April 03, 2011 - Msg 83320: Just passin' by on the way to the hay myself. Church comes early in the morning, and I have to work tomorrow night, so need to get rested up, but I just wanted to see how the story is going. Such suspense! Oh, it was Mr. Goss at the dry cleaners. Fred, I think. I sure was glad when Aunt Bee got out of that entanglement. Mr. Goss is not one of my favorite people. I'm sure he's nice and all, but he just looks, well - seedy! He could use a shampoo!

Hazel, that colic thing is one of those tricky words. I guess I know how to spell it because it's a term I use occasionally in charting at work, and it's used in equine references as well. Horses get colic. Anyway, it's "colicky". Apparently in English, when a noun ending in a "c" is being changed to an adjective, you have to add a "k" before the "y" or it looks funny. Like "garlicky" and "trafficking". Also, by our other weird rules, it would be pronounced funny, as the "c" would take on the sound of an "s". Good grief. No wonder foreigners find English so hard to learn. We have the most ridiculous spellings and rules. Now Spanish, on the other hand, has very simple spelling and pronunciation rules, but the verb conjugation will put cramps in your brain. By the way, you're a treashuh, to be going over there to take care of the baby. I hope those kids appreciate you.

Well, off to bed. Blessings! --Romeena

April 03, 2011 - Msg 83321: I thought I'd sweep up before leaving. All this story-writing has left pencil shavings and eraser crumbs all over the porch. Toye Starr helped, though. She's not as good at it as the Plum was, but she tries. Being so small, her little tail just doesn't dust a very wide swath at a time. --Romeena

April 03, 2011 - Msg 83322: Aw, glad you get to take care of the baby today, Hazel. Have fun!

I agree about Mr. Goss, Ro, but what really bothers me about him is that he is always telling people's secrets. He's a gossip in the worst way. Glad Aunt Bee ran from that situation.

Better get ready for preachin'. Bruce has to work today so I have to take his sunday school class. Luckily, they are all talkative and have something to share so I don't have to do all the talking.

Better go wake the kids. I am taking the neighbors little girls to church for the first time today. They are the girls who's mom drinks and she and her husband get into some pretty good fights. The little girls are 5 and 7, so wish me luck. ;)


April 03, 2011 - Msg 83323: Happy Sunday gang.....pot luck dinner after Church...I will bring collards and fried chicken....SPOT

April 03, 2011 - Msg 83324: Oh my goodness, Spot! Collards and fried chicken? I love collards, and who doesn't like fried chicken? Do you have a little pepper sauce for the collards? I'll bring a bottle, just to be on the safe side. Yummy!

Just sitting here looking at the irises that have opened. From my window, I can see solid pale pink, pale blue, yellow, white and purple. Also a lavender/purple bi-color, a black and a rust and cream. There are dozens of buds about to burst. I can see a bright yellow, more purples, one that I know will be purple and white, a purple and white streak - named appropriately Purple Streaker, and out front there is a huge clump of those gorgeous reds. Pretty, pretty things!

One rose bush has started to open, a creamy apricot, and the rest of the bushes are heavy with buds. I can hardly wait! Oh, and there's another iris, an intermediate-size, deep purple named Grapette. Pretty little blooms, not all that spectacular, but the fragrance! Yep - grape soda, and so strong. Walk within a few feet, and you can smell that sweet, grape-y scent. Takes me back to my childhood, when the only soda my parents would let me drink was - you guessed it, Grapette! No carbonation, you see, which my mom thought was bad for me. I wonder if they still make Grapette? Anybody know?

Well, got to go feed Toye Starr, and myself. I'm hoping for cancellation tonight, which would allow me to accept a dinner invitation from my brother and SIL - would be fun. Blessings, friends. --Romeena

April 03, 2011 - Msg 83325: ...uh, I don't like fried chicken. That's who!

April 03, 2011 - Msg 83326:
RO and SPOT-speaking of grammar rules and chicken, what about barney's rule about "i" before "n" in chicken?? haha
I have to go read the archives to get caught up.

April 03, 2011 - Msg 83327: I've never heard of grapette, Ro. My favorite soda was grape soda as a kid...I also loved grape slushes (but ONLY strawberry snowcones).

Guess what I got today? My first gardenia! I'm very happy!


April 03, 2011 - Msg 83328: Evenin' all, Just a quick drop in to say Hi and hope all is well with everyone! Hope you had a great weekend. See you tomorrow!

John Masters

April 03, 2011 - Msg 83329: okay, so no one wanted to continue "the story" today? Fine then, (she said sarcastically). Let's put it out of its' misery.

The next day, after church, Andy and Caroline were sitting on his front porch. Andy was strummin' on his guitar, and Caroline was watching. Barney was sleeping peacefully in his rocking chair. Aunt Bee had made fried chicken again, and everyone had just stuffed themselves something fierce. Gluteny, gluteny, gluteny...
All of the sudden they heard music, coming down the street. Why, it was the Darling's, paying a visit. As they pulled up to the house, Andy caught a glimpst of Charleen, and couldn't help but think... "goodness, she and Caroline sure bear a remarkable likeness to one another..."...
- Hazel

April 03, 2011 - Msg 83330: Oh, NO!!!..Not Mr. Darlin'! hahaha


April 03, 2011 - Msg 83331: Oh my goodness, Hazel. You sure threw the fat into the fire with that one! I love it! Oh, and since you don't care for fried chicken, you just tell us what we can substitute for you on "chicken days" and we'll see to it that it happens. How 'bout catfish? Or pork chops? Maybe you'd rather have a good old hotdog - that's another favorite of mine. Actually, I can't think of anything I don't like, except milk, and artificial sweeteners. I even like parsnips and eggplant and oysters and just about anything you could name. You just tell us what you do like, and we'll serve it up!

I got canceled for the first four hours tonight, so got to go to my brother and SIL's house for dinner. Yum! She had baked chicken breasts, and fried rice with toasted almonds, and broccoli, and homemade cookies and strawberries for dessert. Delish! I took Toye Starr along, and she was a little lady all evening, used her piddle pads faithfully, and I was so proud of her. My SIL had bought me a hanging basket, filled with fuchsia plants! I've never owned a fuchsia, and have always wanted one. Butterflies and hummingbirds adore that plant, so I'm going to put it near my big window. My brother gave me some beautiful small boulders to put in a flowerbed. He's a rock hound, and has collected beautiful rocks all his life. These are about fifty pounds each, and are all filled with quartz crystals, just beautiful. I'll scrub them clean and make a little show of them in one of the beds. He gave me a bunch of smaller ones when this house was being built, and the stonemason incorporated them into my fireplace. Some have crystals, some have deposits of iron pyrite (fool's gold) and are so pretty.

Well, guess I'd better call in and see if I have to go to work at 11:00. I hope not. I'd really like to just go to bed early for a change. Blessings, all. --Romeena

April 04, 2011 - Msg 83332:
Hog jowls, pigs feet and meatballs!! haha (:

April 04, 2011 - Msg 83333: Hazel, this whole Briscoe Darlin thing could be really good. It is starting to grow on me anyways. Let's see...

As the old truck pulled up in front of the Taylor home and stopped, so did the music and old Briscoe Darlin stepped out of the truck, hat in hand. Andy and Caroline had stepped off of the porch and strolled down the driveway to meet them. "Howdy Sheriff...Ma'am."
"Why Brisco Darlin. It's been too long! What brings you and the family into town this fine sunday afternoon?"...Nodding to Charlene and the boys..."Howdy Charlene...boys.."
"Howdy Sheriff, Honey. Who's the purty lady you're with?" (Charlene is looking Caroline up and down)
"Oh, I'm sorry...this here is Caroline. She and her little boy are fairly new to Mayberry."
"Nice ta meet ya, Ma'am," says Briscoe.
"Welcome to Mayberry," Charlene says with a suspicious look and a grin on her face.
"Thank you," (Caroline shifts uncomfortably under Charlene's gaze).

"Well, ya'll hungry? Aunt Bee fried up a mess of chicken. Got biscuits and honey, fresh greenbeans and tomatoes...might good eatin'!"
"Don't mind if we do as long as Bee don't decide to hit me with that dad-burned spoon again...I ain't about to be beat to death with no spoon!"




April 04, 2011 - Msg 83334: Mornin' y'all! Wow, it's Briscoe? I sure didn't see that one coming, Hazel! I love it!
I can understand Hazel not liking fried chicken. It would be about like me eating some possum stew!
Y'all have a great day- love to all!

possum under a rock

April 04, 2011 - Msg 83335: Good morning to one and all!

I'll tell ya' plum straight....this weather sure is odd. LOL! Here in Indep, Mo. it was 88 degrees YESTERDAY. This morning, it is in the 40's and the high is supposed to only reach 50! Are you kidding? Someone please tell Mother Nature to take her hand off of the thermostat please!

Hazel - You're not the only one who doesnt like fried chicken! Believe it or not, everyone...that makes two of us! I never did get the taste for fried chicken. I used to eat Chicken McNuggets as a kid, but that's about as far as it went. So I guess I'll have a couple of hot dogs on those "chicken days."

Boo - So how did the neighbor kids do at church??

Romeena - I have just started to get into rock related decor. I have found a real fascination in zen gardens and candle gardens. I am also an absolute nut about fountains too. But I have recently found that I would love to have a couple hundred dollars to go to a hobby place and/or garden shops and go nuts buying decor for tabletop zen gardens. River rocks, of all kinds, have caught my attention and the interests just kind of came together. As far as fountains go, water running, like a babbling brook or creek, just soothes me to no end. I walk into garden shops or retail stores and just fall in love with most of the fountains I see. It's a good thing I am not rich or I would need to be under restraint for the stuff I would buy. LOL! Do you have any fountains in your yard??

Well, let's see if I can pick up the storyline......

April 04, 2011 - Msg 83336: Story....

Scene switches to everyone gathered 'round the table. Goober comes racing in to the Taylor household...

GOOBER: "ANDY! ANDY! Come quick, Andy!"
AUNT BEE: "Oh my!"
ANDY: "Goober, what's the matter? Why you carryin' on like this?"
GOOBER: "Andy, I just saw Malcolm Merriweather come ridin' into town again and Ernest T. got a look at him! Then Ernest T. went whoopin' and hollerin' down the street yellin' ROUND TWO, ROUND TWO! Ever since he found out that Malcolm really wasnt Irish, he didnt forget and I think he still wants to settle the score! Is that Chicken?
ANDY:(rolling eyes and fidgeting in his seat) MMMM! Yes, Goober, it's chicken. Have a piece!
GOOBER:(shyly) "Thanks! I gotta go, Andy but I just thought you should know!"
ANDY: "Thanks, Goob! I'll get right on it!"

Goober leaves

BRISCOE: "Sheriff, me and the boys'll lend ya' a hand if ya' need it."
ANDY:(angrily) "That Ernest T. is about to drive me nuts!"

At this time....Warren comes into the Taylor home

WARREN: "Andy, I just came from the courthouse and just before I walked out of the door, Ernest T. threw a rock through the courthouse window! He was yelling about you lying to him and how we was going to get even with Malcolm Merriweather."
ANDY:(getting up from table) "That tears it!"
BRISCOE: "C'mon boys! The sheriff needs our help and I aim to see he gets it!"
ANDY: "No, Briscoe, I can handle it!"
BRISCOE: "We've just have had it with Ernest T. too, Sheriff and I ain't about to have him throw a rock through my windas anymore!"
ANDY: "He isnt mad at you, Briscoe! He's mad at me and Malcolm!"
BRISCOE: "Just a matter of time, Sheriff. He'll find anything he can to have a chanst at throwin' a rock and I aint gonna let it happen again! C'mon boys!"
ANDY: "Excuse me, Caroline...Aunt Bee. I better go see where he is and what he's doin!

Andy, Warren and the darling men all leave the house. The hunt for Ernest T. begins!


Y'all have a great morning! Hope to be back later and see where the story goes!

John Masters

April 04, 2011 - Msg 83337: As the group walks out the door, a rock comes flying in and hits Warren right in the head, killing him on the spot!

(hee hee hee, I would like to get rid of Warren as much as Boo wanted to get rid of Helen, only my method is more permanent)

OK, we can't use this as part of the story line but you can't blame me for trying. LOL


April 04, 2011 - Msg 83338: Hey Asa...that's mean! You really dont want to kill Warren? Right? Huh,huh,huh, Sure you dont. You know that's murder, right? Huh,huh,huh...sure!


April 04, 2011 - Msg 83339: Oh my, Asa, you've got me laughing my danged head off- I LOVE it! Warren irritated me WAY yonder more( as Andy would say) than Helen ever did. I vote to keep the "killing of Warren" in the story!! Heck,we can have a trial and everything! LOL
possum again

April 04, 2011 - Msg 83340: A hushed tone came over the crowd as they gathered around Warren's lifeless form.After a few moments, Goober spoke up...

" Uh, Andy, maybe he's just knocked out cold.I'll run over to Hogette's and get her husband-maybe he can just sew up Warren's head and he'll be all right. Maybe he ain't..dead?"

Andy reaches for Warren's wrist and checks for a pulse.

" No, Goob, I'm not getting a pulse. I believe he's gone all right."

" Shazam!"

" Oh, hey Gomer. I'm glad you're here. I need some help right now. I'm swearing you in as acting Deputy. Help me round all these folks up." Andy said.

" Folks, I'm just as sorry as can be,but I've got to take you all into custody until we can get to the bottom of this thing."


possum under a rock

April 04, 2011 - Msg 83341:
Wow!! I only got a second but I gotta say, NO I must say, a Chicken McNugget is not fried chicken. Who knows what McNuggets are. wink-wink


April 04, 2011 - Msg 83342: The neighbor kids loved church, JM, thanks for asking.

HaHa..you people kill me (or should I say you kill Warren?)! Let's leave him dead, if its ok with John Masters. I like the idea of a murder trial in Mayberry! Now if we could just get somebody to kill Helen and Fred Goss, this thing could be perfect.


April 04, 2011 - Msg 83343: Oh, and Mayor Stoner...


April 04, 2011 - Msg 83344: By the way, Auh2o..I KNOW what chicken McNuggets are. I watched the movie "Supersize Me" and they said the Mcnuggets are made from the chickens with tumors that wouldn't pass inspection...Sean calls them, "Chicken McTumors"..Eww.


April 04, 2011 - Msg 83345:
Now that's a twist to the story....Didn't see that one coming. A killing in Mayberry...wow...now this is big....really big! Aint but one word for it............BIG

Sunny and 85 today....storms coming in tonight.

Spot...the Braves are looking pretty good. They come on early today.

Well race fans....Harvick did it again. I bet Kyle is saying..."What in the world?"

Gotta get going for now.
Ya'll have a Jesus filled day today and share it with someone!
Love and prayers

April 04, 2011 - Msg 83346: Now wait just a dadgum minute! LOL! We still have Ernest T. looking for reveng (<--Barney's spelling) against Malcolm and Andy.

Ok, so Warren is laying dead on Andy's porch/sidewalk and Andy, Gomer and the Darling men are about to head off to find Ernest T.



April 04, 2011 - Msg 83347: But the thing is, JM, Ernest T. didn't heave the rock that killed Warren! It was one of the Ernest T. "hunters"! Whoever it was, they were just practicing to fight fire with fire if they happened upon ol'Ernest T. Somebody threw a rock,and Warren got killed. The suspects?? Goober, Briscoe, the Darlin' Boys, or perhaps.. Andy??
And don't forget- Aunt Bee, Caroline, Charlene, and we can assume Opie & Johnny are all in the Taylor house having supper. Or are they?? Hmm....
The plot thickens!


possum again
Ernest T is still on the loose!

April 04, 2011 - Msg 83348: Or maybe the Count did it, because I didn't put " Ernest T. is still on the loose!" underneath my name- I typed that in as my third sentence up there- strange!

possum once more

April 04, 2011 - Msg 83349:
You people are crazy!! haha Sounds like the last episode of Seinfeld. LOL You got everyone involved 'cept for the soup-nazi! teehee
Wow, a who-dun-it in Mayberry? Maybe it was that con tag team who tried to get barney for breach of contract. ha OK, now I'm graspin'

As Andy and the Darlings head for their vehicles, a taxi comes driving up and out steps Barney saying:
"Well surprise, I'm here for a visit from Raleigh,the asphalt jungle. Ahhh, what's goin' on?"

"Come on Barn, strap on this side arm over your salt n pepper, we are on a BIG case, I'll explain on the way!"


April 04, 2011 - Msg 83350:
that was me!

April 04, 2011 - Msg 83351: MDC, no soup for you! Ha ha ha!

Yep, we've got a cast of characters,don't we? And now you're tossing Barney into the mix- LOL

possum again

April 04, 2011 - Msg 83352: Just PLEASE don't bring Helen back unless she's gonna git hit with a rock!


April 04, 2011 - Msg 83353: I'm only gonna add this:

Andy and Barney jump into the front seat of the squad car. "Great to see you at a time like this, Barn! You know, I sure wish you would consider coming back and being my deputy....We seem to have a recent vacancy".


April 04, 2011 - Msg 83354: hehehehe

April 04, 2011 - Msg 83355: hahaha, too funny. This might turn out to be as big as the "Who Shot J.R.?" from one of my old favorite shows, "Dallas". We've got the whole cast of characters, just about. Kind of like the J.R. question, we need to look at Who's got a motive to kill Warren? Oh, just about everyone, hehe. I'll try to stop by later, can't think of anything to add to the story right now. I haven't eaten dinner, and I can't think on an empty stomach. (my mother was the same way)
- Hazel

April 04, 2011 - Msg 83356: Hmmmm, maybe the rock was not meant for Warren. Any of you Sherlocks considered that? Maybe it was meant for Andy. That would mean who ever heaved it had....
A. A poor throwing arm (maybe threw like a girl)
2. Bad eyes.
D. Was just trying to create a diversion while they hit the bank. (anyone checked the bank lately)
You can see this has all kinds of possibilities. I would say the first thing they ourght to do is have the boys at the lab check and see if it's a local rock, or if it's from someplace else.
Gotta think outside the box folks! :)


April 04, 2011 - Msg 83357: what boys at what lab?

April 05, 2011 - Msg 83358: Helen did it!!


April 05, 2011 - Msg 83359:
As the squad car pulls away, with Barney holdin' on for dear life, and the Darlings' Model A truck follarin' close behind, Andy spots Ernest T Bass a runnin' and a jumpin' down Elm Street.
Pulling up beside him, Andy shouts at the top of his lungs, "Ernest T Bass you stop..., right now!"

Ernest T stops in his tracks and turns to face Andy, who has jumped from the patrol car.

"You lookin fer me sheriff?"

"Your darn right I'm lookin for you, now get in this car now!"

"OK, OK, I'm a comin, I'm a comin'."

Andy drives the car over to the courthouse, grabs Ernest T and puts him in a cell.

"Now Ernest T, something serious happened tonight."

Barney blurts out, "What's goin on, what's happening, what's happining?"

Then the Darlings enter the courthouse and Brisco drawls, "Let me and the boys at 'im sheriff."

"Now wait a minute, wait a minute!"

Suddenly the door flings open and in walks Luke Comstock! hehe

NEXT! (:


April 05, 2011 - Msg 83360: but what about the cotton-pickin rock?
- Hazel

April 05, 2011 - Msg 83361: Good grief, this is gettin' crazy!

"Well, what in the world? Luke Comstock?! What brings you to town?"
"Hello Andy, I got some business with your so-called deputy."
"Yeah, Warren."
"Well Luke, I'm afraid your too late...Warren's dead."
"Yep, dead. Luke, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to hold you for questionin'."
"I couldn't help you, Sheriff, I just now got into town. I don't know anything."
"Well now, just the same, I need to ask you some questions. Go ahead and have a seat...there's coffee brewin' in the back, if you'd like a cup."

Andy turns to Barney and says under his breathe, "This is gettin' crazy. What're we gonna do with this mess?"

Suddenly Aunt Bee comes into the courthouse, obviously upset. "Andy! Remember we have a body in our living room and it's bleeding on the carpet! What're you going to do about it? Some of the ladies from the church are coming over to bake cakes for the bazaar and I can't have a bleeding corpse in the living room when they get there! You have to DO something, Andy!"

"I know, I know Aunt Bee. I'm doin' everything I can...just don't touch anything. It's an official crime scene. You didn't touch the rock, did you? It'll have to be tested for fingerprints. Just go home and don't look at Warren. Don't you think maybe you should cancel the cake-bakin' for today?!..Why don't ya'll bake cakes over at Clara's house instead?"

"I thought of that but I can't seem to find Clara. I called and called, and even walked to her house to knock on the door. Her car is in the driveway but there's no answer. I'm afraid something is very wrong, Andy."

"Oh, what a time for this to happen...Barney, could you take a drive over to Miss Edward's house and check things out. I would hate to think she might be in the house hurt or sick and can't tell anybody."

"Right, Andy. I'll go check things out."



April 05, 2011 - Msg 83362: Morning porch, such goings on around here. what in the world is happening, Mayberry hss turned into another "sin town"!

my end of the porch has some terrible storms last night, lots of rain, hail, and wind. some damage and power outages as well. It was about 80 degrees on Sunday and now they are forecasting temps around 29 tonight with frost warnings.

Guess somebody should feed this group. lunch menu will be: roast beef sandwhiches with all the fixins, SLAW, chips, Mr. Cookie Bars. sweet tea, lemonade.

Somebody let me know what has happend to Ms. Clara, maybe she ran off with Mr. Goss??

better get to work.

Prayers and blessings to all.
Big Maude

April 05, 2011 - Msg 83363: Good morning, Porchsters! Wow...seems I have missed a lot here. Looks like we got a situation here. A real situation!

It's sunny and a little crisp on my part of the ol' porch. Supposed to reach 67* but we'll see!

Ok, my turn at CSI: Mayberry... LOL!

April 05, 2011 - Msg 83364: Barney arrives at Clara's house and finds that all seems to be ok. He gets out of the squad car and approaches the door. Just as he's about to knock, he sees that the door is just pulled to. Barney, ever so cautiosly, swings the door open and peers in.

BARNEY: "Ms. Edwards? You in here?"

Barney slowly walks in and looks around..

BARNEY: (straightens throat) "Ms. Edwards?...............(straightens throat again).....Clara?"

There isn't anyone in the house and no signs of anything wrong. No signs of forced entry, no signs of a struggle, nothing. He grips the ol' gunbelt and feels a little more at ease until......

As he gets ready to leave, his eyes notice muddy footprints on the floor. Bending down to inspect them, he finds they are too big to be women's feet and they seem to be big prints, like workboots. Barney rises and starts to hyperventilate. Only one person he remembers that could leave behind a clue like that!..........

Mr. McBeevee!

Barney races out the door, jumps into the squad car and heads back to the courthouse!


Y'all have a great day! I'll try to get around for lunch. Thanks for bringing the sweet tea, Maude. Now I wont have to!

John Masters

April 05, 2011 - Msg 83365:
McBeevee or Luke, the cow thief?? haha

April 05, 2011 - Msg 83366:
PS: the undertaker takes warren to the TV Repair shop. (:

April 05, 2011 - Msg 83367: This thing is TOO crazy! LOL

So, Clara's up in the trees with Mr. Mc Beevee?? Warren's at the tv repair shop? Ha!

Maude,we had those bad storms early this morning.No hail though.Our temps are supposed to dip down to nearly freezing by morning. they are predicting frost! Then it will be in the mid 80s after that- crazy weather!
Somewhere,somehow, in the midst of all this confusion, I hope Gomer can marry up with Mary Grace as planned!

possum under a rock

April 05, 2011 - Msg 83368: HAHA!! Mr McBeevee! Good one, JM. This is getting interestin'.


April 05, 2011 - Msg 83369: Meanwhile at the courthouse, Andy is on the phone with Aunt Bee:
"What?! The undertaker said he was taking Warren to the TV repair shop! What in the world?! Doesn't he know we are supposed to send homicides to Mr. Foley's? Foley stores them in his freezer until the county can send an ambulance to take them to the county morgue! I've already called "the man"! What else can go wrong?!"...
Barney busts through the door and frantically says,...



April 05, 2011 - Msg 83370: PS-Possum, I think you might have to start up a new episode after this one to get Mary Grace and Gomer hitched...


April 05, 2011 - Msg 83371: On the comment above, I said WORK boots, not regular boots. So Luke, the cow thief is eliminated. LOL!


April 05, 2011 - Msg 83372: Work boots...hmmm...could be one of those guys doin' the blasting up on the highway, too.


April 05, 2011 - Msg 83373: Yeah, I'll have to do that later ,Boo. Right now most of Mayberry is in the jailhouse,wouldn't be anybody left to make up the wedding party- LOL

possum again

April 05, 2011 - Msg 83374:
We could end this episode now with:
Andy suddenly sits up from a deep sleep.
"What a DREAM!! Man what a dream!
What a NIGHTMARE!" hahahaha

Hey, if it was good enough for Judy Garland and good enough for a WHOLE Newhart series, then
why not good enough for the Taylor Porch? Haha LOL
Gotcha ya, keep it going!

April 05, 2011 - Msg 83375: Hey MDC, you forgot Pam's season long dream without Bobby on "Dallas!"


April 05, 2011 - Msg 83376:
Hello porch family....storms through here last night but thank the Lord we didn't have any damage. Several house around us had some severe damage.

MDC....that's funny....but you know you can really shake Boo's nerves up if you said "Andy woke up and said 'What a DREAM' as he looks over at Helen as she has her head gently laying on his shoulder". hehe

Was talking to a lady today where I was donating blood about TAGS. She said she is a big TAGS fan. Was telling her about the porch....of course I didn't tell her about all the killings taking place in Mayberry now. lol

Well...the Braves are playing so me and little Jake are kicked back in the recliner with a Ginger Ale and popcorn.

Love and prayers for all the porch family!

April 05, 2011 - Msg 83377: Thanks alot for makin me gag, REV!!

I had better go get a shower and tuck Erin in for the night. She stayed up a bit late tonight because she had some homework and was learning about Jim Elliot and the Auca Indians and she is beside herself wanting to learn more. She has a fascination with missionaries in history (like her mom, I must admit). Very cool because it is something we can do together.


April 05, 2011 - Msg 83378: This is getting complicated. Let’s review.

Our latest story started with Andy and Caroline sitting an Andy’s porch swing. Andy mentions to Caroline that she reminds him of a female prisoner that stayed in the jail awhile back. Caroline confides to Andy that she has a sister, Angela who turned to a life of crime, and apparently must have been in the Mayberry jail at one time. She goes on to confide that she and Angela were adopted, and although her biological mother has died, she was able to track down her biological father to Mayberry. But she didn’t know who he was.
Briscoe Darling and his family arrive in town, and Andy realizes that Charlene and Caroline look enough alike to be sisters. He thinks on that awhile, but not too long. Aunt Bee invites them all in for supper. Just as they’re eating dinner, Goober comes rushing in to announce that Malcolm and Ernest T were both in town, and about to have a fight. Briscoe and the boys offer to give help Andy settle down the fight. Warren arrives and says that Ernest T is now throwing rocks through windows. Andy, Briscoe, the boys , Goober and Warren all head outside to go look for Ernest T. As they walk out the door, a rock is thrown from somewhere, and hits Warren right in the head, killing him. Gomer arrives on the scene, and Andy swears him in as acting deputy. Andy decides he better take everyone that was there at the time into custody. Until he can get this thing figured out, everyone is a suspect. Moments later, Barney arrives, on a visit from the Asphalt Jungle. Andy says he can use his help. As they’re driving over to the courthouse, Andy sees Ernest T. He tells him he better come over to the courthouse, and Ernest T obeys. At the courthouse, Andy locks Ernest T up and starts to talk to him about the serious offense he might be facing. Briscoe and the boys are now in the courthouse, and want the Sheriff to let them have a go at Ernest T. The door opens, and in walks Luke Comstock. Luke says he has some business with Warren, and Andy breaks the news that Warren is dead. He says he wants Luke to stay for “questioning”. Aunt Bee arrives to complain that the body is still in her living room. (not sure how it got there, when it had been on the sidewalk) Andy tells her not to think about it, and instead she should go bake cakes at Clara’s. But Aunt Bee informs Andy that Clara is not answering her phone, and she is worried about her. Andy sends Barney over to check on Clara. Barney discovers that Clara is not in the house, and the only clue is muddy footprints, about the size of Mr. McBeevees shoes.
Back at the courthouse, Andy is talking to Aunt Bee on the phone, and finds out that they took Warren to the TV repair shop. This irritates Andy, because the body should have been taken to Mr. Foleys. Oh, brother, what else can go wrong, Andy says to himself. Barney comes rushing in…

(recap, brought to you by Hazel)

April 05, 2011 - Msg 83379: Barney announces that “Clara Edwards is missing!”
Andy slumps down in his chair. “This thing has gone way yonder too far.”
Meanwhile, back at the Taylor house, Charlene and Caroline are in the kitchen. Charlene is showing Caroline how to make fish muddle. Peeking thru the window at them is Big Maude Tyler.

- Hazel

April 06, 2011 - Msg 83380:
Thanks for the re-cap Hazel. I needed that, but it sounds like you been readin' those 15 cent detective magazines again! haha
And where are Opie and Johnny in all this???
And is it Big Maude the crim, or Elenore Poultice, the reformed voice teacher!? haha
or Ralph Hendersdon?
Where's Mayor Pappabear when ya need him??

Hey to all, Rev, glad you're ok. I'll be praying for the others.

April 06, 2011 - Msg 83381: Good grief! I have a headache. I think it's brain strain, trying to stay up with all the happenings in our little town. I never saw such goings-on. I think the fallout has affected our milk. Must be coming from those reactors over in Japan.

Hazel, thank you for the recap. It helps. And I owe you an apology. Back yonder a ways, I should have realized that you obviously wouldn't be a fan of fried chicken. It's just that with you being so witty and so smart and friendly and nice and all, well, I just forget to think of you as a chicken! Sorry!

I think there's only going to be one way to solve all the things that are happening here in Mayberry, and the suggestion has already been made. I really don't think we ought to actually kill Warren. Maybe hurt him a little......

Well, I'm off to bed. Sure hope no rocks come flying through my windows tonight. It would upset little Toye Starr a lot, and wouldn't exactly do me a lot of good, neither! Blessings, friends. --Romeena

April 06, 2011 - Msg 83382: OMGosh, Hazel...when you said Charlene was teaching Caroline to make fish muddle I spit my coffee! HA HA HA!! Thanks for the recap and I forgot to mention that when Warren was hit with the rock, Andy and the boys carried him into the living room...not knowing yet that he was dead. (hehe)


Ro, you know I very seldom disagree with you but dream or not, Warren has to die. ;)

OK, on to another subject. I was thinking about Sterling yesterday. We have not heard from him in ages and I hope he is doing ok. I thought of him because Erin's school got a new pastor/principle and I saw him for the first time on Monday at the parent-teacher's meeting. He spoke to all the parents from the pulpit and he seemed very personable and friendly (polar-opposite of the last one) and I thought it was going well and then he told a story... Now, maybe i am overreacting and we shouldn't expect people to be Jesus and never make a mistake but something he said rubbed me the wrong way and not even so much what he said but how he said it. When your kids are involved, you have to be discerning about the people who are teaching them about God, but i don't want to be overly critical because most of what the guy said was very good. I'm going to share it with you all and see what you think. He started talking about how they are trying to teach "character" at the school and proceeded to tell us that the other day, he and and his wife were having dinner at Jason's Deli. A teenaged girl rushed by them and bumped the tray he was carrying, causing him to drop it. According to him, she just turned around and said something like "What do you want me to do about it?", to which the pastor replied, "You don't know who you're talking to. How about an apology or saying you're sorry." The girl replied with, "I don't have to say I'm sorry." and the pastor said, "Oh, you already told me you're 'sorry'". Then he went to the girl's mother and told her that she obviously didn't raise her daughter right. Now, all of that may be true and the girl's behavior was deplorable, granted, but it just sounded wrong... I think it was the way he said it. I think he should set a better example in front of the kids that were there.


April 06, 2011 - Msg 83383: Oh, forgot to mention that a friend of mine who was at the church and heard the new pastor/principle speak on sunday told me that he told a similar story on sunday about stopping to help a guy change a tire and the guy didn't even bother to thank him...he said, "I hope he gets another flat tire". Haha


April 06, 2011 - Msg 83384: This verse comes to mind: "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."~Colossians 3:12


April 06, 2011 - Msg 83385: A sunny good morning to the porch! Looking for a nice 72* degrees and just a beautiful day!

Boo - Hmmm....sounds to me like this preacher/pastor is just the least little bit power hungry! The line "You dont know who you're talking to" sounds like he has the thoughts of being able to strike her down. Like the collar has went to his head and he is feeding off of his strength in the wrong way. Can you imagine Christ himself saying to someone who bumped into him "Do you know who you're talking to?!" I fully agree with you being uncomfortable with his actions and attitude. He is sending the wrong message. And his going to the daughter's mother and saying what he did to her is also a little over the top.

Back to our story.....

Opie and Johnny are out in the Taylor front yard, trying to figure out what to do when John Masters pulls up in a car and gets out. He approaches Opie and Johnny...
JOHN: "Opie, is your pa home?"
OPIE: "Yeah, he's inside"
JOHN: "Thank you, Opie."

John knocks on the door and Aunt Bee answers.

BEE: "Oh, Mr. Masters, please come in"
JOHN: "Thank you, Bee. I need to see Andy right away!"
BEE: "Certainly!"

John walks over to Andy and Barney

JOHN: "Andy, I think you need to know something."
ANDY: "What? Dont tell me you have some news?"
JOHN: "Andy, I was in the hotel and Ms. Edwards came in with a man who asked for his bill."
ANDY: "Ok, well....dont people always come back to settle?"
JOHN: "But it was what he said to Ms. Edwards that...well....concerned me."
ANDY: "What'd he say?"
JOHN: "He told her that he had to abruptly leave town and that he was sorry he couldnt stay. She seemed pretty upset."
ANDY: "Abruptly leave town, huh?"
JOHN: "Then he said she could go with him if she wanted."
ANDY: "That is odd. Tell me, John....what did this guy look like?"
JOHN: "Well, he was a little shorter than you, snow white hair, elderly man. And was always cracking these jokes. I went to shake his hand and he told me to "hang it on the wall."
ANDY: "Ohhh....("Andy rubs his chin and cheeks)


Good morning to Boo, Ro, MDC, REV, Possum, Hazel, Maude and the rest of y'all. Have a great day!

John Masters

April 06, 2011 - Msg 83386: Morning Porchters. My goodness, this episode is gonna have anyone and everyone who was ever in Mayberry in it before it's done. The cast of suspects grows by the minute. Unless of course it was all a dream. I was thinking about making it a dream also MDC. Like Ro said, Didn't really mean to kill Warren, maybe just hurt him real good. HA Boo, I loved your bit on taking the corpse to Foley's and "calling the man". Very good.
Well if Rodger Courtney is a suspect we would have to deduce that the rock was intended for Andy and not Warren. I don't think Rodger ever even knew Warren, and Rodger did have it in for Andy.
But then again, work boots were entered into the picture. I would imagine Mr. Wheeler wore work boots, although why is anybody's guess. It might be worth Barney making a moulage and seeing if the work boot prints had any serious wear on them. If not, then common sense would dictate that Henry Wheeler may somehow be involved.
I don't know. Andy may have to get that State investigator back down here to help figure this mess out. :)


April 06, 2011 - Msg 83387: Suddenly, the phone rings and Andy picks it up..."Who?!... put her through Sara, I'll accept the charges.....Clara?! Slow down...you're where?...the gigolo club in Yancey?!....You're kidding?! I'll send Barney right away...just sit still and watch the floor show....yes, Barney is back from Mt. Pilot and hopefully he will stay here in Mayberry. Oh, and Clara, after you have a chance to rest a little when you get back, I need to ask you a few questions....Okay, bye."

Andy tells John Masters, "Well, it that don't beat all. That was Clara Edwards and she is stranded in Yancey. Turns out old Roger pulled a fast one and stopped at the Gigolo Club and forced Clara out by gunpoint after making her give up her purse. I had better find Barney.."



April 06, 2011 - Msg 83388:
Hey Folks

Winter is still holding on here for a couple more days but I think by this weekend we'll see some springtime.

Boo-I've also thought of Sterling recently. Hope all is well with him. As for for "Supersize Me" I can't believe such an educated progressive, like the clown that made that movie, didn't know if he over ate for a month he'd gain weight. What a horribly slanted film.

As I type the snow is getting much heavier. Better stop typing.


April 06, 2011 - Msg 83389: Morning porch, the plot is surely thickening in Mayberry. keep up the good work.

a cold 32 degrees this morning and frost on the windshield. flowers/trees are blooming and looking right pretty around my end of the porch. Either I have some allergies going on or am coming down with something (maybe the "pip" whatever that is.) sneezing, stuffy, and feeling kinda tired this morning. May some of the Colonels Elixar will help.

Lunch menu will be: grilled BBQ chicken sandwhiches, chips, pickles, SLAW. oatmeal cookies, sweet tea or grape Kool aid to drink.

have a blessed day.

Big Maude

April 06, 2011 - Msg 83390:
OH NO, not Rodger!!?!
And maybe there was no guy in the muddy work boots. That's why I mentioned old Luke a while back. Maybe HE walked thru the house with muddy boots on a stick! Hmmm. (:

Boo, I agree that that line "You don't know who you're talking to IS indeed troubling!" You need to address this NOW and research this guy on Google etc. See what's up. He sounds like bailey's bad boy "Do you know who my father is??"
P.S.: What say we put this ep "in the can" and start over? I'm just sayin'. ha

April 06, 2011 - Msg 83391: Did you make a moulage?

April 06, 2011 - Msg 83392: Thanks for lunch Maude!...hey to all...great day here in Ga...sunny and 70....lets cook out dogs and burgers on me and possum tonight....all the fixing!...SPOT

April 06, 2011 - Msg 83393: mmmmMMMM...that's a time! Sounds extree good, SPOT!


April 06, 2011 - Msg 83394: The saga continues....
Barney is on his way over the Miss Edwards with his moulage making kit when he notices some strange activity behind Foley's market as he drives by. So he flips a u-turn (thank goodness it's late at night and Gomer wasn't around to see it) and pulls up to Foley's back door, only to see that it's ajar.
Very nervously Barney pulls his gun out and enters into the Market. Once inside he notices the freezer door is open. He quietly sticks his head in the freezer and to his shock, discovers no corpse there. About that time he hears a car out back start up and take off with tires screeching. By the time Barn gets to the back door the car has gone.
Barney rushes back over the Courthouse to tell Andy someone has stolen Warren's remains. He bursts through the door just as Andy is hanging up the phone.
BARNEY: Andy, quick. Get your gun. Someone has just stolen Warren's remains. Lets get after em.

ANDY: Just calm down Barney. Here, set a spell. Have a cup of coffee.
BARNEY: I just saw them Andy, headed down to the main highway. Lets go. I know we can catch them.

ANDY: Sit down here for a minute Barn. I need to talk to you.


ANDY: BARNEY!Sit down now. We gotta talk! What I'm about to tell you can't be repeated to anyone, anywhere, anytime! You got that?

BARNEY: (with a very nervous look on his face) what is it Ang? Whats wrong.

ANDY: Well Barn, it's like this. When EWarren hired on here things were not what they appeared to be. Warren, that's not his real name, was an undercover Federal agent working on a big case of national security. Well his cover was blown, and he was put in the Federal Witness program. I hired him as a favor to Bob Stevenes, an old fed buddy of mine. Well things was going well up until a couple of weeks ago when the Feds called and said they had info that "Warrens" cover was blown again. So we divised this whole plan to make believe Warren was dead. Hopefully those who are after him will leave him be now.

BARNEY: You mean that Warren is still alive?

ANDY: Yes Barney. But as far as you and I are concerned he's still a stiff over at Foley's freezer. You and me need to go over to my house and pick up 150 pounds of bad meat, and put it in a coffin for a burial service on Friday.

BARNEY: Andy, could do another thing while we get the meat?

ANDY: Whats that Barn?

BARNEY: Could we also find room in that coffin for 12 cases of cucumbers?

ANDY: (with a big old grin on his face) Thats an outstanding idea Deputy. Glad you thought of it.

Andy and Barney start out the door as music begins to play.

Fade to black.


April 06, 2011 - Msg 83395: Thanks for putting that episode out of it's misery, Asa. You made me laugh out loud with the thing about the bad meat! So, does this mean that Warren wasn't really the annoying ignoramous that he seemed to be? Was he just pretending as part of the cover up?...hmmm...interesting. Could Helen have been in the witness protection program, too, and only have been pretending to be the crabby, jealous, PMS-on-crack individual that she was?


April 06, 2011 - Msg 83396: And I say "annoying ignoramous" in the nicest way possible. :)


April 06, 2011 - Msg 83397:
"Such goings on, such goings on." So now we still don't know Caroline's true identity!! haha
And was Ernest T part of the whole scheme?
What about the muddy boot prints, and Luke Comstock, and Rodger?? Inquiring minds want to know! teehee
MDC under dotted lines (:

April 06, 2011 - Msg 83398: and the door wasn't even a door, it was a jar!! lol

April 06, 2011 - Msg 83399:
Howdy porch family....well one thing for sure...you never know what's coming next with this group of writers:)

Ya'll have good night.
Love and prayers!

April 07, 2011 - Msg 83400:
Nite all, maybe everyone's minds will be clear in the morning!
Sweet dreams,

April 07, 2011 - Msg 83401: Good mornin'. It's shaping up to be a beautiful day in south texas. Yesterday and the day before were perfect! Everything is already so green and wildflowers are popping up everywhere.

I ended up going to erin's church/school for services last night, to hear the new preacher again and I didn't have any issues with anything he said. I will continue to go for awhile, though. It was an enjoyable service and they baptized three new people...two young girls who just started attending the school and their mother. It was very sweet to witness.

I better go get Erin out of bed. I let her stay up an hour past her bedtime last night because she was so anxious to watch a movie we had on DVD called "The End of the Spear," about Nate Saint, Jim Elliot and the others who were killed by the Auca Indians. I thought she might get bored with it because alot of it is in subtititles and hard to follow, but she sat glued to the tv and a couple of times I saw tears in her eyes. She seems to already have such a heart of God's Kingdom.

Better git!