May 19, 2002 - Msg 6966: Hey Folks,

I made it home and the car looks great!! Thanks for the prayers! I'll try to write up a report on the trip. It was a blast driving a Mayberry patrol car down the road and watching folks look at it a smile as they passed.

May 19, 2002 - Msg 6967: Laaaww, Floyd! That would have been a treat indeed. Next time you're in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, drop by and take me for a ride. I'll cook you up a good supper, complete with the best biscuits you ever wrapped yourself around.--Romeena

May 19, 2002 - Msg 6968: Evening folks. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. I was real busy so I didn't get a chance to post much.
Welcome back Floyd. That must have been a neat drive back. I'm envious. Just think, now you can make u-turns and everything.
That sounds like some frightful soil you have Romeena, but as usuall you seem to have a handle on it. Thats one thing I admire about you, is your ability to deal with what life has to offer you, and make it work well for you. More of us need to be like you.
How ya feeling Mrs. Wiley? Hope yer doing ok. You got pulenty of pills and soup to get you on the mend?
Been kind of quiet around here. Guess I need to stir up the pot. But I'll use a different pot than Salty's cause she's been boiling them ramp things all day, and her pot is gettin a little thin.
Hope we all have a great week ahead, and are all doing well.

Barney: "I saw them with my own eyes, Gomer and ThelmaLou kissing."
Andy: "Gomer and Thelmalou?"
Barney: "Yea."
Andy: "Kissing?"
Barney: 'K I S S I N!!!"

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6969: Morning porch, hope yall had a good weekend. It was too quick on my end. Got a busy week ahead of me. Looking at 45 hours this week. I had to tell yall this one. Saturday morning I was at work and a friend of mine came in. He is a really big bluegrass fan and he also likes TAGS. Well one day he had come in when I had the Darlings ep playing where Charlene sang Salty Dog and he was talking about the Dillards and howmuch he liked them and all. Well Saturday, he came in and said howdy Salty Dog!! I liked to have fell over. There is no way at all he could know about my name on here. It was pretty funny. Well I didn't mean to be so longwinded. Yall have a good day. Floyd if you drive by my house would you give her a blast on the siren? Later--Salty Dog

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6970: Morning, porch. You're right Asa, it has been quiet around here. Everyone's probably been busy with all them weekend chores. Nice to have you back, Floyd. I can't wait to read your report. Did you keep your notes from your trip folded up inside your hat? Salty, did you tell your friend about your name here on the porch? You'll have to invite him to sit a spell on the porch. Have a good Monday everybody.
- Hazel

Erma Bombeck: Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6971: Morning Porch. Nice story Salty Dog. Sounds like a busy week for you. Don't work to hard.
Howdy Hazel. Hope you have a good Monday too.
Hello rest of the porch. Lets here from you all today. Hope everyone is well.


May 20, 2002 - Msg 6972: Morning Porch! Glad you made it home Floyd, I'll bet she's runnin' like a little ol' bird! Hope to see you at Mayberry Days this year and go fer a spin ("Don't touch that - dont, don't touch that!"

Salty, that's a good good story! I love it when TAGS-isms happen. My bottled water is from Acapella Springs. Guess that's not quite the same ("A-CA-pel-A, A-CA-pel-A"). Asa, I'm worried about you and fire season this year. Better find an Injun to do a rain dance. Hope you were busy clearing brush and debris this weekend. Can you do that with a golf club? Hey to Hazel, Romeena and Plum!

~ Mrs. Wiley
Barney: "You couldn't have gotten a piece of tissue paper between them they were that close!"

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6973: Afternoon Porch! Just got in from trimming puppy feet, & one kitty cat, good to be back home, but it is COLD cold cold here, did someone forget to set thier calander to May 20th? Weatherman even says there may be SNOW in the mountains tonight! Can you belIeve that? It's not supposed to do that in my neck of the woods this time of year! Floyd can't wait to see a pic of you driving that car, look out for Barney tho, he might give you a ticket for using the car for un-official police business! Hey to the rest of the porch!

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6974: Afternoon porch, back home from work. Mavis we must have the same weatherman. They is calling for snow showers here too tonight. It was 30 degrees at my house this morning. They have already issued frost and freeze warnings for tonight. Floyd, glad you made it back with the car. Can we go for a ride this Sunday? Well off to cook supper. See yall in a bit--Salty Dog

Barney: Now I'll drive....So I'll sit in the front seat.

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6975: Good afternoom Mayberry,
Sp00ky Benson

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6976: Hey to Mavis, Salty and Spooky! ~ Mrs. Wiley

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6977: Afternoon porch. Salty Dog, sure could go for a mess of them ramps. Been hetic around here. My oldest son is moving back home to try and finish his education at the University of Tennessee, so we are having to move him from Chattanooga to Knoxville. Mamma has had an eye appointment. Mamma's sister in Nashville developed pheumonia (sp). She has been bed ridden for about 3 years with a stroke. The youngest boy has had a band concert.(Twerent under the stars but it was at night. The wife has gone off with the seniors on their senior trip. And this dang puter will let me stay on for about 20 minutes then it will kick me off line. Got a friend of mine that's comming out to whack it a few good times in about a week.Other than that everything is OK in Mayberry. Miss reading and posting as much as I use to but maybe in a week or two things will quiten down and get back to normal.

The Rock

"You mean raw? Boy you are a pioneer Barney, but I'd like to have mine heated just a little bit." (Gomer)

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6978: Afternoon porch. Salty Dog, sure could go for a mess of them ramps. Been hetic around here. My oldest son is moving back home to try and finish his education at the University of Tennessee, so we are having to move him from Chattanooga to Knoxville. Mamma has had an eye appointment. Mamma's sister in Nashville developed pheumonia (sp). She has been bed ridden for about 3 years with a stroke. The youngest boy has had a band concert.(Twerent under the stars but it was at night. The wife has gone off with the seniors on their senior trip. And this dang puter will let me stay on for about 20 minutes then it will kick me off line. Got a friend of mine that's comming out to whack it a few good times in about a week.Other than that everything is OK in Mayberry. Miss reading and posting as much as I use to but maybe in a week or two things will quiten down and get back to normal.

The Rock

"You mean raw? Boy you are a pioneer Barney, but I'd like to have mine heated just a little bit." (Gomer)

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6979: Afternoon all. Snow showers huh? They are saying we might get some snow tomorrow also. It's 88 degrees right now and a chance for snow tomorrow. I sure don't get it. Oh well. Hey to Mrs. Wiley and SpOOky Benson and Mavis, and our old Salty Dog. Look out when Salty cooks, cause the pots and pans get a flying. Just pickin at ya Salty.
Yer a good cook.


May 20, 2002 - Msg 6980: guess I chewed my cabbage twice. DAD GUM PUTER

The Rock

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6981: Whoops Rock, you snucked in on me. Howdy.


May 20, 2002 - Msg 6982: Rock, I was wondering where you were! I guess you have a pretty good excuse. By the way, my computer does the same thing. Kicks me off after about 30 minutes. Wonder what causes that. Hey to Spooky, and Mrs. Wiley. How are you doing Mrs. Wiley? Did you recover from your field trip to the mailbox yet? Asa, how's Sammy doing? Nice to see you, Mavis. Enjoy yer snow.
- Hazel

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6983: Howdy Hazel, I think on my stroll I pulled a muscle right in the hip. Sore as can be, but I am a survivor. I set in my car today and started her up one time. Liked to kill me just getting in and out of it. Have a checkup tomorrow, hope Doc gives me the OK to drive again (lookout Mayberry). All in all it was a fun day. Sorry bout your 'puter problems Rock. My TV is doing the same thing - picture fades out after about 10 minutes. A good whack brings it back for a few, then it goes out again.

~ Mrs. Wiley

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6984: Why Mrs. Wiley, aren't you the dear to be worried about me while yer trying to heal up. Don't think fires will be a big worry for me though. Thanks for your concern though.
Hazel, Sammy is doing quite well. The steroids have caused him to buff right up and he seems to be getting along reasonably well. It's hard to keep him from jumping around though and I fear he will hurt hisself again. I hate yelling at him to get down when I come home cause he is happy to see me but I don't want him to hurt himself, so all in all things are good. Thanks for asking.
Howdy Mavis, my cymbols are all polished up and ready when you are.


May 20, 2002 - Msg 6985: Howdy Asa, Salty Dog, Rock, Hazel, Mrs. Wiley & SpOOkey Yep weatherman says might have snow, I sure don't want it, I want sun! Give little Sammy a hug from Aunt Mavis, will ya Asa I know it is hard for them little Dachshunds to stay down & greet you nicely, I got 2 of em that greet me the same way! I'm off to eBay for a while, see if I can find something to quiet them cymbals down a bit, I am just now getting hearing back in my right ear from last practice!

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6986: Hey, Porch. Build a snowman for me, *Mavis.


May 20, 2002 - Msg 6987: A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongu of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishnes
Proverbs 15:1-2


May 20, 2002 - Msg 6988: SpOOky, good to see you !
Hello to everyone else. Man, snow in May...not reasonable ! It is cool here too, but not that COLD.
Floyd, I bet that car is a pretty one. Will you bring it to Mayberry Days ?
Miss Ellie

May 20, 2002 - Msg 6989: Night porch, see yall in the morning. No snow yet how about you Mav?? --Salty Dog

May 21, 2002 - Msg 6990: Hi All. Will, willsnow in may not bad for this time of the year, but the cold have to go.
look at all the rain that teaxt git and all the fool to.
Living and giving
The days of my life
are spent living for jesus,
and loving each day that l live,
the best of my life
is in giving for jesus,
and giving the most i can give.
in observing the words
that are taught in the scriptures
each day,that on earth i may live.
i find that my cup
runneth over with blessings
and i get back far more than i give

May 21, 2002 - Msg 6991: Morning porch. Good to see everyone. Mavis, sorry about yer hearing problem. I hope you don't start acting like Luther. Sitting in the back row of the band, shouting "What's that? Yeah, sounded real good to me". Did you get your snow? We had snow here in July one year. It's the pits. Well, I believe I'll skip work today. So I'll see you all later.
- Hazel

May 21, 2002 - Msg 6992: Morning porch, hey to Tom. Hazel, Can I skip work with ya? I got 10 hours ahead of me today. We could go for Chineese food and then do some shopping. That sounds way more fun than work. And Asa could go too he likes shopping ;) Well no snow or at least not much when I got up this moring. Mavis I hope your hearing gets better. Found that milk yet? Well I am off here for now. Yall have a good day. See yall later--Salty Dog

P.S.--It is good to see AngeFan back on here again

May 21, 2002 - Msg 6993: Morning porch. Coffee and tea are ready. hope everybody has a great day. check bacck later I hope.

The Rock

"GOMER, get down there with them spiders." (Barney)

May 21, 2002 - Msg 6994: Hey Folks,
The patrol car is a nice one alright. I wish you could all see it in person. I bought it from Paul "Hubcaps Lesh" Muilk and it's in really nice shape.

I'm in training all this week so my times gonna be a bit limited so it might be a few days before I can get the "report" written.

May 21, 2002 - Msg 6995: Morin Porch!
Thanks for the tea Rock, The poem was great Tom, Hope you all have a great day. Miee Ellen

Lots of luck to you and yers.

May 21, 2002 - Msg 6996: Morning all. Wet on my porch this morning but not white yet. Thats ok cause we need moisture any form it comes in here.
How is everyone this morning? Well I pray.
Hey Mavis, .
Whats everyones plans for the weekend? 3 dayer so it should be a good one. A chance to pat tribute to those who have gone before us.
Guess I better go do some work.


"Whooo stole my golden armmm..."
"Whooo stole my golden armmm..."
"Whooo stole my golden armmm..."

May 21, 2002 - Msg 6997: Mornin' (almost afternoon) Porch! I think we've fixed computer. We'll just have to wait -n- see.

Romeena I hope yers gets to feelin' better.
Miss Ellie I remember you 2! Long time no see!
*Mavis you're right baby animals are adorable!
Charlotte T. I'll be sure to give your regards to the cows next time I visit!

Update on Feller watch '02: My family wants me to hurry up and do something about it b/c they're afraid that someone elst will get 'em before I can. Problem is I haven't been seein' him lately. We seem to just miss but I'm workin' om it.

Can I borrow the thinkin' bucket or is Asa still usin' it fer water?

Hey to everybody!


Miss Dixie Belle

May 21, 2002 - Msg 6998: Asa, you're "sceerin'" me!--Helen

May 21, 2002 - Msg 6999: Howdy, all! What on earth is all this business of SNOW falling on folks? I thought we were having a problem with global warming. Sure doesn't sound like it to me. On the other hand, maybe if it wasn't for the warming, you folks would be in the middle of blizzards! (heehee)
Asa, you're too kind to me. I just try to make it, one day at a time. Like yesterday - retirement residence manager called me at 7:15am, said my dad had fallen in his bathroom, EMTs there, etc. Naturally, I raced over there, found him basically OK, just dizzy. Another one of his vertigo attacks. Stayed with him all day, my brother came at 6 and stayed all night, while I went on to work. This morning, he's fine, thank the good Lord. "As$isted Living", here he comes, as soon as there's an opening. Pray for us, friends. He wants an apartment with a living area and a separate bedroom, and the "as$isted" side only has four of those. We'll take the little one-room suites if we must, but I'd love to see him get what he wants. That doesn't happen often for him these days.
Hey, Asa, how would it work if you just picked Sammy up for a couple of minutes when you come in? That way, he wouldn't be jumping, and would feel like he had greeted you properly anyway. "Might work." "Yeah, but it might not!"
My 'puter is feeling better, but still a little puny. Will probably link up with its daddy again this evening, and see if he can just heal it completely. Wish I had his smarts.
Have a great evening, friends. Sugarplum says hey!--Romeena

May 21, 2002 - Msg 7000: Laaawww! Sorry, didn't realize I had talked that much!--Romeena

May 21, 2002 - Msg 7001: You can't never talk to much Romeena:) I do pick up Sammy but the trouble is when he hears the garage door open he heads for the door jumping and barking, and if I have stuff in my hands, I gotta put it down before I can pick him up. He is so funny cause he has always carried on like that, if I'm gone to the store for 10 minutes or gone to work all day. He just carry's on something fierce. These little fellers are fearless.
Well the snow made it down to about 6,000 ft here and we are at about 4800 ft, so unless it storms more tonight we should be snow free. Now frost is another concern. We done had a bad frost 2 weeks ago and I replanted and now Thursday morning is gonna be iffy.
Hope you can find your Dad siutable accomadations Ro. Good thing yer there to look after him.
Didn't mean to skeer you Helen. Think about something else, like a web footed red crested lake loom. That'll help.
Where is my Mrs. Wiley? Doing ok hon? Hope so.
The buckets all yours Dixie Belle. I even fixed the dent in it.
Later gang, bless ya all.



May 21, 2002 - Msg 7002: whoops CONSTRICTION.


May 21, 2002 - Msg 7003: Afternoon Porch! Nope Salty no snow here this morning, thank goodness, just cold as whizz! Calling for it to be cold til the weekend, so guess I better just deal with it & get the sweaters & sweatbritches back out. Romeena hope your daddy is doing better today, I know how it can be to have a loved one in that shape. How's the car Floyd? still driving around town showing it off to ever'body? Once again, our Tom has made my day, thank you so much for posting your poems for us, you are so uplifting!!

May 21, 2002 - Msg 7004: oops looks like I'm chewing my cabbage twice here today, Wonder what causes that???
*Mavis (teehee)

May 21, 2002 - Msg 7005: I found the bucket never mind.......

Miss DB

May 21, 2002 - Msg 7006: Whoops I meant another bucket.... We now have two ya know


May 21, 2002 - Msg 7007: Have you ever thought about the words "never mind"? They really don't make sense........ Maybe it's just me..........

May 21, 2002 - Msg 7008: Asa, she's not your Mrs. Wiley; she's everybody's Mrs. Wiley.

May 21, 2002 - Msg 7009: Oooops. That was me. Hazel

May 21, 2002 - Msg 7010: Miss DB, I know you know what "never mind" means, but you're wondering how it came to be used that way, right? Well, here's how I understand it. The "mind" part doesn't refer to obedience or brain power, but refers to paying attention to, or caring about, like in "mind your manners", or "who's minding the store". So, "never mind" really does mean just what we have always used it for - don't worry about it, forget it, don't pay any more attention to whatever you're "never minding". Clear as mud? I thought so! Oh, well, never mind! (heehee) --Romeena

May 21, 2002 - Msg 7011: Afternoon porch how is everybody? Still cold on my porch. Had to drag out the big blankets last night. Already a freeze warning out for tomorrow too. Crazy weather. Heard on the radio coming home from work that Alaska is having unseasonably warm weather right now too. Weird weather. Msg 7007, thats kind of like the saying colder'n blue blazes. Dont make sense either. Blue flames are really hot. I could tell you exactly if I dig out my fire fighting text books. But you know these old sayings. Yall be praying for my uncle step uncle really I guess. I never knew my real one he died before I was born but this is my aunts second husband. He is in the hospital with a heart attack. They are hoping to have caught it in time. But it is still up in the air right now. Thanks yall. See ya later--Salty Dog

May 21, 2002 - Msg 7012: Howdy Porch! 2 Buckets - no waiting. And we got the cabbage to swing it. Now Asa and Hazel, there's plenty of Mrs. Wiley to go around. Had a trip to the Dr today, he OK'd me to drive, but I have to have plenty of naps. Mind you, not while I'm driving. Overall, I'm doing very well!

I have 2 little 7' trees outside my apartment door and there are 2 baby birds in them. They just left the nest, but can't fly too well yet so their mamma and daddy are feeding them right c'here in my front doorway. Must be winkin and blinkin. Prayers for your uncle Salty - your family is having a run on sorrows! Hope another miracle is right around the corner.

~ Mrs. Wiley

May 21, 2002 - Msg 7013: Hey, Mrs. Wiley! Aren't naps wonderful? I consider them to be one of God's best blessings. Take advantage of this time, and take all the naps you want. I sure did, and enjoyed every one of them!
How fun, to have the little baby birds right at your doorstep. I once had a nest of cardinals in a shrub outside a bedroom window. We got to watch the whole process - eggs, hatching, growing and finally flying away. What a thrill!
Salty, we're gonna have to set you up with a direct prayer line! I declare, honey, you've been hit awful hard lately. We'll keep praying for you and yours.
Sugarplum says hey!--Romeena

May 21, 2002 - Msg 7014: Hey porch, thanks for all the prayers. They are going to do a catherization (sp?) tomorrow morning at 9. Dont know yet exactly how severe the attack was. But just remember him. Most of his family lives in Ga and Tn. Well I am off here for tonight. Got 10 hours ahead of me at work tomorrow. But I have Thursday off. Oh and I thought you furkid people might get a kick out of this too. You know that they have now come pu with a "politically correct" term for our pets? Instead of pets they are now calling them "animal companions" Thats a hoot aint it? I dont think mine even know they are animals. Just little poeple with fur and 4 legs. Oh well Thanks again guys. Yall are the best and I love you all. Dont know what I'd do without ya. See ya in the morning.--Salty Dog

May 21, 2002 - Msg 7015: wow! this is a neat place to visit.. having fun so

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7016: Morning porch, last one to bed and the first one up. I gotta quit doing that. 7015 This IS a neat place come back and tell us more about yourself. Well off to work got a long day ahead of me but I have tomorrow off. Hey Miss DB hope things are good for you in the man department. If nothing else.. you could always stand on the corner and heft them up in air as they walk by. hee hee and Where is Asa? Could it be that hes turnung another year older here pretty soon and getting forgetful? What causes that?? Have a great day yall see ya after work--Salty Dog

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7017: Mornin' Porchsters- Haven't had a lot of time to post on the porch... busy with work, getting kids out of school, LAUNDRY, and of course cleaning. We're still unpacking and trying to get things into a routine. The kids are nore easily adapted to change than us "old" folks are. Glad to see everyone still chatting on the porch. I been listenin' in on the conversations, just not quick with any reply. Where is that Asa? (You can grow older, you just can't hide!) I think a good swig out of the crock will help his fear of age... TEE HEE. Drop by for a chat sometime..~New Neighbor

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7018: Mornin porch. It's off to the golf course this mornin. I'm playing with my ex supervisor. Now that I'm retired I don't have to let him win any more.(tee hee hee) Coffee is in the Mr. Coffee and the tea is on the stove. I've got the crock with me so don't be looking for it today. Miss Dixie Bell if I was only 30 years younger, hummmmmm, well I'm not so "never mind". My grandmother use to say "up in under". Have you seen my shoes? "They up in under the table."
((((((((to all)))))))

The Rock

"I done 10-4ed ya. Feels good to get it in first for a change." (Andy)

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7019: Boy Rock, talk about turning the knife. Here I am going to work while your going to play. What a mess I've made of my life...
Hey to N.N. and Salty Dog. I ain't got clue one to what yer talking about.:) Ya'll must be dreaming or something.
Guess I better go to work or else I may be joining Rock unexpectedly. Ya'll have a great day.
Oh and prayers for your Uncle Salty. Sure hope he recovers ok. I'm sure he will.


May 22, 2002 - Msg 7020: Well - only one more day and school is out. . .but WHO is counting;)? I have a conference today and tons of report writing, grade figuring and packing to do before I can leave tomorrow night. It will all get done. I had a mother who sent in 4 dozen donuts for her son's kdg. class and our hearing impaired class. Our class just keeps getting bigger - adding a little girl from India in the fall. One of our teacher's is adopting her. It should be exciting. Being where we are in Indiana, we had an all white school until I started the classroom in this building and then we had our first minority - a little girl who was Mexican American. Now we have several Mexican American children but they are very much in the minority - maybe 2-3 in a school of 550.
It is finally going to get some warm temperatures in our area today - we are looking at a high of 72. That is great compared to the frost that has been covering the ground the last three mornings. I agree with Mavis - someone has been meesing with the calendar;).
I have jabbered on way to long. . .it's good to visit again, maybe I can make breakfast for you all on Tuesday. . . my first official day off.


May 22, 2002 - Msg 7021: homemaker don't be partying too loud on yer first day off, Asa & Rock can't concentrate on that little bitty ball when we get too noisy. Course when Rock takes that crock with him I don't see how he concentrates on ANYTHING! Salty how's yer uncle? I got today off & it looks like it will be a warm one finally might get outside & play awhile, then again I might not. Hey to Ro, Hazel, Mrs. Wiley, Miss Dixie Belle, New Neighbor & all the rest of the porchsters! Where is Jelsik? Are you the same Jelsik from the 'old' porch?
got time to breathe, got time fer music

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7022: Where is Miss Ellen Brown? She r-u-n-n-o-f-t? (Oh Brother, Where Art Thou for those that haven't seen the movie)

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7023: Good Happy Mornin' to ya all! Someone HAS been messing with the calender. Feels like March instead of May. But it's a nice change of pace for those of who spend most of the year smoldering.

I have returned the bucket. Done my thinkin' for the week.

Update on Guy watch '02: Actually got to see him this mornin'. He held the door for me -n- my friend. Didn't get the chance to chat though.... not enough time, but he is a gentleman at least and he even spoke. He's a sweety.

Salty I dun tried heftin' 'em in the air. I hurt one soes my Ma made me stop.

Nice to meet ya Rock. Got a son? (haha)

I have discovered coffee...... it'll keep ya perky that's fer sure!

prayers to those who need them!

Miss Dixie Belle

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7024: Hey back atcha *Mavis!!


May 22, 2002 - Msg 7025: Could someone please refresh me on how to do the fonts and colored fonts again? I can't recall......


May 22, 2002 - Msg 7026: Hey DB email me & I will tell ya, seems like ever time I try to do that on here I mess the porch up & Floyd has to get down there with the spiders & fix it. My email is

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7027: Happy Day Porch! It's a cool-breezy-sunny mornin on my little porch. I'm headin off for a chinese lunch with the girls from the office - can't wait to get a little parasol in my rice! As well as some cool tea and spicy talk. Hey to Mavis, DB, homemaker, Asa, Rock and Salty!

~ Mrs. Wiley
I'll let you know what the fortune cookie has to say!

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7028: Thanx *Mavis. I'll have to wait till i get home to e-mail ya though. My computer is still ailing we didn't fix it after all. It seems that the virus in it won't allow e-mails to be sent complete but we can recieve them fine. I'll mail ya tonight if I can remember it before I go to church.

Thanx again *Mavis!

Miss db

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7029: Hey back to Mrs. Wiley!! Hey... can i share ya too? Asa and Hazel shouldn't get ya all to themselves!:)

BTW Hy to the New Neighbor


May 22, 2002 - Msg 7030: That will work DB might not get to answer you till tomorrow tho, the band is having practice tonight & it looks to be a long one, we are having some troubles with the bass player, that is way to long to go into here, anyways, might be a big moulage here tonight.

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7031: test

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7032: ok, ya'll put yer pencils down that was my test to see if I turned the fonts off right.

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7033: gotta find me a better color.

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7034: Afternoon porchters. Just thought I'd pop in at lunch and see whats going on.
I see our beloved homemaker has posted and is ready to celebrate. I imagine FunGirl will be too.
Mavis is off work today and being her sweet usuall self.
Mrs. Wiley is gonna take a chance and go out to lunch for chinese. Make sure you tip the violin player, they get moody.
And Dixie Belle is walking around toting that bag of peat moss and carrying her umbrella.
Salty is at work slaving away.
N.N. is still digging out from moving.
Where is Helen and Ellen Brown and Juanita and MERLE DEAN and Briscoe Sam Scott and AngeFan and Hazel and Miss Ellie and Spooky and jenniebone and Emma Watson and whew, I'm out of breath.


May 22, 2002 - Msg 7035: Boy you know what everybodies doing today don'tcha Asa/
*Mavis try a blue color.

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7036: Miss DB plenty of me to share! Although I am mighty sweet on Asa. (looks like I ain't the only one, too!) Mavis, I liked the first color - purple. It was you!

~ Mrs. Wiley's Fortune: "You have great physical powers and an iron constitution."

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7037: Hey porch! Glad ur doing well Mrs Wiley, Mavis how do u do those pretty colors? hey to Tom, Asa The Rock, HM, SD, DB, Hazel, Miss Ellie and everyone else.((((((HUGS)))))) Miss Ellen Brown

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7038: Good evening porch. . .getting ready for bath time at our house and then moa has to sit down and get lots of paperwork finished before tomorrow. I ordered lots of pretty papper for the kids next year (lime green, chartruese, magenta) and some new textbooks and lots of stickers! I like new stickers - esp. the glitter ones!
Mis DB - I can't tell you how to pick up men - sorry - I used the want ads for y guy and come to find out - we only grew up 5 miles from each other but we went to differetn high schools. And I was a late blooer because I din't get married until I was old.

Talk ti ya'll soon!


May 22, 2002 - Msg 7039: That should be momma - the "m"s aren't working to good on the puter!

May 22, 2002 - Msg 7040: My brother was a late blooer too. ~ Mrs. Wiley (heeheehee)

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7041: Evening porch, Thanks for all the prayers for my uncle. Came through the heart cath. They found a MAJOR leakage in one of the heart valves. So right now they dont know if they are going to do surgery on that or what. But please keep him in your prayers. Off to bed now worked 10 hours today but I got tomorrow off. Got to put my EMT skills to work today too. Guy came in there with severe pain in his neck and shoulder blades from a wreck. All in all it was a pretty eventful day. Yall have a good night and I'll see ya in the morning. Oh and Mavis, see if you cant keep Asa and Hazel settled down in the morning. Between him banging his cymbals and her blowing that whistle it's hard to get any sleep. Nite--Salty Dog "V;)"

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7042: Good Morning Mayberry! It's a cool 65 degrees here in Central FL, winkin and blinkin say "hey". Had to break up a spat between a ring neck dove and winkin's daddy. Those wild critters need to learn to share! Fightin over bread crumbs - the very idea. There was plenty to go around! Then the 2 of them teamed up and ran off a squirrel. Go figure.

~ Mrs. Wiley

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7043: Morning DEAR. How is everyone? Its morning and I am a morning person so you know what that means.
I'll say it with music.
Mrs. Wiley, you must be feeling better. I see your posts are coming quicker and funnier all the time. Glad yer doing well. The Lord is good, isn't he?
I wonder where Charlotte Tucker got off to? I miss her posts.
Guess I'll go to work now. Ya'll have a great day, and Mavis, I'm all keyed up now so holler when yer ready for the stand by cymbalist.


May 23, 2002 - Msg 7044: Here I is, Asa! And you don't know how glad I am you asked. I've just been busy lately I guess. I read the posts a couple times but didn't post myself. This morning I was readin' to catch up and saw your Msg 7034 and you didn't even mention me. My feelins were hurt. But thankfully I scrolled down and read 7043. You did miss me. I knew if anyone would, it'd be you. You are the unofficial keeper of the porch. You keep those porch lights burning! Well, anyway, thanks for thinkin' of me. I been editing some books and trying to declutter my house before the younguns descend upon it tomorrow for the whole summer. Should be interesting trying to work with them here and still finding time to have fun with them too (which is, of course, more important)! Is your school out homemaker? I need to e-mail you sometime 'bout my daughter's schoolwork. She fell "woefully behind" (Miss Crump) in her studies this year and I'd like to know how to help her get ready for 5th grade. Is your e-mail on the Cutlass? Prayers to all who need them--Romeena's daddy, Salty's uncle. Hey Dixie Belle, sorry, you posted me a message also. Been so long since I was on here I forgot what I said about the cows!
Charlotte Tucker

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7045: Morning HONEY. You do sound better, Mrs. Wiley. What's everybody got planned for the holiday weekend? Hey, Miss Dixie Bell. Regarding the Guy Watch '02, have you tried sitting by him on the sofa, and saying the room is hot, and turning off the light? BOOM, you're engaged!

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7046: Charlotte, you left your bolds running.

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7047: That was me, Hazel. I missed you too, Charlotte.

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7048: Hazl, You are a HOOT! "wouldn't you like to stay like this forever?" Hey to Charlotte!! Asa, the Lord is very VERY good to me. And your prayers play no small part! Thankyou, Thankyou Thankyou!! Where's Miss Ellen and '31' and Helen?

~ Mrs. Wiley

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7049: Hey Charlotte - sure would love to help you out. There are some wonderful sites on the web where you can get all kinds of worksheets, reading comprehension stuff. . .just good ol teacher stuff. . .I am a bonafide Cutlass member.

I like this Guy Watch 02 stuff - almost better than BayWatch. Miss DB - just don't be acting like Pamela Sue - she doesn't seem to pick very appropriate men.

Anyone watch the ACM awards last nite? I like Toby's song "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue."

Well - I'm off to do paperwork now.. .

Asa - not so loud now - I haven't had my morning PEPSI or Little Debbie yet?! My sugar rush has not hit!

Glad your feeling better Mrs. Wiley!
((((((HUGS)))))) to ya'll


May 23, 2002 - Msg 7050: Morning porch, boy it's hard to get any sleep around here with all that racket. Hey to Charlotte, Hazel, Asa, DB, Mrs. Wiley, and Homemaker. Hope I got everyone. Enjoying my day off. Anyone want lunch? Looks likes it's gonna be an egg salad sammich and some sweet tea. Yes , Homemaker I watched the awards from start to finish in between watching David Blaine jump 100 feet. I loved Tobys song too. Wished he would have won some awards. He is one of my favs. Hey Miss Dixie Bell have you ever thought of having him over for a pizza pie and looked at germs? It worked for Andy. Oh well I am off to do some more house work. See yall later--Salty Dog

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7051: Hey Miss DB - maybe you could throw rocks through his window with love notes attached. . .Remember you have to do the call of the wild "Hooty Hoo, Hooty, Hoo"


May 23, 2002 - Msg 7052: Good Morning you Loverly, LOVERLY peoples! I gotts tel ya'll you are more fun than a barrel of monkies!!

Thanx fer lettin' me share ya Mrs. Wiley!

homemaker I'm glad you enjoy my Guy Watch '02 and believe me it is MUCH tamer then Bay Watch could have ever hoped to be.

Hazel.... I gotta tell ya that idee about the sofa is a pretty good one...... If ya can't attract 'em trap 'em! (teehee)

Tell you the truth Salty.... Pizza and germs might not go too well together... especially mixed Ha!

I gotta go real quick but I'll be back later to give an update.

Hey back to Miss Ellen Brown and Charlotte Tucker.

Hey to everyone elst too!!


Miss Dixie Belle

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7053: Rocks huh? ..... I might catch him in the head though and then he might marry the Taxidermy whut sewed up his haid.

The call of the wild just might get me some attention though.
Kinda hard to ignore a grown girl rinin' around hollerin' "Hooty, Hoo, Hooty, Hoo."


May 23, 2002 - Msg 7054: that's supposed to be runin' not rinin'..... what is rinin'? NEW WORD... now we just need a definition.
Really gotta go now.


May 23, 2002 - Msg 7055: Hello friends! Jus' packin' fer my trip south. I'll top by when I get thar. I hope I don't get run over by a taxi cab. Time fer: "Salty Dog". Here we go.

Briscoe Darling Jr.
Hey ta':
Fun Girl
Merle Dean

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7056: Remember Briscoe, she takes 11 hat fulls. Have a safe trip! ~ Mrs. Wiley

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7057: Well no one came by fer lunch I musta skeered em off with all that germ talk. Oh well. I missed my song too. Thats all right I got CCR blaring in my house right now. A little cleaning music. Well Miss DB iffen ya didn't like the other idee you can always just club him on the head like Prissy done to Foghorn Leghorn. Just a thought. See yall later--Salty D

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7058: Not much went on here during lunch huh?

I got some time real quick soooooo....

Guy Watch '02 Update (this could become a habit):
This might take a little time but is quite funny.
A couple of my married guy friends offered to go find Mason last night after church and have a little "talk" with him. BTW Mason is this guy's name. Well I knew he would be at Burger King studying with the guys for a chemistry test so we all loaded up and went to town. They have no idea who he is so they were going to go in ask which one was Mason and then ask him to step outside so they could talk to him about me. They had already left by the time we got there though.

One of these guys however knows his father and does buisness w/him so if he said he would call Mason's dad today and get him to put the idea into his head.

Things are moving along. Although I'm not sure
if this is the right approach. What do ya'll think?

I asked God to see him this morning and I got to then I asked to see him at lunch and low-n-behold who do you think walked into Subway? God is GOOD! I hope that I'm not reading this the wrong way. We'll see!

If all elst fails I'll try all of ya'll's suggestions....but not all at one time!

A club huh?.....

Severely winded,

Miss Dixie Belle

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7059: wow that was much.....

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7060: Evenin Porch!
Hey Des DB CT Hazel Mrs Wiley Asa Spooky Rock Miss Ellen 31 Miss Ellie Mavis HM SD BJ Helen Romeena Tom Pollyanna Sugar Plum Sammy ohhhh I hope I didn't miss anyone ifin I did hey to you too. ((((((HUGS))))))))) Aunt Bee

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7061: Hey Aunt bee. Where ya been? We been missing you around here. Glad yer back.
Yer so kind Charlotte. But I just miss ya'll when ya don't show up here. Ya'll make my day here on the porch and don't you forget it.:)


May 23, 2002 - Msg 7062: Aunt Bee, I missed you up there in my roll call. Hey to ya! ~ Mrs. Wiley

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7063: Good evening, folks! All is well here on my corner of the porch, hope the same is true for all of you. My dad is doing okay at the moment, I'm off work tonight (yippee) and just watched a TAGS ep. All is right with my world, at least right now! Sugarplum says hey!--Romeena

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7064: Hey to Ever'body now THAT covers it don't it? LOL I'm just checking in before I hit the ironing board tonight. Good luck with the fellar DB feels like Mayberry After Midnight here! teehee

May 23, 2002 - Msg 7065: that everbody included the furkids too!

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7066: Night porch, see yall in the morning. Thanks for all the prayers for my uncle. He is coming home tomorrow but they have him scheduled for open heart surgery in June. So for right now he is doing somewhat better. Thanks again guys--Salty Dog

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7067: Well since it is posting the 24th already. I get to be first to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Asa. Have a good un. You're the cats. Later--Salty D

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7068: Morning porch. Happy Birthday Asa.
- Hazel

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7069: HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dear, sweet Asa-man. We love you honey!
C> C> C> C> C> C> C> Ice creams all-around!

~ Mrs. Wiley
Does this mean that your bullets turn a darker shade of green?

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7070: Morning Porch. Thank you all so much for the birthday greetings. You folks are the bestest. Don't know what I would do without ya'll. Thanks for being my friend. sniff sniff And for always being there for me, snort sob, and for all you do for me, honk snort.
I love you guys.


May 24, 2002 - Msg 7071: So Asa - do we need to call the local fireman to put out your cake? How any candles again?? I bet I'll be able to see it all the way over here in Indiana! Hope it is a happy one. . .

School is out! School is out! School is out!
Did I mention school is out!


((((special birthday hugs Asa))))

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7072: Mornin porch. Heard a good one yesterday. "If you take something apart and put it back together enough times, you will eventually have two of them."Rolled on the floor laughing when I heard it. Now about this throwing Rock through a window. I'll deliver any message you want me to, you don't have to throw me through any window. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Asa. I think I'll go out and play golf in your honor. Yep that's the plan. Go out. Play golf. In your honor.

The Rock


May 24, 2002 - Msg 7073: Good mornin', folks! Alright now, let's not be throwin' Rock or any rocks through any windows! Land sakes, turn my back for a minute.... Next thing I know, you'll be runnin' with scissors!
(ahem, me-they-me-they-me-they) Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Asaaaaaaaaaa, Happy Birthday a-to a-yeeewwwwww! There, that was from me and Sugarplum!--Romeena

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7074:
I fixed it. No need to call the man, I hope!--Romeena

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7075: Golly' you all are so nice. Thank you Homemaker, now that schools out we will see more of ya.
If yer playing in my honor Rock, make sure you slice em good, thats what I would do.
Romeena and Sugarplum, that were just beautiful. Brouhjt tears to my eyeballs.


May 24, 2002 - Msg 7076: Oh btw Mrs. Wiley, them bullets are turning a real DARK shade of green. Skeering me.:) You should see how big my roll of tin foil is getting though.


May 24, 2002 - Msg 7077: Morning porch off to work. Short day today just 4 hours. In honor of Asa's birthday. I hope they get all them fires under control out west before they light Asa's cake. Could be a bad thing. Tee Hee. ;) Yall have a good one. And think about poor OL Asa having to slave away today on his birthday of all days. Hey hows about cake and ice cream and some sweet cider at my house toinght?? Yall come. See youns later--Salty Dog

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7078: Happy Birthday Asa...I'd get up to shake your hand, but I got the misery in my back....

--Jelsik T. Bulkhead

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7079: I'm so ashamed of myself. I had my calendar marked and I wanted to be the first to wish Asa happy birthday bright and early this morning. But here I am 2:00 in the p.m.! That's what happens when the younguns are home for the summer! Anyway--HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ASA! Remember, one mistake a better cake. Salty, you cracked me up with that pizza and germs idea! That's the best. It worked for Mary. And Romeena! You never cease to surprise me with your wit--runnin' with scissors! Oh, ya'll are crackin' me up today. Hang in there Dixie Belle. He'll come around if he's worth his salt. Have you asked the most important question yet? I mean, you know, Does he watch TAGS? Better ask that one. If not, fergit him! Where's Ellen Brown? She didn't float away did she? We had another gully washer last night. And where were we? Sittin' in the pouring rain and the lightning waiting for some fellas with dim bulbs to call my son's baseball game off. They finally did after the top of the first inning but my husband and son were drenched through and through. Hey to Rock, Hazel, homemaker, Aunt Bee, and Briscoe. Glad you're doin' so very well, Mrs. Wiley! (Aunt Bee, I thought you changed your name to something else. Did I miss something? Not complainin', Aunt Bee's just fine by me.)
Charlotte Tucker

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7080: Hey to Jelsik!

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7081: Happy Birthday ASA!!!hope I turned them all off!

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7082: Yeah, turned them off, now the company can't charge me extry for leaving them on! teehee

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7083: Thanky thanky thanky everyone for your birthday wishes. I declare ya'll make me feel so good I might just do it again next year.
Don't git up Jelsik, I know all about that misery.
And Salty only working a half day in my honor... then inviting us over for refreshments later. Shucks, I wish we could really do that.
Thank you Charlotte, for your greetings. I'm just happy you joined us.
And Mavis, how kind you are. After all the cymbal banging I've been doing and making you go deaf and all, and you still like me. Bless yer heart.
I say it again, ya'll are the best friends in the world and I wouldn't take a dollar and a quarter fer ya. That was meant as a compliment btw.:)


May 24, 2002 - Msg 7084: Miss D.B. rining is when your eating a specially good melon and you are down to the rin' and you keep eatin' anyhow. Floyd, be sure you avoid Barney when you are crusing around in the squad car and not on official police business. Don't want to have him arresting you and accusing you of "malfeasance." If he did it to Andy and wrote his mother a ticket for jay walking, you never know how hard he would be on you.
Fun Girl

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7085: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASA! Hope your day has been a good 'un! I'll sing to you over at Salty Dogs place later but here's your birthday hugs ((((ASA)))). I want to tell you how special you are to us on your special day. You're the best!
Tom's birthday is tomorrow. Y'all come on over to my porch for a surprise (whisper) party. Homemade ice cream and cake. I might even flip a burger or two. Don't tell Tom now.
CT, good to hear from you. Been a missin' you.
Good advice to DB about having a "mixed relationship" (not liking TAGS or not) Can't have that can we. See ya'll at Salty's.--Helen

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7086: Party? At Saltys? I'm there!
- Hazel

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7087: Hey Asa bet you'd take a dollar & a half tho wouldn't ya? haha I'm heading to Salty's then over to Helen's for Tom's surprise party! See ya'll there!

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7088: Man oh Man two parties in the same weekend!!What fun. Are we gonna have a Memorial Day grill out too? May as well make a weekend of it. See yall later got to work tomorrow. --Salty Dog

May 24, 2002 - Msg 7089: Happy Birthday To Asa. Three cheers for Asa:
Hipp-Hipp horaaaaaaaaa Hipp-Hipp horaaaaaaaaa
hipp-hipp horaaaaaaaa!! Something just ain't right. There seems to be a orange glow around. Oh, It's the glow of Asa's birthday cake! And I'm on the other side of America! Just kiddin'.
Happy Birthday tomorrow, Tom. Need a hand with the ice cream, Helen? Here is some if you need it. C> C> C>


Bert Miller: Don't get it if you don't need it.
Do you think I'm being to pushy?
If there's one think I can't stand
it's a pushy salesman.

May 25, 2002 - Msg 7090: Good morning porch, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOM!!! Hope you have a wonderful day today. Off to work today. See yall later--Salty Dog

May 25, 2002 - Msg 7091: Morning Porch. Thank you again for all of your birthday wishes for me yesterday. It really made my day. Some of your e-cards made me laugh, some made me cry and some made me laugh so hard that I cried. You're the best there be. And old Salty knows how to throw a party don't she? Mercy that were fun. I still think Hazel looks good in a lampshade.
Happt birthday to Tom, our porch poet. May the Lord bless you on this special day friend.
I'll be over to Helen's for the party later, if I can get rid of this headache.
Ya'll have a great day and weekend friends. Love ya all.


May 25, 2002 - Msg 7092: Morning porch. Happy Birthday Tom. What time is the party at Helens? Do you want me to stand out side and do my Hoot Owl when I see him coming? I'd be glad too. Hoot Hoot
- Hazel

May 25, 2002 - Msg 7093: Hazel, don't be eatin' any crackers out there while your waitin for Tom's maroon sedan (maroon? that's a new make to me). HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOM! We sure do love you and are glad you are here to help us look "Up" when we're looking down.
C> C> C> C> C> More Icecream!

That were a fun party for Asa, good thing I found some earrings the same shade of green as his bullets. And nobody dunked their napkins in the punch bowl and threw them up at the ceiling. Yep, it were a fine party!

~ Mrs. Wiley

May 25, 2002 - Msg 7094: iiiii

May 25, 2002 - Msg 7095: I'll try that again:


May 25, 2002 - Msg 7096: Uh-oh, should have added way more candles on that cake - guess TOM's older than I thought! ~ Mrs. Wiley
I think she's a NUT!

May 25, 2002 - Msg 7097: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOM! Hazel, that would be good if you did a hoot owl, just don't be eatin' any sammiches o.k.. It kinda messes up the hootin'. Ya'll come any time (whispered). Tom can you come to my porch around 3:00? I need your help fixin' somethin' (wink wink). AngeFan, I could use your help makin' the ice cream. If you could sit on the top while I turned the crank, you could hep hold it down! I'll even give you a towel
to sit on. See ya'll later. --Helen

May 25, 2002 - Msg 7098: Hey Mrs. Wiley your already sneakin'. You were here before I knew it!--Helen

May 25, 2002 - Msg 7099: Hi Helen, I love that dress! Is that a double row of rinestone buttons? That was slick the way you asked TOM for some help! ;-)
~ Mrs. Wiley

May 25, 2002 - Msg 7100: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOM!!!--Romeena
Sugarplum says hey!