December 14, 2004 - Msg 25746: I for one am so dadburned sick of having to be careful not to "offend" anyone that I'm about to bust. Some idiot who speaks no English but has managed to acquire a car with a loud radio can park next to me with unintelligible music blaring loud enough to wake the dead, and I have to put up with it. Some woman who speaks no English can check into my hospital and have her baby, and insist on an interpreter so she can recite the list of freebies she expects, including a car seat. The same idiot with the loud music can ram my friend's car, injuring her, and he has no insurance and there's not a blasted thing anyone can or will do about it, so her insurance pays and her rates go up. Folks, when and where is it going to stop?? I think we need to elect Ellie to the city council, and see if she can do anything about it. There, pipeman, how's that for a soapbox?

Well, gotta run. Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena

December 14, 2004 - Msg 25747: Whooeee! All that hot air swept the porch! --Romeena

December 14, 2004 - Msg 25748: MDC- I've said this before in a post... I married UP too. The only problem you and I have is if our wives figure out that THEY married down. I won't tell if you won't.

December 14, 2004 - Msg 25749: Well, rev, I think she figured that out a long time ago! haha
pipeman and romeena, I can sure feel the pain in your voices! What do we do? We need to start saying enough is enough and reclaim our country!
Watch and act with Dr D James Kennedy and others.
Voters in eleven states this november said that is enough and passed defense of marriage acts in their states. In Az we just passed a proposition that says no more free services for ILLEGAL immigrants, and show a photo ID to vote.
At work I put a big "Merry Christmas" sign in my area, and if anyone says they are "offended", I just show them photos i took of all the witches etc that they put up at halloween, and it shuts them up.
St Paul said to PRAY FOR WISDOM and it would be given to us.
We got use use the gifts of the Holy Spirit in this age of grace. We have this free 24 hour a day counselor, and no one wants to talk to Him.
What if someone gave you a Christmas gift and you never opened it. A year later, they asked you how you liked the new car that was in front of your house whose keys were in the gift box, and here you had the car towed away cuz you thought it was abandoned there. !!
WE the people CAN make a differnce one person at a time!!
Ok, bloowy goes the soap box!
Merry Christmas and have a great porch evening!
I love ya all
Mr Darlin's Cuz

December 14, 2004 - Msg 25750: JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON

December 14, 2004 - Msg 25751: AMEN 25750!

December 14, 2004 - Msg 25752: MDC, I love the photo idea! I don't have a similar situation where I work, but if I did, I'd surely do that. It's a bit like an idea I had years ago, before smoking was banned or segregated in restaurants. I told my husband I'd like to carry a jar of some foul-smelling substance, and when someone lit up right next to us as we ate, I could open my jar and just dare them to object. Wise husband wouldn't let me do it, of course. He knew he was the one who would end up in the fight, defending me. I still thought it was a good idea!

I wish Texas would pass a law like Arizona did. However, if it happened, I'd probably be out of a job. At least half of our patients are illegals. We have delivered the same woman three times, each time under a different name. The labor nurses recognized her. She has her baby, goes back to Mexico and gets to work on another one. Go figure. Oh, well...

Have a good night, friends. Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena

December 14, 2004 - Msg 25753: In case you're wondering how the nurses recognized her - she has a very distinctive tattoo in a most unusual location. --Romeena

December 14, 2004 - Msg 25754: Dr. Breen, If I had a dime for every time a porchster has said that line to me, I'd be rich. Also --yes, I'm married to that man that fell down a lot. Mayberry Deputy, sorry you didn't like the 3 movie. I'm pretty easily amused I must admit. And since I didn't ever watch Dale Earnhardt race, I had no one real to compare any of the actors to. I am fighting the beginnings of a cold so I'm going to bed. Last night I woke up in the night with a very sore throat. You guessed it--I went and got the VICKS! Vicks, Vicks, it'll fix your sicks! Felt much better this morning. Night, porchsters.
Charlotte Tucker

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25755: No snow here yet, Pipeman. I'd like some. I always say that if we have to have cold weather we might as well have snow to go along with it to make things pretty.

I actually had a clerk at Walmart wish me a "Merry Christmas"! She must not know that it is illegal(or will be, probably). I'm going to try to go to her register any time I go there. I can't stand the "Happy Holidays" schtick! I hate it even more because I don't know if they are saying that because they were told not to say Merry Christmas or because it's just a common greeting nowadays and they don't realize that some are MADE to say it(as opposed to those other words that some people are sooooooooooo afraid of for some reason).

Get well, Charlotte!
And Merry Christmas porch!
-Sterling Holobyte

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25756: Mornin' Y'all! Just checking in to let you know that I am in training for my new job. Mostly right now it is just a lot of sitting & listening to someone read stuff to us-Boring! But.. it's gonna turn out fine! Just gotta suffer through the dull parts.Friday they give us pizza,so it ain't all bad! Ha Ha!
I too,hate the " Happy Holidays" phrase. I had a lady tell me to "Have a Happy Holiday".I felt like being a smart alec and ask her " Which one? Christmas? Kwanzaa? Lincoln's Birthday?" Believe me people,you ain't gonna offend me by saying "Merry Christmas!" So, Merry Christmas Y'all! Have a wonderful day!
possum under a rock

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25757: Romeena, what are you talking about in 25752 when you mention MDC's photo idea? I can't find that post. Help me out here.
Charlotte Tucker

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25758: Oh, Charlotte, I'm sorry! Considering your line of work, I can see how that comment would have attracted your attention. However, I'm referring to #25749, which obviously wouldn't fit in with your magazine work. Hmmmm. Or would it? Might be interesting to do a photo layout comparing what's permitted these days to what is not. Again, hmmmm!

Well, I'm off. Have to go get my annual "evaluation" done at work. Somehow, it's just not the big serious deal to me that it used to be. So, away I go. Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25759: Romeena - I really liked your soap box! Keep it going!!


December 15, 2004 - Msg 25760: Mornin' everybody. Good posts on all the illegal alien stuff. I dont mind them being here as long as they are legal and pay taxes like the rest of us. I dont worry about being politically correct anymore. If "Merry Christmas" offends anybody, they can just be offended!I wont lose 1 minute of sleep over it, except when Gomer stays over and keeps me up al night.
Dr. Breen

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25761: o what a beautifull morning, 85, a gentle breeze, birds a singing- not in central illinois anyway.ha. i sure hope i haven't started a mouloge, i jst find those hidden headlines and can'y believe them thre toinform only. praters for our troops trying to do their jobs out of nothing like generations before being court martialed and giving a dishonorable discharge and loss of all benifits really frost me.the go0vernment would rather leave broken vehicles and guns for the enemy i guess. romeena= your post is so colorfull and christmasy. keep up the good work pipeman

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25762: homemaker= how'sthe weather your way? are you going to indiana beach or santa claus, indiana? have you heard from fun girl?mdc and rev jr= i just hope my wife gets old enough not to remember she married below her. charlotte tucker= prayers for you to get well soon. sterling= good for you, i'll say merry christmas as long as i breathe. i thank the porch stands by merry christmas and the lord. we had an old combat saying that applies here. these colors don't run. possum= harah for you. soon everyone will be off all the time because everyday is special to be celebrated, so when they say have a happy holliday say hank you i'm going home to celebrate. ha. REMINDS ME OF THOSE FLOWER MAKING MACHINE AND OTIS KEPT COMING UP WITH FAKE HOLIDAYS FOR A SNOUT FULL.i hope you can decifer the ist post this morning words can't believe- there to inform only,- prayers for our troops. imploding another soap box. kablooie. pipeman

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25763: Hey to the porch - I'll be posting in white this season because there's no chance I'll see snow this year.

~ Mrs. Wiley
"You mean they bought our elixer not for celebratin', but for just plain guzzlin'?"

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25764: mrs wiley= good to see you. ah, at last coloe posts for christmas. ro= isn't it funny how when we were younger those evaluations made us lose sleep? now it's just something else to do. i'm with you dr been= i don't lose sleep over offending someone who is helping to turn our societyon it's head and bring the wrath of god on us. as far as gomer, he's camping out in hawaii so your slumber should be good. homemaker= help build a big skyscrapper of a soap box- there more fun when we implode them and we feel s-o-o-o good. all this soap box imploding has made me hungry, anyone cooking? pipeman

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25765: pipeman= they got corned beef and cabbage down at the diner...
Dr. Breen

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25766: Afternoon Porchsters! Internet has been down on this end of the porch (long story). What a day for caroling! In between my duties at work I have taken in the following: 1) a 6th grade band concert. Being a public school it was called "A Holiday Celebration of Music." How's that for political correctness? Don't get me started...y'all said it all already. All the musicians, my daughter included, are first year students. Never heard so much "squeaking" out of instruments in my life. But, I was proud of them and they did a great job. 2) Had the 3k & 4k kids sing for us at a YMCA board meeting. TOO precious! After they sang they even yelled out "Merry Christmas!" There's one place you won't have to worry about ...the Young Men's Christian Association. Barney can vouch for it, he stayed in the corner room there in Raleigh every time he visited.

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25767: Hey guys. Thanks to you all for just being.... the porch gang! pipieman I'll make you some peanut butter cookies (I'm famous for them ya know). Will that satisfy till someone can get us supper?

I like the White Mrs. Wiley

I'm feeling good about everything today. Hey to just everyone. I had a funny story but I forgot it... whoopsee. Guess what? 13 days to my 22nd b-day. Bring it on!

Gonna go do something productive now.

Smile! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Dixie B

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25768: From the useless trivia dept, I found this in the mayor's office: White Christmas is the best selling song, bar none, of all time, (since keeping stats on such things, I guess) 50 million copies sold to date! wow!
pipeman, my nephew still in Iraq, and says that 90 percent of everyday Iraquies are still glad we are there. Was in Faluja battle and after the battle US went back in and cleaned up and painted schools etc. No other army in the world would do that! It's not the best situation by any means, and the better we get the sobs coming in from Iran and Syria, the better! Dont want to start a moulage the week before Christmas, but we could blame MacNamara for viet problem, and others when we look at history. My dad's jeep in WWII didnt have ANY such thing as armor! he just drove like h-ll and cursed the enemy the whole way!
Well on to better things, will keep up all the prayers for troops and porchsters.
APB for BOO and FLOYD and others.
Come on back to the porch for Christmas.
Eggnog and Wisdom all around!

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25769: PS : I got another good and true Christmas eve story for you later. Want to see if I told it last year or not first!

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25770: Ok, rebuilding soapbox for another minute, WWII on the homefront went thru MANY sacrifices. Today's citizens would be in a comeplete tizzy if cars were stopped being built for a year or if no cellphones were allowed to be used, or food was rationed, and there was little sugar etc etc!
Our present society needs to understand the Word of God when it comes to bearing some crosses and putting up with a little less for the sake of helping our fellow man and not expect the government to do it all. We have been so greatly blessed in the U.S of A. that we have become like the church at Laodicia! heaven help us!
Ok, that's it. Soap box is again like the old bandstandand uniforms.

December 15, 2004 - Msg 25771:
Howdy Folks,

MDC, I like the way you think. I was talking to Korean War vet at school the other day and he said it wouldn't be a war if the GI's didn't complain.

We just rolled through Iraq in record time. Never has an Army moved so fast and covered so much ground in victory. The stock market is up. The economy is growing. We are on the verge of having two new "Democracies" in the Middle East. Who would have guessed that on September 12, 2001? MDC, your post, Msg 25749, concerning voters is right on the mark. The average Joe and Josephine is turning this country around on the battlefield and in the voting booth. Things are good. Real good.

Merry Christmas,

December 16, 2004 - Msg 25772: MDC- you're right on the mark. That whole generation was more courageous than I can imagine. As John Wayne said..."Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." Most of those folks knew how to saddle up.

December 16, 2004 - Msg 25773: b-u-r-r morning to one and all. i have to stop between sentences to thaw out. rev jr.== maybe we could get barney to be the soloist for next year's 7th graders,what do you think? i always enjoy them plays, you can tell that some just want it over, some think they are the stars. it's sad that age group and future generations for the most part will view (for the most) that merry christmas was another quaint custom they used to celebrate. dixie belle= let me be the first one to wish you an early happy birthday- happy birthday to you. thanks for the peanut butter cookies, they were bests. everyone have a great day. hi auh20= any snow for a white christmas your way. pipeman

December 16, 2004 - Msg 25774: I saw some thing last night you aint goin' to believe. I have this Starz package on my TV so I was watching an old Gunsmoke and there was a lady acting like she is a saloon girl but I knew right away it was Miss Peggy. She can't fool me. I told my wife right away, that aint no saloon girl that's Miss Peggy the county nurse. Her daddy ought to come down from the R & M grain elevator and just spank her good for running around in a dress like that or at least take that new car away from her. Hey to the Porch.

Uncle Ollie "Otis was right, all they understand is a leg of lamb."

December 16, 2004 - Msg 25775: Morning porchsters! I'm leaving some sweet tea to go with all this spicy talk! Romeena, thanks for pointing me to the correct post. Now I understand what photo idea MDC had. Good idea. I agree. Pipeman, I took a double take when I read your post about it being 85! I knew it wasn't 85 where I live! Also, wanted to tell you we have tickets to watch the Illini play Valparaiso on Sunday. My son's a big fan. Do you follow the Illini? They played a great game beating Wake Forest a couple weeks back.
I think I'll go visit the Morrison sisters. Isn't it National Potato Week?
Charlotte Tucker

December 16, 2004 - Msg 25776: Charlotte Tucker= you did'nt have to rub it in about the Illini beating Wake Forest. I live fairly close to Wake's campus so I pull for them a lot (as well as some other ACC teams.) Anybody NFL fans out there? Big game Sat. nite for us in Charlotte as our Carolina Panthers take on Atlanta. Go Panthers!!
Dr. Breen

December 16, 2004 - Msg 25777: Hello everyone! Miss me? yea..didnt think so...
I've been reading every now and then to see if ya did... ;-)

Thought I would stop in..been busy with the usual stuff too.
Finally have stairs in my new house..nice not to have to depend on a rickety ladder now.

Sounds like most everyone here is doing well.


December 16, 2004 - Msg 25778: uncle ollie= you should have put on a mayberry uniform and yanked miss peggy right out of there and turned her over to her paw. it is strange how many of the cast showed up where you least expect. charlotte tucker= i don't follow much except nascar reguraly. i used to watch college ball becuse pro- ball was so crupt. i think i'll visit the morrison sisters also, i think it's national valparaiso win week. dr breen= i think there's some football fans here. sorry about wake forrest. but andy it's national valparaiso win week. if you take my bottle i'll have to hug and talk to the flower vase. alyce= glad you took a break to let us know how your doing. WE MISS YOU- WE MISS YOU. stay off that rickety ladder, now. one broken leg at a time is all we can handle. mrs wiley== i love your white posts. i agree- it looks like bitter cold is all we'll see here too. last time this happened new years day's night came a super- sized snow. that was a shock getting out at5 am to go to work. i always thought at christmas time there was a lot of food everywhere, this year on the porch, not even a crumb once a day. boo- hoo. pipeman


December 16, 2004 - Msg 25780: Hey Friends! I miss all of you. My sister told me she told all of you that I no longer have a computer now that I am living with my parents and I just got back yesterday from a vacation in Colorado. It was wonderful! We went snow tubing, sledding and snowmobiling (can't do any of those in South Texas). I am going crazy trying to catch up with all the Christmas preparation.

Hope you are all doing well. I know there is no way I can go back and read all the archives I have missed yet but just want to say I miss all of you and will keep in touch as often as I can through my sister's computer. Have a wonderful Christmas season and thanks be to God for the gift of His son, Jesus!


December 16, 2004 - Msg 25781: Hello porchsters ,ROMEENA.. I agree that we have to many illegals coming into the USA for freebies ,be it medical,welfare, paid living accomadations ,will it ever end .BOO.. glad to see you back on the porch

December 16, 2004 - Msg 25782: boo= what a pleasant surprize to see you on the porch. we miss and pray for you. hopefully your sister might even review the porch archieves and type in a post for you from time to time. i pray 2005 is fantastic for you. pipeman

December 16, 2004 - Msg 25783: MY posting posted on its own in mid sentence,DR. BREEN.. I like watching my Cowboys play ,never could bring myself to change over to the Panthers when they started up
..and anyone I forgot to mention ..have a great evening

December 16, 2004 - Msg 25784: Hi all, beeen busier than a cow's tain in fly season today!
To Jingle bells:
Dialize, dialize, dialize we do, Oh what joy is is to give, blood to me and you...
Loooooong day today.
I'm pooped, so see ya all tomorrow.

December 16, 2004 - Msg 25785: Hey to the Porch! Best of luck to you and yours.


December 17, 2004 - Msg 25786: oh what a beautifull 9 degree morning, don't you just love it sitting at home watching the heat bill rise by the minute. good morning one and all. mayberry deputy= go cowboys. you said your post posted itself in mid sentence, you sure your not hanging around the remshaw place to much. ha. gomer= pipeman says hey to gomer. mdc= get you some rest, hopefully you'll be able to slow down a bit. yeah, it's cold... i know how cold it is, danged cold! my feet are freezin , but the rest of me is fine. does anyone know santa baby song-- could you sing it? thanks pipeman

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25787: Morning Porch Pals! Breakfast is served: Eggs (your way), grits, toast, biscuits and sausage gravy, MEATs, and fresh Fla OJ. I hear the hurricanes made this years orange crop kind of scratched up, but sweeter and juicier than past years. Give'er a try! Coffee's simmering...

Hey to Dixie, Rev Jr, Pipeman, Dr. Breen, Boo, auh20, MDC, Mayberry Deputy (always want to spell that 'Depity'), Gomer (hey to Goober), Charlotte, Alyce, homemaker, hazel, Ro and Asa!

~ Mrs. Wiley
Andy: "What's the name of the game? GIN!"
Otis: "GIN? Don't mind if I do!"
Barn: "There's my card, THERE'S MY CARD!! DOGGONE YOU OTIS!"

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25788:
oops, better learn to shovel snow, huh?

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25789:
Morning Folks,

pipeman, 9 degrees, Yikes, don't stick your tongue on a flag poll even if someone triple dog dares you. Ya know, it might just be better to never stick your tongue on a flag poll regardless of the temperature.

Only a couple feet of snow here. Thought for a while there we were gonna have a Green Christmas. It's snowing good right now also.

Mrs. Wiley, sausage gravy, that's w winner every time.

Merry Christmas,

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25790: Mornin' Porchsters! Gotta type fast...our internet has been on the fritz lately. Up one minute, down the next. Kinda like the weather here in SC. Good to see Alyce and Boo again. Hello to all. I'm not going to type everybody's name for fear I leave someone out. Oh, Dr. Breen- I'm a Panthers fan, too. Went to the opening exhibition game years ago. I was a Falcons fan for years. Dad used to take me to their training camp at Furman University. When the Panthers came along, I switched over. That's when the Falcons started winning. Go figure. More of a college football fan, though I didn't have a whole lot to cheer about this year. I'm a Clemson fan. Y'all have a great day. 7 more days and I get to open my TAGS DVD! Yaaaahhooo!


December 17, 2004 - Msg 25791: mrs wiley= thanks for the beakfast,it was g-o-o-d. i love the snow posts, say let's all sing let it snow, let it snow next thrusday night at 7 pm. maybe we'll all have a white christmas. auh20- merry christmas and i quess with 2 feet of snow you won,t want to join us in singing let it snow, would you? rev jr= go ahead open the tags dvd, view it and rewrap it, what's 7 days oneway or the other? quote time= hey mister, you're tied to a tree. (and it's only 9 degrees, i added that) he knows that gomer. pipeman

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25792: anyone want to brave the outside and sweep the porch a bit? i would just mess it up. thanks. pipeman.

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25793: Already got nailed trying that Pipeman. Just not sneaky enough I guess. Like I said before...I've waited 44 years, what's another week?

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25794: rev jr= i tink your right. just go to bed early christmas eve. can you tidy up the porch for us? i'm worried about sterling as the last holiday approaches. haven't heard from him in awhile. hang in there- it's almost dvd opening day. pipeman

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25795: Morning to the porch! Hope everyone is doing well..take a look at this, you'll need your speakers...and your tissues.

Let's remember those who wont be home for Christmas this year...and why!


December 17, 2004 - Msg 25796: Here's a little preview for Rev jr.
Andy: And barn, when you send your shirt to the
laundry, be sure to Unload!"
Mayor pipeman, if your wife rides out on a horse and sings one more time at founder's day,
I think I'll just bust. Cant tell if it's her singin' or the horse whinniyin'.
Maybe we could have fireworks or a beauty pageant.
That way every weird girl in mayberry could parade thru Andy's house. Except for Mary Wiggins of course! She's the real winner!
Maybe Gentleman Dan Cauldwell could be a judge,
on his word as a gentleman!
Ok, ok, yes, I did unwind last night by watching about 4 eps of tags! teeheee
Good to see boo, Mrs Wiley, auh2o, sterling pman, md, goober and others!
Thanks for the breakfast!
APB for Spot, Jelsik, des, Jennie boone, floyd, mayberry girl, felicia, ne neighbor, sarah, etc!
Have a good day!
My true story coming soon!

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25797: Thanks MDC- I needed that, since it's like pulling teeth for me to watch the color eps and there are no local eps here. Mrs. Wiley- I'm still enjoying the white posts. Although, there's about a 20% chance of snow showers here on Monday. Only thing that will happen is folks will drain the grocery stores of milk and bread around here. Happens every time there's even a whisper about snow. That and hurricanes. auh2o- I'm with you...never stick your tongue on a flagpole no matter what. Pipeman- go to bed early on Christmas eve? I WISH! Remember, I've still got kids. Hey to goober, possum, sterling, MD, charlotte, homemaker, hazel, romeena, asa, boo, alyce, Dr. Breen, Uncle Ollie, Dixie and SPOT! I Hope I didn't leave anyone out.

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25798: Looks like I'm alone here on the porch right now!?
Well, here is my story and I aint takin' it back.
(teehee.) Got my stack of Bibles righch here.
When I was about 11 years old, my mom and dad set us all down (2 older than me, and 3 younger than me) on Christmas eve, and after some carols, The Night Before Christmas, and a prayer that my dad liked to recite with the family each year, they announced to us that they didnt think that Santa
would be able to leave anything on our wish lists,
but would only be able to leave a few small items.
(I grew up in a westside lower middle class area)
My dad had a good job, and we were always well clothed and fed, but in a time before credit cards etc, many extras went by the wayside.
We were all fine with that, but the younguns below me who still believed in Santa were a bit diappointed, but still accepted it well.
So we went back to our activities and all seemed well, until about 9 pm when the doorbell rang, and my dad said a big "oh my" when he answered the door, and then stepped outside for a moment!
The next thing we see was he and SANTA coming in the door! He told us that Santa had to use the phone for a minute. We had one of those wallphones in the kitchen. (Like in the color tags). After a few moments, he emerged from the kitchen with a big HO HO HO and then told us he'd be right back with GIFTS! He returned with toys for everyone! It was a Christmas Eve that I will never forget!
And, now here's the "rest of the story:"
My dad told us a few years later that the Santa had been hired by a rich family in Scottsdale, way out in the boonies in those days, but he took a few wrong turns and ended up in our area lost as he could be. He called the Scottsdale family and with no freeways, he knew it would take a couple hours to get there, so the dad on the other end said that was ok, because they had gone to a "plan B", (which will never be known)
and he told the Santa to go ahead and stay at the "house with 6 kids," and give them the presents! (Pman- that was the year I got my rifleman cap gun!) In fact, almost all of the gifts were exactly what we had been hoping for!
It was like old Ben Weaver opening up his suitcase on Christmas eve in the courthouse!
That is the God's truth, and even tho Johnny Paul may say it aint, it really is! And it still give me goosebumps! Aint God grand!
Merry Christmas to all!
Mr Darlin's Cuz

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25799: MDC- wow, what a story! Either Paul Harvey needs to tell it on the radio or they need to make a TV show out of it. Ever thought of sending it in to Reader's Digest? Just a thought because it is truly a great story.

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25800: Hey rev, I guess you were here and didnt see ya.

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25801: I was hiding behind my rocker.

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25802: mdc= good to see you. awe you don't like the mayor's kin singing christmas carols. sing it purty now ladies let it snow, let it snow. COULD SOMEONE SWEEP THE PORCH, THE MAYOR DON'T KNOW HOW AND IT'S HARD TO KEEP UP. AWHILE AGO I ALMOST ANSWERED MYSELF.HA goober= hey to goober. anyone heard from asa, afd, spot, floyd, sterling, etc.? rev jr= your right about christmas eve. it's worse now because what you buy and the instructions in several languages. remedial patience 101 time again. mdc= god works in mysterious ways for those who believe. quote: the best and most beautiful thingsin the world cannot be seen or even touched. they must be felt with the heart. helen kellar. one more like that and i'll be up to my knees in tears. pipeman

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25803: MDC, that's an awesome story! Yes, God is wonderful and always right on time. Here's another of my Christmas memories:

When I was 3, my brother got a "Mouse Trap" game for his birthday, Dec 19. He really wanted that game bad. Well, Mom let me in on what he was getting, and just before he started to unwrap the package, I hollered, "You got the Mouse Trap Game!" He was SO MAD at me and so was everyone else. So until I was 30, I was never advised of what someone would be receiving as a gift, or any family secret for that matter. All I would get to help with at Christmas every year thereafter was using my finger to help mom make a bow for a box after it had been wrapped. I had the official holiday finger. AS I was wrapping my kid's presents this year, I needed someone with a small finger and remembered that story.

~ Mrs. Wiley

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25804: A PS to my story, I know that some things CAN be explained, such as the gifts being about the same, as just like today, certain things were popular that year, but it was still thrilling for us kids!
Mrs Wiley, boy, they just couldnt let it go could they .(teehee)

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25805: That's right MDC, they forgive but they don't forget. ~ Mrs. Wiley

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25806: Hey Y'all! Great story MDC! I have a cute one I think I'll share.When my sister's kids were small we borrowed a Santa suit and had my husband sneak away from the festivities to get made up as Santa.We snuck him outside so that he would walk across the front lawn and up to the house so that the kids could see Santa arriving. Well,he's out there in his Santa attire waiting on the signal (had to get the camcorder ready) and a pickup truck full of hunters coming out of the nearby woods saw him and started blowing the horn and yelling "It's Santa Claus!" and so on. I just wonder what their wives must have thought if they went home and told them they'd seen Santa! Wives probably thought they'd been hitting the eggnog or something! Wouldn't you love to see Santa on Christmas Eve in some unexpected place?
Hey,Rev.Jr,do you think we might get SNOW for Christmas? They are calling for scattered snow showers down here-I'll take a flake or two! White Christmas in Carolina-yippee! Remember the Christmas after Hugo? We actually had snow on the ground Christmas morning! Hugo totally messed up the climate down here-we didn't even have autumn that year.Leaves didn't change color or anything.I'll never forget how weird that was.
Today at my new job I actually took a couple of phone calls.The people hung up on me,but at least I got in there and tried! It'll get easier as time progresses.
Good to have Boo drop in on us-we miss ya Boo!
Hey to everybody I haven't called by name and I'd like to welcome my neighbor Dr. Breen to the porch.I'm in SC Dr. Breen.Nice to meet ya!
Well,guess I'd better go stock up on canned goods,batteries and such for the anticipated SNOW we're gonna have! Wait-I've still got stuff left over from hurricane season so I'm good to go. Snow-come get me!
possum under a rock

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25807: Looks like i may get the last word tonight!
Prayers for all you fine porchsters, spot, boo and all.
Hope you keep focused on Jesus this weekend as we go into final preparations for Christmas. Lots to do and wrap and practice, get brown truck ready, and so on, but let us never lose sight of where are hearts and true treasures lie. God bless you all. It has been great knowing you these past 15 months, and i hope we have many more to share,
care and prayer!

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25808: Oops, forgot, neat story possum! I bet homemaker and Alyce and others must have some to!

December 17, 2004 - Msg 25809: Good evening, everyone! MDC, that is such a beautiful story. Sorta puts a lump in your throat. Thank you for sharing.

Oh, my! I'd just dearly love to have a white Christmas. I hate to keep whining about it, but I've never seen one and it would be such fun. Now, we have had two or three inches of snow once in a while, which is a LOT for us, but it has never happened at Christmas. Once, a few years back, we had a little dusting of snow on Christmas Eve morning, but it didn't even cover the grass, and melted by mid-afternoon. Just once, I'd like to see about a foot of snow, on Christmas! Oh, well. I guess I'll just have to try to dream about it.

Now, where's my broom? I'm going to try to get this porch swept. If I can't finish, I'll leave the broom out, and someone else can finish the job. Goodnight, all. Sugarplum says hey! --Romeena

December 18, 2004 - Msg 25810: Ouch! I just tripped over this broom. Who left it laying out here in the mid... oh, sorry Romeena. I don't mind sweeping. Lord knows Ive done it plenty of times before. Even when I get the misery in my back, I'll come out here and sweep away. Used to be a time when I was younger I could sweep until the wee hours of the morning, but I ain't been able to do that for a few years now. If someone could move these rockers for me I'd be grateful. I like to sweep under them, not just around them.


December 18, 2004 - Msg 25811: good saturday morning to my mayberry family. so good to see some of those who have been away, stop for a visit. we need to praise the lord and pray for our country to return to the lord .asa= so good to see you onthe porvh, we've missed you. we'll see if we can get miss ellie to give you something for the pain. ro= maybe you and the plum could visit auh20, i hear there's a lot of snow that way.neat stories possum, mdc, mrs wiley and rest. mdc= the brown truck is loaded, lights all around and yes christmas music blaring, maybe the state boys will let me slide on the music, if not i'll be at the rock awaiting bail. all those who have put our lord and christmas down i have there lump of coal as presents. only 2 months to nascar. thank the lord for each of you and pray those who have been away will stop by. rev jr= next week as you set and watch your new dvd try and picture what each of us look like and what part we would play in the story line. pipeman

December 18, 2004 - Msg 25812: in fact that might be interesting for us to do. pick out one or two porch folks as we watch and episode and tell how you see us in the story line. pipeman next time pick 2 more porchsters.

December 18, 2004 - Msg 25813: Pipeman, I don't have to be watching an episode to know where you'd fit in the story line. You'd be sitting on the bench outside Floyd's barbershop, swapping tall tales with him. Every now and then, Floyd would remark that Calving Coolidge said something or other, and you'd remind him that "Calvin Coolidge didn't say everything, Floyd!"

Ha! And now, I'm off to my kitchen. Gonna do a little baking today. Some big old cookies, and some small, shaped, shortbread cookies, and a big batch of scattermix. You know - nuts and bolts. Trash. Whatever your family calls it, it's good.

Have a great weekend, folks. Maybe I'll get this sweeping finished before I head for my kitchen. Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena

December 18, 2004 - Msg 25814:

December 18, 2004 - Msg 25815: Good Morning everyone..
Its cold here..we might see snow here tomorrow night/Monday morning..not much just a couple of inches. I would love to be snowed in though....if someone came and got my kids..haha!

Nope MDC..I really cant remember any unique Christmas stories..I guess if I tried to think really hard I might could come up with one, but I doubt it. Everything was pretty routine while I was growing up. We try to do fun things with our kids though..I told my husband I wanted him to dress up and be Santa..he just gave me a look.. Where do you buy a Santa suit at anyway? Guess online these days.
Well off to fix some lunch for these girls..then birthday party, then Christmas Cantata at church..

Have a great weekend everyone..

December 18, 2004 - Msg 25816: ro & plum= yeah you got my number. i'd be sitting on the bench with floyd, swapping lies and swating flies. for christmas i'd get a book of quiet calvin coolidge sayings as a present. 4 page book should cover it. i'd be gently smoking my pipe and getting up when someone needed a hand.i love your color, haven't seen any green color yet. alyce= happy birthday to you, and many more. the following has been brought to you by the ever shy, bashfull and humbile pipeman

December 18, 2004 - Msg 25817: b-day for me yet...My daughter is going to a birthday party for one of her friends today...
I'll remind you of mine in April..


December 18, 2004 - Msg 25818: christmas story time? 1. the oldest santa claus school in america is located in midland, michigan. ran by tom vallant.the original santa claus school is a decendant of the founder charles w. howard started the school in a barn in albion, n.york. he was the first santa for macy's, his philospohy that it wasn't a job rather a priveledge was a huge success. he trained and was the consultan on the movie miracle on 34th street in 1947. 2. santa clause, indiana recieves over one- half million letters a year and post marks about three- quarter a year. ho! ho! mayberry porch. pipeman

December 18, 2004 - Msg 25819: Don't worry Pipeman, I'll muddle through. Thanks for the concern though!

Hey, I had a thought today(amazing isn't it?) while me, Kai, and the wife were out shopping, and I saw all the businesses with their signs saying the generic and secular "Happy Holidays". And I thought, if you absolutely have to say "Happy Holidays", just change it like they do with "X-mas" and say "Happy Holydays" instead! Why not! :)
Have a nice night everyone!
-Sterling Holobyte

December 19, 2004 - Msg 25820: Funny, I've heard people say that Idaho is behind the times from the rest of the nation, and it may be true because most businesses here are still saying "Merry Christmas".
If we're sharing Christmas stories, I'll tell you about the time I found out there really wasn't a Santa. When I was about 6 years old, at a small school in Chino Valley, Arizona; where I lived at the time, we had a Christmas party. Santa came in and gave us all bags of nuts and oranges and candycanes. We sang carrols with him and had a great time. After he left the room, I snuck out 'cause I wanted to see how he was gonna leave (I wanted to see the reindeer, I guess). I watched him and he went in a back room and took off his hat and beard. It was my grandpa. He had come up from Phoenix to be with us for Christmas, and I guess he had volunteered to be Santa at our Christmas program. It was really quite a shock for a little girl.
-Hazel Pazel Poo

December 19, 2004 - Msg 25821: oh what a lovely day! it's either 95 degrees outside or -12 degrees, i can't tell my glasses are frozen. today is fa- la- la day. sterling== so glad to hear from you, sure missed you here on the sunny illinois porch. happy holy days to alleveryone, i like it and if the majority does i'll decree it. hazel pazel poo- thatstory was touching. it reminds me that when we first find out thereis no santa, we're feeling betrayed, and wonder what else we were told that's untrue. then we forgive, love and thankful for that bit of childhood they gave us. i'm thankful that jesus isthe real thing. pipeman

December 19, 2004 - Msg 25822: for you homemaker... as the new year approaches our porches economic developement committee, let's give everyone a goat for christmas instead of fury kids. yeah, i know goats aren't as cute and cuddly as puppies nor cats but look at the bright side== 1 goat can supply you with a nutritious milk- that's a ton of milk a year. 2. if you love greek food then goat milk can be used to make cheese, butter, yogart. sell extra milk. goat stuff is rich fertilizer. a goat can survive extreme climate changes- live on poor dry land on grass and leaves. good meat. do you still want to go to the cow store downtown instead of owning a goat? pipeman


December 19, 2004 - Msg 25824: Pipester, I guess no one told your weatherman that winter aint suppose to start til TUESDAY!
Pipeman and floyd, the best clip joint in town.
Lts have a street dance, pie eatin contest, white elephant and a grand finale. All hail to thee,
Mister Jesu! teehee, After all, andy and Him say that it is the INNER beauty that counts!
Love to the porch,

December 19, 2004 - Msg 25825: Sterling, I have to say thank you to you. Your story of your problems with the MIL over the holidays touched my heart, and one thing you said really struck home. You said she thinks she OWNS Christmas. That made me stop and evaluate my own att-itude, and caused me to be very careful in making the arrangements with my family. Almost every year, it has worked out that we have our family holiday a day or two ahead of or after actual Christmas, because of my work schedule. This has helped a lot in juggling schedules with my married kids and their in-laws. However, this year, I'm off for the whole Christmas weekend, and I have a DIL whose mother is my good friend, and always has Christmas dinner for her family. She never asks for much, but this one thing is very important to her. Hmmm. I was planning to cook Christmas dinner here, as my daughters are coming to town as well. Then I thought about what you've been dealing with, and am resolved that it shall not happen in my family! So, we're all going to the Christmas Eve service at my son's church, then to their house for a time of celebration and a bit of gift exchanging. Then Christmas Day, my son and DIL will have Santa at their house, then go to my DIL's family for Christmas dinner. My daughters and I will spend a quiet, comfortable morning here at my house, and in the evening, we'll have a big Mexican meal for everyone, including my DIL's parents. We'll have a little more gift exchanging as well. Now, how's that for compromise? I'm happy with it, and I think all my kids will be, as well. After all, it's about His birthday, and it's a family time. So, thank you, Sterling, for giving me something to think about.

Now, I've got some cookies to bake. Bee gave me a good recipe, and I'm anxious to try it out. She says Andy and Opie really like them.

Sugarplum says ho, ho, ho! --Romeena

December 19, 2004 - Msg 25826: Three Cheers for the Denver Gazette!

Well guys we can all breath easy. I passed all my classes. And I made the Dean's List! Yea!

Now that I've shared good news does anyone else have something good to tell?

Dixie Belle

December 19, 2004 - Msg 25827: Merry Christmas everyone!

pipeman=Be looking for your package in the mail. It is filled with lot of goodies. hehe. This week will be hectic for me and the kids, but I will try to call and check in as always. Mom is home all week and until after the first week of January....just fair warning. I think I finally completed my Christmas and Yule shopping. *whew* The kids and I will be gone most of Tuesday because, well, it is Yule and Cindy has invited us over to celebrate with her since Mom and the rest of the family doesn't celebrate it. Not much more to report since we talk so often. I do know that you have been naughty. Although, I can't say much from my end. hehe. If your email is working, email me.

Your daughter,
mayberry girl

Oh and what happened to Spot "the missing dog"? I sure do miss him. hehe.

December 19, 2004 - Msg 25828: Hello everyone, hope you are all well. Wanted to stop in and say Merry Christmas in case I don't talk to you again before then.

Ro, wish you could have been with us in Colorado. You would have loved it!

I love the Christmas stories.

Well, the kids are making alot of noise in the other room so I had better check on things. Ya'll have a great Christmas.


December 19, 2004 - Msg 25829: Hey porchsters! Home from the Illini game. They won big. We had a nice time. Alyce, I'm glad you checked in. Don't think that just cuz no one asks about you that we don't miss you when you aren't here. I am glad you posted Boo. We were beginning to worry--it'd been a long time since I'd seen you here, but then folks knew you were in Colorado I guess. Good to see everybody. Mighty cold here on my porch tonight--about 13! I fell down our 14 steps on Saturday morning and bruised my backside. Today I fell up some more steps in Champaign! Sore arms and back! Prayers for me--I'm startin' to walk crooked!
Charlotte Tucker

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25830: CT- was that "in" Champaign or "from" Champaign? tee hee. I'm just kidding you, hope you recover quickly!

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25831: Ha...good one Rev.Jr
How is everyone doing?
I have 3 kids here today...keeping my nephew for my sister..its hard to entertain a 7 year old boy when you have 2 little girls yourself. My almost 4 year old wants him to be a princess with her..LOL!

Well I have a busy week this week, as everyone else in the world..But if I dont post anymore, everyone have a super fantastic peaceful joyous and blessed Christmas....Happy Birthday Jesus!


December 20, 2004 - Msg 25832: good mornine one and all= i hear northern indiana is covered with snow. here from wed thru sat snow . christmas is suppose to be zero to start so i say like the credit card guy. go outside christmas where it is zero- no, snow- no, ho, ho-no. dixie belle= i knew you'd pass that test. congrats on making the deans list. isn't it great to have a praying porch family and especially the lord who takes care us in all things? mayberry girl=what do you mean that mayor pipeman has been naughty this year? ha. i'll explain about spot next time we boo= merry christmas and may 2005 be kind to youand yours. charlotte tucker= prayers for you. when someone says are you going to go up or down tell them i thing i'll go straight on level ground. illini is looking great so far. this weekend they play rival mo. your right we don't mention those we're missing even though the list is long. rev jr= are you co- piloting the christmas brown truck? alyce= right back at you on greetings. prayers and love for each of our porch family for a happy , safe christmas week. return to us safe. prayers for our troops and country. pipeman

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25833: Pipe- the Christmas brown truck is gassed up and ready to go! Dixie- that was quite an under statement...passed your classes. You knocked 'em out of the park! DEAN'S LIST, way to go. Back up 25 years and I can show you exactly what just "passing" a class is. I think the appropriate ending to that phrase for me was " the skin of my teeth." I had written a very long, very sappy post about all you guys, but I deleted it. No sense in making anybody sick this early in the day. Suffice it to say, I truly do treasure each and every friendship here on the porch. You guys are the greatest. More on that note later.

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25834: Dixie...
Congrats on the Deans List...
I never got close to that in college...the closest I got was the Dean's office to complain about a this day I still think he was wrong.
Rev.. you're we want to hear the sappy side of yourself...rewrite what you were going to post!


December 20, 2004 - Msg 25835: Who is getting the TAGS dvd for Christmas? I sure hope my husband got it..I think he did if he knows better.

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25836: Hey to the PORCH! Hope everybody is coming in on a great CHRISTMAS DAY! There...I said it, and I ain't taking it back!

Hazel, what do you mean "no Santa Claus"....what are you trying to tell me?!?

Good to see Boo back...and Gomer...and all the family...that's really what this season is about. Taking the time to be thankful for all the gifts (not just those under the tree.), and be thankful for our families!

Prayers for our neighbors 3 doors down. Had a fire break out in their garage last one was home...but the house is gone. It's a horrible site...had 5 or 6 communities send their fire equipment.

Everybody have a Mayberry day....see ya'll soon!


December 20, 2004 - Msg 25837: Prayers for your neighbor Goober. That's horrible right here at Christmas. Alyce- I'm getting the TAGS dvd from my MIL for Christmas. Also found out by accident that my parents got it for me too. Reckon I'll have one for home and one for the office. As for that sappy post, I'll try again this afternoon.

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25838: Goober: sorry for your neighbors..prayers for their healing and reconstruction..
Rev.. you can always take one back and get something else..

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25839: Sterling! See, YOU at least affected somebody!
Looks like Romeena will have a good one!
I will respond to your email soon. Had to think again! haha, whew!
GOOBER, can all you neighbors get together and help out the fire victims, maybe buy some toys etc? Hope so, hope you have good folk there!
I've got another good one for you all, that I will share a little later also.
mayor, I see your daughter is getting back at you for not letting her sing in the pageant! teehee
I'm tryin to keep things easy going this week .

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25840: Well, I'm always glad to help someone else out with my misery. ;) Just kidding, Ro! That sounds like a good compromise.
And you're welcome, I guess. :)

I hope the community rallies around your neighbors, Goober, and they can have a nice Christmas despite their troubles!

Boo, glad you stopped by again. Have a Merry Christmas on your end of the porch!

-Sterling Holobyte

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25841: Alyce- now I'm thinking I might just keep one in the wrapper. Maybe it'll be a collector's item someday. I'm still holding on to a 1968 Mickey Mantle card. One of the few that never made it to the spokes of my Schwinn Stingray. Sterling- glad to see ya. I know the end of this week may be a little rough for you, just know we're thinking about you. MDC- so you're trying to keep things easy going this week, huh? How's that different from any other week? Tee Hee. I'm only teasing you. When you throw a fat one like that across the plate, I have to swing!

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25842: Very funny rev! I just meant I'm not going to run into every store every night, that kind of thing, but i guess i did open myself up for that one, for sure!
Your "cards in the spokes" comment reminds me of how my rear end was just a tad sore after I used my dad's bridge cards for the same thing! Dang, that was dumb of me, but at 9, I thought he'd never miss just two cards from a whole pack! (and I didnt even have the sense to use the two jokers!) stupid, stupid, stupid!

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25843: Looks like we're gettin' close to a porch sweep!
APB for spot, Floyd, Briscoe, County Nurse, Miss mayberry, fungirl, des and others!

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25844: MDC- I'm pretty sure a Nolan Ryan rookie card was in my bike spokes as well. Talk about stupid, stupid, stupid!

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25845: Sterling- I meant to tell you earlier....I had a greeter at Sam's Club (cousin of Wal-Mart) actually tell me "Merry Christmas" this past Saturday. Apparently, she didn't get the memo either like your cashier at Wal-Mart. I chuckled to myself thinking Sterling would get a kick out of this. By the way, did anybody happen to see the CBS show "Sunday Morning"? Charles Osgood did a great piece on folks using "holiday" or "season" instead of "Christmas." He actually sat at the piano and parodied several songs like "...I'm dreaming of a" and several others. Thought about all you guys while I was watching it.

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25846: Hey to the Porch, it was about 13 degrees here this morning. That's not bad for you folks up north but that just aint right for here in Alabama. Brrrrrrr. Dixie Belle you made the dean's list. I remember when you were talking about being a cheer leader in high school. I must be a 100 years old. Way to go young lady.

Uncle Ollie "Watch your foot I goin' to rock forward."

December 20, 2004 - Msg 25847: hello porch ..mighty cold here in N.C. this morning ,12degrees ,too cold for me
the company I work for is thinking of being open on Christmas day next year ,that is carrying the money hungry monster too far ,we already open 364 days a year now want more .