December 19, 2003 - Msg 17874: And before you ask Asa, no the owner who lived deep in the woods was not named "Old Man Kelsey."
Still got my humor. Good to know I have not lost it.

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17875: Hey guys and girls!..look dont know the mayo in the crowder peas till ya tried it!..hey fun girl, pipeman.MD"CUz,counth nurse, possum.asa, great day here in the southern end , sunny and 45..the deer roast will be ready at 6, and might thaw out a mess of fresh [last years garden] crowder peas so yall can try some mayo in them, hot sauce too!..signed:Spot the"cook of the porch" dog of the porch

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17876: hello porch== a little frosty on the porch tonight. weather is 18 degrees, snow on the ground at 4pm. i was thinking (dangerous i know) about two questions today. 1. what was the funniest christmas gift or most unuaual one. 2. with 11 days before new years, anyone made any new years resolutions yet? pipeman, love to one and all.

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17877: are we gona have a new years celebration on the porch?..signed: Spot the "like to have partys" talking dog of goobers..

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17878: Poor Asa, I do pick at him so! (see messages
17873 and 17874. The first one is in the archives.
See, I swept and didn't even know it.

fun girl

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17879: fun girl== looks like your feeling better, i'm so glad.just saw on et a reminder of the interview with andy on weekend e.t. asa, sterling, mdc,banjo jerry, i always appreciate your posts and you guys are the best dess, salty dog, saltyq, i just didn't want you not to know what a great assest you and others are to me, even though i don't always respond individually i miss you when you don't post. spot== i think we ought to get a christmas and new years party going, last major party till easter. pipeman

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17880: ok ladies let the fellows throw you a valentine party. what do you thunk fellars? pipeman

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17881: Ok guys and gals the deer roast is done , roasted taters, and turnip greens, somebody bring the sweet tea, and we are set..signed Spot the " supper serving " dog of the porch! dig in!

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17882: I think you folks are a party all the time! And I'm right proud to be part of the Mayberry family.

Spot, for years my family has made a side dish with canned black-eyed peas, chopped onion, diced tomato and mayo. It's great! Is that something like what you're talking about with the crowder peas and mayo? It works best with canned peas, the boiled dried ones don't drain well and don't work. We serve it with ham, greens and sweet potatoes a lot. Gooood!

I had parts of a peach pie and a cherry pie left from a gathering a few days ago, and knew I shouldn't eat it. I put it in a tin plate and set it out in the back yard. Well, you should have seen the critter convention! The birds and squirrels flocked around that tin until you couldn't even see it. I don't think they even left anything for the ants. Fun to watch.

Well, gotta run. Sugarplum says hey! --Romeena

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17883: Hey are we gona draw names for the Christmas party? signed: Spot the "Wana have a Christmas and New Years party" talking dog of the GREAT porch..

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17884: Hey Sugarplum and Ro!..don know about yer dish , we always just [when serving field peas or butter beans] put them in a seperate bowl with juice and "dobble" a spoon full of mayo in them and stir up !signed: Spot the "Mayo dobbling" talking dog..

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17885: pipeman, my DIL and her mother and I were out shopping a couple of days ago, and we happened to get on an elevator with an elderly gentleman. He was very kind and polite, and I'm sure is someone's grandpa or favorite uncle, but he REEKED! Please tell me you smoke one of those sweet, "cherry-flavored" pipe tobaccos. I don't know what that poor fellow had been smoking, but I think he either bought it in a bait shop, or scraped up the sawdust from a bar room floor. It stunk!! Now, I'm not a smoker, don't like the odor of cigarettes or cigars, but I must admit I do rather like the scent of a sweet pipe tobacco, at times. I just know that's what you smoke. Please, please tell me it is!! (teehee) --Romeena

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17886: I think I saw pipeman put some of the turnip greens at supper in his pipe...signed: Spot the"Full of greens and roast" dog of the porch

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17887: romeena== everyone always tell me they love the sweey slightly campfire smell. it's a specially blended mixture for me. how does that sound? spot, i'm worried about what you put in your bowl at supper tonight, i say you saw me put inferior tobaco in one of my expensive briar, shame of it all. tee-hee. pipeman

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17888: I did"nt have my specks on pipeman, I was full up to my eyeballs with deer roast [sorry]..signed: Spot the" No see no spell" but talking dog of the porch !

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17889: pipeman, I'd say that sounds okay. I'm not much of an expert on pipe tobacco, I just know that some of it smells nice and homey, and some of it just plain stinks. Whatever that poor fellow on the elevator had been smoking, just stunk. Stank. Stinked. Whatever, it was awful. And he seemed like such a nice man, too. I'll bet with your nice briar pipe, and a special blend of tobacco, your pipe smoke is not unpleasant at all.

Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17890: Yum that deer roast hit the "spot" tee hee. Now I have tried mayo (Dukes is the only kind) on my pinto beans but never on the crowder peas. I had a friend who used to eat mayo on saltine crackers. I never could get into it, but it was like a midnight snack for her. Hope you guys are warm tonight, it's down to 23 here and snowing AGAIN! I'd build us a camp fire, but I'd hate to catch the snow on fire. Ya'll be safe and warm love ya's all--Salty Q Dog

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17891: Salty Q D, I eat mayo on celery for a snack [kraft]..dip friench fries in mayo . im a mayo and hot sauce freak, and yer welcome for the deer roast..think I will cook some french toast for breakfast if yall want some..30 degrees here and light[very light] snow.hey Ro, and Boo , and pipeman.seems like so many people are not on the porch [guess its to cold].goober gave me fresh water [mine was froze]..pipeman what is a BRIAR pipe?...signed: Spot the"no not about a briar pipe" dog of the great porch.!

December 19, 2003 - Msg 17892: Goodness! You and that mayo, Spot! I guess when you get sick you go to the Mayo clinic too!;)
I'll try some of that french toast, Spot, thank you! long as there's no mayo on it. :)
-Sterling Holobyte

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17893: Make that two french toats. With extra coffee on the side gonna be cold in the morning--SQD

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17894: Three French toasts, pleases. Hold the mayo. Just a very light sprinkle of powdered sugar. (Don't tell my diabetes, please.) --Romeena

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17895: Pleases? Good grief! -- Romeena

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17896: 'OK' 'OK" three french toast no mayo [clinic]extra coffee and I think I will put a few slices of thick sliced jimmy dean hickory smoked bacon in the pan..and OJ for me.guess it will be Ro,SQD,Mr.Sterling for breakfast sat morn!..sleep well all.hey fg,hm,Boo,county nurse,asa,aint we missin people?..signed:Spot the "Gona feed 3 friends in the morning" dog of the porch !!

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17897: Mornin'! I woke up early and remembered that it's trash day and the cans weren't out, so there I went in my nightshirt, coat and tennis shoes, draggin' the cans out to the curb. It is in the 40's here, which is pretty chilly to a Texan. Supposed to be a beautiful 70 degrees after the sun comes up, though.

The wedding rehearsal went well (lots of laughs). My 2 year old little flower girl walked down the isle like she was supposed to and my 8 yr old is going to make a fine groomsman. He did, however make a face when the little 7 yr old bridesmaid took his arm so he could walk her down the isle. Hope they do what they are supposed to do during the wedding!

Hold the french toast, I just had a piece of pumkin pie for breakfast. heehee

Well, I have been trying to think of my worst Christmas gift and I can't think of anything really awful. I do remember a certain purse that my mother-in-law gave me one year that she painted a flower on. Now, I really thought it was ugly but at the same time it was special because she painted it for me. My sister used to kid me about it and ask me when I was going to use it but I never did (shame on me). I have also received some really interesting gifts from my little boy (like rocks and sticks...) all wrapped up and taped with LOTS of tape. I loved everyone of them, though. Yesterday he got a Christmas goodie bag from a friend and it had a little plastic ornament with a picture of the nativity in it. He took the time to wrap it up nice and give it to me. He said he knew I would love it, and you know, I did! It is hanging in a place of honor on the tree. It really is the thought that counts and no one was ever a more cheerful giver than my son. God bless the little sweetheart.

I think I'll go back to bed for a bit. Hubby is sick with a cold and will be in bed hibernating (sp?) all day so I better rest while I can.


December 20, 2003 - Msg 17898: Oh, I did have a friend who's family drew names for Christmas gifts and one year her brother-in-law gave her one of those bean-bag ash trays. Remember those? The gift was worth about a dollar and my friend didn't even smoke. Talk about putting no thought into a gift!


December 20, 2003 - Msg 17899: Morning porch pals, here - get under this blanket, it's COLD outside! I remember those bean-bag ash trays! We had 2 of them (my Dad smoked).

I'll pass on the french toast this am, had the yummiest Cajun/BBQ dinner last night, Big Jeff sure can pick the good eats (no wonder...). Even splurged and had carmel apple pie a'la'mode for desert - De-Lish! Ro, I can just picture those critters going after the leftover deserts. Hope there's no CAT lurking when they're feasting. I think the worst present I ever got was last year - my Mom gave me an Iron. No Ironing Board, just the Iron. UGH!! I hate to iron and the very few things I have that require it, I take to the dry cleaners. Funny present story: Same year, Mom gave me a photo album. It was box-like, with pretty roses all over it. Since she gets me one about every other year, I didn't take it out of it's celophane right away. Actually, it wasn't until the following April that I looked at it closer - was going to give it away. I notoced that the celophane was torn just the least little bit. To my surprise, Mom had hidden some hard candy and some pistashios inside! When I called her to tell her, she said she had wondered why I never thanked her for the goodies.

~ Mrs. Wiley
"A CAT!?"

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17900: Boo, your story about the goodie bag from your son reminds me of Kyle's first day of kindergarden. The p.e. teacher gave each of the kids a chocolate chip cookie. Well Kyle came home and handed me this huge handful of paper towels. (You rememeber... the brown scratchy kind we had in school?) Well after I unwound it, inside I found a chocolate chip cookie, minus one bite. Wow, I have two eyes full of tears just thinking about it. Talk about a gift of love...and such a sacrifice for a six year old boy, who LOVES chocolate chip cookies. It wasn't Christmas on the calender, but it sure was Christmas in both of our hearts.

Have a good 'un!
fun girl

Thanks to Spot the grit and egg making dog of the south end of the porch. They were delish!

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17901: Hey FG, how ya feeling? Better I hope.

word for the day: Delish!

~ Mrs. Wiley

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17902: GOOD MORNING PORCH, BURR=== BOO- PRAYERS for your hubby, a lot of flu going around here and sinus. you know that brother-in-law might have the last laugh because ash tray's are highly collectible and gaining value. wouldn't it be something if it became worth about a thousand bucks?pipeman

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17903: SALTY Q>= snow catch on fire. say that is a funny one as our floyd would say... STERLING... i cracked up at the mayo clinic, ill bet floyd is really laughing too. sugar plum--- nice, homey and snuggly blend sounds like a good description to me. not bragging but that's what i'm told and when strangers compliment you and linger when they don;t have to. spot(the don't play with pipeman's sticks, cookin good) dog morning. pipeman

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17904: I don't know if I have a "weird" Christmas gift memory. My most special Christmas gift was when I was in the fourth grade. My family had just moved to Idaho from Arizona about 2 weeks before and we didn't know anybody here. It was December 4th, exactly 3 weeks before Christmas. My dad was outside, with my brother, burning some trash. (remember those days when people used to burn trash in barrells). Anyhow, something went wrong, some gas spilled on my brother and he caught on fire. Dad had to throw him to the ground and put out the flames. They rushed him to the hospital, and he was burned over a fourth of his body, He was in intensive care for 2 weeks, then moved to a regular burn room. My sister and I weren't allowed in intensive care, so when my parents went up there to see him, if we weren't in school, we would have to sit in the hospital lobby and wait. It was a terrible time, and my sister and I sure got tired of entertaining ourselves in that hospital lobby. As it was getting close to Christmas, my parents begged the doctors to please let him come home for Christmas, and we were allowed to get my brother home for 3 days, and then he had to go back. Mom had to sanitize the house, and we had to take special steps in order for him to come home, but it worked. I will never forget how happy we all were that on Christmas day that year because we did not have to spend it in the hospital. I can still see my brother sitting in a chair, with a body cast on, as we opened up his presents for him. I have no memory of what anybody got that year. Our gift was my brother, who would have to face many more weeks in the hospital, and many skin grafts, but he was alive, and home for Christmas.
- Hazel

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17905: Boy, Hazel's talkative today. Another cool gift I got for Christmas was a "pickle" tree ornament. Its ceramic, and looks just like a pickle. My niece gave it to me a couple years ago. Her favorite TAGS ep is "The Pickle Story", and she has watched it many times with me at my house. That would be my most sentamental gift.
- Hazel

"No doubt about it, that's a pickle".

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17906: What a wonderful story Hazel. Aren't those Christmas memories jusy great?
Hey, I'm hungry here this morning. Can I join y'all for breakfast? I'm a light eater in the mornings so it won't be a big bother. Maybe 3 eggs, sunnyside up, bacon, on the juicy side, hash browns, toast on white, stack of waffles, and a glass of Orange juice. Thanks.
Hey Fun Girl, you can pick on me any time you like. I know that means you love me. LOL
Hey Salty Q. Dog. How about yaco's? You still like them? LOL
There is a local fast food place here in Utah that came out with a fry sauce years ago that is delish. They have a secret ingridiant they add but it is mostly mayo and ketchup mixed together. Pretty good stuff for your freedom fries if you ask me.
Well I am off to get the last minute shopping done. I think I have eveyone here at the porch all gotten. Now don't you go thinking just cause I bought you all something that you have to buy me anything. Thats not how it works! Just cause I went and borrowed money to get you all nice gifts cause I love ya and wanna show it, don't feel like you have to go and get me anything. Just cause I went shopping for you, something I can't hardly stand to do, don't feel that you OWE me any thing. I'll be fine just seeing your faces light up on Christmas morning when you open the gifts that I bought for YOU just cause I love you all so much.


December 20, 2003 - Msg 17907: Oh, brother.
- Hazel

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17908: hahahahaha! ~ Mrs. Wiley

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17909: Asa you are a bird in this world... and we love you too--SQD

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17910: Hazel, what a story! How old was your brother, and how is he now? That must have been terribly difficult for your whole family, but how lovely that you at least got to spend Christmas together.

Thinking back over the years, I can remember some really funny gifts, but I think my favorite would have to be the house slippers my children gave me one year. My husband took the kids shopping, and was determined to let them make the choice. He said it was hard to stick to that when they finally settled on the house slippers. You see, they were high-top, furry, tiger-feet booties, complete with claws! Not hard claws, just light-colored fur sewn in the appropriate places, but claws nevertheless. Definitely not the most glamorous house slippers I ever owned. I opened the package, swallowed hard and suppressed the whoops of laughter that were trying to escape. My husband was looking at me with an expression that clearly said "Please just let me live." I didn't dare laugh, because my children's faces were so serious, and my oldest son declared that "they're just so beautiful, we knew you'd love them." Even then, they understood my love for animals. Well, I put the shoes on, and wore them that day, and every winter for about 173 years. I thought they'd never wear out! Funny thing, though, I was kinda sad when they finally did. You know, I'd take another pair of those shoes over a septic tank anytime!

Well, off I go. Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17911: Asa, it sounds like you like your bacon cooked the same way I do, sorta on the "limp" side. I've never understood wanting bacon cooked until it crumbles. I know, I know, it's better for you that way, but I prefer flavor to dietary correctness every time! I like rare beef, too. My husband once said he thought that given the chance, he might be able to resuscitate my steak. Now I want a pork chop pretty well done, and chicken the same way, but not cooked to the point of dryness. Bacon, though, should bend when you hold a slice vertically. Right, Asa?

Now I really gotta run. Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Rkomeena

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17912: wow what beautifull stories== hazel was that pickle soaked in k-1 kerosene each year? asa== i was eating and laughed so hard that i swallowed a cookie the wrong way it's still trying to get situated. ro== i hear if something is over done that you hook an iv up to it and it's great eating. star trek will not iron not one thing, so one christmas after the kids were grown i bought her a top of the line iron and ironing board for christmas wrapped it real pretty and hid her real gift, when she opened it she looked at me and said i still ain't ironing. in all fairness in the military i wouldn't let anyone iron my clothes except me. i still find those wash and dry uniforms a bit tacky, standing tall and lookin good isn't easy. ro== if something is over cooked i hear if you hook up an iv and have sugarplum watch it- it comes out juicy and tender. pipeman

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17913: Hey Gang!..glad ya liked breakfast!..Look gona put on a big pot of stew for supper tonight in the crock pot..beef tips and potatoes and stuff [no mayo].hey Boo,Ro, pipemsn,fg,hazel,sterling,Mrs Wiley,yall come over for a bowl of stew later, will one of you ladys make a pon of cornbread?..40ish here in old Ga.,not to bad,water in my bowl still froze last night , will someone change it?hey sugarplum!and asa and all else.signed: Spot the "Caint wait for Christmas,got to finish shopping ,stew cooking,try not to pick at pipeman,prayer saying for all in need" talking dog of the southern end of the porch ..ruff ,, ruff

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17914: well gang had a very close friend of mines Mom pass thu. going to the funeral home now ..will check back in a bit at supper time..signed: Spot the "sad for my friend" dog of the southern end...

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17915: hyhgf mk lkf,jdk kfjd lk;d mdkj nkjghdgnfidjngmnjgndgmnkgmdjm kljfhgmhgi f fgh,f hflhlhgklhmf;lhjgld;grkgokrhpohppog lgr ogdhl;dl;d;dlhk;ldhlbfh., mgklmhmgkbmkbfgmbhj[ijgkfdjlkdjjhiohjdgkhgmhldgmgdmgdgdfkgdflkgklgkfgklfdlgkdlkgfkggfg gggdfgkdfmglker kert lekrgl gdlgfdg dklgdfklklgkdkjdioyujtm ,.djmhpfmhtk09h67k0779oujmgc,hm hkhldjh'fkljhkl;gjhglkhjflkhjglkfjhgh ghkg hk lkhf hkghgkhlfhgbn

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17916: easy for you to say....
Hey to the Porch.

-- Jelsik

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17917: Good one, Jelsik! lol!
-Sterling Holobyte

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17918: 17915 must not be from around here. I'll bet I know where he's from...somewhere's else.

Spot, I'll bring some cracklin cornbred for those beef tips - sounds warmin'.

I think my favorite Christmas present was 3 years ago, just after my ugly divorce. I had nothing. So my present to Jesus was taking an elderly man (91) out for dinner Christmas Eve. I had helped him throughout the year with his computer. He wasn't the nicest of people either, but his children had abandonded him, his wife died the year before, and although he refused to tell me, I knew he had cancer. We enjoyed some good food, a glass of wine and each others' company. There was a live guitar player playing "Oh come, Oh come Emanuel". I should have tipped him a quarter. :-) It was simple, free of presents and the typical commercialism. A cherished memory to be sure!

~ Mrs. Wiley

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17919: spot== prayers for you and you friends loss. remember were here. jelsik== i've been asking if anyone had heard from you. it's good your back to keep us straight. mrs wiley== thanks for the story. the world has so many wonderfull people and your really are special, we love you. for years i've kept and add stories like that to scrap books, i call ordinary people in ordinary times. since spot's busy i guess left overs are in the works, a heck of a way to send the decorated, singing brown truck out to start deliveries. pipeman

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17920: Romeena, my brother was 13 when he got burned. He's 51 now. He's got some scars behind one ear, and under his chin, and on his legs, most of which those of us that know him don't even notice anymore.
Hey, TV Lands Merrython is showing the Andy Christmas ep tomorrow night at 7:30 p.m. Eastern time. Let's all watch it at the same time, shall we? Asa, that's 5:30 our time! Like Boo said, it'd be fun to know we are all watching at the same time. That could be our summit meeting!
- Hazel

"Those of us who chart the course of history, shall forever remain nameless"

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17921: let's keep those we haven't heard from in a long time in our prayers. asa= you heard from lawerence lately? mdc== have you heard from shoe? wonder where banjo jerry, mavis, brisco darling, ed sawyer and others are? with so many great friends it's easy to overlook those who haven't been around in awile. pipeman

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17922: ky moonshiner, check in we miss you. pipeman

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17923: Had a wonderful time at our church Christmas party. For the white elephant gift exchange fungi bought a Homer Simpson Chia Head. Got a lot of laughs.

Prayers for Jeff and his marital situation. God knows what is best. Jeff's a dear sweet man and if things don't work out with his wife, I would love to have him for a brother-in-law. He is good people.

Off to bed.
Nighty night.
fun girl

December 20, 2003 - Msg 17924: Is msg17915 one of ours? I bet it's one of them interlopers. It's gonna be a cold night tonight. Down to 20 already. Is there any of that stew left over? I'd sure like some. I'll even fix my own corn bread if it's all gone. You all stay warm tonight-- SQD

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17925: What a sweet story about Kyle, fun girl. Those boys sure love their mamas, don't they? They wouldn't give up a cookie for anyone else.

Thanks for your prayers, pipeman. My husband is "honking" in the other room as I write this but is feeling better.

Hazel, we have very similar Christmas stories. When I was in grade school, my older brother who was 19 was going to college in California. He started having severe headaches and other progressive neurological symptoms and it was determined that he had a brain tumor, and the drs said it was a bad one. In just a few weeks time he lost his ability to speak or reason. My Dad flew out to California to be with my brother because he was going to need surgery. The doctors told my dad that they were almost sure that it was cancer. They did the surgery and removed a tangerine-sized tumor and it was benign. No cancer and as soon as the tumor was out he could speak and began reasoning again. My dad said that the best sound he ever heard was my brother yelling, "My head hurts!" as they were wheeling him from the OR to the recovery room. Anyway, he continued to improve and when he was able, he flew home to us for Christmas. I can still see him in his pajamas and no hair sitting by the heater. We were so very thankful that year. My brother is 55 now and is a college professor in California. He has never had another problem except that he lost some of his vision due to the surgery but it hasn't slowed him down any. Now THAT was a great Christmas!

Ya'll are really funny tonight!

Thanks for the tip about the Christmas Ep, Hazel.. I will be watching along with you.

Well, the nephew's wedding is over and all went well except that baby girl wouldn't walk down the isle. My son was absolutely adorable in that tux, though, and did a great job. Wish you all could have been there. The reception was pretty long but nice. I had alot of laughs with the visiting relatives.

Think I will go get some sleep. Goodnight, friends!


So sorry about your frined's mother, pipeman. God bless the family.

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17926: boo== glad the wedding was a sucess, baby girl sounded like she doesn'i cotton to this whole marriage thing. saw a cartoon on a weddind in our paper. they were at the alter and the minister asked the groom, will you take this woman well the man was spechless. finally bride with hands on hips looked at him and said. it's a simple answer either you say yes or you die, it's not rocket science. sqd== i'll bet that message was from one of those big city smart aleks as barn would say.sounds like your weather and the middle porch is the same. pipeman

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17927: oh boo== i forgot to tell you that was spot's friends mother who passed, butisn't it great comfort to know everyone here cares to pray for each other? tell hubby pipeman said milk that cold for all it's worth, however i tried that once and when star trek got tired of it iasked for something else and she said get it then0 isaid but sugar i'm deliours she said you keep it up and it won't be as painfull for you when i hit you with my iron skillet. isn't it wonderfull what home remendy's can do? fun girl== it is funny you should mention homer simpson, i have a large collection of simpson stuff, i love the way they always say oh well were simpsons you know, after ever disaster. pipeman

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17928: breakfast is ready slee[y heads-- eggs, omlets, country ham, sausage lings and patty's fixed all different ways limp, crisp bacon. homemade biscuts, milk gravy, fried taters, hash browns, flap jacks, country syrup&sorgum , coffee, tea, fresh milk (the cows are standing by) tea pepsi coke, mtn dew, of course fresh cold water(if you don't mind pumping it) cheese, fresh fruit open till one, you all come, you hear there is plenty. your pipeman

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17929: Wow pipeman, that sounds like quite the spread. I'm there!
Thanks for the TAGS heads up Hazel, and I think thats a great idea, for us all to be watching that Christmas episode together. We can all pretend we are in the same room, can't we? Sammy will be so excited to meet Sugarplum finally.
And yes Romeena, the bacon has to be limp and juicy to be any good for me. I don't cotton to crispy bacon atallll! LOL
Well I'm headed over to pipemans for a bite. I got all of your presents wrapped last night. Stayed up way late to do them when I should have been sleeping, but I want you all to have a nice Christmas so I didn't mind. And yes, I am tired as can be today, but just the thought of watching your sweet faces light up on Christmas morning when you see your presents is all I need to keep me going. And don't you fret none if you ain't got me anything....yet. There are still a few shopping days till Christmas. But it will be hectic out there and I sure wouldn't want to put anyone in that situation for my sakes. I mean, heck, I'm not worth all that fuss. (sigh) Besides, my enjoyment will be seeing you get your lovely gifts from me. (sigh) So don't go beating yourself's up inside or nothing like that.


December 21, 2003 - Msg 17930: Ha! Asa, Don't worry none, Darlin'. I'm giving you a fruitcake that doubles as a doorstop and I went to the joke shop and bought you one of those remote-control "tooters" (....kind of a state-of-the-art Whoopie Cushion). Now what's the matter with me? I shouldn't have told you what I was getting you. It isn't Christmas yet!


December 21, 2003 - Msg 17931: I haven't had much time to sit on the porch lately. Getting ready for Christmas. I still have a lot to do.

By the way Kitty Hawk/Kill Devils Hill is not that far from Andy's home in Manteo. The weather was bad during the ceremony. They were not able to get the replica of the Wright Brother's airplane in the air.

We got together at my parents house last night. We were finishing our supper when I noticed my 20 mth year old was very quiet in the other room. When we went in he had taken all the Christmas decorations off the bottom of the tree. My aunt loves babies-she said I just want to get a hold of him-my brother said are you kidding-that's like holding a wild cat.

Gotta Go!
County Nurse
Stem, NC

Look at Ole Ben-I bet he is full of the evidence right now.

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17932: Oh friends, you all have me in st-itches this morning! Asa, since you have been such a martyr about buying us Christmas gifts, I have gone out and bought all of you a brand new car. Just go to whatever dealership you prefer and I will have already paid for whichever car you like. (Aren't cyber gifts great?)

Speaking of fruitcake, last night at our white elephant party, my sister brought a fruitcake. Our pastor and his wife are from Australia and I guess Fruitcakes are really popular over there. I mean people really love them. He and Mrs. Pastor couldn't believe that no one likes fruitcake. My dad is the only person I know who really enjoys fruitcake. Besides our pastor and wife I mean.

SDQ, you know what we ought to do to that interloper? You and me...the BIG FREEZE!

Let's all have a party tonight and watch TAGS together. Can't wait to see you all. Hey Ro, are you gonna wear your ear rings? Andy and Opie, they ain't wearing ear rings, but I thought I might. LOL

See ya'll in front of the t.v. tonight.

Later friends.
fun girl

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17933: fun girl== went to the dealership picked out a new car told them fun girl paid for it and i thought i was never going to get out of the straight jacket, and smoke my briar again. cyber cars aren't what there cracked up to be, let me tell you. pipeman

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17934: Merry Christmas all!Just passing thru Mayberry

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17935: Merry Christmas all!Just passing thru Mayberry!

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17936: My stars! You folks are good medicine for a tired old nurse! You are so funny, and so kind and so sweet. fun girl, I thought I'd wear earrings tonight, so go ahead, if'n you want to. It won't matter what Andy and Opie wear. Everybody will be looking at us anyway. My earrings are big Christmas light bulbs, and they light up. I also have some reindeer antlers, and I thought I'd wear them, too. Do you think that'll be too much?

pipeman, I don't know why you had such a problem. I went over to the local car dealership and told them I'd come to pick up the car that fun girl had paid for, and I had no problem at all. I chose a brand new Cadillac. They let me pick it out, then they just picked it up and put it in a little gift box for me, and I went right on my way. Cute little thing, says "Mattel" right on the bottom of it.

I'm really looking forward to watching the Andy-thon interview tonight, and won't it be fun, all watching it together? Friends - what would we do without 'em? Sugarplum is looking forward to meeting Sammy, so don't forget to bring him along, Asa. She said she'll have some carrots to share with him. Hope he likes 'em.

Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17937: ro= they may have been jealious of my musical decorated brown truck. it's still deer hunting season unless your flying. sure don't want ro to be mistaken for a deer because we need our dear. hey to sugarplum. let's all surprise asa and take up a big cash christmas gift for those aftter holiday does that sound asa. welove you. pipeman

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17938: HO! HO! HO! The wedding is over and the relatives are on their way back home. I sure enjoyed seeing my cousins and their kids (and one aunt and uncle). They were alot of fun, let me tell you.

Think I will clean the kitchen and then start getting ready to watch the TAGS Christmas episode. See ya'll there (in my imagination!).


December 21, 2003 - Msg 17939: I'm bringing the popcorn and the peanuts and some extra carrots to the shingding tonight. And some pepsi too. Sorry I can't bring anything homemade - I just didn't have time. I been out all afternoon, fighting the crowds, and the mean people, and the honking cars, trying to find Asa his gift. I thought I was all done shopping, until I read his post this morning. Then, whoosh! I was gone to the mall. The check will probably bounce, (sigh), and I really shouldn't have used my charge cards (sigh), but, what the heck, he's worth it.
- Hazel

"Raleigh is where I really belong... Barney Fife in the Asphalt Jungle."

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17940: Ro, I would go with the Christmas light ear rings. You know, up in Raleigh they say understated elegance is best. Glad the Matel dealer was so cooperative and let you take it home right away. Hope they filled it up with gas first. LOL

fun girl

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17941: Oh and if you don't mind, bring the antlers with ya to the party. I'll slip em on there. I ain't got no festive ear rings.


December 21, 2003 - Msg 17942: Well I'll bring some more pepsi and some little debbies I dont think Asa will complain about our little debbies tonight after all, I spent about 5 hours today in the mall, then in Target, then Wally World then back to the mall to find his gift. Even though it was my day off and I had other shopping to do, I bought his gift so he wouldn't feel bad tonight. Looking forward to it, I might be a little late, it's almost 7:30 now, but I'm still wrapping Asa's gift I just hope I got room in the car for it. And I'm wearing earrings as well, hey FG and ro.. if we get there and the others aint wearing earrings we'll just sneak behind the bushes and take em off ok? See ya'll soon--SQD

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17943: Ah, wonderful show. It's on again at 10:30 Eastern time. I love it when Andy and Ellie sing "Away in a Manger". Sniff, that 'un makes me cry.
- Hazel

"There's more than one way to pluck a buzzard!"

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17944: Hi everyone,
Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas.

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17945: previous post by Jeb.

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17946: Wasn't that fun watching TAGS together?! I know what you mean, Hazel. For the first time I got a tear in my eye when I saw Ben looking through the bars and singing Away In The Manger. I just adore that episode-poo!

By the way, I'm wearing earrings, big dangly Christmas trees.


December 21, 2003 - Msg 17947: "Dangly", is that a word?

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17948: Mwerry Christmas to all our Mayberry family. I hope you all have a great holiday, and a prosperous new year.

Emmett & Martha
Them Timers are Tricky Chapter

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17949: Merry Christmas Martha & Emmett! Merry Christmas to the whole dang porch! Glad there's a repeat of the show at 10:30, I missed the gathering. Hope I can rouse up a second gathering for those who may have had to work or just plain forgot to set the timer (like us). I will be serving chocolate angelfood cake and chocolate ice cream. Y'all come on over for desert!

~ Mrs. Wiley

wearin' earrings.

December 21, 2003 - Msg 17950: I plan on watching it again, Mrs. Wiley! Hey to Emmett & Martha. Thanks for stopping by!
- Hazel

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17951: I hate to admit it, but when I watched that episode tonight I also had to choke back a tear(or was that the meatloaf coming up on me again) when old Ben gave out the Christmas presents and was being led to the cell, when Aunt Bee stopped him to give him a plate of fixin's. Kinda hits you right there, don't it?!

Hey, I finished my jig-saw puzzle tonight! For those of you who didn't hear, or were just ignoring me;), I recently bought me a jig-saw puzzle with Barney surrounded by Gomer, Opie, Aunt Bee, Howard Sprague and Andy, all inside an old tv set. If I don't say so myself, it looks pretty good, except maybe for all those squiggly lines all over the place! I'm going to have to write to the company that makes that puzzle and complain, as the picture on the front of the box doesn't have any of those squiggly lines. :)
Well, have a good night all!
-Sterling Holobyte

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17952: Sterling, where did you find that puzzle? I love jigsaw puzzles, and would just really enjoy one like yours.

Wasn't that fun, watching that episode together? I'm glad we girls got to keep our earrings on, and fun girl, those antlers really looked cute on you. It was thoughtful of you to stand in the back, though, cause you'd have been a bit hard to see over. All in all, it was a fun evening, well spent with good friends. Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! (Asa, don't tell Sammy, but the Plum thinks he's pretty cute!) --Romeena

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17953: Hey Ro! I got it at Kmart. They had another TAGS one but that was a painted picture and I wanted the "real thing". Now that I'm done with the other one I kind of wish I would have bought it though. Sniff, Sniff!
-Sterling Holobyte

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17954: good morning porch, smile it's 3am and i let you sleep in an extra hour this morning. ha! sterling== your luck sounds like mine with the puzzel. i've been looking for those puzzels at springfield (the state capitol) k-mart but there out. i would have bought an extra puzzel and painting left them in original pack. anyone catch andy on weekend et.? JEB== could to hear from you, don't be such a stranger. emmett & martha== always good to see you on the porch, sure wish you'd stop by more often. pipeman

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17955: last night's tv party was great but after the show it seemed like everyone caught a cold, cause we all had our hanky's out, taking turns blowing while others could dab that tear from our eyes. isn't it wonderfull how we look after each other? all you ladies sure looked purty last night- it would have been like trying to judge the pageat to picked the queen and the rules won't let us rightfully give one crown to each one of you last night. oh well, as andy said, sometimes you have to put the rule book aside and go with your heart, so a crown for each of you. pipeman

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17956: well the bright, musical, speedy brown truck all set for deliveries tonight after i eat (whose cookin& what are we having?) i'm headed toward the sowthwest first cause it's nice and warm. so if you live in those area's to bed early tonight. (the faster than radar and prettier than any emergency vehicle) pipeman (the briar's are ready for the long night ahead. lol.

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17957: I'm sorry pipeman, but I just can't help myself:

Oh Hail to thee, Miss Mayberry. Oh hail to thee, oh hail
Your loveliness, your majesty, brings joy to every male.

This heart-felt moment was brought to you by ~ Mrs. Wiley

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17958: Morning Porchsters! I was watchin some Andy eps on tape last night and realized I hadn't been by the porch for a few days. Missed ya'll. Been busy Christmasin' --baking, shopping, and going to parties. Today hubby and I are off to a day by ourselves shopping and such. Have a great day!
Charlotte Tucker

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17959: Mornin'! Only a few more days till Christmas. Sooo much to do! Just wanted to say "have a great day!".


December 22, 2003 - Msg 17960: Sorry for not posting in a few days, it is just that soo much has happened. I even debated whether I should post this, but this is yet another why to publicly say thank you and show how much I am grateful for what has happened. I have actually been rather down this holiday season. Around Wednesday or so, I cried about how much I have screwed up in life and now my kids have to suffer with $ tree gifts for Christmas because I didn't have any holiday money. It also got to me how I was raised with well to do grandparents and once they died, their children plundered what was left of the fortune. I realized I missed having things. I remembered how things were at Christmas time and how I can't even provide that for my own kids. So yes I cried and said a prayer that rhymed. That night I had a dream that I had found several $100 dollar bills.

Thursday came and waited till my mother came back with what little cash was left so that I could go shopping for the kids with a friend. I got much $ tree stuff. Wasn't too thrilled that night about it. Just a feeling of "let's get Christmas over with".

Friday came. Didn't seem like any other day until the doorbell rang. There was a man from a church that I have NEVER been to standing at my door. He said he was instructed to deliver the envelope directly to me. I said thank you and shut the door. I cautiously opened the envelope. I immediately went into shock when I saw...several $100 dollar bills. I did run out after this man to thank him, that is when he told me the full story. He said this guy had come in and he nor the staff had seen him before. He handed the money to him with my name and address stating that it was for my kids to have a wonderful Christmas. I was in awe.

After the shock died down just a tad, I called my friend to see if I could get a ride to the store later. Needless to say, per the instructions the money went for my kids. Sure I need a car. Sure the cable bill is going to be late, but I didn't feel the money was was my kids' money. I bought tons of gifts for them. I still have some left, but have it stashed for my kids' future needs. I went to bed with a warm fuzzy feeling that night. To think, my kids will have decent presents this year. I can only think that it was an angel who did this. If not in the giving of the money itself, then nudging in my direction so to speak. However this happened, I know the main source of this miracle came from the Creator.

Saturday came. Still overjoyed and behind on wrapping. I was actually in a wonderful mood. I was in a Christmasy mood. I was doing something in the kitchen when the door bell rang. It was a woman saying that some folks got together and put some things together so my kids may have a better Christmas. She started unloading bags of stuff and two boxes of Christmas snacks and fruits. I was dumbfounded.

Now mind you, my kids are well feed and have clothes on their backs (may being boring clothes but still), etc. so I had no clue the source of this. All this lady said was that a group of them felt 'lead' to help out. By the way, we are not on welfare of any kind and not signed up for any angel tree thing.

So I take the boxes to the kitchen and bags upstairs. I check the bags because I didn't know this person and can never be too careful. My oldest son got 4 outfits, my daughter 3 outfits, and my youngest son got 3 outfits. Plus they each got age appropriate toys and each a stocking full of candies, snacks and activities.

I am amazed by this...and VERY grateful. I just wanted to share this personal story to show that Christmas miracles do happen. AND to say thank you to anyone involved.


~mayberry girl

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17961: Mayberry girl, with this post, you have given a lovely Christmas gift to everyone who reads it. It's a beautiful story, and we all will go into Christmas with a little sweet, warm spot tucked away in our hearts as we think of what happened to you and your family. I pray God's blessings upon whoever was responsible for this, and may it be returned to them tenfold. Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17962: Wow, what an awesome story Mayberry Girl. Kinda gets me right here. (points to eyes and throat)
I am sure that the people who did these wonderful things for you has as warm and wonderful a feeling about it as you do.

I thought we all looked stunning in our ear rings last night. I hope the pictures Asa took of us come out real purty. Let us know Asa, we may want to get copies.

I thought I was nuts last night when I welled up during Ben lip synching "Away in a Manger" and when Ben started handing out the gifts. Glad I am not the only tenderhearted old buzzard on the porch.

Does Sammy think Plum is cute too? Do we hear fur kid wedding bells in the future. Will this romance blossom, or will it go to the DOGS,DOGS, DOGS? Tune in for the next episode of As The Porch Turns.

VICKS VICKS VICKS VICKS VICKS. It just hasn't been mentioned in a while and just thought it might perk us up. LOL

fun girl

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17963: fun girl, you are a hoot! --Romeena

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17964: And here I thought Christmas miracles only happened on tv.
No, not really. I know they do happen in real life and I'm really glad it happened to you Mayberry Girl.
And I agree with Romeena; by sharing your story you have given us all a little of that special feeling of Christmas!
-Sterling Holobyte

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17965: Here's something interesting - at least I think it is. As you know, I now have this wonderful "window on the world", the big picture window in my office that overlooks my back yard, which is Critter Central. At this moment, there are four squirrels, about a dozen doves, another dozen or so grackles, and countless sparrows, all cleaning up the bounty of seed, peanuts and bread scraps that I've put out. Anyway, over the past few weeks, I've realized something about the birds, particularly the grackles. A surprising number of them are missing a foot, or even a whole leg. They're easy to spot, because grackles walk, and the ones who only have one working foot will hop instead. Thus, they are easy to spot. I'm just surprised at how many of them there are. Seems in every group that comes in there will be at least one. Actually, in the group of about nine that are in the yard now, there are two that are missing a foot. I've watched the birds on parking lots and such as well, and there are always some that are missing something. The deformity varies - some seem to have the whole leg, just no toes. Others are missing the skinny lower leg, but have the little "drumstick". There is one who appears now and then who is missing an entire leg, not even a stump is visible. I feel so sorry for them, though they don't seem to let it bother them. They just hop instead of walking, and seem to manage quite well. I wonder what happens to them, how they manage to lose their feet? Anyone care to speculate? Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17966: wow!!! so many tears of joy,mine too. mayberry girl as i've always said it's the oridinary people doing ordinary things that really makes life on earth worthwhile. all the earthly news is focused always on what's wrong never the millions of people who do so many great things, they come in all sizes
, ethnic groups, and age groups. that's what makes each person on this porch fall in this catagory. the porch leaves the world outside and the negativety cause we are trying to live the spirit of mayberry and if more people would try it the world on earth would be fantastic, problems and individual quirks shouldered with love, acceptance and a sense of humor. slow and easy goes the little ole brown truck. pipeman... let's pray for all our busy porchsters who have been busy and not on the porch in awhile.

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17967: ro== star trek and i feed all the critters too. my speculation is that the human race has destroyed the enviorment and crowded out their enviorment probably is the reason for the deformatives. not being negative just facts mam. mrs wiley== good one i always enjoy the way we have fun picking on each other. charlotte tucker== hope you and hubby have a great day together. sterling, asa spot, and all the fellows on the porch-- let's spend the day sitting in front of floyds sitting, talking, and gawking while the ladies hussle around shopping. pipeman

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17968: That sounds like a good idea, pipeman! If the ladies are still shopping this close to Christmas they'd BETTER be hussling! And the smart thing to do would be to stay out of their way! :)
About the birds, Romeena, I'm with pipeman on that one, that it is probably something in the water or their food supply that is causing their deformities, and that's pretty scary! You don't happen to live next to a nuclear power plant, do you?
Either that, or there are some well-fed cats in your neighborhood with an affinity for bird legs.:)
-Sterling Holobyte
-Sterling Holobyte

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17969: oops, I wrote that posting with my twin!
-Sterling Holobyte I

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17970: All I can say I COOL! Mayberry girl, God is certainly shouting a big "I LOVE YOU!" to you and your kids, isn't he?

Ro, I remember hearing about how all the seagulls down here lose legs but for the life of me I can't remember why! I think it had something to do with getting caught in fishing lines (of course that would not apply to your birds). Hmmmmm, interesting.


December 22, 2003 - Msg 17971: Hey Gang! ..hey pipeman,fg,sterling,Boo,Ro,HM,Mrs wiley and all of the porch!..lets have Lobster for supper!..gona go to the market and get a bunch to steam..what chall want with them?..hush puppies?..melted butter?..signed: Spot the "gona go fishing" dog of the southern end of the greatest porch on earth!

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17972: Lobster works for me spot, with some lemon and melted butter. I like em!
Hey Ro, Sammy was infatuated with Sugarplum. He somehow sneaked a picture of her home with him and has hung it up on his kennel wall. He just lays there and looks at her and sighs heavy. Once in a while he scratches his ear. He's a sight!
What a great time we had last night huh? Lotsa fun.
And what a wonderful story mayberry girl. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Now, I fear some of you may have misunderstood some of my earlier posts. I reckon you all figured I was fishing for some presents or something. I don't know how you come up with that idea, y'all are reading to much into it. I never expected anything. I mean it would have been nice and all but I really wasn't planning on anything. I mean just cause I got you all nice things, when I really didn't have the means to, don't mean y'all gotta get me anything. BUT, just in case you did, I wouldn't dream of offending you by not accepting it cause I know how good it feels to give, and I sure wouldn't want to deprive any of you that joy! No need to thank me, thats just the kind of warm hearted feller I am.


December 22, 2003 - Msg 17973: GOT THE dozen of them..will one of you ladys make some sweet tea?..Signed: Spot the "Gona Eat Lobster and drink sweet tea if someone makes it" talking dog of the porch

December 22, 2003 - Msg 17974: Mayberry Girl,

It is not the mistakes we make or encounter in our lives that are wrong, we are human and far from being perfect and if we were perfect, there would never have been a need for the celebration of Christmas, nor the event it represents.

The error is when we learn nothing from our mistakes, and constantly make them over and over.

Have a Wonderful and Blessed Christmas!


December 22, 2003 - Msg 17975: WOW, SOOOOO MANY GREAT STORIES! This old Cuz is back from a biiiiiiiiiiiiiizy weekend of last minute this, that and the other thing. Welcome back Mayberry Girl! Much love to you and yours.
Good to hear from County Nurse too. Ahhh a toddler, what fun!! (haha) Anyone one else here have a CAT do some Christmas tree "decorating"?
I watched my TAGS christmas tape with you all watching the broadcast. Teared up with the rest of ya. Old Ben Weaver was one of a kind!
Think we'll all have a TAGS fan club in Heaven?

Ok, my real true Christmas story I hear happened in a movie recently, but mine is the original:
Very simply, when I was 9 years old in the 60s,
my mom realized that she had no nice napkins for the Christmas dinner the next day, so she sent me to the corner grocery store to get some. Well, this 9 year old cuz saw a box that said 'feminine napkins', so i thought, those would be nice ones
for the christmas table! Well, to make a long story short, the look on my mother's face will forever be burnt in my memory. It was like "very nice honey,but... well it's hard to explain, but needless to say, I made a return trip to the store, and the wonderful clerk helped get the right thing! lol :)
Hazel, what part AZ do you live?
Christmas love to all mayberry fans, and, as county nurse would say, don't drink all the evidence! (Love those epilogues)
Mr Darlin's Cuz