March 30, 2011 - Msg 83245: Oh, and here is just a little bit more at the Taylor House:
As Opie and Johnny are just about to run upstairs to pull hairs out of Andy's suit, suddenly a rock crashes through the front window! Aunt Bee comes dashing out of the kitchen as the rock rolls under the coffee table.."What on earth! What happened?!"
Opie: "A rock just came crashin' through the window and almost hit me and Johnny. Looks like it has a note tied to it." Opie crawls under the coffee table to retrieve the note.
"Give it here," aunt Bee says and removes the note. She reads it aloud: "It's me, it's me, it's Earnest T." Aunt Bee gasps, "Not Earnest T. at a time like this!" She opens the front door to peer out and there stands Earnest T. on the front lawn.
"You tell that sheriff that I'm gonna throw a rock through ever window in this 'sheer town if he don't stop Gomer from seein' my belov-ded Mary Grace!"...and with that, Earnest T runs into the night.



March 30, 2011 - Msg 83246:
side note: Ever wonder who wrote those cottonpickin' notes if Ernest T had no edjucashun? lol
Plus, what a thing to sweep with! Now there's
glass all over your clean porch! ha

March 30, 2011 - Msg 83247: Ha! That has crossed my mind a time or two, MDC!

Meanwhile,as Barney drowns in the duck pond..

Hee Hee

possum again

March 30, 2011 - Msg 83248: Poor old Barney's gonna get wrinkles. I'll try and get him out of this mess.

Barney, after splashing around for a while, screaming for help, finally realized he was only in about 2 feet of water and simply sat up.
BARNEY: Andy, whats the big idea? Why on earth did you throw me in the pond?

ANDY: Well Barney, you see it's like this. I know your feeling a might low tonight. You lost your girl. You lost your tooth. You lost your spark. I figure by doing this you're gonna get your fight back, march right over to Thelma Lou's house, and either patch things up, or break it off for good, because up to now you ain't been worth a plug nickel. Now get outta that water, get in the car and let's go see Thel.
I'll drive so I'll sit up front. Caroline will sit next to me up front. Barney, you're all wet so you sit in back.

BARNEY: Bu.....

ANDY: No buts Barn. We're going. Get in the car.

BARNEY: Now jus......

ANDY: Barn, I said get in the car. NOW!



March 30, 2011 - Msg 83249: Quit nit-pickin', MDC! Earnest T can write a little.

I have to admit I've been kind of ornery and thrown in some parts to this story that don't need to be there (Earnest T, for example). I'll stop now so someone can finish this episode. It's turning into long movie.


March 30, 2011 - Msg 83250: I am sorry for your loss of your mother, auh2o. You are in my thoughts.

And now, back to our story.
As Andy, Caroline and Barney drove back into town, they came up with a plan. They would go to Thelma Lou's house, and just Andy and Caroline would go in. Barney would wait in the car, until Andy would give the signal, which was to sneeze twice. Andy and Caroline would talk to Thelma Lou, maybe about the upcoming Founders Day celebration. When they got her all softened up, Andy would give the signal and then Barney could come to the door. Yep, that was the plan. They pulled up in front of Thelma Lou's house. To their surprise, Thelma Lou must have been watching from the window and saw them pull up. She came out in the front yard. "Hi Andy, Hi Caroline" she said, glancing in the back seat. "Is that Barney?".
"Uh, yeah, that's him" Andy said.
Thelma Lou walked over and looked in the backseat. "Hi Barney". sniff, sniff "What's that smell? You been doing some painting?"
Barney: "Well, I sort of fell in the duck pond".
"Oh, Barney, are you okay?" Thelma Lou asked. "You smell like fish, and crawdads. Bleck"
"I'll be okay, Thelma Lou, once I get cleaned up." And then, "Uh, uh, uh CHOOOO!"
Thelma Lou cried, "Why Barney, you've caught a cold, being out in that pond. You come in the house this minute and I'll get you some hot tea."
Barney looked at her, "Are you sure, Thel? I thought you was still mad at me. I sure am sorry about the whole mess. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't even like Juanita. You know you're the only girl for me, Thelma Lou. You're the Cats."
"Come in the house and we'll talk about it, Barney. But first, you have to promise me you'll never go out with or call Juanita again", Thelma Lou said.
"I promise, Thelma Lou."
And the two of them walked into Thelma Lou's house.
"Well", said Andy, "I guess that worked out pretty good, didn't it Caroline?"
"It sure did, Andy. Now let's go back to your house for some of your Aunt's ice cream!"
Meanwhile, back at Andy's house, Ernest T was waiting behind a bush, holding a big old rock.
- Hazel

March 30, 2011 - Msg 83251:
Auh2o....I am so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. As with the rest of our porch family, my prayers are with you and your family!

March 30, 2011 - Msg 83252:
Howdy porch family....this story is getting wild:) But it's

Love and prayers

March 30, 2011 - Msg 83253: You know what I think?...I think Caroline eats too much. First a big piece of pie at the diner and now ice cream. Slow down, girl! hehe

Hazel, I thought you were going to end this thang but then Earnest T popped up at the end!


March 31, 2011 - Msg 83254:
As the patrol car pulls up to Andy's house,
Aunt Bee comes rushing out the front door.

"Oh An-dee, we have a real mess. Ernest T Bass just tossed a rock thru our front windeow with a
note saying that he was going to break windows all over town unless Gomer stopped courtin' "his" girl, Mary Grace. Imagine that."

"What?, are you serious Aunt bee? Look Caroline, I'm real sorry about all this, I really am, but I better go find Ernest T."

"Well, in the few months that Ive been here, this has certainly proven to be a kooky town."

"Did you say 'kooky?' NOW I know who you remind me of! There was a female prisoner here a while back that used that very word to describe our jail, and you look a lot like her. Well, I don't have time to go into all that now, but I will. ERNEST T BASS ARE YOU OUT THERE??"

"I am I am, I'm Ernest T, and try as you might, you can't catch me!!"



March 31, 2011 - Msg 83255: Oh no, MDC, don't you go messing around and making Caroline (the future Mrs. Taylor) into some sort of ex-con!


March 31, 2011 - Msg 83256:
It could be her sister or cousin! (:

March 31, 2011 - Msg 83257: Good morning to my fellow Porchsitters! Well, hmmmm....seems Barn and TL has patched up. Now we are dealing with the mountain nut.

ANDY: "Dadburn it, Ernest T.! Those Darling boys were gonna kill ya once and I stopped them, but I got a good mind to do it myself! MMM!"
ERNEST T:(in serious, slinky voice)"Now I'll tell ya' straight, Sheriff. If'n Gomer doesn't stop seein' my beautiful Mary Grace, I'ma gonna go to that Gomer and beat him up at his gas station! (Ernest T. now starts getting wound up fast and jumping around) Yes, sir...HEE, HEEEE...I'm a gonna take that there gas hose and tir it around his neck. Then I'ma gunna stick it down his throat. Then...HEEE HEEEEE...(now serious) I'm gonna bust out every tooth that man done got in his head and make a necklace out of 'em! (Cankles and laughs maniacally as he runs off down the street)


John Masters

March 31, 2011 - Msg 83258: That should say TIE it^^^^


March 31, 2011 - Msg 83259: And "Cackles" ^^^^

This morning isnt starting out to well! LOL!


March 31, 2011 - Msg 83260: JM, down here in Texas "cankles" is what we call it when a woman has thick ankles! haha


March 31, 2011 - Msg 83261: Andy

March 31, 2011 - Msg 83262:
Andy drives over to the gas station and goes around back to talk to Gomer in his room.
He knocks on the door.

"Gomer you in there?"

Door opens: "Well, howdy Andy, what you doin' here so late? Yer car need gas?"

"No, no Gomer, the car has plenty of gas. I come by to warn you 'bout Ernest T. He.."

(Interrupts Andy) "Oh, Ernest T is lying out there in the woods. He already come by and I just bopped 'im one, and, shazam, he done went down and out."

"What? Really?" Andy grabs a flashlite an walks a bit and sees Ernest T.
"Ernest T" Andy says as he shakes him.

"What hit me, what hit me, this is it for Ernest T."

"Gomer hit you, you OK?"

"I quit, i quit, Gomer can have her, as i lay here flat, It just aint worth gettin' hit like that!"

Ernest T gets up and runs off into the woods.

"Finally," Andy says to himself exhaustively, " finally I can get home, what a day!"


March 31, 2011 - Msg 83263: Teehee...cute, MDC!

OK, I got the epilogue covered:
Andy is back home and it's a lovely, cool evening. Opie and Johnny are already in bed, Aunt Bee retired to bed early after having such an eventful day, and Andy and Caroline are sittin' together on the porch, just listening to the crickets and enjoying the peace and quiet. Andy is thinking about how natural it is to be here with Caroline and how when he is with her, there is no uncomfortable silence between them; they are content just to be in each other's presence. Andy could sit for hours just being with her, looking at her, smelling her sweet "Midnight Madness" golly, she smelled like a gardenia blossum. It was turning out to be a great end to such a stressful day.

Caroline seems deep in thought and then says, "Andy, why do you think Barney has never asked Thelma Lou to marry him? I just don't understand it. He says he loves her and she is the only girl for him but he won't commit. Seems like he would be afraid of losing a wonderful woman like Thelma Lou."

"I guess he is scared for some reason or other but I'll tell you the truth, he had better think that thang over because some dishtowel salesman from Raleigh is liable to come and sweep her off her feet some day."

Andy pulls Caroline in closer and says, "Well, this isn't the duck pond but would it be ok if I was to kiss ya?"...and what a kiss it was!



March 31, 2011 - Msg 83264: Thank you Asa, for getting Barney outta the pond!

Gomer beat up Ernest T Bass?? Boy, the Marines must've really made a man outta him if he socked it to ol' Ernest T like that! ha ha

LOL @ Boo's "cankles" definition- good one!

Ok, so looks like Gomer's free to marry Mary Grace now..

Lemme think on it- y'all feel free to jump in ahead of me though!

possum under a rock

March 31, 2011 - Msg 83265:
Ya all beat everthing, you know that! (:

March 31, 2011 - Msg 83266: No, start the next one Possum. It's your story line and you should start it up.

Just finished fryin' up some potatoes in my iron skillet just like Grandma used to do. I read something about iron skillets and decided to buy one pre-seasoned (a 12") and like the heck outta that thing. I keep it oiled up and sitting on the stovetop ready to use and seems like nothing fries as good as that skillet. It's real good for making cornbread, heat it up before you pour the batter in, then bake it in the oven and the cornbread forms that nice, crisp crust on the outside.

Well, promised St. Susan that i would go with her to a women's conference at a local church..some famous author speaking but forgot her name. I am tired and ready to spend the evening at home with the kids (Bruce is working late, bless his heart). I guess its good for me to get out now and then and my sister and I never do anything together so I gave in to usual. did I ever tell ya'll that I didn't even get to sleep in my own bed growing up? St. Susan is five years older than me but was too chicken to sleep alone. I didn't get a bed to myself until she got married and moved out, and on top of that, sometimes she would wait for me to get nearly to sleep and then she would stick her cold foot in the small of my back and shove me out of bed! What a stinker she was. We had LOTS of laughs in those days, though.

Better finish dinner and get ready to go.


March 31, 2011 - Msg 83267: By the way, St. Susan has pulled that trick on her husband a time or two and boy did I laugh when I heard about it!


March 31, 2011 - Msg 83268: Evenin' folks,

Just sitting here after dinner and thought I would take a rock in the ol' rocker here. Been working on a new blog/website for my Quantrill project in Arkansas. Not a big site, but isnt too bad for what I have to work with. If y'all are interested, I'll let ya' know when I have it up. Gonna be a few weeks yet. I'll have a multiple choice quiz, image gallery, The Bookshelf (which is a listing of books on the subject of Quantrill and the border wars) and it'll have an window so you can learn more on any book that you fancy from the list. There'll also be links to other sites for book sellers, historic sites and organizations.

Well...gonna see what's up around the world wide web. Have a great night, all!

John Masters

March 31, 2011 - Msg 83269:
Hello porch family....well another episode in the books. Again.....GREAT job!

Well baseball fans.....PLAY BALL.....Yes I'm ready!

John Masters...sure sounds like you've put a lot of work into this project. I'm sure it will be great. can't beat a good iron skillet. My wife uses them a lot. We love ours.

Let's all meet at the diner in the morning for breakfast. Who knows....Andy and Caroline may even show up:)

Be all have a great night and a Jesus filled day tomorrow.
Love and prayers!

March 31, 2011 - Msg 83270: Let's all meet at the diner in the morning for breakfast. Who knows....Andy and Caroline may even show up:)
Well Rev, if there is food there I'm sure Caroline will be there also. I agree with Boo. She eats a lot. :)


March 31, 2011 - Msg 83271: Good evening!

Geez...feels good to sit in the rocker again. I had to bring my heating pad this time, though. My back is givin' me awful fits.

REV - I watched a little baseball today. I sure wish I could get back into it like I used to be! I used to get the USA Today Baseball Weekly paper for a buck back in the 90's. Read it almost cover to cover. Watched Baseball Tonight on ESPN, listened to the Royals on radio... Those were some good times. Being at Royals Stadium (now known as Kauffman Stadium) was a huge thrill for me. I remember when I was a little boy, I hated for the game to be over. When my parents and I were driving away down I-70 heading for home, I would look out the back windshield the entire way out of the parking lot and watch the glow of the stadium lights disappear into the distance as we went down the road. I remember the great promotional "diddys" for the Royals in the 70's and 80's like (sung) "It's Where You Want To Be. Baseball with the Royals!" LOL!
When I moved to Arkansas with my mom after my parents divorced, I could pick up Kansas City on my little radio. And at night, I used to put it under my pillow and listen to it after mom and I had went to bed. I got so sad hearing Fred White end the post game show and say "Good night from Royals Stadium in Kansas City." But, I knew they had a long homestand and I would get to hear that for the next nine straight nights. Also, when I was a wee lad, my friends and I played wiffle ball in the back yard and went the whole distance! My dad got so mad because we would rake the dirt, sweep the dirt, lay REAL chalklines. In fact, once, our neighbor gave us this huge tent he had that was kinda messed up and couldnt be used anymore. He told us "Here, you can use it as a tarp." So...when it rained....we laid down the tarp on the home plate area. My mother would tell me and my friends it was too muddy to play after a big rain. We would prove her wrong by going out, lifting the "tarp" and under it would be pure powdered dirt. LOL!

By the way, today, Angels 4 Royals 2
Nothing changes in the modern day!

Sorry folks, I kinda got lost in my childhood, but REV, I bet you got a huge bang out of this!

I wont be able to meet at the diner for breakfast tomorrow A.M. I am heading for Bass Pro to look for some fishin' stuff. All choir practices are cancelled for this weekend!

Hey to Boo, Ro, auh2o, Asa, MDC, Maude, Possum and everyone. Lots of luck to you and yours! have a great night!

John Masters

March 31, 2011 - Msg 83272: Great childhood memory, JM! Bein' a girl, I wasn't into sports so can't relate exactly, but my Grandfather was a huge baseball fan and when we would visit him and Grandma (outside of Detroit), Grandpa would listen to the Tiger games at night on the porch and the sound would filter through the bedroom window where I slept. I still find the sound of baseball on the radio very soothing. I miss Grandpa and Grandma and the wonderful summers I spent with them in Michigan.

Sorry your back is bothering you, JM.

Well Asa, lets hope Caroline has a quick metabolism like Barney cause she sure seems to have a "clock in her stomach" or something. ;-)


April 01, 2011 - Msg 83273: Well, here I am at the diner waiting for someone to show up. Asa, I saved us a booth because I want to discuss a future TAGS episode with involving a certain moldy bullet. I don't see Caroline of Andy here but if they come in, I'm gonna see what she orders...probably a stack of wheats, toast, eggs over-easy, side of bacon and juice and coffee, I'll bet..or something like what Barney would have. Where in the heck is Olive? My coffee is getting cold.


April 01, 2011 - Msg 83274: Caroline OF Andy?...what? OR


April 01, 2011 - Msg 83275:
"The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again."


April 01, 2011 - Msg 83276: Morning porch.
Hey Auh2o. I hope you are doing ok friend. You are still in my prayers.

Nice sentiments John. Life was a lot simpeler back in our youth huh?

OK Boo. Lets go ahead and order before Caroline shows up. I'd like to catch the cook when he is still fresh. I figure if we order before she does, we have a chance. :) And lets talk moldy bullets. And balls of tin foil.

Nice to have Friday here. First half of the weekend is supposed to be very nice weather wise. Sunday snow is forecast. I better get any yard work done tomorrow. Other than prune some of my wifes rose bushes I ain't done a thing in the yard so far. Not being lazy, but dealing with some gout in my right foot and ankle for the last two months. Am just now feeling better. Nasty stuff. Never had it before. Hope it never comes back.

Y'all have a great day and act like ya got some smarts.


April 01, 2011 - Msg 83277: Speaking of cooks, does anyone here watch any of the shows on Food Network? I really enjoy watching a show called "Chopped". Anyone else watch that?


April 01, 2011 - Msg 83278: Gout?...poor Asa. Look up what you should and shouldn't be eating to prevent a future "bout with gout."

I love to watch "Chopped" but seems I don't catch it very often. I also like Paula Deen's Butter Bash (her program) and 30 Minute Meals.


April 01, 2011 - Msg 83279: Oh, and I like "Unwrapped", where they show how things are made.

Possum, you thought of how to start that episode, yet??


April 01, 2011 - Msg 83280: Goooooood morning, everyone!

My it's sunny here on my side of the porch. Slept in late and have yet to get to Bass Pro. But, what's my hurry? I need to TAKE it easy, slow down. LOL!

auh2o - Still in my prayers too.

Asa - Ooooo, that gout will getcha. Hope it disappears permanently! I have dealt with two ingrown toenails. Not exactly the same, but painful nonetheless! Ouch! I watch a smidge of Food Network. When something catches me I'll turn on Paula or "Unwrapped."

Okee dokee, better get movin', much to do.

Doggone it, there I go again. It's just rush, rush, rush!

Have a wonderful day, folks. See ya later! By the way, left some sweet tea on the porch. Cups are next to the pitcher.

John Masters

April 01, 2011 - Msg 83281: Mornin' Y'all! I don't know,Boo. i seem to have Writer's Block at the moment. Y'all go ahead with a new installment- Gomer & Mary Grace can always get married later.
Hope John M. & Asa get to feeling better!

Just heard from Spot- he said for everyone to look for a nice crisp $100 bill in their mailbox. He feels like being REAL generous to all his Porch friends!

APRIL FOOL'S! Ha ha I figured I better nip that one in the bud pretty quick before Spot has a stroke!
Y'all have a good day & watch out for those pranks!
possum under a rock

April 01, 2011 - Msg 83282:
Good one Possum, ya got us!! ha
ASA- google natural helps for gout, lots odf good ones out there.
JM- ya make me want to grab my glove and play "catch' with you. Maybe do a little pitching like Opie and Andy in front of the courthouse.
I will also say that those are neat memories with the radio. Did your dad ever by some ad spots to "talk to ya" (like andy said!) haha
And for Pete's sake, call Opie "SAFE" no matter what! lol.
94 here today! Too hot too early! Prayers for all,

April 01, 2011 - Msg 83283: Good morning, porch! It's beautiful here today, 73 at just before noon, sunny, beautiful clear blue skies, and birds and squirrels everywhere. Back yard is a busy place, just the way I like it. I see the pond filter is clogged again, as the waterfall is running mighty slow. Guess I'd better get it cleaned out before it stops. When it gets that clogged, the filter eventually rises to the top and usually turns over, dumping a lot of the sludge it has gathered back into the water! Quick action is the key. I almost hate to go out there, though, because I know if I do I'll be out there all day. One thing leads to another....

Irises are opening fast, and there are literally dozens of buds rising. A fantastic ice blue has opened - looks white from a distance, but up close it's got a lavendar/blue undertone that's barely there. So pretty. Then a pink has opened that's about the same way, only pink. The spectacular black one back by the pond is open, with more buds coming up. Also, the amazingly fragrant "Halloween Halo" has opened. Can't wait to get a whiff of that. Butterflies are all over the place, drifting and fluttering around, such beautiful, delicate little creatures. The azalea beside the arbor just suddenly burst into full, glowing bloom - it's just a luminous red ball back there. It's my oldest azalea, about six years old, and every year it gets prettier. Along the back fence there are three more, but they're young, just a couple of years old. They bloom very nicely though, and will improve with age. The rose bushes are covered with buds, they should be putting on a spectacular show very soon. However, seven of the eight new roses I planted appear to be dead! They didn't look too good when they arrived. The one that has leafed out was in a separate shipment. I think they may have gotten too hot in the delivery truck. I'll be contacting Jackson & Perkins, most likely they'll replace them for me. They're good about guaranteeing their stuff.

I can hardly wait to see what happens next around here, especially regarding Andy and Caroline. I never disliked Helen, but I did feel that someone who was a lot less petulant would have been better for Andy. Those pouty spells she'd have just weren't all that becoming. Andy knew it too - it sort of slipped out that time when he told her "This is ONE argument you're not going to win!"

Asa, drink lots of water! LOTS of water! It isn't a guarantee against gout, but it helps.

Well, guess I'm off to clean a filter. Blessings, friends! --Romeena

April 01, 2011 - Msg 83284: Thanks for the ideas folks. I will drink more water for sure. And I have read cherries are supposed to help. That's a good thing, cause I love cherries. Just hard to find them this time of year. I don't eat all that much red meat, and seldom eat shellfish, although I love both. But my uric acid levels have been high for years. I'm not sure why it just recently decided to cripple me with gout. You don't think it's because I'm getting o... o... ol... older do you? (nasty tasting word to spit out!)

MDC, serious? 94 already? We might hit 70 today. Ain't seen 7-0 since last October I bet. Sure does feel good so far this morning.

Dang Possum, I already had that hundred bucks spent before I even finished reading tyour post. Oh well, easy come easy go.

Romeena, school me about rose pruning would you? My wife just can't do it anymore and when I get done with em they look like Barney's sideburns after Floyd got hold of em. Not much left. Any advice?


April 01, 2011 - Msg 83285: Asa, try putting them in a pencil sharpener...

Well, 16 years ago today, I was getting ready to go into labor with my first child. Sean will be 16 tomorrow...can't hardly believe it. Time surely does fly.

Possum, I will probably try to start another ep with Andy and Caroline soon but let's see if anyone else starts one up today.

Been a buys day and I'm tired...had to do some shopping today and bought Sean some much needed clothes and shoes. One of the local department stores was having a buy one/get one for a dollar and I was able to get him 2 nice pairs of New Balance shoes for the price of one. They were very comfortable and the wide width that he needed.

Better chill for awhile and then think about getting dinner started. Just going to make hamburgers tonight..too tired for much else.


April 01, 2011 - Msg 83286: Good afternoon, porch! It has just been beautiful all day. I got out and pulled some weeds, cleared the pond pump, and took a few pictures of the first irises. There will be a lot more, but I like to take shots of the first ones, to document the time of first bloom each year. I have my photos filed by date, within categories, on the computer. Maybe I'll post some of these to the album, since I got that issue resolved and it's open again.

Asa, pruning roses really isn't hard. You just have to be a little more brutal than most folks are willing to be. It has taken me a few years to realize that I can prune very deeply without killing them. Here's a quick guide - in the late winter or very early spring (around here, that usually means in February) you prune very, very deeply. My bushes are left not much more than a foot high. You'll think you've killed them. Also, if there are dead canes, cut them off down to where they originate. After you've done that, look at what's left, and if there are any canes crossing or rubbing on each other, cut the weaker one off. Then leave them alone. When you start to see signs of sprouting, new growth popping out, feed them. As they grow, watch them for symmetry. If one cane gets too tall - way above the others, go down deep in the bush and clip it off. Some bushes will try to reach for the sky, instead of being nice and rounded. You'll notice that a cane like that usually won't have any buds on the tip, while the others do. It will have new leaves, but no flower buds. It's just "bolting" and needs to be cut back. If the bushes seem too dense, or if you see any crossing canes, go into the middle and clean it out a little. Remove any weak canes or sucker-like sprouts, and of course, the weaker cane when two are crossing each other. The idea is to give room for air circulation. Check frequently, like daily, for aphids if they're a problem in your area. They definitely are here in Texas. As soon as you see some, don't reach for the spray. Go to a garden center and buy a quart or two of ladybugs, depending on how many roses you have. Refrigerate the containers until you're ready to release the bugs. Around sunset, spray your bushes lightly (plain water) to dampen them. Then set the bug container in the bed and open the lid. Let the bugs come out on their own. They'll come out as soon as they warm up, and will quickly fly up into the bushes and start munching. By morning, there won't be an aphid in sight. Once they're all gone, the bugs will leave for buggier yards, but yours will be aphid-free. You may have to repeat this process in a couple of weeks, because the ladybugs likely won't return. If they happen to land in a yard that uses sprays, it will kill them too. After a couple of weeks or so, the aphids won't return either. Their breeding cycle ends, and they're gone. I love this method of insect control, vs spraying. If you're troubled with bagworms, you can release trichograma wasps as soon as the bagworms appear, and the wasps will solve the problem for you, just like ladybugs do.

Anyway, back to the roses - that's how I prune mine, and they do very well. Judicious pruning is the key to success with a lot of flowering plants. Also, plants tend to be pretty forgiving. If you mess it up this year, they may not bloom, but they'll reset their clocks and will bloom for you next year. You may remember when Eddie's helper thought he knew better than Eddie, and even though he was told not to do it, he deeply pruned my white spirea bushes one spring. Of course, they didn't bloom that year. They bloom on old wood! They did, however, put out two canes for every one he cut off, so the next year I had quite a show! You can get the same effect by pruning AFTER the bloom, but the point is, it didn't ruin the bushes. OK - I hope this helps!

Gotta run. Have been in the yard, am grubby, and need to pick up Eloise in an hour and a half, to go play bunco. Should be fun, but I definitely need a shower and a shampoo first. Blessings! --Romeena

April 01, 2011 - Msg 83287:
Yes, Asa, 94 and 95 tomorrow. Darn that Al Gore! ha But Monday and the rest of the week should be in the low 80s, normal for this time of year.
BTW, you can buy CHERRY capsules at most healthfood stores and they work well.
Rev, YES, baseball is underway! woohoo
We'll see if the D-backs can do something again after 10 years of mediocre ball. ha

OK , here's a story line if anyone wants to take it up, otherwise we can do another.

Andy and Caroline are sitting on the porch swing at his house, (yup, they now have a porch swing like ThelmaLou's). It's Sunday, services are over, so it's about noon. Aunt bee is busy in the kitchen,
and Opie and Johnny are out RIDing their bikes.
As Andy and Caroline sit arm in arm, suddenly Caroline pipes up:
"Andy, you remember a while back when you told me that I reminded you of a female prisoner that you had here one time."

"Yeah, I 'member. And i never finished telling you about that did I?"

ANYONE want to go with it??


April 01, 2011 - Msg 83288: Well thank you Romeena. That was very helpful. Maybe I haven't been as bad as I figured cause I got em trimmed right down to nuttin. I will watch for the shoots you were mentioning. I don't think we have an aphid problem here, but I like your idea of using the ladybugs over chemicals. I don't use any chemicals in my veggie garden. Thanks for the info.

Well MDC has us off to a new start. I'll chime in.

Andy, looking off yonder, a small smile on his face as he remembers his near encounter, is about to tell Caroline about her when all of a sudden he remembers ......



April 01, 2011 - Msg 83289: that they don't have a porch swing and thinks 'Who in the world put up a swing when I wasn't lookin?' (just kidding)....I don't know where to go with this particular story line..

Hey, thanks for the pruning instruction, Ro. I still plan on planting some roses soon. :)


April 01, 2011 - Msg 83290: Oh, and I might add, I never pictured Caroline to resemble that lady prisoner...I kind of pictured her tall and graceful, subtly look more like Jessica Lang. Not that it matters, I guess.


April 01, 2011 - Msg 83291: Gosh gang I just cant keep up with the story telling!...gona try!..hey Romeena,Rev,Tom,Lucy,hazel,mdc Miss Boo....hey has anybody got any left over supper?...this old is hungry!..SPOT

April 01, 2011 - Msg 83292: And reading back...Asa I watch (at work) Food Net all the time...All of them!...SPOT

April 02, 2011 - Msg 83293: I just cooked hamburgers, SPOT...nothing fancy but they were pretty good. I'll send you one or two.

So you like food network, SPOT? That's good. I like it, too. Besides TAGS, about the only things I watch are food channel and TLC. I watched Paula Deen make an oyster casserole yesterday and it looked horrible!...I can't stand oysters and when she cooked some of them up on the stove, they looked like little gray pieces of something nobody should eat...yuck. Unfortunately, I am not a seafood eater, even though I live on the coast. I can practically walk down the road and find fresh seafood but never buy it. I must be really tired because I am going on and on about seafood. I had better hit the ironing board. I already had my shower and my Melatonin. :)

See you all in the morning with my coffee, but hopefully it will be later than 5:30am. I could sure use a little extra sleep in the morning.

By the way, I have a question for some of you folks who might be a little older than me (I'm 48, I think...born in 62). For a couple of weeks, I have been bothered by soreness in my ankles. It started in my right and I thought I injured it somehow and now the left one is getting sore, too. If I sit down for more than 10 minutes and then get up again, I feel like an old crippled woman! I have to limp for a bit until I work the soreness out. What in the world?! I know what most of you are thinking..."She's no spring chicken anymore". ;) I haven't done anything different..same shoes...same activities. I am on my feet most of the time during the day but I take little breaks like coming here to the porch and sitting down now and then. I probably just need to lose weight to cut back on the stress to my body but so far, I have not ever been very successful at that.

Goodnight, and God bless!


April 02, 2011 - Msg 83294: Oh no! You better not have given me your gout, ASA!

By the way, Maude, remember earlier when you said you had a fever blister? Well, the very next day one popped out on my lip! Sympathy blister or the power of suggestion? :) Please don't anyone say they are pregnant!


April 02, 2011 - Msg 83295: Ok, maybe I will add a little to the new episode before I fall into a deep sleep...

Andy: I remember that the lady prisoner I was going to tell you about was from Silar City and said her Daddy had a drugstore there...Caroline, didn't you tell me your Daddy had a drugstore?

Caroline shifts nervously in the mysteriously-appearing porch swing..."Well, Andy, I guess it's time to tell you more about my family...You see, I have a sister..."



April 02, 2011 - Msg 83296: We now interrupt our program with a word from our sponsor, Sanka coffee...

April 02, 2011 - Msg 83297: Uh oh Boo. You ever had your uric acid levels checked? You may want to.

Spot, I figured you would like the food shows. You like to cook. I can't cook, not a lick, but I know how to eat purty darn fine.

MDC, I may have to visit a health food store and get some cheery tablets. Everything I'm hearing about it says that cherries are a plus for gout. Maybe doing that along with flushing my system out as Romeena suggested, I can rid myself of this stuff. I'm thinking old injuries have something to do with this also. I broke this ankle and severly sprained it 20 years ago, and it felt just like it did after I had injured it. I'm glad it's feeling better right now.

Caroline continues: And we don't like to talk about it much but she was always kind of a rebel. She has ashamed the family with her constant lifestyle wanderings. And she has been in and out of jail more times than we can count. It's one of the reasons I moved to Mayberry Andy. We look so much alike I had folks always thinking I was her. So I thought coming to a small town like Mayberry would bring that to an end.
Caroline begins to weep: Now it sounds like she has even been here, tarnishing the family name.... what was her name Andy?



April 02, 2011 - Msg 83298: HAHA Cheery tablets. They might work better than cherry tablets. lol Maybe I'll try them first.


April 02, 2011 - Msg 83299: Will you share those Cheery tablets with me, Asa..I need 'em bad.

Andy: "I don't remember her name, I'll have to go back and watch that episode on DVD and I'll let ya know."...hehe...(just joking)


April 02, 2011 - Msg 83300: Good Morning to you, folks. A bright, sunny morn' to start the weekend on my end of the porch.

Darn spider on my rocker *brush, brush*....ok, where was I?

Ro - Your flowers sure sound inviting to see. As always, your descriptions satisfy and paint quite an interesting picture to admire.

Asa - Keep after that gout. Sounds like you are almost to the end.

Just got through taking the little dogs for a walk around the Independence square with the wife. They tug and pull and think they can go a hundred miles an hour from the end of a leash! LOL! But once they figure it out, it's a nice little trot around around the square. Kinda crisp this morning, but is supposed to be *70 and sunny. Going to the GMIL's for a birthday get together later today. Gonna have sammiches and tea and cake and ice cream for dessert. Yum, yum!

Well, better skeedaddle outta here. Y'all have a fantastic day and I will see you asap!

Hey to Boo, MDC, auh2o, SPOT and the gang!

John Masters

April 02, 2011 - Msg 83301: Andy said "Let's see. Oh, I remember, it was Angela."
"Yes, that is my sisters name, so it must have been her", Caroline shook her head sadly.
"Well, just 'cause you got someone in your family that committed a crime doesn't mean anything, Caroline. I expect if we all looked back in our family trees we'd have some bank robbers and horse thieves."
"Thank you for understanding, Andy," Caroline said, "but I'm afraid there's something else I need to tell you too..."
- Hazel

April 02, 2011 - Msg 83302: Wow! I've never seen such fertile imaginations as you folks have. I'm really enjoying this, and can hardly wait to see what happens next. Boo, you had a great idea - thanks!

Well, I gave all my new roses one final check, and sad to say, of the eight we planted in the last few weeks, only one is healthy. The other six are either dead or dying. Very disappointing. The one that's healthy was shipped all by itself, so that makes me think the others were held too long on a truck somewhere or something like that. Anyway, I called Wayside Gardens and told them about the problem, and they immediately said they would replace them. You can't beat a deal like that. I've bought from Wayside for a lot of years, and have never had a problem, but I did know they had that guarantee, so I thought I'd check with them. They didn't fail me.

I've got some serious weeding to do. Even with the corn gluten meal, there are some weeds that aren't affected by it, so guess I'll get out my little chopping hoe, and warm up my strong set of pinchin' fingers, and go out and do battle.

Blessings, friends! --Romeena

April 02, 2011 - Msg 83303: Uh, that's "the other seven are dead or dying." I never was any good at math. --Romeena

April 02, 2011 - Msg 83304: Hi porch friends.Thank you all so much for all your prayers.I am starting to feel better.I'm on a low salt diet and some meds too.I've enjoyed reading all the episodes you all have made up.Romeena is right,you all have great imaginations!Auh20,I'm sorry to hear of your loss.I liked that quote from Field of Dreams,that is one of my favorite movies.Take care everybody,I'll stop in later-ky girl

April 02, 2011 - Msg 83305: oh,John Masters,that sounds like a nice little "ball field" you all had as kids!-ky girl

April 02, 2011 - Msg 83306: Glad you're better, ky girl.
- Hazel

April 02, 2011 - Msg 83307: You're welcome, Ro, glad the idea caught on.

Hey there, KY Girl. Great to see you on the porch!

"Hey" to John Masters, too.

Hazel, I wish you woulda continued with that and told us what else Caroline needed to tell Andy.


April 02, 2011 - Msg 83308: OK, I'll go ahead and add to the episode:

Caroline looked anxiously at Andy and hesitated..."Well, Andy, this is not easy for me to talk about..."
"Caroline, you don't have to be afraid to tell me something about your family, Honey. We all have family problems...our family has Uncle Ollie.."
Caroline is looking more anxious by the minute and she blurts out, "It's not about my family,'s about me!"
"Well, it can't be that bad, then. What in the world is it?.."
"Oh Andy, I just don't know how to tell you this but I know I have to. I can't go on in this relationship unless you know the truth....
"Well, take your time. Nothing you could say could change the way I feel about you."
Caroline takes a deep breath..."Andy...Johnny is adopted...and I'm a man!"...
Got 'cha!

hehehe...ok, fix THAT somebody...


April 02, 2011 - Msg 83309: Guess I better fix it...

Andy just about jumps out of the chair he is sittin' in..."What?!!..You're a what?!"
Caroline can't help but burst out laughing.
"Not really, Andy. I just thought that after I told you that, the next bit of news might not be so shocking. I'm sorry!" (Caroline continues to laugh)..



April 02, 2011 - Msg 83310: Oh Boo, you scamp! You really blew me away with that one. Now I can't think straight. lol


April 02, 2011 - Msg 83311: "Well, you sure got me on that one, Caroline"
"I know, I'm sorry Andy" smiled Caroline. "Okay, now that you know about my sister the criminal, I thought there's something else you should know. Angela and I were adopted. We had a wonderful childhood though, and our parents loved us and provided everything we needed. I really don't know why Angela turned out the way she did. Anyway, after my husband died, I got to thinking about a lot of stuff, and for some reason began to think about my biological parents. I spent a lot of time doing research, and I was able to find out who they were. My biological mother passed away several years ago, but my father is still alive. And that's what I wanted to tell you, and that's part of the reason I came to Mayberry. I was able to track him down, and he lives here in Mayberry!"
Andy said "No kiddin? Who is it?"


- Hazel

April 02, 2011 - Msg 83312: I declare, Hazel, you have a built-in mischief streak! Let's see who picks up on this one. Veeerrry interesting! And as for you, Boo, well, there are just no words to describe you! --Romeena

April 02, 2011 - Msg 83313: Caroline: Thats the problem Andy. I don't have a name for him. But I know he lives here in Mayberry. Is there any chance you could help me try and find out who he is?
Andy: Why sure Caroline. I spect" we can put our heads together and do some deducing. Hey, I got an idea. Lets get the Womens aux. club involved. They are excellent and stuff like this. Why just last year they discovered that our own Otis Campbell was related to Nathan Tibbs. Whaddya say?

Carline: Why thats an outstanding idea Andy!

Andy, grinning from ear to ear: Why you took the words right outta my mouth. What information can you give me about him?

Caroline: Well I know this for sure he.......



April 02, 2011 - Msg 83314: "... well I know this for sure, he is a church-going man. The records I was able to find show he was raised in a religious household."
Andy said, "Caroline, that would about describe most folks in Mayberry. Let's think about this though. He'd have to be about Aunt Bees age... maybe a little younger or older... maybe it's Mr. Schwump? You two sort of hit it off at the dance the other night. Or Mr. Foley? You don't reckon it's Floyd?! Or maybe Mr. Meldrum over to the bank... Or maybe Ben Weaver. Oh, I hope it's not him..."
Caroline smiled and said "Thank you for helping me, Andy."

- Hazel

April 02, 2011 - Msg 83315:
Hello porch family the baseball memories. Brought back some GREAT times in my past.

You folks beat all with this on going story. I catch myself sneaking by just to se what going to happen glad to see ya back and doing better. Been praying for ya!

Asa....Real 100% cherry juice or pills along with plenty of water is the best remedy you'll find. Ro and MDC are right on it.

Well I'm tired so I'm heading to bed. See ya'll tomorrow. Have a good night and a great worship day tomorrow.
Love and prayers!

April 03, 2011 - Msg 83316: Thanks for the confirmation Rev. Have you had gout bouts before?

Glad your doing better Ky girl. Take care of yourself and keep on them meds.

Hazel, you got a Father figure in mind for Caroline?

Can you believe Butler has made it to the Championship game for the second year in a row. I hope they can do it this time around.

Just peeked out my window and see it snowing. I got my lawn areated today and fertilized so it will work out just fine. I'm ready for some warmer weather though. I have a bunch of swamp coolers to get ready for summer at work and I'd like to do it without snowing on me. lol

Well better hit the old ironing board.
Oh, btw, today is me and the Mrs 33 year anniversary. Boy have the years flown by. Guess that means they've been mostly good.


April 03, 2011 - Msg 83317: I don't understand how Caroline knows so much about her biological father but doesn't know his name? I'll bet it's Floyd and I really hope it's not that guy from the dry cleaning shop who flicked cigarette ashes on everyone and hated rhinestones. What was his name again?


April 03, 2011 - Msg 83318: Oh hey there, ASA, we musta been posting at the same time. Happy Anniversary to you and Mrs. Asa! I can't believe it is snowing at your place. Its nice and warm here tonight.

Today was Sean's birthday so we took him and a friend out to eat mexican food and then a quick trip to the mall. It was such a nice was perfect.

Think I'll get to bed. Gotta get up for sunday school in the mornin'. Goodnight everyone.


April 03, 2011 - Msg 83319: Happy Anniversary to Asa and the Mrs! 33 years - cool!
And Happy Birthday to Sean!
Yeah, I guess I do have a "father-figure" in mind for Caroline, and it was none of the fellers I mentioned in my post... But someone else may come along and reveal their own choice anyway, so, we'll just have to wait and see! (like on the old Carol Burnett Show, when they'd say: Stay tuned tomorrow, for another episode of "As the Stomach Turns.")
It's 11:00 p.m. here, and just got a call from my son. Wanting to know if I can come over in the morning and take care of the baby so he and his girlfriend can have a chance to sleep in. Turns out, my grand-daughter is pretty collicy (not sure how you spell that), and she cries most of the time. They're not getting any sleep. So I get to go over and take care of her so they can sleep in. I'm excited, and happy to do it. My son was collicy himself, so I know how that goes. I love being a Grandma!
- Hazel