December 11, 2003 - Msg 17567: Us darlin's is always game for a good bonfire.
Not much wood around the west end however.
I can throw in an ocatillo!!
Love those butterfly kisses.
mr Darlin's Cuz

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17568: Ok yall . "BON FIRE" tomorrow night I"ll hook the trailer up to the old tractor and fetch the wood..will light her at about 7 or so after supper. Wana grill out steaks before the fire? Hot dogs fer the kids, got some old hank williams sr. cd"s..we got any squeezins to keep us warm?..signed:Spot the fire dog

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17569: mr darlin's cuz== not much wood in illinois left either, quess we'll have to go with straw. i am hungry now but i don't know where the vitals tonight were to be, i'm to weak to pull up archives.wonder what happened to banjo jerry? miss your fellows pruty playing. pipeman

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17570: spot the fire dog == so you don't think i lost my one marble with my post below you, i think you and i sent our messages at the same time, gives a whole new meaning to instant messagener. me and my brown truck are puffing our way toward you now. i sometimes think i enjoy my puffs more than the truck does. pipeman

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17571: well we can start the fire with straw and then pile on the wood !..yall like ribeye steaks?..signed: Spot the hungry talking fire dog of the porch

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17572: Ok, spot, pipeman, grab kymoonshiner, Briscoe etc; let the gals git purdyed up and we'll have us a good
pickin' party 'round the fire.
What's the eats?
Mr D's Cuz

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17573: is on tomorrow night, gona get the BIG smoker out and put a couple of hams on in the morning and they will be ready tomorrow night [falling off the bone] girls wash yer best dress now ya here!..who can make good cole slaw?..and bake beans?..corn on the cobb?..were gona have a ball!!signed: Spot the ham smoking dog!!

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17574: squeezins and pickin, now that's a good combination.

Ky moonshiner

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17575: and purdy girls too, yeeeeehaaaaaa.

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17576: YEEE HAWWWW ! Purdy girls , good food , squeezings,pickin,and a good warm Bon fire!may put 4 hams on the smoker, want to have plenty whos gona bring the slaw? I"ll set the horse shoes up and dart board,whew!gona have a blast.Ky moonshiner better bring two jugs may be a long night..signed:Spot "The wana dance with girls" dog of the porch ..ruff ruff

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17577: Hey MDC, is that octillio anything like exactillioso? LOL That was the first thing I thought of when I read it.

fun girl

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17578: Does anybody want to two step? Or how about game of setback? Somebody put another log on the fire.
It's cold.

Mr. Darlin's Cuz-I work outpatient surgery- we have unfortunately alot of people who have to come in for grafts for dialysis. What type of work do you do?

Thank goodness it's almost Fri. Looks like a cold rainy weekend. Gotta go, I have to iron my uniform.

County Nurse
Stem, NC

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17579: Anyone for 'smores? ~ Mrs. Wiley

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17580: County Nurse will ya save a dance for the dog tomorrow night at the bon fire? the trailer loaded up with wood and hooked behind the tractor. Like I said are we grilling out ribeye steaks tomorrow?..we need a porch lady to make cole slaw..and fun girl you aint right msg.17577.well got to go round up some fat wood .[anybody know what that is?}to start the fire tomorrow.~its about 29 here on the southern end of the porch ,,brrr.hope my water bowl dont freeze.If so yall help OK?..signed: Spot the "Gona kick up my paws tomorrow night" dog of the famous porch ..ruff ruff..

December 11, 2003 - Msg 17581: County Nurse what is set back?..sounds like it would throw yer back out to try

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17582: Party tomorrow night?? Sounds good. We aint had a party in a long time. Just watch out for Hazels meatballs they can hurt if ya get hit with one tee hee--Salty Q Dog

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17583: Guess Who?? It's li'l ol' me, Banjo Jerry...back from my strange and spookified adventure. See, what happened was, a few days back, I was sitting on the South End of the porch, thinkin' bout goin' and lookin' for a nice Christmas tree to put up on our end, maybe put some Snoopy Lights on it and stuff, so here I go to step off the porch and head off into the woods behind the house, and I stepped on a loose board and promptly did a Buster-Keaton dive off into the Azalia bushes. I laid there for awhile watching the little birdies tweeting around my head, when who comes along but Ernest T. Bass!! He hoisted me up across his shoulders, I'll never know how he can lift a full-grown sick....anyway...he takes me back to his cave hideout and fed me on bacon drippings and hot Jello water. He even made sure I wouldn't fall outa bed by tying my ankles to the bedposts. Wasn't that nice of him? I thought so.....but after a few days of this I started to get restless, and while he was out hunting for wild pheasant, which just may be the most difficult bird to ensnare....I gnawed off the ropes and escaped! I was able to find my way thru the woods to a road where these two farmers in a truck picked me up, and I spent yesterday helping them sell vegetables by the side of the road. They gave me five dollars and a nice big head of cabbage to take with me....SO HERE I AM! DID YA MISS ME?
What's this about having a party? I can take the cabbage and make some of Malcolm's famous "bubble and squeek" if anybody's's good to eat in cold weather! Just need some hamhocks and taters to go with it... :)
Great to see everybody again, back in the civilized world....A slightly dizzy, Banjo Jerry

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17584: Hey banjo!welcom back just in time for the bon fire and dance [with gurls!] tomorrow at the southern end of the porch salty dog can you make cole slaw?.cant get the women of the porch to make none for tomorrow night. Their to busy getting their best dreses ready and there nails and stuff..gona slick down my fur and cut a rug.Hope some of the porch ladys arent alergic to dog hair!.gona put the hams on the smoker in the morning..umm..or the "bubble and squeek"sounds good ..I"ll put taters in the coals in the smoker ..yee haww cant wait..hey fun girl and HM,and hazel ya can bring meatballs if ya want, we can play shot put with them ..ha ha signed: Spot the "gona dance and eat " dog of the porch

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17585: Fun Girl, I never heard anyone say "stove up" except my hillbilly mother! Everytime she said it, my sister and I would look at her with disdain (shame on us--we thought we were so smart), roll our eyes and say, "What??!!". Poor Mom. She had to put up with two daughters who thought they knew more than she did when they were teens. I also remember being shallow enough to be embarrassed by my mothers shoes. Seems she always wore shoe styles that offended my sister and me. Not any longer, of course. Now at age 41, I am wearing the embarrassing shoes (Ah, the cycle of life goes on....).

Talking about Mom reminded me of a Christmas story I can tell you. Well, in the very small town I grew up in, there was an annual Christmas Posada in which choirs from the local churches (including my mom) would walk down mainstreet at night holding lighted candles and they would dress like folks in Jesus' day and would even include donkeys and such in the procession. They would sing something called a Cantata (I don't think I spelled that right) and they would reinact the trip that Mary and Joseph took into Bethlehem and sing the parts of Mary, Joseph and the inn keeper, etc. Well, one year lots of folks came down with the flu and those singing the parts were ill. I remember my friend (the local druggist) having to sing the parts of Joseph and the inn keeper. He stood on one side of this door and as the inn keeper he would sing, "Who's calling there?" and then he would run around to the other side of the door and sing Joseph's part...."Two strangers needing shelter for the night....". It was pretty funny. That was also the night our dog, Whiskers got out and kept chasing the donkey and biting at his heels. It was a comical event that year.

Well, I will bring my guitar to the bon fire and a scary story or two. Ever hear the one about The Golden Arm???........


December 12, 2003 - Msg 17586: top of the morning to all== it's 2am here.sounds like a great ho- down tonight. i suggest we keep an eye on big jeff pruitt, you know how he loves to pick the purity ladies up, but he's alway's polite he sets them down east, tips his hat, and only picks up the single ones. where's breakfast this morning? even star trek is sleepin. mayberry girl-- i had taken my meds and that one makes me droggy. lol. pipeman

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17587: would you be my present figure? i think i'm going to be all chocked up. pipeman

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17588: Well its 4:30 am here on the southern end of the porch .. gona go ahead and get the smoker fired up for the hams. Think I"ll throw a couple of chickens on also but they will go on at about the wood all cross stacked for the Bon fire , gona be a grand time,gona have so many purity lady from the porch here for the party, ole jeff pruitt will be fine if he stays out of the squeezing!..well gona get busy, burr its cold,yall call me for breakfast in a bit ..signed: Spot the "Gona smoke ham" sog of the party porch!!

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17589: Boo you getting all gussied up and coming to the ho-down tonight, gona be a good one , wear yer dancing shoes !..Spot

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17590: I reckon I can make some coleslaw seeing as how Spot has his heart set on it so. I done got my dress all ready and "set" my hair with Dippity Do (any one remember your mama setting your hair with Dippity Do and then putting those hard pink plastic curlers in it?) I'm a gonna dance til my stocking are hot and raveling. My back feels much better today and I am sure a little exercise (dancing) would help it considerably.

BDJ as cold as it is, could ya see your way clear to bring a couple jugs o'squeezins? And Asa, do not bring your golf clubs. Last time Hazel brought meatballs you were using them as a golf ball and didn't ya bean someone? I believe a visit to the emergency room came of it too. Then there was the time you fell off the roof trying to decorate Ro's house for Christmas. Or was that someone else? Ya know we love ya Asa or we wouldn't pester ya so much. LOL

I have a dear friend, who reminds me of Miss Julia by the way. She is from Tennessee and I love some of her expressions. For example "gotta get all my ducks in a row." Just so cute. Anyone else got any cute expressions you have heard from an older person, or that you yourself say. Everybody share! I got the expression "stove up" from To Kill a Mockingbird. After Mr. Avery falls trying to save Miss Maudie's furniture from the fire, he is right stove up. I know the feeling.

Well, my ducks ain't in a row, so I reckon I better go and handle that.
fun girl

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17591: Good Mornng porch it's cold on my porch this morning. And I too have heard 'stove up' all my life. My Daddy always said Pipe Down too. I never could figure out exactly what that meant. And yes FG my momma always used dippity do, the green kind. I used to tell her she was gonna have dents in her head from sleeping in those curlers. Then the next night she'd wrap it in toilet paper so it wouldn't mess it up. We'd laugh over that. When the movie Steel Magnolia's came out and Dolly Parton played the beautician in it and was talking about wrapping her hair in toilet paper to keep it from getting mashed we were laughin like crazy thinking about how mom used to do the same thing. Well I reckon I'm ready for the party tonight. Ya'll gotta watch this bunch at a party. Remember the time Hazel came home riding one of Homemakers goats? She kept swearing it was a horse. What can I bring? Maybe some deviled eggs. Ya'll have a good day--Salty Q Dog

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17592: Mornin Porch! Brrr, chilly here in S.FL today. Rite good weather for getting a Christmas tree - if I ain't all stove up. Got my s'mores makin's ready for tonight! I remember dippity-do. Also remember my Mom and older sister giving each other facials with some homemade poltice of egg and oatmeal - looked like a baking party gone seriously wrong. We had some funny phrases around our house too. Both my parents grew up in the depression, so I felt special having learned so many old lines. Then there are the special family ones, like:

"You dumb nut!" (hollered at bad drivers)
"Nerve-aine" (short for "Move Anne", when blocking the view of the TV)
"You make a better door than a window" (same as above)
"Judas Priest" (opposite of "Good Lord?")
"For crying out loud"

Funny how the ones I remember were all indicative of irritation. See y'all tonight!

~ Mrs. Wiley
"Up-Chuck!" (love ya!)

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17593: Good Friday - everyone!!


December 12, 2003 - Msg 17594: Hey homemaker and everyone else. It is Friday and that makes me smile. :) Thats a real smile too, that ain't gas.
Hope everyone is well and fine. Enjoyed that southern thing Mrs. Wiley. Although I ain't from the south I can relate. I have a brother in law from Alabama and he reminds me so much of Goober it ain't funny. All he is missing is the beanie cap. And that ain't in a bad way. He's got a heart as big as gold.
Romeena, you still with us or did you blow away? Hows the Plumster doing these days. My poor old Sammy is really showing his age and I dread the day it comes, so I ain't gonna think about it.:(


December 12, 2003 - Msg 17595: We here in mid-Illinois say "stoved up." Must've put our own twist on it! Speaking of funny expressions... last night our son was talking about how they are teasing a teacher at school about his old Ford truck, which brought us to a discussion of expressions for Fords: Fix or Repair Daily and Found on Road Dead! Funny. I personally have nothing against Fords. Anybody got any others?
Charlotte Tucker

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17596: Wanted to give a plug here to the people with the biggest hearts in the world: I've been watching on At Home Live a daily update about a guy named Bill Wilson who heads Metro Ministries in New York where they pick up 20,000 kids every Sunday to take them to a church in the worst parts of the city. This pastor, Bill Wilson, was recently shot in the face and is still recovering and trying to get enough money so that every one of these children can receive a small gift for Christmas from the ministry. Most have nothing. If you feel moved to give you can send a check or wrap and send a $10 child's gift to this address they gave on TV: Metro Ministries, P.O. Box 695, Brooklyn, NY 11237. I am sending a check today. Anyone who gives I'm sure will be blessed.
Charlotte Tucker

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17597: good afternoon porch== party time at spots soon. charlotte tucker== i'm from lincoln, il. where are you? asked about some old sayings, i have to many to list, 1.was you raised in a barn? 2. why do you think i have so many grey hairs? 3. i hope you have 12 kids just like you. 4. there so green if they fell down they would grow. 5. oh! so it's the egg who is going to teach the chicken? it's raining? you're not sugar and won't've made your bed now lie in it. 8. if you dance you must pay the fiddler.9. just because parents are allowed to do something doesn't mean kids can. well maybe that will get you started. asa== aren't you having a b'day on the 14th? hey to mayberry girl and the elfs. pipeman


December 12, 2003 - Msg 17599: "OK GANG' just turned the hams and put the chickens on [got some frog legs ia'll put on at about 4 or so..Salty dog deviled eggs will be girl ya better get ready to swing!Mrs wiley so they make Dippity Do for dogs? might be called Dippity Dog..well back to the smoker!..sure hope more gurles fron the porch show up ..pass the word ..will be back on the porch soon!signed:Spot the "Gona wear Dippity Do" dog of the porch!

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17600: Hmmmmm, seems like I've seen Jeff Pruitt on another show with a bunch of cast-aways, even callin' someone else "lil buddy" instead of barney!
FG- That was a good
Charlote- I'm writin' one of them checks right now. Thanks for sharin'.
County nurse- I'm just what's called a reuse tech, nothing fancy like surgery!!
Sayings: anyone ever hear "agin" for against,?
as in "put the box agin the wall.!!!
How bout: Now we're cookin with gas,
or: That's the cat's meow!
Watch it, Charlene Darlin' may be out husband huntin'at the party tonight!
How about a square dance?
Mr D's Cuz

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17601: Mr D"s Cuz..swuare dance..hum..who can call one?.im game..and charlene may be coming with dud wash..hey for starters we are gona need some ice tea..can someone bring some ..cant drink squeezins till dark...[or can we?]..well hams are conming along GREAT..smoke pouring out of the smoker!.got my hat blocked and bolo ready , boots spit shinned and ready to BOOGIE...signed: Spot "the getting ready dog" of the party porch!

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17602: Yeah, CN, what is "setback?"

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17603: County Nurse you bring the set back stuff [what ever it is] and we all will give it a whirl! to get more wood for the

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17604: it is great to have thr porch so full again, everything in the universe is right again, banjo jerry== ernest t. must haven't liked the songs you played, he's funny about that but we love your pickin. ANY GUESSES WHAT BARNEY'S GUN WILL SELL FOR ON E=BAY/ TONIGHT THE 12 DAYS OF VHRISTMAS PUT ANYTHING IN THE TREE YOU WANT. HA. PIPEMAN

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17605: On the first day of Christmas, Andy gave to me:
A silver bullet. . . .

On the second day of Christmas, Andy gave to me:
2 fun girls and a silver bullet. . . .

Okay - it's a sing a long - help finish. . .


December 12, 2003 - Msg 17606: Vhristmas? hey pipeman, you already samplin'
the 'freshments?

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17607: "ATTENTION ! ATTENTION"..THE PARTY WILL START IN ONE HOUR!..ladys get yer ruffled dresses fluffed and men get your hats blocked and hang on ..people are starting to show up now , got them toteing wood, got my fur dippity doo"ed down and redy top cut a rug , hams are coming off the smoker in just a bit, chicken is getting the bbq sauce treatment now ,hanging lights up to dance by ..yeee hawww , wheres the girls? start the music !! signed: Spot the "Gona eat a lot dog of the party"..

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17608: "O-YEA. fire is a roaring, spot

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17609: I'll be a little late for the party. My dippity doo aint done yet.
- Hazel

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17610: I'll get out the good stuff. It's been agin' nye on to two weeks now.

Ky moonshiner

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17611: agein', done been into it too much.

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17612: "OK
December 12, 2003 - Msg 17613: Let the party begin....I have arrived.

fun girl

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17614: OK YALL COME ON..THE PARTY IS ON wana dance fun girl?, yer hair looks great hazel, pass the jug moonshiner, good music..LOOK AT THAT FIRE!.dont get the jug too close or KA-BOOM !.pipeman get ya a hunk of ham..gona get me a chicken leg Signed: SPOT the dancing dog ..a-one and a-two

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17615: County Nurse ..WHERE ARE YA?..if ya have to go to work later ya can wear ya uniform to the party!

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17616: Pipeman quit trying to ballance that broom on your nose ..[show off]

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17617: Mr. D"s Cuz im sure if ya stand over there next to that tree on the corner bet someone will try to pick ya

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17618: no coffee or tea please...may I please have this daaaaaace ? that who i think it is ?

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17619: Salty dog yer suppose to ring the stob with the horse shoe...NOT pipemans

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17620: who brought the tent?

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17621: Pipeman get that horse shoe out from around yer neck and that dart out of your [well] and go get me some wood

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17622: things are rolling now,
Ky moonshiner

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17623: HICCUP!


December 12, 2003 - Msg 17624: OK,OK,OK,..were having a great time ,!HICCUP, BELCH,who brought the fried pig skins?..Where are the purtiy girls?..are they all no shows? girl where did ya go?..look at this pile of frog legs coming off the grill?..Asa where are ya going on the 4-wheeler and who is that on the back?..pipiman quit trying to put my horse saddle on my black LAB..whew..yall know any soggy mtn. boy tunes.."I am a man of constant sorry".....yeee hawww...SpOt..HiCuP

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17625: Salty Dog put my bow and arrow down thats NOT an apple on Asa"s

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17626: Well it was dark (hiccup) I didn't mean to chunk it around his neck. And just who told Asa to bring those golf clubs again? He just about knocked me over on that 4 wheeler. Driving like that and waving that club around. Just dont tell him that spot was trying to roast a marshmallow with one of em. Well I'll be fixin some coffee now, I think some of us could use it.--Salty Q Dog

December 12, 2003 - Msg 17627: Hey Gang, It's Party Time! Banjo Jerry has arrived! Hey, Spot, them frog legs look good, lemmie try one...hmmm, tastes like chicken!......Where is all them purty ladies what was sposed to be here? Are they hiding in Bee's kitchen? I'll go check.....
(Offstage, the sound of women squealing is heard and Jerry ducks out of the kitchen as a frying pan flies over his head)
Wow, I don't know what's goin on in there but I better leave them alone before they put a dent in my skull!....Maybe they ain't got their laces snugged up yet....
Okay everybody, how bout a song?....
Wish that I was on ol' Rocky Top, down in the Tenessee Hills....Ain't no smoggy smoke on Rocky Top, ain't no telephone bills! Once't I had a gal on Rocky Top, half bear, the other half cat....wild as a mink but sweet as soda pop, I still dream about that!.....
EVERYBODY, sing it with me now......

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17628: .....Rocky Top, you'll always be, Home sweet home to meeeee....Good old Rocky top, Rocky top Tenneseeeeee....Rocky Top, Tenneseeeeeeee!!
Whoo, Spot, you shure has got a high roof to your mouth, you sound like the Hound of the Baskervilles!
Oh wow...that was fun, Hey everybody look, I was gonna make the bubble and squeek but didn't have time to get hamhocks, so I made cole slaw out of the cabbage instead, it's my mom's (Robie Miller) favorite recipie, it has green cabbage, purple cabbage, carrots, celery and her super secret dressing in it! And all good for you too! Dig in!
So what is everybody else up to? Got any good stories or anything? Say, is Andy working tonight? I wonder if he's gonna have something to say when he finds all these people hanging out on his porch at all hours of the night....Whadaya think?
Banjo Jerry, the Sultan of the South End

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17629: "YOOOOODAAAALAAAHEEEOOOOO..Just dont understand NO WOMEN?...pipeman what did you do get all of them in your brown truck..OK-OK off the roof banjo jerry you want clear the deck to reach the pool...THUD-told

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17630: get the jug from jerry....

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17631: Hi Ya'll. Sorry I'm late. I had another shin-dig (one of those Southern sayings?) to attend before I came. It was pretty fun for a Deacon's Christmas party.

Hazel, you made me spit my hot chocolate with that last post of yours about the Dippety Doo! I remember my mom using the stuff. She used the green and the pink and she kept it up high on the bathroom window sill. I would climb onto the sink and get it down every one and awhile because I liked to sniff it and stick my fingers in it. Great stuff! She also used those pink curlers everyone is talking about. She did not, however wrap her head in Charmin. You girls remember those little hairdryers that had the cap you put over your head and a tube connecting the cap and the machine that blew hot air?? Wonder what ever happened to those?

Yeah, I was wondering where Ro was, too. I think shew went back to work on Wed. and is just busy. Hope we hear from her soon.

Anyone wanna go to the duck pond?


December 13, 2003 - Msg 17632: "Shew"? Who's Shew? Sounds like a knock-knock joke.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Shew who?
Shew bring the squeezin's? I shore am thirsty!

By the way, I think Vicks is being replaced by Dippety Doo.


December 13, 2003 - Msg 17633: Think people would talk if we went to the duck pond Boo?

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17634: We could take a couple of the frog legs and a jug Boo?

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17635: Why would ya want to go to the duck pond at night? You cant see the ducks tee hee--Salty Q Dog

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17636: Dippety Doo Dah
Dippety A
My oh my what a wonderful day... Ok sorry.. last of my singing--Salty Q Dog

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17637: Now Salty dog from one dog to another , look its a full moon tonight the light at the pond is pretty good...tee-hee....and any way I built the fire yall can watch it and put it out while I walk off all the ham and slaw I consumed [and squeezings]...are all the girls passed out ?.spot

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17638: I'm okay! Really, I meant to do that, imitating Buster Keaton can have the jug back but it's pert near empty by now.
Are we going to the duck pond? I want to go too and catch some more frogs...we could light a fire and sing some songs, huh? (singing, tipsy) Mister bluebird on my's the truth, it's actual, everything is sat-is-fact-chal!
Gee, my mom had one of them "bonnet hair dryers" now that you mention it, Boo. I remember the weird sound the motor made when she used it and how funny it smelled when it got hot. She could never hear anybody when she had it on and used to scream "WHAT?" all the time even when nobody was even talking to her...but she does that a lot anyway....Uuh, I think I need some fresh air...(Jerry stands up and hangs on to the porch pillar, a little unsteady) Did I ever tell you about the time I was a kid back in Danville and I used to watch the trains?......Whoooo, Whooooo! I love trains!.......(singing again) I been workin on the rayl-road, all the livelong dayyy....(Jerry's eyes roll back in his head and he slides gracefully down the porch pillar to the floor, sprawls out on his back, dangling his feet off the edge of the porch, saying...) Good night, Burford, I'm gonna go nitey nite now, tell mom I wanna get up and watch cartoons in the morning....(snoring)
***This has been Banjo Jerry, now concluding his broadcast day. Thank You.***

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17639: Well things have quieted down a little, dont hear nothin but Jerry's snoring. Asa's in his rockin chair with his golf clubs in his hands and one of em still has a little marshmallow on the end of it. Spot fell asleep on the four wheeler hope he dont try to ride it in his sleep. Anyone up for a late night walk to the duck pond?--SDQ

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17640: IM AWAKE , IM AWAKE, look this duck pond thing is great but look I just figure it would be a little more fun with a few of the porch ladys [that did not show up at the party] to go to. I think Boo and fun girl are the only two that showed up . I sure hope Asa dont wake up and think he is on the #1 tee with that golf club and go to swinging...well i do think i"ll go to the duck pond for a night cap and rince this dippity do out of my fur..yall gona help me clean up tomorrow?..Pipeman how did you get that know on yer head..signed: Spot the "gave a party but not lots of people showed up" dog of the porch ..ruff ruff

pipe man how did ya get the knot on yer head?..yall gona help me clean up tomorrow?.im going down to the duck pond and rince this dippity do out of my the dog that gave a party....ruff ruff

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17641: for ssome reason the preveous mess. posted are the best porsters taking a nap on the southern end

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17642: alright it's 2am time to rise and shine.time to start the clean- up for the greatest party throwing dog. remember fellers, no trash in the little brown truck, it all goes in spot's bakery truck, he asked us to clean- up not get rid of it. hurry now i got to get over to the auction and pick up barney's baby- sure hope they throw in the bullet. ain't it awfull barney's fell on such hard times, he had to sell baby blue? he was always so proud if he let us know we would have given him a couple bucks .

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17643: Ya'll are gassed!!

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17644: the preceding msg was brought to you by pipeman. ladies--- how do we clean up this dipity- do off everything, scrub harder spot, banjo jerry just sit on the porch and sing so we can clean up. do you know any military songs? MDC== yeah vhristmas, i got a vhristmas, you got a vhristmas,everyone has a vhristmas. it's common knowledge man. i would love to relax and enjoy some of that fine north carolina tobaco that county nurse brought me but i'm afraid all the fellers spiked it while i was riding the black lab. you ladies were the prettiest ones in the universe last might, you sure made our hearts go pit- pat. pipeman.

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17645: what was the best christmas gift (excluding the lord) you ever recieved for christmas? what happened to it? pipeman

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17646: message 17642 was pipeman's. message 17643, i'd guess salty dog, asa, or mdc. charlotte tucker and therest of you sweet ladies take the weekendoff you deserve it. please make sure there is plenty of food, tea, coffee and laundry done for us. don't that sound familiar have a goodtime after all the comforts of life is at hand? your the best. pipeman

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17647: well barney's baby blue sold on e-bay for 8,000 dollars plus 18 percent auction fee. go shopping have fun., pipeman

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17648: GOOD MORN....well thanks for helping me clean up ...who ever did not get to come to the party last night missed a good-un....just did not have enough dance tired of dancing with pipeman!...well lets eat breakfast ..signed the tired dog

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17649: I was right there at the party, Spot. Remember early on you said my hair looked purty? I just kindof blended into the shadows and didn't say much. And Salty Q. was another of the girls that was there. By the way, I liked those earrings you wore, Salty. Boy, Banjo Jerry sure was gassed, wasn't he. Bless his heart. Sure enjoyed the sing-along. Thanks for the party, Spot.
- Hazel

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17650: Pipeman, I can remember a Christmas morning when I was about 13 or 14 and me and my brother found a huge table top hockey game under the tree.We could't believe it.My recollection is must have been about 5 feet by 3 feet.Every kid in town would come over to play with that game.We made up leagues had playoffs the whole 9 yards.When I see those guys these days and we're talking about the good old days that game often gets mentioned.Well, I found the old gift stored in my brothers barn a while back and ya know it was actually about 2 feet by 3 feet. The regular size for those games.
Well, Mrs. auh2o left for some Christmas shopping about 6:30 this morning. We got a little more than a foot of snow last night and I'm sitting here drinking coffee and eating Christmas cookies. My beautiful daughters are safe and sound asleep.
All is well on the Great Lakes end of the porch.

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17651: Mornin' Y'all. Sorry I missed the party last night.I had every intention of showing up.I slicked down with too much Dippity Doo and got stuck to my rock and couldn't get out! I barely managed to undoo (get it? Ha Ha) myself and get up on the Porch this morning! Sounds like y'all had a great time! I'll have to catch the next party-guess that'll be our Christmas bash!
Well,gotta go try to get cleaned up for work.Dippity Doo and BBQ (hey I rhymed!) don't go together! Y'all have a good day!
possum under a rock

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17652: When I showed up for the party everybody was asleep. Does anybody need me to mix up one of Otis's special remedies for a hang over.

Auh2o-We are expecting freezing rain and sleet here. I would rather have the snow. I guess I better get my husband to check the generator.

Spot-Did you get all that Dippity Doo out of your fur? I thought we were going to play setback (it's a card game)-I think they even mentioned it one time on TAGS.

I was looking back on the posts-favorite sayings and so forth-how about

1. You are as worthless as hair on a wooden leg
2. Fine as frog hair
3. Put the fat on the mat --means drive fast
4. Busier than a one-legged man in an a-- kicking contest.
5. Lie like a rug
6. Smiling like a mule eating briars

I have also noticed that people who move to NC don't know what nabs are. Does anybody want to take a guess?

Guess I better go. The kids are getting wild in the next room.

Pipeman-Why are you always up at 0200. Are you peeking at the presents?

County Nurse
Stem, NC

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17653: spot=== that wasn't pipeman you kept dancing with it was one of santa's lady elf's. county nurse== i could say i'm up at 2am because of indigestion, but actually it's the military in me, rise before the troops that way you can keep nabs(BOTH EYES) on there where abouts and activities. possum i was really lookin forward to a dance with you, that dippity do will stop you in your tracks. staying inside out of the snow if they want to visit they know my address, bah- humbug. tee- hee. pipeman

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17654: bullitin board had a great idea. what would the folks of mayberry want for christmas this year? andy, barney and each character. pipeman

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17655: HICCUP!


December 13, 2003 - Msg 17656: Good sayings County Nurse, lol.
So, do you know what a "fistula" is?

The party talk remined me of the western ho-down in Back to the Future III. I thought we were gonna have ta hose down spot the dancin' dog o the porch, though! (hehe)
Best gift i recall was when i was about 10, I got a Rifleman cap gun. Man, I played with that thing for years. Had a special friend, like Johnny Paul Jason, and I still know him today, and we'd play Cowboys and Indians for hours.
Used to go together to the Saturday matinees, serials and a stage show here in Phx, The Lew King Rangers Show! Good times for sure.
My wife thinks were crazy when we talk of those days. Had open canals here too that we would swim in in the summertime!
Andy: Barney, you're gassed!!!
Ya'all take it easy now.
mr Darlin's Cuz

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17657: Have you lived in Phoenix all your life, MDC? I was born there, and still have lots of family there.
- Hazel

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17658: County Nurse, absolutely snow beats ice and freezing rain any day. A couple of years ago we had about 7 feet of snow in 5 days.It made the lead story on all the national news outlets. We never lost electricity once.This fall we had about a 1/2 inch of freezing rain and lost lights and heat for about 4 days.Snow does get a bad rap.

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17659: HEY ALL, well Hazel and Salty Q, ya should have came to the lower field where banjo and pipeman and the WILD gang were...whew ..but all in all a great party.possum i was so much looking fowared to a critter to critter dance ...o-well maybe next time...hams were good frog leg too!Asa still has the HICUPS"s..county nurse ya should have took some meatball and beened us and woke us up!..we probably had some steam left in us!And yea almost all of the dippity do cam out of my fur , the rest will have to wear out ...pipeman thanks for yer help ..well gona take my 5 yr. old daughter off tonight to do the father and daughter Christmas shopping thing, probably want be back on the porch tonight , cold and raining here , hey Boo,fungirl,MDC"s,HM,Asa[hicup],well all take care, hey look my daughter wants to spend the night on the porch with us tonight so watch out for her she will be using me as a pillow..signed: Spot the "gona be a pillow tonight" dog of the best porch in the world .ruff ruff

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17660: Hey Spot, sorry I fell asleep before we had a chance to go to the duck pond!

Auh2o, I loved your post about the snow and Christmas cookies. You should come to the porch and share more with us. I could just see you sitting in your warm home eating Christmas cookies with a foot of snow outside and your beautiful daughters asleep.

I would have to say that my best Christmas gift (and I think I may have shared this last year) was a beautiful baby doll I got when I was in the 4th grade. It was one of those Madame Alexander dolls and she had a lovely white lace christening gowns on and a lace bonnet that tied with a blue satin ribbon. She was beautiful and I can still remember how she smelled; kind of sweet like baby powder. My folks didn't have much money but managed to buy what was an extravagant gift for a 9 yr old and I took very good care of her and took her with me everywhere. I pushed her around in a little baby buggy they also gave me that year. I still have my baby doll (her name is Victoria). Her lace gown is long gone but she is in great condition and I am saving her for my little girl. She is safely packed away until I know my daughter is old enough to take good care of her.

Now what on earth is a Nab?

Gotta go get ready for yet another party. This is church one, too and we will be fixing up boxes to take to our adopted church in Matamoros, Mexico. Fun, fun, fun.....

I think I caught the Christmas feeling today and am pretty cheerful. I have been a bit concerned though about the flu outbreak here in Texas. I am wondering if I should get my children the vaccine (or if it is even still available). I am going to try calling the CDC on Manday and get all the info. If any of you other nurses know more, please share. I heard on the news that the vaccine doesn't include this bad flu that killing children but that better to get a shot anyway. What I am wondering is if it is an attenuated vaccine or a killed one. Can the kids actually get the flu from the shot? I have heard they can and that they can't. Don't know what to believe? I want to be a responsible parent. I have been very carelful and tried to keep them out of crowds (very hard this time of year) and use alot of hand sanitizer when we are out.

Well, I think I will go lay down by the Christmas tree and listen to some music for a bit before Babt Girl wakes up from her nap. Sorry to make anyone jealous, but the weather here is just this side of heaven (cool, dry and wonderful)!

Have a great evening!


December 13, 2003 - Msg 17661: (The time at the southern end of the porch is now 9:30 pm, give or take a few. Banjo Jerry groans and sits up, he has been laid out as stiff as a carp all night and all day, and....oh, what's that?....Okay...Jerry wants to know if County Nurse, or anyone for that matter, will kindly mix him up one of Otis's Hangover cures and administer it to him.
What?....oh yes, he also says to be sure to say hello to everyone on the porch, and he will be more able to communicate after he has gotten in touch with his inner HUAAGGGGHHHHH...)
This has been a test of the Banjo Jerry broadcast system, reminding you to not Drink and the porch, that is!

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17662: Dippity Doo and Bonnet hair dryers--Yup! Used 'em both. My old standbys though were pink foam rollers with pink plastic clips on them. They were sof t enough to sleep on. Thanks for your generosity, Mr. D's cuz! Anyone else ... be sure to reread my MSG 17596 if you could help Bill Wilson out before Christmas.
Question: What was Andy's favorite kind of pie? I can think of more than one answer to this one. Any takers?
I've known him since Hector was a pup.
Why, he's older than dirt.
She's dumber than a post.
I'm sure I've got some others!
Charlotte Tucker

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17663: Hello all, are we all recovered from the party last night? It's sleeting on my end of the porch and colder than blue blazes.. hows that for a saying? Mavis.. where ya been girl? Today was the last day of the hunting season and I have a husband again! He killed a very nice 10 point today too! I hope everyone is warm and safe and hopefully sober tonight. And can someone do something about Asa and those hiccups he's been having? Maybe have him inhale in front of a fan. See ya'll later--Salty Q Dog

December 13, 2003 - Msg 17664: Burp!


December 14, 2003 - Msg 17665: salty q. dog=== if asa inhales in front of a fan it could suck him in. auh20. mrs wiley, hazel, mary wiggins and the rest of the ladies society isn't it time to straighten everyone up before monday and especially in front of rev this morning? wasn't he tripping the light fantastic at spot's party? charlotte tucker== at the christmas party would you save me a dance?we could dance right on the middle porch. Iheard they were going to move the party to a secret location to keep some of us out, too rowdy don't you know. i think andy's favorite pie was apple with vanilla ice cream. while everyone's asleep may i book all the dances in advance? no wonder i"m getting a lump of coal this year, i can't be good even when i sleep. ho! ho! ho! wake up mayberry girl you've been drafted again. pipeman

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17666: I got a fistula
You got a fistula
All God's children got a fistula? LOL
Actually I have no clue. Just funnin ya.

She's as purty as a speckled pup.

Goin back to sleep now.
fun girl

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17667: Just had a thought hit me. About the best Christmas gift. I must have been about 9 and I got a toy dog that had a radio inside it. I loved that thing. I guess I must have been a pomeranian or something. It had long hair that dragged the ground when you set it down. If you unzipped the stomach inside was a radio and where you replaced the batteries. It had nobs on the outside where you could tune it and control the volume. I remember sleeping with it Christmas night. I fell asleep with it on and the batteries were shot when I woke up.

I still look back fondly on that radio/dog. One year my grandma made us pillows. They had animal patterns on them. You bought them at the fabric store and took them home and sewed them and stuffed them. Grandma has been gone for 13 years now and I sure wish I still had that pillow.

fun girl

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17668: fun girl== i remember both the radio's and the animal patterns. always remember that pillow and your special grandmother will always be special and live thru your sharing stories like this. thanks.. pipeman

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17669: Woooo Hoooo. I just heard our men caught Saddam Insane! Yipeeeee!


December 14, 2003 - Msg 17670: Asa, I think we can use Barney's bullet now.

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17671: Whoo-hoo, yippie!! They got him hiding in his "hidie-hole". The locals are calling him "a woman" for not putting up a fight. Good Job USA!! ~ Mrs. Wiley

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17672: Are ya'll sure? Seems like that Sadaam is pretty slippery (not to mention greasy).

I remember radio dogs but hadn't thought of them in years! Thanks for the memory. DO you ladies remember those plastic poodles with bubble bath inside of them you you could get at the five and dime store? How about those "Book Of Lifesavers"? Does anyone remember Skinny Dip perfume? When I was in the 5th grade I think every girl in my class got a bottle of it at the Christmas party (pew-wee).

Gotta go.......


December 14, 2003 - Msg 17673: asa=== they took sadam out of his last palace. wonder who will move in to the luxary hiddey hole. skinny dip perfume and dippity doo, did that attract a lot of suitors, i know your natuaral beatuy and charm would even with that concoction. come on spot and banjo jerry, and the darlins, we need some cele brating music, who is sponsoring this shin dig tonight? pipeman

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17674: Yep, I remember the poodles with bubble bath. You just brought up another sweet memory of my grandma. Every year at Christmas she gave all the grands a Lifesaver Sweet Storybook. Even once we got growed she continued to give them as it had become a tradition. How about the big fat Bonne Bell lip gloss, and some of them came on a cord you wore around your neck. Or Avon bubble bath that came inside a plastic doll and you pulled the head off and unscrewed the cap. Did anyone have the Avon powder container that was in the shape of a bunny and the tail was the powder puff?
Every year in middle school my best friend would buy me Sweet Honesty for Christmas. Ahhh, sweet memories.
fun girl

Guess it will be a morale booster for the service men and women now that they caught that low down snake Sadam.

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17675: You bet, its a happy day and one to remember!

Yes, fun girl, I remember those fat Bonne Bell lip gloss things. I got Dr Pepper flavored one year and I loved it! I didn't have the bunny powder but had the bubble bath from Avon alot and the different lip glosses inside of containers shaped like Oreo cookies and such. Remember the little pins that were filled with solid perfume? I remember getting a little white bird filled with a perfume called Patchwork and it smelled so good! You know, when I was a little girl, sometimes in the winter on those colder days, my mom would fill a nice, warm tub for me and put in some Skin-So-Soft bath oil when I came in from playing outside at the end of the day. The smell of that bath oil takes me back to simple, secure times.

Well, I have been traveling down Memory Lane long enough. I have cookies to bake!


December 14, 2003 - Msg 17676: Whoooeee! They pulled the Devil out of his hole! I just hope nobody goes crazy and puts a bullet in him right now. That would make him a martyr in the minds of a lot of people. Better that he be held humanely (something he won't understand), tried in a fair court, and then put in a solitary hole for the rest of his miserable, unnatural life. No need in anyone trying to take revenge on him now - God will take care of that, in His own good time.

Mr. Darling's Cuz, I know what a fistula is. There are two kinds - the kind that just occur and usually cause trouble, and the kind that are surgically created, usually for the purpose of allowing access for dialysis. I imagine that's the kind you mean. Why do you ask?

My son and his sweet wife dedicated their baby, my newest grandson, to the Lord at church today. As Baptists, we don't christen our babies, but most churches do provide for a dedication service, during which the parents promise to raise the child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. It's a sweet time.

Boo, thanks again. The lights are perfect, and you were so kind to go to the trouble to box them up and send them to me. Thanks to you, there will be no burned-out bulbs on my tree! Thanks also for the card with the pictures of Sean and Erin. They're such cute kids!

I hope TVLand will run the Christmas Story during the season. That scene with old Ben looking in the window at the court house, and singing along with the carols, just makes me puddle up every time. Such a sweet scene!

Sugarplum says hey! --Romeena

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17677: Oh, I think I may have shared this last year, but while we are on the Avon subject, do any of you remember the blue "magic" lipstick that came in a plastic peanut? It looked blue but once you put it on your lips it turned a bright pink. My Dad had a blue collar job and worked outside most of the time so his lips got chapped in the winter. Mom gave him the peanut before he went to work and told him that it was colorless. Well, you can guess what happened when he went to work (totally clueless) with bright pink lips! Poor Dad.

Gotta run......

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17678: Hi Ro! I didn't see you there on the porch.

I am so glad the lights worked for you and I am pleased they arrived so soon. I thought it might take awhile this time of year.

So happy to hear about your grandbaby's dedication. What a blessing to know she will be raised to know about Jesus!

I have the TAGS Christmas ep on tape and have been waiting for just the right moment to watch (when I am alone or just with Bruce). I sure do love my children but they make TV watching difficult!

Well, Baby Girl found a pen somewhere and just took off in the other room with it so I better go find her.


December 14, 2003 - Msg 17679: congrats ro on the dedication. boo= i have that andy christmas tape one of my favorites, i'll bring it to supper tonight if anyone's going to cook, oh so hungry. dashing thru the snow looking for the party. tis the season. pipeman

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17680: The Christmas ep will be on sometime next weekend, during the TV Land "Merry-thon". That's when they show the Christmas episodes of all those great shows. All in all, it's a good time!
- Hazel

Barney: "Merry Christmas. ho ho ho

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17681: I must confess - I have the Christmas ep on tape, too - two copies, to be precise. One home tape and one professional tape. However, as much as I enjoy my tapes, there's just a certain "draw" to watch them as they're shown on TV. I am at a total loss to explain that, but to watch them on tape takes a bit of the "aha, I got lucky" out of watching them. Silly, I know, but I long ago got over worrying whether something I was doing or thinking was silly. At my age, what are you gonna do - shoot me? (teehee)


Have a great week, friends. Is everyone through with their Christmas shopping? (ha!) Sugarplum says hey! --Romeena

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17682: I feel the same, Ro. I mean, I like Bonanza and all, but sheesh!
I need my Dick Van Dyke, Hazel, TAGS, Mr. Ed, Bewitched, etc!
- Hazel

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17683: I think the Lord must be giving me sweet memories of Grandma Rosie through my friends on the porch. The Skin So Soft chat brought tears to my eyes, as silly as that sounds. Her back bathroom always smelled so strongly of it. Every time I smell it, I can see her smile, hear her laugh, and see her sweet face. I miss her so much. And as with all loved ones who are gone, I think of her so much during the holidays.

Boo, how "young" are you, if I may ask. We seem to remember many of the same things. Roger on the peanut lip gloss and also the solid perfume in a pin.

Friends, I have a new email address. The old one was acting up something fierce and so I am now with yahoo. Here she is--
thats supposed to be ten-four, but I hit O instead of a hyphen. I have not gotten email on my old address since right after I mailed the "Back to Mayberry" tapes. So if anyone has tried to reach me and not gotten a response, that's the reason. Ro, did you get the photo I sent with the tape?

Gonna run now and do the drudge work (laundry) so I can get to the fun stuff (making cookies).
Later friends,
fun girl

December 14, 2003 - Msg 17684: Hey Hazel, long time no see, girl. How are things out at Old Man Kelsey's ocean? You gonna make it to Mayberry Days again? I hope to get there next year, after missing it this year because of financial problems and other interferences. Boy, life sure gets in the way of our fun, huh? Y'all have a great Mayberry day, and Merry Christmas to all here in Mayberry.


December 14, 2003 - Msg 17685: Fun girl, I'm not sure what the heck you were talking about, but it's uvula! Not fistula! Did I miss some other conversation or something?? About the fabric animal beloved grandmother made me a blue teddy bear one when I was five. That bear was mended many many times. My mom even put a huge bowtie on the front of him once to cover the threadbare places. Finally he was so bad that around high school she finally convinced me to let her recover him with the same blue teddy bear fabric. That bear knew my life story. There were many tear stains on him. He went to college with me. I finally retired him when I got married, but how I loved that Teddy!
Charlotte Tucker