December 07, 2003 - Msg 17476: well top of the morning to the porch-- well it's 3am got country fried ham, bacon ,sausage, omlets of every kind, flapjacks, home made biscutsand sausage gravy, coffee,tea,milk. where is everyone? do i have to go up on the roof and arouse such a clater? ho,ho. hey to spooky benson== be carefull that barney doesn't give you any of aunt bea's pickles. pull up a chair on the porch and stay awile when you can. asa== good one on the tv , sure had atime back then.i was looking for those kind of memories from everone, just makes you all aglow thinking about them. remember when listening to a radio you had to hook your car battery up? well i was a little fellow and the men would gather at dad's and listen to the barn dance and a radio show. well an uncle big jolly felow talked dad into squezzing one more show out dad said i don;t think i have enough charge and still start the car in the morning, you can quess the rest my uncle prevailed but not the car. spot== where are you still worn out? well bring out one of my christmas special edition pipes , with the good smelling tobaco and wait on you all to stop by for breakfast and a story. pipeman

December 07, 2003 - Msg 17477: fun girl== i think you stumped the porch on trivia, who was the 80's dad who collected tin foil? new one== on the radio show gunsmoke who played doc adams? pipeman

December 07, 2003 - Msg 17478: Hello all! Fun Girl, I would be happy to cut a rug with you. Here is, "Dance Til Your Stockins Are Hot and Raveling". An' "Oh Christmas Tree". Here we go.

Briscoe Darling Jr.

December 07, 2003 - Msg 17479: If you are a fan of the Cosby Show, you will know that it was Heathcliff Huxtable. On a show where Olivia has to make a book about a grown up, he tells her all kinds of made up stories, like he invented RECESS. LOL Then finally when his father drives over to help the kids with the truth, Cliff tells the story about how during the war they had to recycle tin foil and he had rolled it into a ball and it was so huge that the newspaper came and took his picture with the tin foil ball. The kids look at the Grandpa to make sure Cliff is telling the truth and he nods and smiles. Quite a cute show.

BDJ, I got may dancing shoes on and I'm ready to go. And can ya play "Almost Home" during a slow one. That un makes me cry.

fun girl

December 07, 2003 - Msg 17480: As far as the Christmas memories goes, I remember one year, my mom and dad had gone to way yonder too much trouble on our Christmas. There were three of us girls and the whole living room was full of toys. After we opened presents, which took a long time, we sat down for breakfast and during the blessing, Mom heard me crying. Afterwards she asked me why I was crying. I said, "I don't know what to play with first." Among the things we got were the little aluminum fridge, stove and sink, (anyone remember those) and a HUGE set of dishes. Even had little plastic silverware and beautiful goblets and everything. I can't really remember all of the things we got but the room was full. I guess it was the first time they could enjoy buying for all three of us. Bonny was a year and four months old, Lisa two years and seven months and I was four and a half. Now days, Mike and I buy Kyle one big gift and stuff a stocking. My family is so large and they all buy the kids gifts, so we know he will have more than enough.

Then, my junior year in high school, my mom had lots of presents wrapped and she and my sisters went out to get some last minute stuff and left me home alone. I have always been curious and hate to be in suspense, so I carefully unwrapped my gifts and checked them out and then rewrapped them. Dirty me, dirty me, I'm disgusted with myself! My favorite gift that year was a large print Bible I had been asking for.

Anyone else remember getting: an easy bake oven, your first camera, the doll that had a lever in the back of the neck and when you pulled it the face would turn and it had a crying face a laughing face and a sleeping face, a crazy little thing called a skipsydoodle. It was the right size for a small child to use as a teeter totter. It was made of blue plastic. I have talked to many people but remember these. It made an awesome sled. You could lay down on it and it was one speedy ride.

Ah, memories!
fun girl

December 07, 2003 - Msg 17481: Kinda ironic that I would be so decietful as to open all my gifts and then rewrap them and then be so glad to get a Bible, don't you think.

tee hee
fun girl

December 07, 2003 - Msg 17482: fun girl== i think we all did the sneak and peak, isn[t it wonderfull the lord helps those who help themselves? i think i meant forgive us, i always get those two mixed up/i did the same until i was in my 30's then i repented because it was to much work trying to get them rewrapped before star trek caught me. pipeman

December 07, 2003 - Msg 17483: December 7th, 1941 7:55 A.M. Hawaii.
A day that will live in infamy!
May we always remember this day, and remember those who served, and those who serve today.
Freedom has never been free, nor will it ever be free.


December 07, 2003 - Msg 17484: Right on Asa. Hi all. Hope all is well with everyone.- Jeb.

December 07, 2003 - Msg 17485: Okay all. Sorry I have been away. Been so busy lately. With the holidays and being made moderator at's forum..*whew* time to take a break.

pipeman>>I am really leaning toward moving to Decatur, IL. Did you say that my step brother could hook me up with a job? hehe I went to the city site and really liked it. Had a good gut feeling about know me and my gut feelings.

Spot>>I have missed you my 'dawg'! hehe Sorry to be leaving the southern end of the porch soon...but the south leaves much to be desired when off the porch.

~*~mayberry girl~*~

December 07, 2003 - Msg 17486: JOKE TIME: Do Cats Go To Heaven?

A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask."

The cats says, "Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors."

God says, "Say no more." And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat. The mice said, "All our lives we've had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn't have to run anymore."

God says, "Say no more." And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.

About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, "How are you doing? Are you happy here?"

The cat yawns and stretches and says, "Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!"

~*~mayberry girl~*~

December 07, 2003 - Msg 17487: asa== amen being a war veteran i really feel sorry for the troops, under equiped and trained for our vietnam type of garella war fare. we need to pray for aa of them. mayberry girl== a place never leaves your heart no matter where you travel but the porch keeps you in touch. spot== to much work and parying with us? we miss you. pipeman

December 07, 2003 - Msg 17488: Hope Ro and Boo had a great time this weekend. Maybe we ought to do the same thing here in the midwest section of the porch. Maybe we ought to all meet up somewhere.

Later ya'll.
fun girl

December 08, 2003 - Msg 17489: Hi everyone! I am back home and had a very nice weekend, thanks. I got to meet Romeena and Sugarplum, Ro's 2 beautiful daughters and one of her grandsons! It was great. Let me tell you Ro is every bit as wonderful in person as on the porch. I only wish we could have spent more time together. We did get to visit and went to a concert in which one of her daughters sang and she has a great voice. We really enjoyed it. We will have to meet again in Fredricksburg, maybe at the same time next year. Oh, and Sugarplum really does love baby carrots. I saw it with my own eyes! She is a precious little dog, so sweet.

My family and I stayed in an old restored farmhouse built in 1880 and it was beautiful. The only problem was I almost froze to death! Ya'll know how thin my blood is from living down here on the water. It got so cold Friday night I just couldn't get warm. I think I am going to stop complaining about how we don't get any cold weather down here. I found out this weekend that I am a wimp.

Well, think I will hit the sack. I'm worn out!


December 08, 2003 - Msg 17490: Funny Christmas memory of Dad kicking the TV, Asa. Hey Ro and Boo, glad you two got hooked up. I was worried there for a minute when Ro posted looking for Boo's number. Yea, Fun Girl, you and me, we got taste for the cuties. As Crocodile Dundee would say, "We be mates!" Have you seen Prancer? If you like Sam, you've surely seen it. Loved your twelve days of Christmas! I also agree with someone's idea that Helen had PMS. That's a good one. I always like the scene when she's a teacher and she says "And then you! You fixed it! ...Just stay out of my business!" and huffs out the door. WheW! Better hit the hay. It's late and all kinds of bugs are flying around our area. My daughter was sick this weekend. Don't want to get my defenses down from lack of sleep! Love to all porchsters! Hey to Pipeman and Spot, Hazel, mayberry girl, Mrs. Wiley, Mary Wiggins, Mavis, Ro, Boo, Fun Girl, Possum, Briscoe, Dež, and everybody else!
Charlotte Tucker

Pipeman, Go Cubs!

December 08, 2003 - Msg 17491: good morning porch=== asa== i have been to hawaii's memorials for dec 7 always sends chills up me for i always think of not only the loss of life but how easy christmas day or other holidays history might repeat itself. my prayers are for world peace. spot, miss you and several others, sure hope sugarplum, ro, and boo had a great time and made it home safley. busy day so i'll say happy trails to one and all. mayberry girl star trek and i loved you elephant joke you posted, will have to shareit at chruch. pipeman

December 08, 2003 - Msg 17492: Good morning all!! Hope everyone is doing fine. Where is Spot? Don't tell me his is lost? Did he runaway? Do we need to send out a search party? **yells** Spooootttt!!!

~*~mayberry girl~*~

December 08, 2003 - Msg 17493: Just thought I would share some old Cherokee wisdom with the porch.

An elder Cherokee man was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me...It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other stands for joy peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too." They thought about it for a minute, and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" The old Cherokee simply replied......"The one you feed."

Ahhh...let those with ears, hear. Myself included.

~*~mayberry girl~*~

December 08, 2003 - Msg 17494: Good morning everyone - got the tree decorated (partially) yesterday. It is about 10-11 feet tall. Just a little thing! LOL
Good to see all the chatter on the porch.
Been nursing a sick doe all weekend - I never thought I would do some of the things that I am doing now. Giving shots, drenching a goat with electrolytes, etc.
And I have a sick child too - no fever but a nasty cough with very little congestion. So - I have been giving him OTC stuff for his cough. Helps a little -
Take care everyone - who wants to help make Christmas treats this weekend? Some Mexican Weddingcakes, Peanut Butter Blossoms, Puppychow, all to fill giftbaskets for teachers. . .and friends. I decided on edible gifts - we all have enough stuff to dust! Asa - the salsa is on its way out to you - just like last years! LOL


December 08, 2003 - Msg 17495: CT-Haven't seen Prancer, but I will check it out now. He sure is a purty man. I love the movie with Cher and Sam and the son named Rocky. I just can not think of the name right now. Tear jerker!

Later friends,
fun girl

I was reading the posts from last year around the time of my surgery. That was a rough time, but God is good. Thank you all for your prayers and support.

December 08, 2003 - Msg 17496: Fun Girl - are you talking about "Mask?" I think that was the name of it with the boy who had a disfigured face? Prancer is a great movie and so is Prancer Returns (?)(I am not very good with names anymore - I tell my kids I have "Old Timers" disease - actually I think it is too much over multi-tasking! LOL)
Talking about Sam - I loved him in Roadhouse and Mr. Swayze wasn't too bad too look at either!



December 08, 2003 - Msg 17497: Hey Porchsters, I'm back. Wife and I went away for the weekend. Rented the old ABC miniseries
3 tape set of Jesus of Nazareth. Watched the first part on the birth of Jesus. I always liked that one, very realistically done, without much artistic licence. Of course, it's the greatest
story ever told!
Who is MPO?
Homemaker, wasnt the movie "Holiday Inn" that had
white Christmas.
Fun Girl, the 12 days of Christmas were GREAT!
My sister got a "Chatty Cathy" one year in the '60s, where you pulled ther string from the back of the neck. My brother and i "sabotaged" it
because we were going batty from the chatter. haha
Funny memory.
hey pipeman, ever try the cherry blend?
you and Asa's tube tester stories Had me rolling. We got a TVset in 1956, and from 57 til
83 the back was NEVER put back on it!!! (hehe)
We would run to the drug store with our brown sack full of tubes, and as it usually went, the
one tube that we needed wasnt in stock! So no Howdy Doody or The Highway Patrol with Broderick Crawford for a few days.
Has anyone else ever noticed that floyd the barber plays a state trooper in episode 2, the manhunt?
Hope all of you are fine.
Anyone heard from county nurse?
The lit up cactus sure looks neat here on the west end. Any westenders want to get together?
Mr. Darlin's Cuz

December 08, 2003 - Msg 17498: Oops, also forgot to say thanks for the Dec. 7
veterans' remembrance. I know we try to keep it lite, but I got me 2 relatives in the gulf this season. Prayers much appreciated. Thanx

December 08, 2003 - Msg 17499: MPO stands for Milton P. Oliver. He's a feller that's posted here for a good long time. The name is obviously a spoof on the three middle names that were given for Barney in TAGS. Just one of the contradictions from the show. I think you're wrong about Floyd being in episode 2, MDC. Floyds first appearance wasn't until episode 10. Although he was played by a different actor (Walter Baldwin).
- Hazel

"Let old Barn take you to the land of Rhythm."

December 08, 2003 - Msg 17500: Thanks for the info Hazel. I think all I ever heard Barney say was "Bernard P. Fyfe."
Was Milton the one in his yearbook?
Mr Darlin's Cuz

December 08, 2003 - Msg 17501: charlotte tucker== i agree as soon as ro posted about boo's number i got on and suggested no one do it. for security reasons, everyone on the porch would be ok but somebody surfing i'd be afraid of it. thanks for cubs go in 2004. fun girl== our chapter is setting up in 2004 sept. would love to have the middle porch set up with us of course everyone is invited, more later. boo== sounds like you and ro had a blast. burr- burr.glad you all made it home alright. the porch has been awfuly dead, guess everyone had to much weekend. mayberry girl === got home at 4pm, totaly exchasted. pipeman

December 08, 2003 - Msg 17502: Yahoo, Ro and Boo got connected. That sounds like you both had a great time. Wish we all could have been there. Wouldn't that be a blast if we could all hook up somewhere, someday? I wonder if Floyd would pay for us to meet? I hear he's got money. You don't cut hair for 25 years without learning something about love, and making lots of money to boot.


December 08, 2003 - Msg 17503: Hey to the porch - For the love of Mike, DO IT. Hook up somewhere, have a great time, just DO IT! Haha, actually some of us who started porch-sittin' back in '96 and '97 started getting together back then and now the highlight of any TAGS event we attend is the time we get to spend with our Mayberry family, most of whom we met on the porch and got to know better at Sarah's. My wife and I met Emma and Flora for supper and chit-chattin' while we were on vacation in the summer of '97, several of them got together for Mayberry Days in '97 and then we spent a weekend with a GREAT group of porchsters in Nashville in March of '98 and we wouldn't take a dollar and a quarter for any of 'em. They are like family and we look forward to the one or two times a year we get to visit with any of them. So, y'all can do it too. You just have to do it.
I hope ever'body has a good view of that beautiful moon tonight. From our end of the porch it looks awesome.

Milton P. Oliver, Mayberry Giants: Hit One for the Ol' Goober chapter of TAGSRWC
"Hey" to Fred and jennie, Emma, Opie, the Foley's, David and Linda, the Shwumps, Emmett and Martha, Andelina, Idelle and Gilly, Flora, and all the rest of 'the family'!

December 08, 2003 - Msg 17504: LOL@Asa! I'll go along with getting money from Floyd for meeting everybody! How much ya reckon he'll pay us?
The moon is quite lovely on the South end of the porch,Milton. Can't recall where you're sitting on the porch but glad you're seeing it. Everybody go out and look at the moon.I imagine ole' Spot will do some howling tonight!
Well I'm off to watch Leave It To Beaver & wrap Christmas gifts.Y'all have a great evening!
P.S. Liked that Cherokee story,Mayberry Girl-thanks for sharing.
possum under a rock

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17505: Wooohoo! I met Boo and Mr. Boo, and the two little Boo-lings. What lovely people! Boo is a sweetheart, just like she is here on the porch, and her hubby is a very fine man, obviously has a gentle heart, and I liked him very much. The Plum plopped her little self down beside him and rested her head on his lap, so guess he's okay! Their son is a fine, polite, very sweet little boy, and Baby Girl is adorable, with an impish smile and eyes that dance with mischief. We had a wonderful time. We didn't get to spend as much time together as I'd have liked, as I had some other commitments, but I'm sure we'll get together again.

Pipeman, you're absolutely right about posting that number. What was I thinking??? Mayberry girl, I loved your story about the two wolves. So very true. So often we're careful about what our children hear and watch, but we forget that we're impressionable too, whether we realize it or not.

Favorite Christmas stories? I've told this before on the porch, I think, but some of you are new and might enjoy it. A lot of Christmasses ago, when our oldest son was almost four, we had scrimped and saved and bought him a tricycle for Christmas. On Christmas Eve, we had been to our family's traditional gathering, and returned home very late, with two very sleepy children. We put them in bed, and my husband began to assemble the little tricycle so Santa could place it under our tree. To our horror, one rear wheel was missing from the carton. It simply wasn't there. At about 2 a.m. on Christmas morning, this wasn't a good situation. This was in the early 60's, and stores simply didn't stay open all night anytime, let alone on Christmas.
We had bought the trike from FedMart in San Antonio, which was the forerunner of all the "Marts" of today. My husband insisted that I call the store. I did. No answer. Call again, he said. I did, and no answer. Call once more, he insisted. I did, let it ring about twenty times and just before I hung up, a slightly annoyed man answered. It was the night watchman. I explained the situation, and to my astonishment, the man said to have my husband come to the store, to the back door, and bring along the wheel that we had.
He did, the man met him at the back door and let him actually come into the store and match the wheel to the tricycles on display, removed a matching wheel and gave it to him. My triumphant husband returned home with the wheel, and a very happy little boy spent Christmas Day learning to ride his new tricycle. That man at the store took a big risk that night, but the spirit of Christmas prevailed, and left a memory in my heart that has lasted for forty years.

Sugarplum says hey! --Romeena

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17506: Don't you just love Tvland, possum?(if that is where you are watching LITB)
What would we do without Tvland, and Nick at Nite?! I don't think cable would be worth having if not for those channels.

Supposed to snow here tomorrow. I kind of hope it does. I'm not used to seeing green in December.
Have a nice night everyone.
Goodnight Mayberry.
-Sterling Holobyte

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17507: Hey Romeena, what are you doing up so late? Or maybe where you are it is earlier.
That was a nice story! I wonder if a night watchman would do the same thing today.
I'd like to think they would.
-Sterling Holobyte

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17508: good morning porch sitters, some of us probably have frost on our rutabaker's if were sitting on our porch this morning. mayberry girl== great story, just loved it. i guess we better put spot at the top of our prayers, it's not like him to be gone so long without saying hello. RO & SUGARPLUM== i loved your story, we don't take the time much anymore to realize the impact one act of kindness has. i wasn't being critical of you when i talked about the phone number,in today's world when we have a loved one overdue all we want is 911 and them safe.i will answer more later. meanwhile; may the good lord smile on the porch everywhere. pipeman

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17509: possum and asa=== we could all pick out one night next spring and set a time and sit for one hour relaxing and thinking about each other and mayberry. ahh, the stories we could tell when we went inside. as far as floyd paying for all of us, he is our beloved prince however him and barney just a might bit tight with the coins, ha, pipeman

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17510: Hi all,
Happy 16th day before Christmas. Hadn't been in for awhile. Busy making presents for Christmas in the shop.
Have a wonderful day.
Ky moonshiner

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17511: sterling holobyte== since homemaker is giving only edible gifts(great idea) what should we ask for? homemaker== i pray you are feeling better and back fiesty as ever very soon/ mr darlin's cuz=== i send my prayers for all the combat vetertans currently serving, as any combat vet will tell you that is the lonliest christmas you ever had. letters and small packages of the simplest things mean so much, cause it's hard to write because you don't want to give a blow by blow of your day,you haven't seen any andy griffith lately. i started smoking middleton cherry pipe tobacco, i have been spoiled now i customise, a light blend with a hint of woodsy campfire. let's send out the amber alert for spot (the missing) dog and others who have been off awhile. pipeman

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17512: mdc== i'll bet your porch has some great pipe tobacco, i'll take a tin. remember i was good for two days this year that's why i only asked for two packs. ha. pipeman

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17513: Hey to all! Sterling, I agree with you about TVLand and Nick at Nite. Do you like westerns? We do --Hallmark channel is great for them. Saturdays feature Big Valley, Bonanza, Rifleman, High Chaparel (sp??), Virginian.
Charlotte Tucker

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17514: Thank you for those very kind words about my family, Ro! You are the Cats!

Something I didn't tell everyone on the porch is that Ro reminds me very much of a dear Aunt who passed away 3 years ago. When my husband and I first met Ro we looked at each other and we both knew who she reminded us of. Not just her looks were similar but her voice, so immediately I felt a connection. My Aunt Della was a wonderful woman and so is our Ro.

Well, now that I am back, there is laundry and housework AND I have to make 4 dozen cookies for a cookie exchange party tommorow morning. Think I will make the Neiman-Marcus Cookies again.

I, like Ro, shared my very favorite Christmas story last year. I might share it again later or I will be trying to think of another favorite Christmas story. Have a great day!


December 09, 2003 - Msg 17515: Oh, and Milton P. Oliver, I have been thinking more and more about making it out to Mayberry Days soon but I think I will wait until Baby Girl is a bit older. It is so hard to keep up with her now! When she gets older maybe I will head up to Dallas, pick up Romeena, and head for Mayberry Days. It sure would be fun to get everyone together. Maybe someday soon.


December 09, 2003 - Msg 17516: Hey Pipeman, why don't you ask for some pickles. I hear Aunt Bee has a nice recipe.;)
Charlotte, I do like westerns, but mainly western movies(any CLint Eastwood movie comes to mind). As for tv westerns, I guess I like it more MID-western(ala, Little House On The Prairie) and Hallmark is good for that too! You're right though, I shouldn't have left out Hallmark in my praise of those classic show channels. Hallmark has some good shows on. Besides LHOTP, I also watch M*A*S*H on there, digitally mastered and uncut! I love seeing all those scenes that they usually cut out for commercials. I wish Hallmark would put on TAGS uncut. Maybe someday they will.
They used to show ALF on Hallmark, which I also used to love to watch. Not as old and classic as other shows but that furry alien still was funny!
-Sterling Holobyte

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17517: Romeena, that night watchman sounds as nice as Asa! Neat story.
My story is from the late 60s. I was in a Walgreens just before their 7 pm closing time on Christmas Eve, scrambling for some last minute gifts for my nieces and nephews. (Before I was maried) All of a sudden the manager got up on one of those center display counters and says he is going to start auctioning off all the 'big' toys from the toy aisle! Many toys went for as little as 1 dollar! If that was the only bid he got, it was yours for a dollar. Well, needless to say,
I had quite a catch for my 20 dollars, and ended up giving a lot of them away before I even got home. Everyone there got caught up in the spirit.
It was quite an evening watching that manager lift up those toys and to hear a few bids. There were no problems at all throughout the whole thing. It was quite a deal.
How 'bout a "porch poll" on favorite episodes?
Mine would be "Man in a Hurry"
Mr D's Cuz
Spot, the missing dog of the porch, where are you?

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17518: Hey to the porch - Boo, I hope you get a chance to go to Mayberry Days and I don't blame you one bit for waiting. A lot of folks bring small children but it has gotten so big and crowded now that I can't imagine trying to do it with child in tow. If we're ever going through Texas, we'll be sure to let y'all know. I'm sure we'd enjoy sharing a meal ("a little sweet tea and spicy talk") with you and yours (and of COURSE Sweet Romeena too!) if we ever get the chance. We were in College Station and San Antonio back in '90 or so and in the D/FW area for a few days in '96 but those were our only trips to Texas.

"Oh this ain't a 'to show' trip, it's got a purpose" - B. Darling

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17519: haven't heard from spot since the decorating party last weekend must have worn him out. boo== save a few dozen of each kind of cookie, you know how we loves our sweets. charlotte tucker--there is a new site called tv it's similar to our bullitin board but if enough porch folks started to visit we could show them how a great site lasts. ky moonshiner==how many gallons have you got madfe in your workshop? you know otis can get awfully thirsty. do we even have an otis? sterling== i'll take 3 cases of aunt bea's pickles and anyone on the way out of town and state will get a freeby. see how generous i am? mayberry girl just got hopme again sorry couldn't talk but we will later, hug those elfs for me. pipeman

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17520: Hello all, Fer Fun Girl, "Almost Home" an' "I'll Be Home For Christmas". Play it a purty now boys. Here we go. Prayers to all.

Briscoe Darling Jr.

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17521: brisco darling jr== good to hear from you again. on your way home stop bye and wake up spot, that dog can't hang, after the decorating party. noone has seen nor heard ahim. thanks. pipeman puff a few bars and i'll jump in.

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17522: Good afternoon, everyone! My goodness, what weather we're having. I think I'll move to Chicago, where it's warmer and less windy! I took some Christmas flowers out to my parents' graves today, and I thought the wind was going to blow me away. Then I was returning something to Target, something in a very large box, and that was exciting! The box was like a sail, and the wind literally blew me sideways several times. It's also getting quite cold. I'd really be quite content to stay home this evening, but must go out.

Our deacon board at church has a Christmas party every year, for the deacons and their wives, and the widows of deacons who have gone on to be with the Lord are always included. One of the deacons will be picking me up this evening, and I'll attend the party. It will be fun, as I have many friends among the deacons and their wives, and our much-beloved former pastor will be there. It's always a pleasure to get to spend a little time with him. He has meant much to me and my family over the years. So, cold and wind notwithstanding, I guess I'll put on something pretty and go to the party.

As cold as it is, you'd think the wildlife traffic in my back yard would cease, but it hasn't. Slowed a little, perhaps, but still a lot of activity. Today, of all things, a young hawk came in and perched on the birdbath. Sat there for about fifteen minutes, then flew away. Though I was thrilled to see him, I'd just as soon that he wouldn't make those visits a habit, because he's a threat to all my other little friends out there. I've put out extra feed, and a suet cake for those who need it. I had a peanut butter board, with lots of crunchy peanut butter smeared on it, and somebody (squirrel, of course) has made off with the entire board. I can't find it! Two of the three squirrel houses are now occupied, and I saw someone investigating the third one today. As soon as I see signs of gnawing around the entry, I'll know they're planning to move in.

Well, gotta get dressed. Sugarplum says hey! --Romeena

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17523: Hey Mavis - I finally got pictures of the horses on the website. If your friends are still interested in appys then they should take a look. Sold a goat to Tennessee today and we partially deliver it on Saturday - he's meeting us halfway in Ky. Nothing like faraway trading!
Things are busy and many sickly's - don't think it is the flu - just this weather that can't make it's mind up about hot/cold/warm/windy. Who was that always talking about the weather - Calvin Coolidge?


December 09, 2003 - Msg 17524: No homemaker, Calvin Coolidge didn't say everything!


December 09, 2003 - Msg 17525: How's everyone doing?? I've been catching up on all the posts. We missed all the snow here. It all went north. My snapdragons are still blooming. Is that normal?

Homemaker--What the heck is a Mexican wedding cake? I've never heard of it.

Pipeman--How about some good ole'tobacco from Durham, NC? My father-in-law grows tobacco. It's not much money in it anymore. A lot of people have gotten out of it.

Mr. D's Cuz--You got it, "Man In A Hurry"-top episode.

Hey Spot-My dog Bingo is part border collie and the other part black lab (78 lbs-80 lbs)- he lets the cat eat first. Is that normal?

Boo-I could tell you hospital stories all night. But I will just tell you one. One of my patients told me that another nurse brought in sterile cup for a urine speciman and left. About that time breakfast was served. For the heck of it he poured his apple juice in the cup and put the lid back on. The nurse came back and said "my goodness
that sure looks dark". Mr Smith said "well maybe I need to filter it through again" and he took the top off and turned it up-can you imagine her reaction?

For those who did not get your flu shot--we are about to have a shortage.

Hello to Fun Girl, Mayberry Girl, Asa, Briscoe Darling Jr and all the others on the porch.

I need something to spice up this egg nog!!!

County Nurse
Stem, NC

December 09, 2003 - Msg 17526: Mercy! It's cold! I'm home from the Deacons' Christmas party, and it was lovely. The guest speaker was Dr. Bill Thorn. If ever, ever you get a chance to hear him, do it! He is absolutely the funniest, most entertaining speaker I've ever heard. He's in his 80's, and his talk just brims with jokes about aging, and he is hilarious. He's much in demand, speaks about 300 times a year, around the country. He has written 23 books, and the latest one is "The Dairy Queen Think Tank." It's gleanings from the conversation of eight elderly men who meet for breakfast every morning at the local Dairy Queen. I have an order in for a copy.

Well, guess I'll go in the house. Too windy out here on this porch, I'm ready for my warm chair, a cup of hot jasmine tea, and a cuddle with a warm Sugarplum who, by the way, says hey! --Romeena

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17527: good morning porch== well it's 2am and i seem to be the only one stirring. getting worried about spot. romeena& sugar plum-- great idea about chruch leadership party, i'll pass it on. HOW DO YOU BUILD YOUR SQUIRELL HOUSES? mayberry girl== today is a new day. pleasant dreams to all. pipeman

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17528: Morning dears!


December 10, 2003 - Msg 17529: Romeena - I like the name of the book- The Dairy Queen Think Tank - my dad belongs to the Walmart Diner Think Tank (he meets regularly with the boys there!)

A mexican Wedding Cake or a Russian Tea Cake - same thing - it is a small cookie in the shape of a ball made with crushed nuts and rolled in powder sugar - very easy to make. You can also make them and stick a Hershey kiss on the inside before baking. Talk about something good.
Thanks for helping me Asa - you are such a DEER!

have a good one


December 10, 2003 - Msg 17530: pipeman>>Talked with all three of the prospects last night. I have narrowed it down to 2. Yes, Alabama is out. I did find out Georgia has 40 acres out in Wyoming and wants to build a house there. That is in the West so there is a new quotient to the equation. Colorado doesn't have the money to help us move out there right now..or even anytime soon. Georgia does. Georgia also gave me a description of the is definitely

For others, wondering what the heck I am talking about. I have 2 marriage proposals and a 3rd that loves me dearly too but isn't ready for the marriage thing.

Spot>>> WHERE ARE ARE YOU??!!! Has spot ran away? Did we not feed him well enough? I gave him afgans to keep him warm even. Oh no, was he dognapped!!! *yells again* Spooooottttt!

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17531: i forgot to sign it again...Msg 17530 is from me. I am just so distraught over our missing guard dog.

~*~mayberry girl~*~

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17532: Hey Porch,

Just thought I'd drop in to see what condition your condition was in! (What song was that from anyway?)LOL

Romeena, I would love to see your yard. Did you post pictures of it somewhere? That hawk sounds pretty cool too. Of course you know my husband and I are nature lovers, we love the little critters, and the big ones too!

I was thinkin', how's about we do some Christmas Caroling around the porch here. We could make a list of favorite songs, and some favorite refreshments to partake in after we get back from the caroling. My suggestions are "Silent Night" and some nice, steaming hot, hot chocolate!

Season's Greetings!

Mary Wiggins

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17533: "Winter Wonderland" and hot apple cider afterwards!

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17534: Having a blizzard on my porch here this morning. Had to brave it to go out to feed my cats. Only 3 of 5 showed up for breakfast. Hope the other two are somewhere warm! Romeena, we have a group of men who meet at the local Dairy Queen on Friday mornings for devotional time too! I know I asked this before but no one responded in the affirmative: Does anyone watch At Home Live with Chuck and Jenny?? It's on the Family Net. We get it here on our local Christian station. I just LOVE that show. Today they had a curator-type lady on talking about past White House Christmas cards. George W. Bush is the first president to include a scripture in his Christmas card for the last 3 years! You go, GW! There I said it and I ain't takin' it back!
Charlotte Tucker

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17535: asa== not much to work with on your last long message. ha. it is great just to know you and yours are ok. charlotte tucker== it started out at 51 and dropped like a lead ballon, suppose to be 18 by 5pm. dashing thru the snow here.too. sounds like i need to look into family net. mary wiggins== howdy neighbor, i'd go with " it came upon a midnight clear" afterwards since it is 18 degree's maybe brisco darling, mr darlins cuz and ky moonshiner can provide the refreshments, if that pup spot can be found maybe he'll howl at the moon accompanied by banjo jerry if we can find him. then settle in to a pipe full, don't get much better for me. mayberry girl== if geogia picks you up and go directly to wyoming that could narrow it down to 1. pipeman

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17536: SPOOOOOOOOOOOT!!! Where are ya?
We Darlin's like our carols with some banjo and
of course, someone on the jug. How 'bout
"Oh Holy Night", and for 'freshmnets, some nice, soft cider with cinnamon. (We dont want poor Miss Mendelbright gettin' half crocked again.)(or Emma Watson!)
Sure was a bweutiful western moon last night.
Was there more than one county nurse?
I tuned in late to our local episode last night,
and a nurse named "Peggy" was out fishing with
Opie and Andy? What's up with that?
Mr. Darlin's Cuz

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17537: "HEY TO ALL PORCHERS"..I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAACK..hey mr darlins cuz,pipiman,asa,fun girl,boo Ro.plum,Charlotte Tucker,county nurse,HM, and everyone else .been doing the Christmas shopping thing the past two days,BOY have I missed yall!.the good company of all of yall and THE FOOD!.speaking of food is anybody cooking supper tomight?..signed: Spot the "Glad to be back" dog of the great mayberry porch...Yeeee Hawwww..ruff,ruff

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17538: Charlotte. I couldn't agree more. W may not be perfect but after the last guy who was President, George looks more like Abraham Lincoln everyday. Seeing a President who is proud of his beliefs is fantastic.
Hope everyone is keeping warm.

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17539: spot and auh2o== welcome home. we were beginning to think you had been kid and dog napped. spot= you just took my thunder, vitals have been scarce to none since your party, i've lost 67 oz. since the party, wasting away fast. county nurse==i was wondering where you were we missed you and if we got sick, we were in big trouble. ask your father-in law to send me some quality n.c. pipe tobacco and i'll enjoy it at the caroling party. amber alert ufo abduction? lawerence,banjo jerry, mrs wiley, barney buff, fast gun fife, shoe, salty dog, tom, pink floyd, jimmy the goat, ed sawyer to name a few, andy we have a crisis we just got to check with floyd he will know what to do, SURE AM HUNGRY, TO WEAK TO WEIGH. PIPEMAN

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17540: Welcome back Spot, w'ere gonna have to attach a
transmitter to ya, talkin' dog!!
This here Darlin' did about 95% web shoppin' this year. Man, a great new-fangled invenshun!
Mr D's Cuz

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17541: Go George Bush! He also gave all federal employes Dec 26th as a holiday. Thats just find with me.

Mr. Darlins Cuz- actually there were two county nurses. One was named Peggy and I think the other one was named Mary.

Gotta go- I believe the fried chicken is about ready. Is everybody ready to eat?

Homemaker-that sounds pretty good.

County Nurse
Stem, NC

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17542: Evening Honey's!


December 10, 2003 - Msg 17543: Happy Birthday, Floyd! And I believe it's also Salty Dogs birthday... (if memory serves, since I can't get into the cutlass anymore). Happy birthday to you both!
- Hazel

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17544: Hmmm, Homemaker, don't Mexican wedding cakes jump around alot or am I thinking about something else?;) I hear those Mexican weddings can get pretty messy.
Yeah Charlotte Tucker, I think that is why so many people hate President Bush so vehemently, because he is a religious man and he isn't afraid to show it. It's something I respect in him.

Cold here in the midwest section of the porch. But that is to be expected after a snow. It's like living in a freezer that needs to be defrosted.
-Sterling Holobyte

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17545: 'HEY ALL' County nurse is there any fried chicken left? famished..freezing here on the southern end of the porch..hey Mr. D"s cuz. the lojack system to track me might not be a bad idea! pipeman ya need a shot of squeezins to perk ya up?..hey asa HM, Boo,Ro,fun girl, mayberry girl and all you GREAT people. Hey anybody wana wrap up and ride 4-wheelers? got great trails !.signed: Spot the "Gona ride 4-wheelers" talkng dog of the porch..ruff , ruff

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17546: By golley I think yer right on Hazel. Thanks for remembering us.Happy Birthday to Floyd A. Newsome and to Salty Q. Dog. Hope it is a good one for both of you.


December 10, 2003 - Msg 17547: Well thanky kindly Hazel and Asa.. and a Happy Birthday to Floyd. It was a good day even if it did rain all day long. Ya'll have a good evening and stay warm. Love ya's.--Salty Q. Dog

December 10, 2003 - Msg 17548: what's the 'q' stand for?

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17549: I dont know, Asa started it and I thought it looked better tee hee-Salty Q Dog

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17550: the porch and vitals are coming alive. hey to hazel== happy birthday floyd and salty dog- your 39 this year right? our oldest daughter was born on christmas day, now that was a story by itself. sterling holobyte== it is to cold to defrost the fridge right now on my middle porch it is one above and not talking wind chill. put another way we would freeze our rutabakers off sitting on the porch.\ tonight. lol everyone. pipeman

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17551: Happy Birthday and many happy returns of the day to Floyd (Alan) and Salty. Just want to take a moment to tell Alan just how much we appreciat all you do for us here on the porch. I haven't had time to post all day and I actually missed everyone. Just felt like I had been cut off from an important part of my life. LOVE YOU ALL!

Now, last night we went to fungi's work party. They had ribeye steaks and all kinds of goodies. There were some fun girls there, but they were the kind of fun girls who share a bottle with Otis and then want to dance. Fungi did kareoke with some friends, but that is as wild as we got.
But one lady, I expected any minute to go up to some man and say "Hello Doll." A good time was had by all. We were home by 9:30. Had to watch Judging Amy.(my one vice) For those of you who watch the show and have for a while, I must say that the combo of Vincent and Carol was an AWFUL idea. I haven't heard of such a mismatch since Andy and Helen. I know she is quirky and kinda odd, but I do love Donna on that show and wish that through some twist of fate, Vincent would return and he and Donna would get together.

Getting tired.
fun girl

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17552: pleasant dreams fun girl.pipeman

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17553: well well happy "B" days to all ! the old dog has one coming up on the 22nd of this month..the big 44..daughter has one on the 19th of this month she will be 5..son just had ont the 30th of nov..the big 12..well gona have sausage pattys in the morning , bisquits,gravy,grits,and scrambled eggs, and o-yes hot sauce and OJ,yall come by the dog house,good night fun girl and pipeman and asa and all the good people on the porch signed: Spot the gona watch a movie dog of the porch....ruff..ruff..

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17554: What time is breakfast - it is 5:30 here and I am hungry? Spot - are your plates "licked" clean - don't want to eat off no dirty plates!


December 11, 2003 - Msg 17555: Hey to Hazel, Asa, Salty Q Dog, pipeman, fun girl, and ruff...ruff! Thanks to all of you and everybody else for the kind birthday wishes. It was a great day!

We travelled up to Nashville to take George "Goober" Lindsey out for HIS birthday which is next week. There was a crew of about 25 folks, I'm guessing, there to tell Mr. Lindsey "Happy Birthday" and to let him know how much joy he has given all us Mayberry fans over the years.

It was a really nice way to spend my birthday.

Thanks again to everybody.


December 11, 2003 - Msg 17556: Oh my Floyd, that sounds like a fun day indeed. That is so neat that you have that connection.
I was worried that maybe you had gone to Nashville and wasn't coming back.
That breakfast sounds pretty good spot. Should just hit the spot. I better get there before homemaker though.
Sounds like you had a blast Fun Girl. How is your back doing these days hon?
Better get to work now cause thats what I do.


December 11, 2003 - Msg 17557: Happy (belated) Birthday Floyd! And for the rest of the porch:Southerner 101

1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, -- you "PITCH" them.
2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, potato salad, beans, etc. make up "a mess."
3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "presently" is - as in: "Going to town;...I'll be back presently."
5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.
6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add ham biscuits, a mess of greens, and a large banana puddin'!)
8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" is someplace between 1 mile and 20.
9.) Only a true Southerner knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, hillbilly and po' white trash.
10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive noun, (as in "that ol' booger,") a first name, or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.
13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
15.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
16.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
17.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin' .. ," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
18.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
19.) A true Southerner knows that if you are with a couple of friends, you could be with 2 or ten. The number doesn't matter.
20.) And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.

As told to me by Big Jeff Pruit, "even I know what some of those things"

~ Mrs. Wiley

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17558: I'll bet the "Q" is for Queen! Happy belated Birthday Salty! ~ Mrs. Wiley

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17559: Mrs. Wiley - that was just great. My brother sent me the Southern Zodiac signs a few days ago - have you seen them?

And Asa - what do you think I have a "big" appet*te. I am not fat - I am just fluffy and big boned! and a farm girl at that.

Been trying to doctor one of my goats all week - I am not sure if I am making any headway or not. She did talk to me last night in goat lingo - that was the first time in a week. She has a lot of fight in her and she is very calm with me. I just hate to give up on her. . .but not sure how much more she and I can take.

Oh well -
the biscuits and sausage were delish, hit the spot - and the diet coke was a great treat!
Take care. . .


P.s. - happy belated birthday Floyd - and glad that it was so wonderfully spent!
And SQD - hope your birthday was not one for the dogs!

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17560: Prayers for homemaker's goat. We love our critters, don't we? Glad spot and Floyd made it back to the porch. Happy Birthday, Salty and Floyd!
Charlotte Tucker

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17561: good morning spot thanks for the great breakfast, unlike our beloved homemaker i was so hungry i would have eaten off dirty plate. tee- hee. asa=take care today and maybe if we talk real nice mrs wiley might cook tonight, it's so good having her and the rest of the folks stopping bye. when someone misses a couple of days did you notice how big a hole there is in our hearts and the porch . hey to mayberry girl and the elfs. pipeman

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17562: Hi! I was knocked off the porch several times this week due to my computer being on the fritz again. Good to be back.

Speaking of the county nurses. Wasn't Nurse Mary played by two different actresses?

Ro, I smiled when I read your post about the deacon's Christmas party. Bruce is a deacon and our deacon's party is tomorrow night. Our church is small and we only have four deacons and we will include my friend, Carole who's husband died this year (he was a deacon). I hope she will come, anyway, but it hasn't been very long since she lost her husband. We usually all go out to eat somewhere and then meet at one of the deacon's homes for dessert and we exchange small gifts. This year I bought each couple an ornament while I was in Fredricksburg and baked some cookies to put in pretty Chritmas tins.

Loved the thing about Southern folk. Very true! My Mom is from West Virginia so the cuisine was a bit different (I never had collard greens or fried tomatoes). We had alot of beans and cornbread, though.

Ya'll keep those Christmas stories coming, ya hear?

I have to go tend to the kids. I just heard something spill in the kitchen!! Bye!


December 11, 2003 - Msg 17563: Great stuff as Christmas draws near!
Mrs Wiley- loved the southerner deal!]
Reminds me of "you know you're in Phoenix when..." but that's another story.
Besides my cactus, I added lights to the palm tree here on the southwest end o the porch.
fungirl- I hear ya about Andy and Helen. Always thought it was a mismatch. I think county nurse
Peggy would have been best for him.
Looked in my Mayberry Book and you're right ,
CN WAS played by 3 different actresses.
Vittles sure sound good recently.
I fried up some sauage and cottage fries last night. mmmmmm good.
Hey County Nurse, Mayberry is my real life, of course, (haha) but in my alternate life, i work with dialysis patients. Very rewarding!
Good to hear there are some other GW fans out there.
"Well Ange, think I'll go get a bottle of pop, then head over to Thelma Lou's, and watch a little TV.
Yup, that's the plan, bottle of pop, Thelma Lou's,
and watch a little TV..."
(Sorry, I had to paraphrase)
Mr., glad spot is back and doin'ok, Darlin's Cuz

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17564: hey Mrs Wiley you gona cook tonight? what can I bring..Signed: Spot the food dog...

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17565: Hey Darlins Cuz and all the other porchers, look when are we gona have a Bon Fire?.fun girl pipeman I"ll get the tractor to haul

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17566: I loved the southern thing. I was born in Georgia and much of the family still lives there. My hubby never had collard greens or grits until he met me. (Lived a deprived life in southern Cali, don't ya know.)

Another Christmas memory. I was probably just out of my teens and I was standing in the kitched talking to my grandma while she made homemade noodles and my cousin's two girls came in and made a wish on the wishbone. They were about 8 and 6. Anyway, the oldest girl got the big end of the wishbone and she told Grandma and me that she had wished her mom and dad would get back together. They were recently divorce. Nearly brought me to tears. I remember wanting my mom and dad to get back together for probably 9 years after they divorced, so I could relate.

Asa, my back has been doing fantastic until I woke up this morning. I guess I must have slept funny or something cause I am right stove up. (for those of you who were not raised in the south, that means stiff and sore--somebody correct me if I am wrong, that's always the way I heard it used) But, this too shall pass.

Our church has a white elephant gift exchange next week. A real riot, I can assure you. No, we don't pass around albino pachederms. If anyone doesn't know what a white elephant gift exchange is, just ask and I will be glad to explain.

Dont the porch seem nice and full. Glad Alan had such an awesome birthday. Hey possum, just got back from my sister's, and got me some neck sugar from little Rosa. No Rosachio this time. Baby neck sugar is the best!

fun girl