July 16, 2002 - Msg 7959: Morning Porch. Mrs.Wiley, yer a scream. Howdy Jelsik. I imagine her pickles would set off many things.
Welcome to Bernie. Some nice folks gather here on the porch. Hope you enjoy your stay.
MAVIS, where are you??? The porch is about due for a sweeping. You cleaned up the last two times. We miss your wit girl.
Hope Hazel didn't dehydrate her self away. Been hot up in Idyho I hear.
Well, off to work for me. Peace friends.


July 16, 2002 - Msg 7960: Well I'll be doggewd. Looky what I went and did. Mrs. Asa will be so proud.


July 16, 2002 - Msg 7961: Morning Porch, that breakfast was yummy! Asa, I declare I dont know how you keep up. Between the bank, Weavers and the hotel and now you are cleaning up after us. Mrs. Wiley you are a riot. Reminded me of a story that actually happened here. Right after 9-11 our local college security had found this big "bomb" wrapped in foil on the steps of one if its buildings. So they call in all the authorities and make a huge scene about it. Turns out it was a watermelon wrapped in foil they had been using to play football with.I got a kick out of it myself. No pun intended. Well yall I am going to watch a little Lifetime TV and then I might just take a little nap. See yall later!-Salty Dog

July 16, 2002 - Msg 7962: Hey Goober , Does anyone around here know how to fly a plane ?

July 16, 2002 - Msg 7963: Evenin' Porch: Where are all the fine folks from the porch? I have been sitting here rocking, and I guess the heat has 'em all in. Salty is taking a nap, and Asa is guarding the bank, he could need a nap after all that cleaning up...we are a messy bunch around here. Pull up a rocker, the sun is settin' in the west and it is cooling down real nice like. Fresh lemonade, and a slice of peach pie is just the thing. (with real whipped cream of course) ~New Neighbor

July 16, 2002 - Msg 7964: howddee, does anyone know where i can find a tape of return to mayberry? i used to have 1 but no longer, howard of howards rainbow chapter( mother is well, and sends you all well wishes)

July 16, 2002 - Msg 7965: If it's OK with everybody , Sure would like to rest a spell here on this rocker !

July 16, 2002 - Msg 7966: I would have been here sooner , but I done run over something in the road that caused my tire to blow out ! Goober had done closed up the station and my spare was missing .

July 16, 2002 - Msg 7967: Hey ! Seeing as how all you Old Folks is a sleep in your rockers on this fine summer nite , I might as well go fix my tire . See yall tomorrow afternoon come sundown .

July 16, 2002 - Msg 7968: I declare, its quiet here today.
New Neighbor, how good to see you. Thanks for the goodies.
I feel like its Sunday here and they closed up the town.:(


July 17, 2002 - Msg 7969: Hey porchsters! I just came back from visiting some dear friends. They will be married 50 years in October and they are just the cutest couple. Kinda reminds ya of the reunion episode when Barney said, "Yep, one of the truly great
romances of all time." I work with the wife. They are just the nicest people. I have kinda adopted her as my grandma.

Well I need to go for now. I was hoping we would hear from BDJ. I was wonderin' if he and the boys knew, "Why Don't You Haul Off and Love Me One More Time." Got time for love, got time for music.
Fun Girl

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7970: Morning porch, has everybody done left? Hope things are all right with everyone. Mavis, where are ya girl aint heard from you in a coons age. She must have done joined the WWE with the Rock and skipped town on us. Off to work again, yall have a good day act like ya got some smarts and I'll see ya later--Salty Dog

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7971: Morning Porch! 7966: Ain't ya got a jack?

Prayers for all - try to have a good day and act like you got some smarts.
~ Mrs. Wiley

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7972: Morning, porch. Do I have to act like I got some smarts?
- Hazel

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7973: Morning Hazel. Good to see you. Where ya been? Has it cooled down in Idyho yet?
When it comes to smarts acting, well some people want it, I had it and had to give it up.


July 17, 2002 - Msg 7974: A busy day for this group today - I have a funeral to attend this morning (a blessing more than a funeral, she is in a much better place now with no pain), then a small pool party of our school's ya ya sisterhood and then off to the county fair parade where both of my youngins is hitchin a ride on the local clubs 4-H float. . .seein' how my brother is driving the tilt-bed truck they are using and I have several nieces and nephews on board - what's another kid or two! The boys are sure excited!
To 7966 - Goober and Wally may have closed but I heard Gomer is staying at Andy's - but make sure you don't wake up Opie and Aunt Bee.

Have a swell day (not sweltering:)


July 17, 2002 - Msg 7975: Breakfast is on . . .Fruit Loops for everyone - LOL!


July 17, 2002 - Msg 7977: Hello everyone, I'm back at work today. I found out most of the crew was out due to a cold. Thay said a salesman gave it to us all. "Me and the boys thought about killin' him, but we hated to take it that fer."


July 17, 2002 - Msg 7978: According to the USA today website:

Andy Griffith will have road named in his honor.

Actor Andy Griffith will have a portion of U.S. 52 named in his honor. Griffith, 76, starred in the popular '60s TV sitcom The Andy Griffith Show. The series was set in the fictional town of Mayberry, widely believed to be based on Mount Airy. The state Transportation Board approved the highway naming last week. ''We now have a 'go' from the governor and the secretary of transportation,'' Transportation Board member Sam Erby said Monday. ''And, barring some kind of illness, Andy Griffith and his wife, Cindy, are planning to attend the ceremony.'' The ceremony is tentatively scheduled for Oct. 16.

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7979: Well, I'll be switched. Ain't that nice? We should send our little fat Mayor out there to that ceremony. Maybe his daughter will sing "Flow Gently Sweet Afton".~ Mrs. Wiley
enjoying those fruit loops!

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7980:

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7981: That was weird. I never set the bold caps to begin with. How did that happen?

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7982: Everyone should be bold now and then. Now try to get colorful. I done plumb fergot. I ain't heard yet from Tom, but only mailed letter last week.

Miss Ellie
Bold, Beautiful, and on the trail of a Babboon !

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7983: Pssssttt... It's me possum. Gotta make it quick and scamper back up under my rock. Take a gander at Miss Crump's Blackboard- all that talk of "possums in a pot" is scaring the daylights outta this here little possum!
Ya'll all have a great day! I'll come out again when the coast is clear!!!

possum under a rock

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7984: Well it's about time they named a road after Andy. . .
glad you all enjoyed the fruit loops - we had ours in a cup, talk about breakfast on the road!

Catch ya later. . .


July 17, 2002 - Msg 7985: Hey porch. You a little worried possum. I would be too. I hear possum is good, with ramps.:)
Sure is nice to be seeing more of you Miss Ellie. Hope you hear from Tom soon.
Hey to Bernie, glad your sticking with us.
How is work going Mrs. Wiley? Any improvments? Sure do hope so.
Well, back to wo...wo...wo...work for me.
Hey Homemaker, your funny for a goat farmer.:)


July 17, 2002 - Msg 7986: Hey Porch Pals. Asa, thanks for all your hoping, but it just gets worse as the days go by. Although, being at the reception desk which is in front of the conference room, I get to hear alot of conversations that aren't exactly encouraging. But it IS funny to hear grown men get caught in lies and watch them try to wiggle out of it. Sad part is I have to hear people get yelled at and treated like dirt. Makes me want to ask them if their mamma's ever taught them the golden rule.

~ Mrs. Wiley

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7987: Hey Berney, let's go to Mt. Pilot and go dancing DOLL! Have a great day to all in Mayberry. Just went shopping and got all kinds of little goodies. Went with some of the girls from work. It was HOT HOT HOT, but a lemon shake up always cools ya off on a hot day. Twangs those buds.

Got my Trace Adkins fan club membership today. That includes 2 backstage passes for the concert on August 16. Weeeeehaw! Now if you want to talk about a purty man, check out his website. The membership came with a C.D. rom and I haven't checked it out yet, so I guess I will go and do that now.
Later ya'll.
Fun Girl

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7988: Howdy, all. Just a quick "set" here on the porch. Gotta go back to work. I'll tell you, three 12-hr shifts back to back are enough to do this old gal in! homemaker, thanks for the kind words. Makes me feel all choked up (snif!). Berney, welcome! We're glad you moved to Mayberry. It's a nice place. "Well, we like it." (Andy)
Still no word from Tom. Hmmmmm. Wonder where that boy is? Sure hope he's okay.
Good to see and hear from everyone. Gotta run now, time to head for work again. Sugarplum says hey!--Romeena

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7989: Bernie, it's a wise man who knows it's illegal to take the law into your own hands... I'm glad you didn't hurt that salesman. Say, are you gonna spell your name Bernie or Berney? (Aint Bernie spelled i-e?) Poor Possum, hiding out from Ms. Crumps. It can get ugly over there. Thanks for the fruit loops, Homemaker.

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7990: We was postin at the same time, Romeena. Hey to Sugarplum.

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7991: someday yourlittle friend will come back .
maybe he git made at someone.

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7992: To Msg 7991: I'm not sure who our little friend is but whoever it is, he shouldn't be mad at anyone on this porch. The folks on this porch don't get mad at one another. : )

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7993: Evenin'! I just skimmed the archives and saw concerns as to my whereabouts from Asa and homemaker. Thank ya'll. I jes been buzy. That's all. The kids are even at camp this week and I am still so busy! Tryin' to get ready to leave Sat. for the Northwest ya know. If I don't get to stop in again, we won't be back until July 31. I will miss you all. Watch out for one another. Wish you'd find a different job, Mrs. Wiley. Sounds like an awful place. Thanks for that yummy breakfast of Froot Loops whoever supplied it. Now that's more the way I cook! Welcome to Berney. I sent you some snail mail, Romeena. E-mail me when you get it. Glad Andy got his road. Where is U.S. 52 anyway? In NC I assume. Night.
Charlotte Tucker

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7994: Howdy !
I just in from a trip over to the big city . Had to go and buy one of them there air condition window units for my boy and his family .
we pluged it up right away and it shore done a fine job . Wish I could stay awhile but I needs to git on towards the lake cause I got to git up and go to work about sunup !

July 17, 2002 - Msg 7995: I think you're right, Miss Hazel...thanks for the help. Bernie it is! Good night all!

July 18, 2002 - Msg 7996: i would like to see a new andy griffith show with all of them and how they look now.

July 18, 2002 - Msg 7997: Howdy ! Just came by to say Howdy , Can't stay and gossip , got to git to work . Does anyone know where I can git a "Hot Cup of Coffee" near by close ?

July 18, 2002 - Msg 7998: They make a mean cup over at the diner, # 7997. Morning, porch.
- Hazel

July 18, 2002 - Msg 7999: Morning Porch. Hi Hazel, whats up?
Good to see you Chalotte Tucker. Have fun on your trip to the west. Are you driving? If you are and come through Utah stop in and say hey. And Hazel lives in Idyho. I'm sure she would enjoy a visit.
Sorry things are no better for you at work Mrs. Wiley. You are in my prayers.
I know you are all worried about Tom, as am I, but I am getting real concerned about Mavis. I hope she is ok. Mavis, check in and let us know all is weel with you.
Guess I better get to work, daggum it.


July 18, 2002 - Msg 8000: Well sheesh

July 18, 2002 - Msg 8001: Thanks for telling about the Diner . I just got into Mayberry last week-end and I'll be dadgum if I don't think I'll try to find a place where I can make a living and live here . It's about the best town I ever landed in .

July 18, 2002 - Msg 8002: Howdy, friends. 8001, I hear they're looking for a brine tester over at the pickle factory again. They'd probably want you to give them your name, though, before they'd hire you. --Romeena

July 18, 2002 - Msg 8003: Hey Romeea
!Thanks about the brine job stuff , however ; I'm just going to keep on a thinking about a job where I can be self hired .
I goes by the name of Stubby Fly .

July 18, 2002 - Msg 8004: Welcome Mr. Stubby, I reckon Mayberry could always use another butter n egg man, or a handyman, or even someone who sharpens knives and fixes umbrella handles.

~ Mrs. Wiley
"...now, dance with Ramona."

July 18, 2002 - Msg 8005: Hey ya'll! Hope everyone is well on the porch. Welcome Stubby Fly and Bernie. Good to have ya'll a rockin'with us here on the porch.
We are goin' to Mayberry Days in Sept. Is anybody else going'? Cant' wait! Never been before. The only thing is we may have to stay out of town, since we are just decidin' to go.
RIP Shannon Runnion. God bless you little one.

July 18, 2002 - Msg 8006: I'd sure like to go Helen, but can't commit to a hotel room just yet. Iffin I can, I'll be there. Sure would be nice if I can talk my little Wiley girls into going too!

~ Mrs. Wiley

July 18, 2002 - Msg 8007: Hey Ya'll! Thanks Fun Girl-I feel much safer now! Well,I'm not hiding from those "possum cookers" any more,but I'm staying under my rock 'cause I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Think I'm getting bronchitis. Anybody have any good home remedies? Ear hurts, chest hurts,wheezing,etc. Just feel bad all over. No fever so don't wanna go to the doctor if I don't have to.
Helen,I've been so saddened by that little Samantha's death. She looked like such a sweet child. Just Precious.Justice WILL prevail.
Well,gotta go. Ya'll take it easy in all this Southern Heat (heat index up to 112 down here in SC today!)
Oh yeah,Fun Girl- that Trace A. IS one big purty man! Behave yourself backstage,ya hear? ;)
Welcome to the porch Stubby-you'll like it here!

possum under a rock

July 18, 2002 - Msg 8008: Here ya go possum, I thunk up an incant to help you over your sickness.

Fee fi fo fum...
Germs get away from my poor old lungs.

I shore will try to behave while I am back stage with Trace. To tell you the truth that boy shore twangs my buds. I am talking some MAJOR BUD TWANGING!

Did anyone else think that 7991 sounded like Tom?
Hey Tom, don't be mad at us. We shore didn't mean to hurt your feelings. What do ya say we forgive and forget? We shore miss ya.
Fun Girl

July 18, 2002 - Msg 8009: TOM, if that was you we didn't mean to be hurtful in any way... and if that was any Kin to TOM, we really enjoy him being here. Let us know what the situation is.

Looks like we got us a situation. A real situation!
~ Mrs. Wiley

July 18, 2002 - Msg 8010: A situation? Here in Mayberry? What are we gona do? I thought 7991 sounded like Tom too. So something is up. Something is definitely up. Welcome to Stubby Fly and Bernie. Stubby, you could maybe be a salesman. But you can't be pushy. If there's one thing we can't stand, it's a pushy salesman.
- Hazel

July 18, 2002 - Msg 8011: Hey yall how is everyone? Boy is it hot today. Welcome to ya Stubby. FG when you get backstage you just club Trace and sack him up and bring him to me. I'll even meet ya halfway! TOM if that is you please dont be mad I cant think of anyone that would hurt your feelings on purpose. We need your poems around here. I sent a snail mail to Mavis too. Emailed her a few days ago and aint heard nothing back. I hope her and Ma Bell aint having another disagreement. Yall have a good night. See ya later--Salty Dog

July 18, 2002 - Msg 8012: Went and worked out at the Y tonight, but I didn't see Barney (in the corner room, or anywhere else for that matter) I worked poor self into a sweat, and believe me that is not a purty sight. But I am feeling a sight better than I was. It is a nice night here in Southern Indiana. It is just the perfect temp. outside. Little Opie is in watching wrasslin' so I think I will run in and look at the purty men. Check on ya later.
Fun Girl

July 18, 2002 - Msg 8013: Hey To The Porch!! Was just wonderin if any one here on the porch was going to Mayberry in the Midwest this weekend. I'm all set!!Hope to see you there!NumberThree

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8014: Hey yall off to bed now got to work tomorrow and then got 10 days ahead of me after that! So I may be grouchier than a bear backed into a bee hive next week. Yall just have to 'bear' with me. I seen the Rock tonight on TV no wonder he aint been here in a while. Been too busy. Well yall have a good night and I'll see ya in the morning. Nite--Salty Dog

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8015: hi there . to hot for me so i stay up half the night.

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8016: Mornin' porchsters! Gonna be another hot one! Just heard the weatherman say heat index could get up to 115 today! Holy Moly!!! And ya'll wonder why I stay under my rock-nice & cool under here!
Fun Girl,you sure are one heck of an "incantress"- possum feels much better since I followed your advice! Thanks a bunch!
Ya'll have a good day now,and remember to ACT LIKE SOMEBODY!!!

possum under a rock

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8017: Howdy , Howdy ! How is y'all doing . Just got a "mean cup of Coffee" from the diner and nows I think I knows what hit is that I'm going to work on . Does any of y'all knows where I can find some valley land like a "soy bean field" near a good road for sale ?
Stubby Fly

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8018: Morning porch. Stubby, I think Floyds got some land out in the country. Fill in that swamp, it'd be a paradise.
- Hazel

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8019: Morning porch. Hey Salty, don't work to hard now and make yerself all mean. Pace yerself.
Welcome to Stubby Fly. How did you come up with that name? Just curious.
Hey Romeena, them 12 hour shifts would do me in. I don't know how you do it.
Prayers for the family in California who lost the little girl. May the Lord bless them and his will be done to the pepetrater. (sp) Sad sad world we live in any more. Glad we got each other.
Ya'll have a blessed Friday and count your blessings.


July 19, 2002 - Msg 8020: sheesh BLEW THE SCRAM-E-VOO.

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8021: Morning porch how is everyone? Off to work now so I guess that'll be my middle name for awhile. Yall have a good day and I will see yall later--Salty Dog

Did you know that a horses eyes are the same size at birth as they are when he is full grown? Thats about the most amazing thing I've ever read.

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8022: Went down to Floyd's to see about any land that might be up for sale , He just said "Well I don't Really Know " Maybe You Should Ask Andy "

He did note that I needed trim !
-Stubby Fly-

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8023: Stubby - you need to watch out for Floyd - he can't seem to get sideburns even, just ask ASA! Glad to see you visitin on the porch. . .
It's going to be a hot one here today - at least we have been blessed with a few afternoon showers the past couple of days. It almost rained out the 4-H parade - the town's main event. Over 70 floats - that's big for the Tree City.
Well - Tom, if that is you leaving all them unsigned messages and you are reading all the ones left for you, then you know noone hurt your feelings on purpose. So come on back to the porch and rock with us. Why - we'll get you a nice big slice of watermelon or a cool glass of lemonade and maybe, if Asa doesn't burn them, a hotdog off the grill.

Take yur shoes off, set a spell, ya'll come back now - you here!


July 19, 2002 - Msg 8024: Just a note about the pledge - the little girl the daddy was trying to protect from saying the pledge lives with her mother, who has custody, and they are practicing Christians. Don't that beat all!

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8025: Sounds like a "daddy" who has decided to hurt the little girl's mother in the worst way he can think of. Poor sad, sad soul. What's that the Bible says? "Better that a millstone be hanged around his neck and he be cast into the depths of the sea, than to cause one of these little ones to stumble." That's probably not exact, but it's close. --Romeena

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8026: Hey y'all,
This is Sherrif Frank, the one who built the ole porch. I just discovered this "tribute," and I'm mighty touched. I'm sorry I abandoned the porch way back when, but my life got all complected real fast, and then I accidentally let the domain expire and lost access to the server the old site was on. I'm glad to see most of the old regulars are still hangin' out on the porch, though. I hope you're all doin' well!

-- Sherrif Frank

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8027: SHERRIF FRANK!! You came back! You really came Back! It's really good to see you:) I hope everything is alright with you!

I win the Prize I named Berney!! You can spell it BernIE if you want but I just thought that the "ey" would make it different.

Well homemaker just for you......

Guywatch '02 Update: Nothing too terribly interesting. I thought that I didn't like Mason any more...... weeeeeeelllllllllll I was wrong. you know how it is when you're my age. Then there was Jeremy but one of my other friends likes him so I'm not exactly going to throw myself into the middle of that. Pretty much I'm just waiting patiently for some direction. It'll come sooner or later! I've got plenty of time. 19 isn't exactly ancient you know!

Well hey to everyone and prayers to those who need them. Behave and don't make me come after you! Nope...... the Sherrif will come after you! go get 'em Frank!

Miss Dixie Belle Edwards

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8028:

Hot as a firecracker,
Sweat drips from my feet.
Boy I sure wish,
I could beat this heat.

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8029: Frank - thanks for starting the original porch. . .we all just love to come and sip lemonade and watch the fireflies.
Miss DixieBell thanks for the update - I wouldn't say 19 was ancient - why I didn't get married until I was older than 19 (we won't go into what a latebloomer I was!) - Mr. Right will happen when you least expect it!
Romeena - you go get 'em girl!

Ya'll come by tonight - having BBQ porkchops and BBQ chicken right off the grill. . .mmm. . .delish and of course there will be plenty of other fixin's too! They don't call me homemaker for nothin'


July 19, 2002 - Msg 8030: Howdy Ya'll .
I think I'm just gonna sit right here and rest in this rocker until them porkchops is ready .
Still looking for a "soy bean " type field I need to get .
Sure would like a tall glass of unsweetened ice cold tea !

-Stubby Fly-

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8031: Well - Stubby - the ice tea is in the icebox on the backporch..jest hep yurself!

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8032: Sherrif Frank! You're a sight for sore eyes. We all owe you a big ol' thank-you for building the first porch. Thank you!
Stubby Fly, I've always got unsweetened iced tea in my fridge, in one of those jugs. You just hold a glass of ice under it and push the button, and you've got tea! No sugar, no fake sugar, just cold clear refreshing tea!
Boy, homemaker, those pork chops sound good. Wish I hadn't already started supper. Not gonna eat too shabby around here, though. I'm having yellow squash with cheese melted over, and oven-baked new potatoes with olive oil and rosemary baked in, and I went crazy and bought one of those prime rib roasts from Sam's. Enough for 8 people, and there's only me and my granddaughter! We'll make two meals out of it, and have some left for really fancy sandwiches, I guess. Unless some of you would like to stop in for supper? There's a-plenty!
Have a great evening, friends. Sugarplum says hey! --Romeena

July 19, 2002 - Msg 8033: Just dropped in to say Bye bye. Off to the northwest! It's 11:00 and I should be in bed. Hubby wants to pull outa here at 4 a.m.! Hope to make Mt. Rushmore late tomorrow. Ya'll behave and keep this porch slicked up while I'm gone. Good night, porch friends!
Charlotte Tucker
Thanks for your well wishin', Asa. Anybody got a mashed penny for me?

July 20, 2002 - Msg 8034: Hey Charlotte, I got a penny that was run over by a train. One of the kids at school gave it to me, and he had never even heard of TAGS. (Can you imagine that?) You should have seen his face when I told him that it would bring him luck in his travels.

Hey to the PLUM!

Later Ya'll
Fun Girl

"Arnold says if you put a hair from a horses tail in stagnation water it'll turn into a snake."

July 20, 2002 - Msg 8035: Morning yall off to work. Charlotte, you be careful and have a good time. Mt Rushmore is beautiful been there several years ago. And a big thanky to Frank for getting all this started. Still no word on Tom, Mavis or Rock? Now it seems Asa and NN have gone too. What are we gonna do with them? Yall have a good day and I will see ya after work. Heres a pot of coffee c(__) Salty Dog

July 20, 2002 - Msg 8036: Sherrif Frank, so good to see you !
RickyB first took over your porch, but couldn't handle it anymore either and then Allan set this one up. There are some fine people here. Don't see much of Emma, Nice Real Nice Mary Grace, Elinora, Martha and Emmett, and occasionally Jennie stops by. I come by occasionally too.
Hey to everyone here. Have a great day.
Miss Ellie
"right now I'm on the trail of a babboon."

July 20, 2002 - Msg 8037: Thanks for the coffee Salty. I like that mug. I tried to run after Charlotte to give her a brown paper sack full of sandwiches, but she'd already gone. Now they'll have to stop and get something along the way... Frank? From the original porch? This is an honor to meet you, Frank. Folks around here think alot of our porch. I sure hope you stick around. Can I come over today for a leftover fancy sandwich, Romeena? I could bring you some more squash. Everybody have a great day. Keep a good thought.
- Hazel

July 20, 2002 - Msg 8038: let's have another round of Hallelujah Thank You Jesus! I love morning sing-alongs...then I gotta fill up my tank at Goober's service station then head out to Whethersfield.

July 20, 2002 - Msg 8039: Howdy, friends! Hazel, you come on by. Granddaughter and I didn't make a dent in that roast, got plenty left for sandwiches, and for supper tonight, too. I'll take you up on that squash. Never turn down free squash, that's a rule of mine. I made that rule to apply to everyone else in the days when I grew squash and had more than I could deal with. Thank you kindly, we'll enjoy it!
The Plum is guarding the front door, waiting for the mail to drop through the slot so she can "kill" it. Wish I had a videocam. She's a sight!
Well, gotta run. Got a big old bush I want removed, and not a handyman in sight. I think I can do it myself, though. It's wild, probably doesn't have much of a root system. I thought it was pretty when it was little, so let it grow, but it's pretty ugly now. Out with it! --Romeena

July 20, 2002 - Msg 8040: Howdy Romeena , b'fore you run off ; I 'll be glad to haul off that old bush of yours . Might been needing a tall glass of some of your unsweetened tea afterwards !
-Stubby Fly-

July 20, 2002 - Msg 8041: Stubby Fly, that's a mighty kind offer. I went right out there to get that bush, and it was so hot I just turned around and came back inside. Too hot to work right now. If you'd like to drop by this evening when it's a bit cooler, I'd be very obliged to you if you'd get rid of that bush. I'll make up a jug of fresh tea, too, and there's lots of ice on hand. Thanks a lot - and I'll introduce you to Sugarplum. All you have to do is open the fridge for her, and let her get a carrot out of her drawer, and she'll be your friend for life. --Romeena

July 20, 2002 - Msg 8042: Went by Romeena's to haul off that big old bush !
I knocked on her front door ,but I think she was a taking a nap .
I backed my truck up to the bush and tied a rope to hit and my boat hitch and hauled hit right out
of the ground .
I stuck in a "Sheperds Hook" plant holder in hit's place and hung her a hanking basket of summer flowers .
Boy is she ever gonna have a surprise when she opens her eyes ! Now don't ya'll go and tell her who done hit OK !
-Stubby Fly-

July 20, 2002 - Msg 8043: Well, my goodness! I took a little nap this afternoon, then went out a few minutes ago to see about getting rid of that old bush, and guess what! It's gone, and there's a really pretty shepherd's hook and hanging basket in its place. The basket is full of impatiens, just blooming their little heads off. Now, I wonder who did that? I'll bet it was Stubby Fly. Thank you very kindly, that was a lovely surprise. Sugarplum thanks you, too. --Romeena

July 20, 2002 - Msg 8044: Evening Porch folks, just sitting out on the porch, swatting at mosquitos. Dang varmints anyhow. So how is everyone? Well I hope.
Not much going on here, putting up a fence and crying at the cost. Next time I think I'll just plant a row of trees and let em grow fer a few years then tack up some barbed wire. That'll show em. Daggum Home Depot has all my money. Oh well, shouldn't belly ache.
Ya'll be good and stay in the shade whenever possible. Who's cooking breakfast in the morning?


July 21, 2002 - Msg 8045: Well guess I'll be of to bed past midnight here.
My garden is really growing! plus with the rain we had yesterday that's a big help.


July 21, 2002 - Msg 8046: I'll do breakfast. How about scrambled eggs? And toast. That's my specialty. It will be served only between 5:00 and 6:00 a.m.
- Hazel

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8047: Didn't see you, Frenay. We was posting at the same time. Nice to see you on the porch.
- Hazel

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8048: Who's Frenay? Any kin to Malloy? For that matter, who's Malloy? --Romeena

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8049: Morning porch! Went to the races last night and hubby placed 5th. Got home at 2 and gotta be back to work at 8. So I am a little sleepy this morning. Left a BIG pot of coffee on the table for ya's. Hey Hazel send somebody my way with a plate this morning OK? I'd appreciate it. Asa, giving all your money to Home Depot?? My other half likes that store too. I bet yer fence looks good. Did you put it around yer concrete? tee hee Well I am outta here yall be good and have a wonderful Sabbath. And dont be nodding off in preaching either. I have seen "some" of you sleeping during the sermons. See yall later--Salty Dog

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8050: Romeena, there's a Frenay that posts over at Ms. Crumps, I guess it might be the same one. Congrats on the win for your hubby, Salty. I sent the Plum over to your house with a little basket of breakfast for you.
- Hazel

"I've been called plenty, from mad dog to chopper; but never tattle tale."

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8051: Good Sabbath Porch! I watched TAGS last night, don't usually wath the color eps, but Opie had such a classic line, I had to share it:

Opie (while Aunt Bea tries to cut his hair): "Aw, can't I have a pill or something?!"
In the 60's, having a bad haircut was akin to being tared and feathered. Poor freaked-out Opie!

~ Mrs. Wiley

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8052: Morning dears. That is so true Mrs. Wiley.
Thanks for the breakfast Hazel, I couldn't sleep anyway. I wonder if that basket made it to Saty's or if the Plumster had to stop for a picnic. If she is anything like Sammy, she didn't make it out the front door. Glutton glutton glut-TON is what he is.
I'll try to stay awake Salty, depends on the preacher. LOL Congrats on Mr. Salty's racing.
Well better go get ready for a na....... for preachin.


July 21, 2002 - Msg 8053: No word from Tom yet and I guess I'll snail mail Mavis too and see if she's still around. I'd call her long distance, but I tell you I can't afford it right now. Snail mail is still cheaper than long distance because I will talk the horns off a billy goat, even a loaded goat like Jimmy.
Have a good Sabbath.
Miss Ellie

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8054: Hey to everybody on the porch! It's been awhile since I stopped by. Happy Birthday to Don Knotts! One of the all-time greats. A genius is what he is. Lord, how I love that man.

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8055: AFternoon all hope you are all having a good Sabbath. It is HOT here today. Already had one storm and it made it hotter. Tell the Plum that breakfast was wonderful. She is a very good delivery d-- uh I mean furkid. Gonna go watch the rest of the race. Earnhardt Jr is in the lead right now and I hope he keeps it. See yall later--Salty Dog

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8056: Afternoon Porch. Hi Emma, good to see you. And thanks for reminding us about Don's Birthday. Would have hated to miss that. Happy Birthday to a great actor.
Hey Salty Dog. You mean to tell me the Plumbster made her delivery? That is quite a feat. I'm proud of her Romeena, you trained her well.
My Daughter had to sing at preachin today. I tried to get her to hold her hand behind her ear like Barney does, but she would'nt do it. What do you make of that? LOL.
You all have a great Sabbath.


July 21, 2002 - Msg 8057: Asa, you are a HOOT! Happy Birthday to my favorite comedic actor - Don Knotts - we love you baby!

~ Mrs. Wiley
"In the month of May...fa la la la-la la la laaaaah."

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8058: Guess since it'd Don's Birthday, I'll throw a little impromptu party - y'all are invited! T-bone steaks, escalloped potato casarole, steamed brocoli and tea. Someone got a nanner cream pie to brang for dee-zert?

~ Mrs. Wiley

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8059: Hey to Emma and the Porch.
Happy Birthday to the king... I wonder if all city officials get the day off tomorrow in Morgantown, WV?
Someday I'm gonna go there...sit on a park bench by the side of Don Knotts Boulevard...
drink cider...
count cars....


"...and washed my HAIR..."
"washed your hair?!?"
"she washed my HAIR..."

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8060: Mrs. Wiley, I'll be right over. That sounds great. Salty can brang the nanna cream pie with her when she gets off work. She loves them things so much.
Hey to Jelsik.


July 21, 2002 - Msg 8061: I'm coming out from under the rock for that,Mrs. Wiley! Sounds flavorsome as can be!!!
Thought I'd share something cute: My daughter babysat her little cousins for a few days recently.Guess you could call them "city" kids and she lives out in the boondocks. She had the boy out catching bullfrogs at night and once when the girls said they were "bored" (don't all kids say that?) my daughter gave them a shovel and sent them outside to dig a hole. She let them put water in it and they commenced to having a good old fashioned mud fight! She even let the little one take her shirt off.She wasn't about to let them back into the house all muddy,so she had them strip off the muddy clothes in the yard.The little one ( just turned 4) got so tickled-exclaiming that she was "naked in the country!" Those kids had the best time just doing good ole fun things.Good to get 'em out from the Nintendo and all that jazz for awhile.
I'd better quit typing and get to that spread Mrs. Wiley's laying out.Y'all save me a piece of that nanna pie!

possum under a rock

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8062: Laawww! Sure wish I could get there for Mrs. Wiley's shindig. Sounds so good, but off I go to work.
Yes, the Plum is a good little delivery girl, and she works cheap. A baby carrot is a treat for her. She's sad right now, curled up on my pillow, because I'm all duded up in a uniform, and she knows she'll be alone. Poor baby. If one of you gets a chance, drop by and knock on the window a time or two. Gives her something to bark at, and makes her feel important! See you later. --Romeena

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8063: Hey Frank!! Please send me an e-mail sometime so we can catch up.
--Allan "Floyd" Newsome

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8064: Hey to the Porch!Just stopped in to report on MayberryInTheMidwest. The show was awesome.It featured James Best, Maggie Peterson, The Dillards, Betty Lynn, Howard Morris, George Lindsey, David Browning,(Barney impersonator0 Allen Newsome(Floyd impersonator) and an Otis impersonator whose name I didn't catch. Mitch Jayne, who no longer plays with the Dillards due to hearing loss, spoke about Denver Pyle. The show was just terrific. Maggie sand "There is a Time" with the Dillards. There are just too many great moments of the show to mention right here.
Many of you don't know me, I used to visit when Frank ran the porch. I do recognize some names. My name is Terry and I live in Indiana and I am the mother of 3 kids, ages 19, 16 and 14. I hope to visit with you all more often. NumberThree

July 21, 2002 - Msg 8065: Oops, Allan Newsome, I am so sorry I spelled your name wrong in the above post. Miss Crump should give me a rude!NumberThree

July 22, 2002 - Msg 8066: Happy Birthday to Homemaker!
- Hazel

July 22, 2002 - Msg 8067: hi there. to hot want some rain.

July 22, 2002 - Msg 8068: 8067, you got a box fan? set some ice cube trays in front of your box fan and - you got cold air! Ain't nothing worse than no air conditioning in the hot summer! Drink lots of water, too. You might even try a spray bottle with water in it. An occasional spray on your face and arms feels real nice.

Try to have a good Monday Porch friends. Ro, can I bring Plum a T-bone? I promise it's way too big for her to choke on!

~ Mrs. Wiley

July 22, 2002 - Msg 8069: Happy Birthday Homemaker!! C> C> C> C> Ice creams for all!

July 22, 2002 - Msg 8070: Morning porch. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our BELOVED HOMEMAKER. I have it on good authority she turns 28 today.:) Hope you have a great day Homemaker.
Het number three, thanks so much for the report. It makes it nice for us who can't attend these events. Hope you will hang around here more often.
Well, better run, got work to do. Ya'll behave now.



July 22, 2002 - Msg 8071: Morning! Happy Birthday to homemaker!

NumberThree..... I remember you! Do you remember me?

Well, How was everyone's weekend? Mine was good but this weekend will be better. How you ask? Because this weekend I'm going to see my beloved Braves play the Phillies! My Aunt Winnie is in hopes that Maddux doesn't pitch b/c she wants to see Javy catch (he's her favorite) and Javy doesn't catch for Maddux. I just can't wait!

Everyone behave. Has anyone heard from Tom or Rock or BDJ?

Miss Dixie Belle Edwards

July 22, 2002 - Msg 8072: Thank ya'll for the birthday wishes. . .broke my diet big time by going to Cracker Barrel yesterday. . .mmmm . . .BBQ ribs and then German Chocolate Cake at home for dezzert! Talk about sugar filled day. Sure tasted good! It was hard to keep my young'ns out of my ribs though! So I told em we'd have BBQ again tonite - but not ribs.
Asa - you were right - I turned 28 again for the @#@%@ time! LOL With my diet I'm trying to get back my girlish figure - the last time I had one was when I was a baby so I figure my birth weight would be just about right (6lb. 10 oz) LOL

Well - the goats are calling for me - I bet they want to tell me happy birthday too! Ha Ha


July 22, 2002 - Msg 8073: Hey Ya'll!!I ain't skipped town nor nothin like that, my puter is sick & in the shop, might get it back tonight or tomorrow, so ya'll don't go worrying none about me, I'm just fine, it's my puter that is sick, something about the partition?? Don't ask me, that is what the fix-it fellar said it was. Back when I can.

July 22, 2002 - Msg 8074: Hi Mavis, glad you checked in! Asa was about to have a fit. Those partitions can be pesky if not done right. It's basically taking 1 hard drive and "partitioning" it into 2 or more (or vice versa, multiple drives sewn together to act as 1). Your geek-speak lesson for the day.

~ Mrs. Wiley

July 22, 2002 - Msg 8075: WOOOHOOO Mavis is back with us. Been worried about you girl. Thought for sure you had scram-a-vooed on us.
Mrs. Wiley, your ejukashon was worth every penney.:)


July 22, 2002 - Msg 8076: Hey To The Porch!!Yes, I remember you Miss Dixie Belle Edwards. I believe the last that I remember you were in high school, junior or senior year and you were a cheerleader. It is really terrific that you still post to the porch. Have a great day everyone!!NumberThree

July 22, 2002 - Msg 8077: Hooray! Mavis checked in! Glad you're okay, kid. Those 'puter problems can be rough, make you feel all disconnected and such. Now if we could just hear from Tom. Not so worried about BDJ, he takes off every now and then - goes hunting, I guess. But Tom is pretty much a homebody, so can't help worrying. Maybe he's having 'puter problems, too, and can't get out anywhere to make use of another one. Let's pray that's all it is.
Gotta run, time to get ready for work. Sugarplum is already on my pillow, looking injured. She hates it when I go to work. --Romeena

July 22, 2002 - Msg 8078: Happy Birthday to Homemaker. If your gonna blow your diet, I guess Cracker Barrel is about the tastiest way to do it that I know of. I have worked out five days a week for two weeks now and have not lost a pound, not a pound. Dirty me, Dirty me, I'm disgusted with myself! I haven't cheated on my diet or anything. What a bummer.
Gotta go, Triple H is on wrasslin'.
Fun Girl

July 22, 2002 - Msg 8079: FG - can you believe what Triple H did to the Heartbreak Kid - oh my my my! Not nice, not nice!
Well - it is back to my diet tomorrow. All the cake has been eaten and the ice cream has been finished off too. The BBQ pork chops tonite were just scrumptious! I cook good - even if I do say so myself. I hear my Diet Mt. Dew calling me now!

Had a union (association) meeting tonite. Starting year two with no contract. It is not a pretty site. The board says we are overpaid, lazy teachers. Let them come and speak to my children just for an hour and see if they can learn sign that quickly. Could be interesting!
We are not allowed to strike - Indiana has a definite law about that. So we continue on for the children and hope the board comes to its senses! Well - that's enough depressing news for the evening.

Thanks again for the birthday wishes.


July 23, 2002 - Msg 8080: Happy Birthday, Homemaker! Hope you had a great day. Sounds like you did! Catch up tomorrow. The ironing board calls. Nite--Helen

July 23, 2002 - Msg 8081: homemaker--hope you had a terrific birthday and that the contract thing gets settled soon. I can not imagine the frustration you must feel. All those who think that anyone who works with children have cushy jobs and do nothing but sit around all day, have another think coming. Well enough! I'll take my soap box and go home.
Fun Girl

July 23, 2002 - Msg 8082: Hey , How ya'll doing ?
It sure is nice having coffee with u here on the porch .Sure beats the heck out of last night ,
My boy and his family done came over to do their wash . Darn near stayed all night watching TV and letting his kids run wild .
On his way home , he done went and run out of gas , so had to give him some of my lawn mower gas to get home . He sure is lucky..if hit had no been so hot last week I would not of had any lawn mower gas on hand to give him .
Oh Well , got to go looking for a soy bean field !

July 23, 2002 - Msg 8083: Morning Porch. Whats cooking this morning? Breakfast I hope!
Hope your Birthday was great Homemaker. Sounds like you had a good one. Did you even have a pepsi? I'm trying to quit the pepsi too. Man it's hard to do, isn't it? Good luck with that contract and everything.
Hey FunGirl, it can be frustrating to be so devoted to diet and exercise and not drop a pound. You must have hit one of them there plateau's. Hang in there and it will happen.
Where did Salty run off to now. Sheesh.


July 23, 2002 - Msg 8084: Yep them caffinated drinks will sure grab hold of ya. I got hooked on Diet Dr. Pepper. It was a little better for me but the caffine was still there so Homemaker and Asa you just hang in there! YOu can do it! BTW homemaker don't feel bad about splurging......after all what fun is life if you can't enjoy yourself every once-n-awhile!

NumberThree--I'm glad you remember me! Yep I was a Cheerleader for 6 years. I'm about to start my second year in college now........ I really enjoy it there. Highschool was fun but there was so much fighting between classes.

Everybody hang in there and be sure to thank the good Lord for giving us all one more day:-)

Miss Dixie Belle

July 23, 2002 - Msg 8085: Morning porch, I aint run off nowheres Asa I am right cheer! Hey to Mavis, we been missing ya. Off to work for a little while but I will see yall later on--Salty Dog

July 23, 2002 - Msg 8086: Had me worried Salty.
I think we need to have a party or something, don't you guys? What about it?


July 23, 2002 - Msg 8087: How about a good old-fashioned pig roast
Maybe a cake baking party for the Church bake sale?
How's about a gathering of the Mayberry knot tying club?

Anyhting with food is OK with me...
~ Mrs. Wiley

July 23, 2002 - Msg 8088: Mrs. Wiley, you're a caution, a pure caution! "Anything with food is OK with me." I love it! Oh, and thanks for the offer of the T-bone for the Plum, but I'm just too scared to let her have any kind of bone, after I nearly lost her to that dratted chicken bone. Never have figured out how she got the thing, but little "trashmouth" that she is, she managed it somehow. To be so frou-frou and dainty-looking, and so smart, now and then she'll do something that's just plain (whisper) "dawg"! Don't tell her I said that, it'd hurt her little feelings.
About that bake sale, I bake a mean German chocolate cake, from scratch and all. I double the frosting recipe, and make the cake in four layers, so it's more like candy. Goooood! Shall I bring one?
Well, gotta go. Back to work, one more night. Then I'm off for a few, thank goodness. You all have a great Mayberry evening, hear? --Romeena

July 23, 2002 - Msg 8089: Evening porch, back home for work for a few hours anyways. Anyone for supper? Grilled chicken,(boneless plum) pasta salad, fresh lemonade and fried squash. Yall come on over. I think a party sounds good aint had one in awhile. Of course we will all have to keep an eye on party animal Asa hee hee. Saturday night is good for me. Well I am gonna go eat. See ya later--Salty Dog

July 23, 2002 - Msg 8090: Happy Birthday Homemaker !
Wow, DixieBelle, Number Three, Sherrif Frank, bunch of old timers coming back, that is great.
I want to thank the Lord for the much needed rain we have had lately. We still aren't out of the woods, but my grass is green where the good Lord watered it and we are on a well, so I appreciate the rain.
Hope all are well. Just popping in between customers. Emma came by for her pills, Barney for some foot powder and Opie for an ice cream cone. I fixed "my special sheriff honey, a special soda". Been a busy day. You know this is National Ice Cream Month ! I've been doing my share of eating it too...haha !
Have to test the products before I let the customers buy any, don't I ?
Have a good night and wonderful Wednesday.
Miss Ellie
"MY name is Malcolm Tucker." "Oh, of the Buffaloe Tuckers? " "He's the one that fell down a lot."

July 24, 2002 - Msg 8091: Hey to the porch! Well I finally caught up with Rock. We didn't get a chance to chat as he was surrounded by 10's of thousands of screaming fans. Tonight was WWE Smackdown, if ya hadn't figured that out. Little Opie and I went to the big city of Indianapolis and got to see all those purty men. Well, let me tell you friends, there was some major bud twangin' goin on in Conseco Field House tonight. I tell ya I can't decided who is easier on the eyes, Hollywood Holk Hogan, or Hard Core Holly. Two fine looking men, if I do say so myself. Of course MY Triple H is now with Raw so he was not there tonight.

Oh by the was, has Morelli's branched off from the Italian Restaurant business? Tonight I saw a dry cleaners by the name of Morelli's. Just wondering if they was kin folks or something.

Well now we have word on Rock, we still need to hear from BDJ and Tom. Have a good 'un ya'll.
The ironing board is a calling my name as it is almost two o'clock in the morning.
Fun Girl

July 24, 2002 - Msg 8092: Morning porch, off to work again, but I left a industrial strenght pot of coffee on the table. FG they would of had to put me on a leash around all them purty men. Glad ya had a good time. Yal have a good day and get them plans made for that party while I am gone to work. Later--Salty Dog

July 24, 2002 - Msg 8093: Happy Birthday to our dear Romeena!
- Hazel

Barney: Andy, this town is a piece of cake.

July 24, 2002 - Msg 8094: Hey porch
Happy belated birthday Ro. I've been gone, took my granddaughter Asia Marie down south to pin the wings on her Daddys chest, she is 8. They both were so proud on one another. It was a prideful moment. There were over 400 in the class. My oldest son wasn't able to attend, he was on the road working. It sure was hot there. We came home a day early. ((((((((((())))))))))'s to all. Ellen Brown

July 24, 2002 - Msg 8095: Morning Porch. Happy birthday to our dear sweet Romeena. God bless you dear, may you have a great day today and enjoy it much. I hope you have many more.


July 24, 2002 - Msg 8096: Happy Birthday Romeena!

Hey Ellen Brown ......I'm guessing you mean that your husband is a pilot now am I right and if I am cin I go on a ride? Huh? Huh? Huh? Pretty pleeeeeeeeeeease? I promise not to get sick!

I got a question ( and please excuse my ignorance after all i was absent for a long while ). You know it's hard to tell when you're reading these things wether someone is joshing you or not so I was just wondering. Our "Rock" is not "THE" Rock is he? Once again I apologize for not knowing but you gotta admit Someone will laugh about it!

Nothing new.....just waiting to leave for Atlanta on Friday! GO BRAVES!

Miss Dixie Belle Edwards