April 11, 2011 - Msg 83453: Morning Y'all. That's awful about Eloise, Ro. So grateful she wasn't hurt any worse and that her little grandchild made it through unscathed. Prayers for Eloise.
I think I missed I-Hop. I imagine there's no point in trying to head over there now- ol' spotty has probably gobbled up everything in sight!
Concerned about Sterling- he hasn't been here in quite some time.
Well, guess I'll do some chores around the rock- y'all take care!
possum under a rock

April 11, 2011 - Msg 83454: Heck! I'd careful of what I say- mention "chores" and suddenly I'm sweeping the Porch! Wonder what would happen if I made a reference to getting some money? Ha Ha
possum again

April 11, 2011 - Msg 83455: Oops-make that " BETTER be careful"- good grief!

possum once more

April 11, 2011 - Msg 83456: Whew, ol Possum raising a lotta dust out here sweeping. (cough, sputter)
Prayers for Eloise Ro. Them broken ribs are no fun a-tallll!

They have backed off on the call for as much snow here tomorrow. That will help a lot. This morning it is clear and sunny with the high getting around the mid-50's. That is just about poifect for what we need.

Hazel, sounds like your puppy got a reprieve for a short while. Now it's back to the Rock. LOL

MDC, What's cooking down in Arizone these days?

Better get. Lots to do today.


April 11, 2011 - Msg 83457:
Morning honeys and dears. I'll keep quiet on the
government front except to say that if I ran my household spending like DC does theirs(ours), then I'd be living on the street with a tin cup YEARS ago! Nuf said.
Had a very busy weekend doing spring cleaning the whole house from top to bottom, but it's done and it looks great! Now ya all come over amnd I'll grill some steaks!
Glad all is well on the porch. My prayers for the two girls BOO, and for all porch intentions.
Have a good day,

April 11, 2011 - Msg 83458: You clean, MDC?! Wow, aren't you worth your weight in gold? Bruce doesn't clean. Now and then he will help with the kitchen after dinner but that's it. He was raised in a home where the girls and mom did all the house chores and his father certainly never did woman's work...well, neither did mine come to think of it! Guess that's just the way it was in those days when most moms stayed at home. If I worked outside of the home, that would have to change, of course. As it is now, there is no way i want to help Bruce mow and care for these 5 acres, so I will just do what needs to be done INSIDE the house where it is nice a cool. He has been busy these past few days trying to dig trenched for sprinklers in the back 1/3 of the place. He needs to grow some rye grass or something back there for the critters.

Speaking of chores...the laundry awaits!


April 11, 2011 - Msg 83459:
Boo- Cecile and i are a tag team! ha We had the carpets done friday and removed most of the furniture Thursday PM, then as it dried, we moved the furniture back in and it all got dusted cleaned at the same time. It is our spring ritual. Gets all the allergens out during the height of allergy season, and we get a clean house to boot! (:
I grew up in a family of 8 kids. We all had chores from an early age. Mine was to hang the clean cloth diapers (lots of them!) on the lines before school.
My older bro took em down after school. Older sister ironed with an old 7-UP spray bottle, another bro vacuumed, etc. Then my 3 years at HS boarding school we all had cleaning chores, so I am used to it! ha
I rent out, but my travel expenses are unbelieveable ! haha
TOM, asa, and all, good to see ya!
Take care,

April 11, 2011 - Msg 83460:
HA, I made myself laugh when i just read my post!
Sis didnt IRON with the spray bottle, she just dampened the clothes with it. We did have an actual dry iron. (You know, the cast iron kind that you set on the woodburning stove!HA LOL)

April 11, 2011 - Msg 83461: I figured that's what you meant (about the 7-UP bottle). I have seen those with the holes in the lid for sprinkling the clothes. All I can say about your chore is at least you didn't have to CHANGE the diapers, right? Your dear mother must have had her hands full even with you kids doing chores.

oops, time to pick Erin up from school...
Remember the rehab tonight. Those children could sure use your prayers and so could I. I am battling a headache and just feeling depressed and sad today. I have a good idea where that is coming from, though, and it probably means that the Lord is going to do something special tonight. :)


April 11, 2011 - Msg 83462:
BOO- you are so right! My poor mom and dad had to change and then rinse them out in the commode, then put them in a "diaper bin" with one of those
urnial cakes in it. Our main bath always had that smell! ha Hope no one just finished lunch! Oh well.
Boo- my prayers will be with you and the kids tonight.

April 11, 2011 - Msg 83463: Ha! MDC, I remember the "diaper pail" or "diaper bucket" very well. It was just a plastic bucket with a lid. You sprinkled a product called "diaper sweet" (now THERE was a misnomer if I ever heard one) into the water, and the soiled diapers were dropped in to soak until laundry time. Of course, you flushed the solid soil off them before putting them in the bucket. By the time enough diapers collected to make a wash load, they were anything but sweet. My routine was to pour the water off, refill, pour again, and repeat a few times to get the worst of the stink poured away. Then I wrung them out (yes, with my bare hands) and put them back in the bucket to take to the laundromat. I didn't have a washer back then, at least part of the time. I got one after Dale accompanied me to the washateria one evening. We sat and watched a woman come in with a full diaper pail, that obviously had not been "pre-treated" like mine were. Unless my eyes were playing tricks, she hadn't even flushed away the solid waste. She dumped diapers and brownish, stinking water and all into a washer, dropped her quarters in the slot and some soap in the washer, turned it on and walked away! We just looked at each other, and Dale said "We're buying a washer tomorrow." And we did. I hated using the public washers anyway, and that just took the whole biscuit.

Eloise will have surgery tomorrow afternoon to repair her damaged leg. The femur is broken and they're going to put a rod in to stabilize it so it can heal. They're leaving it until tomorrow so her respiratory status can improve a bit - the broken ribs are causing a little trouble, but they think by tomorrow she'll be okay for surgery. Please keep praying for her.

Well, I have to work tonight, so guess I'll try to catch a little nap. Blessings, friends! --Romeena

April 11, 2011 - Msg 83464:
RO-That is classic! Too bad you didnt get Dale down to the coin-op sooner! The fist washer i remeber at home was the ringer style. Swing that ringer to the side, put in each article of clothing from the dirty washer water and CRANK!
Empty the water, put the clothes back in and do it all over again! When we finally got an automatic my mom's feet didnt touch the ground for about two weeks!! haha

April 11, 2011 - Msg 83465: Thanks MDC, prayers appreciated. :)

Wow, Ro, that does take the "whole biscuit". That would have prompted me to buy a washer, that's for sure. It gives me the creeps to think of what else might have been put in those washers. I'll just stop there. Gross!

MSG #83464, is that you MDC? i remember the wringers at the laundry mat. When I was a preschooler my mom didn't have a washer and she would take me up to what we called the "washateria" and one time when mom had her back turned, I turned on the electric wringer and proceeded to put my hand in it, and it went clean up to my elbow. Yow! I still remember what that felt like. The maintenance guy had to take the thing apart somehow to get my arm out.


April 11, 2011 - Msg 83466:
O_W_W_W_W_!! That smarts Boo!
and yes, the other was me!

April 11, 2011 - Msg 83467: an electric wringer, man some of yaz had ALL of them thar modern conve-ni-ences!!

April 11, 2011 - Msg 83468: Rehab went great...best time we have had with the girls in awhile. Very productive and I just enjoyed it so much. Don't want to go into too much detail, but I am smiling a big smile. Thanks for those prayers, MDC. God blessed them and He blessed me and I am feeling pretty joyful. :)

Now I am looking forward to a shower and a good night's sleep! As Scarlett said, "Tomorr-uh's anoth-uh day".



April 11, 2011 - Msg 83469: How'd that happen?


April 12, 2011 - Msg 83470: Well, i was the last one to bed and the first one on the porch this morning. I was hoping Ro would have a report on how Eloise is doing but it is pretty early for that.

You know that good night's sleep I mentioned above? I woke up 2 hours earlier than the alarm clock, darn it! Oh well, the hours I did sleep were good ones.

It is about 60 degrees here this morning and feels wonderful. It will warm up into the 80's, though. I am starting out in pants but will end up in shorts. I was out looking at the flowers and shrubs we planted and they are just gorgeous! What a joy to just look at the lovely things God created.

I found out yesterday that we are going to have to have a new roof put on the house and the barn due to hail damage from the storm we had back in Feb. Our insur@nce deductible is 5,000 dollars so there goes most of the income tax return! Funny how that goes...just when you think you have some extra, something comes along that you don't expect. Have to be grateful for God taking care of the need before you even saw it coming, though. We really wanted to pay off a few bills and dig our well but that will have to wait. We are already seeing some water damage from the roof leaking over the front porch so it has to be done.

I'll bet you all are thinking that this post couldn't be any more boring, right? Sorry, not much to tell right now. Maybe someone should start up a new episode? Possum, are you ready for the Mary Grace and Gomer ep?


April 12, 2011 - Msg 83471: Morning porch, hope all is well. just checking in for a minute from work.

Prayers for Elosie, Romeena. Hope her recovery is speedy quick.

glad Rehab went well Boo.

gotta get to work. check in later, hopefully.

Big Maude

April 12, 2011 - Msg 83472: Mornin' Y'all! Believe it or not, I used cloth diapers for a short time when my daughter was a baby. Yes,they still had cloth diapers & diaper pails back in 1980.Figured since I was a stay at home mom,I'd try it.Changed my mind pretty quickly though and started buying Pampers- LOL!

Hey Maude! Was wondering how you're doing.

Ro,keep us posted on Eloise-will be praying for her.

Ok, Boo, I'm putting the Gomer/Mary Grace thing together in my head-got a good idea for the story, and I hope whoever writes the follow-up installment will pick up on where I'm trying to take the story. And,no, it does NOT involve Helen! Ha Ha!I'll try to get the "Marriage of Gomer & Mary Grace" story posted soon!

Y'all have a great day!

possum under a rock

April 12, 2011 - Msg 83473: Well Possum, maybe you should just write the whole thing yourself, in installments. I think that would be neat.


April 12, 2011 - Msg 83474: Good Morning, Everyone!

A nice day on my end of the porch again! Sun shining, blue skies. Am battling a heck of a case of the sniffles though. But, that happens when the weather goes from 85 to 55 to 70 to well, you get it.

Found some more good stuff for my Quantrill project last night. Have much work to be done today to follow up on it and work on the site a little more.

Possum - Make sure when you write the Gomer/Mary Grace episode that you make it niiiice. REAL nice! And dont go rushin' out on it if there's something you got to do! LOL!

Boo - Glad to hear you found your smile again! I wonder sometimes if some of your down time is from the people and stories you deal with. It sounds, sounds, mind you, that you kinda dip down mood into the trials of those on Earth but find happiness in the goodness of God. Fair assessment, you think?

Big "Heys" to MDC, Maude, Romeena and the gang. Have a wonderful Tuesday and I will see ya' later!

John Masters

April 12, 2011 - Msg 83475: Boo, I think if I write the ending a certain way,somebody will pick up on how I want the storyline to go. Then again, there's always the chance that one of our "Helen lovers" will throw a monkey wrench into the whole thing- ha!
I'll be nice, real nice, John Masters!
Back in a bit with the new story!
possum again

April 12, 2011 - Msg 83476:
Possum- we need to get quiet sam in there too! ha
JM- How did the $300 shopping spree for books go?
BOO- glad all went well at rehab!!
5000 deductible seems a bit steep, sure it's not 500? It would cost me 5000 to re-roof my house, so what good would insur@nce be?. I'm just saying.
Also, as delicately as I can say this upcoming sentence since bruce is a "fed," I will, but when the impending shutdown was looming, and they were saying that all "non-essential" personnel would be furloughed, then doesnt that, by definition, say that we could do without them on the payroll all the time?? Hmmm, I'm just sayin'...did they inadvertently tell us something using that rhetoric?
Well, have a good day all, prayers!

April 12, 2011 - Msg 83477: Pretty fair assessment, JM. :) Honestly, i have been dealing with some relationship issues here at home. Nothing drastic, just some things we need to work on. I know I have mentioned before that Bruce and my son, Sean have a very rocky relationship. One of the big problems is that you have a kid with issues and you have a dad with a perfectionistic personality. It has been a struggle all of our married life. Bruce loves us and is very committed to his family but he is driven, I would say even oppressed by his insecurities and obsession to succeed at everything and sometimes that causes him to be too critical of others. I, on the other hand, am the "live and let live" kind of person who can enjoy life, knowing that there will never be a time when all in life will be exactly as you want it to be. People with personalities like Bruce's have a sad life alot of the time. Its like they are looking though the bars of the prison they hold themselves in and they are unable to enjoy the beauty of life around them. They fail to see that even "failure" can be a positive thing when you trust God. I am the kind that will sit and think, "Wow, how wonderful this time of life is. My children are healthy, my parents are still on this earth, I have a nice home and food on table and god in the heavens. what more could I want?!" He is the type to obsess on the negative thing he can't seem to fix. I have been praying for him and I am seeing his eyes open to how it is all effecting him and especially his family.

I'm sure, MDC, its 5,000. Boy, I only wish it were 500. If we had to pay to do the house and the barn it would be alot more than 5,000, but still I hear what you are saying. You pay so much for insur@nce and then what good does it do you in a situation like this?

Haha...I get what you are saying about non-essential personnel. Makes you think, doesn't it? Thankfully, they considered Bruce as essential personnel!


April 12, 2011 - Msg 83478: *** The Wedding of Gomer & Mary Grace ***

It was a beautiful day in Mayberry- the sun was shining, the birds ( Winkin, Blinkin & Nod ) were singing, the flowers were blooming in the Morrison Sisters' hothouse.. yes, it was a perfect day for a wedding!

Gomer stood in the Taylor's living room as Andy tried to comb a rabbit ridge into Gomer's hair. Gomer's cousin Goober, who would serve as Best Man at the wedding,rushed through the front door,carrying Gomer's fancy shoes with the shiny buckles on them,along with his spiffy acorn necktie.

" I found 'em, Gomer!Soon as Andy gets finished slicking down your hair, I'll help you get dressed.Boy, I love a wedding!And after it's over,when you get to stand in line and shake people's hands and eat cake and them little cucumber sammiches. What'd ya say that was called again, Andy?"

" A reception, Goob." Andy replied.

" Yeah, a reception.I love them receptions!" Goober exclaimed.

Meanwhile over a Thelma Lou's ,Thelma Lou was busy pinning a corsage onto Mary Grace's wedding gown.

"I still don't know why you won't carry a bouquet, Mary Grace." said Thelma Lou. "Why, all brides should carry one- it's traditional!"

" No, no, I want a corSAGE. It reminds me of the first time Gomer & I met.Just call me.. sentimental!" Mary Grace giggled.
"How do I look?" she asked.

" Mary Grace, you look lovely!" replied Thelma Lou as she gazed wistfully at her cousin.

"Oh, Thelma Lou- I know what you're thinking. Don't you worry- Barney will pop the question one of these days."

"Oh, fiddle dee dee, girls!" twittered Aunt Bee. " There's no time to be standing around chit-chatting! We have to head over to the church now- we're going to have a wedding! Today!"

The strains of The Wedding March reverberated through the church. Gomer stood nervously at the altar, Goober by his side.Mary Grace slowly made her way down the aisle.

Reverend Tucker began the ceremony- " Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of Gomer and Mary Grace in Holy Matrimony.If there is anyone here who can show just cause as to why these two should not be lawfully wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."

Suddenly, a throat cleared and a nervous male voice rang out.
" I object you Honor. Well, not your Honor,more like your Reverendship. Well, maybe I don't really object,more like I.. aww, yes, I DO object! Now, what am I objecting to again? Oh, yeah, this marriage. Well,you see, Mary Grace or is it Ralph?? Anyway, it's like this.."

Ok, somebody knows who this is! Keep it going- NEXT!

April 12, 2011 - Msg 83479: My fault, Boo...I didnt know there was more under the personal roof. So I apologize. I didnt know there was more to the story. I do hope everything begins to even out!

MDC - It went pretty good. Didnt spend the whole $300. Got to $246. Eleven new books and a locally produced documentary DVD on the KS-MO. border wars! Plus I have had five books donated additonally to that! All in all, not a bad week! I am tearing my hair out trying to do a site for the project. I am a perfectionist and I have it to a fault sometimes. But then again, so did Charlie Chaplin. And I think he did relatively ok! LOL!

Possum - Got a sweet tea, pillow behind my back in my rocker, I'm ready for a story!

Have a good afternoon, folks! Tonight, SONIC drinks on me!

John Masters

April 12, 2011 - Msg 83480: * story by possum! *

April 12, 2011 - Msg 83481: No need for an apology, JM. Thank you for your concern. :) See ya tonight at SONIC. I'm having a vanilla Dr. Pepper.

Possum, I don't wanna try and follow that...why don't you just keep going with it?


April 12, 2011 - Msg 83482: Oh, by the way, JM...I just received the sweetest email from Bruce. It is probably the most loving, touching, candid note he has ever written me in our 21 years together. He is coming along and prayers are being answered.


April 12, 2011 - Msg 83483: Hey Y'all!
Just stopping by for a quick rock on the porch. I swannee, all I do is run, even with a foot in a cast I still seem to be busy. I can't complain as for a few months I barely left the house.

The family went to Biltmore last week during the kids spring break. It was absolutely gorgeous! I put a bunch of pictures on Facebook so if you're one of my friends there go take a look.

To me one of the best parts was the little towns we went through. I need to go to Mt. Airy one of these days. I can see how Mr. Griffith decided to make Mayberry in North Carolina. We were in Dillsboro and it was so much like Mayberry.

Well, folks, sorry for the short visit. I have to go pick up the youngest from his homeschooling school and my stepdaughter from her high school. Y'all have a fabulous rest of the evening! Prayers for everyone.


P.S. I'll take a Rt. 44 sweet tea stat, Mr. Masters.

April 12, 2011 - Msg 83484: Dillsboro? I love Dillsboro, Lucy! Next time stop in Saluda, NC. It will really remind you of Mayberry.
Boo, I'll wait & see if one of the others will continue the story. C'mon,you guys!
Well, I'm gonna go check out Lucy's FB pics-see y'all later!

possum again

April 12, 2011 - Msg 83485: Great news, Boo! Sounds like the ray of light you needed!

Hey to Lucy! Good to see ya' again!

Possum - Think I will have to sit this story out. I am looking forward to it's continuation though!

I believe I will get a Cherry-Vanilla Dr. Pepper if I can make it to SONIC later. If not, y'all have fun and drink 'em if ya' got 'em! LOL!

John Masters

April 12, 2011 - Msg 83486: Hmmm...never tried a Cherry-Vanilla Dr Pepper but maybe I'll try it tonight.

Have to go to a birthday dinner for a neice this evening at a local steak house. So funny how kids are these days. She is only 10 but instead of a party, she chooses a steak! ha...a true Texan, that one.

Better git goin'!


April 12, 2011 - Msg 83487: TATERS!!

April 12, 2011 - Msg 83488: I will think on the Gomer/Mary Grace ep, Possum. I seem to be having writer's block, as is JM apparently but I will put my thinking cap on later.


April 12, 2011 - Msg 83489: "Hey" to Lucy!


April 12, 2011 - Msg 83490: MEAT!

April 12, 2011 - Msg 83491:
Hello porch family...trust you all are having a great day!

Lucy....possum is right about the little town of Saluda,NC. You'll enjoy your visit.....it's not far off the interstate.

JM....think I'll have a grape slushy at Sonics. Thanks!

You all have a good night.
Love and prayers

April 13, 2011 - Msg 83492: Good evening, porch. Been at the hospital most of the afternoon and into the evening. Eloise had surgery to repair the fractured femur. The surgeon put a rod in to stabilize it, and the bone will just grow around it and heal right over the rod. He said everything went just fine, and he expects no problems. She'll be in CCU for a couple of days, then in a regular room on a med/surg floor, then about ten days in rehab. After that, home, with limited activity for several weeks. If I know my friend, and I do, she'll be just fine. She's a trooper. Thanks for the prayers, and don't stop now!

I hear some encouraging words coming from you, Boo. Life is a never-ending process of maturing, isn't it? I guess we never really get completely "grown".

Say, did I see Hank Kimball's old truck parked over by the church? I haven't seen him in ages, not since he moved to Hooterville.

Blessings, friends! --Romeena

April 13, 2011 - Msg 83493: Thanks, Ro.:)

So glad Eloise is doing as well as possible. Continued prayers.

Hey you got it...that must have been Hank Kimball at the wedding. I didn't get it until I read your post but it's pretty clear now.

Yesterday was a beautiful day here in south texas and it should be nice again today. I got in some good porch sittin' yesterday afternoon and was sure wishing I had a hammock on my front porch. It was the kind of day where there is a soft, cool breeze and the air is dry, the sun is shining and a nap just seems like the natural thing to do.

Better get Erin going for school.


April 13, 2011 - Msg 83494: Morning folks.

Alright Possum. A new episode. It sounds like you have some thoughts about how this one should go, and seeings how I'm the one who brought Helen back (much to Boo's displeasure lol) and was responsible for thinking someone had killed Warren, I might wait a bit and see what direction this goes. But I wait with glee. You are an excellent writer.

Ro, glad your friend is on the mend. My prayers will continue for her recovery.

Good to see you Lucy. Sounds like you had a nice trip.

John Masters, MDC. Is there gonna be a football season this year? I cannot believe with all the money being made in the game these greedy buggars (on both sides) can't come to some resolve. I'm as big a fan as there is and right now I'm so disgusted with em all I just may walk away from them. Just goes to show money destroys a lot of things, or at least the love of money.


April 13, 2011 - Msg 83495: C'mon Possum...you're the only one who knows where to go with Hank Kimball...

Mornin' Asa.


April 13, 2011 - Msg 83496: A hearty good morning to one and all! A "You're Welcome" to those who got their SONIC drinks last night! I didnt get to go by and get mine, but hope everyone enjoyed theirs! A bright sun shining on my rocker and is lining up to be a beautiful day. The only downside...mowing is waiting for me later on today! Ugh!

Ro - Continued prayers for Eloise! Crossed fingers too in hopes she cruises to a speedy recovery!

Boo - I dont have writer's block for this story, I just dont think I can commit to it too long. Have much to do and it sounds like Possum is trying to get a quality story out of it, so I dont want to just whip something up.

Asa - Ummm...I dont know about football! I am as anxious and uncertain as you are. I know one thing...I am SO tired of hearing the words WORK stoppage when it comes to sports! Yeah, I know they work hard at what they do, but they PLAY a GAME! You dont hear the umpire yell "WORK BALL!" when starting a game. It's PLAY ball. Someone needs to point at the players and tell them they are darn lucky for the priviledge (sp) of being drafted by these owners! Then....you point right at the owners and tell them that they need to be thankful their superstar players pulls in the money! Then slam the Lombardi trophy on the table between them and tell them THIS is what it's all about and I imagine Coach Lombardi himself is standing on a cloud somewhere cussing six ways from Sunday! I sure hope the season isn't lost, Asa, but....I am holding my breath too.

Possum - An appearance by Hank Kimball?!....you sure are a good sneak! LOL!

Off to research, everyone. Have a great day and I will try to make it back for lunch!

John Masters

April 13, 2011 - Msg 83497: Mornin' Y'all- Yep, it's ol' Hank Kimball! I really didn't have any ideas beyond this point as to how the story should go, but I guess I can conjure up something. Give me some time to put my "thinking bucket" on my head and see what I can come up with, ok? Thanks for the compliment Asa. Writing I can handle- just don't ask me to do math! Ha Ha

Ro, I'm glad that Eloise made it through the surgery & is doing so well.

Rev, I wonder if you & I have been in Saluda, NC at the same time? I go there quite a bit. We already figured that we bumped into each other as kids in that Newberry book stand across from the picture show! I wonder how many of us have actually crossed paths in our travels and never realized it? Makes ya think!

Y'all have a great day- I'll think on the wedding story & see what else I can come up with. Anyone wants to jump in, go right ahead!
possum under a rock

April 13, 2011 - Msg 83498: Hi All.
Just a rain full day:(


April 13, 2011 - Msg 83499: Lunch menu:Open face Roast Beef sandwiches,cream taters,onion and cuke salad....tea water...prayers ....SPOT

April 13, 2011 - Msg 83500: MDC, after your post about our deductible, I asked Bruce about it being so high and he told me that when he purchased it when we did all the stuff to close on the house, he set the deductible at 2% and the insur@nce covers the house at 290,000. Since 2% of 290,000 is 5700, that is the deductible. Stinks but he says it keeps the premiums lower or something. I have been a homeowner for 25 years and have never had to use my homeowner's insur@nce for a roof and never seen hail damage to anything I owned. It was one of those freak storms that we just rarely experience in south texas, but you never know. Bruce told me that it cost 15,000-16,000 to put the roof on the house when we built it, so at least we don't have to pay that amount, thank God!

Well, plenty of chores to get done and more schooling for sean so better "Git to it!" (picturing Aunt Bee as Bloody Mary).


April 13, 2011 - Msg 83501: Oh, man....just looked out on the back porch and there, lying in the middle of the porch near the frenc doors, are the legs of a buzzard. I can only imagine the dogs must of dug them up from somewhere or got under the fence and found them on the road. Talk about gross! I think I'll leave those for Bruce to pick up when he gets home. Last month is was half a of rabbit now two legs from a buzzard. Sounds like the knotheads are working on some kind of an incant.


April 13, 2011 - Msg 83502: Sorry I missed lunch, folks. But on to some really riveting research and adding more great history to my project if the info holds up!

Here's some sweet tea and cups under the table. Enjoy!

Hope all is well!

John Masters

April 13, 2011 - Msg 83503:
JM- leave out the d on the "sp' and you're good.
Boo- that is interesting about the deductible. Ours is 500, that's why i asked.
The legs of a buzzard? Charlene must be near! ha
Tom, sorry about the rain. April showers bring May flowers, ya know! (:
APB for poor Horatio, Sterling and others!

April 13, 2011 - Msg 83504: hey gang , just doing a trouble check ...the wife and eturned from our yearly beach trip .The R and R was very much needed .Prayers for all

April 13, 2011 - Msg 83505: Where is everybody this evening. I was gonna see if anyone wanted to walk downtown with me, get a pop, and watch them change the letters on the picture show.

It's a good night for porch-sittin' but will have to do it alone.


April 13, 2011 - Msg 83506: Im with ya Boo!...SPOT

April 13, 2011 - Msg 83507: I'm in too Boo. Sounds nicer then here. You'd be soaked and cold if we sat on my porch tonight. The rain is coming in sideways.

Hey to Mayberry Deputy Glad you got some R and R.


April 14, 2011 - Msg 83508:
Howdy porch family...this has been a busy day here on this end of the porch. It's 1:00am and just getting through. Wanted to check in on ya'll.

Ro...so glad Eloise is doing good. Continued prayers!

Asa and Tom....ya'll stay dry:)

Possum....yep, we may have crossed paths in Saluda,NC. But I've only been there once though. My wife and I were heading to TN and decided to make a quick stop in there a few years back. Been saying that I was going back but normally when I'm going that way I'm in a hurry to get to a concert.

Boo....you keep it up we'll have enough animal parts for a stew.....lol. Think I'll go to the diner on that night:)

We'll gang I'm off to bed.
Love and prayers!

April 14, 2011 - Msg 83509: Good mornin'. :) Is it still raining on you all, ASA? It has been looking like rain the past two days here but not a drop that I can tell. We still don't have the rain gutters in place so I hope it will hold out until after the new roof and the gutters. That's a lot to hope for this time of year, though.

REV, I forgot to ask Bruce to pick up the buzzard remains yesterday so they are till out there. I'm going to have to go out there this morning before I let the dogs loose and pick up those legs! Eww. Garbage pick-up is tomorrow so I can just throw them in the big can like I did the rabbit remains. All I could think about is the germs that must be on those buzzard legs and I wouldn't let those dogs come near me. There is no way they were going to lick me. Yesterday Sean and I were trying to figure out how we could get some disinfectant mouthwash in their mouths! Yuck.

SPOT, are you watching American Idol this season? There is some really good talent this year and I have been enjoying it.

Possum, hope you find some time to carry on with the Gomer story today.


April 14, 2011 - Msg 83510: Morning Boo. Looks like it's just you and me this morning. That buzzard isn't the remains of "Don, the hungry buzzard" is it?


April 14, 2011 - Msg 83511: Nope...just plain ol' dead buzzard. ;)

These country dogs are so gross sometimes. Especially my female dog. She will eat anything and everything. The male isn't quite as adventurous.


April 14, 2011 - Msg 83512: Mornin' Y'all! Boo, I'll see if I can come up with Part 2 of the story soon. Maybe I'll even work a buzzard into it- LOL

possum under a rock

P.S. Good one about Don the buzzard, Asa!!

April 14, 2011 - Msg 83513: 8 ?? Sorry- still getting used to this laptop.

possum again

April 14, 2011 - Msg 83514: Good Morning, fellow Porch sitters!

Doggne it, if I was around last night, I woulda went to get a pop and watched them change the marquee.

Ro - Continued prayers and well wishes from me as well for Eloise!

Possum - So can we expect maybe more cameos in the wedding story from say Gomer Pyle USMC? Or more Green Acres?

Boo - Watch out pickin' up those buzzard parts! Might be spiders under there! LOL!

Asa - Hope you're dry! We was supposed to get rain last night and thunderstorms today, but have gotten the all clear!

Mayberry Deputy - I dont think we've had the pleasure. I am John Masters, been here, oh, 'bout a year or so. Good to meet ya'!

Thanks for the spelling tip, MDC! Sometimes, the big ones trip me up! LOL!

Have a bright and beautiful day, folks. Hope all goes well for you today! I wont be around for lunch. Have to go help the FIL do some yard work. See ya soon!

John Masters

April 14, 2011 - Msg 83515: ** Back To Our Story **

" Hankie??" Mary Grace stammered. " Hankie, is it really you?"

" Yeah, it's Hankie.I mean, it's Hank Kimball,I mean,ah.."

Mary Grace slowly turns to Gomer and says " Gomer, I don't know how to tell you this,but well, Hankie here- he's my one and only true love. I hoped and prayed that one day he'd come to his senses and realize that we were meant for each other. I'm sorry Gomer, but I just can't marry you."

"Shazam!" Gomer softly said under his breath.

" Oh, Hankie! I can't believe you came all the way from Hooterville for me! Let's get out of here!" Mary Grace exclaimed.

" Okie Dokie" said Hank as he started up the aisle toward the door. "Oh, wait a minute, I forgot somebody. Go ahead, Ralph, my truck's outside. I'll be back in a minute- well ,maybe not a minute, more like a few seconds, or no, maybe more like a few minutes.." Hank's voice trailed off.

Suddenly Andy made his way towards Gomer,who seemed to be in a daze at the altar.

" Uh, folks, folks, listen up a minute. As you can all tell, there has been a change in plans. I'm afraid there's not gonna be a wedding today,so Gomer thanks you all for coming out, and well, let's everybody head on home now.. just head on home."

" Andy, what about all them sammiches and food over in the Social Hall?" Goober asked.

" Goob, why don't you go on over there and pack all that stuff up and take it to my house. Aunt Bee will know what to do with it." Andy suggested.

" Can I have a couple of them little sammiches, Andy?" asked Goober.

" Yeah, Goob, just go on. I wanna talk to Gomer. Here comes Opie- Op, why don't you go with Goober and help over at the Social Hall? " Andy said.

" Pa,I just saw the strangest thing!" Opie said excitedly. " Wanna know what I just saw?"

" What Op?" Andy said in an irritated way.

" Pa, you're not gonna believe this, but I could've sworn I just saw a pig dressed in a tuxedo! He was walking with that feller that came for Mary Grace."

" Op, NOTHING would surprise me today!" Andy said. "Now, run on with Goober. And don't get your good suit dirty! Act like somebody, ya hear?"

With that, Andy turned to Gomer, put an arm around his shoulders and said " Gomer, I'm just as sorry as can be about all of this.What say we go over to the Diner and grab a bite to eat? We need to sit down and think about this thing."

**** Ok, that's as far as my brain can go with this! Somebody can write a Diner scene! NEXT!****

possum again

April 14, 2011 - Msg 83516:
Hello porch family...nice day here in SC.

Well I'm going over to the diner and see what Andy and Gomer will say....hehe

Love and prayers!

April 14, 2011 - Msg 83517: Hello, everyone! I'm Adam in NC. Thought I'd drop by for a social call and introduce myself. Really enjoying the story possum. Hope all have a blessed day.

April 14, 2011 - Msg 83518:
Shazam, possum give us a decoy! (:

April 14, 2011 - Msg 83519: Wait...I thought that Hank was Mary Grace's brother??


April 14, 2011 - Msg 83520:
What? How quickly these stories take twists! ha
Maybe possum's got a rude.
You got a rude postum? (:

April 14, 2011 - Msg 83521: Hey, Boo. I save a few newspaper bags for just such emergencies as your buzzard legs. When I have a particularly distasteful job to do, I just pull a couple of those plastic bags over my hand and arm and get after it. I pick up the dead critter or whatever it is, and then just pull the bag downward, turning it down over the nasty stuff, and end up with it bagged up. Tie a knot in the end and it won't stink up the garbage bag before trash day. Remember how they taught us in nursing school to hold a soiled dressing in a gloved hand, turn the glove inside-out over the dressing, then repeat with the other glove, and you've effectively double-bagged the dressing. Same principle.

No, Hank wasn't Mary Grace's brother. Her brother was named Alf, and Mary Grace went by the name of Ralph at that time. No, not Ralph Henderson, I think it was Ralph Monroe. Anyhow, Ralph was wild about Hank Kimball for some reason - never could see it myself. Nice guy and all, but more than a little on the ditzy side. No accountin' for taste, I always say.

Well, I'm bushed. Worked last night, and it's been a long day, and I'm ready to crash for a while. Blessings, everyone! --Romeena

April 14, 2011 - Msg 83522: Welcome to the Porch, Adam, and thanks! We're just having fun & being silly with our little stories. If you'd like, go back a few pages in the Archives and read a few others. There are all kinds of things happening in Mayberry!
Thanks for explaining who Hank was,Ro. Now.. somebody pick up the story. Andy & Gomer can't sit in the Diner all night- it ain't open 24 hours! LOL
Thank you, MDC- I ain't never got no RUDE before! : )

possum under a rock

April 14, 2011 - Msg 83523: Evening friends. I'm liking the new story so far Possum. I'd add to it but I just recieved some very sad news.
I don't know if any of you knew of a fellow that used to post over at Miss Crumps by the name of Ma Tweezers. I know Romeena knew him, and even bought some of his art work I believe. He was diagnosed late last year with leukemia. I just heard a few minutes ago he has passed away from the disease. So very sad. I think Hazel knew him also. I just wanted to pass it along to Ro and Hazel and anyone else who might have known him.


April 14, 2011 - Msg 83524: Sorry to hear that,Asa. RIP Ma Tweezers.

possum under a rock

April 14, 2011 - Msg 83525: Thanks for the tip (and the explanation about Ralph and Hank...its been many years since I watched Green Acres). That is really a good idea about the newpaper bags and with these two knuckleheads around here, I'm gonna need to start savin' em. Wish I coulda found that other leg...I'm a little paranoid about running into at some point.

Very sad about your friend over at Miss Crumps, Asa. I didn't know him but I still feel sorry over his passing.

Welcome to the porch, Adam...don't be a stranger.

Boy, I just don't know where to take that story of your, Possum, but I guess I can take it a little bit farther:

Poor Gomer slumps along to Andy's patrol car, looking sadder than can be and Andy has to help him into the passenger side. Gomer slides down in the seat until the top of his head is barely visible. Andy is trying deperately to think of something that will make him feel better but what do you say to a guy who just got left at the altar by the only girl he ever loved? Andy gets in, shakes his head and drives to the diner. Once there, he practically has to pull Gomer out and pull him inside. He guides him to a corner booth away from the other patrons and pushes him into the seat. Andy takes his place across from Gomer, as once again, Gomer begins to slide down into his seat.
"Andy, what am I gonna do? I can't git her back and I guess I will just spend the rest of my life alone in the back of Wally's fillin' station."
"Oh, Gomer, I know you're feelin' mighty low right now but I promise, it'll get easier. You are way yonder too young to give up on the idea of one day gettin' married and starting a family."
An uncomfortable silence hangs in the air as Andy tries to think of something wise to say. Just then, a waitress approaches their table that Andy has never seen before. She looks to be about 30 and has a sweet, childlike face with big blue eyes. "Hi, my name is Tammy and I'll be your waitress. What can I get for you?...(turning to Gomer)...Sir? Are you alright? I couldn't help notice that you look like you aren't feelin' well. Is there something I can get you? Some bicarbonate of soda or somethin'?" Gomer lifts his head for the first time since entering the diner and his eyes meet the prettiest blue eyes he has ever seen. "Gooo-leee, ma'am, I'm not sick (smiling shyly). My name's Gomer. Very pleased to meet ya."
"Well, very please to meet you, too. I just moved here from Raleigh to visit my great-aunt. She needs a little help these days so I thought I would stay with her here in mayberry, get a job and help out for awhile."
"Well, I'm sure glad you did. You must be a real nice girl to help out your auntie like that." Barney is getting downright happy just talking with Tammy. Andy breathes a sigh of relief. Maybe he won't have to come up with any words of comfort after all. He is very glad that Tammy showed up..."Tammy, who is your aunt? We might know her," asked Andy.
"Her name is Emma Watson."
"Yore Emma's niece?! Well, sure we know Emma..she's an old friend of ours. So nice of you to come to help her."
"Well, family is family. I had better take your order. What can I get you fellas?"
Gomer is staring with "moon eyes" and a goofy smile on his face at Tammy.
"I'll just have some coffee, thanks," answers Andy. "Gomer, what'll ya have...? Gomer?...Gooome?" Gomer finally snaps out of it. "Oh! I'll have a lemon phosphate, please ma'am."



April 14, 2011 - Msg 83526: Don't know why i called Gomer "barney" but you all figured that out, right?


April 15, 2011 - Msg 83527: I just hear about Ma Tweezers passing. I'm so sorry to hear about that. I wasn't aware of his illness. May the good Lord be with his family and all his friends.

April 15, 2011 - Msg 83528: Oh, my goodness, Asa! I didn't know anyone by the name of Ma Tweezers, but I did buy some paintings done by the husband of an old-time porchster here, Mary Wiggins. Is that who you're talking about? Oh, I do hope that's not who it is. Her husband is extremely talented, and I have three perfectly beautiful wildlife paintings in a front bedroom. I had emailed her a while back to see about getting one or two more, but never got a reply. I have a sick feeling that it is Mary Wiggins' husband.

Well, guess I'd better get settled down and get to bed. I've decided to go to Fredericksburg tomorrow, and will need a good night's sleep behind me. Blessings, all. --Romeena

April 15, 2011 - Msg 83529:
Prayers for all!

April 15, 2011 - Msg 83530: Ro, I just read that email about the building of the Empire State Building. Wow, I could feel my toes curling up looking at those pictures. Hard to imagine! I hope its not Mary Wiggins' husband that passed away. Wasn't his name Pat?..or maybe I am thinking of Mavis' ex-husband.

Why are you heading to Fredricksburg tomorrow, Ro? Going to visit the family?

Better get started with the day. It's a muggy and warm one right now in south texas...supposed to get all the way up to 93 today. We are getting the new dehumidifier in today. I know I mentioned that we had the other replaced three times. Now they are putting in a different brand. Sure hope this one works like it is supposed to. With the high humidity outside and the foam insulation in the house, a dehumidifier is a must when the higher temps arrive.


April 15, 2011 - Msg 83531: Morning Porch. It's Friday.

Romeena, I may have confused you with someone else. No, this isn't Mary Wiggins husband. At least I don't think so. His first name is Eric. I thought years ago you had mentioned you had bought some of his work. He lived in Michigan. I know that Floyd and Hazel knew him. Mostly from some other Mayberry boards. I don't think he ever posted here on the Porch.

Hey Boo, I like where your taking this new episode. Poor old Gomer. Hate seeing him so low. You're a romantic one Boo. First Caroline, now Tammy. I don't know how you do all that, while still finding time to pick up buzzard parts. lol.

Well better go see what the day brings on. Hope it's mild. I need to ease into the weekend.


April 15, 2011 - Msg 83532: Well, Asa I think the guy that Ro bought the paintings from was from michigan and now that I am thinking of it, his name might have been Eric.

Well, I may seem romantic in my writing but in real life, I'm not. Just ask poor Bruce. ;)

Better get back to the chores.


April 15, 2011 - Msg 83533: A cheerful good morning to the Friday porch sitters!

I LOVED the very brief cameo/mention of Arnold the Pig in the story! Arnold was the best!

I am sorry to hear the passing of a member of Miss Crump's. I go over there frequently. Dont recall anyone by that monniker, but the folks over there are good eggs and I know the board will take it hard.

Ro - I asked you sometime back, but you must have missed it...do you have fountains in your yard? Good grief, how I love fountains! I would have one in my front yard, back yard and every room in the house if I could! LOL!

Boo - So we ease another young woman into Mayberry! Have you been taking matchmaking tips from Barn? Next thing is...you'll have women meeting at Wally's because they were asked there by Thelma Lou! LOL!

Hey to Adam! Good to meet ya'! Find a good chair, grab ya' a pop and set a spell. The people here are extree good and are a great bunch! You'll have fun here!

Better git, folks. Have a great Friday and hope all is well on your end of the porch! Here's a pitcher of sweet tea with lemons in it. Help yourself! I forgot the cups....haveta bring your own!

John Masters