a red light for my nose, I may have found my calling! teehee.
Off to the Pet Shop for a while, then going to see The Primitives with my Aunt tonight! Can't wait, they are great!!
Got time to breathe, got time fer music!

February 16, 2002 - Msg 5090: Good afternoon porch, off to work again. Thought I'd pop in and say hey! So, everybody have a great day. See ya later--Salty Dog

February 16, 2002 - Msg 5091: Afternoon Porchterooskis. How is your Saturday? Well I hope. Just got back from watching them Olympian types do there thing down the side of a mountain. Shazaam they are good. Them women get to do it tomorrow.
Has anyone heard from Romeena? Sure hope she is well. Prayers for her. And Mrs. Wiley, you doing ok? Yer kinda quiet like. Glad to see Mavis is back with us. If we can get N.N. to speak up a little more now things will be back to normal.
Well gotta go prepare for tomorrow's events and then it's gonna calm down a tad fer me, I hope.
Ya'll be the best bunch of folks I know, so be proud of yerselves. When I told these ferners in town fer the games that I sat on the porch with ya'll, they was way impressed. So be proud of yerselves, but don't get to big headed.


February 16, 2002 - Msg 5092: Aunt Bea and I are goin' flying tomorrow, plan to fly around Mt. Pilot then land on Main St. and grab some Dinner right after church.

February 16, 2002 - Msg 5093: "You wanna know something? Jack Egbert was no prize."

February 16, 2002 - Msg 5094: Hope all are well and had a Happy Valentine's Day.
WE got GOOD news. Our neighbor doesn't have lung cancer. Thanks for your prayers. and my friend Hilda isn't having knee surgery-too high a risk of infection, but her knee is not painful now, just stiff, PRAISE the Lord !
sounds like folks are going about Mayberry in their usual fashion...rocking on the Porch and having a good chat. Have a good Sabbath !
Miss Ellie
"Everybody on the truck."

February 16, 2002 - Msg 5095: Howdy Porch, I just wanted to stop & say them Primitives were AWESOME!!! They sure have got high roofs to thier mouths!! Wish ya'll coulda been there with me! You would have enjoyed it! They was gooooooood!
they all keyed up! (I'm keyed up right there with 'em too!)

February 17, 2002 - Msg 5096: Morning porch, off to work today. I know I shouldn't be workin on Sunday but it was a last mnute kind of thing.But I'll be off in time to watch the race:) Well looks like everybodys still sleepin in this morning so I'll be extry quiet. I'll turn the coffee on and leave some hot chocolate for Asa so he'll be extra warm out on them ski slopes. Yall have a good Sabbath and I'll see ya later. --Salty Dog

February 17, 2002 - Msg 5097: Morning Porchters - Good Sabbath! Thanks fer askin after me Asa. Work has been really bad last week - I just couldn't bring myself to look at a computer after work. I don't look for it to get any better. can you say: "Enron" ? Can you say: "Employee Abuse" ? Nuf' said. Good thing I have you fine people at the Porch to take the edge off things, God Bless you one and all!

Hey to everyone, old and new!
~ Mrs. Wiley

Andy:"now, give her a little sugar. Aaawww. a little sugar on the jaw!"

February 17, 2002 - Msg 5098: Hey to Salty and Mrs. Wiley. Mrs. Wiley, that don't sound too good. Sounds like you got a real situation on your hands. You better stay away from the asphalt jungle for awhile. Stay here on the porch today and don't think about work. We'll go down and get a bottle of pop later.
- Hazel

Barney: "Knitters and crocheters seldom have stomach disorders."

February 17, 2002 - Msg 5099: Good morning to the porch! I hope everybody's well and happy. We're getting some snow here in VA this morning. Does anyone ever go over to the Mayberry Interactive stuff? Peggy's Quotes for one...I've been trying to post a quote over there since yesterday but it just won't take. I think Floyd takes care of that site, too, but I could be wrong. And I hate to bother him about it if he doesn't take care of it. He's a busy man in Mayberry. Peggy's Quotes is one of the best things on here..if you ever need a good laugh to lift your spirits, that's the place to go.

"Floyd...what do YOU know about LOVE?" (Andy)
"What do I know?!....You can't cut hair for 30 years without learning SOMEthing!" (Floyd)
(That may not be verbatim but it's close.)

February 17, 2002 - Msg 5100: Afternoon porch, Is everybody still asleep?? Hey to Emma, Hazel, and Mrs Wiley. Don't let em get to ya too bad Mrs. Wiley we're still here for ya. Well back from work, and things aint lookin good for my man Earnhardt Jr. Already had tire troubles. Oh well. See yall later--Salty Dog

February 17, 2002 - Msg 5101: Hey SaltyD, Emma and Hazel! Yep, it's a real situation! All I can do is ride it out. Crocheting sounds like just the ticket! Watching epps seem to help a great deal, too. Y'all are the CATS!
~ Mrs. Wiley

February 17, 2002 - Msg 5102: Afternoon Porchsters: Just wanted to slip by and say Hi, and thanks for all the prayers for the youn' uns. They are actually doing well. Thankfully we have a long weekend for them to get their strength back and ready for school. What a long seige we had of it!!This is one tired mom on the EDGE! Think I'll put on the race and rest for a while. Have a restful Sunday. Drop by for supper. Coldcuts, salads, tea and cake for dessert. Pepsi for Salty and Cider for Asa. How are ya holding up there Asa? Still praying for ya. ~New Neighbor

February 17, 2002 - Msg 5103: Howdy! Just moved into the neighborhood & thought I would stop by to say Hey! Been to Church, made a few phone calls, party line wasn't to busy today. Visited a Nephew & now I'm ready to kick back and relax. Got a phone call from my lil SGT. in the Army & an email from my oldest son in Fl.... Now I'm watching that all popular show The Andy Griffith Show. Love & Prayers from, Ms.Wezee

February 17, 2002 - Msg 5104: Hey Ms Wezee. Welcome to the neighborhood. Grab a rocker and sit a spell. Mrs Wiley how about if I take them Enron and employee abusers out back of the court house and slap them around a little. They may be able to kill Barney but I'm 6'2" and weigh 280lbs. Salty Dog thanks for the coffee. It was a real pick me up this morning. Mavis you take it easy now, remember we're not spring chickens anymore. Hey to Hazel and Emma. Miss Ellie good to see you again. Asa I hate to teel you this but the weather was good enough to play around of golf. Played like a (sorry Mavis and Salty) a dog but still won $8.

The Rock

"Welcome to Mayberry, gate way to Monte Carlo." (Barney)

February 17, 2002 - Msg 5105: Afternoon Porch people. A good afternoon, no in fact a great afternoon. Them women got done with there racing today at snowbasin, and that was the last event scheduled for that resort, which means my 12 and 14 hour days are about done. Boy oh boy I like it pretty good. I have missed chatting with you folks so much but things are looking up.
Welcome to Ms. Wezee. This is a great place to be with the best folks you'll ever want to hang around with.
I'm sure sorry that your job situation is so bad Mrs. Wiley. I will remeber you in my prayers for sure.
I sure hope we hear from our lovely Romeena soon, and pray that she is doing ok.
Then there is Rock, talking golf to me. It has started to warm up a little around here today and they are predicting a chance of rain for later. Bad thing is they say the rain will turn to snow. But thats ok cause its gonna be SPRING before you know it. That makes me SMILE BIG!!!
Thanks fer the prayers N.N. and Salty, and Hazel and everyone else. Lawd it's nice to be home, Later gang.