August 18, 2002 - Msg 8540: Me and the mr. stayed up late last night working with goats - a lady came to pick up a goat at 2:30 in the morning. Needless to say - we are all tuckered out this morning. Of course the boys are as fresh as daisies and got plenty of sleep. . .go figure!

It sounds like Possum and Boo and Salty and Asa had another eventful evening trying to go to the picture show. Ya'll are just nuts!

Have a restful Sabbath.


August 18, 2002 - Msg 8541: I can feel a sweep comin'

August 18, 2002 - Msg 8542: Told you so!

August 18, 2002 - Msg 8543: Well! I think possum and Boo and Salty and Asa would do better to just rent TKAM and watch it on their TV. Seems like they get into a big old scrape of some kind every time they try to go to Mt. Pilot, to say nothing of Asa having to come home and face Mrs. Asa's skillet. If they watched it at Asa's house, maybe Mrs. Asa would cook them up something good in that skillet instead of swinging it at Asa. If you all decide to do that, let me know. The Plum and I will join you, 'cause I just love that movie. In fact, you don't have to rent it. Come to think of it, I have a copy. I'll bring it, and some carrots for Sugarplum to keep her quiet in the serious parts. Now, how does that sound?
Just got back from taking my dad to church. He carried a little suitcase with him today, had a change of clothes and shoes in it, "just in case we decide to take a trip after church". There's no precedent that would have given him that notion, don't know where it came from. Bless his little heart, his hold on reality is getting looser every day. Prayers, please.
Well, guess I'll go rustle up some lunch. Got some fresh spinach, maybe a nice salad and a little pasta. Sugarplum says hey! --Romeena

August 18, 2002 - Msg 8544: Well ain't heard the kicker yet. Our P.E. teacher doesn't do recess duty. She just stands around in the cafeteria and bosses us around but doesn't go out for recess at all. I feel that since my resignation, if she has to go out for even on hot, muggy, sticky, humid Indiana August days, my life will not have been lived in vain.

I am outta here for now. Have a good un.
Fun Girl

August 18, 2002 - Msg 8545: Good Sabeth porch!
just wanted to say hey. Miss Ellen Brown

August 18, 2002 - Msg 8546: Afternoon Porchsters! Still haven't gotten over last night's picture show excursion,but I've calmed down enough to type.Boo,I hope Salty didn't get hauled off by Ernest T.Bass-Mr.Salty Dog's gonna be mighty upset if that's the case!Salty's probably home resting up after that sprint through the woods.Haven't seen Asa up on the porch-y'all think Mrs.Asa clobbered him again? Romeena,I vote for your suggestion of viewing TKAM over at Asa's house.Think he'll behave with the missus around! Prayers for your daddy too,Romeena.Bless his heart.
Well,guess that's it for now.Y'all have a wonderful evening!
possum under a rock

August 18, 2002 - Msg 8547: Afternoon porch. I been laying low till the missus calms down. She's a fine lady but she does got a temper. That where quite the sight last night, watching Possum and Salty running like scalded cats. Don't know where Salty run off to. Ain't heard from her since. I would love to have you all come over to watch the picture show to my house. Maybe someone could brang some krispy kreams with them.
Hey Ro, I heard that Mavis was having puter problems. Hope she gets it fixed soon like.
So sorry about you situation FunGirl. Sounds like you did what you had to do.
HAHA Homemaker is out selling goats at 2 a.m. in the morning and she calls us nuts? I wanna see what kind of shoes she's wearing. LOL
Prayers for everyone. Been kinda busy but I hope to be around a little more next week. Ya'll don't forget about me now. Love ya all.


August 19, 2002 - Msg 8548: Don't get too bitter, now Fun Girl!HA I feel just awful about you quittin' a job you love. Are ya sure things wouldn't have gotten better with time? I worked for years in a job that was unbearable at times but I was determined that nobody was runnin' me off and I saw people and administrations come and go, and times got better and worse and better again. I was glad I stuck it out and it was a real character growin' experience. I'm not sayin' you shouldn't have quit, I just care about you and hate to see you give up a job you love if things might get better, ya know? Hope ya all had a great Sunday and God bless and keep you through the week!!--Boo

August 19, 2002 - Msg 8549: Mornin' Dears and Honeys! Seems like I made it to the porch before everyone else again! Well,let's see what I can rustle up for about some strawberry jam on toast? I've got the coffee going too and I must say it's flavorsome as can be on a Monday morning!
Y'all have a good one and remember to ACT LIKE SOMEBODY!
possum under a rock

August 19, 2002 - Msg 8550: Monday morning porch. Thanks for the breakfast Possum. You sure cook up a mean toast.:)
Where is Hazel and Salty and Charlotte gone off too?
Waiting on your report from the trip to the big city Mrs. Wiley. Hope the interview went well.
Guess I best get to work now. Ya'll behave.


August 19, 2002 - Msg 8551: Morning porch, off to work now. Got cut back from 28 to 30+ hours down to 21 hours this week. Dont really know why either. But any way I am off to my 4 hour work day. Then I will be off for two days then another 4 hour day. Well yall have a good day. Later--Salty Dog

August 19, 2002 - Msg 8552: Hi All will this was a bad weekend , two friend of my lost a loveone.
one pass away fridaynight
he had a wife and two kids and the sce pass away sunday he had a wife andfive kids so please said a prayer for thim all.

August 19, 2002 - Msg 8553: Oh, Tom! Bless your sweet heart. I'm so sorry for your friends. We will all pray for God to bring them comfort. Things are going to look pretty dark to them for a while now, and there's not much anyone can do but just be there and love them. Maybe you could find one of your beautiful poems and post it here in the memory of those who have gone.
Got jury duty tomorrow. Seems like that rolls around pretty often these days, but I don't really mind. It's a good opportunity to people-watch, and oh, the things you see when you haven't got your gun! I can't believe some people will report for jury duty looking the way they do. Of course, they don't get chosen - maybe that's their plan. Hmmmmm, let's see. I have a purple sunhat - I could stick a peahen's mate's tailfeather in it. (How's that, censor?) I could wear knee-high stockings and roll them down to my ankles and wear my blue sandals. An old green sweater of my husband's and some droopy, knee-length cutoffs ought to finish it off. I could draw on several "tattoos" and clip earrings all over my ears and one on my lower lip. Oh, yes, I have a string of multicolored beads about three feet long, I could wear them, and sort of twirl the end of the string now and then. Think that would keep me off a jury? Not that I really mind serving, it's interesting really, but now is a bad time to be pulled off work. We're several nurses short and it would put a hardship on my co-workers.
Well, gotta run. I'm leaving a jug of cold lemonade and some shortbread cookies on the porch rail for anybody that wants some. Enjoy! Sugarplum says hey!--Romeena

August 19, 2002 - Msg 8554: Hey Romeena, just act like Aunt Bee did when she was on the jury. That'll learn em.
Sorry about your friends losses Tom. They are in my prayers.
Hey Salty Dog, you OK? You been real quiet.


August 19, 2002 - Msg 8555: Hi Porchters! TOM, I will surley pray for your friends who passed. FG, prayres for your situation as well. I hate to see strife come upon the workplace. Darn shame.

I don't have time to give you the whole story, but my interview went well. He wants to see 3 samples of my work, so I have spent all last night till the wee hrs, and all day today working. Hope to finish tonight and give you the details. keep a good thought!

~ Mrs. Wiley

August 19, 2002 - Msg 8556: Afternoon porch, Asa there aint too many people that would agree with you that I've been quiet. I am usually very vocal! Sounds like we all ben having job troubles. 2 of the plants have shut down here and there are a lot of people out of jobs. So I guess I really cant gripe cause I get cut 10 hours. Them finance companies dont understand about stuff like that. Well I am off for the next two days. So hows about a picnic at my house tomorrow for lunch? Yall can swing by on yer lunch hour. Fried chicken sound OK? Just come on by around 12ish. Maybe Asa will forget them bongos. See yall later on--Salty Dog

August 19, 2002 - Msg 8557: can any one tell me about the david mendelbright menreol horse trought in front of the court and who is david mendelbright

August 19, 2002 - Msg 8558: Romeena,that get-up you described sure ought to do the trick in keeping you from getting picked for jury duty! You had me laughing with your cleverness in getting around the censor.When I was telling y'all about our latest picture show trip,the ole' censor got me when I tried to say we should've never subs***uted Asa's brylcreme for motor oil. So I had to use the word ""instead".How many of y'all are gonna sit here and dissect every word? That censor is something else!
I do believe I see lightning outside of my rock,so I'd best get off the computer.Thinking of y'all with the job troubles & hoping everything works out.I thought I had it bad,working like a dog for peanuts,no benefits.Good thing I love my job,ain't it? I'm thankful.Salty I'll stop by for lunch if I get to feeling better.Dang sinus trouble is about to do me in!
Everyone have a good evening and a lovely tomorrow!
possum under a rock

August 19, 2002 - Msg 8559: That doesn't make sense! What I meant was that I had to say "We should've never used brylcreme INSTEAD of motor oil!" My head is more clogged up than I thought!

August 19, 2002 - Msg 8560: Hey again! Possum try ya some echinacea sp? You can find it anywhere that sells vitamins, Wal-mart, Kmart or wherever. But just take it while you feel bad or your body will become immune to it. It will work I promise. Later--Salty Dog

August 20, 2002 - Msg 8561: Morning Y'all. Salty,I've got some of that echinacea (ya spelled it right) sitting in my little basket of meds,but never really tried it.I will certainly try it,cause I feel bad. Gotta knock this out before my trip to Chimney Rock! Thanks for the advice.
Not up to cooking breakfast for everybody,but I left a box of Raisin Bran up on the porch.It's left over from my supper last night.You know you're sick if all you eat is cereal for supper! Anyway,I've gotta hang in there so's I can teach my little rugrats at the school house.They were buck wild yesterday! Got a new little 3 year old who cried for his mama all day.Hate to leave the teacher with all those kids,so I'll try Salty's herbal remedy and try to get out there and act like somebody!
Y'all have a great day!
possum under a rock

August 20, 2002 - Msg 8562: Morning Porch. Sorry to hear you are ailing possum. Did you try soaking it? LOL
Glad the interview went well Mrs. Wiley. Hope it brings good things your way.
I wonder if Romeena will take sugarplumb with her to jury duty? I would if I was her.
Hazel, where are you hiding girl? I'm gonna send out Blue here in a minute.
I'll be over for lunch Salty. Sounds real good. And maybe if your lucky I'll bring my harmonica with me to entertain ya'll.
Off to work for now though. ((((porch))))


August 20, 2002 - Msg 8563: Morning porch, Hope yall have a good day. Come on over for lunch. Chicken, Tater salad, biscuits, mac and cheese and some apple pie for dessert. See yall later. Asa you can bring that harmonica iffen ya want to. See yall later--Salty Dog

August 20, 2002 - Msg 8564: I'll be there, Salty! Thanks for the invite. I'll bring the "apple squeezin's". I got some from Briscoe Darlin last week. Barney says they won't get us drunk....Boo

August 20, 2002 - Msg 8565: Afternoon Porchsters! Salty,I'm feeling a mite better and I'm hoping it's that echinacea.I'm gonna keep taking it as long as I'm ailing.Asa,I see you suggest a good soaking-might just have to dunk my whole head-Ha Ha
I think I will actually cook up some vittles for supper-sausage,mac & cheese sounds pretty good.If I have any leftover I'll bring over to Salty's.I guess I can tolerate Asa on the harmonica,but don't let him get near the bongos!
Y'all have a good evening!
possum under a rock

August 20, 2002 - Msg 8566: Afternoon, Ladies (and Gents).... hope all is well with you today. Where are most of the folk these days? Don't hear much from them. Hear a lot of some shameful shinanigans from Possum, Salty, Asa, and Boo... such goin ons, such goin ons! (though I don't mind a bit cause it makes for spicy talk with my sweet tea on the porch!) Well, I'll get back to more respectable things now like puttin up pickles! You all have a good day... but, not too good Possum, Salty, Asa, and Boo! ;) ~Clara~

August 20, 2002 - Msg 8567: This message is from Sam. He wanted me to let y'all know that he's been in the hospital with a couple'a broken legs. Say's hi to all and hopes to see talk to y'all soon.

by john morgan ,
friend of Sams

August 20, 2002 - Msg 8568: Wisdom is divided into two parts: (a) having a great deal to say, and (b) not saying it.
brought to you by Opie, leading newspaperman and just a plain old snazzy dancer

August 20, 2002 - Msg 8569: Lawd a Mercy Sam! What happened Sam's friend? Keep us posted, won't ya?

Real-life Mayberry Moment: While visiting my kids in the big city, we always had to debate which one would get to sit in the front seat of my car. Before we left for Church with Grandma, Mom announced "Now, I'll drive.". Therefore, I felt compelled (it's a compelshun) to say to the kids, "Now, Grandma will drive, so she'll sit in the front. I'll sit next to Grandma, in the front. Cass, you sit in the back, and Kate you sit in the back next to Cass." Mom would have 'gotten it' if she had been listening.

8557, Is David Mendelbright realted to Barney's Land Lady Mrs. Mendelbright?

Hey to Asa, Salty, Possum, Clara, Boo, FG, homemaker, Ro, Plum, Miss Ellie, TOM and all the Porchters!
~ Mrs. Wiley

"You're my friend Mishus BendleMright."

August 21, 2002 - Msg 8570: Morning Y'all! I'm the first one on the porch again?? Seems like I should get a plaque or trophy for that-it ain't no small feat,believe me!Did I spell plaque right? Doesn't look right to me,but anyway...
Salty,you are one fine Root Doctor! That echinacea stuff has helped me feel much better! I'll have to bring you a souvenier (that don't look like it's spelled right either!) from the big Rock (Chimney) when I head up there on vacation.How about a keychain for that truck of yours? Now,the rest of you don't worry,I'm bringing something for EVERYONE! Y'all just gotta behave and don't go off on no wild tangents like those picture show excursions while I'm gone!
Well, I guess I'll rustle up some breakfast-POP TARTS for everyone! Ha Ha (Well,you get a choice of 2 flavors-frosted strawberry or grape!)
Have a good Wednesday!
possum under a rock

August 21, 2002 - Msg 8571: Believe I'll let the poptarts slide on by, Possum. But thanks. Are you sure you want a plaque? We know how you feel about fuss and falderol. Lord knows the job itself is reward enough. Mrs. Wiley, did anybody get sick as a dog on your car ride? Speaking of Mayberry moments, you know in that same episode, the part where Thelma Lou is driving Barneys car, and the camera backs up to show Andy, Gomer, Aunt Bee and Opie pushing the car... well, my daughter gets that real intense look on her face when she's pulling the car in the garage (if she knows I'm looking). Then she looks at me and we laugh. Sorry I aint been on, Asa. Just been trying to get a bunch of stuff done and I just haven't had the time to be on the computer. But I missed you all.
- Hazel

August 21, 2002 - Msg 8572: Morning porch. Possum, your always throwing around your ejukashin. Spelling all them big words, and at this early of an hour. I declare I don't know how you do it.
We have several folks missing and I don't like it one bit. Please check in with us and let us know all is well with you. You know who you are.
Hope everyone has a great day.


August 21, 2002 - Msg 8573: HAZEL... We was posting at the same time. Good to see you dear.


August 21, 2002 - Msg 8574: Morning porch, Possum glad that echinacea worked for ya girl. I am a big believer in that stuff. Dont worry about bringing me nothing back from Chimney Rock just come by and see me. I will more than likely be at work. See yall later--Salty Dog

August 21, 2002 - Msg 8575: Afternoon Porch people! My Mayberry Moment of the day would be this: I work in a Special Ed. class and one of our little girls was going to try to spend two hours this morning in a regular kindergarten class.The other aide got up to take her over there and I just looked at her and said "Act like somebody!" She smiled and nodded-it was really cute! My most used Mayberry phrase would have to be "Nip it in the bud!" Find myself using that one a lot with those younguns!
Salty,I'll try to swing by your place when I take my trip.We can practice our skeet shooting so's we can have a shoot off with Asa and Boo.Gotta find something else to do besides sitting around at the picture show eating that buttery popcorn!
What-y'all didn't want my Poptarts? Ha Ha Just can't get rid of those things!If I'm first one up in the morning I'll have grits and bacon for everyone. Y'all don't even have to give me a plaque-Lord knows,the job itself is reward enough!(Right ya are Hazel!)
Have a wonderful evening!
possum under a rock

August 21, 2002 - Msg 8576: Hey Boo, I can tell she likes me. Look how many pop tarts she gave you cause your my friend.


August 21, 2002 - Msg 8577: Good evening all - it has been a hectic week getting started back to school. Sorry I can't spend more time with you right now. . .
You are always in my thoughts. . .

August 21, 2002 - Msg 8578: By the way I love cherry poptarts - no icing. . .and cinnamon ones too.. .believe it or not - when I was pregnant, poptarts was one of the foods that I could keep down. (That and peanut butter sandwiches and chocolate milk). I was a funny eater but I only gained 10 pounds with each child (of course tossing my cookies - or poptarts - daily helped with lack of weight gain)!


August 21, 2002 - Msg 8579: Well I only gained 10 pounds with each one of my children to. LOL


August 21, 2002 - Msg 8580: Asa, I'll bet your doctor told you to watch your weight - that's why you keep it right out there where you can see it (Asa pats his tummy).

Anyone see TAGS tonight? Barney's last episode - it's BIG!

~ Mrs. Wiley

August 21, 2002 - Msg 8581: Yep, saw the Barney episode, Mrs. Wiley. I like strawberry frosted poptarts. What's the matter with you people?!! Where in the world is Fungirl? and what happened to Jake from Texas? Let us hear from ya'll.
I gained 30lbs with both my young'uns.---Boo

August 21, 2002 - Msg 8582: Howdy Ya'll!!! It's me, *Mavis!! Bet ya'll thought I got lost or somethin huh? Well I didn't, just had some puter problems, still have them, but I went out & found me one to borry til I got mine fixed. Sure am glad to be home, I'm just as fine as a frog hair spilt 4 ways about it! I missed ya'll!
sure hope I done that right!

August 21, 2002 - Msg 8583: Yeah MAVIS is home!!! Time for another party. . .


August 21, 2002 - Msg 8584: I'll brang the mulberry squeezins!!!

August 21, 2002 - Msg 8585: Hey Mavis!!! It is about time girl. Party for Sure!! My fav poptarts are frosted strawberry. That or the smores. See yall in a bit.-Salty Dog

August 21, 2002 - Msg 8586: Party? I'm there! Welcome back Mavis!
- Hazel

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8587: Mulberry squeezins, I'm there!!--Boo

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8588: Whoooooeeee! Not only is Mavis back, but I got my new monitor today! The porch hasn't looked this bright in over a year. My poor old monitor was slowly dying and I didn't even realize it until it reached the terminal stage. Now I've got a new LCD and it's terrific!
Mavis, I was asking about you a few days ago. Am thinking of making the Plum pink for the holidays this year. Would you mind emailing me the directions? I'm in the "Cutlass", as you know.
Am glad that jury duty is over. No, Asa, I didn't take Sugarplum with me. She'd have been very bored. I got on a jury for a drug bust. Three of us were unswerving for guilty, four deadset on not guilty, and five on the fence. In other words, we were hung. After we deliberated all day today, the judge came in and said the perp had decided to plead guilty and take deferred adjudication and three years probation. Ha! I knew he did it! Anyway, that was the best outcome, saved a mistrial and subsequent repeat trial, etc. Things do work out most of the time.
Oh, I'll bring some coconut macaroons to the party, but somebody has to promise to hold me back and not let me eat more than one or two. Have a great day tomorrow, friends. Sugarplum says hey!--Romeena

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8589: Good Morning Y'all! Well,the Poptart lovers have decided to come out of the closet,huh? I'll bring a bag full of 'em to Mavis' homecoming party and y'all can have at 'em! How about grits ,bacon,and OJ for breakfast? There's plenty on the porch for whoever wants them.
Hey to SugarPlum and y'all have a great Thursday!
possum under a rock

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8590: MAVIS NEFF,I DECLARE YOU EVER TAKE OFF ON US AGAIN LIKE THAT I'M GONNA TAKE YOU OUT TO THE WOODSHED!!! It's so good to hear from you dear. We all missed you much. Welcome back.
Never had gits before possum. What is they? The rest sounds fine though.
Glad you held to your beliefs Ro. You make me proud. Hey to the plumster.

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8591: Whoops, pushed the wrong key and posted before I was done.


August 22, 2002 - Msg 8592: Mornin', Porch! Welcome back, *Mavis! Just dropped in to say Hey. I'm not happy to admit it, but I do like those brown sugar cinnamon frosted Pop Tarts. (eek!)
~Anonymouž~ (hee hee :-)

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8593: Hey everybody! I'm back from Florida. It was great fun there and we had a good time with my aunt and uncle. Haven't had time to read the archives so I don't know what's goin' on. Prayers for the friends Tom lost though. I did get a chance to read To Kill a Mockingbird while I was gone. I need one clarification: When Scout was listening to the ladies at the missionary meeting, Mrs. Merriweather is going on about how folks in the town are misguided and she's talking bout how her Sophy is sulky and not workin' like she should. Then Miss Maudie gets angry and says "His food doesn't stick going down, does it?" I don't get that. Who and what is she referring to? If somebody has the book, look that up and explain it to me. Missed ya'll!
Charlotte Tucker

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8594: Welcome back, Charlotte Tucker. Check out this link - it explains a lot.

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8595: Good Morning Porch! What a week this has been. My husband is an artist and we did an artshow a few hours from our home. We got to spend time with duck hunters honing their duck calling skills and if I NEVER hear another duck or goose call it will be just FINE with me! And when one of the hunters came in our booth to check out our work we were justed THRILLED when he spit out a big chaw of tobacco! We always meet so many nice people at these doings! We really do meet a lot of nice people, but none compare to the friends right here on the porch!! My Cousin Vinnie has a part where a cook at a diner tells how to make grits! Funny movie! Welcome back Mavis, I think I'll bring some Strawberry Shortcake to your party! How would that be?
Sure did miss you all.
Mary Wiggins

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8596: Just what I love about this old porch, you folks sure know how to eat! & eat good at that!! teehee, thanks for all the welcome backs, I hope to never be gone that long again! Dad burn 'puter problems! Party, Salty's house, Fri night 7:00, can't have it here unless ya'll want to fight all this race traffic, & boy is it LOTS of it, I love the race, but hate it when it comes to town, can't hardly get to work for all the people & that is just a shame! (NOT) LOL, off to the Dr. for me, see ya'll in a bit.

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8597: Hooray, Mavis is back, Charlotte is back, Mary Wiggens is back. Finally things are getting back to normal around here. If New Neighbor would come back now. And what about Helen and AngeFan and Dixie Belle? Huh, what about them?


August 22, 2002 - Msg 8598: Hey Y'all! Asa,grits are kinda hard to explain!Try 'em,you'll like 'em! (Then again,maybe you won't!) I still have plenty of Poptarts,so I'll leave some of those out in the morning for y'all non-grits eaters!
Been a long day.Gonna crawl under my rock real soon here!
Have a wonderful evening!
possum under a rock

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8599: Asa you mean to tell me that you aint never had grits? What are we going to do? All right I fix a big ol pot of grits for Friday night. Rough day at work. Boss and I had an altercation over a propane cylinder. Think I'll go to work for Hank Hill and sell propane and propane accessories. See yall later--Salty Dog

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8600: That tears it Salty. I'm coming to your town and look your boss up and punch him in the nose, yessiree, thats just what I'm gunno do, punch him right on the eyeglass rester. I'll learn him good to mess with you dear. Anyone else need my help? I say it's time we little people revolt to the evils of power hungry, empire building, Hitler wanna be's.



August 22, 2002 - Msg 8601: Hey everyone! I've been working on getting a computer that's just Mayberrieized! And now, here it is. Sitting here on the front porch is new to me, and I guess I'm just a new learning front porch sitter. Now, I need to check in later and read the response! It's a little hot out here this evening. I think I'll head on over to the filling station and get a bottle of pop!

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8602: The previous note is from Aunt Bee-e!

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8603: Welcome with your new computer Aunt Beee! Glad you got electonicized.
Mavis - your party is shaping up really great - I agree that Salty's should be the host. Asa remember to go easy on the Dippity Do!
It's been a long day and I need to fix some supper afor the youngin's start squalin' - just hate to hear squalin' -

Floyd, talked to a lady that went to Mayberry in the Midwest and she said you were right nice and friendly like. I'm glad you could act like somebody!


August 22, 2002 - Msg 8604: Good evening all, Asa, I'm with you, I'm revoltin' too! lol Hey Aunt Bee-e welcome to the porch. While you're on your way to the fillin' station pick me up a bottle of pop too. I got a hankerin' for some yahoo mountain dew! Salty, I know I would NEVER have an altercation with you over a propane cylinder. Seems to me two things could blow up! Hope your boss starts to "act like somebody". I think you should tell him that!
Mary Wiggins

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8605: By the way, I saw Barney last night trying to arrange the big meeting and I always feel so bad for him when his plans go awry. I know how it's going to turn out but I almost get teary-eyed, can you believe that!

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8606: Welcome back Charlotte, Mavis, Mary Wiggins, DeSS, and Aunt Bee-e! This'll be a swell party! MW, I also get a bit upset when Barney messes up big (and I mean BIG). I don't get tearry, but I have to walk away from the TV set for a bit.

Andy: "Barney, what are you doing? Barney, no... no Barn...hey Barn, No NO, hey... Barneyyyy. What did you do that for?"

~ Mrs. Wiley
Bringin my revoltin' attatude with me. (that don't sound right...)

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8607: Hey to the porch. Can anyone tell me how long it should take to defragment a computer. I been gone four long days waiting for mine to get the job done. It still wasn't finished, but I have things to do and messages to post. Did you know that New Foundland is also known as "The Rock"? Just one of the fascinating things we have learned in homeschool so far. Thought that it would be of interest to you folks. It is going really well with Little Opie.

Well all is going better on the job front. My hubby got his job back working for the grocery store. Let me tell you folks, never under estimate the value of good health care insurance.
Working for that donut place our insurance was gonna cost about a hundred dollars a week. At the grocery store he is a member of the United Food and Comercial Workers Union and our benefits didn't cost us a dad blame penny. We are so lucky and so blessed. Having bi-polar disorder is not inexpensive and my medicine was going to cost about two hundred dollars a month. With the grocery insurance, all our prescriptions are free. God is good and we are back in the union.

Asa, first you have never eaten a Krispy Kreme and now you say you have never had grits. What planet are you from? I will tell you what grits are as no one has enlightened you yet. It is ground corn, simular in texture to cream of wheat. Much better tasting though. Especially if you put a big old glob of butter and some salt and pepper on them. Also tasty with a fried egg on top. Pretty awesome with cheese melted in them too. I have eaten my fair share of grits in my time. But if you are born in Georgia, you have your first helping of grits about the time your first tooth comes in. Long before you take your first step. And now that I think of it I don't believe that I have ever had a bad batch of grits.
And speaking of grits, charlotte did you get the part in TKAM where she talked about the country kids for their current event bringing in an article from the Grit paper? Does everyone know what the Grit paper is? My grandmother used to read it all the time.

Romeena, sorry to hear about your computer terminal having a "terminal" illness. Tee Hee.
I just kill myself. I am so funny I ought to go down to the old folks home and loosen all the bolts on the wheel chairs.

Well I have found a new position. I am still working at the school. I am now going to be working in the kitchen. I am sure it will not be as enjoyable to me as the lunchroom was, as I will not have as much interaction with the kids, but I sure think it will be better on my nerves. And I won't have to keep taking my blue pills.

Well I will go for now. Love to the porch. It is so good to be back.
Love ya'll,
Fun Girl

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8608: Beulah says she'll make some monkey bread for the party, Salty.
It's been a long, hot day. I am ready for that first cool front! I went to the diner this mornin' for some coffee (they make the best coffe with real cream and sugar), and I had biscuits in those red, plastic baskets like ya get french fries in. They were some fine biscuits! Juanita had lots of gossip for me. She said she was in mt. Pilot last week and ran into none other than Thelma Lou and Thelma Lou admitted that she shoulda married Barney. The man she married turned out to be a gambler! Oh, well, too late now...Poor Barney. Well, hope you all have a great tomorrow. See ya on the porch---Boo

August 22, 2002 - Msg 8609: Fun Girl is back!! I sure was wonderin' when we would here from you again. Glad things are better for your family. That insurance can really eat your lunch! You know, bein' from the south you would think I would have eaten grits, but I never have. I used to watch my Daddy eat 'em and decided they looked gross, but after what you wrote, I think I'm gonna try them. Welcome back, Sugar....Goodnight All----Boo

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8610: OH man you poor people never eaten grits or ramps and now Krispy Kremes. Well I think I have decided whats on the menu for tomorrow nights party. That and the mulberry squeezins too of course. Asa you are more than welcome to punch my boss in the nose. Dont think the thought didn't run through my head too. Oh well only 4 hours tomorrow so it wont be too bad hopefully. Well we have Mavis and TOM back now if we could just find Rock... Off to bed now nothing like a good nights sleep to put things into perspective. Love ya all--Salty Dog

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8611: Howdy, friends. Don't know if I'm a late Thursday porchster, or a very early Friday porchster. Looks like it may be just you and me right now, Salty. I'm up late - worked a little four-hour shift this evening, 3-7pm, just to help them out of a bind. When you're used to 12-hr shifts, four hours is a breeze. Easy way to be a hero.
I declare, I can't imagine a good Southern boy that's never eaten grits. Fun Girl, there's a diner somewhere in Missouri that will be happy to serve you some bad grits. My dear husband and I found them one morning when we were traveling. Thin, runny, watery, no salt, just downright pit-ee-ful! Butter, salt and pepper were a waste on them. Still pathetic. Couldn't eat them, and I'll eat 'most anything! Grits should be thick enough to hold an edge after you pick up a spoonful, but not so thick as to be dry or sticky. Butter should be able to run in little rivers over them. Gravy should be able to do the same, rather like good mashed taters. Grits and gravy? MMMmmm! Grits and butter! Grits and grits! Yummy. Now if I could just find someplace to get ramps here in Texas - that's something I've never tried, but would love to.
Well, guess I'll unwrap the Plum from her roll of towels, and finish drying and combing her. She just had a bath, smells wonderful and will be gorgeous when finished. She'll prance around here like the Queen of Sheba now for a few days. She loves looking pretty, and believe me, she knows it when she does.
Have a great weekend, folks, and Sugarplum says hey!--Romeena

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8612: Mornin' Y'all! GRITS (and poptarts) for everyone! Asa gets second helpings-just don't put ketchup on your grits!Yuck! I hate to look at that mess-wonder why people do that? Cheese,yes,ketchup,no!
Hooray for you Fun Girl! Don't let 'em boot you outta the schoolhouse,if that's where you want to be.And keep the faith-those Lunch Ladies at my school always seem like they're having a good time back there amongst those pots and pans!
Are we gonna try the picture show again?I'm game if y'all are.I think Asa should drive this time.He'll sit in the front!
Have a great day y'all!
possum under a rock

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8613: Morning porch. Boy, yall are talkative today. Good to see everybody. Asa, be careful if you punch Homemakers boss in the nose. You never know, someone on the porch might be distant kin to her boss, and then they'd punch you in the nose, and then the nose-punches would start flying. It could be a real situation.
O.K. party tomorrow night, right? Or is it tonight? Anything else on the menu besides grits, ramps, Krispy Kremes, mulberry squeezins and poptarts? I guess I'll bring meatballs, I know how you all like my meatballs.
Fun Girl, it should'nt take 4 days to defragment your computer... Call the Man!
- Hazel

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8614: Hey yall dont worry about those meat balls I got several potted plants on my front porch! Morning Porch, got the party plans almost finished and NO I didn't invite my boss either! Later--Salty Dog

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8615: Morning Porch, I tell ya'll, up awful early for a day off here, but the better half just can't seem to stand it when I get to stay in bed while he has to go off to work, he always finds some reason to wake me up. This morning it was his work boots, he couldn't find them so instead of looking where he left them (on the front porch) he came & got me out of bed to find them. But boy let me wake him up on HIS day off..... Ro I have decided that I will have to send you & Asa some ramps just so you can try them. I'm off to clean this house (yuck) & then head to the pet shop my mom & sister own to pick up my new 'baby' a 12 week old African Grey! I am so excited!

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8616: I just don't know what the problem is about my computer and defragmenting. I guess I will have to just call the man. "Kinda hated to go that far."

I guess after all this time, we are still missing BDJ and Rock. Has Mrs. Asa been slinging that frying pan around again. Tell her to make a batch of corn bread and cook it up in that pan instead of slinging it around at folks.

Have a good un.
Fun Girl

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8617: Hey, Mavis! Sure would love to try those ramps. Reckon the postal service wouldn't spray them down or something if they got a whiff of them? Oh, and did you happen to hear me earlier, when I mentioned wanting to know how to color the Plum for the holidays? I know you told me once, but I've forgotten what you said, and I think I'd really like to do it this time. I know it won't hurt her, because you wouldn't be doing anything to people's furkids that would be harmful. I think it involved food coloring, as I remember.
You're getting a baby African Grey?? How exciting! They're so beautiful and so very smart. Getting it so young, you'll be the one it bonds with, and will have just a wonderful relationship with it. I love parrots, used to have a yellowhead about thirty years ago, but he got pneumonia and died. About broke my heart. You keep that Grey away from drastic temperature changes. We accidentally left a window open, a "blue norther" blew in while we were away, and poor Jack was caged, couldn't even go to another part of the house. I was just sick, cried for weeks. He was a sweet bird, very friendly and affectionate, and I let him down. I still feel terrible when I think about it.
Well, off I go. Got errands to run, and back to work tonight. Sugarplum says hey!--Romeena

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8618: Two questions: Who's Plum and what's a ramp??--Boo

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8619: Plum is Ro's cute furkid and our porch mascot and a ramp is something Salty claims you can digest. That one remains to be seen.


August 23, 2002 - Msg 8620: HEY!!! How is everyone? I'm okay. First week of the fall Semester is now officially over! I've missed being able to check in every day but I'll do my best.

Guywatch '02 Update: Everyone remember Mason? Weeeelllll ....he did a number on ole Dixie's heart the past few days. I got it baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. I'm workin' on it;-) Still praying about it....ya'll pray for me too! I may have some more good news to tell next week.........hopefully!

Classes are okay. How is everyone been? Good I hope.

Prayers for those who need them and everyone be careful.

A tired,

Miss Dixie Belle Edwards

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8621: Ro I plan to take real good care of the little grey baby, (don't have a name yet) don't know if it is a boy or a girl. As for coloring Plum I'll email ya with the directions. Boo ramps are like onions, only better & ALOT stronger. I'll post the site you can check them out at as soon as I find it again. Asa we know YOU can digest them, you will eat anything! teehee Miss DB keep up that school work kiddo, wish I had done that when I had the chance, would give anything to go back & become a vet. Off to play with the baby.

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8622: ok here is the address to the ramp festival in my neck of the woods, been so long since I posted a 'clicky-thing' I'm not even gonna try it afraid to have to get down there with the spiders & fix the porch! Ya'll will just have to type it in the address bar or maybe Floyd or someone will make it a link. Enjoy!

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8623: Good evening neighbors. . .well it was a joyous day at school. . .we had our annual Friday Feast day for the month. .mmmgood food (plenty of chocolate - the next best thing to valium in a teacher's lounge!) Our new principal is a dream so far - she's treating everyone fair and she is very supportive of the special ed. dept (what a change!!!). Our new severe profound teacher is from the Honduras and she is as sweet as can be. Very good with the kids and we are all learning Spanish (a little at a time!) And on top of it all - it was PAYDAY - although the contract isn't settled we are all being very patient and doing our jobs so noone can say that we do not think that Children come first.

It is good to see Mavis back on the porch - now an APB on Rock and BDJ. . .I bet they have taken an extended stay at the lake. . .boys will be boys.

Take care ya'll - talk to you soon!


August 23, 2002 - Msg 8624: Just wanted to leave a bottle of Pepto Bismol on the porch for Asa.What with us introducing him to new foods such as grits,Krispy Kremes,ramps and all!
What about the picture show? We going? Who's driving?
Good Night All!
possum under a rock

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8625: Salty will drive so she'll sit in the front, possum you sit next to Salty so you sit in the front, I'll sit in the back with homemaker since neither one of us is driving, & Asa will get the window seat as long as he don't go hangin his head out the winder!

August 23, 2002 - Msg 8626: Mavis girl you got us all figured out. But now we must warn ya a night out with Asa can turn catastrophic in a minute. He does know how to open a car door though. Interesting day at work today, my bosses ( God love them) had rearanged my schedule but forgot to tell ME. So yesterday I was 2 hours early and today I was too hours late! And it was still my fault. Dont that just tear it? All I done was show up. Asa has been quiet since the party. Yall reckon he drunk too much of them mullberry squeezins? Its just a good thing him and Romeena aint hanging Christmas lights. Well I am off here for a little while got to get back up at 6 in the morning to go to work. If they aint messed up the work schedule again that is! Sheesh nite porch--Salty Dog

August 24, 2002 - Msg 8627: Mornin' Y'all! Salty,I think homemaker & Mavis can handle Asa (y'all bring your frying pans)! Boo,you wanna go to the picture show again? I'll tell Salty to swing by your place & pick you up.Did anybody check to see if TKAM is playing over in Mt.Pilot? I'm getting tired of those Cary Grant pictures and the Glen Fords get Asa all charged up.Guess we'll find out when we get there.
Ok,well I'm doing Mama Possum's laundry today so I'd best go for now. See y'all later!
possum under a rock

August 24, 2002 - Msg 8628: Mornin Porch! FG, when you defrag, be sure all other programs are OFF, like screen saver, internet connettion, etc. Could take up to 6 hrs, if it's badly defraged.

Hey to everybody!
~ Mrs. Wiley

G.R.I.T.S. - Girls Raised In The South

August 24, 2002 - Msg 8629: Hey Possum, ya'll pick me up on the way to Mt. Pilot. I'll try it again if you think the car will get us there. I don't wanna get stranded again! Beulah might hit ME with a skillet if I come home that late again.--Boo

August 24, 2002 - Msg 8630: I think it is a Jimmy Stewart movie this weekend - probably "Harvey"


August 24, 2002 - Msg 8631: Morning Porch! Guess there was too much excitement last night for anybody to post much this morning. I might not be around tonight, the big Sharpie 500 in my own little town of Bristol is running tonight & since I can't seem to get no tickets guess I have to rely on TNT to watch it from my couch. The Redskins are playing Tampa Bay tonight to, so I'll be trying to keep up with both, good thing we got 2 tv's only problem is one is upstairs & the other is downstairs. Still no name for the baby Grey yet, ya'll want to help me? The lady that hatched him says she thinks he is a boy.
btw remember these birds live upwards to 60 years so he has to have a good name.

August 24, 2002 - Msg 8632: Hey Ro not sure what the problem with my email is, everyone else seems to be getting it ok, I changed the settings to plain text in the options tho, we'll see.

August 24, 2002 - Msg 8633: Afternoon Y'all! Sorry you can't go to the picture show with us tonight Mavis.Boo,you'll sit in the back with homemaker and Asa.Jimmy Stewart movie,you say? I was kinda hoping for a comedy.I need some laughs after finding out some rather disturbing news about my "grandfather figure" today.There's this sweet little old man in my town who's about 86 years old,snaggle toothed and stooped over who I've befriended over the past few years.He always has a big smile and a wave for me whenever I see him driving through town-we exchange pleasantries in the grocery store,etc. Well,turns out that Mr Barney (yep,that's his name) is a skirt chaser! Invites ladies to his house to watch a certain kinds of movies (that's for the censor!) with him! My Grandfather Figure! And to top it off,his latest conquest beat him up and took his money.Part of me feels bad for him,part of me is disgusted by him.Goes to show you never can tell.It's so hard to fathom! I wish y'all could see this little old man! I'll never look at him as my grandfather figure again,that's for sure.
No suggestions on naming your bird,Mavis.Just don't call him "Mr.Barney"!
See y'all at the picture show!
possum under a rock

August 24, 2002 - Msg 8634: Morning Porch. Great saturday here in the rocky mountains. Wish you all were here with me.
Can't wait to go out to the show again tonight. We be gettin quite a group, maybe we can get a discount. Wish yoy could come Mavis. We was goona get root beer floats afterwards. You know what root beer does to you. Can't come up with a good name for yer bird though. I'll study on it for a spell.
Boy Possum, I'm with you about that grandfather figure. Don't know to be mad at him or sad at him or what. Maybe he best cut down on them oysters in his diet.


August 24, 2002 - Msg 8635: Boy, I figured by the time I got to be 86, I wouldn't care about such things! It's hard to care now! I can't wait to go to the picture show. Jimmy Stewart is my favorite. I say name the bird "George".--Boo

August 24, 2002 - Msg 8636: Hey Mavis - thought I'd let you know that I'm a Salsa Mamamia tonite. Bought about 10 pounds of the red things to get started on them Christmas gifts. Promised one girl a quart all to herself - she's a sweet thing and her mama has adopted my boys - so now Aunt Bonni can do no wrong.
Well - time to go be hot tomato! (sorry that I can't go to the picture show - shucks, maybe next week!)


August 24, 2002 - Msg 8637: Hey, did you all leave without me? I guess I shoulda let you know I wanted to go! Ahhh, shucks, I plum missed out on the fun. Well, I hope you all have a great time, are you going to see "Rear Window"? I just loved that one! Mavis, how about naming your grey GAP, (Grey African Parrot). Talk to you soon.
Mary W.

August 24, 2002 - Msg 8638: Well once again, I am here to say how much the Lord has blessed this family. My hubby went back to work on Friday morning. Then as he was leaving the building, his boss asks if she could talk to him. She said there is a head stock clerk position coming up and she would like him to have it. Well folks, this is the first day back after they let him go and he has his grievance and they hire him back. The promotion is going to bump his pay up $4.00 an hour. Well now, I am just gonna go into work and tell the kitchen supervisor that I don't reckon that I will be working for her after all. I have prayed over this situation and it seems that God has answered me. Hey, he don't have to get a plane and skywrite in the air for me go get the point. Needless to say I feel so blessed! The other situation still needs our prayers, but I am just gonna believe cause God sure did a bang up job on this situation. Oh, and please pray for my step-dad Bill. He went to the doctor yesterday and had his 50,000 mile check up and they did a stress test and and EKG. Well the doctor has scheduled a cardiac catherization on Monday morning at 8:00 am. He has also said that it is possible that if conditions are bad inside that they may just have to do surgery right then and there. We are all very worried. My mom and
Bill have been married for 21 years and he has truly been like a father to us. Please remember all of us in your prayers.

If I had a male pet, I think I would name him Ole' Tim Johnson. He was the only pet mentioned in TKAM. But I must say that I would be really be tempted to name it Mrs. Henry Lafayette DuBose if it was a girl. What a mouthful.

Gonna go and have some sassafrass tea. I surely do love that stuff.
Fun Girl

August 24, 2002 - Msg 8639: Mary,be GLAD you didn't go to the picture show with us tonight! Y'all won't believe what happened THIS time...We stopped by to pick up homemaker and Asa mistakenly put one of her goats in the vehicle instead of her! Now homemaker,I am not by any means comparing you to a goat,because you are quite a lovely lady(remember I saw you at Cracker Barrel on my birthday?)but when Asa has had too much of those mulberry squeezins he just don't know the difference between a goat and a fine woman like our homemaker.Well they're working on the road right out back of the picture show and that dang goat ate some of the explosives the work crew had left on the side of the road.That picture show man said we was a danger to his establishment and barred us from going in to see the picture show!Thank goodness Asa had his harmonica with him-we coaxed the goat back in the truck and drove(very carefully) back to Mayberry.Hope Asa didn't use up all of the Pepto Bismol I left him up here on the porch a while back-got the feeling homemaker is gonna need it for her goat!
possum under a rock

August 24, 2002 - Msg 8640: hi all will thing are bad here for this pass week my mother have bin in the hosp becaues her suge was way up about 800 and now the dr. is saiding that the life loge is not acting right the blood is not right and cloro is bad too and more two.
so the dr, saod if thing did not go right that may have to do sur on her heart to hope the blood to the long. so will you all say a little prayer for her.
becaues she may list her grandson becaues of it.

August 25, 2002 - Msg 8641: Morning Porch pals. Good Sabbath to you all.
Tom, I am sorry to hear about your Mother, and you and her are both in my prayers. I hope she gets better soon buddy.
Now about last night, I knew that wasn't you homemaker cause I didn't think you could grow a goatee like that. I don't know what I was thinking though. Them squeezings Possum gave me were a tad on the hard side and I never drink, so it didn't take much to make me loose my senses. What a mess I have made of my life! Never have heard from Salty since then, hope she made it home safe. Last I saw of her she was riding a cow.
Anyway, hope all is well for everyone. Mavis, my ears are in desperate need of you know what. Are you available? BTW, Them skins could make some waves this year. Spurrier seems to know his stuff.


August 25, 2002 - Msg 8642: Good Sabbath Porch! Prayers for Tom and his Mom! I have never heard of "sugar blood content" going up to 800 - she's lucky to still be alive! Prayers for FunGirl's step-dad and the 'ol work situation. Keep praying about that.

Gee, you guys keep trying to see a movie together, and what do you get? HEARTACHE, nothin' but heartache (and a loaded goat!). Mavis, how about "Homer" or "Mr. Bill" or "Briscoe"? Wasn't Briscoe Darling kinda 'grey'?

~ Mrs. Wiley

August 25, 2002 - Msg 8643: Mrs. Wiley, I think Briscoe is the perfect name for the bird!! Now, I ain't never goin' to the movies with that crazy bunch again! It was dark and I turned to say "good evenin'" to homemeaker and nearly kissed a goat! That's it. I ain't tryin' again.--Boo

August 25, 2002 - Msg 8644: I have just spend two and a half hours catching up reading the archives from when I was gone. I sure missed some fun outings to picture shows! Crazy Asa, Possum, Boo, and Salty! Enjoyed reading all your talk of the old shows. I was especially fond of Davy Jones and David Cassidy myself. (I was a boy crazy one from age 5 on!) I also loved the talk about Lydia. She was one of my favorites too! Romeena, you spoke of going to the West End. I believe I've been there. Is there a Spaghetti Factory or something? A steakhouse? Lots of shops? I used to go there when I was in Dallas for Mary Kay conventions years back. Also Romeena, when you was talkin' about your company (I think it was you) sayin' "it's none of my business" made me think of the housekeeper on the old Parent Trap with Hayley Mills and Brian Keith. Ya'll seen that? Enjoyed your prayer on 8/12 Mary Wiggins. Many prayers for Fun Girl's job situation. And yes, I got the part in TKAM about the Grit. My grandma used to get it too. But now I can't really recall what it was. Was it real info like in the Capper's Weekly or was it more sensational like Inquirer? Does it still exist? Hey to Dixie Belle. Keep us posted on Guywatch 02! Now homemaker, in regard to your message 8480: Don't go turnin' to gamblin'! Prayers for your teaching situation. Salty, sorry I missed comin' over for grits, ramps,and Krispy Kremes. Spoken like a true northerner I've never had any of them things neither! Sorry to ramble. Missed you all terribly!
Charlotte Tucker