August 11, 2002 - Msg 8426: "Durring our lifetime, we travel many roads..."

Y'all are a SCREAM!
~ Mrs. Wiley

August 11, 2002 - Msg 8427: This is for Mrs. Asa in case she sneaks up on the porch- I hereby attest to the fact that FUN GIRL was not part of the shenanigans that went on with Asa last night.Don't go swingin' that skillet at her.She's got her hands full chasing them wrasslers!
Y'all don't tell Mrs.Asa which rock is mine,ok? Salty,you'd best lay low for awhile too!
possum HIDING under a rock

August 11, 2002 - Msg 8428: Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.
- Hazel

August 11, 2002 - Msg 8429: THIS SUNDAY MORNING WAS THE BEST EVER !

August 11, 2002 - Msg 8430: Hey porch, wow am I in dutch. Mrs. Asa (I call her bloody mary) has got me doing chores around here (the rock)till the cows come home. Golllllieeee. Wash the floor, chop firewood, cut the grass. But on a high note she said I can go out next weekend again. Guess it's the only way she can git me to do things around here. I reckon I'm game though.:)


August 11, 2002 - Msg 8431: Good Sabbeth Porch!
My Sister went to church with me today, it has been a long time since she has gone, I was so Happy to have her there with me. My hubby was watching the race, he is a Jeff Gordon fan, Gordon hasn't been doing so well this year . Oh my in 2 1/2 hrs it will be time for evenin services. Just wanted to say Hey and Asa it is mighty nice you helping Mrs Asa out. God Bless you all.... Ellen Brown

August 11, 2002 - Msg 8432: Stubby, if that valley runs east to west, don't ride a white horse wearing a black suit! Congratulations on the find - we's glad to see you settling down. Miss Ellen, ain't it nice to go to preachin' with family? God Bless you!

~ Mrs. Wiley

August 11, 2002 - Msg 8433: Howdy Ya'll !
Hey Mrs Wiley , seeing as how I'm kind of new to these parts ..What's this about not being able
to ride a white horse when I have on my Sunday best ?
Any hows looks like I'll be busy starting tomorrow at daylight ! Me and my boy has a field to clear !
-Stubby Fly -

August 11, 2002 - Msg 8434: Stubby - you best watch some more TAGS - then you'll know why. . .that's all I'm gonna say on that subject!
PTL - we had some rain today. . .for a moment I wasn't sure what was comin' out of the sky. . .my husband said - did you see that lightning - and I said I thought maybe it was a fancy strobe light since I hadn't seen fire in the sky for such a long time. It sure was a blessing!
made some fresh peach jam last nite. . .sure does smell delish!
Take care ya'll. . . .

August 11, 2002 - Msg 8435: Hey Stubby, I'll just tell you the white horse was ridden by Barney, you'll have to figure out the rest! (Actually, maybe someone else can 'splain it better then me!) Good Evening Porch! I sure did miss you. Sounds like I missed another fun nite out with Asa and Fun Girl and possum and (who else went?) Clara, your comment about how all those old t.v. and movie stars look now was a classic! Made me laugh out loud while reading the posts! I also have seen the Arsenic and Old Lace movie. It was a classic. My mom, (God rest her soul) used to do community theater and she played the role of one of the dear old ladies! How about Grace Kelly in "Dial M for Murder"? Another great old movie. And any movie with Jimmy Stewart. Well, that's all for now. I'll be getting up early so's I hope someone gets breakfast ready for me cause I'm too tired to think about it now!!
Mary Wiggins

August 11, 2002 - Msg 8436: Please say a prayer for our 11 year old niece who just got out hospital. They couldn't pin point what was wrong with her, spinal meningitis or mono. She is supposed to go back to the doctor tomorrow.
Please pray for her. The only good the antibiotics did her so far is to bring her fever to normal. She has other health problems as well as her baby sister and father.
Her parents aren't saved, or don't act it. Pray for them too.
Beautiful day here.
Miss Ellie

August 11, 2002 - Msg 8437: Mary Wiggins--I said it before and I will say it again. I was no where in the vicinity of the picture show the other night. I repeat, I was in Mt. Pilot with a wrassler.

I am really tired tonight and have many things on my mind. Please say a prayer for situations in my life right now. I look around and am so grateful to the Lord for all he has blessed me with, but there is one burden I am carrying around and it is so heavy. I know I should leave it to the Lord, but you know sometimes human nature wants to take over. Just please pray with me over these things. Thanks porch friends.
Fun Girl

I brought my broken toys to God
With tears for Him to mend.
I knew that I could trust Him,
Because He was my friend.
But instead of leaving Him,
In peace to work alone,
I stayed around and tried to help,
In ways that were my own.
At last I snatched them back,
And cried,"How could you be so slow?"
"My child," he said, "what could I do,
you never did let go." ----Unknown

August 11, 2002 - Msg 8438: Mary Wiggins, I think I missed somethin'. When I sat down to read ya'll's posts, there were some missin'. Is there anyway to back up and read the ones from yesterday?? Miss Ellie, I will sure pray for your niece and her family. It must be so hard to go through hard times when they don't know the Lord. You know, the Lord has been talkin' to me about how powerful prayer really is. One time, I was particularly upset about a situation and I said to the Lord, "I don't know what I can do. I feel so helpless.". Well, I felt like the Lord answered me an said, "That's because you don't think prayer will really make a difference". That made me think. I always thought I believed in the power of prayer, but I really didn't understand how powerful it is. Keep the faith. Ya'll have a great tomorrow---Love, Boo

August 11, 2002 - Msg 8439: Evening porch. What a fun weekend we had huh? Back to the grindstone tomorrow. But thats ok.
Miss Ellie, prayers for your niece and her family. And also for her Doctors so they can find what is ailing her.
And FunGirl, what ever your burden is, may the good Lord bless you and keep you dear. ((((FunGirl)))). Hang in there and He will direct you.
And prayers for everyone and anyone on the porch who needs them tonight. God bless all you wonderful people. This is the greatest nation in the world, and it's because of down to earth, God loving folks like you. Ya'll are so special to me, thank you for your friendship.


August 11, 2002 - Msg 8440: Fun Girl, I'm with ya, Sweetheart. I'll say a special prayer for you tonight. Hang in there---Boo

August 12, 2002 - Msg 8441: Morning Y'all. Boo,the porch was swept recently and if you want to look back and read about some of our goings-on ( details of the infamous "picture show trips with Asa")the go back into the Archives.
Prayers for Miss Ellie's niece and Fun Girl. Keep the Faith.Prayers for all us Porchsters as well.
Have a good Monday.
possum under a rock

August 12, 2002 - Msg 8442: " The Secret of Life is enjoying the passing of time... Any fool can do it...there ain't nothing to it... Nobody knows how we got to the top of the hill... But since we're on our way down,might as well enjoy the ride...
Isn't it a lovely ride...see me sliding down,gliding down...
Try not to try too hard,it's just a lovely ride..."

Thought we could use some James Taylor up here on the porch this morning.

possum under a rock

August 12, 2002 - Msg 8443: We gonna have a sing-along? Let me see if I got my throat spray. (squirt squirt) O.K. I'm ready. By the way, thanks for the good thoughts, porch.
- Hazel

August 12, 2002 - Msg 8444: Uh-oh, Hazel brought out the bug spray for her lar-nex. You know what that means. Time to break out the ear plu.... uhhh never mind. Hazel, are you sure you should be loosening up your lar-nex like that? Why not rest it for a bit dear.


August 12, 2002 - Msg 8445: HELLO,

August 12, 2002 - Msg 8446: Morning porch, is it just me or does it seem like Mondays are coming more than just once a week? Uggh back to work for me. I think I have finally recovered from the weekend. Yall have a good day and prayers for everyone that needs them and the ones that will be needing them before too much longer too. I got some stuff going on my life as well. Nothing major just enough to worry a person about. Boo, there is a link at the bottom og the box you type in that says "archives" just click on it and you can go back and read all the past posts. Asa, hope you are out of the dog house now. Hazel, did you get an organ stuck in your throat? tee hee Love yall a bunch!-- Salty Dog

August 12, 2002 - Msg 8447: I was wonderin,? Do you think James Taylor, who wrote and sang so many beyootiful songs, was any relation to Andy? (You know they both play the GEEtar). Any way, prayers for Miss Ellie and Fun Girl and anyone else who needs them.
"Heavenly Father, I ask that you cause this day to be a blessing to all of us here and help all of us to be a blessing to you and to our fellow man. Especially look after our friends who have situations they need help with. In Jesus' name. Amen. That's the first time I prayed on the internet. Anyway, I hope you all have a great day. Hugs to all. (((((porch))))))
Mary Wiggins

August 12, 2002 - Msg 8448: Well - there are some powerful going ons here this morning! Prayers for all those that need the. . .

School for my oldest starts on Wednesday. . .I think he is excited. . .can't really tell. . .he's more excited that his brother is going to pre-kindergarten. Go figure!
Maybe more rain in the forecast. . .I sure hope so!

I'll sit and chat later. . .the goats need to be fed!


August 12, 2002 - Msg 8449: Good Morning! Well Local schools started this morning.... Poor,poor!

I have one more week. I'm still being lazy! But I'll get over it! Well seems that a lot has been going on ....I'll have to get on the ball and start checkin' in everyday again!

Salty--If I had known I was that close to you I would have stopped by for a lemonade and a sugar cookie!

I hope everyone is behaving,.....Asa, Mrs. Wiley, homemaker, and CT....This , means you!! ;-)

Well I'm sure that Guywatch '02 will pick up again once Classes start so everyone keep your eyes & ears peeled!

God Bless And remember I remember you all in my prayers at night because you are SPECIAL!

Miss Dixie Belle Edwards

August 12, 2002 - Msg 8450: Hey 8445!! Welcome to Mayberry.

August 12, 2002 - Msg 8451: Hey Mary, James Taylor just might be related to ole' Andy- James is originally from the Chapel Hill area of N.C.I am a MAJOR JT fan but I'm not gonna carry on about him here on the porch except to say that his music is so special.Helped me through a lot of things in my life.
Well, I am one excited possum 'cause I'm going on vacation Labor Day weekend!!! Why,am I so excited,you might be asking yourselves.Well, I am going to Chimney Rock! Now I can tell y'all from what I've seen in pictures that THAT is one big rock! Ain't nobody gonna smoke me out if I get under that one! Hee Hee Hee
Hugs to everyone on the porch... Welcome # 8445!(((((PORCHSTERS)))))
possum under a rock

August 12, 2002 - Msg 8452: Hey yall back from work. Geting ready to start supper. Possum you aint gonna be far from me either. I have been there and it is huge let me tell ya. About an hour from me. If ya go across the parkway you'll be even closer to me. Have a great day yall. Hope Asa is all right. The last time Mrs Asa got after him he didn't see nothing out of her for 2 weeks!! Then his left eye finally started to open back up just a little. tee hee Later--Salty Dog

August 12, 2002 - Msg 8453: Good evening ya'll. . .FG are you watching them wrasslers again. . .mu hubby has them on but we are about getting ready not to watch them so much if they can't clean up their language just a bit. Tonite - they are awfully foul! Tsk, Tsk, Tsk

Welcome to all who are visitating the porch for the first time. . .we are a wonder to behold!

I am trying to nurse my little boy's sick turtle. . butterscotch is not wanting to eat and he/she/it is just acting a little funny, not it's normally perky self. Heading to a bigger pet store tomorrow to see if I can nurse it cheaply back to health.
Take care everyone -


August 12, 2002 - Msg 8454: Good Evening, Porch... Had a busy weekend with grandkids and all... did I mention that grandchild #6 was born in July? Beautiful little girl, but wow, what a crier! Well, no matter those good looks of hers will probably get her whatever she wants someday.... some poor feller will be putty in her hands! Just like Andy warns Opie, ....if a purty face can turn your head at your age, heaven help ya when you're all growed up!
Prayers for Salty, Fun Girl, and all who need them. Trust in the Lord... He is our salvation. And just because life has been a little tough on you lately, I'm gonna share my supper with you... went over to Mt. Pilot and got some Chinese... sweet n' sour pork, orange chicken, chow mein, and fried rice.. even got a couple of egg rolls left... help yourself!

August 12, 2002 - Msg 8455: Oh, and I'll put out my special pickles for ya too! (don't know if pickles rightly go with Chinese, but this is Mayberry so I guess it's okay!)

August 12, 2002 - Msg 8456: Hey, all! Just stoppin' in to see what's happening. Hope everyone had a Mayberry kinda weekend.

August 12, 2002 - Msg 8457: Fergot my font check. :-)

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8458: What weekend? It's Monday! Hope all had a good day. Nothin's changed around here-still hotter than blue blazes. I never could bring up the archives for some reason. Noticed on the news tonight that another little girl was abducted. We should pray for her and her family.
I really didn't want to bring that up but these abductions are really starting to bother me. I was thinking about that bible verse that says,'because eniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold', and I don't want that to happen to me. I know God loves everyone. How are we suppsoed to feel about people who do horrible things? I know God can forgive them, too. We have all sinned and are only saved by the grace of God. Living in Texas (the execution capitol of the nation), I sometimes have mixed feeligs about capitol punishment. Any opinions on the subject or is this too heavy for the porch? I'm sorry, I guess it has really been bothering me and I value the thoughts and wisdom of you fine people. God bless you tonight and tomorrow!----Boo

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8459: Zeal without knowledge is fire without light.
brought to you by Opie, leading newspaperman and snazzy dancer

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8460: Good morning everyone. . .me and the doughboy are putting on some sweet rolls and there is a fresh gallon of chocolate milk in the fridge. . .help yourself. . .

Well Boo. . .didn't hear about the latest abduction and Indiana has put a few criminals to death. . .sometimes I feel that capitol punishment is just. When young children are savagely attacked for no reason - that is just cause. In Ky., they arrested a man who had been molesting his girlfriend's daughters (with her perission). . .I 've always heard that molesters have the rough side of life in prison. . .I certainly hope so because that would be just cause. I think that would be worse than death being a "girlfriend/slave" in the prison system to another inmate.

It seems that the twin girls that were separated in CA are doing well. Prayers for them.

Prayers for us all in these troubled times for our nation.


August 13, 2002 - Msg 8461: oops - that should be perMission, I'm dropping my 'M's again. . .

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8462: Good morning porch, homemaker, thank you bunches for the sweet rolls they is good. Prayers for our porch family and our nation as well dont know what the world is coming to. All these little girls being kidnapped. I dont have any myself but I cant imagine what a parent would go through if that happened. Just another sign that we are living in the last days. Yall have a good day and keep a good thought--Salty Dog

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8463: ** Supposed to be- I dont have any kids myself just wanted to clarify.

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8464: Good Morning Porch!
Boo, you do pick a heavy subject. I can tell you one of my dearest friends spent 15 years in a federal prison for murder. He was "born again" in prison and has been out for about 20 years. He returns to that and other prisons at least monthly if not weekly and ministers to the inmates there. I don't ever want to have to talk to the people he talks to, they are scary individuals, but God has His ways and they are much higher than mine. I have no sympathy for people who do wicked things, some, however, are still capable of asking for and receiving forgiveness from God! I praise Him for that because I have needed His forgiveness on so many occasions. His mercies are new every morning and great is His faithfulness! Fellow Mayberrians, let's carry that thought with us today! Oh and by the way I left a coffee cake and some o j on the porch for ya all!
Mary Wiggins

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8465: Mmm thanks Miss Mary, that coffee cake is Yummers!

"The Lord's Mercy is from geration unto generations for those who fear Him."

~ Mrs. Wiley

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8466: I agree homemaker. Them wrasslers sure do have potty mouths. I may just quit watcing if Triple H doesn't straighten up. He is being just down right ugly to Shawn Michaels. He is low down and mean for no reason. There is no call for that.

I am trying not to worry so much. Everytime I start thinking about things, I just remember that all my Mayberry friends are praying for me. Thanks so much.

School starts tomorrow. We had our first staff meeting yesterday. I work with some really fantastic people. Our principal got a divorce this summer. She was awful down trodden at the end of the school year last year, but it seems a burden has been lifted from her. I am glad that she is relieved of it, but I am never happy to see a marriage die.

Well I am gonna go. Little Opie and I started homeschool yesterday and it takes me an hour to get the computer program figured out before we can even start of a morning.

Not so much of a
Fun Girl

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8467: Afternoon Y'all. Mary,those coffee cake crumbs were flavorsome as can be! Afraid I got to the porch a little too late! Don't wanna spoil my good mood (Just bought James Taylor's new cd!) so I'm not gonna jump in on the discussion(s) y'all have had going on. So much bad in the world-we have to focus on the good and most importantly-pray. That's all I'm gonna say about that! (Sound like that Forrest Gump fellow,don't I?) Ha Ha
Salty,you are a LUCKY dog! You're living in God's country.I would LOVE to live up in the NC mountains.Maybe one day-I can dream!
Hope everyone has a good evening. Have a good day at school Fun Girl!
possum under the rock

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8468: Hello Porch! The last 2 days we have been painting inside our little country church , We have it done, had a great time in the Lord while doing it, a lil tired but feeling fine, we have our ladies ministries meeting tonight and I copied off the lil poem Fun Girl put in here, I'm going to read it tonight, this is so true of a lot of us. Me any way. My sister helped us paint today & she is going back tonight with me , Praise God, Please remember her in prayer, her name is Jo. God Bless you all.. Miss Ellen Brown...(((((HUGS)))))

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8469: Will do Ellen Brown. Seems as we get closer to the one year anniversary of 9-11 we are all getting a little more reflective in our thinking. Seems hard to imagine a year has gone by almost.
Hope everyone is doing well. Where has Charlotte Tucker and Hazel ran off to?
Thanks for washing my truck today Salty. Your A-OK kiddo. Hope your doing OK.
You too FunGirl. Hope whats ailing you gets better soon.


August 13, 2002 - Msg 8470: Boo, I told my daughter how you got your name and she laughed so hard! She thought that was so funny. My four year old says he "needs backup" cleaning his room. Guess I better go "backup that little sweetie! Have a great evenin' porch!
Mary Wiggins

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8471: Welcome #8445. Good to see you Des.
Hey to everyone else.

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8472: Hey to jb and the porch.


August 13, 2002 - Msg 8473: hey Jelsik! It's good to see you! Hows every little thing?

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8474: Hey, porch! Do ya'll remember my friend who got searched at the airport and said he liked it? Well, he's found him a girlfriend on the internet. She's from Buffalo. Well, she is down here in South Texas to visit him already (hope she likes him!). My brother in law informed me this week that he started taking Viagra and is a new man (he had been having problems because of his diabetes). Beulah said, "That's what Boo needs, not Viagra, but diabetes!". Now don't that beat all? Some women don't miss fine wine till it's gone!
I thought I better lighten things up tonight instead of talking about the death penalty...
Ya'll have a great tomorrow.-----Boo

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8475: Okay Prayer Warriors - my job is in jeopardy, the director of special ed wants me changing my class list 2 days before school starts. I am really upset and tomorrow I am telling her that I respectfully decline her new offer and wish to stay where I have been for 13 years. Unfortunately, she is hard hearted and has her own agenda and is extremely vindictive when she doesn't get her own way. So I will be facing a years of wrath for this decision. So I need some prayers for peace and for her to have an open mind. If not - my year will be miserable any way I go. Thanks in advance. . . .


August 13, 2002 - Msg 8476: Oh, I forgot to tell ya that it's so hot here, I've been feeding ice to the chickens to keep them from layin' boiled eggs!---Boo

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8477: Hey y'all! What part of south Texas you in, Boo? I'm in the San Antonio area. I know how hot it is here -- DANG hot... lol! Maybe be gettin' some showers in the next coupla days. If not, I'll settle for clouds. :-)
Hey to jennieboone and everyone!

Font check: negative

August 13, 2002 - Msg 8478: PTL - the little girl in CA was found!

August 14, 2002 - Msg 8479: hey homemaker.. I will be praying about your job situation. Please pray for my friend Kelly and family, whose father passed away today. I lay my burdens down at Jesus' feet, but am always tempted to pick them back up again. I know that I could only mess things up worse than I already have, so I know with the Lord is the only way to go.

Here is something just for a chuckle:
(sung to the tune of Clementine)
Oh my Barney, Oh my Barney
Had a jail and couldn't lock it.
Had one bullet for his pistol.
Had to keep it in his pocket.

Got time to breathe, got time for music!
Fun Girl

August 14, 2002 - Msg 8480: Hello all. . .thanks Fun Girl for your concern. . .I did get a little sleep tonite. Heartburn woke me up. . imagine that! I don't know how you will do it - working with students all day and trying to homeschool. . .more power to you and your Opie. He must be very cooperative. You're lucky.
Negotiations stalled again with our school contract. . .so this year is extremely frustrating and it hasn't even officially begun yet. How sad:(

homemaker (who wishes she could retire, where are my lottery tickets?)

August 14, 2002 - Msg 8481: Morning Y'all. Gee homemaker,your Special Ed. director sure sounds a lot like mine. She can be a real pain. Luckily,things are ok with my work situation this year. I will certainly keep you in my thoughts & prayers.
It's waaaaaaayyyyy too early for me to be up here on the porch {{{{{YAWN}}}}}-Got a pot of coffee and Krispy Kremes for everybody!

possum under a rock

August 14, 2002 - Msg 8482: Morning porch. Good luck today, Homemaker. I say we all go down to the furniture factory. I hear they need glue dippers.
- Hazel

August 14, 2002 - Msg 8483: Morning porch have a good un--Salty Dog

August 14, 2002 - Msg 8484: I think I may need to get a job at the furniture factory once today is over :}.

August 14, 2002 - Msg 8485: wings of prayer.
on the wings of prayer
our burdens take flight
and our load of care
becomes bearably light...
and our heavy hearts
are lifted above
to be healed by the balm
of god's wonderful love...
and the tears in our eyesare dried by the hands
of a loving father
who understands
all of our problems,
our fears and despair,
when we take them to him
on the wings of prayer.


August 14, 2002 - Msg 8486: Blessings upon you Homemaker. Them boss people can be a real pain sometimes. Prayers and (((((homemaker))))) for you.


August 14, 2002 - Msg 8487: Tom how do you always know just what we need to hear? Bless your heart. Thank you so much for your poem it seems tp just put everything into perspective for me today. Later--Salty Dog

August 14, 2002 - Msg 8488: Thanks for the poem Tom - and all the well wishes. I get to keep my classroom for one more year and then if I stay with this special ed coop - I will have to do full time traveling from building to building. As of right now I'm exploring other options in my field. She wasn't mean or vindictive when I told her of my decision but she wasn't happy either. I think it will be a rough school year. Thanks everyone for lifting up this situation.


August 14, 2002 - Msg 8489: Homemaker, I am glad you get to keep your room. Maybe by next year some great situation will just fall right into your lap. I am glad also that your boss took it in stride. Some of them bosses out there must be under a tremendous amount of pressure themselves. (All my bosses are younger than Well I hope y'all have a great day!
Mary Wiggins

August 14, 2002 - Msg 8490: Oh Daph, would you just look at his hair.....

August 14, 2002 - Msg 8491: Pa, I wasn't gonna squander it.....what's squander?

August 14, 2002 - Msg 8492: rytdgjf32ngly,htjt

August 14, 2002 - Msg 8493: 8492 must be Boos baby?

Prayers for all the harried employees!
~ Mrs. Wiley

August 14, 2002 - Msg 8494: HEE HEE HEE HEE Your a caution Mrs. Wiley.


August 14, 2002 - Msg 8495: You know how you feel when you see your mother on the roof.

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8496: Don't Ya'll understand baby talk? Hope everyone is in good spirits this evenin'. I am. I wanna apologize to ya for the Viagra thing yesterday. Beulah says I should shut up and get saved. I told her I WAS saved and she said, "Then act like it!". So, I'm tryin' to act like it now.
Somebody asked me yesterday (not sure who) what part of Texas I'm from. I'm livin' just outside of Corpus Christi, and boy is it humid. You mentioned San Antonio. Honest, I saw on TV that San Antonio was voted the sweatiest city in America. No foolin', I really saw that and belive it too. I made the mistake of going to the zoo in August one time and near got heat stroke. There was nothin' to see cause all the animals were hidin' from the heat. I sure felt sorry for those poor polar bears. They must really suffer.
Did ya'll see TAGS tonight? It was the one where Howard goes to live on the island. I thought it was real funny for the color episodes. "Wanna buy a ship in a bottle?".
What that about seeing your mother on the roof? I don't get it.----Boo

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8497: I have seen my mother on the roof and she even hung Christmas lights (up until a few years ago) with my dad lifting her up in the scoop bucket in front of the tractor. And two weeks ago she fell out of the peach tree picking peaches. Remember she is only 78 years young. Keep her off the roof - it might be safer than up a tree! (She only got bruised from the tree incident - no broken bones!)
We got rain again yesterday - WOWOW!! Talk about exciting.
And today I start school...the fire marshal is supposed to come and inspect (for the third time) to see if it is safe for children to be in the building. As of right now - there are no bathroom facilities and limited running water. PLEASE!
Oh well. . .
Talk to you all later in the day. . . .


August 15, 2002 - Msg 8498: By the way Mary Wiggins - there are words to describe my box - most unprintable here - but she looks like Lilith off of Frasier except multiply that by about 10.

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8499: that should be boss - not that I don't want her in a box!

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8500: Boo, you asked what someone meant by seeing their mother on the roof. Well, it's from a TAGS show where Andy is talking about Mrs. Petersons cat, Fluffy.
Andy: Mrs. Peterson's Fluffy's on the roof again.
Barney: This is a time for pu$sycats? With a killer on the loose?
Andy: Well, Fluffy's got kittens and you know how you feel seein' your mother on the roof.
- Hazel

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8501: Ooops, fergot to say good morning. Morning, dear.
- Hazel

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8502: Morning Honey, how are yall this morning? We got some much needed rain last night. Calling for some more today. Boy do we need it. Got 10 hours ahead of me today and I dont like it. But I will have 3 days off for my hubbys birthday. So I guess it is worth it. Where is possum been hiding hope she's alright. We have another night out Saturday. That is if Asa can get away with it. See yall later have a good day--Salty Dog

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8503: I know... I was right there in it!

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8504: We want to hear all about the Saturday nite out, Monday, Salty.
Ya'll make me LOL all the time.As we say around here, Ya'll are a mess!
Homemaker, your Mom can climb trees and roofs and I can't step off of a curb! I stepped off of curb Tues,twisted an ankle, and most likely broke my arm. ;( (I'll find our tomorrow for sure. Ya'll pray that it wont be casted). Sure messed up our anniversary weekend. It's been 15 yrs today, that I made the best decision of my life!
Homemaker, sounds as if you're awfully busy these days.I know you'll love homeschooling. You have a year or so, I hope the situation changes by then, a lot can happen in a year.
Boo,LOL. Now who's Beulah? I don't remember her.(Then again I didn't archive.)We always like to watch the Viagra race car. Lots of jokes there!
Congratulations on #6 Clara. ((((Baby)))) I know you're a proud Grandmother. My Father-in-Law always said, "It's not bragging, if it's the truth!" Just remember that, when you feel like you're braggin'. It's just tellin' the truth! ;)
I bet Boos baby even turned on the 'puter and signed on too!
Thanks for the KK's possum. Mighty goooodd.
They say it take 6weeks or so and the cryin' will calm down. I found that to be true.
Tom, it's so good to see the poems again. They are always right on time. You bless my heart.
Miss Ellen, I know the Church looks beeutiful. We go to a small country Church too. It's like a family there. Love to all.---Helen

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8505: Afternoon Porchsters! Salty,I'm geared up for Saturday night! You driving this time? I can drive if you don't want to,but Asa left those dang bongos in my car and I haven't gotten around to throwing them away.Plus,they are too slimey to pick up with all that brylcreme on 'em.If Asa finds them..oh my! Don't think I can manage to drive all the way to Mt. Pilot with Asa bongoing and singing "Juanita" at the top of his lungs! So you drive ok? Hope they're showing TKAM over at the picture show this Sat. Isn't this about the 3rd time we've gone over there and it's NEVER playing? Hmmm... makes me wonder if ole' Asa is in cahoots with the picture show feller? What ya think Salty? I think I smell a rat!
Homemaker,you have Special Ed. kids and No BATHROOM? How in the world are you expected to deal with that? I feel for you.Do you at least have a window? I'm in a windowless room-it could be sleeting,snowing,etc. outside and I wouldn't know unless I waled out & way down the end of the hall where the windows are! Luckily I'm not claustrophobic! Think living under a rock for all this time has helped me with that!
Well,I think it's thundering outside and fixin' to storm as we say down South,so I'm getting off the puter for now.
Y'all take care! Good luck homemaker.
possum under a rock

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8506: oops- I meant WALKED outside-not waled!


August 15, 2002 - Msg 8507: Hi Porch! I know how I feel seeng my Daddy on the roof (at 83)! He was up there last week trying to snake the Plumbing vent. He got it in there, but it got stuck and he couldn't get it out. Cost him $600 to "call the man". When I called, he told me he was "having plumbing problems". I just HAD to ask..."physical or house?" Broke him up.

I'll be up t'th big city tomorrow thru Monday, have a job interview - wish me luck all you unhappy employees, this one's for YOU!

~ Mrs. Wiley
Barney:"well... that's my 2nd book. I done used up my first order book."

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8508: Helen, thanks so much for the congrats on my precious granddaughter. It's my daughter with the two autistic sons who is the mother of this one. So, as you can see, this a very, very special baby.... she kinda represents our family's faith in the Lord's will. My daughter knew any baby she would have might well have autism too since the two she already has both have it. But, she put her faith in the Lord and went ahead and had another one... God bless young people like that I say... this country needs more of 'em who can love their children no matter what! Well, enough of my braggin... but I guess like Helen's daddy says, if it's the truth, it ain't braggin!
Have a great Mayberry day you all! ~Clara~

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8509: Go hit a home run Mrs. Wiley. Good luck and prayers go with ya.
I agree Clara, you got plenty to be braggin about there. Your daughter sounds like an angel.
Ok possum and Salty, I'm all ready for the weekend event. I may even go over to Floyd's and get the works, aftershave, witchhazel,o.d. colonge. If it smells, I want it.
Good to see you Helen. You are way to scarce around here you know.
Hang tough homemaker, you will win in the end.
Where has Romeena and the plumpster gotten off to? I declare you gals worry me at times.
Well blessings to all. Love ya all.


August 15, 2002 - Msg 8510: Asa, you gonna wear the 'ol salt and pepper? Ya know it's cut just right for the dip.

~ Mrs. Wiley

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8511: Helen, I'm sorry about your stumble - hope that arm is OK! Prayers for you! ~ Mrs. Wiley

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8512: Helen, congrats on your 15th wedding anniversary! That is way cool. I hope you have a good celebration. I hope your broken arm doesn't put a damper on the festivities...
Good luck in the big city, Mrs. Wiley.
Uh, Salty and Possum, I saw the man change the marquee at the moviehouse, the movie this weekend is that Glenn Ford one. You may not want to take Asa to that one. He'll be Glenn Fordin' it all over town.
- Haze.

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8513: ooops, that's Hazel. tee hee

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8514: Haze is just fine... kinda like Ange!
Thanks, Asa... yup, she's a treasure all right. Kids may give you gray hairs before they's all growed up, but afterwards they make those hairs sparkle like silver!
~Just me, Clara, checkin in before bedtime with a trouble check. You all have a good night. See you in the morning for coffee.

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8515: Good night porch.
God Bless y'all
This is for in the morna to start ur day.
Only one to a Customer
This bright new day.
Complete with 24 hours of
opportunities, choices, and atud.
A perfectly matched set or 1440 minutes.
This unique gift, this one day
cannot be exchanged, replaced, or refunded. Handle with care.
Make the most of it.
There is only one to a Customer

Good Night. Miss Ellen Brown

August 15, 2002 - Msg 8516: Dang Ellen, and here I was gonna loaf around today.:)


August 15, 2002 - Msg 8517: Been a busy day!! Night, All. Have a great day tomorrow----Boo

August 16, 2002 - Msg 8518: Hey yall got home from work finally. Going to Lonestar steakhouse tomorrow night for the hubbys birthday. He is the ripe old age of 33tomorow or today seeings how its after midnight. Bunch of us is getting together and going. So yall are more than welcome. Possum, I can drive iffen ya want me to. I think you are on to something about Asa and that picture house feller man cause remember when he made us sit in the balcony and we were sure we saw empty seats down front. We are gonna have to look into that one. Poor Ro I hope she is ok. She aint posted much since we was at her house. Bless her heart between Asa eating all her pizza pie plus getting cheese on her germ slides its a wonder she didn't throw us out. Well I am off to bed got me three days off and I am going to sleep in in the morning!! Nite--Salty Dog

"Now I'll Drive... So I'll sit in the front seat."

August 16, 2002 - Msg 8519: Howdy, all! The Plum and I are just fine, thanks for asking. I did have a a little trouble getting that cheese off those slides, though. Finally just threw them out - didn't matter, they were old, outdated germs anyway.
Haven't been around much, having monitor problems. It's dying, and I've already ordered another one. Got the brightness pushed up so far on this one that the overlay hurts your eyes, and still the background is so dark you can't see anything. Icons are all pale and washed out, about the only thing that is usable is email and the porch. I'm going for an LCD this time, only about $100 more than a CRT, and a lot less bulky and heavy. I can't even pick up this one I have, weighs 45 lbs. So, may as well spend a bit more and move into the next generation.
I never saw the like of broken bones, job problems, kid challenges - you name it, it's part of our lives here. I'm so glad we all have each other. Prayers for each of you. God will meet you at your point of need. I would ask for your prayers as well, as my little dad is losing ground mentally a little at a time. Still functional, but oh my, some of the bizarre things he says and does! We wake up in a new world every day. I just try to go with the flow.
Have a lovely day tomorrow, friends. Sugarplum yawns a sleepy little hey!

August 16, 2002 - Msg 8520: Gee... Am I the first one up on the porch this morning? Yep,looks like it.Well,I'll head out for some Krispy Kremes for everybody.The coffee's going already so help yourselves.
Don't know what to say about that picture show situation.Glenn Ford playing,y'all say? Salty,we're gonna have our hands full with Asa! Bet he'll even bring that rusty old gun of his along on account of it being a Glenn Ford movie.I still think it's worth heading over to Mt. Pilot-maybe we can sweet talk the picture show man into putting TKAM on for us since we've been such faithful customers these past Sat. nights.Worth a try.
Hard to believe it's been 25 years since Elvis left the building for the last time.I had just graduated high school that year. Where does the time go?
Everyone have a great day!
possum under a rock

August 16, 2002 - Msg 8521: Would you believe I have never had Krispy Kremes before? Heard alot about em so I be looking forward to it Possum.
Happy Birthday to Mr. Salty Dog. Will he be wearing his birthday suit today? What you gonna do with 3 days off in a row Salty? I have no pull what so ever with the feller at the picture show. I hear he likes to collect tin foil to though.
Good to hear from you Romeena. Sorry to hear about your Dad though. My prayers go with you both. Just know that you are a blessing in his life.
Well once again we made it to Friday and boy do I need it. Got a situation going on at work thats a real... situation is what it is.:( Seems to be the way of the porch world right now, although mine is minor compared to what some of you are dealing with. Good luck on that interview Mrs. Wiley.
Well better get off to work and make something of myself. Later gang. Love ya one and all.:)


August 16, 2002 - Msg 8522: Morning porch, I am all sugared up from them Krispy Kremes. I probably should have only eaten 3! Thanks Possum! Well, I thought I'd tell you a little story from the eyes of a 3 year old optimist, (not optometrist). My little boy and I were driving by a factory and the chimneys were just puffing out huge clouds of smoke into a clear blue sky. My little boy shouts out, "Look ma, all the clouds are going in there!" (Cloud vacuum I reckon!)
Have a great day:)
Mary Wiggins

August 16, 2002 - Msg 8523: TOM, I think that is the most beautiful poem of all.
Y'all say a prayer for me, family disputes and my feelings got hurt. So I decided it is best just to stay away from this group of sinners. They won't listen to me and resent even me trying to talk to the children about praying. BUT they can't keep me from praying.
And they are mean people. I am scared what they might do to me or my Mama if I cross them. Gotta look out for my Mama. She's looked after me.
Speaking of prayer, a fellow named Tim is coming up for a parole hearing. Please pray the evil forces (people) that put him there unjustly won't be able to attend the hearing. Tim is needed at home to help his parents. His father is not well. Tim's aunt is in the hospital with problems with both legs and her lungs. She is elderly. Please pray for her also.
Congratulation Grandma.
Well, I best get my day started. Got lots to do and my husband will be home before I can turn around. I have trouble sleeping. Pray for that too, as I need to go to work soon, hopefully 7 to 4 so I can ride with Hubby and I don't get to sleep until 2am and sleep until 9:30am...can't work like that.
Nice to see every one
Romeena, prayers for your Dad. I see in my elderly folks a decline in their minds, but I bet most people would say my mind ain't nothing much to talk about-I'm forgetful, "Wonder what causes that?"

Miss Ellie
"The whole world stands till because two people's feet fall asleep."

August 16, 2002 - Msg 8524: Looking for info on Opie's friend Eli.

August 16, 2002 - Msg 8525: Just wanted to say hey. I'm sorry I haven't said hey. Just have had a busy summer.


August 17, 2002 - Msg 8526: Mornin' Y'all! Salty,you come pick me up tonight BEFORE Asa so we can put out game plan together in case things get out of hand.He might be lurking around here near the porch,so we'd better not say too much right now.I'm leaving a box of Wheaties and a bottle of Geritol on the porch for ya Salty,and anyone else who wants to go to the picture show with Asa and us.Think we're gonna need all the help we can get-'specially if Asa starts acting all "Glenn Ford-ish" on us!
Will give y'all a report on tonight's events soon as we get back to Mayberry(I do hope we GET back to Mayberry!).
possum under a rock

August 17, 2002 - Msg 8527: OUR game plan... not "out" Sorry about the typo!

August 17, 2002 - Msg 8528: Howdy Ya'll ! Sure did get a good rain last night !
Hope all is well with everybody for the week end .
Need to head over to the Dinner for some Coffee right now ..I'll try to stop by later !

August 17, 2002 - Msg 8529: Hey, All. How are ya? I already been down to the diner and talked to Juanita. I been havin' trouble with my asthma and she rold me I should get a Chihuahua dog. Anybody of heard of that? She says they help asthma. I told her I would rather have the asthma! Been an uneventful weekend so far. Just sittin' around tryin' to bear the heat and humidity. If Beulah will let me, can I come to the picture show with Ya tonight? I don't care what's showin'as long as it's not a musical. I hate musicals..meeeeeee theeeeeeeymeeeetheeeeeeey........Boo

August 17, 2002 - Msg 8530: "I never saw a half a boy, Pa."-Opie

August 17, 2002 - Msg 8531: Asa,Asa, Aaaasa! I am hoping that you ain't over the age of 18, cause anyone who is old enough to drive and vote really needs to have eaten at least half a dozen Krispy Kremes in their life time. Besides, that is where Mr. Fun Girl is now employed. He worked at a local grocery store chain, but you know all the job problems we are having on the porch? Well let's just say that we are not the only ones. And that brings me to my next point. I gave my two week notice yesterday. There are so many things to say about that situation, that I would have to write a book to fit it all in. Let it suffice to say that when a teacher has too much time on their hands (imagine that!) and someone gives her something extra to do. Namely work in the lunchroom during her free time. She comes in and changes everything and causes total chaos in the lunch room and none of the lunchroom aides is even informed of the changes. Well let me tell you, it is not a pretty picture. We lunchroom aides have worked together for four years and there has never been a cross word between us. We even go shopping together and invite each other over for cookouts and everything. Now we are all so stressed out that all of our husbands are telling us to resign. I was in tears on Friday just telling the secretary that I was resigning, but I have never in my years there felt sick about going to work and every day now I have a not in my stomach the size of Alaska. (Yes, my stomach is that big.) Anyway, no one understands why these changes were made. It is the biggest mess anyone has ever seen. I just do not understand why the principal has let this happen. I went and talked to her the first day and she basically smiled and nodded at me and said it would all work itself out. NEWSFLASH--It aint happening. And so, as I am just a lowly lunchroom aide and special ed sub it just doesn't matter what my opinion is. I most days I only work 1 1/2 hours a day and so the money is not even an issue. Besides, Little Opie and I will not have to split up our homeschool day. I really wish that the situation would be resolved, as I dearly love my job, but I just don't see that happening.

I only worked a couple hours a day so that is why I could do homeschool too. Well I have said my two cents worth. Well actually it was probably more like a quarter's worth.

Oh by the way. I went to see Trace Adkins last night. AND SPEAKING OF BUD TWANGIN'! It was a mighty good show. And as I am a member of his fan club, I got to go to a meet and greet and have my picture taken with him and get his autograph. I felt so bad for him. It was miserable hot and he looked so tired. I just hope he knows how much his fans appreciate all he does. Of course his paychecks ARE pretty nice, I am sure.

Well enough said.
Just think of all the charges of malfeasence Barney could bring against our employers. Sorta makes ya want to smile, huh?

Sorry to ramble.
A hot under the collar,
Fun Girl

August 17, 2002 - Msg 8532: Hey Porch! Happy B'day Mr Salty Dog, Hey Asa krispy kremes are great. Ro good to see you and the Plum are ok. Pollyanna says hey to the Plum & Sammy Mary Wiggins that was a cute story. Miss Ellie good to see you on here. We will pray for ur mom & Ro's daddy. Hi FG . (((((((HUGS))))))) TO ALL. I need to get out of here have to help with Bee Branch's Annual Ice Cream Social, a little church our little church fellowships with. We have a GREAT time ever year at this, wish y'all could come to eat. All kinds of home made ice cream, and such. Menu polish sauceage, coneys, hamburgers, potato salad, slaw, pies, cakes, cookies and on and on, It's all in the Lords service and open to the entire comm. Pray we have a good turn out. We do every year, but it wont hurt to say a prayer for us. Love in Christ, Miss E

August 17, 2002 - Msg 8533: 8532 Ellen Brown,

August 17, 2002 - Msg 8534: Afternoon Y'all! Boo,Salty Dog is doing the driving to the picture show tonight, so get Sarah to ring her number for ya and see if she'll pick you up.I'll be glad to have somebody else along to help out if Asa gets outta hand! Do make sure it's alright with Beulah-we've already had a run in with Mrs.Asa.I still shudder at the thought of her swinging that frying pan at Asa!
Fun Girl,I am so sorry about you having to quit your job.Will you still keep the Special Ed. position though? I know how much (like me) you love those kids.Hope things work out for the best.Glad you got those buds twanged a bit though! Yep,ole Trace will do that for you everytime!
Guess I'd best go prepare for the picture show excursion.Y'all think Asa might behave if I bring him a box of Krispy Kremes? It ain't right to go through life not having tried them! On second thought,don't want him getting jacked up on all that sugar.He's bad enough as it is! (((((ASA)))))
Will report in after the picture show.Y'all have a wonderful evening!
possum under a rock

August 17, 2002 - Msg 8535: Good evening, folks! Asa, don't feel too badly. I hadn't tasted a Krispy Kreme either, until last year, just about the time I got diagnosed with diabetes. (Wouldn't you just know?) Anyway, if the Lord made anything that tastes any better, He kept it for himself! They are goooooood! I can't eat them like I'd like to, but I do snitch one now and then. My doctor knows it, I just try to make up for it somewhere else.
Prayers for all those with job troubles. Things are happening where I work, too, several nurses jumping ship and leaving the rest of us to manage short-handed, but I can't blame them. They were a bit mistreated. I have no personal complaints, been treated pretty well all along. I guess after 23 years, they figure they ought not to mess with me, and I appreciate it.
You know who we haven't seen in a while? Mavis, that's who. Wonder what happened to her? Hope she didn't run off with some drummer or snake-oil salesman. I'm thinking of making the Plum pink for the holidays in a while, and wanted to ask her how to go about it. I think she told me once, involves food coloring, I believe, but I want to make sure. I don't want to do anything that would be harmful to my fluffy little companion. Actually, if she doesn't quit eating so many baby carrots, she may just turn orange all by herself! (teehee)
Well, gotta run. Hunger calls, got to rustle up something to eat. Have a lovely weekend, friends, and Sugarplum says hey!--Romeena

August 17, 2002 - Msg 8536: Fun Girl - I understand! Nuff said. . .we were happy that our phys ed teacher got not only lunch duty BUT recess duty this year. . .she (in the past) had almost 2 hours of prep a day. . .well the new principal is trying to be fair so she got stuck with duties! We never laughed so hard in our life. The poor music teacher only gets a half day in our building and he needs a colostomy so he will have a restroom break. Poor man!
That's all the news fit to print!


August 17, 2002 - Msg 8537: Oh,y'all will not believe it-I mean,y'all will NOT believe it! Me,Salty Dog,Asa,and Boo took off for the picture show over in Mt. Pilot,but we never made it there! About 2 miles out of Mayberry and Salty's truck started making all kinds of noises- kind of a cross between Gilley Walker's "pa-chings and pucka-puckas" and Barney's first car. I was waiting for the steering wheel to start rising up in the air! Anyway,the truck died on us.Salty thinks it must've got messed up by us wringing the brylcreme outta Asa's hair that time the truck ran low on oil.Shoulda never used brylcreme instead of motor oil,but anyway...
We all got outta the truck and sat along the side of the road by the creek to wait on Gomer or Goober to come along.Asa started pulling the horsehairs outta his suit.I guess Boo don't know what happens when you put them horsehairs into stagnation water,but possum (who is VERY afraid of snakes) sure does! Before we could stop him Boo had slung a handful of those horsehairs in the creek.Salty screamed,I screamed and the two of us took off running like scalded cats! Left the truck,left Asa,left Boo.Didn't wanna stick around to see them horsehairs turn into snakes-no sir! Hope Asa and Boo get home ok.I gotta crawl back under my rock-I'm wrung out as a dishrag.That's all I can recollect-maybe Salty can fill in anything I left out.
possum under a rock

August 17, 2002 - Msg 8538: test

August 18, 2002 - Msg 8539: Doggone, I still can't figure out what happened! Me and Asa finally got some help. Goober came by and helped us out but I can't figure out what happened to Salty and Possum. They just took off runnin' and wouldn't come back when I called. It was plum foolish to run off in the woods like that. They coulda come face to face with that crazy Ernest T. Bass and he might of hauled 'em off to his cabin as brides. Who can figure out women? I'm goin' to bed. I'm tuckered out. Next time, Asa, let's me and you go to the picture show alone!---Boo