March 22, 2011 - Msg 83086: and heads back towards the Courthouse, muttering to himself.

"Danged busybodies around here! I declare,it's a time!"

Andy hears the phone ringing as he approaches the Courthouse, and rushes inside to take the call.

"Hello Sara. How're you? Well, I'm sorry to hear that... Well, soak it Sara, soak it real good in warm salt water... Huh? Laura Lee Hobbs told you WHAT? Sara, if you don't mind, just put the call through, just put the call through, Sara!"

So Sara puts the call through and after a brief moment of hesitation,Andy hears a soft female voice on the other end.

" Hello, Andy?".......

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83087: That was me, possum with the latest installment- and the broom! Ha!

By the way, Kudos to all of the story writers- great job, y'all! John Masters, I could just hear Opie & Andy having that conversation in your latest installment. You sure nailed it!

possum under a rock

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83088:
Wow, I guess that summary caused a sweep! sorry.

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83089: testing

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83090:
"this is caroline. I hope you don't consider it to forward of me calling you like this, but it is kinda an official call. Johnny managed to get his football stuck up in the tree in the front yard, and besides, it IS all over town that we are neighbors, ha, news travels fast in this town, i see; so i was wondering if you could possibly help--in an official capacity of course."

"Well, it has been a crazy morning around here, and barney's out on patrol, so let me just finish copying this stuff from this big law book to my index cards, and I'll be rightche over, OK? I do have a big ladder in the backyard,
but don't you go and try to move it.."

March 22, 2011 - Msg 83091: Who wrote that last installment??


March 22, 2011 - Msg 83092: That is funny whoever wrote about Andy copying stuff from the big law book onto index card! haha...we were just talking about that, weren't we?


March 22, 2011 - Msg 83093: "Ok Andy,, I understand if you would rather not do it. I wouldn't want to cause you any more trouble with Helen."

"Don't worry, it's not a problem and I really don't want you to feel to blame for the problem I am having with Helen. This isn't something new...been dealing with it awhile. See you when I can get there."

"Ok Andy, if you're sure. See you when you get here and I really appreciate it."

Andy lays down the pencil he's been holding, gets up and stretches and thinks he will go to the back and pour himself a cup of Sanka coffee. He could use a break from all the paperwork. Just as he emerges from the back room, Thelma Lou enters the courthouse, looking concerned with those big eyes of hers. She crosses the room to where Andy is standing and gives him a kiss on the jaw.

"Well, what did I do to deserve that?...Are you ok, Thelma Lou?"

"Oh Andy, I am so sorry about Helen!", as she holds a tissue to her nose and sniffs.

"What you mean, Thelma Lou?"

"Well, that she left town!"

(I'm going to stop double spacing to save space. Ya'll can still follow the dialogue just fine, I'm sure).
"She WHAT? You say she left town?...Are you sure?"
"I ran into Helen's neighbor, Edna this morning and she told me that Helen was gone. A moving van showed up at her house early this morning, moved out all of her things and then a big, black car stopped in front of the house and a man got out. She said he was a good-looking man with a fancy suit on and that....(Thelma Lou loses her composure and begins to cry)...that he kissed her square on the mouth! Helen got into the car with the man and drove away. I have no idea who he could be, Andy, and I went straight over to Helen's house and it's just like Edna said, the house is completely empty!"



March 23, 2011 - Msg 83094:
The plot thickens....

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83095: RIP Elizabeth Taylor...

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83096: Morning, All

Thanks Possum, I am trying to watch this in my head as an actual episode, like we have seen it before even though we are writing it for the first time.

Sorry I have fell behind on everyone's personal entries. Hello to Boo, Possum, Romeena, MDC, Asa, REV, and everyone. Research and helping to write this is back and forth.

Have a great mornin' and I will try to write another entry here real soon!

John Masters

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83097: trouble check

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83098:
"Wow, so she really did it. "Member that handsome fellow who was here from the education dept awhile back? Well, Helen kept threatening to run off with him every time we had a little spat!
Well, fine, she's finally done it, and it must have been well planned to have a moving van here so quickly. I'm more sorry for you, tho, Thelma Lou, than for me. I know she was your good friend.

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83099:
"Well Andy, yes, this IS all rather sudden. She never let on that you and her were having so many problems."

"Look Thelma Lou, I told caroline that I'd be over to help her out with a few things, so let me do that and then we can talk."

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83100:
"Well hi Caroline, boy are you a sight for sore eyes! I just found out that helen has left town
and i also just got a call from the county health department saying that our current county nurse was caught consuming sazeracs on the job, so she has been let go. I bet if you headed over there right now that you could interview for the job..
Course, like i said, we DO go thru county nurses qucker than mash thru a still, but you sure seem like you'd a good one. Meantime, I'll get that football out of the tree, and then Aunt bee will have my lunch ready."

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83101:
OK, those were from me--> MDC. Did em in segments so as no one would rock on me toes! ha
Hope all is well. Yes, RIP lis taylor.
Prayers for all,

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83102: Ha! Helen ran off with ol' Frank! I was hoping that's who it would turn out to be- really! Good one, MDC!

possum u.a.r.

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83103:
Frank, thanks! I couldnt think of his name!
Possum, did you see my tags facebook post? ha

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83104: Frank, eh? I was kinda hoping it was the guy that was into organized crime that she got to know while doing her college journalism paper....forgot his name. I hope poor Frank knows what he's getting himself into!

The sazerac things was funny, MDC.


March 23, 2011 - Msg 83105:
Epilogue, (a few months later)
Scene is the front porch of the Taylor home, early Sunday evening. Andy is strumming the guitar, Caroline, in her nurse uniform, is sitting next to Andy. Barney and Thelma Lou are sitting next to them. Aunt Bee is in the rocker,
and the two boys are playing with lincoln logs on the grey planks of the porch. Suddenly Thelma Lou speaks up.
"Frank! I still can't believe she ran off with Frank."
Oh Thel, just give it a rest already. What's done is done, and aint nobody gonna change what is. Sides, all's well that ends well."

"Oh, I know Barney, and Caroline is a nice friend."


"Yes son?"

"If you were to marry Miss Caroline, then Johnny would be my brother, right?"


"Half-brother?? Pa we aint gonna be talkin' 'bout
that guy 'Horatio' again, are we?"

(Everyone laughs and the scene fades to black)

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83106:
Mystery Epilogue-man (:

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83107: Such goins-on, such goins-on! I never knew we had so many talented writers on this porch! Reckon we could interest Andy in starring in "The Andy Griffith Show - the Later Years." Hmmm? --Romeena

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83108: Harry Brown, Boo! Ha Ha I thought of him too, but hoped somebody would write Frank into the story so we could say that Helen is "running with" him!!

possum again

MDC, I might have seen it, or I might not have seen it- ha! My mind ain't what it used to be- I'll go look now!

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83109: Ro, there's a problem with your online photo album. Just tried to access it, and it has been shut down. I sent you an email about it.
Not sure if you're aware of this or not.
possum under a rock

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83110: Hey y'all!
I've been enjoying reading this story! How fun! I like using Caroline.

Just wanted to pop in for a quick rock. I've been busier than a bee lately. I hope all are well and hugs!
Blessings to you and yours,

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83111:
RO- I just tried it too, and it says that you are not in "good standing."
I TOLD you that runnin with Ernest T would steer you in the wrong direction, but n-o-o-o-o, ya wouldnt listen to me! haha

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83112: Well! If it wasn't for my good friends watching out for me, I guess I'd just have been "not in good standing" forever. They notified me a coule of months ago that such action was pending, due to "no activity" on the account - meaning I hadn't bought anything from them. I never do, I just renew the membership. So, I thought I renewed it, but apparently the order didn't go through. I checked my credit card bill, and there's no charge there, so obviously it didn't. Anyway, it's now done, and the album is once again "in good standing". Thanks for the heads-up, friends. I'm glad somebody had my back.

MDC, just so you know - I quit runnin' with Ernest T. some time back. I got tired of him always haulin' that bag of rocks around with him, and it's embarrassing when he starts bangin' on that gas can and caterwaulin'. Makes people look at you funny.

Blessings! --Romeena

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83113: Er, that should be "a couple of months ago". I have no idea what "coule" would be in English. Apparently in French (coule') it has a multitude of meanings, and I'm not sure I care to explore them. French words always scare me. Sorry! --Romeena

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83114: So that ends the episode of "So Long Old Lady Crump" huh? I think it might be Boo's favorite.
I wonder what will be next weeks episode.

The nerve of them photo bucket folks telling Romeena she's no account. How dare they! Why I'll go down there and punch them all in the nose!


March 23, 2011 - Msg 83115:
Hello porch family....another sunny and warm day here in SC.

TAGS-The Later Years......Hmmm...I like that title. You folks are some good writers:)

Well sports regular season getting closer. Play ball!

Night porch family....have a good night's sleep.
Love and prayers!

March 23, 2011 - Msg 83116: Whoever you are "mystery epilogue man," thanks for NOT bringing Helen back. Nice ending, and it would have been my favorite episode.

Are we gonna do another one next week?

Let me serenade ya, Ro... "Pot so black, jumped in the crack.."


March 23, 2011 - Msg 83117: HI ALL.
Sorry for not comming here.
All I askding for now is some prayr fo me stepdad,


March 24, 2011 - Msg 83118: You have them, Tom. I know he's been ailing - is he getting worse? Bless you, you have been a good son to him, looking after him and worrying about him. Certainly we'll pray for him, and for you too, for strength and patience as you try to take care of him. Older folks can be tough patients to care for. Just hang in there, Tom. God will give you the strength.

Blessings! --Romeena

March 24, 2011 - Msg 83119: Ha! Asa, you are too much! Your "no account" remark about Ro nearly made me spill my bowl of corn flakes all over my keyboard! It's good to see you back on the Porch, BTW.

Ro, happy to help. It was just by chance I decided to look at your album yesterday. Sure would've hated for you to lose it. Glad you got things straightened out.

Tom, prayers for you,friend.Hang in there.

Y'all take care and try to act like somebody!

possum under a rock

P.S. Will Helen ever return to Mayberry? Stay tuned for the next installment of " Mayberry- The Later Years"!

March 24, 2011 - Msg 83120:
Mornin' all. That was actually me who did the epilogue. I thought the "horatio" thing may have got ya all to thinking that it was our "poor horatio" who wrote it, but I guess it didnt work. It was just little ole me,mdc.
Boo-I would NEVER bring helen back,ha, and I figured that it was about time for Andy and one of the kazillion county nurses to finally hit it off! haha (Still love Asa's line about them.) And i also figured that the front porch would be the perfect closing scene.
Well, have a good day. I may sneak out to a spring training game REV, and TOM, my prayers are with you.

March 24, 2011 - Msg 83121: Good morning, porch! It is just a gorgeous day here, 63 degrees, bright and sunny, and buds a-poppin' everywhere! One rose bush has sent one tall spire straight up, it's about four feet high now, while everything else is still three feet or less. I think I'm going to go deep into the bush and cut that cane off. The bush is putting too much valuable energy and nutrients into that, and it's too tall. If I cut it off, at least two more will sprout from the cut, and the bush will remain at a more attractive size and shape. The bush is "Veterans' Honor" and if I'm not mistaken, it's a child of the famous "Mr. Lincoln". The color and fragrance are similar, though the shape of the blossom is a bit different. "Mr. Lincoln" has a tendency to send up tall spires like that, so I guess the child is similar to the parent. Both bear incredibly beautiful blooms.

Eddie is here, swinging his weedeater all around. It takes him nearly an hour to edge everything back there. He's so funny, and such a nice guy. He laughs about how he could do the whole yard in half an hour when he first started, then "you done got bit by the flowerbed bug!" It was just a big square when he started mowing for me, no beds, no walkway, no pond, nothing. Just mow and go. Of course, as the work has increased, so has his pay, and he says he'd rather do my yard as it is now, even though it's more work because, as he puts it "it ain't boring, and it's pretty." Now there's a man who appreciates things, and I'll keep him busy as long as he wants to work here. He does a very nice job, looks out for me and is pleasant company. Oh, my 8-ft ladder disappears now and then, or my leaf blower or something, but they always come home in a week or so. He used to ask, and I always said yes, so now he just uses them, and I don't care. If it helps him out, it's no problem for me. He has a small daughter that he's raising with his mom's help, and I have to admire that. God has supplied me with great people to help out around here.

Well, guess I'd better get busy. I have to work tonight, and I need to get a few things done around this house. David and his family are coming tomorrow night for supper, and he'll finish hooking up my TV to the sound system.

Blessings, friends! --Romeena

March 24, 2011 - Msg 83122: I think it was a fine ending, MDC, and you are right...time to make things work out with a country nurse for a change! I think Caroline is "a keeper". Maybe we can continue to build on that relationship next week and here is something I am thinking about, too. How about an episode in which Thelma Lou finds out about Juanita and Braney ends up finally asking Tehlma Lou to marry him. I figure in our new episodes we can make things work out the way they should have in the first place! ;-)

Ro, I decided to wait a little while on the roses. Right now Bruce is busy getting the front flower beds ready for planting and we went and bought all the shrubs and flowering plants for the fron. I actually hurt my back lifting some potted plants and have sitting with the heating pad and taking advil since yesterday. Crazy lower back keeps grabbing at me and I am walking crooked! Not what I need right now with my brothers coming for a visit.

Hope you have an easy night tonight, Ro.

Better get back to the heating pad, just wanted to check in for a minute.


March 24, 2011 - Msg 83123:
Boo- I think a cold pack will actually do better than heat. I always did heat too, until chiro told me otherwise. Also, here's a good link:

Good day to all,

March 24, 2011 - Msg 83124:
Hello porch family

I've got an outdoor concert this weekend so pollen please go away! prayers are with you and your family buddy. Know that we all care very much for you! chiro told me the same thing as MDC is saying....cold pack. I took a gallon zip lock bag, put ice in it. Laid on my stomach with a towel across my back with the ice pack on the towel. Then put the bag in the freezer until the next time.

Better get going. You all have a blessed day!
Love and prayers!

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83125: H-E-L-L-L-O !!!
Porch seems a might slow tonight.

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83126: Good morning. I am feeling more like porch-sittin' this morning. The back is much, much better, thankfully.

Got a good night's sleep but felt like I dreamt all night. The Melatonin does that sometimes. Would like to go back to bed for a few more winks but things to to take to school, etc. Last night we found ants in our pantry so Bruce pulled EVERYTHING out and it is on the kitchen counters. He killed the ants and now the pantry has to be wiped down and everything put back...NOT a chore I was counting on today but it is a good opportunity to reorganize the pantry and get rid of unwanted items like old cereal that was never eaten. I have a big bowl to dump that sort of stuff in. Thelma Lou (the donkey) and the goats will love it.

Better get going...


March 25, 2011 - Msg 83127:
Hey Folks

Well... our yard was green for about a day and a half then we got about 10 inches of snow so spring has been delayed by about a week here.

Been a very-very hectic week, yuck.

I stopped by the Porch, one night a few days ago, and wasn't really sure what was going on. Then, I realized that TAGS was back in production, very well done.

Boo-Isn't it something how kids love to buy cereal, gotta have it, and later we're pitching it. Oh well, glad I was never, ever, like that. (wink wink) Man, I love those kids.


March 25, 2011 - Msg 83128: Oh no, Auh2o! More snow, and on your new grass!

Actually the cereal is stuff I bought, hoping the kids would eat because it is the "healthy" kind of cereal. It ended up getting pushed to the back of the shelf and not eaten. If it had been Cocoa Puffs, this never would have happened! ha You know hearing you say (write) that you love the kids, makes me smile. Yesterday when my back was out, Bruce was stepping in to help Erin get to school and I was watching him tenderly brushing her long hair and its time like that my hormones surge. Love a man who loves his kids. When we dropped her off at school and were watching our lovely little girl walk into school I said, "What an amazing blessing she is." and Bruce said, "When she crawls up into my lap, all is right with the world". What a sweet sentiment. I'm sure you can relate to that one, as a daddy of girls.

Better scoot...


March 25, 2011 - Msg 83129: I've said it once, and I've said it twice, and I'll say it again. DRY MOLASSES! For ants and other critters - spread dry molasses on your property, around the house and as far out as you don't want to see ants. Then spread diatomaceous earth around up close to the house, for good measure. None of this will harm your animals, but slugs and snails hate it, termites hate it, roaches hate it, and ants hate it. I haven't seen a fire ant mound in my yard for several years now, and I used to have a new one out there every morning, it seemed. the other critters have left as well. Now if you're troubled with those tiny little "sugar ants" as my mother called them, being too polite to use their other name, get you some Terro baits from Lowe's and place them in strategic places in your kitchen and wherever else you see ants. I promise you, they work! Actually, I'm convinced that it was a combination of the molasses and DE outside and the Terro inside that finally got rid of the little pests. I haven't seen an ant in this house in two years, and I have fought them continuously for as long as I've lived here, until I found the winning combination. Again, it works.

Would love to stay and visit, but I'm beat and my back is killing me. Got to go lie down for a while. Had a good night at work, but am still so tired, and this burning pain in my back is just about more than I can handle. Will be setting something up with a chiropractor, I'm thinking. Blessings, friends! --Romeena

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83130: Ha Boo. I wonder if Helen Crumps daddy ever said that.:)

Hay Auh2o. you old disco lover. We are getting some snow here this morning as well. Not sticking though. To warm for that.
Hey Tom, I will sure include you and your Stepdad in my prayers friend.
Rev, we will try to keep the porch dust down so your concert goes well. I know you have a limited supply of that bug juice to keep the old larnyx lubed up.
Boo's got ants in her pantry. Poor thing. And a sore back to boot. Hope it ain't the versitis. I agree with MDC and Rev, Ice is the way to go at least in the early stages. Although a heating pad sounds a lot more comfortable.
Hey Possum, it's good to be back. Glad I can make you laugh, but sorry about the mess it created. You best get it all cleaned up or you'll end up with ants in your key board. And maybe a few uncles too. :)


March 25, 2011 - Msg 83131: Whoops, didn't see you there Ro. Dang, I hope your back gets better soon. I hope that back cracker can dou you some good. Prayers for your healing Ro.


March 25, 2011 - Msg 83132: Good Morning, All.... Sorry I kinda fell out of the Andy/Caroline story. I was gone all yesterday and last night. Went to the Confederate Home State Park and Cemetery in Higginsville, MO. to get some pictures taken for my Quantrill project in Arkansas. The office workers there pitched in some donations of papers they had on some of Quantrill's men and the reburial of some of his bones there. Then had to go help the FIL move a room around. Left here at 9:30 am and wound up getting home from everything at 11:30pm. I will try to get caught up and get back to you asap!

Hello to Romeena, Boo, REV, Asa, Lucy, Possum, auh2o, and the whole porch family!

John Masters

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83133: Hey Gang!..gosh just been busy with the weather change and time change outside at the dog to catch up on this Story thing yall got going on!..hey Rev and all race fans have ya been enjoying the racing? starts soon...ok prayers to all and its off to work for me and I will read there...Lunch (if aint nobody cooked)...Krystal burgers and fries!...Coke....SPOT

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83134:
Howdy porch family

Well now they are saying it may be raining Saturday so my concert may be moved inside:)

Ro...where do you buy the Dry Molasses? I may have asked you that before.

John Masters....sounds like you had a very busy day yesterday. Glad you got settled back in your rocker here.

Thanks Asa....I'll keep the spray handy:)

Boo has ants in the pants.....I mean ants in the Well at least the pets got a good treat.

You all have a blessed day! Be sure to "live" Jesus around someone today!
Love and prayers

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83135:
Hey there Spot....didn't see ya there brother! Let's get them Braves fired up!

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83136:
Well, Rev, Spot, etc, Arizona done in Duke!
Tho I "hate" UNIVERSITY of Arizona (I'm an Arizona STATE grad,) I was happy to see Duke out.
Now we'll see if Ohio State gets to the elite 8 tonight. Still looking toward my prediction.ha
I'm no Jimmy the greek, but OS is just so strong this year!
Honeys and dears, i hope you all have a good weekend. Asa and Auh20, JM, and all!!
And yes, RO, where DO you get the dry molassas?

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83137: Hi All.
Just spot by see how thing are going!
Will for the next sixweeks he will be going to cann.
He had ben a sitk old man but he js a happy one.

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83138: The ants are out of my pantry and everything is reorganized and cleaned's all good.

Thanks for the tips on my back. It sort of cleared up on its own before I had to try the ice pack (whew!). Hope your back gets better soon, Ro.

Dried Molasses, dried molasses, dried molasses...there now, maybe I can remember it and tell Bruce to get some.

Been a busy day so far but not complaining as long as my back is feeling so good. Just finished a load of laundry and working on another one and got a little housework to do, then cook something up for dinner, help feed the animals, sweep the porch, change the sheets, make some brownies for tomorrow, tidy the laundry room, and clean my bathroom. Then I can relax for the evening. :-)

Better go get Erin from school.


March 25, 2011 - Msg 83139: Hey, porch. Where do you get dry molasses? So glad you asked! You can get it at any large garden center, and many small ones carry it as well. It comes in bags, and is spreadable with your fertilizer spreader. I put it on the yard about three times a year. It's lovely because you don't have to be careful where it goes, everything likes it! It's a great fertilizer, and promotes healthy microbial activity in the soil. I think it's one reason there are so many earthworms in my soil around here, and a healthy population of earthworms is a really good thing. Dry molasses is actually real molasses, which is sprayed over wheat bran, then allowed to dry out, after which it's bagged up for shipment. It smells good when it's spread on your lawn too - unlike some commercial fertilizers which smell awful. Best of all, it's fully organic, no chemicals, and the kids and pets can play in the yard without any worries about chemical residue. If you combine it with an application of corn gluten meal in the spring and fall, just before the winter or summer weed seeds germinate, it's a great one-two punch - fertilizer and weed preventer both. I'd suggest that you Google "dry molasses for the lawn" for any other questions you might have, but I promise, I'll never be without it.

Oh, I have an appointment with a chiropractor next Wednesday - first time in my life. His practice is part of a system called Airrosti. Just go to to learn more. Sounds promising. I sure do hope so, because something has got to be done. My house is a messy wreck, I'm barely keeping up with the "musts" in the yard and I spend waaaay too much time lying down, or stuck in my chair. This has got to get better.

Blessings, friends! --Romeena

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83140:
Concerning the earthworms, at least you don't say "Ech!" like Miss Peggy. haha
It seems like an oxymoron that "molassas" would
prevent ants, as it sure seems like it would draw them, but I'll give it a shot.
RO- I looked up the airrosti on google and looks like runners like it. Hope it works for you.
God bless friends, Rev have a good concert.
APB for POOR Horatio.

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83141: Hey Y'all! Just popping in to see what's going on. Dried molasses,concerts,ants and chiropractors-what a combo! LOL
I have been thinking on a new storyline for "Mayberry- The Later Years"- think I might have something. Let me put my bucket back on my head and have a few more thinks though. Meanwhile,if anyone has an idea, bring it on- let's get another story started!
possum under a rock

P.S. My idea does NOT involve Helen, BTW!

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83142: O.K. Possum. I get one started.
The opening scene shows a Pa and his son walking down a dirt road along side a pond.
The Dad is whistling a catchy toone while the Son bends down and heaves a rock into the pond just as they get to their fishing hole.



March 25, 2011 - Msg 83143: Haha Very funny, whay don't you and possum team up and call yerselves frick and frack! (:

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83144: I think that rock must've caught you right in the head, Asa! LOL
Better get yourself over to the taxidermist what swed up Hogette's noggin!

possum again

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83145: oops- must've hit me in the head too- I can't spell! Make that "SEWED" up Hogette's noggin!

possum u. a. r.

March 25, 2011 - Msg 83146: I am for sure going to try the dry molasses. I've had a slug problem in my garden and flower beds for years. The little fellers (I had to use the word "fellers", because I suspect the scensor won't let me use the word I usually call slugs...) I hate 'em, they've attacked and killed so many plants in my garden/yard in the last 10 years or so. They love Zinnia's. They love snap peas. Ug. Anyhow, I've tried that bate you put down, and it works, but you have to use so much, and it's a poison, so I really hate using it. I have tried the "Slug Pub", where you bury a dixie cup a couple inches below the surface of the ground, and fill it half full with beer. Slugs find beer irresistable, and they crawl over to it, fall in the cup and drown. Trouble is, it only takes care of a few slugs, and when you've got a slug problem, then there is way more than that. Also, I hate wasting good beer... My favorite method is to go out in the early morning, when the sun is just coming up, and pick them off by hand. That's their best time to snack on their favorite plants, and you can usually catch them happily munching away. I come prepared with a plastic bowl, full of salt. I pick the slugs off, drop them in the salt, and watch them squirm, and then die. HA! Now you all know more about me than you wanted. Folks, I am an animial lover, a creature lover, but there's something about slugs, squash bugs, and mosquitoes. Can't stand them, and have no problem suishing them, slapping them, or watching them curl up and die. Anyhow, I'm going to try the dry molasses.
- Hazel

March 26, 2011 - Msg 83147: About the dry molasses, I'm not sure whether it gets slugs or not, but I know the diatomaceous earth will. I do know the molasses gets rid of fire ants. I don't know if it kills them directly, but I think it promotes such rich microbial activity in the soil that the ants are driven out. Best of all, it's not a poison, and neither is the diatomaceous earth. And they work.

Want to hear a funny story? I told you about buying the new TV because my old one kept shutting down for no reason and the repairman said the lamp was going out (again). Well, two days after hooking the new one up, it suddenly shut itself off. I turned it back on, and it played, but it would shut down periodically, just like the old one did. Needless to say, I was a bit upset. My son came over tonight to hook up all the surround sound stuff, using the new HDMI cables (bigger wires) and the sound about blasted me out of my chair. It comes from here, there and everywhere, and would literally let you hear it if someone dropped a pin - it's that sharp and clear. Anyway, I had told him about the new TV shutting off, so he switched the power plug on the TV to a different outlet in the Monster Power Block thingy. (It's just a big surge protector.) He plugged the sound system into that instead. Sure enough, in an hour or so, suddenly we had picture but no sound, except what came from the TV's own speakers. Soooo - I bought a new TV when I didn't need to. It is a faulty outlet in the power block. I'm replacing that puppy most promptly - like tomorrow - lest it short out or something and cause a fire. Not likely to happen, but I take no chances with stuff like that. I'm not complaining, though. I got a good deal, and two years to pay for it with no interest charges, and I've got a TV that's state of the art, has an absolutely awesome picture, like you could just step into it. Since TV is my primary entertainment, I'm just going to enjoy it, and either pass the other set on to a kid or grandkid, or donate it somewhere. Actually, I think one of my grandsons will want it.

Well, they've all gone home, the TV and sound are now working beautifully, and I'm tired. I'm going to bed! Nitey-nite, porch, and blessings on you all. --Romeena

March 26, 2011 - Msg 83148:
Well, Ohio State is out of it, so thank God you didnt use me as your bookie! ha But, man, what a game!! Back and forth the whole night until a missed 3-pointer with one second left on the clock!!
RO- one question-->then why did replacing the lamp (on the old one)make it work ok for so long? Just wonderin'.
HAZe- I guess you're like Andy "I've stepped on a few of 'em, but I've never eaten any." ha And he, too, did not let a good beer go to waste! ha
Well, nighty night all,

March 26, 2011 - Msg 83149:
Morning porch family......leaving out the door for my concert tonight. Ya'll be good:) least you know what the problem is.....after speading a bunch of money.

MDC.... Ohio State went out with a bang

Gotta get going
Love and prayers!

March 26, 2011 - Msg 83150: For heaven's sake, Hazel, keep Asa away from the slug pub!! I'm like you when it comes to mosquitos...I would kill them all if the frogs wouldn't starve!

You'll enjoy the TV, Ro. When we got our new ones I couldn't believe what it was like watching my TAGS dvds. It was like being right there with Barn and Andy.

Well, I would love to start an new episode but got company coming for the family bar-b-que today and have some last-minute things to do. Wish you were all here to spend the afternoon with us. Gonna be lots of good eatin' and some porch-sittin. Better git..


March 26, 2011 - Msg 83151: Possum, maybe you can start the next ep and later tonight I can add to it.


March 26, 2011 - Msg 83152: Afternoon everyone! Brrrrrr....where did that warm weather run off to? It's about 40 degrees here in Independence, Mo. and is spitting snow flurries! Three days ago, it was *79!!

I'm lookin' forward to the next porch episode. I will try to contribute a little more with this one. I would rather go back more instead of "The Later Years." I think we should go back to the ol' black and white versions where Opie is small and Andy is in a good mood! LOL!

Talk to you soon!

John Masters

March 26, 2011 - Msg 83153: I agree John. Lets do an episode prior to Helen arriving in Mayberry. I know a lot of folks don't care for season 1 much. They thought Andy's overeaching attempts at being a hick were too much. But I always liked it. There were some special moments in season 1. The ones with Emma Watson/ Brand when getting mad at Andy for not arresting Ellie for murder were hilarious. "Bad ba-ad Sheriff". Or calling Barney a "Naughty Deputy" I sure wish she could have been a regular on the show before her passing. And the same with Mayor Pyke. With the exception of the episode when he was trying to run Frank Myers off, I really liked our fat little mayor. He was the perfect politician, wasn't he. Always trying to take both sides of an issue when it suited him. Liked him way better than Stoner. But alas, I believe he passed away also. Too bad.


March 26, 2011 - Msg 83154: Good afternoon, porch! What a beautiful day it is here - sorry about your snow, John Masters. I lived in Springfield, MO, for a couple of years, and I know about those springtime cold snaps. I guess we won't get any more frost here, everything has leafed out or budded, and most important of all, the mesquite trees have leaves. You can always trust the mesquites.

MDC, your point about the TV is well taken, and I would have the same question, except I have another question that came first. When the repairman analyzed the problem with the TV this last time, he said "it's just like it was before when we replaced the lamp. You need a new lamp." I questioned it, because I didn't remember the first time that way. I remembered that the picture grew dark, and sometimes wouldn't come on for several minutes. I told him that, and he still said it was the same problem, just showing up a little differently this time. Hmmm. OK, what do I know about TVs, so I paid him the $95 for the service call and started looking for a new TV. I wasn't about to be replacing a lamp every year or so. So, my impression is that it really was the lamp the first time, but was not the lamp this time. I think the old TV is perfectly good, and it was the failing Monster Box that caused the problem, because it's doing the same thing with any component we plug into that particular outlet on the box - it shuts it down every now and then. Well, you live and learn. I should have argued a bit more strongly with the diagnosis this time. I don't really regret it though, because I've got some super TV going on right now. We watched part of "Avatar" last night and it looks like they're going to just jump right out of the screen!

My son bought me a copy of "Secretariat", and I'm waiting to watch it when I can really stay with it and enjoy it. That horse and his story have always had a special place in my heart. What a glorious animal he was! His Triple Crown win in 1973 has never been equaled since. His finish in the 1973 Belmont Stakes secured that crown, when he left the rest of the field about 1/16 of a mile behind him. In racing terms, that's a loooong lead! When they stop talking "lengths" and go to fractions of a mile to describe a horse's lead, well, that makes history. I've always loved horses, and I guess Secretariat is my hero. His jockey, Ron Turcotte, deserves a lot of credit too. A soft-spoken man, his description of the rides was typical of him. He said, "I just sat up there and let him run."

Well, I have to work tonight, so guess I'd better get a few things done around here, and then catch a little nap. Blessings, friends! --Romeena

March 26, 2011 - Msg 83155: Not til I get some sleep, Boo! Been up since 4 am- only 3 hours sleep! Can you guess who's here this weekend? Ha Ha Once I recover from Laci thinking my rock is Disney Land, I'll get going on my story idea.
Y'all have a good evening!
possum under a rock

March 26, 2011 - Msg 83156: hi porch friends,just coming by for a minute to ask you all to keep me in your prayers.I was in the hospital a couple weeks ago with high blood pressure.thanks friends-ky girl

March 26, 2011 - Msg 83157: Hello again, All.

Romeena - This might tickle your fancy a might...the Kentucky Derby winner, Lawrin, ridden by Eddie Arcaro, is buried outside of Kansas City, Mo. over the Kansas line in Overland Park, Kansas. I forgot which year he won....1927...'28....somewhere in there. The farm he was buried on was torn down and a modern suburb is there now, BUT....Lawrin's grave remains! They built a circle drive around his grave and there is a small display of him in pictures standing at the gravesite. It's funny because here is his grave in this grass island and houses all the way around him. It's a unique site! You might punch him up on Google Images and I imagine their is a picture of it somewhere!

Asa - I liked the first year actually! I liked his hard southern accent and the "hick" tint to his character. I have always been a black and white TAGS fan. The color episodes are kinda the "Shemp" years if you get my meaning. I liked Curly better than Shemp, but Shemp held his own and the Stooges were still worth watching. When TAGS phased Andy out so they could do more with Emmett, Howard and Sam.....well.....those are the Curly Joe times! LOLOL!

Possum - Please start a black and white episode. i am kinda anxious to see where we take Mayberry before Helen!

REV & SPOT - Baseball is upon us again and I just cant seem to get into it anymore. Boy, I used to be though! But since the last strike and with some of the way the uniforms look and other changes, it just isnt as appealing to me anymore. Like when did batters start carrying their batting gloves with one in each hand while they run the bases?? And some of the uniforms look like pajamas (Manny Ramirez and C.C. Sabathia come to mind)! I think the whole Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds controversies left a sour taste too. Now, when someone hits 52 homers and has a ridiculous number of hits, the steriod question creeps in and I wonder if they are legit or not. I was a HUGE Royals fan, but owner, David Glass doesnt even seem to care about them. He puts on a good front to the media, but they seem to be just spinning their tires in deep mud. Lots of action and motor, but just not going anywhere.

Ok, I guess that does it for me today. Y'all take care and have a great night! "Howdys" to MDC, Boo, Tom, Lucy, Hazel, auh2o and everyone!

John Masters

March 26, 2011 - Msg 83158: Hi, porch! John Masters, thanks for the tip about Lawrin, I will definitely pursue that. I confess, my involvement with racing is mostly limited to my great admiration for Secretariat, but other noteworthy horses interest me as well, and there have been quite a few.

I liked the first year of TAGS too. I agree, Andy's accent was just a bit overly Southern-fried, but it was kinda cute at the same time. It certainly wasn't a deal-breaker for me. Besides, some of the phrases he would use sounded awfully familiar to me - things my own family would have said.

Well, I got my shower, hair is clean but still wet. Fortunately, I don't have to do much to it - just a little mousse, comb it into place and let it dry. That's about it. Sometimes one or two hits with a curling iron on top, but usually not even that.

Toye Starr is moping around here like the last rose of summer. She knows the signs, knows I'm going to work. Poor little thing, she's so attached to her mama, it's just misery for her when I leave. I'm not too thrilled about it either. I'd take her with me if I could. Oh well, it's just tonight, then I'm off tomorrow night, work again Monday night. One of these days, maybe I'll win the sweepstakes or something and then I'll stay home with my sweet little baby.

Have a great Sabbath, friends. I won't be going to preaching, because I'd never make it without falling asleep. Not after being up all night. Blessings! --Romeena

March 26, 2011 - Msg 83159: Well, had a wonderful day with family today! My brothers are already off for Santa Rosa so didn't get as much time with them as I wanted but they are so good to come back every spring to see my parents (bless them for it). Anyway, it has just been a lovely day. One of those afternoons spent sitting around the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, laughing together. Lots of good food and good conversation. Can't beat that deal and I didn't have to cook a bit of it this time. Bruce went and bought all the meat from a great bar-b-que place and my sister and niece brought all the sides and dessert. It was great! We had beef, chicken, and sausage, potato salad, beans, pasta salad, queso dip, pico de gallo with tortilla chips, a wonderful broccoli salad made with crumbles bacon, onions, cheddar cheese and mayo. We had browines and an apple cobbler for dessert. Everyone left about 5 pounds heavier than when they came!

Asa, I liked season one a bunch but I think trying to capture Andy in season one might be hard for me...I have a tendency to try and take the "southern" out of him when I write, for some's not intentional.

I would rather write more about how I think Mayberry would be AFTER you all think I have a hang-up when it comes to Helen? haha

Hope you have a good night at work, Ro. Poor little Starr! :-(

Think I will mosey outside and check the flowers to see if they need watering.


March 26, 2011 - Msg 83160: Well, it's about 10:30pm and I have a little time so maybe I will go ahead and start up a new ep while Possum is still thinking.

Episode 2: Barney Lays An Egg

It is mid-day on a slow Friday in Mayberry. Andy is at his desk in the courthouse, writing from his big book, with Barney sweeping up the jail.

Barney stops, pulls a hanky from his pocket and wipes his brow. "Hey Andy, you think the doilies on the chair need washin'? Looks like they are gettin' a little dingy. Wouldn't want that inspector to see 'em this-a way."

Andy looks up from his work, "I'll take em and let Aunt Bee wash 'em this weekend. Hey, you and Thelma Lou doin' anything tonight?"

Barney looks uncomfortable, clears his throat, "Uh...uh, no, wasn't plannin on takin' Thelma Lou out tonight...was thinkin' about maybe takin' Juanita over to Mt. Pilot for dinner."

"Juanita?..Barney, you ought not to do that to Thelma Lou. She's a nice girl and you shouldn't take her for granted like that, Barn."

"Ah, It's not like I'm MARRIED to Thelma Lou, and I figure what she don't know won't hurt her."

"But Barn, if she ever was to find out, it sure would hurt her and you don't know what she's bound to do. She might just decide there's other fish in the sea and that she can do better than a squirt like you."...Andy grins and rushes out the door as Barney is yelling, "Who you callin' a squirt!"

Barney props the broom in a corner and sits down at the desk. Putting his feet up on the desk, he leans back with his back to the courthouse door and picks up the phone. "Sarah, get me Jaunita at the diner.....Juaninta?...(in his low, letcherous voice) Juanita?..Barn. Yea, it's me...You what?...Now?...Andy might come back...Ok...(he croons) C0ck-a-doodle-doo (Thelma Lou opens the courthouse door just in time to hear the ridiculous crooning)..C0ck-a doodle-dooo...You like that, Juanita?..."

Thelma Lou looks shocked and runs out, slamming the door so hard, Barney almost falls out of his chair. "Uh..I gotta go Juaunita..I'll call you back." He jumps up to see who just fled from the courthouse and he throws the door open just in time to see Thelma Lou walking briskly past Floyd's Barber Shop and she is the only person on the sidewalk.



March 27, 2011 - Msg 83161: "Thelma Lou!" Barney yells sadly. "Thelma Lou!" Barney yells it again, but it's no use. Thelma Lou keeps right on walking. Realizing he has just got himself into a dilly of a pickle, Barney yells one more time from frustration.."THELMA LOU!" About this time, Andy comes back in from dropping papers off at the mayor's office.
ANDY: "What was that about?"
BARNEY: "Oh....nuthin'!"
ANDY:(With a uh-oh look on his face)"Well....I told ya! (Andy walks around the desk to take a seat as Barney stands gripping his gunbelt) "What am I gonna do with you, what am I gonna do with you?! I told you time and time again, Barn, that you just cant keep doin' that to Thelma Lou! You've been on the outs with her way yonder too many times and now it's caught up to you!"
BARNEY: "Well, I'll tell ya' this much....I'll do JUST fine without her...
ANDY: "Uh-huh"
BARNEY: "I mean it THIS time! Bout' time ol' Barn spreads his wings and flies a little. Yeah,(nervously) Maybe I did myself a favor! Ol' Barn's gonna live the life. Maybe I'LL put a windsor knot in MY stri-ped tie and hit that Miami beach! Whaddya think of that?!"
ANDY: "I think you're a sight! Look at yourself, Barn. You're all keyed up because you played one too many cards! If I was you.....(Barney cuts him off)
BARNEY: "Well, you're not me, so.....(Barney unwinds and winds right back up again) I just say that, as of right now, Barney Fife and Thelma Lou are Pbbbffttt!"
ANDY:(Sighs)"Ok, Barn. But I'll remind you of just one tiny little thing. Thelma Lou might be thinking the same thing! THIS time, for good! You better just think about that thing!"

Andy takes the trash can out back to be emptied. Barney goes over to sit in his chair, takes his hat off and rund his hands against the grain of his hair very angry.

Aunt Bee enters the courthouse and has a very concerned look on her face. Barney turns to see who entered.