July 09, 2002 - Msg 7854: Afternoon Porch! Jared go to Lycos & type 'Hal Smith' in the search & you will find lots of stuff, that is how I found my stuff for the Cutlass (that needs finishin' I know, I know, I'm getting to that!) *RAFE!!! you stayed gone way to long, thought you got run over by a cab or something! Give Mama Possum a hug from the porch when she gets home! I got soup beans on & 'bout ready to eat if anybody wants some!

July 09, 2002 - Msg 7855: Now there I go again, don't know what it is about that porch broom, just seems to fit my hand good or something!

July 09, 2002 - Msg 7856: Hey folks, where was it that I read the story about some kids in a neighborhood who always saw their kindly neighbor man sitting in his garage drinking a beer almost every afternoon? He would always smile and wave and was a real sweet heart. Turns out that he was out very own Hal, a.k.a. Otis. If I could remember where I read it I could email this young man and pass it on. I wonder if Jared has any sound clips of Hal as Winnie the Pooh, or if he even knows that Hal was the voice of Pooh in later years.

Well possum, I like the idea of a book. We could call it "Oh The Stories We Could Tell". What do you think? I have one about Chuck, my 8 year old autistic friend. He kept telling me he wanted to kiss me. I just said, "Oh Chuck, you are so silly." He said, "No, I mean it, I do!" I think I may have told that story already now that I think of it, but you can't tell a good story too many times. Especially if it makes you look good. Glad to see Rafe back. We figured that you had been locked up somewhere for shinin'.

I can not say that we ever had a station wagon, but my dad had a 1972 Datsun Sedan and it had the kickingest stereo that you ever heard. We used to give a boy from school a ride home every day and he always said that we were the only family he knew where the kids told the dad to turn down the stereo. We girls always were fighting over who got to ride shotgun. This was after he and Mom were divorced so the shotgun position was open. (Lets just say that dear old Dad went through a late adolescence. When I was a teenager he went to a KISS concert. Oh well to each his own.)

Well to all you folks out there who are trying to watch your weight, I finally looked up the slim-fast web site and you would not believe all the neat stuff they have on there. I have four "buddies." You email each other and be supportive and give enocouragement, etc. It's a pretty cool site.

"Andy and Barney were lawmen.
Bravest you ever did see.
Warned every crook in the record book,
To stay out of Mayberry.
Oh they were the law.
Yes they were the law,
And they didn't know fear."
--Anyone remember that episode?

Well I will go for now as I have taken up enough space here on the porch. Hugs to all.
Fun Girl

July 09, 2002 - Msg 7857: Hey, Fun Girl. Nope, I don't remember that one, much to my surprise! Tell me more about it, please?
Asa, I declare, you make that corn sound like it was grown in heaven. There's just nothing better than good fresh sweet corn. I like it with nothing on it, and I like it with everything on it. I just like corn!
Off I go, gotta go to work. Retirement calls, wish I could answer. Sugarplum says hey!--Romeena

July 09, 2002 - Msg 7858: Fun Girl,

I'm sorry but that story about Hal Smith above isn't true. Mr. Smith NEVER drank. I've got that from George Lindsey, Jean Carson, Betty Lynn and several other folks that actually knew him. They mention it because "Otis" was the "town drunk" and they think it's funny that Hal Smith never drank.


July 09, 2002 - Msg 7859: Floyd's right. Hal Smith never drank. I did always think that he acted the part well, never to have drank. I never knew that about him doing Pooh's voice. Did ya'll know that Howard Morris did Gopher in the later Pooh series, as well?
Fun Girl, don't remember the episode with that in it, but I don't have a good memeory. Ya'll come up with the greatest quotes, and I can't hardly remember any. I'll just enjoy the ones ya'll come up with. FG, I'll have to try out the slim-fast site. I just can't seem to get rid the last few pounds. Can't be the ice cream though. ;)
AngeFan has been at theater camp this week, he'll go next week too. Then the next week he'll be at a spend the nite Bible study camp. I sure have missed him. I try the Howard Spragues mother technique. I tell him that "I have a splitting headache" and try to act all pitiful, so he'll stay home. It doesn't work, he just laughs and says "Oh Mom!"
Des, so sorry about you Father-in-Law. I know what it's like to lose a Daddy, so I can empathize with him. You all will be in my prayers these next few days.
Congratulations to all the 4-H ribbon winners. Sounds like a lot of hard work was done. Glad it paid off.
Good to see you back on the porch Rafe. We've missed you. Now if BDJ and a few others would get back, we'd be fine and dandy.
Salty, have you heard about the UNC-Chapel Hill controversy about incoming freshmen having to read the koran (not capitalized intentionally)? That was a hot topic on our local radio show yesterday and I thought of you, since it's in your neck of the woods. Anyway where's the ACLU, on this one? Can you imagine if they were required to read the Bible? They're would be an uproar. This is just Satan's group and he doesn't care if they read that stuff. On the other hand a new college, Patrick Henry, failed to get accredited, because they teach creationism and not evolution. Like the Bible said folks, in the last days what's right is wrong and what's wrong is right. I see this EVERY day on the news and in the world. We better be lookin' up, our Redemption draweth nigh. Sorry to get on my soapbox again and be so chatty. Ya'll have a good nite.Tell Sugarplum hey back, Ro. Glad she's all better. (((Des and family)))--Helen

July 09, 2002 - Msg 7860: Well I wish I knew where I heard that story so that we could set em straight. Sorry to have messed up. Kinda feel like I stepped into a hornet's nest.

Romeena, I don't remember much about the episode except Barney making up this whacky song and singing it to Andy, who was so embarrassed. There was another verse but I can't quite remember what the words were. (Something about Mac the Knife and Dillenger.) It was to the tune of Frankie and Johnny and Barney was so puffed up. It had me in stitches.

It seems like I had heard that Earnest T. Bass had done the voice of Gopher. Once you know it, you can really hear him when you listen to Gopher in the Pooh videos. I think that Hal Smith did an awesome Pooh. And he had some hard shoes to fill after Sterling Holloway.
Fun Girl

July 10, 2002 - Msg 7861: Morning porch, off to work again, and I dont wanna go not one bit. I remember somebody posting that story on here about that guy. It was a while back but I remember we were all trying to guess who it was and the person who told it waited a day or so before telling us. Look in the archives and see if you can find it. I will look when I get home from work. Yall have a great day and act like somebody. --Salty D

July 10, 2002 - Msg 7862: Good morning Porch! Gotta run, but wanted to say "hey". Asa, you take good care of your Boy - get him a coloring book and a milkshake (even though he's all growed up, it still helps).

~ Mrs. Wiley

July 10, 2002 - Msg 7863: Well ya'll - this old girl needs some prayers today - some big ones. We had a severe altercation with the man who bought our horse last night and needless to say, we are buying her back from him. It's a long story but he did some pretty severe name-calling to my husband and myself and threatened bodily harm as well. And he wasn't joking. They are returning the horse tonight and since we pasture it somewhere else I told my husband that I wasn't going to be around that man anymore so I am staying home. Now I fear that because once he drops the horse off - he could swing by here. So now I am going to have someone come over and be with me or I am leaving for awhile. The man blew it all out of proportion, got his brother involved, tried to harass us all hours of the night last night. It was awful. My children were upset because I was upset. They wanted to hold mommy because I was just sobbing. Needless to say - it was a sleepless night for us. I am sorry to unload on ya'll but some of you have pretty powerful connections. I'll take all I can get. Thanks for listening.


July 10, 2002 - Msg 7864: Morning, porch.
- Hazel

July 10, 2002 - Msg 7865: Y'all haven't mentioned, I don't think, that Mayberry's own Leon...Clint Howard...was the voice of Rue on Pooh as well. We had 4 Mayberry folks doing "Pooh" voices at one time. Sterling Holloway as Pooh, Hal Smith as Owl, Howard Morris as Gopher, and Clint as Rue.


July 10, 2002 - Msg 7866: Hey to the Porch.

Floyd, your education was worth every penny...


July 10, 2002 - Msg 7867: Morning Porch. Gosh Homemaker, that sounds like a real situation you have there. You be careful, and tell your hubby to be careful too. Why do folks have to acy like that? You folks are in my prayers for sure.
I remember hearing that story to FunGirl, about Hal Smith. Thanks for setting us straight Floyd.
Hey to Hazel, your still quiet. You still watering your garden? LOL
Sorry about the work thing Salty Dog. We need jobs like they have in Mayberry, where they sit around all day and talk and have a good old time in front of Floyd's. Maybe someday.
Howdy Helen, sounds like AngeFan is wise to your ways. LOL
Hey to Mrs. Wiley. I got him comic books and been giving him massages... Down and around... down and around... down and around...


July 10, 2002 - Msg 7868: WELL....I sure am glad that I ain't a taco short of a como plate. I knew that I had read that somewhere. Not that it makes it any better that there are people out there who would lie. (They would never do that in Mayberry.) But this story was told as fact right here on our own front porch. The shame of it all.

Went up to Mt Pilot and worked out at the Y and let me tell you....I am sore! When you aren't used to exercise and you get a body this big in motion, well the next day you just ache all over. But if I can keep myself going for a week, usually be then I am going good and strong and running like I got a tiger in my tank. Does anyone else remember the commercials for a chain of gas stations and as a premium they gave away panty hose that had a little tiger printed on the waist band. Their slogan was get a tiger in your tank. I think that was right. Maybe that is one of them there delusions you have after too much exercise.

Well Asa is there anything you don't know how to do. Now we find that you are even an accomplished masseuse(?). Hey train you a couple of us girls to work for you and hang a couple of Y2 whatevers and you could open a fancy day spa. If ya got two tables I reckon you could swing it. I would be willing to train for the job, but first you have to guarantee that any UPS man that comes in gets to be MY client. And the wrasslers, don't forget the wrasslers.

Good luck today homemaker. My thoughts and prayers. The Lord will surround you house with his angel army and protect you I am sure.

Well I will run for now. Go forth and conquer and ACT LIKE SOMEBODY.
Fun Girl

July 10, 2002 - Msg 7869: Hey I just remembered the second verse of that song "Pretty Boy Floyd came a riding.
Dillenger too, big as life.
They weren't alone, there was Al Capone
And in back was Mac the Knife.
Oh they were the law.
Yes they were the law,
And they didn't know fear."

Fun Girl

July 10, 2002 - Msg 7870: Poor homemaker - prayers for your family's safety and your horse's wellbeing. I'm sure if you had to take him back, it was serious. ~ Mrs. Wiley

July 10, 2002 - Msg 7871: homemaker, I'm glad you're getting the horse back. Anybody acting like that may abuse the horse. Prayers for ya'll.--Helen

July 10, 2002 - Msg 7872: Well. . .to give you an update on the horse situation. . I am a little more calm now but still upset. We have the local sheriff's deputy (and no, I think his bullets are in his gun) coming out to supervise the handover of the horse. My husband has a buddy from work going with him and I am going to our woods with the boys and then my husband is going to meet me there after it is all over with. The sherriff said this was the second horse incident this month that the people bought the horse after riding and then claimed all kinds of things wrong with the horse when they got it home. People are just nuts. I fear that they will do something to her and she is too sweet to let anybody mishandle her. She is a reg. appaloosa (brown with a frosty rear end). Just as sweet as you can get. So I am having my vet check her out this next week to make sure they didn't damage her for life. Thanks for all the prayers -
You know we buy and sell goats, we treat our animals right - sometimes we spend more on them than ourselves and then you get some nut like the one who bought our horse. . .who just slander you to all pieces.

Well. . .THANK YOU ALL AGAIN and I sure do appreciate you all. Asey - I may need a good masseuse by the end of the day.


July 10, 2002 - Msg 7873: Oh by the way FG - I remember the person writing in here about Hal Smith sitting in the garage drinking. They were neighbors or something.

July 10, 2002 - Msg 7874: Hey homemaker....keep us updated on the horse situation. Toughts and prayers for your family.
Just to bring a smile......

Andy:"Barn, I didn't know you was in the
Spanish Club!"
Barney: "Si."

"Smile it increases you face value."
Truvy--Steel Magnolias

And you can sign me...
Fun Girl

Dog gone it! Whenever I type it real fast I always get FUN GRIL.

July 10, 2002 - Msg 7875: That Barney and his "genuine smile" when he says "Si.". Love it! ~ Mrs. Wiley

July 10, 2002 - Msg 7876: Hey Fun Girl,

I found the note about Hal Smith. It was back on Dec 9, 2001. Msg 3693 and then again on Dec 15, 2001 - Msg 3803.

I'm not too sure I believe that he was actually drinking "beer" as the feller that wrote it didn't seem to have been getting close enough to to house to know that for sure BUT I'm sure he was telling the truth about seeing Hal and Hal drinking something and waving from the porch.


July 10, 2002 - Msg 7877: Dear Homemaker,

July 10, 2002 - Msg 7878: Let me try that again. I am just learnin how to use this here computor... Hope things are better for you and your family, Homemaker. My prayers are with you. Remember to cast your cares on the Lord because he really cares for you! --Aunt Bee

July 10, 2002 - Msg 7879: prayer/////for/////you/////all/////////////////////////i//will///keep\\\\\you\\\\all\\\\in\\\my\\\\\\\\\heart////./

July 10, 2002 - Msg 7880: here i am and here i go.
no one want me here so i stop coming in for now?

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7881: The horse situation resolved peacefully - Thank the Lord and all the prayers for that. The man apologized to my husband and we all got sleep last nite. The farrier (the horse shoe man) is coming out today and then the vet probably next week. She and we and the other two horses/donkey were happy to be a family again. The tension really eased in all of us when she came home and we didn't have to deal with them anymore.

To 7880 -everyone is welcome on the porch, I don't understand your message.

I am not fixing brakfast this morning - I am going back to bed to catch up on last nite's missed sleep. See you all later in the morning.

Thanks again for all the support and prayers.


July 11, 2002 - Msg 7882: Good deal homemaker. Glad it resolved peacefully.
I reckon Salty will have to cook breakfast this morning. Lord I hope she don't serve ramps again.:)
OK Here's the deal. I'm pouring 8 yards of concrete today. I need some help cause it is all flat work. Any of you ladies decorate cakes? I find cake decoraters are good cement finishers. They have that touch. So if you is, come on over to my house later.I have the floats to swing it.:)


July 11, 2002 - Msg 7883: Asa, can I make my foot print in your concrete? I've always wanted to do that... Gee, Homemaker, couldn't you make breakfast for us before you head back to bed? Message 7880 almost sounds like the way our Tom writes. Tom, if it is you, please come back! We miss you. Of course we want you here. And if it's not Tom, then whoever it is, like Homemaker said, everyone is welcome.
- Hazel

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7884: Hello all! Glad to see everyone bright and early.

Msg 7880.... they're right ...everyone is welcome so come on back and talk a while!

Anything interesting happen lately? how about some people sharing some funny stories? That's always interesting:-)

I'm teaching our Puppy/dog (inbetween stage right now) to rool over, sit and heel but she won't stay still long enough to shake hands and she is too airheaded to play fetch!

Well that's about it in my world.

Miss Dixie Belle

ps-- *Mavis you're just a cleaning machine when it comes to the porch sweeping time!

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7885: Morning porch! Asa, you are on your own with the concrete buddy. I helped my husband hang and finish sheet rock ONE time and I had more of that sheetrock mud on me than on the walls. But when it gets dry can we bring our skates over to try it out? To 7880, Tom, if that is you we need you. How are we gonna get our softball team together without our chaplain? Your poems help me so much. We really miss you please come back. Well on another note.. My 2nd cousin that was shot back in Match finally told the sherrifs that his uncle shot him. So they have my other cousin in jail now. So, things are kinda tense around the family now. But I am glad that my cousin is doing better. Yall have a good day and I will see yall after work!!--Salty Dog

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7886: I put a snail mail into the mail box yesterday to Tom, hoping to hear something from him or his family. I'm getting worried too. I've emailed him, but got no repsonse.
Miss Ellie

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7887: Well Asa - I'm with Hazel, I want to put my foot print and my hand print in your concrete. you could dedicate that section to the porchsters! As far as cake decorating - mine would never win a prize at the fair :) LOL maybe!

Salty - I hope things calm down in your family soon. Our prayers are with you!

See Floyd, Fun Girl and I have good memories about what's written on the porch. But we need you to keep us all straight about the facts. Yep - that's your job - keeping us straight on fact from fiction.
I saw the TAGS last night and I think my name should have been Miss Vogel (the home ec teacher) but I can't change from homemaker now. It was just funny though - that was my grandmother's maiden name. And not too common of a name at that. I know there is the big debate about the colorized vs. the black and white TAGS but I like them all.

Well - see you on the porch later.

homemaker (Miss Vogel - I just knew her and Howard were going to jitterbug last nite, I was so disappointed!)

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7888: If 7880 is Tom, just look at the archives. Everyone misses you. Many are the times that people have posted wondering where you are. We need another of your inspiring poems. We know that you can come up with one. What do you say?

I guess BDJ may have gone off and joined the WWE and is now hanging out with the Rock. I didn't know that WWE went to the Florida Keys. If you two are out there, let's hear from ya, dad burn it.

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7889: Asa, I just checked the archives and found out about your son. I hope he his better. You were talkin' about the corn and the butter drippin' sounded sooo goood. Reminds me of my Father-in-Law eatin' a tomato sandwich. He puts so much Mayo on it practically runs down his arm! I'm just as bad, I like um that way too. With tons of salt and pepper.
I've made a couple of b'day cakes Asa, I can do the stars pretty good, but not the roses. I could edge the concrete job with stars. I think it would be quite lovely! :) I'll bring the bags to do it, since all you have are floats.
homemaker glad the horse situation is better. I've prayed for you and especially the man.
Salty, family problems are hard. Just hang in there, o.k.
Still missing AngeFan. It's kind of like walking around in the dark without him here. He usually is talkin' or singin' or playin' the piano or makin' some kind of noise, so it's sure is quiet. I've tried watchin' TV, don't usually watch it much. It's so depressing. The world is so wicked, and it sure comes out on daytime TV. It's changed alot since I was a kid (not so long ago. ;))Ahh to go back to Mayberry times.
Rain here on my porch today.
Ya'll have a blessed day.---Helen

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7890: Hey homemaker and Fun Girl, you two DO have great memories. I guess I missed it the first time that info about Hal was posted. I could be wrong about what I said but I've just heard it from several folks that actually did know Mr. Smith that he didn't drink. Oh well, I guess we may never know for sure.


July 11, 2002 - Msg 7891: Hey to the porch!!! And a BIG "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" to Emmett.

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7892: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" Des
Emmett & Martha

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7893: Happy Birthday to Emmett and Des! ~ Mrs. Wiley

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7894: Happy Birthday to a couple of the porch's all-time greats, Dež and my old bowling and checker playin' buddy, Mr. "Warm and Sunny" himself, Emmett!

Milton P. Oliver
"Well, it *is* a special occasion"

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7895: Yo! to Milton and Martha....and Happy B-Day to Des and Emmett!!

--Jelsik T. Bulkhead

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7896: Sorry Asa- We were playing an innocent round of golf- and who would have thought that the little, itty, bitty ball would have gone right in the smack middle of your cement. And of course, not thinking, all of us ran in after it!! Does make a nice decoration- none of the neighbors will have cement like it! Why, you'll be the envy of the neighborhood, people will be calling, asking where you got such a slab! Any time we can help- JUST CALL!! ~New Neighbor and the Mayberry Gang

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7897: Happy Birthday to Emmett and Des. I hope you had a fun day.
"Bobby Gribble hates Emma Larch

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7898: News Flash...The Incredible Mr. Limpet is on tonight. TCM

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7899: Happy Birthday Dež and Emmett!! Wow..the things you learn here on the porch. I'd have let this day go right by without knowing it was y'alls birthday. I hope y'all have/had a great one.


July 11, 2002 - Msg 7900: Whoops.....it was about to slide right past me,
Happy Birthday Des and Emmett !

Miss Ellie

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7901: Hey Porchsters! Been busy working on books this week. One more week to complete another book and then it's off to the great Northwest! A friend of mine came over last night with her brochures and pictures of Oregon. What a beautiful place. Can't wait to go there. The kids will be off at church camp next week so maybe hubby and I can get things ready to go. Homemaker, I know just what you were going through. When someone says hateful things to you or your family, it's just hard to get it out of your mind. Hope all is better now. I'm sure it'll be awhile before you can forget that awful fellow. How's the concrete, Asa? We sure do miss Tom. I hope Miss Ellie hears something. Don't work so hard, Salty. Sorry to hear about the troubles in your family. Bummer. Where's Briscoe? And what on earth has happened to our Rock? Hey to Jelsik. Happy Birthday to Dež and Emmett! Cake decoratin. That's something I ain't too good at. Good evenin' . Slow down. Sit a spell on the porch. What's your hurry?
Charlotte Tucker

July 11, 2002 - Msg 7902: A quick hello to everyone! Happy Birthday wishes to you guys and also sorry about your loss Des.
Homemaker-glad the trouble is over and you're able to have some peace back. Asa,don't think you want me helping with that concrete either! I would like to put my "possum claws" in it though!
Well,it's late and I need to get back under my rock-expecting thunderstorms this evening.
Y'all take care of yourselves. P.S. Mama possum came home from the hospital yesterday (spinal fusion). She's doing real good-no pain & able to walk with a walker.

possum under a rock

July 12, 2002 - Msg 7903: boo

July 12, 2002 - Msg 7904: Another spinal fusion - possum you need to confer with Asa on those back massages!
Happy Birthday to ya'll 0> 0> 0> I scream You Scream We all Scream for Ice Cream!
Things were sure peaceful tonite - checked on the horses and Gypsy sure is doing better now that she is home. We went to her pasture and gave her a good rubdown. She is the sweetest thing.
I have my little Bandito right next to me snoring so I think it is off to bed we will go. He is a Boston Terror but he thinks he's my son.


July 12, 2002 - Msg 7905: Morning porch, off to work just wanted to say belated Happy Birthday to Des and Emmett. Hope things are well with everyone. See yall later--SD

July 12, 2002 - Msg 7906: Mornin' Porch! I'm glad to see things worked out for ya homemaker;) Salty, I'll remember yer family in my prayers. Happy belated Birthday to Des & Emmett! Everyone else who needs prayers you got'um!

I'm bein'have. Are ya'll bein'have?

Hey Asa..... how's the concrete? Cin I writ muh naim 'n it? Iah rite reel gud!

Hey to-- CT, MPO, Emmett & Martha, Asa, homemaker, FG, Floyd, Tom, Rock, Salty, Rafe, Des, Possum, Miss Ellie, jennieboone, New Neighbor, Jelsik, Romeena, Mrs. Wiley, Helen, AngeFan, BDJ, Hazel, Aunt Bee, *Mavis, and Dixie Belle .......oh waitaminute...that's me!
Hey also to anyone that I may have left out and all visitors!

Luv Ya

Miss Dixie Belle Edwards

July 12, 2002 - Msg 7907: Hey MDBE Looks like "Hookt on Foniks Wurkt for U."
I amm of to my Glamour Technician to get all glamorfied. Have a good un' and ACT LIKE SOMEBODY!

July 12, 2002 - Msg 7908: Mornin' porchsters. Need to get to work as does Dixie Belle on her lernin'! Just jokin', DB
Love to all,
Charlotte Tucker

July 12, 2002 - Msg 7909: Good morning, everyone! MPO and Jelsik, it's good to see you. Where ya'll been? We miss you when you're gone. Speaking of missing, I sure hope someone hears from Tom. I know he goes off for a few days now and then, but it has been weeks now. I know Andy put out an APB, and several of us have written or emailed him, but so far he's still missing. Let's all pray for Tom, okay? A minute for a prayer.....

Asa, I hope your concrete turned out well. I didn't make it by the porch yesterday, so didn't know about it. Otherwise, I'd have put some flat trowels on Sugarplum's feet, and sent her skating from edge to edge. She'd have been happy to do it for you.
Speaking of the Plum, she's back to normal. After that hair-raising experience she had, she had to be on soft, wet food for a week, and her little face was a pure sight! Crispy, stained and slightly smelly little face! That's over now, she had a wonderful bath last night, and she is bee-yoo-ti-ful! Very proud of herself she is, too. Such a puppy!
Well, gotta run. My dad wants to run some errands, but he can't think what they are, so guess we'll just go for a drive and hope something comes to his mind.--Romeena

July 12, 2002 - Msg 7910: Hey Romeena-- I do believe that I would have paid to see the Plum skating around on Asa's drive way with trowels on her feet. Makes me laugh just thinking about it.
Fun Girl

July 12, 2002 - Msg 7911: Romeena, If I was a dog I would want to be sugarplumb cause you are such a sweet master.
Thanks for all the help with the concrete everyone. I can't say much for the finish but it sure did get compacted down real good like. Ya'll are a mess I tell ya. Everything from possum prints to imbedded golf balls. At least I got N.N. to come speak to us, that was worth the price of the cement.
Hope ya'll are having a great Friday cause you deserve it by golly.


July 12, 2002 - Msg 7912: Hey To The Porch!!!NumberThree

July 12, 2002 - Msg 7913: Hey everyone - just dropping by - it's been a busy, busy Day! Took the boys to McD's and to Walmart! WOW!! Both in the same day.
Off to make supper...


July 12, 2002 - Msg 7914: Hey to Number Three. Remember, there's only two kinds of cops--the quick and the dead. Well I been working out at the YMCA and I am dog tired.(No offense Sugar Plum) My dogs are killing me. OOPS. It's dog eat dog in that gym. Durn it, I just got on a roll there. Well Asa, when your corn comes in, give me a call. I'll be right over with my salt shaker.

Well, I am no longer a red-head. I went back to my natural color. Plain ordinary brown, and got a sassy new cut. I am not as stylish as Helen Crump, but I didn't go to Mt. Pilot to get it done. I just stayed right here in town. Saw that fancy woman doing manicures at Floyd's as I went by. Saw Andy and Barney at the diner. That Barney is a sight when you get him around food. He beats everythin', you know that? But you know how it is.
A slender high-spirited person needs a sugar pick-me-up late in the day.

I hope BDJ didn't run off the edge of the Robert E. Lee natural bridge. I am really getting worried about the Rock and Tom. Hope we hear from them soon.

Gotta run for now.
Goober says "Hey."
Best of luck to you and yours.
Fun Girl

July 13, 2002 - Msg 7915: Good Morning porch!!! Yall still asleep?? SLAM!! We cant have that now. OHHH A No count mule sitting on a haystack....ALll Day LONNGGGG!!! Well now that yall are up I am off to work. See ya later hope yall have a good day! Your, way too wide awake for a Saturday morning, porch buddy, Salty Dog.

P.S. Coffee is on and some juice too!!

July 13, 2002 - Msg 7916: Good morning, everyone! I was sleeping peacefully until a certain person began slamming doors and violating the airwaves. Glad she did, though, got lots to do today. Two cousins coming in to visit, one from Wyoming and one from Houston, still a few little things to do to get ready. Tonight I'm gonna feed 'em fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and biscuits and gravy. Nope, I'm not cooking. We're going out to Roanoak, a little suburb around here, to a place called Babe's, that serves family style and the chicken is so good you'd swear your mama was in the kitchen. The biscuits are huge and tender, and the gravy, well, it's REAL gravy! They keep the food coming until you're full, too. Unbelievable.
Then we're going back to my son's house which is nearby, and we'll make some ice cream. Now, is that a plan, or what? Sounds even better than going down to Wally's for a nectarine crush, though we might do that too.
Have a great day, folks. Sugarplum says hey!--Romeena

July 13, 2002 - Msg 7917: That was a good un Salty Dog. Sang us another un.
Do you know "Keep Your Money In Your Shoe and It Wont Get Wet?" That un makes me cry. Sang it loud, sang it real loud. It's such a nice way to wake up!

Hey to the Plumster. Hope I did not offend with all my dog references on my last post. That chicken sounds deeeelish. Please get a puppy bag and bring a piece for the Plum. Tell her it was my idea and maybe she will forgive me for all the teasing.
Later Porch Friends.
Fun Girl

P.S. I don't know about blondes having more fun, but I don't know that red heads do. I am having just as much fun as a brunette. Of course I am just a fun gal, so what do you expect?

July 13, 2002 - Msg 7918: Hm....thought I posted yesterday.

Hey to Number Three.

Romeena, I too am concerned over Tom. I snail mailed him and hope that if he can't contact us maybe someone in his family will. I check here every day hoping to see a post from him. I don't come here like I should, but I am praying Tom is okay.

Hey to everyone. Have a good Saturday.

Miss Ellie

July 13, 2002 - Msg 7919: Romeena - that sounds just like Sunday dinner when I was growing up. Of course our were farm raised chickens, butchered and plucked by mom. Every once in a while - my dad gets a crazy notion to raise chickens and then they end up butchering them and giving them to the kids. There ain't nothing like a good piece of white meat. . .mmm good. . .and gravy too. We used to tear up bread in a pile and put our gravy on that. Good stuff!
Well Fun Girl - the older I get the redder my hair has become and unfortunately - grayer too. I thought about coloring but my hubby says the gray is okay. Someday we will look like Mr and Mrs Claus. How's the diet going - didn't you say you went to the slim fast website? I have gotten 35 off this summer but I want to get 15 more off before school starts. I just hate the thought of packing lunch for school. I never know what I want to eat. And you know you don't always want the cafeteria food. They think they have a new principal hired - we'll see. She is walking into a GIANT MESS with staff, construction, lack of a teacher contract. . .not good at all.

Well - need to go get some laundry started so I don't have to stay up all nite working on it.


TOM - you need to visit, we need some inspirational poetry!

July 13, 2002 - Msg 7920: Hey to everybody! I loved the mental pictures of Sugar Plum with little trowels on her feet. And you're right Asa, ain't everybody here just a stitch trying to make such a mess of your concrete! Glad it turned out ok. homemaker! How can you start talking about going back to school already? Summer sure has gone too fast! Salty, loved yer sangin'! No Count Mule is one of my favorites! Fun Girl, what's that other tune that makes me cry? Somethin' about Don't go hittin' yer grandma with a great big stick??" Have a great day. I'm headed out doors to pull some weeds out of my green beans. Prayers for Tom and Rock.
Charlotte Tucker

July 13, 2002 - Msg 7921: Okay - a moment of insanity hit me - I bought my children squirt guns. . .
What was I thinking!!!


July 13, 2002 - Msg 7922: Yeah Charlotte, It was "Never Hit Your Grandma With a Grea Big Stick." That 'un always makes me cry. Yes homemaker, I am on the slimfast and the website is awesome. I have encouraging email everyday. It has charts and meal plans and all kinds of cool stuff. The sight is www.slimfast.com. That gravy sounds good for soppin'. Anybody from south of the Mason/Dixon
can tell ya what soppin' is. How bout wallerin'? Do you all know what wallerin' is? I was born in Georgia and that is where my people come from and so I know all these cool words. How do you say greasy? Do you say greasy or greezy? That is another way you can tell if you are from the south. And another way you can tell where you are from is if you fix "BUBBLE AND SQUEEK."

Back to wallerin'. My adopted sister came up around folks who always said wallerin'. When she got adopted the judge asked her a question about her birth sister and she told him, "She's all right, but she is always wallerin' me." The judge said, "What's that?" She said, "Wallerin', you know, wallerin'. Don't you know what wallerin' is?" Like, you silly fool, where have you been all you life.
Have a good weekend, what's left of it.
Fun Girl

Barney: "You know what I think Ang. I think he's not from around here."
ANDY: "You know what I think Barn? I think he's from Ecmondwyke, England. Go on, ask him?"
The look in Barney's face when Malcom says he is from Eckmondwyke England is priceless.

July 13, 2002 - Msg 7923: Hey yall, hope everyones having a good Saturday. It rained all day here. Me and hubbby went to the Craker Barrell tonight and then to the carnival where he won me a big stuffed Scooby Doo. No, he wasn't using any guns with bent sights but he did throw darts at some baloons. Aint he sweet Scooby Doo is my favorite cartoon character. Well Fun Girl around here it is greazy. Well I have had about all the fun I can handle for one day. Plus working 8 hours dont help a lot. I am going to bed. Hope all is well with you all. Asa, how is Asa Jr doing? aint heard from ya in a while you better let us know. See yall in the morning. Nite--Salty Dog

July 14, 2002 - Msg 7924: Howdy, friends. Fun Girl, don't worry, the Plum didn't feel insulted. After all, you were making "dog" references, and since she doesn't consider herself one of those creatures, well, you see how it is. She is a member of the family, who happens to be of the canine persuasion. Now, as for "wallerin'", where I come from that's how folks pronounce "wallowing", as a hog might "waller" in the mud, or a lazy person might still be "wallerin' in the bed long past sun-up". Don't think that's what your sister meant, though. Greasy/greezy is a good question. Fried foods not properly drained might be called "greasy", but my dad's hands after he worked on the car were "greezy". No idea why, that's just the way it was. (And pretty much still is.)
Miss Ellie, I know you'll let us know when you hear from Tom. Sure do hope he's okay.
Had a wonderful day with my cousins, both great guys, funny and sweet. Lots of memories. My dad enjoyed being with them. We did have Babe's great fried chicken dinner, but since the wait for a table would have been nearly two hours (!) we picked it up and took it back to my son's and ate there, then made the ice cream. Pretty good stuff, let me tell you!
Well, off to bed, and I ain't sleepin' on no ironing board, neither. I want my bed, with the Plum curled up next to me. No room for her on an ironing board. Have a lovely Sabbath, friends. --Romeena

Sorry to be so noisey but it is a great day and you should be up enjoying it.
Hey to everyone, hope your weekend is going well. Very hot on my porch, 107 yesterday. I think Hazel was 108. The wild west is burning up I tell ya.
Hey Salty, Asa jr. seems to be doing quite well thanks for asking. Is able to walk around without a cane for the first time since March when he had his first surgery. His spirits are high so thats good. All in all we have been very blessed. Broke my heart to see a 21 year old having to use a cane.
Hope ya'll have a great sabbath. Where is that Mavis at??? I notice as football season gets closer she tends to hide from me. Wonder what causes that?


July 14, 2002 - Msg 7926: Good Morning Folks,
While looking for info on "The Dillards", I stumbled onto your site. As I read the entries, I couldn't help thinking "What a great group of people!" With the internet stuffed with filth and trash, you guys have given the world an idea of what could be. Thanks for allowing me to "sit" with you for awhile. Have a long and happy life, everyone....and thanks for the smiles.

July 14, 2002 - Msg 7927: Morning porch. Hey Asa, we weren't 108 yesterday, we were 109. Now that's hot. Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. (Mark Twain) Welcome to the porch, Msg 7926! Pick a name and jump right on in. Charlotte, did you get the weeds outta your green beans yet? I could help you if you want. Hey to everybody on the porch. Let's all go down to Wallys for a bottle of pop.
- Hazel

Better phone him, Al.

July 14, 2002 - Msg 7928: Hey Porchsters: So glad to see most of the ones up and at it this morning.--Thanks to Asa. He sure knows how to get everyone going in the morning, even if they want to sleep in a little longer!!! Hope it cools down some for ya. We are finally getting much needed rain showers. The Lord is so good... Drop for lunch, pork -slow cooked on the grill, fried chicken, cole slaw, homemade rolls and peach pie for dessert. Oh yea, green beans just picked from the garden. ~New Neighbor

July 14, 2002 - Msg 7929: Howdy, all! New Neighbor, if I give Sugarplum a little sack to bring to you, will you help her pick some of those green beans and send her back with them? I've got a little smoked bacon and an onion, just cryin' out for some fresh snap beans!
#7926, if you're still around, please know that you're welcome here. We're from all over the country (maybe the whole world) and from all walks of life, and we live here in our own CyberMayberry, and we love it! Any friend of Andy Taylor's is a friend of ours.
My cousins left for Houston this morning, so things are quiet around here. My lunch is gonna be a baked potato. After all I ate last night, that's not a bad thing. Some fresh snap beans would go good with that potato,though. (hint, hint)
Have a restful afternoon, friends. Slow down, what's your hurry? --Romeena

July 14, 2002 - Msg 7930: MMM . . .fresh greenbeans do sound good. And some ham and on-yun!
Things are pretty quiet on this porch today - I think we are headed to the neighboring county's fair today (my home county) and going to look at the sites. Then visit my dad and mom too.
We were happy to sell three goats yesterday via the internet. We have one more prospect from the internet interested in one of our goats too. It's is kinda of exciting. . .just think of all the places we are from and we wouldn't have met without Floyd and the porch.
Oh well - time to get busy! Take care and Romeena, let me know when you get the beans done!


July 14, 2002 - Msg 7931: #7926 here again. After Church I just had to come back. I suppose there's just something about this place! Thank you for the warm invatation to come back. As for a name, is there a list of taken names?

July 14, 2002 - Msg 7932: Yep Romeena, the hog wallowing in the mud one was the winner. Only where we are from in Georgia it was pronounced wallerin'. To waller someone you kinda have to hang on then and well.....just waller them like a hog would in mud. I guess you could call it hyperactive snuggling. The things that come out of that child's mouth. Well she called her up a feller last night and got herself a date for Monday night. It was one of my friend's son. We were baking chicken and the smoke alarm went off right in the middle of the conversation. We have smoke alarms in almost every room so she was hard pressed to find a place to go to carry on the conversation. She finally went into the bathroom. Wendy said that when Michael got off the phone, he said,"That's weird, she just asked me out." They met at his graduation party at the end of May. How does Monica Holloway sound. His little sister is Little Opie's girlfriend. (Well that's what they call it. They only see each other once in a while and all they do is talk about WRASSLIN.)
Well I need to make a Walmart run. One of my dear friends is having a birthday on Tuesday, and I need to find just the right gift. She is like a grandmother to me. (since my own has been gone for 12 years)

Have a Mayberry kind of day.
Fun Gril
OOPS there I go again.

July 14, 2002 - Msg 7933: Hey #7926. There is no list so if you pick one and holler it at us we can tell you if it's being used or not.
Hope everyone is having a relaxing Sabbath.


July 14, 2002 - Msg 7934: Glad you came back, # 7926. There's no list of the names already taken. We do have the cutlass, which is a site where some of us have submitted our e-mails and birthdays and such as that. But it doesn't have a list of all the taken names. Some people post every day, and some just pop in once a month or so. Tell us what name you'd like to have, and we'll tell you if it's taken.
- Hazel

Barney: "Well, friends, as Mr. Lawson told you, I'm Deputy Sheriff Barney Fife; although I have a nickname I've been stuck with and can't seem to lose: 'Fast Gun Fife.'"

July 14, 2002 - Msg 7935: Asa, we was posting at the same time. I guess you said it first. Dirty rat.
- Hazel

July 14, 2002 - Msg 7936: Hello Again 7926 - we welcome you with pride to the front porch. It's a fun place to be - we have invented things here, had baseball games here, we have picnics every once in a while up at the lake, and we have lots of patriotism and pride in our boys here and overseas. . .
beware of Asa and the Rock - they have terrible golf swings - at least that is what THEY say they are playing, we just think they are fancy weedwhackers!


July 14, 2002 - Msg 7937: Welcome 7926...You will notice the band stand and later we will hear from the band. Miss Mayberry will sing the town song and the Mayor (is it Stoner or Pike?) will present you with the key to the city. And of course you will receive a jar of pickles from Clara Johnson and Bee Taylor, which should last you a good long time. You will want to watch out as the potato sack race starts as Barney will be sounding the starting gun and believe me there is a reason why he has to keep his one bullet in his pocket.
Fun Girl

"Oh my darin'Barney Fife
Had one bullet for his pistol,
Had to keep it in his pocket."

July 14, 2002 - Msg 7938: Something I considered about Tom, since none of his emails have been sent back, maybe his webtv is not working but the server is storing his emails ? I hope he writes me snail mail soon.
Hope all are well. Just dropping in between customers here at the drugstore. Barney just came in for some foot powder.
Miss Ellie

July 14, 2002 - Msg 7939: Miss Ellie, Is it true that you are a "desparate female hunter" like Opie said?
Fun Girl

July 14, 2002 - Msg 7940: Right now, she's on the trail of a baboon.
- Hazel

July 15, 2002 - Msg 7941: Only 74 more days till Mayberry Days!

July 15, 2002 - Msg 7942: i need but start the day with Him
in fellowship and prayer,
then as i travel down life's road,
i'll always find Him there.

July 15, 2002 - Msg 7943: Evening porch and Welcome to ya 7926 you will love it here. We have a blast. One other thing we take pride in is our younguns and furkids. Hope yall had a good Sabbath. To msg 7942 if that is you Tom please start posting again. We miss you so much and your poems always brighten up the days. Asa, it was down in the 60's here on Friday and Saturday. Yall take care got myself 2 days off. So I am sleeping in tomorrow. Yall make sure Hazel and Asa keep it down in the morning. Nite--Salty Dog

July 15, 2002 - Msg 7944: Morning Porch. It's Monday. Enough said.
That 60 degree stuff must have felt good Salty. It was 105 here yesterday. Setting records all over the place. Aunt Bee even took off her fur coat.
Hey Tom, if that was you please identify. You got us all worked up here on the porch with your absence.
Where in tarnation is Mavis and Mrs. Wiley and Charlotte Tucker and Dixie Belle Edwards run off to? I declare, I'm gonna have to put a leash on you all.:)
Well have a great Monday. I luvs ya all.


July 15, 2002 - Msg 7945: Mornin', friends. I don't think that was Tom. Close, but just a bit different. Whoever it was, thanks for the lovely thought. Let's all keep a little prayer going in our hearts for our sweet Tom, though. Miss Ellie, you may have the answer there. If so, we should know soon, with the snail mail going his way. Surely he'd respond to that.
Well, gotta go run some errands, then a nap, then to work tonight. Have a great day, friends. --Romeena

July 15, 2002 - Msg 7946: I'm right here Asa, right HERE!! I'm just slow gettin' up this mornin':) Looks like the weekend was pretty kind to us all.

For the new person 7926 was it? Well if you'll take some suggestions on a name I'll gladly comply and I'm sure some of the rest of us would be just as happy to help.

How about: Daphne or BErny (ya know like the Fun girls pronounced it).

Everyone behave today. Don't make me get on to you;-)

Miss Dixie Belle Edwards

PS-- FG&CT Ahh cin spel jist ahs gud ahs muh cahleg profesers cin so Huked on foniks must hav werked fer thim 2!!

July 15, 2002 - Msg 7947: Stayed up and watched "Door to Door" last night - what an awesome movie! Made my heart proud! I had a little hearing impaired girl with cp and she will graduate next year from a private prep school, she works at McDonalds, and this teacher made sure that the parents got on the right track from the time she was 5 to not pity her...and she has done well - just like Bill Porter. I am very proud of all the hard work that she has done.
Well Tom - where ever you are - you need to be visiting the porch soon or maybe a family member needs to clue us in on what's happened to him.

Good to see everyone active on the porch. Mavis - have you seen the "Simply Salsa" mix at Wally World. I bought a couple of packets to make some quick salsa to take back to school. They hired us a new principal. Should be an interesting year. And I don't say that lightly. We still haven't settled a contract and it looks like more than a mediator to settle this thing. It is not going to be a pretty start to the year.
Oh well -

Got to get some stuff done!


(((((hugs))))) for my second family

July 15, 2002 - Msg 7948: 12 things never to say to a cop:

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.(OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

~ Mrs. Wiley

July 15, 2002 - Msg 7949: Hey Y'all! Like those jokes Mrs. Wiley! Well,DING DANG it's hot down here in S.C.!!! Makes a possum wanna stay up under a rock till Christmas time! I know lots of us porchsters are from the South and can attest to the fact that it's HOT!!! Care to join me in a sing-along? (Warm up first with some ME THEYS...) Ok,here we go: " HEAT WAVE... We're having a heat wave...a tropical heat wave..."

possum under a rock

P.S. That "Door to Door" movie was good, wasn't it,homemaker?

July 15, 2002 - Msg 7950: Well rain was predicted for Wednesday but now it has been put off until Thursday and Friday. It is almost too hot to breathe with all the "humility" in the air. I must get to doing some outside chores tomorrow - I still have a goat pen to get all mucked out. Winter "kidding" will be here and there will be no "maternity ward" available for the mommas.
I liked all of your one liners Mrs. Wiley. Pretty clever!!!
Romeena - you are sweet, kind soul - just wanted to tell you that.
Now I think we need to have a roll call of some sort - we are missing a few "rejulers" besides Tom!


July 15, 2002 - Msg 7951: Mr 7926 here, Miss Dixie Bell Edwards was kind enough to offer the name Berney (like the fun girls pronounce it.) If thats ok with everyone, I'll take it!
What a day! I had to leave work because of a terrible cold. I got a chocolate lab about 10 months ago, and have been working with him regularly. I could tell he was getting tired of the farm, so I drove him down to the cabin on Saturday. The day started clear and hot, and I worked him down the river bank for a couple of miles or so. Just as I decided to head back, the sky grew dark and the heavens opened up! We both got soaked. The way the dog kept looking at me, I couldn't help but laugh. I promise, he'd stop every once in awhile, look back at me, and just shake his head.
Well everyone, I suppose I'd better hit the sheets. Good night to you all.

July 15, 2002 - Msg 7952: is that you Tom that posted to beautiful poem in 7942, if so, please tell us so. We are concerned by your abscense here.
Hi everybody. Please say a prayer for all my family, much sickness and many unsaved souls. I wish they would attend All Souls Church.
Anyone want an ice cream cone ? 0>
Miss Ellie

July 16, 2002 - Msg 7953: Nite porch off to bed now. Yall take care now. Welcome to ya Berney. You're a scream!! At least you aint like Al. See yall in the morning--Salty Dog

July 16, 2002 - Msg 7954: Didn't see ya Miss Ellie, Prayers for ya-- Salty Dog

July 16, 2002 - Msg 7955: Good morning Porch, breakfast is ready: Eggs, MEAT, Biscuts/cornbread, gravy and fresh squozed OJ. Welcome Berney, glad to have you! Now FunGirl will have someone to play jail with. Prayers for your family Miss Ellie. and for our missing TOM.

I saw on the news this am that LA Airport was evacuated yesterday because a machine detected explosives. Turns out it was just a jar of jam. Do you suspect what I do? Aunt Bea must have been traveking and you know how her jams and pickles turn out!

~ Mrs. Wiley
Barney: "Get the suitcase?"
Andy: "Get the suitcase."

July 16, 2002 - Msg 7956: that's "traveling". Lawd, our Aunt Bea wouldn't be traffiking!!

July 16, 2002 - Msg 7957: Hey to Mizz Wiley and the Porch.


"No doubt about it...that's a pickle."

July 16, 2002 - Msg 7958: Welcome Berney! Sorry about your cold. Maybe we could all get together and bring you some chicken noodle soup. We only wish it would rain here - the ground has major cracks from lack of rain.
Thank you for breakfast Miss Wiley - I am so hungry I could eat a bear. . .
Now Miss Dixie Bell - how is guy watch 02 coming - we haven't heard any updates! Do tell - do tell. . .

Everyone have a great day - and check in once in awhile New Neighbor and Mavis and Charlotte Tucker and Helen . . .too many on vacation I suppose. . .
Asa - try and act like somebody today :)